Finn Morgendorffer
by HolyGrail2007
Summary: Explore the life of the family Morgendorffer in this alternate universe, where Daria's sister Quinn is now her younger brother, Finn.
1. Lawndale's Apollo

The blue Lexus drove steadily towards Lawndale High School. In the driver's seat of the car, Jake Morgendorffer had directions in his lap as he checked for street names and stoplights.

"Now, this isn't Highland anymore, you two." Jake spoke to the two other passengers in the car, his two children.

"I thought there was something different today." From the backseat, Jake's daughter Daria noted briefly.

"I'm just saying, Daria." Jake regarded his daughter in the rear view mirror. "Things don't have to be the same as they were in Highland."

"Somehow I'll manage. But I can't help but miss the smell of rendered hog fat." Daria noted again, not looking at her father.

"Daria..." Jake's voice trailed off for a moment. Daria made no motions to encourage him to continue.

"We're here." Daria spoke quickly in order to quickly silence her father. He pulled up to the curb of the school.

"Daria, your mother and I just wanted to say we know a new school can be tough, and people don't always take to you from the first impression..." Jake started to say an encouraging word. Daria looked as if she was about to interrupt him, but before she could get another word in, another voice chimed in.

"Or any impression, for that matter." The third passenger, riding shotgun, quickly commented, silencing both Daria and Jake.

"Now, now." Jake replied before turning his attention back to Daria.

"I know fitting in doesn't come as easily for you as it does to others, but if you give people a chance..."

"A chance?" The third passenger replied again. "Someone would have to be starving, bleeding, and radioactive just to speak to her." The passenger unbuckled the seat belt and exited the front seat of the car.

"Fitting in doesn't come easily." Daria noted to her father once she was alone. "You mean not like it comes to him, right?" Daria's head motioned towards the exiting passenger.

"That's not what I meant, Daria." Jake sighed. "Not exactly. I'm saying that your brother makes friends so easily because he's friendly to everyone. Give it a shot, kiddo, and you'll see it works for you."

"And next, he can teach me how to gel my hair, block an interception, and give girls eating disorders. I'll contain my enthusiasm." Daria's responses were just as dry as her brother's as she exited the door to Standardized Hell, also known as High School. The first day of high school with her younger brother.

* * *

As soon as he had gotten out of the car, the third passenger straightened his posture as he regarded the scene around him. There were students of varying grades around. Some were chatting wit h each other, others were fishing in backpacks for supplies, or putting things away. But as soon as they noticed the new figure in their midst, everyone stopped what they were doing to regard the new person in their midst.

"_And why wouldn't they?" _He thought to himself. "_This is certainly worth looking at." _The passenger stood five and a half feet tall, although his growth spurt was not yet done, so there was plenty more height for him to gain. His straight hair was fiery red and cut short, with a very slight amount of hair gel giving it a slightly reflective look and the illusion of more depth. His eyes shined a radiant deep blue, and seemed to sparkle and warm an onlooker as he smiled, which happened frequently.

Late August's warm weather had the man dress in a black and silver striped T-shirt, sized small. A size medium would have been more appropriate for his height, but this smaller size had the advantage of being distinctly tighter on his body, showing off his impressive musculature. Indeed, even when the weather turned colder, he would often still be wearing short sleeves in a small sized shirt. Even though his ripped biceps, toned pecs, and rock-hard abs could still be seen in long sleeves, it just wasn't the same when fabric was blocking them.

His hips held a pair of denim shorts, that fell just above his knees. Although they hung loosely around his calves, a single look told anyone that he did not neglect the lower half of his body as some athletes tended to do; his quads and calves were quite impressive.

From his well-coiffed hair to his black sneakers, everything about the man exuded an air of confidence and handsomeness. The students of Lawndale, used to the normal and commonplace, looked in awe at the deity in their midst.

"Hey." The first worshiper spoke to him. "Are you new here?" He asked.

"Yes." The man replied, the corners of his mouth turning into a smile.

"You seem pretty cool. What's your name." Another man tried to play it cool, but his face and eyes betrayed him; he was melting in his shoes as if a glistening Baywatch babe had asked him on a date.

"Morgendorffer. Finn Morgendorffer." He replied.

"Wow, Finn, you're gorgeous." A woman with raven-black hair made her way through the crowd.

"Would you like to go for coffee after school?" She asked.

"What period is your lunch, Finn?" A dark-skinned girl quickly jumped in. "I'd love it if you sat with me."

"I can show you around the school right now." A busty blonde eagerly joined into the fray.

"Wow, you're all so nice." Finn shot another smile, and the girls' hearts all went aflutter.

"How could I possibly say no to such girls. What a fantastic way to start my first day of school." His words flowed from his mouth poetically, and the girls swallowed it all. They eagerly surrounded Finn and moved with him towards the door to the school, opening it so that Finn would not have to expend the effort.

The front entrance was now devoid of people, bar one.

"Gee, I sure hope Finn isn't lonely. What's a good big sis to do?" Daria noted sarcastically to herself as she went inside the school.

* * *

"I'd like to personally welcome all of you students to Lawndale High." All of the new students were greeted by a bespectacled portly Asian woman, who identified herself as Ms. Li, the principal of the school.

"Our school is a statement of pride for all of it's students. Between our athletics teams and academic clubs, every student here takes great pride in the contributions they make to Lawndale High." Ms. Li's voice was reverent when speaking the name of the school.

"I saw a pretty big trophy in the case when I came in. Is that a State trophy?" Finn, standing front and center in the group, asked.

"Why, yes, it is. That trophy was claimed two years ago when Lawndale High brought home the State championship in football." Ms. Li seemed very proud of the accomplishment, even though she would have had nothing to do with bringing home the trophy.

"And you, old boy, you look like you know how to handle that pigkin, huh?" Ms. Li snorted and laughed a little.

"I don't think a woman in her 50's should be calling a teenager old boy." Finn reversed, causing many of the new students to chuckle at the woman. Ms. Li seemed quite insulted by his remark.

"But, to respond your question, I know a thing or two. Our middle school won many football games all three years I played for it. I hope the people in Lawndale are as excited about it as those back in Highland."

"Do you play any other sports, Mister..." Ms. Li prodded. It seemed that the thoughts of more trophies in the case drowned out the age remark.

"I'm Finn." Finn replied. "Does this school have a boxing team?"

"We do!" Ms. Li was enthusiastic. "Many of the team graduated last year. I'm sure Coach Stevenson would be happy to meet with you. He has office hours second period, but just stop by and see him, he'll right you a pass." She commented in a low voice to Finn. The other new students starting chatting with Finn as Ms. Li lead them towards the guidance offices.

* * *

"Now students, to make sure everything is alright before you start your classes, we're going to ask you all to take a psychological assessment test." Ms. Li delivered flatly.

"What, a test?" Finn frowned. "On the first day of school?" The other students said supportive words.

"A psychological test." Daria commented. "That means it's a test for your mind. You don't have one, nothing to worry about." The other students in the crowd glared at the speaker of the offending remark.

"Hah, hah." Finn noted sarcastically. "But really, it's not graded, right?" He asked another student in the group.

"Don't worry, Finn, you'll do fine. After the test, we'll still have time to catch breakfast in the cafeteria. I think they're serving pancakes." A young girl with long brown hair replied.

"Oh, but I didn't bring extra money today." Finn said sadly. "I won't be able to, sorry, dear."

"Oh, that's no worry, I can get some for you! I'll just use the money for lunch to get two breakfasts."

"How thoughtful!" Finn smiled at her. "But you really don't have to do that. I mean, not if you don't want to. But if you do I'm really a fan of maple syrup."

"Of course." Daria replied. "She doesn't need to get the nutrition of two meals when she can bask in the glow of a star athlete before he's ever won a game." All of the other students separated from Daria and clustered around Finn.

"What a weird girl." One girl said.

"She's such a buzzkill." A guy agreed.

"She's just jealous of your good looks, Finn." The woman who invited Finn to breakfast stared only at him. "I know you're a guy and all, but if I had your features, all the men would be chasing me!"

"Oh, wow, you guys are so nice!" Finn said pleasantly. "Yeah, let's just ignore this jealous pathetic weird girl." He glared at Daria, his very own sister, as the crowd of people formed a protective bubble around him.

* * *

Daria and Finn were both seated at a table with the school psychiatrist, Mrs. Manson.

"Hello, Finn, and hello...err...Darla." She greeted the two of them.

"Daria." Daria corrected.

"You don't have to call her by name. Just call her you." Finn instructed. "So, we're not being graded on this test, right?"

"No." Mrs. Manson replied, then she held up a picture.

"Finn, tell me, what is the picture I am holding."

"They're pictures of two people talking. Hey, this is pretty easy!" Finn cheered.

"What are they doing?" Mrs. Manson asked.

"They look like they're arguing."

"What are they arguing about, Finn?"

"Well, she's mad at him because they didn't go out on the date they planned yesterday. But he reminds her that the tickets were for an 8:30 show and he showed up at 7:30 so they could get good seats, but she spent ages in the bathroom trying on different dresses and fussing over her makeup and acting like she was the only person in the world, so he bailed on her by 8 when she still didn't show up and called his friend Cassie who doesn't really like shows like that, but will do anything she's never done before, and they had a great night. Now he's telling her off because she not as hot as she thinks she is and she's a real loser for standing him up so he's just going to hit the gym with the guys then waste another night with her. And she's trying to act tough and pretend she's all strong but she knows he's right."

"Wow, such a wonderful imagination."

"He left out the part where she hangs herself after he leaves, unable to bear the world without him." Daria commented again.

"You're so depressing, Daria." Finn criticized.

"Darla, I mean, Daria, what do you see in the picture."

"I see...a pair of two black splotches." Daria commented.

"What do they look like?" Mrs. Manson asked.

"This is that test where the pictures can be anything." Daria replied briefly, not looking at Mrs. Manson or her pictures.

"No, this test is one where the picture is of two people, and you make up what they are speaking about." Mrs. Manson informed.

"That's obvious, Daria." Finn dismissed, and pulled a comb out of his pocket and started to straighten his hair.

"It still looks like that other test. Maybe it's a flock of country bats swarming over a corpse of a horse covered in cupcake frosting." Mrs. Manson winced at the comment. Finn sighed. Daria, however, smiled her first smile of the day.

* * *

Finn was eager to distance himself from Daria once the test was over. As soon as Mrs. Manson dismissed them, he was practically sprinting down the hallway.

"_God, why must she be so infuriatingly annoying. Of all the rotten luck to get her as a sister." _He found his assigned locker and started angrily putting spare notebooks away.

"Hey!" A male voice called over. Finn looked away from his locker to see three guys coming over to him.

"Hey, dudes!" Finn engaged pleasantly.

"You're the new guy everyone's talking about?" One of them, a dark haired kid, asked. Finn nodded.

"I heard you play ball, too." Another, a dark red haired kid with a pierced ear added. Finn nodded again.

"What's your position?" The third, a blonde with a low voice, asked.

"Which ball would that be?" Finn replied.

"Football." Red answered.

"Well, without trying out I really couldn't say what my position is, but my game as a center is great, although I've been known to dabble in the quarterback's boots." Finn shot a smile. To his surprise, all three guys let out sighs of relief.

"Good, then I'm safe." Blondie noted.

"Huh?" Finn asked.

"Dude, you're all the buzz in the school." Red stated. "If you were playing the positions we were good at, we'd be down to second string in no time! And second string is all losers."

"Oh, well, I'm sure it won't be like that. I mean, I haven't even tried out yet." Finn smiled. "You guys are on the team?"

"We're freshmen too, so no." Black Hair noted. "But tryouts are next week."

"Doesn't mean we have to wait to play." Finn noted. "We can always play a game beforehand. See each other's skill."

"That sounds great." Red noted. "My name's Jeffy Mercer."

"Joey Nelson." Black noted.

"I'm..." Blondie started to talk, but another group of people immediately came over to Finn first. A group of three women, all dressed quite fashionably, were approaching. The leader seemed to be a brunette girl with long hair, while the other two: a girl with pigtails and an Asian girl, followed behind her as if following the leader.

"You were right, Sandi!" Pigtails replied enthusiastically. "He is dreamy!"

"Totally...amazing!" The Asian girl replied in a slow tone.

"Girls!" Sandi, the leader, chastised the two before turning her attention to Finn.

"I understand that you are the new boy in town. As President of Lawndale's Fashion Club, I wanted to be the first club to formally welcome you to our school." She delivered formally.

Finn shot the three women a smile, and chuckled a little.

"My name's Finn Morgendorffer. Nice to meet you lovely ladies." At the word lovely, Pigtails seemed to swoon.

"I am Sandi Griffin." Sandi stated. "It is an absolute pleasure to see a man who is handsome and knows how to be stylish."

"Oh, you're too kind." Finn chuckled. "But you are the Fashion Club, so I might as well ask an expert's opinion on a shirt I had bought. I thought it looked good but I can't help but wonder if I chose the wrong color." The three guys stared at Finn strangely for a moment.

"Certainly, that is why we are here. Please, tell me more." Sandi agreed.

"Well, the color is wisteria." Finn noted. "Do you think that's too light? I mean, I don't want to be a ghost or anything." All three women chuckled, while the guys had cocked eyebrows.

"No, certainly not!" Sandi praised. "Wisteria is a fine color for you."

"It goes well with your eyes!" Pigtails immediately perked up.

"Although you are correct, Stacy, I would be more careful about giving your opinion on matching shirts with eyes. After all, didn't you wear that sangria blouse with your brown eyes?" Sandi noted. Stacy whimpered a bit at Sandi's tone, and looked to the ground.

"I still have nightmares of that party." The Asian girl replied. "And your hair that night. Really...inappropriate."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Tiffany." Stacy whimpered again.

"Please do not mind Stacy. She is still very new at fashion, although she takes good notes and takes direction well." Sandi addressed Finn as she handed him a folded piece of paper.

"If you ever have questions regarding fashion, it would be our distinct pleasure to aid you. Call me anytime. Perhaps I can come over to see your wisteria shirt so that we may select an appropriate pair of pants."

"Well, I likes me my camo pants, but I can't help but think it would clash" Finn chuckled, and Sandi smiled as well.

"Here's mine, too!" Stacy eagerly handed Finn a piece of paper. "I know I'm not as good as Sandi is with fashion, but I'm happy to help you."

"Likewise." The Asian girl, whom Stacy called Tiffany, handed yet another piece of paper. "My specialty...is hair." The three women walked down the hallway.

* * *

"What was that word you said? Wis-something?" Joey asked.

"Wisteria? It's a color." Finn replied.

"You know that stuff?" Blondie asked. Finn realized he still didn't say his name.

"Yeah, so?" Finn asked, making sure his tone did not sound like a dare. The three were silent for a moment.

"Anyway, it pays off. Look at that. Three girl's numbers before my first class, and all I needed to do was know a color." Finn waved the pieces of paper like a trophy. "I'll put these away for later." The other three guys were silent for a moment, then they started looking down at their shirts.

"What's the color for this?" Jeffy asked to himself.

"I thought this was just orange." Joey noted.

"Sandi's never given me her number." Blondie said with dismay.

* * *

The first day of class was a nothing. Teachers handed out books and the lesson plan, they started giving lame inspiring speeches, particularly the English teacher, a certain sappy Timothy O'Neill. Finn paid enough attention to know which class was where and who his friends were, but lessons couldn't be further from his mind. While the teacher droned endlessly on whatever it is they were discussing, Finn would busy himself with various other tasks. Some random doodles in his notebooks, flirting and flexing for the various women who chose their seats so he'd be surrounded by them. Between classes, he received many invitations to join some of the girls, but he refused them all, and instead, decided to sit with the guys from the football team he had met earlier.

"Dude, why would you want to sit with us when you've got Ashley Beaker, and Tanya Crawford all up in your space?" Blondie, who soon introduced himself as Jamie White, seemed the most perplexed by Finn's decision.

"Don't like me?" Finn dared. Jamie immediately shook his head in protest, but Finn started to laugh.

"Relax. Teasing. Anyway, that's moving way too fast. You let 'em stew a bit, then they start making the big overtures." Finn laughed. "I mean, one girl asked me for breakfast when I came in today, and I got her to buy it for me. Show a little interest on someone else for a while, and you start raking in the big bucks."

"You mean, you get girls to buy things for you?" Jeffy asked.

"And not for your birthday or anything?" Joey clarified.

"Haven't you ever done something like that for a girl?" Finn asked. "It's just in reverse."

"Dude." Jamie seemed reverent. "I wish I could get them to do that for me. What's your secret?"

"Yeah, c'mon dude, tell me your secret!" Jeffy cheered.

"Not now, not now." Finn laughed. "It's intense training. I'm talking physical conditioning, here. What other teams do you guys play for. I mean, football's only the fall, right? I mean, I'm really into boxing, and it would be nice to have a friend on all my teams."

"I fight." Joey replied. "Never thought of the boxing team, though."

"I do baseball in the spring!" Jeffy eagerly pointed out.

"Perfect!" Finn noted. "I've been looking for an excuse to bring out the glove." The guys started chatting about teams for a while, until Finn noticed a familiar face. The only familiar face he wished he could avoid. Daria was seated all alone, quietly eating while reading some strange book Finn had never heard of.

"Whose that girl?" Jamie noticed Finn's eyes looking at her. "She's a geek."

"Yeah, majorly." Finn agreed. "She just said some nasty things to me earlier today. God, she's such a loser."

"I know. I mean, look at those glasses. It's like a circus." Joey taunted.

"Probably one of those smart-ass brains who thinks they know everything. Try to hide the fact they suck at sports." Jeffy criticized.

"She's not even worth talking to. She's probably got like, weird lopsided boobs." Jamie criticized. Finn grimaced and groaned at the thought of his sister's body, but he continued laughing with his friends and chatting. He hoped that Daria would look at the source of the laughter, and see that her brother, Finn Morgandorffer, whom she always had a nasty word for, was eagerly and cheerfully surrounded by people who worshipped him, while she, like always, walked alone.

* * *

It was difficult to sort through the phone numbers once Finn got home from school. The teachers said the students would need to cover their books with paper, some gave reading assignments for the end of the week, but Finn knew that his priorities were to arrange the phone numbers he had been given in his Rolodex.

"_You could just get me a cell phone, Mom." _He thought. "_Then you'd be free to chat up your lawerly ways and we'd never have to speak to each other." _Sorting the guys was easy, it just went by last name. Girls, though, had a tier first group of numbers were for wealthy and popular girls who would be hosting the best parties and could get the best gifts. Those would be retained. The second was for cheerleaders, female athletes, and the club girls, like the three from the Fashion Club. Those would also be stationed in the Rolodex, but unlike the wealthy girls, they would probably not get his number. The third was for brains. He'd never date or even associate with brains, but academic probation prevented playing on a team and Finn had to make sure all contingencies were worked out in case that happened. Missing a game was anathema. And the last was ugly girls or ones with no redeeming features whatsoever. They were discarded to the trash, never to be remembered again.

As soon as he finished, he descended down for dinner. The rest of the family was already there as his mother, Helen Morgandorffer, removed the tray of lasagna from the oven. It was a good meal, since carbs were high-energy, but it was the only thing his family ever really ate. Helen never had time to make a proper meal since she was too busy working, while his father, who was self-employed, worked irregularly, and wasn't a good cook to boot.

"How was your first day of school, sport?" Jake eagerly put down his newspaper and smiled at Finn.

"Well, let's see. Coach Gibson put me on the varsity team pretty much as soon as I met him, boxing starts in November, and I think I'm going to choose baseball in the spring."

"That's my slugger!" Jake cheered. "What position are you going to play in football?"

"Well, I'm the center for now. That might change depending on how good the quarterback is."

"That's fantastic, dear." Helen replied. "What about clubs or academic groups? You know, the best colleges look for well-rounded extracurricular activities."

"Dad, did you find those batting cages like we talked about?" Finn ignored his mother.

"Sorry, son, I was too busy networking today. Gotta build my client base that way." Jake was genuinely apologetic.

"It's all right, dad." Finn said warmly to his father. "I'll ask Jeffy tomorrow. If you're not working Saturday, dad, maybe we can hit some balls together? And hey, we do good, maybe the owner of the place will hire you for a campaign."

"That's great!" Jake cheered.

"Finn." Helen's tone became lower, angry was she at being ignored. "What about clubs?"

"Mom, I spent all day meeting everyone and figuring out which teams to play for, I didn't have time to look into clubs. Besides, I probably won't have time with all the practices and stuff. This is varsity, Mom, varsity!"

"What about you, Daria?" Helen turned to her daughter, who was silent the entire time.

"Oh please, what could she possibly have done that was interesting." Finn criticized. "Trip and fall?" Daria scowled.

"Well, my history class is full of a bunch of idiots, and my biology class is worse." Daria replied.

"Of course. Leave it to Daria to just blast people before she talks to them." Finn dismissed.

"Daria, we're not in Highland anymore." Helen lectured. "This is a new school, so why don't you try to make a friend or two."

"Because it would require her to actually be nice to people." Finn asided.

"Finn!" Helen's eyes darted back to her son.

"I'm sure Finn will make enough needless friendships for the both of us." Daria commented.

"Needless? There's never an excuse not to be popular."

"I'm sure Chairman Mao agrees with you."

"You see!" Finn excitedly cheered, not getting the reference. "Whose Chairman Mao?" He quickly asked his father. The phone rang, and Helen excused herself to answer it.

"If it's for me, I'll take it upstairs." Finn noted, but Helen did not answer as she listened to the phone.

"Who was that?" Finn asked as she hung up. "It better not have been for me."

"You two took a psychological test at school today?"

"Hey, they weren't supposed to be graded! And it's not fair to spring surprise tests on the new kid. I mean, I'm only human!" Finn moaned.

"Finn, hush." Helen ordered. "Daria, the school psychiatrist called. It seems they've looked at your assessment."

"Finally, someone other then me notices she's insane. Ship her to the looney bin, don't take it personally if I don't come to visit." Finn was surprisingly cheerful at the idea.

"It just wouldn't be the same without you." Daria noted without a hint of emotion.

"Enough." Helen silenced the feuding siblings.

"What happened with the test, honey?" Jake asked his wife.

"It seems Daria has low self-esteem."

* * *

"Low self-esteem?" Jake puzzled after swallowing his forkful of lasagna.

"Oh, Daria, how many times must we tell you that you're special and wonderful. You never believe us, do you?" Helen started to lecture.

"Come on." Finn derided. "What's so special about her anyway?"

"Finn!" Helen was quick to criticize.

"I mean it. Seriously, she's ugly, she's not popular, she's as pleasant as a rabid..." Finn started to trail off.

"Not another word, young man!" Helen was angry.

"My poor self-esteem." Daria noted sarcastically. "And you wonder why it's low."

"I put up with all the crap you say and I did fine.. It is just you." Finn stared at Daria from across the table.

"Finn!" Helen yelled again. Jake looked like he was about to say something too, but the raised voices caused him to become meek as a kitten, and he shrunk a little in his seat and ate some more lasagna.

"What, Mom?" Finn challenged. "I'm telling the truth. You've heard how nasty she is."

"We're not dealing with Daria's attitude now, we're dealing with her self-confidence."

"I believe in myself just fine." Daria stated. "I just don't believe in others. Case in point, Finn."

"And you're just going to let her get away with saying stuff like that, aren't you?" Finn challenged his mother.

"Don't you talk back to me, young man." Helen angrily stated. "Or else I won't be held responsible for what happens to your Rolodex."

"Taking Daria's side again. What a surprise. She's has problems because she's such a loser and all of a sudden it's my fault. Ugh. Don't bother grounding me, I'm leaving." Finn angrily got up in a huff. The family heard him head upstairs to his room. Helen growled a bit, and then took a seat at the table.

* * *

"Now listen, Daria." Helen took a deep breath. "They want you to take a special class for a couple of weeks and then they'll test you again." Daria shrugged. She knew she didn't really have a choice in the matter.

"Kiddo, you know we all think you're great." Jake tried to encourage his daughter.

"Finn might disagree." Daria stated.

"Seriously, what is wrong with that boy." Helen murmured quietly, but both Daria and Jake heard her.

"Honey." Jake seemed to disapprove of his wife's statement, but one look from Helen shut him up quickly.

"Sweetie, don't worry about Finn, I'll have a talk with him after dinner." Helen stated. "But I want you to take the self-esteem course and tell us what your teacher says. After all, your self-esteem will do a lot for you when you're a professional woman in the working world." Helen started to eat her lasagna again. The meal was quiet now, as the three remaining family members quietly and neatly ate the rest of their meal.

"_And to think." _Daria thought. "_All Finn had to do was disappear. Even he could do it." _

_

* * *

_

A half hour after dinner, Helen marched up to her son's room.

"Finn!" Helen's voice was quick and terse, but not angry, as she called while knocking on the door.

"The door's open." Finn's voice sounded, but the music did not shut off. Helen opened the door to find that her son had changed into gym shorts and was doing elevated push-ups while loud music blared from his stereo. His workout routine after dinner was intense and routine. Any night he was home he performed such a ritual.

"What is it?" Finn did not stop working out. These lectures between mother and son were almost as common as his evening exercise. It was always the same thing, for the most part.

"Finn, I'm talking. There'll be time to exercise later." Helen commanded. Finn sighed, then stopped. He went over to the stereo and shut it off, and then grabbed a towel and paid attention to his mother. Helen took a seat on his bed.

"What?" Finn did not try to disguise his annoyance.

"Listen, Finn, I'm being serious here. It's not easy to work a full-time job and then come home and get a call regarding your daughter's self-esteem. Can't you try to be nicer to your sister."

"I'm nicer to her than she is to me." Finn challenged, his standard tone with his mother.

"Finn." Helen was losing her patience. "This is serious. Confidence and self-esteem is important for a girl her age."

"I guess it's not important for me then." Finn derided.

"The psychiatrist said you didn't have that problem." Helen clarified.

"Did you ask her?" Finn challenged again. He was sitting there when Helen received the call, and never did he hear his name. Helen hesitated, and realized she would not win that argument.

"So why are you here? Daria's room is down the hall. Go talk to her about her own self-esteem. She's probably just faking it anyway to torture me."

"Finn, it shouldn't be torture to be nice to your siblings." Helen tried to encourage.

"You know, Mom, you're right. I'm gonna call Aunt Rita and tell her that." Finn forced a smile on his face. Helen scowled at his use of the "R" word.

"Finn, if you plan on going to any parties at all this year, you're going to help Daria until her self-esteem gets better." Helen delivered an ultimatum.

"Fifty." Finn stated.

"Ten." Helen countered.

"Twenty."

"Done." Helen reached into her pocket and pulled out a crisp new twenty-dollar bill. Finn took the bill eagerly and put in on his desk, his shorts not having the pockets for it.

"Fine." Finn sighed. "Now I've gotta finish my workout." He wiped the sweat from his chest before putting the stereo back on and starting on his squats.

* * *

At breakfast the next day, Finn sat at the table eating a bowl of cereal when Daria entered. It was just a little before 7, so Helen had already left for work, while Jake was still sleeping soundly, and would probably be up soon enough.

"And how's your self-esteem today?" Finn mocked his sister. Daria ignored him as she prepared some Sugar Tarts. A tense silence soon followed between the two of them as they ate or waited for breakfast, a silence that was familiar to both siblings. A silence that lasted until Finn finished his food and washed his bowl in the sink.

"Try not to bum the other kids out in depression class!" He mocked again as he headed out the door.

"_Nice. Just like I said, Mom." _Finn laughed to himself as he grabbed his backpack and walked to school. Once he arrived, the three guys he had met yesterday: Jamie, Joey, and Jeffy, all came over to greet him.

"Yo!" Joey smiled, eager to see him again.

"Hey, I was hoping I'd run into you guys here." Finn eagerly smiled at them. "Jeffy, you play baseball, right? Know any batting cages nearby?"

"Yeah! Why don't we head there after school today?" Jeffy offered.

"Sounds great!" Finn agreed. "And hey, since I'm asking about places nearby, know of any shooting ranges?"

"I do." Joey noted.

"This day gets better and better. What about you, Jamie, you know of anything fun?"

"I'm great at the arcade." He answered.

"Perfect." Finn chuckled. "Wow, we all have the same interests. This is going to be an awesome year, I just know it."

"You're such an awesome guy, Finn." Jamie noted. "I hope we all make varsity at tryouts tomorrow."

"I'm sure we will. Then we can bring home State our very first year here. Set the bar high." Finn was eager and jovial, eager to take his mind off of Daria and his mother, the two who always seemed to turn his days gray. Daria was just whiny, mopey, and depressing. She thought she was so great because she did well at school, but a truly smart person would know that people with gloomy attitudes like hers got gloomy attitudes in return. And she was always home after school, so that meant it was a place to avoid. Many interests, many reprieves. Many friends, many partners.

"After the cages, let's toss the pigskin around. I'm sure we'll all become varsity players, but we won't by slacking around."

"Sounds awesome!" Joey eagerly agreed as the four men walked to their homeroom.

* * *

The only downside to the first week of school was that teachers starting teaching after the first day.

History class was primarily insufferable. The teacher, a Mr. DeMartino, seemed to be an extremely tense individual who harbored an irrational dislike for everyone in the classroom.

"And so, class, which among you can tell us one of the many reasons why World War I started?" Mr. DeMartino had a strange method of talking, stressing syllables in seemingly random intervals.

"What about you, son." He pointed in the back of the room towards Joey.

"Ummm...Hitler! Hitler started it!" Joey stated.

"That was a different World War, son. In fact, I would think that even elementary school students could remember that Adolf Hitler was during the Second World War!"

"Oh yeah." Joey noted. "Sorry, I got nothing." Mr. DeMartino seemed to grumble a little.

"What about you?" He stood in front of Finn's desk, and bent down so the two were at eye level.

"Hey, no fair, I'm new here." Finn protested.

"Life's not fair, sonny boy. Now straighten up and answer the question!"

"You gotta lay off the cigarettes, your breath reeks, dude." Finn fanned his face. The other students laughed at his insult.

"Tell me something, son. You think that when you're making six figures for posing on billboards advertising Monday Night Football, you can make time to visit your history teacher, and spot him a can of Sterno since his heat was turned off?"

"Ummm...sure. I'll even sign it for you!" Finn stated cheerfully. He knew what Sterno was, but had no idea how it would relate to Mr. DeMartino.

"Son, do you know why we take history class?" Mr. DeMartino asked.

"Lousy statewide requirements?" Finn asked.

"Your correct, yet utterly inappropriate answer amuses me. I hope it will keep me warm until you bring me that can of Sterno!"

* * *

Although Finn's other classes, particularly biology with Janet Barch, were quite ulcer-inducing, Finn managed to get through the day. He had a few more phone numbers to inventory, but that could wait for now. School was over, and there were things to do. Everyone was to meet at Jeffy's house, where they'd hit a few rounds at the batting cages. There weren't enough people to play a football game with, but throwing passes and a few drills were a good way to hone skills with those problems. Then pizza. By then, it would be very late. There'd be enough time for exercise, then bed. Homework could be done in homeroom.

The entire week ran like this. Finn was avoiding the house with a passion. At least this way, his mother could not yell at him for hurting Daria's self-esteem, however pathetic that was. Daria was probably faking it, but even if she wasn't, what difference would it make. She wouldn't stop being a loser unless she changed everything about herself, how she felt about herself wouldn't change that. A loser was a loser.

But there was something different about her when Finn saw her leaving school that Thursday. She was talking with someone. Someone was actually talking to Daria, and Daria was talking back. Someone her own age. A friend. Finn had to pinch himself to make sure he was not dreaming.

The girl Daria was talking with was very tall, with black hair. She was moderately attractive, but dressed so frumpily in a garish red and black ensemble that Finn would normally never associate with her. Finn briefly considered following them. The other guys had things to do today, so he had no one to hang out with. It was too early to call a girl; dating on the first week was a sign of weakness and desperation. So Finn had little choice but to head back home. He worked out until dinner.

Finn wanted to monopolize the conversation, but that would mean speaking to his mother. There was no way that was going to happen. He tried to talk to his father about everything that happened this week: football, the range, the batting cages. Jake sucked up each and every bit of the conversation, asking various questions, being every bit the involved parent.

"That's so great, Finn." Jake praised. "You found all those things in just one week. And you've made three really great friends, and I'm sure once football starts, you'll make many more."

"And then there's the girls from the Fashion Club. I don't think I'd date them, but they know how to look good. I mean, there was this girl I saw earlier in this absolutely hideous red blouse, black skirt and thigh-high boots. I mean, total blech!" Finn casually insulted the wardrobe of the girl that he had seen talking to Daria. She'd probably know to whom he was referring; no one else could clash that badly.

"Daria, how is the self-esteem class coming?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"They told us to discover things in our past that made us feel worse about ourselves, and remove them from our lives." Daria answered. Finn thought a perfect retort to that, but he bit his tongue and let it go. He didn't want another lecture.

"Well, isn't that great." Jake replied.

"What are you going to remove?" Helen asked.

"Can we put Finn up for adoption?" Daria stated, looking directly at her brother when she said it. Finn kicked her under the table.

"Now, Daria." Helen was very mild with her, which filled Finn with rage. Every time he taunted Daria, he got yelled at for being mean, or insensitive. She was just cautioned.

"They also said to recreate scenes from our childhood which brought us great joy." Daria continued.

"That sounds inspiring. What scene were you thinking of?" Helen asked.

"That time when Finn was punched unconscious by Brick Walton and had to go to the hospital. How many stitches was it again?"

"That was a cheap shot!" Finn defended. "I could've taken him."

"Well, too bad. And I was really starting to feel my self-esteem rise earlier today." Daria dismissed.

"Oh my." Helen placed her hand to her chest.

"I'm feeling my self-esteem fall too. I mean, Daria says such mean things." Finn stated in a sarcastic tone, although he was deadly serious about his accusations toward Daria.

"That's not funny, Finn." Helen dismissed, yet again.

"Then I'm finished eating." Finn sighed and went upstairs to his room. Soon the loud music was playing again, and he had started another exercise routine.

* * *

"Daria, do you think you can follow those things the teacher told you without injuring, abandoning, or murdering your brother?" Helen asked.

"They said make us happy. Finn not being around makes me happy." Daria returned.

"Daria, you were only one year old when Finn was born. You don't remember life before he was around."

"But I know what it's like when I don't see him. Give it a try, you'll like it too."

"Daria, that's kind of harsh." Jake stated.

"I mean, Daria, you can't begrudge Finn for existing." Helen said derisively. "Perhaps if you found a friend or two, you'd be able to do more things then sit in your room."

"I did meet a friend in my self-esteem class." Daria noted.

"That's incredible!" Jake praised.

"I told you it could be done." Helen was equally as joyful.

"I suppose Finn's out twenty bucks for that bet, then." Daria commented.

"Daria." Helen shot her another glare. "Can we get back on the topic of your new friend? You said she's in the self-esteem class too. Perhaps becoming friends will help you feel better about yourselves."

"Maybe. But perhaps when you see how we can convert Finn's room into a home office, you'll consider the adoption thing." Daria smiled.

* * *

Helen sighed for a moment as she removed her earrings before heading to bed.

"What's wrong, honey?" Jake, already in bed, asked supportively. "Are you still worried about Daria?"

"It's both of them, Jake." Helen glumly admitted. Normally, she wouldn't dare admit aloud that her children stressed her. Only to her husband, who shared raising them, at least in theory, could she say something to.

"Both of them? What happened to Finn?" Jake seemed concerned.

"You try to instill values into them, and they just don't want to listen." Helen ignored his question. The problem with one child was the same problem with the other with a few proper noun changes. Neither Daria nor Finn listened to her. It was a brutal slap to the face to receive the call from the counselor about Daria's self-esteem, despite all the messages Helen had given her about taking pride in her accomplishments, and that she was special.

There had been no shortage of calls from different therapists from the different schools Daria had attended, claiming she didn't interact with the other children to some rather violent stories she had written, to her confrontations with several teachers. Although Helen was proud of her daughter's strong sense of justice, and that she was unafraid as a woman to stand up to even the toughest men, but she refused to interact and improve her social skills. She hadn't had even one friend before Daria delivered the announcement this evening, and Helen hadn't even met her yet. Who knew what kind of person she would be?

"_And Finn..."_ Helen glumly thought of her other child. He was the most outgoing and energetic child ever since he was very young. He made friends with practically everyone in a very short period of time, and it was astonishing to see how seamlessly he blended into moving to Lawndale.

But Finn's grades were pathetic, by Helen's standards. Straight C's, at best, and he could certainly do better if he tried, which he wouldn't. He only cared about parties, the latest sports game, and his personal vanity was astounding, spending even longer then Helen herself to get ready in the morning.

* * *

Helen knew, more then anything, that siblings fought. She had two other sisters, and the fights between them were legendary, at least they were with her older sister, Rita. Even more shallow and narcissistic than Finn, Rita never worked a day in her life, clinging to rich men like a wet towel. Ever since Finn starting going through puberty and started his seductive attitude, Helen had been trying to make sure he didn't end up like Rita.

"_Like I'd give the bitch the pleasure." _She thought bitterly. Daria and Finn may not have fought as often, but they certainly were as bitter to each other, as Rita was to her. Despite all her desires not to, Finn was becoming the person she despised most. The fact that Finn was her son was heartbreaking.

"Honey?" Jake asked. Helen realized she had not addressed him in her thoughts.

"I think tomorrow I'll take an early day and spend time with Daria." Helen stated. Finn would have to wait; Daria's self-esteem, new friend or not, was more important than toning down his narcissism. Helen hated the idea of prioritizing between her two children, but she had to make a good impression on Eric Schrecter, her new boss, and with Daria having trouble adjusting, Finn would have to take the back burner this time. There was only so much she could do.

"_I'm sorry, Finn." _She privately thought the apology she would never say aloud. Concentrating on Daria's attitude and the calls from the counselors her whole life often made Helen worry that Finn might feel left out. But he had all his friends at school, and Jake's level of involvement with him was phenomenal, even if Jake couldn't handle the tougher issues due to his meekness. Even now, Helen still blushed when she had to step in the time Finn needed the talk about his first erection. But despite all that, Helen still wondered, although she didn't want to believe, if Finn ever felt abandoned by his mother.

* * *

The weekend couldn't come soon enough for Finn. Finally, enough time to do all the things he really wanted to do. He made his entire game plan during the week so that, once Friday's school day ended, he wouldn't have to be home unless he was sleeping. He didn't accept any dates, but he did ask the three girls from the Fashion Club to give him advice regarding his hair. This was a new town, Finn had informed them, and he wanted a new style. Sandi, the leader of the group, was only too happy to accept, and offered her house for the matter. She also asked him to bring his swim trunks, as she had a new hot tub installed and was eager to take it for a test run when they were finished.

Aside from that, he was meeting Tanya Crawford for coffee, which wasn't a date, Finn reasoned, as there was no food involved. Finn also planned another football game, where he planned on meeting Kevin Thompson, who was apparently the varsity quarterback, and Michael MacKenzie, who was the captain of the team. Finn reminded himself to make a good impression on the captain, who was only one grade ahead, and would probably remain in such a position barring some catastrophic injury, Heaven forbid. Between that friendship and honing his skills at the game, he'd make varsity for sure.

Finn was in a very good mood as he headed home, but it nearly evaporated when he reached the house and saw that his mother's car was in the driveway.

"_It's 3. What on Earth is she doing home? Did her office burn down? No, she'd be at the courthouse with paperwork if that happened."_He thought. He opened the door to find Helen seated in the living room. She stood up when she heard the door open, but she seemed almost disappointed when she learned it was her son walking through the door.

"_I still exist. Sorry." _Finn thought bitterly at his mother. Aside from Daria, Helen Morgandorffer was the only one who could evoke bitter thoughts from him.

"Hello, Finn."

"Hi, Mom. You're home early." Finn knew that whatever reason she had decided to take a rare snow day, it had nothing to do with him. Maybe she wanted to spend the day with Daria working on her self-esteem.

"_Another excuse for Daria to bitch about me." _He thought.

"Yes, well, it's a long story, Finn." Helen remarked.

"I'm just going to go change. I've made plans, don't wait up." Finn said while heading up the stairs.

"Don't be out too late now." Helen instructed.

"Yeah, yeah." Finn disappeared up the stairs. Finn changed and scooped up his trunks before heading back downstairs. While there, he noticed that Daria had arrived home. She was talking with Helen in the living room, and that black-and-red clad girl from the school was with her.

"So you're one of Daria's friends." Helen was animated and pleasant with the new girl, the way she always was when she met new people.

"My name's Jane." The girl replied. Her tone wasn't as flat as Daria's was, but she certainly had the flavor of a cynic.

"Oh, Finn, there you are. I didn't know you had left yet. Come here."

"I gotta run, Mom. Sandi's expecting me."

"I thought you didn't have a date tonight."

"It's not a date, it's a hair appointment." Finn noted.

"Anyway, this is Daria's friend, Jane. They met at school earlier in the week. This is Finn, Daria's younger brother." Helen introduced. The corners of Jane's mouth twitched only slightly at the introduction.

"Well, Daria and I were going to have a mother-daughter bonding day." Helen explained. Daria appeared to be vehemently against the idea.

"Oh yeah, you did mention that." Finn played along, smirking at Daria's suffering.

"Well, I'll be going then." Jane had very little manners, but she walked to the door without another word, and left the house.

"She seems nice enough." Helen commented. She and Daria started bantering a bit about Jane, but Finn had his own thoughts. Although Jane's face wasn't very expressive, she did seem to smile at Finn, which wasn't surprising. Most girls smiled when they saw someone with his looks. At least they did if they liked guys.

"_Shall I break your heart, Daria?" _Finn thought with an evil smile. _"Your first friend choosing your brother over you? It seems fitting. You always make me suffer your indignities, try to tell them embarrassing stories about me. Time to show you who how the game is really played." _

_

* * *

_

Sandi Griffin's house was a very nice little home. When Finn rang the doorbell, the door was answered by an older woman. Her mother, most likely.

"You must be Finn. Sandi mentioned she'd be having a friend over today. I'm Linda Griffin, it's nice to meet you. Come on in, let me get her." Finn noted to himself that Linda Griffin was very much like his mother. There was the same hollow words, the same posturing. Someone who was used to competition with others, and using whatever tricks were necessary to come out on top. Finn took a seat in the living room, where two young boys seemed to be engaged in a video game.

"You're doing it all wrong!" One said to the other. "You're supposed to aim for the head!" The two had light guns plugged in and appeared to be engaged in a shooter.

"You shoot like a blind old lady!" The other insulted.

"You boys both shoot like kids." Finn stopped their feuding.

"Who are you?" One of them asked.

"When you're fighting that boss, you aim for the wrists of the creature so it can't attack you." Finn instructed. The two boys quickly returned to their game following his advice, and found the strategy was working well.

"Hey, thanks!" One of the boys said. Finn chuckled to himself as the boys returned to their game.

"Ah, Finn, there you are." Sandi descended the stairs. "I hope that my brothers haven't said anything to upset you."

"Ah, not at all." Finn smiled at her. "Shall we begin? Where are Stacy and Tiffany?"

"They'll be here shortly. It seems punctuality is something I must address at the next Fashion Club meeting. Come, let us go upstairs while we wait." Sandi escorted him upstairs to her room. She was definitely taking Finn's request seriously; mirrors were set up almost like a salon.

"You've got a lot of products here." Finn noted.

"You never know when a fashion crisis will arise and need to be corrected. You seem to know your brands well. I take it you visit the spa often." Sandi asked.

"Well, I don't get like, manicures or anything. But you know something I really like, the paraffin wax."

"You're kidding, that is my favorite part of a spa date." Sandi eagerly agreed with him. "The feeling of smoothness when it is finished is worth every penny."

"Well then, I'm sure you know where the good ones are. Let me know when we're done so I can write it down. And hey, I'm sure I can introduce my father to him. He's a marketing consultant, and we can usually get a lot of great discounts from his clients."

"That is an incredible idea." Sandi agreed.

"But, business before pleasure." Finn steered the conversation. "Well, you can see how long and the style of my hair. What do you think would be a great new look going into the football season?" Finn and Sandi discussed hair for a moment, only to be interrupted by the entrance of Stacy and Tiffany.

"Oh, you're already here!" Stacy seemed remorseful.

"So nice of you two to attend. I thought I was quite clear we were to meet at 4:00." Sandi lectured.

"But Sandi, you said to meet at..." Stacy started.

"Gee, Stacy, I'm pretty sure I know what came out of my own mouth. Besides, you both know that the truly fashionable arrive early for their hair appointments. Creating art is a timely procedure." Sandi quickly silenced Stacy's outburst.

"I've thought...of a few ideas." The three girls started deliberating with Finn. Eventually, they decided to spike his hair upward.

"Fantastic!" Sandi praised.

"My best work." Tiffany stated.

"You look even more handsome, Finn." Stacy said pleasantly.

"Now, let's test out that new hot tub." Sandi stated. "Stacy, please escort Finn to the bathroom where he can change."

"Hot tub? I didn't know you installed that yet, Sandi." Stacy remarked. "I wish I had brought my bikini."

"Gee, Stacy, I would have thought my talk about the hot tub being finished on Thursday would tell you it would be ready for Friday." Sandi lectured again.

"Yeah, Stacy. It's that simple." Tiffany stated. Stacy let out another defeated whimper, and led Finn to the bathroom.

* * *

Hot tubs, pools, and other things usually meant only one thing for Finn; girls staring at him as he took his shirt off. It was one of his surefire ways to get the attention of a girl who thought she was playing hard-to-get. Sometimes, Finn even wore his shirt inside-out on purpose to school in order to change it quickly in the hallway in front of the girl he wanted to melt into butter.

"_Only thing better are those shiny black boxers." _He thought to himself. It was so simple to make them eat out of the palm of his hand. Finn wondered if Sandi would get her mother to obtain two certificates to the spa for a paraffin wax and massage. A free day at the spa was an effective gift.

* * *

Most of the people who showed up for the football game on Saturday were people Finn already knew. Most of them were freshmen, and Finn couldn't help but wonder if this was something the captain set up in order to see the new talent for himself before tryouts started. If it was true, then the captain must have been ingenious.

The guys started a few drills and warmed up before Jamie pointed out that the captain and the quarterback had both arrived. The quarterback was already wearing his shoulder pads and uniform, while the captain was dressed in civilian clothes.

"Hey there." Finn turned his best smile. "You must be Michael MacKenzie, the captain of the team."

"That's right. You can just call me Mack." The captain was impeccably polite.

"And I'm the QB." The quarterback stated. "I'm Kevin!" Kevin was overly enthusiastic about his position.

"I'm Finn Morgendorffer. I moved here recently." Finn introduced very formally. Mack was very polite, which meant he noticed politeness.

"Morgendorffer...that last name is familiar." Mack tilted his head and started to think a moment. That's when Finn realized that he would be in the same grade and classes as Daria. The absolute last thing he needed was that unpopular wretch ruining his chances on the football team.

"I've heard other people with that last name too. Must be common." Finn chuckled nervously. Mack cocked an eyebrow at his behavior, but did not press the issue.

"What position are you, captain?" Finn asked.

"You don't need to call me captain, this isn't an official game." Mack was extremely polite and humble, and that made Finn relax a little more. The quarterback seemed full of himself, and it would have been tough to make a good impression if the captain was as well.

"Time to show this freshman how real ball is played." Kevin cheered, and went over to the guys, who had all lined up.

"Everyone line up alphabetically by height!" Kevin stated with a shout. The freshmen all started looking at each other strangely. Mack groaned.

"_Now's my chance." _Finn thought.

"Um...Kevin, what difference does alphabetical make? Our last names just go on our jerseys." Finn remarked. Several of the freshmen started chuckling. Mack looked at Finn for a moment and starting pondering something

"_Hope that's a good sign." _Finn thought.

"Hey, what gives!" Kevin seemed upset that Finn called him out on that. "What are you, Finn, a Professor Aldert Epsteam?" Kevin mispronounced the name of the famous scientist. Mack and Finn both winced.

"I think my brain collapsed on itself a little from that one." Mack noted quietly, although Finn heard him. As the game started, Finn started to wonder whether taking the quarterback's reigns would be more beneficial for the team.

Finn wished that the weekend would have lasted forever. But, sure enough, the school week rolled around. Another boring week of stupid crap that Finn would forget the second after the test ended. If it wasn't for all his friends at the school, there'd be absolutely no reason to enjoy school. The second week of school progressed much like the first one, although the teachers started getting serious with their assignments. Finn groaned at the thought of reading Shakespeare. The "Immortal Bard" as the sappy Mr. O'Neill stated, did not justify his following with his plays.

"_Maybe they were famous back then. Now it's just dry dusty words." _Finn groaned as he put away his copy of _Macbeth. _

_

* * *

_

Football tryouts were on Thursday, but on that day, a surprise assembly was announced.

"_Oh yeah, getting out of Barch's class." _Finn thought to himself with glee. That science teacher seemed to dislike all of the males, but especially Finn, with a passion. There was no point in even trying in that class, Finn thought. She'd just fail him anyway. She was one of those bitter divorced women who blamed her husband and all males to distract everyone from her own pathetic failures. Any day where Barch's class was cut was fine with Finn.

Mr. O'Neill was on the stage, and he was talking about self-esteem.

"_As if I need to hear that word again." _Finn groaned. But, to his horror, he noticed some of the other students on the stage, and saw Daria and that friend of hers, Jane, seated on the stage. Were they going to speak?

"_They better not." _Finn thought.

"Who cares about this stupid assembly." Jeffy rolled his eyes. "We don't have bad self-esteem, we weren't in the class."

"They passed it in one week." Joey noted.

"It's just stupid they call an assembly for this." Jamie noted. Finn agreed. Barch's class was only slightly worse then this.

"And now." Mr O'Neill started speaking again. "Let's hear it for Daria Morgendorffer!" Mr. O'Neill applauded, the only person who actually did so, as Daria went up to the podium.

"_Oh, dear God, she gonna bad mouth us all again." _Finn thought.

"I just want to say that it's great to feel good about myself." Daria stated. Those were, without a doubt, the most optimistic words that ever came out of her mouth.

"Hey, that girl's last name is Morgendorffer." Joey noted.

"That's your last name, isn't it, Finn?" Jeffy asked. Finn tried to ignore the question.

"I couldn't have gained such a powerful image of myself without all of those who helped me. Most important, I'd like to thank my little brother, Finn Morgendorffer, who told me that I am great just the way I am. Where are you, little bro? Stand up and let everyone see who the real inspiration is!" Daria had a fake smile on her face as she made her speech.

"That girl is your sister?" Jamie asked. All three of Finn's best friends stared in open-gaped amazement at Finn. Other members of the crowd, recognizing Finn's name, stared to stare at him. Finn could feel himself blushing, wishing fervently he could disappear into the floorboards. He looked at Daria up on the stage, and saw the immense fake smile on her lips.

"_That's it, kid gloves are off__! __We'll see just how you like it when I make your life a living Hell__!" _


	2. Let's Get Physicals

Football tryouts were actually two hours after school, so Finn had time to head home first. Not to his surprise, Daria was not at home. She would not be around to make herself a target for a while, and Finn could only seethe with fury at her performance today.

"_She only did that to make me angry." _Finn reasoned. They had barely spoken to each other this past week, and Daria would never genuinely praise Finn in front of other people. She wouldn't genuinely praise him in private, or anyone else for that matter. Daria was nothing more then an arrogant mean bitch who lived to torture him.

But he tried to dispel those thoughts. Today was Wednesday. In addition to football tryouts, Aunt Rita had returned from France earlier this afternoon, and he couldn't wait to call her. Rita was his mother's older sister, and without a doubt, and probably the only member of his bloodline he could consider a confidant besides his dad, but talking to Jake Morgendorffer didn't always go over well, due to his eccentric quirks.

* * *

He wasted no time dialing the phone as soon as he got to his room.

"Hello?" Aunt Rita's voice came on the phone.

"Hey, Aunt Rita, it's Finn!" Finn immediately felt better after hearing her voice on the phone. Aunt Rita just had this magic way of making Finn feel better the second he talked to her. Not only that, but she was fashionable, friendly, and really understood him. By the time Rita had replied and told Finn she was happy to hear from him, he had almost forgotten about Daria humiliating him.

"How was the Mediterranean?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"Oh, fantastic. The sunsets were so lovely, and the food is divine. Next time you see it, gets crepes Suzette. You'd be in Heaven." Rita sounded very happy with herself.

"Get yourself one of those couture gowns? I know you had your eye on them." Finn chuckled.

"Actually, I decided against it." Rita replied. "Instead, I found the greatest little gift for you. I just shipped it this morning."

"Aw, you didn't need to do that, Aunt Rita." Finn replied. "I'm just happy you had a great time over there."

"All the same, just a little gift to help ease the struggle of moving. Has to be hard when you're in high school."

"Not too bad, made a lot of friends. Football tryouts are tonight, although they already extended me a position on varsity when I met the Coach." Finn was proud.

"That's fantastic. I'd love to come and see a game."

"I'll make sure to give you a schedule, then." Finn was glad he was sitting on his bed. If he was standing, his legs might have quivered a bit at the show of familial support. Back in Highland, it was hard for Aunt Rita to make a trip all the way out. Lawndale was still about a five hour drive from where Aunt Rita lived, but Aunt Rita had expressed to Finn when she first learned of the move that Lawndale was not so far that she couldn't make an extended weekend visit.

"And what about the women, Finn?" Rita teased playfully. "Meet any pretty girls."

"Lots of pretty girls here, although I think they could all benefit from a lesson from you, Aunt Rita." Finn flirted playfully, as he always did with his aunt. Rita laughed.

"Lots of girls asked me on dates, but it's too early to go on one. And, well, there's this group of girls, the Lawndale Fashion Club."

"Fashion Club? They didn't have one of those when I went to school."

"Huh? That was what, ten years ago?" Aunt and nephew both laughed.

"Well, the President of the group is named Sandi. She's kinda Queen Bee, you know. Then there's Tiffany, thought never stays in her head longer than a few seconds. And the last one is...ah...Stacy." Finn started to report. When he reached Stacy, however, his collar felt a little tight.

"I heard you gulp, Finn." Rita teased again. "Come on, tell me about Stacy."

"It's not what you think, Aunt Rita, it's not." Finn felt himself getting a little nervous, and was glad he wasn't face-to-face with his aunt right now.

"Then what is it?" Rita asked.

"Well, I mean, the girls spiked my hair earlier and we talked a bit, and well...she's nice."

"She's nice?"

"Well, I mean, she, ah...this is embarrassing." Finn's face was bright red. "It's just...you know, I don't know. I don't want to date her or anything, but, she's cool. Like you."

"Make sure you call about your schedule. I'll have to meet her for myself." Aunt Rita laughed again.

"How's your father?" Rita asked.

"We're going to hit the batting cages this weekend again. I think if we go there a lot, the manager will meet us, and maybe Dad can get a new client. That's how it works, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure." Rita admitted. "But it really does make me glad that you're adjusting to the move well."

"Thanks, Aunt Rita. How's Erin?"

"Erin's fine, not much has changed with her."

"Did Brian pop the question?" Finn asked of Rita's daughter and her fiancé.

"Well..." Aunt Rita trailed off. Finn always had the suspicion that his aunt did not like her daughter's boyfriend. But Finn had never met Brian, and it had been a while since he had seen Erin. Perhaps this was something he was better off less involved in. At least until Aunt Rita was around in person.

"If it does happen, you'll definitely be a groomsman though. Make sure you pick out your father's tuxedo." She cautioned. Finn laughed.

"And how about Roger?" Finn asked.

"You know him, always in the sky." Rita laughed. "Well, Finn, I imagine you have to head to tryouts now." Finn looked at the clock.

"Wow, 30 minutes." Finn remarked. "I should get there soon."

"Thank you for calling, sweetie." Rita replied. "I've sent some pictures for your mother along with that gift I got you."

"I'll be waiting. Love you, Aunt Rita. Say hi to Erin for me."

"Love you too, Finn." Finn hung up the phone, and, for the first time since Daria had humiliated him, he had a smile on his face.

* * *

Finn didn't understand why his family didn't like Aunt Rita. Of course, Daria was unpleasant to everyone, and his mother was a real stick-in-the-mud, so he supposed it was just because those two were so insufferable. Aunt Rita had always been nothing but pleasant to Finn. She had the most interesting stories and went to the most interesting of places, she had a fashionable eye, and she could turn all the boys' heads. She had so much good advice, and Finn learned every lesson aptly. His mother had nothing but complaints about Aunt Rita, and Finn ignored all of them. No one ever lived up to his mother's expectations. Not even Daria.

* * *

The drills that Coach Gibson set up for football tryouts were exactly what Finn thought they would be, only far more brutal. Football dummies to attempt to break through, catching and throwing drills, and intense push-ups and other exercises. This was probably done to weed out the non-committed losers. By the end of the practice, Finn was dripping in sweat, covered in mud, and so exhausted he could barely stand.

"That was incredible." Joey noted once all four friends had assembled.

"Tough." Jamie could barely get out a couple of words.

"Still...goin...strong." Jeffy was as exhausted at everyone else, but tried not to show it.

"Bull." Jamie replied.

"Showertime." Finn stated. "We can...fight later." He could worry about what to do later, after he wasn't such a disgusting mess. It was a good thing he waited, for after he finished, he exited into the hallway to find the meek girl from the Fashion Club, Stacy.

"Oh, hi Stacy." Finn smiled. "You trying out for a team?"

"Umm...no." Even without the other two Fashion Club girls, Stacy was skittish. She didn't look at Finn directly in the eyes, she brought her arms close to her body as if she was cold, and she fidgeted with the notebook in her hand.

"Okay. Well, see ya." Finn smiled. If she wanted something, she wasn't about to speak up. Finn hadn't the patience for such games. He needed to make sure he went and saw Coach Gibson, to make sure there wasn't anything else he needed to do before the final team list was posted. The coach would appreciate such dedication and thoroughness.

"Hello, Finn." The coach was pleasant when Finn knocked on his office door. He also appeared to be a gym teacher here, although he wasn't Finn's teacher.

"Hey, Coach." Finn smiled. "Just wanted to ask if there was anything else you needed from me before I left for the day. Don't want to make things unnecessarily difficult."

"I wouldn't worry too much, Finn. I was impressed with your performance out there." The coach smiled, and so did Finn.

"You've got talent, boy." The coach was friendly. Coaches tended to be, Finn noticed. Teams were always like a brotherhood, where everyone was close. Of course, when you were all working together for a common goal; practicing together for hours upon hours; showering side by side with other men; and then listened to locker room conversation, it was impossible not to become close.

"_It would be homoerotic to the unenlightened." _Finn chuckled to himself.

"Only thing we need is a physical, and you should be set."

"Oh right, I guess I would need one of those since I transferred here." Finn acknowledged.

"Technically, I'm not even supposed to let you practice with the team until I have it, but our first game isn't for a few weeks. I'm sure you can get it to me by then."

"Yeah, no biggie." Finn replied. "I'm not about to get you guys in trouble or anything. I'm sure we can schedule one for next week."

* * *

"You need a physical?" Helen asked, Finn informed his family at dinner.

"Yeah, Mom. Just to make sure I'm A-OK to go for the team."

"Well, that's no big deal, they're easy to schedule. I'll do it tomorrow." Helen stated.

"Hey, sport, how were tryouts." Jake asked.

"Fun, actually." Finn replied. "No quitters or anything. Quarterback's a bit of a flake though. His name's Kevin Thompson, he's in the grade ahead of me."

"That's your grade, isn't it, Daria?" Helen turned to Daria. "Do you know him?"

"Today in class he thought that a genie made everything look like a school because it really happened in _Huck Finn._" Daria replied.

"And I suppose you didn't have a hand in that epiphany, did you, Daria?" Finn scowled a bit. He did know that Kevin was an idiot, but Daria always picked on people who didn't do well in school and cut them down to her pathetic level. He wasn't about to let her do that to a member of the team.

"As much as I'd love to take credit, I can't improve on that one." Daria stated. What that meant, Finn wasn't really sure.

"Jake, you should take Finn to the physical when he goes." Helen stated.

"Sure!" Jake eagerly agreed.

"And while you're there, we should have a check-up scheduled for you, too." Helen completed. Jake was not enthusiastic about that one.

"But Helen, I don't need one, I feel fine!" He protested.

"I'm serious, Jake. You're in your 40's now and having annual checkups are important for a man your age. Remember last time when you had your cholesterol checked." Helen's eyes narrowed a bit.

"Oh yeah, do I remember that." Jake started seething a bit. "Watch the amount of meat you eat, Jake. Limit the amount of cheese. Don't butter your bread, Jake. All the good foods are taken. I get to watch all the guys eating bacon cheeseburgers and rib-eye while I'm stuck with a damn wilted leaf of lettuce and some damn carrot sticks." Jake balled his hands into fists and started ranting.

"Dad." Finn tilted his head. "Come on, it'll be fine. After we're done, why don't we take the day off. Joey showed me where a firing range was. You'll feel better."

"Finn, you're going back to school when you're done, a physical doesn't even take an hour for a boy your age." Helen ordered.

"Aw, come on." Now Finn was protesting like his father.

"Finn, the worst that will happen is you need a few shots, there's no reason to skip school."

"Unless they discover you have tuberculosis." Daria sniped.

"Daria, that test takes two days to complete." Helen returned. "And we don't want your brother to have that."

"Yeah, coughing up blood would be murder on the carpets. How about gonorrhea."

"Daria, that's gross!" Finn yelled at her.

"Daria, no mentioning diseases at the dinner table." Helen lectured.

"_Stirring. Like she'll listen to that. Oh well, just let her go. Like always." _Finn sighed. At least Aunt Rita's talk today had calmed him down enough to remain seated at the table.

* * *

The physical was scheduled for Wednesday of next week. For a moment, Helen considered also taking Daria to get one done; the high school did ask that the students keep one on file. But Daria didn't need it done this year unless she joined an extracurricular activity, which wasn't likely. So it would just be Finn and Jake off together on another crazy adventure of theirs. When the day for the physical rolled around, Helen was willing to bet that her son would attempt to charm his way into taking the day off with his father, and Jake would only be too happy to oblige.

"_Those men." _Helen thought to herself. It was a rare week when the two of them weren't off together on some sports excursion or other. Whether it was batting cages, the firing range, or even a simple game of catch, Finn and Jake had a closeness unlike many children his age.

Lord knows it had it's benefits. Jake had been a significantly stressed person working for a rather sadistic boss back in Highland, and all those activities gave him a way to release the frustration from his job, as well as the years living under Jake's own father, who, according to Jake's random tirades, was a merciless monster. Of course, Helen had never met Jake's father; he never brought her to meet him, and he died from a heart attack shortly after their commitment ceremony.

It also gave Finn some structure. Jake taught Finn how to box when the boy was younger, and Finn took an active interest in it. He also took up football because he knew how much Jake would have loved to see him at a game. Not to mention all that time with the counselors at school working with Daria. Jake was far too meek to add more then a simple lecture and a chiming in when it came to that topic, so Helen had to bear the grunt work of that herself. With Finn, though, Jake could easily do the lion's share of the work.

But it also had it's drawbacks. Athletics and sports were the only thing the two of them had, and Jake wasn't the best person to come to when advice of an academic nature was needed. He also wasn't the best person to come to when a question was uncomfortable, delicate, or otherwise difficult. But, even worse than that, the closeness between Finn and Jake was a daily reminder of her lack of the same. Between the duties Helen had to perform, and the fact that she was not into those sports like Finn was, only served to show that when Finn needed a mother in his life, he often went looking elsewhere.

"_Like Rita." _Helen thought to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by her cellular ringing.

"Yes, Helen Morgendorffer." Helen stated.

"Hi, honey." It was Jake's voice on the other line.

"Oh, hello, Jake. The physical is at 11." Helen figured he'd call because he forgot the time.

"It's not that, honey. It's just...well, I'm really swamped here. I got a brand new client today!" Jake was cheerful.

"You can't reschedule?" Helen asked.

"No, honey, this just came up today." Jake replied. "Do you think you could take Finn to his physical?"

"Jake, I'm backed up in the office as is." Helen reprimanded. "I wish you had cleared your schedule!"

"It was clear." Jake stated. "But then I got this call from a guy in..."

"Never mind, Jake." Helen stated. "I'll take Finn to his physical. I should be able to make it if I go there now."

"Great! G'bye honey!" Jake hung up the phone quickly, and Helen wondered if there was actually a client for Jake's business.

"_Honestly, the lengths that man will go to get away from the doctor's office. Who's scared of a few needles, anyway?" _

_

* * *

_

Helen had gone to Lawndale High to take care of paperwork before Daria and Finn started school, but she didn't really know where everything was in the school. She couldn't help but marvel at the metal detectors, security cameras, and high-tech bric-a-brac that the school spent on safety for the students.

"_I just hope it's worth the property taxes." _Helen thought. When she made her way to the office, she was greeted by none other than Angela Li, the principal of the school.

"Why, hello Mrs. Morgendorffer." The woman was pleasant.

"Hello, Ms. Li." Helen smiled back. "I'm actually here to pick up my son, I'm taking him to a physical."

"Why, yes, Coach Gibson did mention your son to me. Finn is a marvel on the football field, and I know he'll bring a great deal of success to Lawndale High's football team. It's rare to see such talent in a freshman."

"Well, I'm glad to see him so well-adjusted in school so quickly." Helen stated.

"I'll summon him to the office immediately." Ms. Li turned to leave.

"If it's all right, Ms. Li, why don't you just tell me where he is and I'll go get him." Helen thought. This would be a golden opportunity to see how Finn interacted at school. It had been near-impossible to get that child to exert effort at his schoolwork, and perhaps seeing him first-hand would give her a better idea on how to approach it.

"I suppose that would be acceptable." Ms. Li stated. "You did pass security, after all."

"Thanks." Helen forced a laugh. They had searched her purse and she had to empty her pockets before she reached the principal's office, among other things.

"_And I suppose the fingerprinting supplies come next week, then?" _Helen joked to herself. Ms. Li punched something into a computer.

"Let's see, right now he has biology with Janet Barch." Ms. Li told Helen how to reach the science wing, and soon Helen found herself at the door. She quickly peaked inside the classroom before knocking, and saw Finn seated in the back of the class. He appeared to be looking at the board and taking notes, which was good. Helen knocked on the door, and heard a terse voice say "come in."

The biology classroom appeared to be in the middle of a lecture on cell mitosis. Science wasn't Helen's best subject in school, but she did do rather well in it.

"May I help you?" The teacher came over to her. Ms. Barch was shorter and stockier then Helen, but was dressed very professionally and put together.

"Yes, I'm Helen Morgendorffer. I'm here to pick up Finn, my son."

"Oh, so you are Finn's mother. Finn, your mother came to get you." Finn started packing his bags.

"I've seen your name in _Business Women's Weekly." _The teacher praised Helen. "Truly, you are a pristine example of a working, professional woman. And your daughter is one of my best students."

"Oh, you have Daria?" Helen asked.

"It's a pleasure. She's truly a great example of a woman's superior brain." Ms. Barch noted.

"Mom, I'm ready, can we go now?" Finn asked. He seemed eager to leave the classroom. Helen wondered why, when he had such a energetic and poised teacher.

"Before you leave, Finn, perhaps you can recall the four phases of cell mitosis?" Whereas Barch was jovial talking to Helen, her tone was serious when she talked to Finn.

"Umm...okay, I think I remember them. Let's see..." Finn bit his lip.

"There was telophase...uhh...metaphase...prophase...and....err...conphase?"

"No, Finn, that's wrong." Barch stated, and Helen wondered why she didn't mention that the first three were correct. Finn might have gotten the wrong impression.

"Uhh...I...I don't know then." Finn stated.

"Not a surprise." Ms. Barch stated. "After all, cells are the building blocks of life, not death. You...you males only know how to destroy things smaller than you, after all." Finn flinched when Barch insulted him, and Helen took a deep breath to prevent herself from saying something.

"Can I go now?" Finn asked. "We're going to be late for my physical."

"Alright. And remember, the reading assignment is Chapter 12, although you might want to wrap your male brain around Chapter 11 first. And there's an essay due on the defective Y chromosome next week. I hope you can find the free time between slaughtering the weak and abandoning your girlfriend after 20 miserable years of legal servitude!" Helen was aghast at the woman's behavior. Finn was enduring the abuse with an extremely uncomfortable look on his face. He was used to be insulting, but by Daria.

"Mrs. Morgendorffer, I am truly glad to see you today." Barch turned polite as she spoke to Helen again. "We don't need your son anymore." Helen had angry and hostile clients before, ones much more vulgar, crude and horrific than Janet Barch. But never in her life had Helen wanted more then to strike another person.

* * *

Finn walked quickly towards the car, eager to get away from the school. Helen had to move briskly to keep pace, which was difficult in the shoes she was wearing.

"Finn?" Helen asked. He slowed down, but did not acknowledge her directly.

"I wanted to ask you, are all of your teachers like that Ms. Barch woman?" Helen asked.

"No, she's great, isn't she?" Finn was extremely sarcastic, and Helen couldn't blame him. That woman seemed certainly eager, almost pathetically so, to watch Finn incorrectly answer a question, than launch abuses after him. It was clear to Helen that Ms. Barch had a hefty dose of hatred against male students, which is probably why Daria never complained about her.

"Seems to like you." Finn noted. "Can we get going, it's almost 10:30." Helen sighed as she got into the car. Finn climbed into the front seat and looked out the window vacantly.

"Finn?" Helen asked. "Is that teacher bothering you?"

"No, of course not." Finn stated. Helen didn't think her son was lying; he cared remarkably little about what other people said to him, but there was something else, something hiding behind his standard deflections. There was something bothering him, something that wasn't bothering him this morning.

"Sweetie, I certainly don't appreciate that woman's insults of you. I think I'm going to have to speak with Ms. Li about her when I get the chance. She should not be saying those things."

"Yeah, whatever." Finn replied tersely. "Thanks for the backup, Mom." He huffed and went back to staring out the window. Helen thought silently as she drove towards the physician's office. A terse reply from Finn was nothing new to her. She had no shortage of those from both of her children. But when Finn started getting sarcastic with her, Helen knew there was something else behind it. She had spent years working in court and litigation, she could tell when people were hiding things.

"_You only wish you were that mysterious, Finn." _Helen remarked to herself. "_Maybe you are to girls your age, but not me. But what did you expect me to do? Would you have liked it better if I slapped her."_

_

* * *

_

Sitting in the front seat of the car, Finn only sighed as he recalled the memory of today's class with Janet Barch. Although he ignored her anti-male rants and complaints about her husband, what stuck out in his mind was his mother, two steps away from him, watched Janet Barch lay into him, far worse than she had seen anyone do to him before, and she did nothing.

"_What else is new?" _

_

* * *

_

Helen supposed that there was at least one advantage to taking Finn to the physical over Jake, in that she could fill out the paperwork for the insurance much faster than her husband. Finn sat patiently in the waiting room reading an exercise magazine once he finished the health questionnaire. It was the only time she ever saw Finn silent; when he was alone with her.

"Finn, I'm surprised you didn't bring your biology book in. This would be a perfect time to study it, since it's still fresh in your mind."

"I have no idea when they're going to call me." Finn did not look up from his magazine. "No sense starting if I just need to stop in the middle. Then it would drive me crazy. Ooh, I've never seen that exercise before." Finn became more engrossed in the magazine, clearly determined to avoid any sort of conversation with Helen. She wasn't about to talk to Finn about Ms. Barch, not here, with all these strangers sitting around.

"Finn, have you given any more thought to joining a club?" Helen asked.

"Between practice, games, and weight training, there won't be time for this and all the parties and dates. I mean, I'm only one man."

"Finn, you really should consider getting involved in a club. Being a varsity player does look good, but even better are a broad range of interests."

"I have a broad range of interests. I don't play just one sport."

"I mean they also look for intellectual pursuits as well."

"Yeah, when was the last time you saw a recruiter for the chess club." Finn noted sarcastically.

"Finn, you shouldn't bank on recruiters to get into your colleges for you."

"I'm not." Finn protested. "And anyway, why am I worrying about that now, I'm still a freshman."

"Morgendorffer." A voice called from the doorway.

"That's me. Bye!" Finn eagerly shut the magazine and went towards the door.

* * *

"_Why do you test me so, Finn?"_ Helen wondered to herself once she was alone. She wondered, if Jake had been the one to ask Finn to join a club, would he have done it? Maybe.

"_Would he have done it if Rita had asked him? Not that she would."_Helen thought bitterly. Finn idolized his aunt Rita, and that relationship mystified Helen to no end. Rita, her older sister, was her mother's favored child, and Rita often got special favors from her, like having her first wedding paid, and fancy vacations for Rita's daughter Erin. What Helen's mother, and Finn, saw in Rita could not be explained. Rita was vacuous, trite, dilettantish, and a whole slew of other names Helen wouldn't utter in public. She never held a job, and flitted from boyfriend to boyfriend, all men with money.

"_And Finn soaked all of that up." _Helen thought. There was no doubt in her mind that her own son was a seductive creature, his time and effort to working out and his appearance were done specifically to attract women, traits Rita would have helped him cultivate. There was nothing wrong with that, but Finn took things to excess, often getting extravagant gifts from women who probably should be spending their money on other things. He flitted from girl to girl, breaking their hearts with nary a care, but not hurting them enough so that they didn't stop buying him gifts.

"_If you don't want to date just one person, that's fine. But why do you accept gifts from girls you wouldn't even remotely date?" _

_

* * *

_

After Finn finished his physical, the two piled back into the car. Just like when they went to the doctor's office, Finn stared vacantly out the window, not paying attention to anything. The visit took a little longer than Helen thought, but Finn could still make his last few classes.

"Did everything go well at the physical?"

"No problems." Finn replied. "Height and weight, take a deep breath, turn and cough, pee in a cup. You know, normal." He didn't once look at Helen, and continued looking vacantly out the window.

Helen thought for a moment about what to do next. Her plan was to drop Finn off at school, then she could still make some time for the Zybor Mattresses case. She saw the mall over on her right, and wondered whether or not she should take a snow day and spend some time with Finn. Finn had definitely noticed when she took the day off to spend with Daria, and those two children of hers noticed when the other one had something.

But what would they do? Helen did want to pick out a new business dress, and Finn could definitely tell her what was fashionable, but fashionable didn't always mean appropriate for a court setting. They could get lunch, but there would just be more uncomfortable silence, more evasive answers. For all of Finn's outgoing nature, he could clam up just as easily as Daria. Finn didn't even regard the mall when it passed him, odd, since he spent most of his free time there.

"_Talk to me, Finn." _Helen commanded silently, knowing her son wouldn't listen. His mind was elsewhere.

Helen drove past the mall. There'd be no point in heading there. She got plenty of Finn's silence at home.

* * *

Once he reached the school, Finn slowly made his way to class. 6th period was just about over and he had no desire to go to his seat just to get right back up again. Once the bell rang, he made his way to the lunch room, where he spent his study hall with his buddies.

"Yo, dude!" Joey eagerly greeted him.

"Hey." Finn smiled. "All back from the physical."

"Your mom made you come back for the last two periods of the day? Weak, dude." Jeffy chuckled a little. Finn didn't get angry about the comment. It was weak. Finn stepped aside to get a soda from the vending machine. As he sat back down, a girl approached him. She certainly was a looker, a large-breasted girl wearing a Lawndale cheerleader uniform, wearing blonde hair.

"Hi, guys!" She was extremely exuberant and cheerful.

"Hey, Brittany." The guys all replied. Finn had never met the girl before now, so he merely smiled at her without saying anything.

"Hi, Finn!" Brittany made it a point to acknowledge Finn directly. Had they met before? Finn wasn't sure.

"Hello." He smiled. Brittany took a seat pleasantly and started twirling her hair with her finger.

"I just wanted to congratulate you guys on making the varsity team!" Brittany stated.

"You guys made it too? Fantastic!" Finn praised. The Coach had already extended the offer to Finn upon meeting him, but the other guys did not receive such a boon. It made Finn feel better that he would be playing alongside his friends.

"This weekend, my parents are out of town and I'm throwing a party!" Brittany smiled. "I'd really like it if you four attended."

"Yeah!" Jeffy cheered.

"I'll be there." Jamie agreed.

"Count me in!" Joey rounded it out. Brittany turned to Finn, and it was soon clear to him that she extended this invitation to all the guys, but she really wanted Finn to attend.

"Of course. Sounds lovely." Finn smiled. A party this weekend would be great fun, and he could meet the rest of the guys on the team as well as the cheerleaders. If there were all as cheerful as Brittany was, than he would be around people the exact opposite of Daria, which meant a good time would be had by all.

"I'll be there with bells on." Finn laughed.

"Why would you wear bells?" Brittany asked. Finn furrowed his brow at that one.

"He means he really wants to come." Jeffy also seemed to be holding back a laugh.

"Great!" Brittany cheered, and proceeded to give the boys her address. Finn politely smiled at her as she left the table. Once she left, Finn chuckled.

"Bright as a Goth chick's eyeliner." Finn remarked.

"Dude, she likes you." Joey noted.

"Yeah so."

"That's Kevin's girl, dude!" Jamie noted, which caused Finn to frown. This happened more often than he'd care to admit, a woman with a boyfriend would flirt with him. Finn had no respect for women that did that, but it wasn't as if women like that flaunted the fact that they were dating someone else. He'd once gone out on three dates with a girl before he realized she had a boyfriend.

Finn wasn't about to discourage such behavior. If the girl wanted to be a whore, that was her business. He could defend himself if a guy got angry with him, and gifts were gifts, no matter who bought them.

* * *

Once Finn arrived home, he found his father laying on the couch with a notepad in his hands.

"Hey, Dad." Finn smiled. "You're home kind of early."

"Wanted a change of pace, son." Jake smiled back. "Couldn't really think of some good strategies in the office." Jake replied. "Hey, a package came for you!"

"I'll get it after dinner." Finn stated. It was probably Aunt Rita's, and Finn would wait until evening, when she'd be free for him to call once he did open it.

* * *

After dinner, Helen was cleaning up the tray of lasagna. Daria had departed to her room, while Jake was seated at the table with a calculator, determined to figure out whether or not the cable bill had an error in it.

"_I don't understand why you don't just let me handle that. You can be so neurotic sometimes. Or a lot of times." _Helen thought. Finn had just opened the package, and immediately started going through the pictures included in the package before dealing with a bundle of something wrapped in tissue paper.

"These are great!" Finn smiled, clearly oblivious to how Rita got Roger, or her mother, to front the bill for the entire trip. Rita sent those pictures not just for Finn, but for her, Helen reasoned. Just like with Amy, Helen's other sister, Rita would often taunt her with pictures of vacations in exotic locales, trying to mock her for not taking vacations.

"_I don't know how you sleep at night sometimes, Rita." _Helen thought. Finn also took the time to read a letter sent to him from Rita, and he smiled, clearly happy with what was written on the page.

"What's in the package, sport?" Jake asked, putting the bill down.

"Oh yeah." Finn opened the bundle to find a small tinted glass bottle. Finn squinted at it.

"Oh wow!" Finn looked amazed. "This is some high quality stuff." He smiled.

"What is it?" Jake asked.

"It's cologne, Dad. I can't believe this, it's like what all the A-list actors wear. It must have been expensive. She really didn't need to do this.

"_Just a little gift from her. Or Roger." _Helen thought to herself. She wouldn't dare speak it aloud in front of Finn, lest he fight her again. Finn was such a bulldog when it came to Rita.

"I gotta go call her." He carefully rewrapped the bottle in the tissue paper, then put everything back in the package and headed upstairs to his room.

"Look how happy he looks~" Jake smiled before returning to the bill.

"Dammit, this isn't the cable bill~" He shouted.

"Oh, for the love of God, Jake, it was sitting right in..." Helen walked over to the table to grab the piece of paper in front of Jake, and, sure enough, it wasn't the cable bill. The top of it said "_Dear Finn_."

"Finn grabbed the cable bill by mistake, Jake, I'll get it for you." Helen took the letter and headed upstairs. As she made her way up, she heard workout music coming from Finn's room. He must not have been able to reach Rita. Her hands briefly fidgeted with the paper in her hand, and she wondered if whether or not she should read it.

"_Just a quick peek. I have to figure out how Rita does it. I can't let her beat me."_ Helen started to read the page.

_Dear Finn,_

_I hope you are doing well in Lawndale. When I saw this at the Galeries Lafayette, I knew it was something you'd love. I hope when you put it on before a date, you'll remember how much your aunt loves you. _

_Erin is doing well, although I'm worried that Brian is about to propose to her. I don't want to bother you with those problems, but I believe Erin can do better than that caveman. I wish you knew some older men sometimes__ཀ_

_I hope football goes well for you. If you make varsity, please make sure to tell me when Homecoming is. I'd love to come see it. Don't tell your mother that I've made these plans, she'll just give both of us a lot of grief. _

_With all of my love,_

_Aunt Rita_

Helen's hands trembled a bit as she read the note. She'd never seen Rita act this soft, ever, even if it was just writing.

"_And if you didn't turn Finn into a cold, insensitive womanizer, I might think this was a sign of humanity."_ Helen thought as she quickly folded the page. Before she went to Finn's room, however, she made a detour to Daria's rom. She was seated at her desk, typing something. Whether it was for school or personal, Helen couldn't say, Daria would never let her get close enough to the screen.

"Yes?" Daria asked.

"Daria, I wanted to ask you something. You have Ms. Barch as a science teacher, correct?"

"I do." Daria replied. "What about her?"

"Well, I went to pick up Finn from class today and, well..." Helen trailed off.

"Pleasant, isn't she?" Daria sniped.

"Like throat cancer." Helen asided.

"Apparently, her husband left her for a younger woman after twenty years. I only picked up on it when she ranted for the seventh time about it. And then the second day of school happened."

"So she's like that with all the boys?" Helen asked. Daria nodded.

"Are all of your teachers like that?"

"Like that? No. But you should meet Mr. O'Neill. You'll like him." Daria was sarcastic, and Helen wondered if she would end up wanting to punch yet another teacher. She'd have to give Marianne at the office her list of patented excuses to get out of school reviews and other conferences. Or at least forward the calls to Jake.

"Anyway, Ms. Barch is extremely hostile to all the males in the class. I think I'd feel bad if the guys in my class weren't all a bunch of thick-headed idiots."

"Daria, you know that she insults your brother, too."

"Even ogres have some taste." Daria remarked.

"Daria, you should want to stand up for your little brother when someone like that is being cruel to him."

"Finn invites cruelty." Daria returned. "You listen to the two girls sitting in front of you in class, who have been best friends for life, go to war and humiliate each other just so Finn can smile at them first.

"Daria!" Helen lowered her tone. "Girls that age feud over boys, it's just a phase."

"I'll be sure to remember that the next time I see Brittany and Kevin." Daria returned to her writing. Helen shook her head.

* * *

Helen knocked on Finn's door, where she found him doing ab crunches.

"Finn, you left this downstairs." Helen held up Rita's letter.

"What?" Finn got up and went to his desk. "I have..." He rummaged through the box and found the paper he had placed inside.

"It's the cable bill, isn't it?" Helen asked. Finn groaned. Helen dropped the page on his desk and took the bill. He looked agitated.

"You didn't read it, did you?" Finn puzzled. Helen figured he didn't want her to know Aunt Rita wanted to show up for Homecoming. Helen didn't blame him, she would try to put a stop to it if she could.

"Well, I read your name on the back of the page." Helen lied. She didn't want to get into an argument about Rita. Not now, not while she was sober.

"Oh, okay." Finn looked slightly relieved.

"Finn, about that Ms. Barch woman, you know, you don't have to listen to her..."

"I don't, don't worry."

"Good. Just because she's your teacher doesn't mean you have to agree with her personal life. Just listen to her lessons."

"Until she fails me to 'punish all the men in the world, one at a time.' He imitated Barch's shrill voice.

"Finn, did you do your biology work?" Helen asked.

"I'll do it later. Having a good workout."

"Finn, just because that teacher is awful doesn't mean you should write off your work."

"She's going to flunk me anyway."

"Finn, with all the security cameras in that school, I doubt she could get away with flunking you if she did well."

"Okay." Finn brushed her off again. Helen didn't leave the room for a moment.

"Finn, do you have a problem with your teachers?" Helen wondered. "They can't all be bad people." Finn laughed.

"Mom, just drop it. I'm not going to be good in school even if the teachers weren't Ms. Barch. I'm not Daria, Mom, I'm not! Stop trying to turn me into Daria!" Finn was upset.

"I'm not trying to turn you into Daria, Finn. I just want you to realize that you're going to need to do your best in school if you want to succeed in life. I tell you this over and over again."

"Fine, Mom. If it'll get you to leave me alone, I'll do the biology assignment now." He toweled off his sweat and took a seat at his desk, not bothering to change out of his gym shorts.

"Sweetie, I..." Helen tried to calm herself down, concerned she came off too harsh, but then the cellular in her pocket rang. She looked at the number.

"_Eric." _The number belonged to Eric Schrecter, one of the senior partners at her law firm. She would have to take this call. But as she started to talk to Eric as she left his room, she saw Finn out of the corner of her eye, reading the chapter the sadistic teacher asked him to read, and hating every minute of it.

"_Finn, I love you and your sister equally. Why do you think I want to turn you into her?" _


	3. Party Hardy

Brittany Taylor's party was going to be the first one of the season, and, just like at the first day of school, Finn wanted to aim high. There would probably be many other cheerleaders at the party, many other cheerleaders. Brittany seemed to be a very bubbly, energetic person, maybe cheer captain. It would make sense that this would be a rather big party. This only gave him more reason to make an entrance there.

The fact that she was Kevin's girlfriend made no difference to Finn. Any girl that attempted to date him while concurrently dating someone else was a slut. Finn didn't date sluts, not consciously, at least. Any girl willing to cheat on her boyfriend either didn't have the courage to break up with her boyfriend, wanted boys to fight over her, or was just a plain slut. None of those were people Finn respected.

But he wasn't about to discourage the behavior. Girls like that were desperate, and the best gifts came from desperate girls. This was going to be fun.

"So, guys, tell me a little bit about Brittany and Kevin." Finn asked his buddies. He was not about to go into this war unprepared.

"Brittany's hot, and she knows it." Jamie stated.

"_If by hot you mean she brings enough breasts for the rest of the class, then yeah." _Finn thought to himself. Brittany was cute, but not beautiful.

"She and Kevin have been together for a long time, but they both cheat on each other all the time." Joey added.

"Why don't they just break up?" Finn asked. The three guys looked at each other as if they never thought of that question.

"They never told each other anything. I don't think." Jeffy noted. "Hey, whose everyone going to ask to the party?" The guys all mentioned names Finn didn't recognize.

"I'm not going to go with anyone." Finn replied. The three J's looked at him strangely.

"We're already invited." Finn shrugged. "We don't need dates."

"We gotta have dates, that's how..." Jamie started, but Finn cut him off.

"That's rule number one. You don't tie yourself to any girl. Dates are fine, but you can never date the same girl twice in a row, unless of course it's a more public venue like a concert. After that you wait two weeks, or if she gives you an appropriate gift, than maybe you can shave off a few days." The guys all stared at Finn as if he was giving the sermon on the Mount.

"If you look desperate, girls walk all over you. They treat you like a cash machine." Finn instructed. "If she plays hard to get, don't waste your time. They come back when you act like you don't want them. It's like, psychology, or something. Watch me in action at Brittany's party, and see for yourself." There wasn't a hint of condescension in Finn's voice as he instructed his friends. This was his theater, his court, and they knew it. They saw first hand how practically a third of the female populace of Lawndale High fell over him to ask him out the first day of school. Pretty much everyone had spoken to him by now.

* * *

Once the school day had ended on Thursday, Finn headed home in order to pick out an outfit for the party. There was a practice on Friday, so he wanted to make sure he knew what he wanted to wear then.

"Black jeans, blue jeans, or khakis?" He wondered as he regarded himself in the full length mirror.

"They all make equally ineffective nooses." A snarky voice came from his doorway. Finn looked in the mirror to see Daria standing at his door. "I could be wrong though. Give it a go." She continued.

"What do you want?" Finn asked.

"I was trying to find the source of a horrific stench in the house. It's the smell of needless pretense and human waste." Daria stated to him.

"Screw your stupid jokes. I've got a party to prepare for and I'm not about to get distracted with your little jokes."

"This party you're preparing for wouldn't happen to be Saturday at Brittany Taylor's house, would it?" Daria asked.

"Yes. She's a cheerleader, you know, which means she's a nice person who throws parties because she has friends. Not like you." Finn criticized. After another minute of Daria waiting in the doorway, and Finn looking at pants, he paused.

"Wait, how did you know about it? You don't have friends."

"That should be obvious, I was invited." Daria returned.

"Wait, what? She'd have to be a complete idiot to invite you."

"That's correct." Daria noted. Finn then recalled when he first met Brittany. She was, in fact, a complete idiot.

"You can't go, I forbid it. This is going to be the first big party of the season and I'm not about to have you humiliate me there."

"Hmmm...I guess I should go. Brittany's dad is fairly rich, so there's bound to be some premium junk food there."

"You can't!" Finn protested. "This is my time to make an impression on all the football players, and you'll ruin it!"

"What would they care, I'm not on the team." Daria stated with a mocking smile on her face.

"You ruin everything by existing!" Finn protested.

"Welcome to my life after you were born." Daria sniped. Satisfied that she got the last word in, Daria vanished from the doorway.

* * *

"So, both of you are headed to the same party this Saturday night?" Helen asked at the dinner table.

"Yes." Daria stated flatly.

"No!" Finn vehemently denied at the same time.

"Which is it?" Jake asked.

"I'm going, Daria isn't!" Finn eagerly protested.

"I was invited too, it's my decision." Daria returned.

"But you're unpopular, you're not supposed to go to parties."

"Finn, this party could be very good for Daria." Helen returned. "She can improve her social skills and make new friends."

"She might need to count them on both hands now." Finn sniped.

"Stay up all night thinking that one?" Daria returned. Finn stared daggers at her from across the table.

"She's just going to embarrass me."

"Just because Daria doesn't go to many parties doesn't mean she'll embarrass herself."

"I'm not worried about embarrassing me." Daria smiled evilly at Finn.

"Maybe I'll just invite Jane to the party." Finn stated. Daria glared back at him when he mentioned her friend.

"_Stop ruining my life and I'll back off."_ Finn mentally commanded his sister.

"Finn, Daria, both of you, stop fighting about this." Helen ordered.

"You know, sport, I'd be happy to drive you two to the party." Jake offered pleasantly.

"That's okay, Dad, I already have a ride. Thanks, though." Finn lied. There was no way Finn would allow people to see Daria and himself riding in the same car.

"Why don't I just take you, then, Daria?" Jake offered.

"Already handled that part." Daria returned.

"You should ground Daria from the party for not being polite to Dad!" Finn vainly tried to get Daria forbidden from attending.

"You can't get that one to stick." Helen commanded. "Not without destroying yourself."

"Argh!" Finn growled as he left the table.

* * *

"Daria, this is the first party you've ever gone too. You should be able to make a few new friends."

"I don't know if I'll be comfortable there. After all, Finn's going."

"Daria, I doubt you two will stick around each other." Helen replied. "But since you are both going, maybe you can keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't get into trouble."

"Now I'm definitely sure I don't want to go. How much can I take watching him suck face for a few hours."

"Daria." Helen cautioned. "You know your brother takes things to excess at parties."

"I'll say. I remember back in Highland when he went to that hockey party." Helen cringed at that one. Apparently, someone had brought alcohol, and Finn ended up trashed to the point where he believed a stop sign was a person. Apparently he headbutted the sign and had to be hauled back home by his friends.

"I mean it, Daria. Make sure Finn doesn't get carried away, he'll have a much better time and so will you."

"I'm pretty sure this qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment."

"Daria, I got my credit card statement back from the Medical Oddities catalog. You don't have a leg to stand on." Helen sipped her coffee in a final show of triumph.

* * *

Finn made his way to Joey's before the party started. All four guys were going to go as a group, just in case someone thought they wouldn't have a date or anything. Finn wasn't too concerned about it himself, but Jamie was extraordinarily self-conscious about not being attached to a woman, and this put his mind at ease. Once Finn arrived at Joey's, though, he quickly cringed. The guys were wearing the same clothes they wore to school today, none of them had showered or anything, and when Finn said hi to Jamie, he wondered whether or not Jamie brushed his teeth this morning.

"All right, looks like I arrived just in time." Finn stated.

"Come on, we're going to be late!" Joey stated.

"We're not leaving just yet. You guys aren't ready for this party. I mean, did you guys even get showers or anything?" Finn asked.

"Dude, these people all know who we are." Jeffy stated.

"True, but we're not here to meet them, we're here to impress them. You want to get more girls, don't you?"

"Yes!" Jamie replied eagerly.

"Sure." Joey agreed.

"I'm not about to let you guys outdo me!" Jeffy stated.

"We don't have enough time to pick out a wardrobe and get showers, but we can still straight you guys up." Finn pulled a comb out of his pocket.

"Sit down!" He ordered Jeffy. "Joey, get some deodorant. I'll pull a miracle out of this one yet."

* * *

The party had already started by the time the guys arrived. Even though all Finn had done with the guys was style their hair and have them use deodorant and mouthwash, the improvement was significantly greater.

"Hi, guys!" Brittany eagerly greeted the four when she found them. "Hi, Finn!" She addressed Finn specifically again.

"Hey. Lovely house." Finn praised insincerely. The house was bedecked in early African safari; furniture made from dead creatures or ceramic models of them were sprinkled everywhere.

"Enjoy yourselves." Brittany flitted around to meet some more people.

"Finn!" A voice called over. Finn turned his head to find the Fashion Club girls coming over towards him.

"Girls, it's nice to see you again!" Finn smiled. "You know my friends Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey, right?"

"Yes, we have met. I wasn't aware you gentleman were friends with Finn." Sandi stated. Finn knew that was insincere; he was standing with them the first time he and Sandi met. But there was no reason to press this now.

"Shall we dance?" Sandi offered.

"I think I need a little refreshment first." Finn stated. At his response, all three of the girls quickly darted off.

"Wow, that was pretty impressive." Joey praised.

"It's all in the posture. Head up high, but don't stick your nose up. Back arched, shoulders erect, don't tilt your neck." He gave a quick posture lesson to the guys, who nearly fell over themselves trying to do it. As soon as they finished, the Fashion Club returned. Sandi and Tiffany were empty-handed, while poor Stacy seemed to be used as the pack mule, carefully balancing four cups of punch and a plate of snacks.

"Stacy, do you think you could please serve Finn and his friends without spilling anything on yourself."

"That blouse...shouldn't get wet." Tiffany replied vacantly. Stacy started to shake.

"Here, Stacy, let me help you with that." Jamie offered. He took the plate from her hands. Eager to assist, Jeffy so very carefully removed the two cups Stacy had held in her arms by pressing her forearms together. She looked immediately relieved when she was only carrying one cup in each hand.

"Thank you, girls." Finn smiled, and Stacy's face immediately blushed. He gulped down his punch a moment, and the group of people started chatting. Once the girls started talking, though, Finn almost wished they hadn't done so. Tiffany could only talk about herself, and whatever dates she managed to go on, or her hair, or her outfit. Sandi, although she could engage in a variety of topics, was clearly disinterested in anything that wasn't about herself, or a put-down to the other two members of the Fashion Club. Stacy tried to engage in conversation, but the second Sandi tilted her head Stacy's way, Stacy shut up quickly, as if she was a mouse hiding from a hawk.

"I think I'm going to go mingle with a few guests. Excuse me." Finn disappeared, eager to get away from the girls.

* * *

As soon as he disappeared, though, he saw a face that he wished he wouldn't have seen. Over in the living room was Daria, who had apparently found her own way to the party.

"_What are you doing here?"_ Finn thought. She appeared to be not having a good time, and Finn wondered why, then, would she not just leave.

"Hey, little bro!" Daria called extremely loudly when she saw him. Finn tried to ignore her, but she merely called again, even more obnoxiously loud, and Finn was forced to deal with her.

"What are you doing here?" Finn demanded in a low voice.

"I was invited, remember." Daria returned. "And I couldn't help but want to see my little bro in his field of study."

"Daria, get out of here!" Finn ordered. "If people see me with you, it's going to make me unpopular!"

"Wouldn't want that, little bro." Daria still talked in a loud voice. As if to spite him, Finn saw Jeffy, Jamie, and Joey coming over towards him.

"Go. Somewhere. Else." Finn instructed. Daria didn't budge.

"Hey, Finn, there you are." Joey noted.

"The Fashion Club girls were looking for you. You're...uhh...talking to her?" Jamie noticed Daria.

"Argh!" Finn groaned again, then stormed off.

* * *

"Hey, Finn?" Jeffy puzzled.

"Oh, don't worry about him." Daria smiled. "He's just worried that people will notice the rash he has is starting to flare up again." She chuckled inwardly.

"I'm Daria, Finn's big sister. Do you see the family resemblance?"

Finn grumbled a bit as he went to get another cup of punch. Daria always ruined things.

"Finn!" He heard a cheerful voice coming to greet him. He turned around to see Brittany, the hostess, eagerly coming over to him.

"Hi, Brittany." He smiled. "This is a great party."

"_If only not for your choice of a certain guest." _He thought to himself.

"You...err...know my sister?" Finn kept his voice hushed, trying desperately not to let other people here.

"Yeah, she helped me out in my art class once and told me that Cashman's was having a one-day sale so I invited her to thank her for it. And that friend of hers Jane is here too because she knows geometry."

"_Jane's here?" _Finn thought. He hadn't seen her yet, so she must have separated herself from Daria at one point. Finn had heard nothing about a one day sale at Cashman's, so whatever it was Daria did to get invited, Brittany missed the point.

"Thanks, Brit." Finn smiled. He knew just how to get Daria out of his hair now.

* * *

It was a good thing too, for Daria was still where she was where he left her, chatting with his friends. Finn couldn't hear what they were talking about, but it was bound to not be pleasant.

"And so, the pro shop manager asks to see Finn's license so he can give him a golf cart. Finn doesn't have one, so he says to the guy..." Daria was going into a story, but Finn wasn't about to let her finished.

"I need to talk to you. Now!" Finn ordered.

"Just a moment, guys. The story gets better after Finn drives the golf cart into the lake." Daria stepped away, and the two went to a corner.

"I'm going to ask you nicely one more time. Leave this party, now!"

"I can't, little bro." Daria teased. "I'm supposed to keep an eye on you."

"Daria, I will give you twenty. Go to Pizza Palace, eat on me, and leave!" Finn said."If you stay here, I swear, I will make your life a living Hell!"

"You already make my life a living Hell." Daria returned.

"One last chance." Finn delivered. Daria took the money, and he quickly departed. Finn's friends soon followed a moment later.

"Where did Finn go?" Jeffy asked.

"Probably just to the bathroom." Daria pocketed the money. "So, anyway, about that golfcart..."

* * *

After leaving Daria, Finn made his rounds with all the other girls had the party. He flirted, they responded. Girls asked him to dates for the following week, and Finn found himself accepting a few. After all, the first week of school was long over; he could start making his conquests. He'd have to write them down when he got home; scheduling two dates on the same night was something Finn did often by accident.

"_Well, we all mess up sometimes." _Finn thought. After he had gotten bored of the ladies, he turned around to find the bathroom, only to run straight into the Fashion Club again.

"Ah, there you are, Finn." Sandi stated. "I was wondering where you had gone. I wondered if perhaps we could have that dance now."

"Well, I suppose..." Finn trailed off when he noticed Daria again.

"_I can't believe this__!" _Finn growled to himself. That bitch just pocketed his money and stuck around anyway.

"_You've just upped the ante, Daria. You've got no one to blame but yourself." _Finn thought. It had been almost half an hour since he had talked to her and she agreed to leave; she had no excuse. Now Finn had carte blanche to make her life miserable, just as he promised.

"Hey, girls, I have an idea." Finn smiled evilly. "See that really ugly unpopular girl." He pointed towards Daria.

"What is she doing here?" Sandi derided.

"It's scary to look at her." Tiffany added.

"You know what, I think she's in need of a Fashion Club crisis." Finn chuckled to himself.

"Finn, isn't that your..." Stacy started, but Finn immediately cut her off.

"It doesn't matter who she is, she's a walking violation in need of fixing. Can you do it, ladies?"

"I never back down from a challenge." Sandi smiled.

"It will showcase...our talents." Tiffany noted.

"Follow me." Finn stated. He moved over towards Daria.

"Still here, I see." Finn stated. He would give Daria one last chance to defend herself, and walk out.

"There's so much more here to do." Daria smiled a cocky smile. "And there are so many more stories to tell."

"_Then let the games begin." _Finn thought.

"These girls are Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany. They're Lawndale's Fashion Club, and are always around to help the truly tasteless become decent to look at. Girls, you know what to do." Finn stepped back and let the Fashion Club step in.

"Oh my, now that we're up close, we really do have a lot of work." Stacy seemed nervous at the daunting task of making Daria beautiful.

"I'm sure you're up to it. Take as long as you need, beauty is not rushed." Finn smiled to himself as he fired his salvo against his sister. The Fashion Club bunched around Daria, not giving her any space to move.

* * *

After Daria was being thoroughly humiliated by the Fashion Club, Finn went back to find his buddies, figuring he might need to do damage control from the stories Daria had told them. He found them in the living room, chatting up a storm with some rather hot freshmen cheerleaders. Joey seemed to be a bit more laidback with chatting with the girls than the other two. Jamie was eagerly chatting with the girls, asking them questions about their own interests, while Jeffy was telling them some pretty wild fantastic stories, capturing their attention. All three of them were making great headway, and the girls seemed pleasantly engaged.

Finn decided not to bother them at the moment. The last thing he wanted to have happen was that the girls lose their attention on the guys and focus on him. That happened more times than Finn would care to admit, and he always felt bad about it. The last thing he wanted one of his friends to feel was inadequate or inferior. After all, Helen Morgendorffer did plenty of that, with all her talk about grades and such. Wishing that on another would be cruel.

"_There will be plenty of time to defuse Daria later."_ Finn thought. He decided to make waves with a few of his own honeys. He chatted up a number of the women's tennis team, who all seemed eager to flirt with Finn. He also ran into Mack, the football captain, who introduced his girlfriend, Jodie Landon. She was a pleasant girl who was very bright, but engaged in many social activities, like Student Council, at the school.

She was pretty much an overachieving geek, but she was pleasant and friendly, unlike the other brains Finn knew. The two could be friends. He soon split off to find another girl, and found a hot little number with blonde hair and a pink shirt tied in a knot to expose her waist. Finn thought he had seen her chatting it up with Sandi and Tiffany earlier.

He made his move.

"Hey, cool party, huh?" The girl did not respond to Finn. Sometimes girls acted frosty like that.

"You friends with Sandi Griffin?" Finn asked. The girl again didn't respond, and he wondered whether or not she was deaf.

"Oh, you're Finn Morgendorffer." The girl replied. "Excuse me." Finn was practically struck dumb by that one. Did she just blow him off, even though she knew who he was?

"And who are you?" Finn asked. This girl was so manner-less that she didn't even introduce herself, and Finn wondered whether or not he should just write her off.

"Tori Jericho." The woman huffed.

"You were talking with Sandi earlier." Finn stated.

"Yes, so what. You're not my type, hotshot." Tori rolled her eyes.

"Not your type? You're only interested in popularity." Finn recalled the tidbits of conversation he had overheard. "I'm one of the most popular boys in school."

"Oh yes, you are, and congratulations." Tori was neither sarcastic nor sincere. "But you're a freshman. I don't date freshman. Later." Tori walked off without another word. Finn was positively stunned at her reply. Girls had told him "no" before, but there was always something in their tone that made Finn know how they'd change their mind. Maybe they just wanted a man to crawl and beg; not that Finn would ever do that. Sometimes they liked to play hard to get and be chased. Or there were material girls who wanted to be paid for their time. None of them were girls that Finn pursued, and, once the attention from them was starved, they came crawling back.

This, though, was something else. Tori did not make freaky accusations, call him names or anything. There was just one line, and there was no way Finn could cross it, either through trick, flirting, or effort. He wouldn't stop being a freshman until the end of the year.

"_Holy crap, this is...depressing. I need some air."_

_

* * *

_

Finn stepped outside into the balmy summer evening. Never before had he been shot down so unilaterally, so succinctly. It wasn't as if there weren't revenge options open. If this Tori chick was a senior or something, Finn could say she was too old for him. Maybe a rumor could surface with her and another, unpopular guy. Crushing people until his heel was easy, and Sandi would probably do it in exchange for a date, if her crushing of Stacy was indicative of her skill.

But none of that would change was Tori's standards. She could be cut down, humiliated, and never get a boyfriend again, but that wouldn't change the fact that, at this moment in time, someone told Finn Morgendorffer "no."

"_Where'd I mess up?"_ Finn thought. He never felt like more of a kid. He leaned on the railing.

"_Did Daria set my game off?" _Finn thought to himself, but denied it. As much as he'd love to blame Daria for this, he was flirting with plenty of girls, and got plenty of numbers and even set up a few dates. This was true even after he discovered her, and after the time he sicced the Fashion Club on her. Daria would also not have known Tori, since Daria wasn't friends with anyone.

He sighed. Now he was bummed out. Who could tell him no, just like that?

As he was alone with his thoughts, a cheerful voice called to him.

"Hi, Finn!" Brittany's exuberant voice came over to him.

"Hey, Brittany!" Finn smiled to disguise his gloomy mood. The party was winding down and guests were starting to leave, but there was still a good portion of people left. If it wasn't for Daria showing up and Tori's little speech, Finn might have found it to be perfectly enjoyable.

"You are a great hostess." Finn praised.

"I think I like hosting parties more than going to parties. It's so easy to get home and I know where all the refreshments are." Brittany was not giving Finn a lot of personal space. It was clear to him now that Brittany was inclined to cheat on her boyfriend with a little making out, or maybe even further.

"Uhhh, Brittany. Could you possibly take your hand off of my inner thigh?" Finn asked. He was starting to get nervous now. He did not want to get with Brittany Taylor in any way. She was moving way too fast for him. They hadn't even gone on one date yet; Finn didn't even kiss until the third.

"Yo, Finn!" An angry voice came from the doorway of the house. From the door stormed Kevin Thompson, who did not look happy.

"What are you doing with my babe?" Kevin demanded.

"We were talking about the party." Finn replied. It was true, that's what they were doing, and, if Finn had his way, that's all they would be doing.

"People been saying you and Brittany have been cozy all night!" Kevin argued.

"Kevin, over two dozen people will tell you otherwise." Finn sighed.

"Kevvy!" Brittany shouted, backing away from Finn.

"Finn, we're taking this outside!" Kevin demanded. Finn paused for a second.

"Kevin, we're already outside." Finn reminded them that they were on the porch.

"Shut up! You're going down!" Kevin crudely took a swing at Finn, a wild, clumsy haymaker punch that Finn saw coming a mile away. He was blocking shots like that ever since his father taught him to box years ago. He dodged the punch.

"Cut it out, Kevin." Finn cautioned. He was not about to get into a fight over Brittany; he didn't even want her. But Kevin refused to listen, and threw another punch. The loud shots and the scuffling noises brought onlookers, both from the door and at the windows.

"_You leave me no choice__!" _Finn thought. He dodged yet another of Kevin's clumsy fists and countered with a right uppercut followed by a left hook. A killer two-punch combo that served Finn well in his years in the ring. They connected, and Kevin was knocked backward. Now extremely incensed, Kevin roared and attempted to tackle Finn. Finn drew back into a semi-crouch, but the larger Kevin barrelled into him and knocked him prone, punching Finn in the jaw.

Kevin never got the chance to land another punch. Although Finn was able to get Kevin away from him, soon Joey eagerly joined into the fray, punching Kevin straight in the face. The two men started to trade blows. It was clear to Finn that neither Joey nor Kevin were traditionally trained in the art of boxing; both of them fought like crude street fighters. Finn briefly regarded Brittany, who was clearly enjoying the carnage. Finn dismissed her from his mind even more, and joined his buddy against Kevin. It wasn't long before Jeffy, never one to be shown up, joined in the brawl as well. With three against one, Kevin was quickly outmatched. As soon as the fight started, it had ended, and more guests started to leave the party.

* * *

Finn and his buddies took a seat on the porch. Jeffy hadn't sustained any injuries at all, and Finn only sustained a rather nasty hit to the jaw. Nothing was broken, but it would definitely swell. Joey, however, really took a beating. His concentration solely on offense had him landing many powerful shots against Kevin, but Joey sustained a black eye and several large bruises on his face, and probably on his body.

"Thanks for that, wingmen." Finn praised. Jeffy chuckled a bit.

"Wasn't about to sit out on the first brawl of the year." Jeffy returned.

"There's more than one."

"Every so often it happens." Jeffy returned. "Nothing like a good brawl. Too bad Jamie didn't join us; he was too busy making more passes at the girls." Finn chuckled. All three of those guys were pretty girl-crazy, but Jamie seemed to take things to extremes.

"And Joey, thanks a bunch." Finn made sure to address Joey, who was seated in a lawn chair. Joey didn't answer, but his entire body twitched. He was clearly ready for another a brawl.

"You handle yourself pretty well, Joey. I do hope you'll join the boxing team." Finn praised. Joey was breathing heavily, and slowly calming down.

"We should put some raw meat on that eye, though." Jeffy told his friend. Joey nodded.

"We'll go find Jamie." He stated. "Wait out here, okay?" Jeffy headed back into the house, Joey following him wordlessly. Finn wondered if there would be another fight. But he paused, and decided he needed to go clear the air with Kevin. It wouldn't do to have a feud between the center and the quarterback; the team would be affected. Finn played enough sports to know that if the team had issues between it's members, the whole group suffered.

"_Kevin, I just want to tell you that there is nothing between Brittany and me. Nothing. She's your babe, your girl, and I'm not getting involved between you." _Finn rehearsed the speech in his mind. He didn't have to search hard, for as soon as he got to the doorway, he saw Kevin and Brittany lend up against the side of the house, making out like a marathon race. It took all of Finn's effort to suppress a laugh. Kevin had sustained quite a number of injuries, but there he was, making out with his whore as if nothing had happened.

Finn ignored them. He wasn't about to interrupt that skin graft. He headed back out towards the yard, nursing his injured jaw, where he noticed another familiar face.

It appeared that the Fashion Club had only gotten so far before Daria managed to get them off of her, but the damage was done. Daria did not carry makeup or other cosmetics in her purse, and had a haphazard job on her face, presumably from her struggling.

"You should try plum. It's a better color for you." Finn teased.

"A swollen jaw goes great with your ego." Daria returned. And that's when Finn figured that Daria had something to do with Kevin's accusations. After all, everyone at the party would know Finn and Brittany spent practically no time together. It could only have been a lie. And the only one to tell a lie like that would be Daria.

'You wanted blood that badly?" Finn rubbed his injury.

"I hear blood gets mascara out." Daria returned. The two paused quietly for a moment. They seethed at each other, angry at the insults they had endured. Part of Finn wanted to tell her that siccing the Fashion Club on her was pretty low of him, even though she deserved it. But he would say nothing. Admitting that to Daria was a sign of weakness, and there was no way he'd be weaker than his sibling.

"Are you headed home?" Finn asked.

"Yeah." Daria replied.

"I'm headed to Jeffy's. You can tell Mom that." Finn stated.

"Yo, come on, let's go." Jane walked over from the house towards Daria.

"_Wow, I forgot all about her." _Finn thought. That comment Tori had made threw him for a loop, and he'd have to put Jane on hold until he was sure he was bringing his A-game. Daria walked away without a word.

"Good night, Jane." Finn smiled at her. Jane turned around and looked him in the face.

"Yeah, good night, Finn." Jane did not smile, but she acknowledged him, as she turned to follow Daria.


	4. Mall Has It All

"Can you believe it!" Finn was extremely excited when the family sat down at the dinner table. "It's so incredible I can barely breathe."

"We only need to push him over the edge. All together now." Daria sniped. She was in no mood for her brother's cheerfulness tonight.

"Oh, come on, Daria, even you can't see the bad about this new mall. The Mall of the Millenium, can you believe it. It's practically the largest mall in the country!"

"It's also almost two hours away, Finn." Helen lectured. "You can get all of your shopping done at the mall in town anyway."

"Not all of it. I mean, most of the things I wear on my dates can be gotten there, but a lot of the more casual stuff aren't sold just anywhere, and the stuff that is there just doesn't fit well. I mean, I have a very particular waist and it needs a well-tailored pair of camo pants." Finn protested "You can't just wear the cheap stuff."

"Finn, you're not going." Helen delivered.

"But it could be a reward! I mean, we're cleaning house in football." Finn pleaded. It had been about a month since Brittany's party, and Finn's life was a blur of parties and dates. Homecoming would be coming shortly, and Finn was already finalizing plans for Aunt Rita to attend, all without his mother's knowledge, of course. If Finn planned this well, Mom and Aunt Rita would never see each other. Those two feuded far worse than he argued with Daria, for at least Daria would just say something Finn wouldn't understand and shut up. No matter how many times Finn begged them, neither of the two would back down from each other.

"And just wait until November, Dad." Finn turned to Jake, whom he hoped would be his ally in this. "The guys and I have been practicing our fighting. When you see me in the ring, you're gonna be proud." Finn chuckled. Joey was an incredibly destructive, if crude, fighter, and he knew how to knock people out. Although Jamie and Jeffy weren't planning on joining the boxing team, the three men sparred frequently, and Finn found himself learning many new ways to fight effectively. Those three liked to fight, that much was true, and Finn found himself enjoying the fun, if a little off-put by Jeffy's extremely competitive nature, and Joey's violent one.

"I'm already proud, son." Jake praised.

"And you know, the mall doesn't have to be just about me, Dad. I'd actually love it if we went together. You know I think blue is a good color for you, but I think we can really bring out your jawline and complement your hair with a tea green shirt and a navy jacket. I can smell the clients." Jake's eyebrow raised.

"From what I've read, there's a store there for every sport you can think of. I know you've been looking for new clubs." Finn smiled genuinely. Although his principal goal was to get to the mall, he would have been delighted to help out his father choose a new wardrobe. A happy Jake always made Finn feel good inside. Jake actually looked intrigued. He looked at Helen, who returned his gaze with a fierce iron stare.

"Absolutely not." Helen returned.

"C'mon, Mom. I'm sure you'd dazzle the courtroom with..." Finn started, but Helen glared at him.

"It's not going to work, Finn." Helen returned. "We'll talk about it after you bring up your grade point average."

"Grade point average?" Jake asked.

"Agh!" Finn left the table in a huff.

* * *

Finn seethed in his room for a moment. How could his family not want to go to a mall like this. Even Daria would be bound to find something to interest her; there had to be bookstores of some kind there. But Daria would say she didn't want to go just to screw with him.

"_Dammit." _It always ended like this. No fun could be had at all with Helen Morgendorffer around. He briefly thought of calling Aunt Rita, but she wasn't going to be home. He just had to go, this was the shopping experience of the millennium, and he wasn't about to let something measly like his grade point average or his mother get in the way of it.

"_Besides, she wouldn't let me go even if I had Daria's perfect grades. I gotta think of my own way to do this. But how?"_

_

* * *

_

At school the next day, Finn decided, after booking a date with Tanya Crawford, that his buddies would be the best person to ask. Both Joey and Jeffy had cars, but, given that it was a hundred miles away, the group of them would have had to skip school to actually go there. That didn't bother Finn, he had skipped school a few times back in Highland. He didn't do it often, Lord knows his mother would have gotten suspicious, but perhaps three times a trimester, Finn would take a "mental health day." This was a perfect time to take one.

The real hard part would be getting the guys to skip. They did worse on their schoolwork than Finn did, and they may not have been able to afford it. And Finn had no idea if the guys would be interested in going to the mall. It wasn't as if there wouldn't be something for them to do; there were plenty of sporting goods stores and a huge-ass arcade.

But would they go for that? It couldn't hurt to ask.

"Dude, no way!" Joey stated once the group was in study hall. He didn't want to talk about it in class lest someone else eavesdrop on his plans. If Daria found out, Finn would be in hot water.

"Come on, dudes, it'll be fun. Skipping school, hitting the mall, scoping out the honeys." He asided the last one to Jamie, who was governed by all things girl-related.

"I've already been there." Jeffy stated. "It's not that great. I got so lost there it took me thirty minutes to find out where I parked."

"Hey, with all of us going, we could find it easy." Finn stated.

"Sorry, dude." Jamie stated. "It's not worth the risk. If my parents find out, I'm dead. They'd never listen to me if I was caught. Or anytime."

"Well, I guess I don't want to get you all in trouble with your folks. Don't worry about it, then." Finn sighed. He got up in order to get himself a soda. As he was at the machine, he was approached by none other than Sandi Griffin.

"Finn, I couldn't help but overhear. I understand you want to go to that new mall, the Mall of the Millennium."

"Yeah, but it looks like I'm outta luck. I'm not gonna ask my buddies to get in trouble for me if they don't want to."

"Finn, you don't have to worry. I was planning on doing the same thing with the Fashion Club. After all, staying on top of all the latest trends is more important than Mr. O'Neill mixing up the seating charts and thinking Tiffany was that disgusting weird girl you know." Finn chuckled.

"So it would just be us four?" Finn asked.

"Actually, there would be five, we got this guy I know to give us a ride there in his car. I'm certain we can make room for one more. After all, I do have the smallest waist and butt of all the girls in the club. I think Stacy needs to increase her workouts."

There was no way in hell Sandi was the thinnest in the club, but Finn let it slide. A trip to the new mall was here, and no one would be the wiser.

* * *

"I've called this meeting of the Fashion Club to order." After school, Sandi Griffin spoke to the two other members of the Fashion Club. Stacy eagerly sat and took notes, while Tiffany vacantly looked in a mirror and applied her eyeliner.

"I've invited someone else to join us on our trip to the Mall of the Millennium."

"Is it Brooke?" Stacy asked.

"Stacy...no." Tiffany stated. The pigtailed girl whimpered.

"Gee, Stacy, you must think that an outing with the Fashion Club can be given to anyone. Brooke has potential, but she is not even a junior member of the Fashion Club. No, I am of course talking about the handsome Finn Morgendorffer."

"Oh, really!" Stacy was enchanted.

"Of course, Stacy. Clearly a stylish man like Finn would definitely want to keep his wardrobe current. After all, it's not like Finn would wear something that was dated." Sandi emphasized the last syllable to make Stacy whimper again, reminded her of some of the things Stacy still kept in her closet.

"Maybe...he'll want to shop...for us." Tiffany did not take her eyes off of the mirror.

"Such desperation is not attractive, Tiffany. It makes you look like a golddigger." Sandi chided again. Now both women were in their place.

"I have a plan." Sandi stated. "There is an absolutely fantastic salon at the mall. We'll schedule hair and nail appointments for all three of us, and stagger the times so that Finn will be with each one of us. After all, Finn needs to know not only the Fashion Club, but it's members."

"Oh, Sandi, that's a great idea. You're so smart!" Stacy gushed. Sandi smiled.

"_These two won't know what hit them. You're all mine, Finn." _Sandi thought to herself. The first phase of her plan was complete.

* * *

When the day rolled around to hit the mall, Finn was eager. His parents and Daria would have already left for work or school, and he'd take a leisurely stroll to Sandi's house. Once all were assembled, they would head out to the mall and arrive around ten. Apparently, the girls had scheduled a day of beauty, but since their appointments overlapped, he'd have about half an hour with each of them individually.

This was perfect. The Fashion Club, like many other girls, had been sending him gifts like the others, but they were all generic things. Team t-shirts, flowers, and those sorts of things. They hadn't dated him yet, so he didn't blame them. But now was the time to remedy that. After all, if the girls knew his dimensions, they'd know exactly what clothes to pick out.

"_Neck, sleeve, height, waist, inseam. I think that should do it." _Finn thought. These girls were clearly looking to score some points with him, and he wasn't about to begrudge them that. He just hoped they were more interesting in person than they were as a group.

"_What will you do, Stacy?"_ The pigtailed Stacy Rowe had been on Finn's mind a lot lately, moreso after Brittany's party. There was no doubt in his mind that Stacy was nice. Pleasant and friendly, she was the only one of the Fashion Club to directly engage Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, and had a unique nice thing to say about each of them, even though she was obviously more interested in Finn himself. But she clammed up so quickly whenever Sandi so much as breathed in her general direction. Finn had tried to speak to her alone before, but whenever he tried, Stacy clammed up just as easily, and when she did speak, ended up saying something stupid, and then immediately started belittling herself.

Finn had no desire to date her, that he knew. But he had no desire to string her along like he did for the other girls. Other girls played games and tried to manipulate men into fighting for them, causing havoc and pain merely because they wanted to feel hot. But not Stacy, Stacy would never let people fight.

"_I suppose I'll figure that out when we get to the mall." _

_

* * *

_

Finn wanted the drive to the mall to be quiet, and for the most part, the girls obliged. Tiffany was too busy applying her makeup to notice anything else in the world. Stacy was smiling pleasantly in the backseat, clearly enjoying the idea of spending the day together with the group. Sandi was surprisingly very quiet, which was the biggest mystery of all. Normally, Sandi was sniping or flirting. While the quiet was not unwelcome, it was a little terrifying.

Finn had never met the fifth member of the party, and he declined to speak or even introduce himself.

"_Must be a hell of a conditioning, Sandi." _Finn chuckled to himself. Finn rode shotgun and tried to mull over what clothes he wanted to garner out of this trip. At first, Finn offered Sandi shotgun, as this was her trip, but she declined, and gave it, surprisingly, to Stacy, off all people.

"After all, we'll want to save as much space as possible since there will be three of us sitting in the back. I think the largest of us should get her own seat." Sandi's statement had made Stacy whimper so much, it actually pissed Finn off.

"It's a nice compliment." Finn was able to calm himself down. "But I've got the biggest butt out of all of us. It's okay, I'll admit it. Why don't I take the front, then?" Although Finn's statement did not calm down Stacy, he didn't intend to at the time. After all, Sandi would probably just shoot her with another snipe if he did.

* * *

"It's huger than I could have ever imagined." Finn noted. The mall was freaking gigantic, easily the largest building Finn had ever seen.

"I didn't even think that many stores existed." Tiffany stated.

"It's beautiful." Stacy actually looked to have tears in her eyes.

"Let's stop by the salon first." Sandi stated. "That's the only set plan we have today."

"Good idea." Finn stated, as he picked up a map. His lip started to tremble as he read it.

"I have no clue where anything is." Finn wondered if he was even holding the map right side up.

"I can help you!" Stacy came in close to look at the map.

"We're going to Scissor Wizard, which is area 4, section burgundy, level 4. You should really get a burgundy bandana, Finn, it would make the perfect neck accessory!"

"Stacy, you are going to make us late." Sandi stated. "I believe that the Fashion Club has already had a meeting regarding the importance of punctuality the last time Finn joined us." Stacy whimpered yet again.

"And besides." Sandi stepped closer to Finn and placed a finger on his neck. "It should be quite obvious that alizarin would be a more appropriate color for Finn. Burgundy is so dated."

"Yeah...don't you know that?" Tiffany stated.

"Weren't there going to be hair appointments?" Finn asked. This had gone on long enough. He lead the way into the mall, briefly forgetting he still had absolutely no idea how to get to the store.

* * *

The appointments had been scheduled so that Tiffany was to go first at the salon. Stacy's appointment was booked very close to Tiffany's, which meant Stacy had to wait in the salon. After everything was clear wit h the sylists, Finn and Sandi left the store.

"Where shall we go first?" Finn asked.

"There is a marvelous store that sells high quality accessories only in the colors black and white. I need to pick up a new purse, and I'm certain there will be much we can get for you, Finn."

"I have been wanting a new scarf."

"The art of scarves is lost on men today. I am so glad to see that it is still alive. Let's waste no more time." Sandi led Finn down a veritable maze of hallways and finally led him to a store called White Horse, Black Box. True to it's name, it carried nothing other than the colors black and white.

"May I help you?" A woman in her mid-twenties, dressed in a black business suit and a set of white pearls, addressed the duo.

"Why, certainly. The two of us are looking for a few accessories." Sandi, to Finn's surprise, was actually polite to the woman.

"Look no further, the two of you are in the right place. Looking to be a matching couple?" The woman asked.

"My friend Sandi is looking for a new purse. I saw a few in the window as we came in." Finn quickly jumped in. He did not want this woman, even though he did not know her name, and he might not ever see her again, to think that he and Sandi were an item.

"Certainly. Let me get a few for you. Please, take a seat, help yourself to some water." The woman darted off, and the two took a seat.

* * *

"Wow, Finn, you are such a gentleman. Normally when I am out with Stacy and Tiffany, they always get their own accessories first. They can be so selfish at times." Sandi poured two glasses of water.

"Sandi, your mother seems to be a very professional woman." Finn commented.

"Mom is a very poised person, and I learned a lot from her." Sandi seemed genuinely, and Finn wondered if Linda Griffin was close to her daughter. Did that make her a heartless witch too?

"And your father? I never met him."

"My father is an accountant." Sandi stated.

"I think your family has a lovely house." Finn smiled at her. His charms were working in overdrive.

"Gee, Finn, you are the most considerate man I have ever met. My dates never ask me questions about me or my family." The saleswoman returned with purses.

"Here are a few made in Milan." She eagerly showed off some merchandise.

"Such a fantastic city." Sandi eagerly looked at the purses. "Unfortunately, it seems as though these purses were designed in the ghettoes there." The sales lady looked a bit aghast at Sandi's antagonistic reply.

"Uhh...Sandi, that one purse with the silver clasp would go great with a light colored dress."

"Perhaps." Sandi seemed surprisingly mellowed out when Finn spoke to her. "But the strap is too thick. Perhaps you have something similar to this one with a spaghetti strap?" The sales lady disappeared again. Finn sighed. It almost seemed as though Sandi could be halfway decent, but her total cruelty of the sales clerk set Finn the wrong way. Everyone knew that a good relationship with sales clerks led to discounts.

"Finn, it truly is a pleasure to see you have such a thorough eye." Sandi praised. "Stacy and Tiffany would never have noticed that."

"Stacy and Tiffany are not here. We don't have to discuss them." Finn replied, desperately trying to avoid the contempt Sandi had for the two of them. The sales lady returned again with a new purse.

"This is the closest one in the store." She held it up timidly. Sandi placed it on her shoulder.

"That's actually pretty good, Sandi." Finn was determined to end this quickly, lest another outburst to the sales lady make things even more insufferable.

"Very well." Sandi replied. "I think this is the best that can be done. Now, Finn, are you ready?"

"Yeah. I need a scarf, a white one, to go with an outfit I'm planning to wear on a date soon."

"What are the colors." In contrast to the associate's demeanor with Sandi, she was quite eager with Finn.

"Black and tan." Finn replied. "It looks great, but it's missing something. Needs some contrast, and it won't be accommodated with a tie. Thus, scarf."

"You do know your apparel." The woman replied. "Right this way." She led Finn over to the section with the whites, and eagerly showed him scarf after scarf. He settled on one quickly, lest Sandi evoke another response from the sales lady.

"This will be all, then." Sandi stated. "To the register, then." Sandi headed over to the register, while Finn started to fumble for his wallet.

"Finn, do not worry about the cost. It would be terribly rude of me not to treat my guest."

"Oh, Sandi." Finn smiled. "That's really not necessary. It would be bad form of a guest not to treat his host."

"I insist." Sandi returned. "After all, I do not wish your opinion of the Fashion Club to drip. Stacy and Tiffany can be quite ungracious, and I wanted to make sure you at least had somewhat of a high opinion of our class. Consider it as a thank you for being my personal shopper."

"Well, I can't let you leave completely empty-handed." Finn replied. "Tell you what, after you pick a dress for that purse, we'll head to that Italian place to show off. Just you and me."

"Oh, my, Finn, that sounds positively delightful. Let us check our schedules later." Sandi handed the clerk her mother's credit card. Finn laughed again as the two of them walked back to the boutique. Sandi was now like every other girl: shallow, vain, content to ruin others. How could the other two girls endure such insults from her? She was worse behind their backs than she was to their faces.

But it no longer mattered now. Sandi was now another gift-giver to add to the pile. Although his mercenary tactics for getting gifts was legendary, Finn sometimes knew he had to spend money in order to make money. A date for two, particularly for such a waifish girl, would be far less than the prizes received as a thank you, not to mention the later gifts he would receive as she begged for another.

* * *

Back at the salon, Sandi switched places with Tiffany. Finn had a few ideas on what else he wanted to buy, but Tiffany was only interested in checking out this mall's Cashman's and their Junior 5 division. Finn wondered if Tiffany would notice that the clothes here were the same as they were back home.

"What do you think...of my hair?" Tiffany asked once the two of them were browsing women's wear.

"It's lovely." Finn stated.

"What about...my nails." Tiffany showed up her now-styled nails.

"They're a lovely length, and the color is a good choice."

"Do you think I look good in shift dresses?" Tiffany asked.

"Uhhh...yeah, your waist works well for it."

"Should I cover my neck, or expose my neck?" Finn was starting to get annoyed with Tiffany's questions. Between her low, slow voice and her constant neurotic personal questions, Finn wondered if he had adopted an infant. Tiffany soon grabbed her selection and headed to the fitting room to try it on.

"Does this make me look fat?" Tiffany asked as she emerged from the fitting room in an orange and blue combination.

"No." Finn replied sincerely. Tiffany went back into the dressing room.

"Does this make me look fat?" Tiffany emerged in a shift dress.

"No." Finn stated. "Come on, we gotta head back." Tiffany went straight back into the dressing room.

"Do I look fat in this?" Tiffany emerged again with yet another outfit on.

"Tiffany, I gotta use the bathroom, can we hurry this up." Finn was clearly agitated with the entire experience. She stared at him vacantly as if she didn't hear him.

"No, Tiffany, you don't look fat." Finn stated. Tiffany returned to the dressing room yet again.

"_You are freaking kidding me__!" _Finn stated. Tiffany emerged from the dressing room in half-a-dozen different outfits. By the time the 6th one came around, Finn could no longer differentiate.

"Why don't you keep on trying outfits, I've got to use the bathroom and pick up Stacy." Finn pleaded. He darted off without another word.

"_No way. No. Freaking. Way. You couldn't pay me to go on a date with that bitch." _Finn dashed out from the store as quickly as he could. It wasn't too hard to get away; Tiffany probably didn't even notice he had left.

Finn had dated some pretty shallow girls in his time, but this one took the cake. Even Sandi could inflect her voice and talk about other people, even in insults.

* * *

After a quick stop at the bathroom, he made a quick dash to Scissor Wizard to pick up Stacy.

"Hi, Finn." Stacy smiled. "Where's Tiffany?"

"She's...uh...still trying on something. Must be complicated. We'll get her later. Where should we go?"

"Well...what do you want to do?" Stacy reversed pleasantly.

"I think we should follow your idea. Didn't you say I needed a bandana?" Finn stated.

"Oh, that was an awful idea." Stacy said sadly. "I'm sorry, Finn, I should have known burgundy was out. I'm so stupid!"

"Hey, hey, Stacy, it's fine. I'm sure when we get to the store, you'll be able to pick it out just fine."

"Oh...but I'll just mess up, I know it." Stacy shook like a palm tree in a windstorm.

"Let's just get moving." Finn sighed. He hoped this wasn't indicative of her as a shopping partner.

* * *

Bandana Explosion was a store that solely marketed such headwear. Finn didn't even think it was possible to have a store that sold just that. But, sure enough, floor to ceiling was stocked with bandanas in just about every color Finn could imagine.

The sales associate was dressed garishly in a punk rocker fashion. He looked almost with disdain at the two people coming in.

"May I help you?" He asked.

"I need a bandana, I hope I'm in the right place." Finn cracked a joke, but the man did not seem amused.

"Try 'em on." The man stated. "Let me know when you're ready to purchase." Finn decided to steer away from the red-shaded bandanas, lest Stacy have another outburst.

"Let's look at blue ones." Finn stated. Stacy nodded.

"What do you like, Finn?" Stacy asked. Finn picked up bandanas in his hand, and held them against his shirt sleeve to test the colors.

"Hmmm...sapphire's nice, but I like this Air Force Blue. Which is better, Stacy?" Finn asked.

"Anything looks good on you, Finn." Stacy smiled.

"Thanks. But which looks best."

"Umm..." Stacy started to get nervous again.

"Never mind." Finn sighed. He was getting irritated.

"I'm so sorry!" Stacy apologized profusely. That was getting annoying too, Finn thought, but if he continued, she'd just be apologizing all day.

"So, Stacy, tell me something." Finn kept looking through the bandanas. "Why do you hang around the Fashion Club?"

"Because everyone loves us. We tell them what's wrong with their outfits." Stacy replied. "That's what Tiffany says, at least."

"Does Sandi always say things like she did about your choice of bandana?"

"Of course!" Stacy was cheerful, which caused Finn to cock an eyebrow. "That's how I know Sandi cares, because she's always correcting me."

"_You can't be serious." _Finn thought. But Stacy's eyes told Finn that yes, she was indeed.

"Stacy, when was the last time Sandi went on a date?" Finn asked. This girl had to see just how toxic her "friendship" with these girls was.

"Just last Friday." Stacy eagerly replied.

"And Tiffany?"

"Last Wednesday."

"And you?" Finn got to the question he wanted to ask. Stacy paused.

"Well...uhh...it was...oh God!" Stacy exclaimed again. "I'll never be as popular as they are! I didn't have a date on my 14th birthday!" Stacy was close to tears.

"_Well, Finn, you're just on fire today." _Finn chastised himself. _"Go ahead, make her cry. You got time before Sandi's done."_

"Look, Stacy..." Finn started, but the girl was too far gone to listen to him, sniveling him and belittling herself in a muttered tone. He had no idea what to do next; guys never acted this way. He felt genuinely bad about his careless handling of the situation. He had to get her to stop. He quickly picked both bandanas and paid for them without a word.

"Stacy, everything's all right. Here, take a look. I got the Air Force one for me, because sapphire looks better on you." He tried to placate her using the cheesiest, sappiest come-on lines he could think of. It would be a good color to match Stacy's skin tone, although it was not a good idea to wear it with this outfit..

"Really?" Stacy got out between sobs.

"Yes. Now, let's get some food. You look hungry." Finn smiled.

"Oh, God, I am fat!" Stacy moaned again. Finn slapped his hand to his head. This girl was a piece of work.

* * *

Finn didn't want to stop by the salon to get Sandi, but he realized that he would have to; she was the one who knew the guy driving. After getting her, the group settled down at the food court.

"Hey, where's Tiffany?" Stacy asked. She had cleaned herself in the bathroom, and now looked like nothing ever happened in the bandana store.

"I am certain she shall be along." Sandi was eager to minimize competition. "Stacy, I surely hope you remember your best table manners. We wouldn't want Finn to be embarrassed with your elbows on the table." Stacy left out more whimpering, her trademark noise.

"So, what're we getting?" Finn asked. He was starved, and eager to have food in Sandi's mouth, as it would stop the annoying insults. The girls went in line for salads while Finn settled for a burger and fries.

"Well, well, look who we have here." Finn heard a cold, familiar voice. He spun around fast to recognize Daria and Jane.

"What on Earth are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"What about you?" Daria returned. "We're here on a school trip."

Finn huffed. He wasn't about to get out of this one.

"We skipped school to come here." He admitted.

"Wow. Incredible. After Mom made such a big deal about your grade point average." Daria teased.

"Okay, name it. What's it going to take?"

"Wow, I never thought your brother was so direct with bribes." Jane commented.

"It's an acquired talent." Daria commented. "But sorry, you don't have anything I want. At least not something as valuable as the satisfaction of you being punished."

"I'll buy your damn cheese fries." Finn sighed.

"It's a start." Daria stated.

"I've only got thirty bucks left." He stated, opening his wallet to prove his point.

"Well, give me what's left after you buy the food, that'll work." Daria smiled. She clearly was enjoying this.

"You enjoy torturing your own flesh and blood?" Finn stated. Daria didn't answer.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"First off, I want a ride home. I'm not getting back on that bus." Daria stated.

"Okay, easily done." Finn stated.

"And second, there are a few chores around the house I need done."

"I already mow the lawn, take out the garbage, and clean the bathroom. You get the wimp chores." Finn returned.

"Then it shouldn't be hard." Daria folded her arms. Finn groaned.

"Alright. Done. Be ready in 15 minutes."

"You in that much of a rush to get out of here?"

"I was just shopping with Tiffany. Right now, I'm looking for any excuse." Finn stated. He ordered food for Daria and Jane, and went back to his table. He was now in no mood for conversation, and did not listen to Stacy or Sandi.

* * *

But he realized he was going to have to speak to them to get Daria and Jane a ride home.

"Hey, girls. I'm thinking this venue is tapped." Finn stated.

"Oh, why?" Stacy fidgeted. "Was it the shirt I wore, is that upsetting you, Finn? Because I told the cashier I wanted an all..." Stacy started into another rant.

"Stacy!" Sandi silenced her. "I think Finn has had his fill of the walking fashion disasters filling this mall. All of these old people are so disgusting. Very well, Finn, let us depart."

"Yeah, and I...err...we need to give my sister and her friend a ride back."

"Your sister?" Stacy asked.

"She was the girl you gave the makeover to at Brittany's party."

"Why would that weird girl be riding with us."

"Because she's got our number, and she's blackmailing us." Finn stated. He informed them of the field trip Daria's class had taken.

"Get revenge later if you want, but right now, we need to worry about not landing in hot water." Finn stated.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Finn." Stacy said sympathetically, and Finn smiled at her.

"Very well, we shall do this as a favor for you." Sandi stated. "And I'm sure an appropriate revenge may be given to that weird girl for you later."

"Looking forward to it." Finn smiled an evil smile.

"Ummm...do we really need revenge?" Stacy asked. "I mean, she is your..."

"Stacy." Sandi glared at her, and Stacy shut up quickly.

* * *

It was difficult to squeeze back into that guy's car with Daria and Jane. Finn wondered privately if they should have just left Tiffany back at the department store. She didn't even notice Finn had left her. Sandi took the front seat, while the rest of the group had to squeeze into the backseat.

"This may not have been one of my more brilliant plans." Daria admitted. Finn said nothing, lest she try to get more chores out of the deal. Once he got himself into a halfway decent position, he stared out the window and his mind started to wander. But this thoughts soon drifted back to Stacy, just as they had when he was going to the mall. This time spent alone with her hammered in the truth that she was certainly no friend to Sandi Griffin. She was a toady, or whatever the word was, a whipping girl. Finn had a chance to appraise her looks while at the bandana shop, and it was clear to him that Stacy had the potential to be infinitely more attractive than Sandi, and she could be the one with the most dates. But Stacy's clothes, although fashionable, almost seemed dumpy on her. Her attire was probably decided by Sandi, who assuredly would be making sure that Stacy did not look hotter.

But that wasn't what was bothering Finn. What truly concerned him was that he was feeling this way in the first place. Stacy flew in the face of everything Finn had known about girls. She wasn't cruel like Sandi, or unpleasant like Daria. She didn't have ridiculous standards like Finn's mother, and she wasn't so ridiculously self-absorbed like Tiffany. Aunt Rita was the only other woman like that, but Aunt Rita and Stacy were different. As much as Finn loved his aunt, she would fight with his mother every time they were in the same room, and Finn hated that. He hated that they fought, because his name came up frequently.

"_That's your thing, isn't it, Daria." _He condemned his sister mentally. But Stacy did not fight like Aunt Rita. She had a kind word for everyone, even for Sandi. Perhaps there'd even be one for Tiffany too. It didn't make sense to Finn. Guys were like that: they didn't play games or screw around. If you and another guy had a row, you either had a man-to-man about it, or you took it outside and spoke with your fists. And then it was done, there was no reason to discuss it further. It wasn't exactly like that with Stacy either, and Finn found himself fascinated.

Sandi dropped off Daria, Jane, and Finn at the Morgendorffer residence. The two of them walked down the street, presumably to Jane's house. Finn, however, immediately went upstairs and changed so he could work out. These...feelings he was having were troubling him, and he wanted to be too exhausted to think. He had no idea what to do anyway.


	5. What Kind of Model?

Finn sat in the back of Mr. O'Neill's class, doodling in his notebook. It was a procedure he had been repeating ever since school started.

"One of the greatest mysteries of Hamlet has always been the identity of the Third Murderer sent to kill Banquo and Fleance." Mr. O'Neill's voice would almost be soothing if it wasn't for his pathetic eagerness.

"Some have suggested it to be the Lady Macbeth." Mr. O'Neill stated. "Does anyone here agree or disagree?" A few brains in the front of the class raised their hands. But the teacher scanned the back of the room.

"Finn?" He asked.

"I didn't do it!" Finn's doodle was wrecked, and Finn had no idea where the class was discussing.

"Ummm...Macduff!" Finn shouted.

"You...think the murderer is Macduff?" Mr. O'Neill tilted his head at the answer.

"Ummm...sure. Wasn't he, like, not at the banquet in the next scene?" Finn could barely remember the play they were reading, but he did remember some banquet scene with a ghost and that was the only person who wasn't there. It seemed to get Mr. O'Neill off of his back. Before Mr. O'Neill could transition into the next topic, however, the door to the classroom opened, and in stepped Ms. Li, along with two people Finn had never met before. A tall, somewhat attractive woman and a man with bleached hair.

"I hope the learning is going well, everyone?" Ms. Li asked rhetorically.

"Angela, who are these people?" Mr. O'Neill asked. Ms. Li ignored him, and addressed the class.

"I am pleased to introduce to you students Ms. Ramonica DeGregory of Amazon Models."

"Romonica!" The woman corrected, rolling her tongue to emphasize Ms. Li's mistake. "And this is my assistant, Claude." Ms. Li left the room, leaving the two guests to survey the students.

"Well, let's get a good look, shall we." Claude started to walk down the rows of desks, checking out the girls.

"What the hell is going on?" Finn asked Jeffy, who sat beside him.

"No clue." Jeffy stated. Joey, who sat behind Jeffy, shook his head as well.

"Well now!" Claude stopped a few desks in front of Finn, where the Fashion Club sat.

"This looks to be promising. You there." He pointed first to Sandi.

"Yes?" Sandi asked.

"You've got a good look, sweetheart. What's your name?"

"Sandi."

"Sandi, could you do a little runway for me?" Claude asked. "Just walk to the back of the room and then back here."

"Certainly." Sandi seemed eager to be viewed by the crew. She strutted following Claude's instructions. Claude made a few lip-smacks.

"Work it, Sandi!" A woman's voice came from near the desks. Sandi kept her gaze trained on Claude as she walked back to her desk.

"You've got potential." Claude praised. He then moved to Stacy, who sat right behind Sandi.

"And you?" Claude asked.

"Um...I'm Stacy. Nice to meet you." Stacy was nervous, but tried to be polite.

"Let's see that face." Claude leaned forward on Stacy's desk and stared into her eyes. Stacy appeared to be going into a panic attack.

"You've got such a stellar face. It can handle makeup well, you are a veritable canvas of creation."

"Oh...really." Stacy seemed ecstatic by the compliment.

"It helps when you have to wear so much of it normally." Sandi sniped. Stacy didn't appear to have heard her. That was probably for the best, Finn thought. Claude started going talking with the rest of the girls in the class, looking at them, asking them to turn, or remove their jackets, or walk.

"What is going on here?" Mr. O'Neill asked the woman, Romonica."

"We are from Amazon Modeling Agency, and your principal has asked us to scour this high school for suitable talent." There was much condescension in Romonica's voice.

"Oh, my." Mr O'Neill gasped, his remark to everything. Romonica joined Claude, and the two started bantering for a bit amongst themselves, pointing at various girls.

"Did you see the way they looked at us." Stacy dished to the other Fashion Club girls.

"It seem our effort has been rewarded." Sandi chuckled.

"He said my face was a canvas. Ooh, I love art." Stacy was very happy.

"So some talent scouts are scoping out models?" Finn asked to his buddies.

"Looks like it." Jeffy stated.

"Wonder if we can watch them work. All the hot babes." Jamie was eager.

"Models are different, stupid. Some of the pictures are just really weird." Joey stated. "I saw one girl covered in nothing but purple paint."

"Where's the bad part?" Jamie asked.

"And then there were girls in those big poofy wigs and dresses like those chick flicks set in like, Shakespeare times."

"So what? Wonder if they'll let us watch." Jamie was excited, and Finn sighed a bit. The mere promise of girls was enough to get him going.

"Now, girls. I want you to write down your telephone numbers for us. We will be having an open class tomorrow, and Claude and I will be discussing which of you lucky girls will be taught on stage. We'll of course need to discuss this with your parents first."

"And don't forget." Claude added. "The class is open, so everyone here can watch. After all, ladies, we wouldn't want your boyfriends to miss seeing you posing on stage." The two then left the room.

* * *

"Oh, well, congratulations to all of you ladies." Mr. O'Neill praised. "I think it's fantastic that you girls have the..." He started on another one of his sappy speeches, and Finn toned it out.

"Hey, Finn." Stacy turned to face him. "Would you like to come and see us pose?"

"Stacy, we haven't been accepted into the class yet." Sandi reminded. "After all, it would be embarrassing to invite Finn only to have him watch someone else on the stage."

"Oh, God!" Stacy started moping again.

"Well, Finn." Sandi turned her attention to him. "I sincerely hope you would attend if we are selected for the class."

"Well...why don't you let me know tomorrow." Finn replied. "I'll keep my schedule clear just in case."

"It will be fun." Tiffany stated.

"I hope we all get in." Stacy stopped her sobbing.

"I hope so as well. We all get in, and then, may the best woman win." Sandi stated, although Finn could detect the insincerity in her voice, although perhaps that was just because he knew how Sandi acted.

"I'm gonna come!" Jamie stated.

"Really, Jamie?" Stacy seemed excited.

"I'll bring cameras." Jeffy stated. Joey also stated his approval. The bell rang as soon as they finished speaking. Finn packed up his bags.

* * *

"That guy was kinda making weird eyes at me." Finn stated to his friends.

"Are you gonna come, Finn?" Jamie asked.

"Didn't I already answer that?" Finn asked.

"No." Joey pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Finn chuckled. "Yeah, I'll probably come."

"All right!" Jamie cheered. "Free hotties, can't wait!"

* * *

Finn informed his family about the modeling class at dinner.

"Finn, you're not thinking of taking this class, are you?" His mother asked as they ate some lasagna.

"It was only extended to the girls." Finn replied. "I'm just showing up."

"Oh."

"Shame, really. And I'd look so good on the cover. You do know there's a men's version of _Vogue, _right. Wonder if I could pose naked covered in cinnamon-sugar like I'm a donut or something." Finn teased, knowing he'd get a reaction from his mother.

"Jake, would you tell Finn not to kid about such a...vulgar profession?" Helen stated.

"Uhhh...Finn, did you take the sports page?" Jake clammed up.

"Relax. I mean, I'm just going as a friend. You know, a show of support and all that. Besides, it's not like I have dates that early in the day."

"Oh..." Helen calmed down. "Well, it is nice that you are showing such support for those friends of yours."

"You're so supportive, Finn." Jake smiled at his son. Finn looked across the table and noticed Daria had been silent the entire time. Helen picked up on it.

"What do you think about the modeling class, Daria?"

"The entire thing is a sell-out by Ms. Li to pay for bullet-proof skylights and encourages teenage girls that nothing in the world can't be solved with a size zero and fancy clothes."

"They didn't pick you, did they?" Finn laughed, although he didn't expect anything different.

"They asked me a few questions and looked me over." Daria stated. "And then I told them to shove it, in a much nicer way."

"When did you ever care about being nice?" Finn stated. Daria didn't answer. "And besides, they were looking at me too, and I'm not even a girl. What does that tell you."

"You need an evening gown for your birthday?" Daria returned.

"That's enough, you two." Helen lectured. "Finn, I think it's wonderful that you want to support your friends like that."

"Of course!" Finn smiled as he left the table.

"_After all, a free class where most of the girls there are already fawning over me. A smile and a 'well done' will make for some killer presents come the weekend. I couldn't have done it better myself."_

_

* * *

_

The modeling class was being held after school. At different points in the day, all three girls from the Fashion Club had informed Finn they were selected, as well as a few other girls that were still vying for his affections. Finn expected the class to be filled with lots of girls, but, to his surprise, not many girls other than the ones who spoke to him were on stage.

"_Maybe I don't know as much about the modeling world as I thought." _Finn thought as he took his seat. Romonica appeared to be lecturing the girls, giving them situations, and telling them to then walk to the front of the stage as if it was a runway. The girls tried to follow things as best as they could. Tiffany seemed completely vacant the entire time, and Finn thought little of her performance. Sandi actually did very well, and had an extreme air of confidence, her scowl disappeared from her face as she walked.

"_If I didn't know better, I might have thought she was a halfway decent human being." _Finn thought. Stacy performed exactly as Finn thought she would: possessing a relatively high degree of competence, but the girl looked so nervous, Finn wondered if she would faint. The walks continued of various kinds of about an hour.

"Fantastic, girls. Your runway work is astounding."

"But there is more to modeling than a good runway. You also need to know how to pose. And tomorrow, that is exactly what we will be doing. Girls, dismissed." Claude finished. The Fashion Club regrouped, and met with Finn and his buddies.

* * *

"That was actually well done, you guys." Jamie stated.

"Thanks, Jamie!" Stacy smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it.

"I think you all listened well. Sandi, I really believed it when you struck that pose at the end of the runway when she said to pose like you were telling your cheating boyfriend you were dating his hotter brother."

"Well, I've never had a boyfriend do something so horrible, but one must know how to get into character." Sandi replied.

"Come on, girls. Let's get a diet soda and talk about our runway. We need to be more prepared for tomorrow." Sandi continued to talk as Tiffany followed her.

"We should get going too." Jeffy stated. The guys started to leave as well, and Finn was left with Stacy.

"You...really liked it today, Finn?" Stacy smiled. A million things went through Finn's mind for responses. Finn didn't know very much about modeling, but he was an avid watcher of Fashion Week in New York City, and he knew how those girls looked. Stacy did not have the focus of those other girls, she seemed to scan the audience, locking her gaze only when she saw Finn. She also looked nervous as hell, which was causing her not to walk straight.

Finn tried to open his mouth, but nothing came out. The last time he tried to say something supportive to Stacy, it ended up nearly making her cry. He had to buy a gift to get her to stop crying; he never did that.

"Ummm...Stacy..." Finn started, but as soon as he started, Claude came up to the two of them.

"Class is over, Stacy." Claude stated.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Stacy stated, even though there was no reason for her to apologize.

"Is he your boyfriend? I saw you in the audience." Claude stated.

"I'm Finn." Finn stated. "And I gotta get going. I have a date tonight. See ya, Stacy." Finn darted away from the group, grateful to be interrupted. He needed advice from someone.

"_I've still got time before my date. Hope you're home, Aunt Rita." _

_

* * *

_

"That class ran a little late, didn't it, Finn." Helen was at home when Finn got home.

"Yeah, well, that's the model's life. Or at least the guy watching the models from the audience's life. I gotta get ready for my date tonight." He quickly darted upstairs and took a shower.

"Isn't it great he gets so many dates!" Jake cheered as he read the paper from the couch.

"Hmmm..." Helen stated.

"Honey?"

"It's fine, Jake." Helen stated. She couldn't tell Jake about this problem, not that he'd understand it to begin with. This girl Finn was going on a date with Helen knew nothing about. Name, grade, interests, anything. But Finn didn't care a thing about her, Helen was willing to bet.

"_Didn't I raise you better than that." _Helen thought. Where could Finn have learned to be so disrespectful to women. Certainly not from her, and Jake would never encourage cruelty; he would remind him too much of his own father.

"_It has to be from Rita." _Helen thought. But she didn't want to think about this now; Finn would never listen to her if she lectured him on that.

"Jake, did you see that manila folder I brought home?" Helen asked.

"I think you left it in the bedroom." Jake replied. Helen thought for a second as she retraced her steps, and realized he was right. She headed upstairs to get it, passing by Finn's room. His door was open a crack, and he appeared to be talking on the phone to someone.

* * *

"I know, Aunt Rita." She heard Finn's voice. "Yeah, I'm going on a date tonight. Carla Lister I think was her name. She got me two pairs of designer jeans last Tuesday, so you know, that's date-worthy."

"_Typical." _Helen thought. Rita would be encouraging Finn to exchange dates for gifts. Helen quietly pushed the door open a little more, but remained in the hallway so as not to be heard. She saw Finn, stripped down to his boxers, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Hang on a sec, Aunt Rita, I gotta put you on speaker." Finn went out of Helen's visual range, and heard something rustle around. He returned to the mirror holding a pair of socks, and not the phone.

"But anyway, Aunt Rita, that's not the reason I called." Finn sat down on his bed as he put his socks on. "I wanted to ask you about that Stacy girl. You know, the one I told you about."

"The nice one, you said." Helen heard Rita's voice from the speaker.

"Yeah, that's her. Anyway, I spent some time with her a while back and, wow, she's a piece of work." Finn chuckled as he started putting his socks on.

"She's messed up?" Rita asked.

"Well, I tried to you know, tell her she shouldn't be hanging around girls who say mean things to her, but she actually thinks that's a good thing, can you believe that?" Finn stated to the speaker.

"Some girls like that." Rita stated. Helen acknowledged that as true, but she hoped Finn wasn't doing such a thing.

"That's stupid." Fin n stated as Helen watched him go into his closet.

"So you tried to talk to her and she didn't listen?" Rita asked.

"Not a word." Finn emerged with a pair of tan-colored slacks. He went back to his bed and started to put them on.

"She's a pretty girl, and she should be getting all the dates. But there she is, letting Sandi just abuse her left and right, and she lets Tiffany walk all over her, of all people. I mean, if Tiffany's walking over you, you're just a coward."

"When you say she didn't listen, what exactly do you mean?" Rita asked.

"I mean I'm lucky if it goes in one ear and out the other." Finn zipped his pants up and started looping a belt. "I mean, half the time you say something to her, she's yelling at herself, beating herself up about something, thinking she's a horrible person. And that's...." Finn's voice trailed, and Helen heard his own voice falter.

"It...it really sucks, you know, Aunt Rita. It sucks that she doesn't know she's a great girl." He finished.

"And the other half of the time?" Rita asked.

"Heh. The other half is worse." Finn stated. "The other half of the time she feasting her eyes upon me."

"_I thought you liked that." _Helen thought.

"I thought you liked that." Rita echoed Helen's thoughts.

"I do." Finn went back over to the mirror. "But it's all wrong. I mean, she's so busy looking at me, she won't listen to what I have to say." Finn looked in the mirror again. To Helen's surprise, she saw a look of genuine dismay as he regarded his well-toned body.

"It's like a puppy that walks straight into a street lamp."

"Wow, you were right. She is a piece of work." Rita's voice sounded. Finn rummaged around in his drawer and put on a T-shirt.

"What do you think I should do, Aunt Rita?" Finn asked. "I mean, she's a nice girl, and she can be, like, Homecoming Queen and have all the boys. But she's happy being thrashed by those other girls.

Rita's voice was silent on the phone as Finn pulled out a black button-up shirt and started to fasten it. Helen crouched down, still hiding in the doorway, as she felt her own legs quivering.

"I'm not sure, Finn." Rita said as Finn started putting on a tan-colored jacket.

"It's okay, Aunt Rita. I don't know either. At least I could tell you about it." Finn stated. "That makes me feel a little better, at least."

"Well, at least I could help with that." Rita stated.

"Yeah. Not like I've got anyone else to talk to here. Dad...would get confused, and search for the paper or clean the attic or something." Finn remarked. Helen knew that was the case; Jake probably would be frightened if Finn came to him with girl trouble. Jake was still in military school when he was Finn's age, and Helen was willing to admit that Finn probably went on more dates than Jake had in his life.

"And it's not like I can talk to Mom." Finn remarked as he went back into his closet.

"Well, we both know about your mother." Rita remarked.

"Yeah." Finn noted sadly. "She doesn't care. It's not about lawerying, or Daria. She doesn't care about my problems." Finn emerged with a white scarf in his hands as he went back to the mirror and looked at his reflection as he wrapped it around his neck.

"She doesn't care about me." Finn was speaking very softly, and Helen could swear as she saw his reflection, there was a tear in his eyes.

"Finn, I didn't get that last thing you said." Rita stated. Immediately, Finn shook his head and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

"Nothing, I didn't say anything. I've got to get going now, Aunt Rita. I'll call you later. Love you!"

"Love you too, dear." Rita stated as Finn hung up the phone. He turned away from the door. Helen quickly got to her feet and scampered to her bedroom. Sure enough, the manila folder she was looking for was sitting on her bed. But she couldn't even look at the pages.

"G'night, Dad, don't wait up!" She heard Finn's cheerful voice call from downstairs.

* * *

Helen sat quietly on her bed for the longest time. She had thought her son was callous, cruel, incapable of looking at women as having emotions and feelings.

And all of a sudden, it was there. As if it had been there the whole time. Helen didn't know this Stacy any more than she knew the other girls Finn had dated. But, apparently, she was in a horrible relationship where some girl was unbearably cruel to her and Stacy seemed to thrive on it.

"_Finn was right, that is stupid." _Helen thought. The fact that Stacy didn't seem to notice this was hurting Finn. He desperately wanted to help her, and he didn't know what to do.

"_And I have an idea or two about the situation, Finn." _Helen thought. Helen had a knack for people, having worked in law for so long. A great teacher had told her that every business is half psychology, and Helen knew that this was true. She knew how to approach people who were difficult and abusive just as easily as she could with those who were meek and fragile. There were nuances and subtleties to pick up, tells and methods to learn when to drop and issue and when to press it. Definitely something to help this Stacy girl.

"_But Finn went to Rita." _Helen admitted painfully. Around his mother, Finn was a cold, cavalier man who tested her patience and showed contempt for every lesson she ever showed him. Around his aunt Rita, Finn was sweet, nice, considerate, affectionate, all of the things Helen wished for her son. And, if it wasn't for that last tidbit of conversation Helen had heard, she might have thought it was simple teenage aggression, acting out against his parents.

"_Mom doesn't care about me." _Finn's words echoed in her head. This was a lie, Helen knew. She loved her son and her daughter immensely. After fourteen years, how could Finn not know that?

"_Because you let Jake spend time with Finn, and thought it counted for both." _Helen thought. "_Because you spend so much time at the office. Because you spend more time with Daria. Face it, Morgendorffer, you already knew this. You knew this for years. Finn's even told you he thinks you want him to be Daria. How the hell could you think he respected you?" _

Helen had her reasons for a lot of things. She had to work long hours to impress her senior partners. Work was satisfying. Jake was fantastic with Finn. No one else could deal with Daria effectively.

Helen knew she loved her son. She would start a war for him without a second thought.

"_But he doesn't believe me. Finn hates me." _Helen tried not to cry for the longest time. She put her file away neatly on her dresser. She changed into her pajamas. She brushed her teeth, and slopped into bed. Once she turned out the light, however, she couldn't take it any longer, and sobbed into her pillow. It was the first time Helen had wept in years, maybe even a decade.

* * *

The modeling class did not have as many guests the next day, but all of the girls Finn knew were still on the stage. The girls were not walking as they were previously. Instead, Claude had a few props on stage and was teaching them about modeling.

"Always remember your product, girls. When you are posing for catalogs, it's all about you and the product. This leads to a happy client. Happy clients will contact your agent again, and your agent will remember it."

"Something to remember, girls. When you pose, you must always stand out, but stand out in a way that doesn't make the client think you're trying to upstage the other girls." Romonica added.

"So let's practice. Let's pretend all of you girls are modeling the clothes you are wearing. Act like you're best friends, and have been so since the beginning of time." Claude instructed. The girls all started to assemble close by.

"Who do you think is the best?" Joey asked while snapping pictures.

"So far it looks like Sandi." Jeffy stated.

"Stacy needs to focus." Finn stated.

"I know." Jeffy agreed.

"Hmmm...this isn't bad. But I think we need to change things around. Might we have some male volunteers, please?" Romonica turned to the audience. Jamie immediately rose his hand.

"I'll do it!" Jeffy eagerly rose his hand up to agree with his buddy. Joey shrugged, and rose his hand as well.

"You boys will be perfect." Romonica pointed at them.

"All right!" Joey and Jeffy high-fived, then all three of them clambered up to the stage.

"And what about you, young man." Claude pointed to Finn.

"Oh...well, I guess I'll do it." Finn tried to play it cool.

"Yay, Finn!" Stacy cheered. The other girls started to glare at her for her outburst, and she whimpered again. Finn climbed up on stage.

"One more..." Claude looked in the audience. "What about you?" He pointed way in the back. Finn followed Claude's gaze to see him looking at Kevin, who appeared to be consoling a sobbing Brittany.

"_What's she so upset about?" _Finn thought. "_Oh, probably because she's not on stage." _Claude invited Kevin to participate, and he agreed.

"All right, varsity power!" Jeffy chuckled.

"Lions rule!" Joey agreed.

"So, girls, pick one of these handsome devils." Claude instructed. All of the girls started to gravitate around Finn, except for a rather plump girl, who went towards Kevin.

"_What's she here for?" _Finn thought. "_Oh well, I guess plus size needs models too." _

"Pick a number, 1, 2, 3." Finn told the Fashion Clubbers. Tiffany guessed correctly, but Finn lied in order to be partnered with Stacy. She laughed nervously as Finn came over to her.

"Let's start with something simple." Romonica instructed. "Something catalog, just to open up with. I want the pair of you to act like you're old friends walking down the street." Finn had seen numerous catalogs from department stores, and knew exactly what they looked like. People laughing, chuckling, looking like they were having fun. It was easy for him to pose like that.

"Come on, Stacy. Think you're modeling for Junior 5. Remember the pictures on the standees." Stacy seemed to calm down a bit, and, although her pose was nothing special, it was passable.

"Well done, Sandi." Claude appraised her standing with Jeffy. "But these looks are all boring. We need to make things more exciting."

"_Exciting..." _Finn thought.

"Hey, I've got an idea. Come here, Jeffy!" Without even being asked, Finn grabbed Jeffy in a playful headlock.

"Whoa, dude!" Jeffy was surprised.

"Not bad, young man." Romonica was impressed. "We need to actually be touching each other, look like we're having fun."

"Nice going, Finn!" Jamie praised.

"But this is still catalog work." Claude noted. "We need to heat things up." Claude started looking at all of the guys. Jeffy looked a little creeped out.

"Yo, padre, eyes front." Jeffy stated when Claude started appraising him like he did with the girls back in class.

"You boys are quite attractive. Perhaps, Claude, we should have scouted out the males, too." Romonica stated.

"Hmmm..." Claude thought for a moment. "I think we need to heat things up a bit, make things more fun. Boys, would you find taking your shirts off, please." All of the guys looked at each other.

"Sure." Joey replied nervously.

"I guess." Jamie started to pull his shirt off. Soon all of the guys were shirtless, although Kevin was still wearing his shoulder pads.

"Now, back with your partners, boys." Claude instructed. Finn went back over to Stacy. Her face was a mix of excited and nervous as she regarded her now bare-chested partner.

"Now, girls, I want you to caress the bodies of your partner." Claude instructed. "Be bold and passionate, let your desires run free."

"_You can't be serious." _Finn thought. He had nothing against teasing the girls, and, in the locker room after practice, he, like many of the guys, talked a pretty big game. But right now, Finn never felt more uncomfortable. He'd never gotten further than a slightly open-mouthed kiss, and he had absolutely no desire to change that.

"Ummm..." Stacy looked just as nervous, but she stepped towards Finn and wrapped her arms around his back. As soon as she touched him, Finn felt his entire body run cold. His eyes grew wide.

"_This is too much." _He thought. "_But if I break off like this now, Stacy will start beating herself up again." _He wrapped his own arms around Stacy, one at neck heights and the other around her waist. He was so close to her he could feel her heart racing, and Finn knew his own heart was racing too.

"Now caress those bodies, look into their eyes." Claude instructed. Finn saw Sandi rubbing her hands on Jeffy's chest, and he looked just as uncomfortable as Finn felt. She saw Tiffany standing over with Joey, and he too, looked nervous as Tiffany vacantly traced the contours of his shoulders with her hands. Although Jamie was standing behind him, Finn could hear his buddy's nervous shallow breathing.

Finn held his breath, and tried to concentrate on Stacy. He didn't want to ruin her performance. He tried to relax, but he couldn't. Not wit h Stacy's hands tracing the grooves in his abs.

"Very good, Stacy." Romonica praised. Claude came over and started to look at the pair.

"Mmm..." Claude started looking, and Finn wondered who, exactly he was looking at: Stacy or himself.

"I...gotta use the bathroom." Finn couldn't hold his breath any longer.

"Really?" Claude seemed disappointed. Finn quickly grabbed his shirt and put it on.

"Yeah. Really." And without another word, Finn bolted from the stage.

* * *

Once in the bathroom, Finn washed his face. He focused on his face in the mirror, and concentrated on it until his breathing and heartbeat went back to normal. But not his mind, it raced a mile a minute.

"_Oh, God__!" _Finn was panicking, and it took several minutes to calm down. He'd held the hands of many a girl, embraced others. But never before had someone's touch made him feel practically numb.

"_Okay, it's true I never did it with my shirt off, but I don't think that was it. Not totally, anyway." _Finn thought. Stacy was having an effect on him, and Finn didn't know whether he liked or hated it. He hated the idea of a girl controlling him with his emotions. With their games and manipulations, it could cause untold devastation. But Stacy would never do something like that.

"_So, what is it?" _Finn thought. He walked out of the bathroom and ran straight into his buddies. They had all put their shirts back on.

"Oh, hey guys, what happened to the show?" Finn asked.

"Ms. Li broke it off." Joey stated. "She started yelling at the instructors and we decided to beat feet."

"_Oh, you fat ugly bitch, I love you." _Finn thought.

"So, what are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"You've been in the bathroom for five minutes, dude." Jeffy stated. "We were about to come in and see if you tripped and fell or something."

"Nah, I'm fine." Finn deflected.

"Dude, you bolted out of there like a bat out of hell." Jamie stated. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Finn replied. "It's just...uh...you know."

"We know what?" Joey asked.

"_Crap." _Finn thought.

"Well, uhhh...I just needed to use the bathroom."

"For five minutes?" Jeffy asked. All three guys thought he was acting weird. Finn wasn't about to admit he was nervous on the stage. He had an image to protect, what with all the locker room talk.

"Hey, we don't need to talk about this. I gotta...practice, coming up. Yeah, that's it. Big practice." Finn tried to deflect.

"Dude, we don't have practice today." Jamie stated.

"_Damn__!" _So nervous was Finn, he forgot that his friends were on the team, and would know when they had a practice.

"What's wrong, dude?" Joey asked.

"_Now what?" _Finn thought. There was no way he was going to get out of this. Not without embarrassment.

"_Take the slap to avoid the knockout punch." _Finn thought. He thought of a clever lie.

"I...well...I got a boner." Finn stated. The guys were silent for a moment.

"So?" Jamie stated. "I had one, too."

"It's embarrassing." Finn replied. "You're not supposed to. It's like getting one in math class."

"It was hot." Joey stated. "Nothing wrong with that. I get boners all the time."

"It's just puberty, dude." Jeffy added.

"That doesn't mean it's not embarrassing to get one in front of the girls." Finn reminded.

"Well, I guess." Jamie shrugged.

"Don't worry about it." Jeffy stated.

"Thanks." Finn chuckled. "I think I'm gonna head home." He waved goodbye to his friends, but then realized he left his backpack in the auditorium. The auditorium was empty when Finn went in, but after he grabbed his bag and started to head to the door, he heard a voice call his name.

* * *

Finn turned around to see Romonica and Claude on the stage.

"Yes, you, Finn." Romonica pointed at him. "Might we have a word with you."

"Uhhh...okay." Finn went back onto the stage.

"Errr...sorry if I messed up today." Finn scratched his head nervously. He had no idea what they'd want to talk to him about.

"Not at all, young man." Romonica stated. "I was quite impressed with you. You really knew what you were doing up there."

"_I did?" _Finn thought.

"The way you played with that redhead boy, it was almost like I was looking in a catalog." Claude stated.

"Oh, well, I see a lot of catalogs. I also watch Fashion Week, so, you know, I kinda see what you look for." Finn chuckled nervously. Claude stepped up close and grabbed Finn by the chin.

"What?" Finn stated. Claude said nothing, but tilted Finn's face a little.

"You do have an impressive look." Claude stated. "What a stunning face. I bet you melt many hearts, don't you." Claude let go of Finn's face, and started looking at his body. Finn was just as uncomfortable as he was posing with Stacy.

"What's going on?" Finn asked Romonica.

"Finn, will you be attending the next class?" Romonica asked.

"I think so. I mean, most of those girls are my friends."

"Finn, do you think you could show us how you walk?" Claude asked.

"Huh?" Finn was confused.

"I just want to see your talent. Come on, no fear, young man." Claude stated.

"I...suppose." Finn put his backpack down and strutted down the stage, trying to do it just as he saw the men do it at Fashion Week.

"Fantastic." Claude praised.

"Thanks." Finn chuckled.

"He's as good as that other boy, Kevin." Romonica thought.

"_Kevin?" _Finn thought. "_I didn't remember to look at him during the show. I guess he'd be more comfortable with that considering how much he cheats on Brittany." _

"Please show up to the next class, Finn." Romonica asked. "I think you have a lot of untapped potential and we'd like to see you again."

"Uhhh...okay." Finn stated.

"We'd like to ask your parents a few questions too." Claude responded. "Do you think I could get your number?" Finn wrote it down for him.

"Fantastic. Well, we'll see you tomorrow, Finn." Romonica noted. Finn grabbed his backpack, thanked the two of them, then headed home.

* * *

It was just before dinner when the phone rang. Helen just figured she'd let Finn answer it, as it would probably be for him, but after three rings, she picked it up.

"Hello!"

"I'd like to speak to Helen Morgendorffer." A woman's voice answered the phone.

"This is she."

"Ms. Morgendorffer, this is Romonica DeGregory of Amazon Modeling Agency." The woman stated.

"Oh yes, I know who you are." Helen stated.

"You are the mother of Finn Morgendorffer, correct?"

"Yes, Finn's my son." Helen stated. "May I help you."

"Ms. Morgendorffer, your son volunteered to assist us in our modeling class today, and I must say, I am extremely impressed with his talent."

"Oh, well, my Finn is a wonderful man." Helen stated.

"Indeed. Although we initially came to this school to scout out some female talent, I think your son might have what it takes. I'm around many of the world's top fashion models, and Finn has what it takes to stand out among the best of them.

"Your son has agreed to participate with us tomorrow in our class, and we were also hoping to potentially discuss things further with you. Is there a Mr. Morgendorffer as well."

"There is." Helen stated. "But aren't we jumping the gun on this. I mean, Finn's only fourteen."

"Fourteen is a prime age for modeling. Nothing is set in stone yet, but if Finn can truly rock that something special, I think there might be a bright future for him with Amazon."

"Well, let me discuss this with my son and husband, and we'll get back to you." Helen stated.

"Remember, Helen, these chances only come once in a lifetime. I hope to hear from you soon." Helen hung the phone up.

"_Wow, not exactly a call you were expecting, were you?" _Helen thought. Finn never told her anything about this. Of course, the last time Finn had talked to her about it, the class hadn't started yet.

* * *

Helen thought it was a stupid idea. The modeling world was full of sharks and people who would slit throats for a nickel. Finn would get eaten alive there.

"_What do you think about it, Finn?" _Helen thought. He joked about it the last time he talked with her, but Helen presumed that Finn would have also been approached by these people.

"_This is your opener, Morgendorffer." _Helen thought. "_Don't give Finn a chance to ask Rita for advice. Show him you care about him, dammit. You're the best person to talk to him about this." _Helen went up to her son's room, where she found him working out, like always.

"Finn?" She called. Finn noticed her in the doorway, and shut off his music.

"What is it?" Finn stated apathetically. Helen ignored it.

"I got a call today from Romonica DeGregory of Amazon Modeling Agency." Helen stated. She could swear she saw the color drain from Finn's face as he heard it.

"Oh. Well, I guess that's to be expected. She told me she'd call." Finn shrugged.

"_Not about to give me an inch." _Helen thought glumly. "_What else should I have expected." _

"So, go ahead." Finn stated.

"Go ahead and do what?" Helen asked.

"Tell me it's a vulgar profession and I shouldn't consider and that I should be focusing on my schoolwork and trying to get into a good college." Finn stated.

"Finn, I wasn't going to say that." Helen stated.

"Sure you were." Finn replied. "I mean, you aren't now because I said that, but that's what you want, isn't it?"

"Finn, all I want is for you to be happy." Helen protested.

"By turning me into Daria." Finn remarked absently. "And we're jumping the gun on this anyway. There's no guarantee they'll give me the contract, so don't worry about it. I probably won't get it."

Helen thought of her protest, as she would whenever Finn would say things like this, but she held her tongue. These knee-jerk protests just widened the gap between them.

"_Start small, Helen. Don't overextend yourself. You've crushed lobbyists who've been working for thirty years. You know how to talk to a fourteen-year-old boy." _

"Finn." Helen started.

"What is it, Mom?" There wasn't annoyance in his voice anymore. Instead, Finn almost sounded like he was desperately pleading. As if he was chained up and someone was sticking lit cigarettes in his arm, and he was begging them to stop.

"_Is talking to me that much torture for you, Finn?" _Helen nearly cried again. She desperately wanted to tell her son everything. That she heard him talking with Rita last night. She wanted to say that she cared about him more than anyone, and that she loved Finn and Daria equally, and only ever wanted him to become his own man.

But she couldn't. Finn would never listen to her.

"_Put up or shut up, Morgendorffer. Don't get scared. So you can't be direct. With children it's always a battle of attrition." _

"Finn, what do you think about this modeling thing."

"What difference does it make. I can't do it anyway, not without your approval. And you won't give me that." Finn stated.

"I didn't ask that." Helen stated. "You participated in class today, didn't you? What was it like?"

"Well, it was all about posing. We had...some fun." Finn stated. Helen knew he was lying. He didn't have as much fun as he thought he would.

"I mean, this is all I've been thinking about. You know, high-class fashion, lots of pretty girls, travel all over the world. People idolizing me from the runway." Finn was putting up shields, Helen reasoned.

"_Are you testing me, Finn? Or do you just want me to think you're shallow and vain so I'll leave the room in anger?"_

"Forget all that crap, Finn. I don't want to hear about that stuff. I want to hear what you want!" Helen was forceful, so much that Finn's eyes actually widened. He stuttered, completely unsure of how to answer. But Helen saw her son cross his arms across his chest, not in defiance, but almost as if in nervousness, each of his hands clutching the sleeve of his T-shirt on the opposite arm.

"_Finn, you don't normally wear a shirt when you work out." _Helen thought to herself. She saw her son's face, which would normally be flushed from exercise, turn white and pale. His mouth pursed with unease. Goosebumps appeared on his arms.

"You know, Finn." Helen's voice became softer. "You don't have to accept it if you aren't certain of it." To her surprise, Finn didn't respond at all. He normally would have been defensive in a heartbeat, stating that this was what she wanted all along.

Helen wondered if she should accept the fact that her son wasn't fighting her and do more later, or if she should press the issue. She knew that Finn was vulnerable right now, something was clearly weighing on his mind. It was the same way he looked when he said to the mirror that his mother didn't care about him.

"Finn, did something happen at the class that made you uncomfortable." Helen asked. It was the only thing that it could have been. Finn didn't answer her. Helen touched her son's shoulder, and it caused him to shiver, so she immediately withdrew it.

"I..." Finn started. His voice was trembling and nervous. Helen sat quietly, trying to coax an answer out of him. But a loud scream from downstairs caught the attention.

"Helen! I burned my hand on the stovetop!" Jake's voice shouted from downstairs.

"Dad?" Finn stated, his countenance changing completely. He bolted from the room, and Helen heard him quickly descend the stairs to check on his father.

"_Dammit, Jake." _Helen thought. She probably wouldn't be able to talk to her son more about this tonight. She'd have to discuss it with him tomorrow after that class. Helen went back over the conversation in her mind. She wasn't sure what was bothering Finn, whether it was about the modeling contract or not.

Helen resolved to make herself available. Finn was clearly either confused, hurt, or uncertain of something. Whether it had to do with the modeling contract, the problem he had with that Stacy girl, or something else entirely, Helen promised herself that she would convince Finn that she could be come to if he had a problem.

It almost sounded cruel in her mind to think it, But Helen knew, before anything happened with this modeling contract, she would convince Finn that she loved him.

* * *

Helen knew she would have to speak with Jake about the conversation with Romonica. The question was, how much should she reveal to him. Although Helen loved her husband immensely, him talking to Finn about the modeling contract would only serve to confuse the boy, and that was the last thing he needed right now.

"Wow. Just, wow." Jake had already changed into his pajamas, and the two were in bed.

"I don't know all the details, but the woman wants to meet with us after a class tomorrow that Finn will be in."

"Can you believe it. Our Finn, a top fashion model!" Jake was surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea."

"Jake, nothing is locked in yet, they might not even choose him."

"Just imagine if they do, Helen." Jake was very excited. "Traveling all over the world, the amazing salary, our son staring back at the world from a billboard on top of a skyscraper."

Helen was not as excited as Jake was. Modeling was a lot of work, and very harsh. The fashion world was fickle, and Finn would be out of work by the time he was 25, and that was being generous. Of course, Finn would probably accrue some decent money by that point, but he'd have a 9th grade education and nothing to do it with. There wouldn't be many opportunities open for him.

"_And then, I don't know if Finn even wants to do it." _Finn's deep insecurities during Helen's drilling bothered her. It may not have been related to the modeling agency, but Helen believed that it was.

Finn wouldn't talk to her about it. He would talk to his father or Rita, but Helen resolved not to let that happen. At least, not without herself there. Jake would definitely screw up and blurt out something nonsensical in an effort to be supportive. And Rita, well, Rita would encourage him without a second thought.

"Can you imagine, Helen. He'd meet so many people. Clients..." Jake rubbed his hands together.

"Let's discuss this later, Jake. We need to meet with this woman anyway."

* * *

The modeling class was right after school, so Helen made sure to come into the office early so she could take the time off. When she arrived at the school, Jake was already there, and the class was already starting. She took a seat beside her husband.

"What did I miss?" Helen asked.

"They were just standing together." Jake replied. Helen figured Jake didn't know enough about how this worked to give her accurate feedback. So Helen watched the event herself. Finn was on stage along with many young girls, and they were all arranged upon a couch.

"Picture this as your marquee." An older woman, probably Romonica DeGregory, as she sounded like the voice Helen spoke to yesterday, was instructing the crowd.

"Imagine it's the poster for a new fall sitcom." An effeminate man, probably Romonica's assistant, also lectured. "We want it to show togetherness and family, but with a bitter undercurrent that threatens to drive everything asunder. All without words, show that to me in your faces." The group of students clustered.

"Well done...well done." Romonica appraised. "Finn, you smirk is fantastic." Finn did not seem to respond to the praise. The group broke up to pose again. This time, several boys joined Finn on the stage, while the girls took a seat on the couch.

"I'm going to give you a word, gentlemen." Romonica instructed. "And I want you to pose in a way that shows it to us, both in a group sense, and an individual sense. The first one, is betrayal." The guys all posed. They stared daggers at each other, balled their hands into fists, and, to Helen, genuinely looked like they had just been hurt.

"Well done, Kevin." Claude instructed. "Jeffy, you look a little too angry and not enough hurt. Joey, wow. I wouldn't want to run into you in a dark alley."

"And the next word is brotherhood." Romonica instructed. The guys changed shape again, and looks of betrayal turned into camaraderie.

"Oh, Finn, fanastic!" Claude praised. "Jamie, you're about 90% there. A little more happiness." Helen watched the boys perform, and soon the girls were brought back out and starting posing in groups.

"Well now, let's all take 5 for a moment." Romonica instructed after 45 minutes passed. The group broke up on stage. Helen immediately went over to Finn once he broke off with his friends.

"Oh, Mom. I...I didn't know you'd be here." Finn seemed nervous again.

"I didn't want to interrupt anything." Helen replied. Finn was so caught up in what he was doing, he wouldn't have noticed her anyway.

"Finn, you were truly remarkable. Exactly like I thought you would be." Romonica came over to greet her pupil.

"Well...thanks." Finn smiled, but Helen detected the hesitancy in his tone. Something was still bothering him.

"So you must be Monica. I'm Helen Morgendorffer." Helen politely introduced.

"Romonica!" The woman rolled her tongue to emphasis Helen's mistake. "And it is a pleasure to meet you. Please, why don't we find a private place to talk."

* * *

The choir room was located just behind the stage, and it was unlocked. Helen had gathered Jake and took a seat with Romonica. Finn sat close by, but look extremely agitated. Helen wondered what was on his mind now.

"As you can see, Finn handled himself very well today." Romonica instructed. Finn laughed nervously at the praise.

"We were certainly lucky to have found him here." The blonde assistant, who seemed to go by the name of Claude, agreed.

"I am thinking that Finn would be the person we want to extend the contract to." Romonica delivered.

"Oh my." Helen was amazed, although not really surprised. Her son was a talented man, after all, and knew how to use his looks to their best assets. Finn looked practically paralyzed among hearing the news, but for what reason, Helen couldn't say.

Romonica handed Helen a clipboard with a piece of paper on it.

"These are all the contract details." Romonica explained. "I understand that you are a lawyer, so I'm sure you'll understand the need for this."

"Of course." Helen replied. "And Finn is a minor too." Helen started to scan over the details, but immediately stopped when she noticed Finn. Her first instinct was to have Jake talk with Finn while she went over the contract for any loopholes or concerns. But Helen knew if she continued on that path, nothing will have changed: Finn wouldn't think she cared about him.

"Please excuse us for a moment, Ms. DeGregory. I think we as a family need to discuss this."

"But of course." Romonica explained. "I will return to the other models." She and Claude left the room. Finn didn't look any better once they did.

"Finn?" Helen asked. Finn didn't acknowledge her.

"Sport?" Jake asked. Again, Finn didn't even move.

"He's just in shock. Not everyday someone asks you to be a model." Jake cheered. Helen didn't agree. She waited for a moment until she heard Finn breathing again. His breaths were still very shallow and Helen wondered if he was about to faint.

"Finn?" Helen asked. He finally turned his head to look at them, although he still gave no words.

"What did you think of the class today?" Helen asked. This seemed to get Finn to talk last night.

"Well, it wasn't bad. I mean, did you see me surrounded by those hotties, Dad? I can command!" Finn resorted back to his cheerful demeanor, although Helen could tell he was faking it.

"Not bad, son."

"It's a big thing to think about, isn't it?" Finn stated.

"Well, you know no matter what, sport, your mother and I will always love you. It's your decision to make." Jake was supportive, although Helen knew Finn was still just as confused. Finn didn't answer, and Helen knew how he really felt about it.

* * *

This had gone on long enough. Helen needed a word alone with her son.

"Jake, do you think you could call Daria and tell her of the news?" Helen asked.

"Honey?"

"She should know Finn was offered the position, shouldn't she?" Helen reminded. Jake nodded.

"Yeah, just think of what she'll want to change my room into. It'll look like a freaking psycho doctor's office with all those...whatever those things are she buys." Finn asided. Jake left the room.

"Finn." Helen stated once the two were alone. "Is there something you're not telling us about this contract."

"Uhhh....no." Finn was trying to deflect again, but he was getting worse and worse at it. Perhaps it was nerves.

"I mean, it's what we all want, isn't it? I know Dad, he'd love it if I got the opportunity to see the world, do different things, meet new people. And, well, Daria would be happy to get me out of the house. And you don't have to worry about me either. I won't be embarrassing you with my C's and not being in academic clubs and all that."

Helen ignored her son's insult. She could hear something in her son's voice, a sort of desperate pleading. He wasn't trying to convince his mother that this was the right thing to do. He was trying to convince himself.

"Finn, what do you want?" Helen asked.

"Didn't I answer that?"

"No." Helen replied. "You said what you thought your father, Daria, and I wanted. What do you want, Finn?"

"It'll be cool." Finn replied. "And it's not like I'll get a chance to do something like this again."

"You're stalling, Finn." Helen remarked. "What do you want to do?"

"What difference does it make?" Finn asked. "If I say yes, you won't let me, and if I say no, you'll tell me to do it."

"God damn it, Finn, I'm asking you a question. You were extended a modeling position with Amazon Modeling Agency, and you can't even tell me if you want it." Helen became forceful, but not angry, in her tone. She wanted to put Finn on the ropes, and smash through all of his defenses, to reach her son's true feelings. The way he felt when he talked to his Aunt Rita, the laughing boy whose smile brightened his father's day.

"_The way he never is around me." _Helen thought.

"Uhhh..." Finn was trembling, and sweat was pouring out of his pores. It was working, Helen thought. She was getting through to him.

"It doesn't matter whether we sign this thing or not." Helen explained, and even threw the clipboard across the room to prove her point.

"What matters right now is you telling me if you want this or not. Forget about me, or Daria, or your father, or anyone." Helen decided against mentioning Rita, which might have put Finn into an aggressive behavior.

"What do you want." Helen echoed. Finn kept shaking for a moment, and Helen wondered if she intimidated him too much.

"I...I..." Finn stuttered. Helen said nothing.

"I don't." Finn finally answered. "I don't want to do it."

"_Now we're getting somewhere." _Helen replied.

"Why don't you want to do it?" She asked her son, coming in closer to him.

"Because..." Finn started. Helen didn't know if he'd open up or not. She hoped he would.

"Because it didn't make me feel good." Finn stated. That wasn't all of the reason, Helen knew.

"Was there something specific you disliked?" Helen asked.

"Being touched." Finn admitted. Helen silently acknowledged him. She remembered when Finn shuddered when she touched his shoulder the other night, and it spooked him so much she had to withdraw it. Being touched by strangers was scary enough, particularly depending on what was being modeled; Finn would have been in varying states of undress.

"Listen, Finn. That's normal for a boy your age." Helen stated. "Intimacy is not something to be rushed."

"Mom, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about girls with their arms on me. Breathing into my hair, touching my body. Yesterday we were posing without our shirts on, and I nearly crapped my pants."

"_How did they get away with that?" _Helen wondered. But it didn't matter now. Complaining about it wouldn't change how it made Finn feel.

"That's what I was talking about too. Well, I was talking about that and well..." Helen trailed off for a moment, but immediately recovered.

"I'm saying that if you're not comfortable being touched like that, then you're not going to be comfortable doing it for a career. If you felt this way yesterday, why would you even come back today?"

"Because I was asked." Finn replied. Helen was buying his excuse. He sighed.

"Because I thought it would make everyone happy." Finn admitted.

"Why would you think that? Your father would be terribly upset if you left." Finn didn't say anything, and Helen realized the second she said it that such a comment wouldn't help. She needed to deal with the problem directly.

"And so would I. I would be terribly upset if anything happened to you that made you unhappy."

"Yeah, right." Finn got dismissive again.

"Finn, I mean it." Helen stated. "All I've ever wanted is for you to grow up and be a happy man."

"Hmph." Finn shrugged, and Helen decided to quit now while she got her son to deal with the problem at hand.

"Then let's tell Romonica the deal is off."

* * *

Romonica took the news surprisingly well. She and Claude left to discuss things, but it no longer mattered to the family Morgendorffer. Jake seemed a little disappointed at first, but told Finn that the job probably wouldn't be as fun anyway.

"Thanks. I'm gonna go get my stuff, okay?" Finn went back down the hall to get his backpack.

"Are you satisfied?" He heard a low voice behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

"Why are you here, Daria?" Finn asked.

"I just came to see my little brother's triumphant entrance into the modeling world. It's only a shame I couldn't see you fall on the runway in Paris."

"Heh. Like I'd leave Dad to your clutches." Finn balled his hands into fists.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Daria asked. Finn didn't answer her.

"Well. You did as you pleased." Daria remarked. What that meant, Finn had no idea.

"Time to go, then." Daria darted off towards the hallway.

"_Yeah. There's no way, Daria." _Finn thought to himself. "_There's no way I'd leave you with Dad. Not after last time." _

_

* * *

_

Helen wasn't sure what to think at the end of the day about Finn's class today. It was hard to say whether it was a victory for her or not. On the one hand, Finn opened up and actually told her, for once, how he truly felt about something. On the other, Finn still wouldn't give an inch and she practically had to bludgeon her way to get it. And even further than that, she bore witness to her son's deep insecurities. He had believed, truly believed in his heart, that she and Daria wanted him to just disappear from their lives, at best.

"_How long have you felt that way, Finn?" _Helen wondered. She knew that Daria and Finn had low opinions of each other. Finn especially, took great pains to avoid being like Daria in any way possible. Daria of course, tried not to act like Finn, but he was more vehement about being different than she was.

It was a heartbreaking thing, truly, to realize that truth about her son. But Helen had claimed an important victory today. Finn had opened up to her, Finn told her the truth about something. It wasn't that major: the fact that he despised physical intimacy like that was common among a fourteen-year-old. At least, Helen hoped it would be. Children could be so stupid sexually these days.

Finn, of course, got angry with her when she tried to tell him she cared about him. But she did get him to open up. It was the first step to rebuilding her relationship with her son. She knew that, beneath the clothes, the hair gel, and the posturing, Finn had a heart of solid gold. She didn't know what Finn thought of her now, but Helen knew her work was not done by any stretch.

"_You will know it, Finn. That I am sure. Even if I can't help you with your problems all the time, you will at least know that your mother does care about you.." _


	6. Beautiful

"So, Jamie, how did things work out with that chick last night?" Finn asked his buddy as the group of them walked down the hallway.

"Not too bad. I did that thing you said and got myself cleaned up and decked out, and we went to a café after the movie."

"Did she get pie?" Finn asked.

"I got cheesecake, she had a muffin."

"But she ate?" Finn replied. Jamie nodded.

"Well done, my man." Finn praised. Jamie smiled, clearly proud of his accomplishment. Finn was proud too. It had only been a few months since the move to Lawndale and his friendship with these guys, and already he was noticing the improvement in their dating lives. All three of the guys had mentioned they were going on more dates now, and getting many more numbers from girls.

Finn was impressed. Among the freshman class of Lawndale, those four guys were the casanovas, the objects of affection for all of Lawndale. Even sophomore girls were starting to take notice, moreso than that slut Brittany Taylor.

"We've got a game with Oakwood on Friday, don't we?" Finn asked. Joey nodded.

"Hmmm..." He was thinking of inviting his Aunt Rita to come down for a game soon, but, unfortunately, Rita's beau Roger had been in an accident recently, and things did not look good. Finn so desperately wanted his aunt close by so he could talk to her and help her through the tough time, but Finn knew that if his mother were somehow to discover things, things would go from bad to worse quickly, and Rita didn't need that. So he settled for calling her everyday, even blowing off a few dates, just to help her out.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Jeffy asked. The boys heard a bustle going on around the next corner. Over there was a group of girls, eagerly surrounding someone. Finn couldn't make out what exactly the commotion was about, but it appeared to be exciting, considering how the girls were talking.

"_New student?" _Finn wondered. He stepped closer to the group.

"Oh, Finn!" One member of the group was Stacy, who recognized him immediately.

"Hello." Finn replied. "Something exciting happening?"

"Oh, Finn, you've come just in time." Sandi's voice sounded from somewhere in the small crowd. The wall of girls parted a bit to reveal a brunette haired girl in the center of the crowd. Finn didn't recognize her at first, but some distant bells were ringing in his memory.

"Did I miss something?" Finn asked.

"Have you met Brooke, Finn?" Stacy asked pleasantly. "She's a Fashion Club hopeful." Brooke was presumably this girl in the center, and Finn still couldn't recall her. Of course, judging by her appearance, Finn wasn't surprised. Brooke was a rather plain girl. Not ugly, but her waist bulged a little too much, her thighs were a little too big, and she dressed in a hideous pink and blue jumper-dress thing.

"_Is this a Fashion Club hopeful?" _Finn thought. He recalled Stacy's choice of attire, and wondered if Sandi had a hand in selecting Brooke's wardrobe as well.

"_Is this like a frat boy pledge thing, Sandi, or is this how you get your rocks off?" _Finn wondered to himself.

"Hi, Finn." Brooke was polite to him, and seemed excited to see him, although she wasn't as pathetically eager as Stacy was.

"Good morning." Finn smiled.

"What do you think?" Sandi asked. Finn furrowed his brow, and looked around, noticing his buddies had all left him.

"Errr...hate to be blunt, but what am I looking at?" Finn asked.

"Brooke's nose job, silly." Sandi teased. "Haven't you heard the news?"

"No." Finn replied.

"_Nose job? Plastic surgery? You can get it at this age?" _Finn thought.

"Oh yeah, I had Dr. Shar do it." Brooke stated.

"She's the best." Tiffany smiled, and Finn wondered if that was the first real emotion he had ever seen out of her.

"Oh, Brooke, your nose is the cutest little thing." Stacy whimpered. "I wish I had such a beautiful nose."

"It is a fine job, Brooke." Sandi complimented. "Your nose is so cute."

"Thank you, everyone!" Brooke was excited. Other girls in the crowd further complimented her on her nose; Finn even thought he saw that bitch, Tori Jericho, in the crowd as well.

"What do you think, Finn?" Brooke asked.

"Well, let's take a look, then." Finn stepped up closer to Brooke and looked at her face closely.

Finn was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to describe a nose job, and he couldn't recall what Brooke looked like before her nose job. Not surprising, considering how plain she looked. As for Brooke's nose, he didn't know how to describe it either.

"It's....it's cute." Finn finally managed to get out.

"Just cute?" Brooke wondered. All of the girls stepped away from Finn as he said that.

"Well...yeah. I mean, it's...cute." Finn stated. He tried to show a little more enthusiasm about it, but faking the effort was starting to give him a stomach cramp.

"Do you actually mean that?" Tori asked him.

"Of course I do." Finn replied. "It's a cute job. You're actually supposed to look at it before you say it, you know." But no one was listening to him now.

"What, so you're saying we don't mean it?" Tori replied. Finn was normally one not to back down from a challenge, but challenges to him involved fistfights and interceptions. Battles with words were not his strongpoint. He looked for an out.

"I said it was cute. What, should I get a pair of pom-poms and do a routine or something?" Finn asked.

"So...it's cute?" Brooke was nervously fidgeting.

"Of course it's cute." Tori dismissed. "After all, even the very deep Finn Morgendorffer says so, so it must be true. He would never say something like that without meaning it." By her tone, it was clear that Tori was being sarcastic.

"You're just mad because I called you out on being shallow." Finn defended. Tori sighed.

"Whatever you say." She turned around and walked away. Most of the other girls started to follow her.

"What did I do?" Finn asked Sandi, who said nothing to him. She and Tiffany walked down the hall. Finn turned his gaze to Brooke, who looked like she was fighting back tears. She went down the hall after Sandi. Even Stacy wouldn't say a word to Finn as she went off tailing behind the Fashion Club. Finn was left alone in the hallway.

"What the hell just happened?"

* * *

"So, I said her nose was cute, and all of a sudden, everyone thinks I'm shallow!" Finn complained at the dinner table.

"And it only took them three months to figure that out. I wonder which ribbons to give out." Daria quipped from across the table.

"The girl got a nose job?" Helen asked. "What was wrong with her old nose."

"I don't know, but I don't remember Brooke being that pretty, so probably something." Finn replied.

"Finn, you know that you shouldn't judge girls based just on their looks. Many young girls get the idea that plastic surgery will impress some boy they like."

"That's stupid. I mean, I never asked her to get a surgery. And besides, if Brooke wanted to impress me, the usual avenues are still open. I mean, she's close to the Fashion Club and they know all my measurements, and even if Brooke didn't want to ask for help, all she needs to do is go to the menswear department at Cashman's and ask for Sean. He's great at helping girls pick out stuff for me, and he's very nice about it. I mean, I don't make this complicated." Finn noted.

"Just needlessly expensive." Daria quipped again.

"Expensive? There's this really cool pair of boots I wanted for like, fifty bucks. That's a lot cheaper than a stupid nose job." Finn returned. "And they would look a lot better than a nose job. I mean, that thing was so small on her face I could tell it was fake. I mean, it's like that...uhh...Daria, what's that little white thing that's left over after stars blow up?"

"Neutrino." Daria posed, knowing the answer was incorrect.

"Thanks!" Finn blissfully was unaware of the fallacy.

"I can't wait for astronomy." Daria rubbed her hands together. "Barch is going to love that."

"Finn, it's a good thing you don't encourage such behavior, and for the record, I agree with you." Helen stated. "After all, if a woman just wants to impress some boy by getting a nose job that's just silly."

"Uh, Mom. I don't think she got it just for me. I mean, Brooke's a Fashion Club potential and they have high beauty standards." Finn stated.

"Even's that not a good reason. Maybe when Brooke was a grown woman and in the professional world there might be a valid reason. Women there are judged by their looks and you can't just go against the grain there." Helen soon seemed to forget everyone else was still in the room and looked down at her own chest.

"To get breast implants?" Helen stated.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Finn asked. That seemed to snap Helen out of her funk.

"Never mind." Finn stated. "I'm done eating."

* * *

After dinner, both Daria and Finn retreated to their rooms. Helen cleaned up the tray while Jake sat with a cup of coffee at the table.

"Can you believe it, honey. Girls getting plastic surgery." Jake said from reading the paper.

"It's ridiculous, isn't it, Jake?" Helen replied. "What is wrong with girls this day and age. It's a good thing Daria isn't buying into that ridiculous fad." But Helen found her mind drifting back to Finn. Helen knew that popularity was a fickle thing, and, within a few days, the students would forget about what he said about this Brooke girl's nose and he'd be back to where he was in no time. Maybe even sooner, if some other gossip came along. Kids were cruel, but they had no attention span. Something like this would be swept under the rug.

But Finn was still upset about it, and Helen wished to know why.

"_Finn was able to open up to you about that whole modeling thing." _Helen thought. _"Show him you are interested in his problems. It might make him sad to deal with them, but it will show him you care about how he feels. That's what you want, isn't it?"_

"Of course." Helen said aloud, briefly forgetting that she was doing so.

"Honey?" Jake asked.

"I think I'm going to talk with Finn." Helen replied. She marched up to his room, where she found him doing squats. He seemed to be back to normal, and Helen wondered if he worked out so much to push his problems aside. If he did, he had a lot of problems; he worked out every day.

"Finn?" Helen asked. Finn regarded her.

"Yes?" Finn's voice was terse, at it usually was with her.

"This whole plastic surgery thing." Helen started. "You feel very strongly about it?"

"Huh?" Finn was perplexed. "Well, yeah. I mean, that skank has the nerve to call me shallow." Finn started to rant like his father.

"Look, Finn, if you feel that strongly about it, why don't you talk to Brooke? Ask her about the nose job, ask her why she thought she needed one."

"I already know that. She thought it would make her fit in with the Fashion Club. At least, I think that's the reason." Finn replied.

"You know, Finn, a lot of other girls are going to look to Brooke and start considering getting their own surgeries. Particularly girls who are gullible or easily influenced by the wrong things." Helen drew a silent parallel to get Finn thinking about Stacy. If Finn's conversation with Rita about her was to be believed, that girl was already considering it. Finn's eyebrows raised.

"Hmmm..."

"Finn, I guarantee you if you talk to those girls and figure out what it is that motivates them to get such a surgery, you can talk them out of it. If you make them feel good about themselves, no one will accuse you of being shallow. No matter how much of a skank they are." Helen insulted whoever it was that insulted Finn. It would make him feel a bit better.

Finn was silent for a long time. His eyes looked at the carpeting on the floor.

"Finn?"

"Okay." Finn's voice was a bit meeker than it usually was. "If you think that will work."

"It will work, Finn."

"But, you know, Brooke already got the surgery. And besides, they all talk about that sort of crap all the time."

"Then just consider it practice. Consider it a way to show Brooke you're not shallow. And when someone else starts seriously considering surgery, you'll know what you're doing."

"Ummm...all right." Finn replied. Helen left her son's room as he returned to his routine.

* * *

As Finn returned to his workout, his mind darted back and forth between the events of the day and the events of this evening.

Finn thought Brooke was stupid, and that's all she would ever be. She could get all that plastic surgery and look hot as ever, but ultimately she would be controlled by girls like Sandi or Tori, and she'd never shine.

"_Just like Stacy." _Finn knew that Stacy would probably be in Dr. Shar's office within a week. The rest of the girls would be there too, desperate not to let the plain Brooke upstage them in the looks department.

"_Heh. I love being a guy. We don't deal with that crap." _Finn chuckled to himself. But after reveling in his Y chromosome, he went back to thinking about what his mother had said.

"_Talk to Brooke?" _It sounded kind of drastic just to stop the gossip mill. Of course, if people thought he was shallow, he wouldn't get as many dates. In fact, only three people had asked him today, and only one after the whole Brooke thing went down. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"_But, what are you doing, Mom?" _Finn thought as he changed from squats to push-ups. Mom was, of course, involved in the modeling contract; parental consent and all of that. But this had nothing to do with her at all. There were no legal loopholes, or contracts or any of that weird lawyer stuff. And this had nothing to do with Daria at all; Daria didn't know anyone aside from Jane. She'd never associate with a girl like Brooke. And yet, Helen came to his room, and asked him about it. She told him a supportive word. She gave him advice. She insulted Tori, even if she didn't know who Tori was.

"_Did you have a stroke?" _Finn thought. "_Or is it menopause?" _Finn tried to think of multiple weird reasons why his mother would be acting so weird. How could it be anything else? This was his mother he was talking about. Helen Morgendorffer, who would criticize him for saying something about Daria's self-esteem, or point out how much of a bitch she really was.

"_After all, he can't be anything else." _Finn's upper lip trembled, and he couldn't focus on exercise. And for the most part, he believed it. Helen had bursts of parental involvement before. It's just that this one didn't end with some lecture on doing better in school.

Finn peaked outside the hallway and found it empty, and returned to his room to shut the door. He even locked it, just for a brief moment. Once he was certain he was alone, he sat on the floor, pressing his knees to his chest. His eyes started to water, just a little bit. For a second, he had no idea what to do. He had wanted this for so long, he had absolutely no idea what to do with it.

She'd be back to lawyering tomorrow. She'd probably lecture him tomorrow. Maybe Daria would be a bitch again and Helen would just ignore her insults, only chiming in when Finn said one.

It flew in the face of reason, that was certain. And perhaps there was something behind it Finn didn't know. But for one moment, it felt as though Finn's mother actually cared about what he had to say.

It was all he could do to keep from bawling.

* * *

There weren't as many people staring at Finn when he went into school the next day. It seemed Tori's whining was as effective the next day. Finn laughed a little on the inside. Served that bitch right. At least Finn was willing to look at Brooke's nose before telling her an empty compliment.

Speaking of Brooke, Finn had no idea which classes she had. He had never looked for her before, but as he scanned the desks during his first few periods, he saw no trace of her.

"_Hmmm..." _Finn thought. This was different. If he couldn't find Brooke, he couldn't talk to her. Was she sick? Even if she was, it was doubtful she wouldn't be here. Girls like her lived off the mindless praise of others. Perhaps she was getting another surgery, or however the procedure for stuff like that went. He'd have to ask someone if they had seen Brooke.

Sandi would probably be the best informed, but Finn decided to ask Stacy instead. Yesterday, Stacy was the one who seemed to be the most excited to introduce Brooke.

"I haven't heard anything." Stacy replied when Finn asked her in the hallway.

"So, after yesterday, you haven't heard from her at all?" Finn stated.

"Well, no." Stacy replied. "Brooke ran into the bathroom and started crying, I think. At least, that's what I heard from Kathy, who heard it from Rebecca, who supposedly passed by the bathroom at the time.

"Oh." Finn frowned. "Well, I wonder where she was. I wanted to ask her something."

"I'm sorry, Finn." Stacy replied. "Hey, uhh...can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What do you...uhhh...what do you think of...." Stacy stuttered so much Finn was starting to lose his patience. He took a deep breath and counted as Stacy tried to get out what she was trying to say.

"Do you...err...what do you think of...my...nose." Stacy finally managed to get out. Finn felt his collar starting to get tight again. This was exactly what he was worried would happen. Everyone would look at Brooke's nose job and start getting the crazy idea to get their own plastic surgeries. Most of the girls, he couldn't care less what they did. Let them all look like they had collapsed neutrino faces or gargantuan fake boobs. It would be funny, and pathetic, and Finn would get a private laugh watching the bitches like Tori Jericho spent thousands of dollars making themselves look like circus freaks.

But not Stacy. Stacy would get swept up by Sandi or whomever and get things she didn't even want. She didn't deserve to waste her money on such things. At least, Finn reasoned, not to impress him. He knew the gifts Stacy had been sending: He knew that she desired him.

But he had no idea what the hell to say. Brooke was apparently crying thanks to Finn's insincere comment, and, while Finn didn't care about Brooke, an insincere comment to Stacy might be the difference between not getting a nose job and getting an entire face lift.

He reasoned to do it just like his mother said.

"Stacy, your nose is fine." Finn tried to sound as sincere as possible. He didn't think there was anything wrong with Stacy's nose, but he never really paid attention to that part of a girl's face.

"Why would you want one in the first place?" Finn asked.

"Because all the other girls are going to Dr. Shar." Stacy replied. "And I can't be left out, I just can't!" Stacy was starting to shout a little.

"Calmly." Finn tried to silence her so she wouldn't create a scene. If Tori showed up, there might have been the possibility of more embarrassment. Finn's dating schedule was already not what he wanted it to be at. But he needed to press her for more information. Going to Doctor Shar, what the hell did that mean?

"So you just want to keep up with the other girls?" Finn asked.

"Of course. Now that Brooke's got such a cute nose, she might become a new member for the Fashion Club."

"Heh, I doubt that." Finn chuckled. "Brooke doesn't have the waist you other girls have." Stacy paused to consider that.

"You know, Finn, you're absolutely right!" Stacy was cheerful now. "That's what Brooke needs."

"Stacy, wait a minute..." Finn started.

"Brooke's been asking us how she can get into the Fashion Club's good graces, and this is it. Why didn't I think of it! Oh, Finn, you're so smart!" Stacy was too excited to hear Finn's protests, and eagerly ran down the hallway.

Finn slammed him arm into a nearby locker.

"Freaking hell!"

* * *

Finn couldn't find time to speak to Stacy during the rest of the school day, and she wasn't answering her phone when he called her at home. To top it all off, Aunt Rita still wasn't answering hers.

"_Crap." _Finn thought. So much for Mom's advice. Although Finn was glad Stacy didn't get the wrong impression and did something to herself, the fact that Stacy was going to recommend she do...whatever the surgery was to her waist to get it thin because of what Finn had said bothered him. It bothered him more than he would have admitted out loud.

He still didn't care about Brooke. If she took that advice, she was stupid. But, at the very least, Finn would need to attempt to take back what he said.

But he had no idea where Brooke lived, and he was running out of time. She'd probably be in that plastic surgeon's office tomorrow to schedule an appointment: Finn didn't think they just did things the day off. He had to get there first.

"_Let's see, they said Dr. Shar, right? I guess I could look that up in the phone book." _Finn thought. But, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was going to need some backup on this one. It only took one mistake for Stacy to get that stupid idea in her head, and now Finn just dug himself a deeper hole.

"_But none of the girls will do it." _Finn thought. "_They all think getting surgery is a good idea. I'd have to convince them, too. And if I can do that, I could just get Brooke done myself. And my buddies won't do it.." _Finn liked his friends on the team a lot, but this is something they couldn't help with either. Even if they wanted to do it, and Finn doubted that they would, they didn't know enough about the fashion world and the art of beauty for the girls to take their opinions seriously.

He needed someone who could be honest, no matter what. Someone mean, too, to scare the girl into paying attention.

"_It'll be easy to get it to work, but I just can't believe I'm actually doing it." _

_

* * *

_

The next day, as soon as Finn confirmed Brooke wasn't in school again, he faked sick during Mr. O'Neill's class. It was easy to get the poor sucker to believe him, Mr. O'Neill was one of those "sensitive" New Age pussy-guys who talked about his feelings. He was such a douche-bag.

Convincing the nurse was harder, but not impossible. Finn just thought of all the effort he put into telling Brooke her nose was cute, and the stomach cramps came back very quickly. Convincing the nurse to let Daria take him home was easy. All he had to do was lie and say Daria had a car. Walking was very difficult, and he didn't have his own license. To his surprise, Daria played along with the ruse. Finn had already worked out the bus schedule on how to get to the medical office park where Dr. Shar had her office.

"You don't seem to be having cramps anymore." Daria noted.

"Quiet." Finn ordered. "I got you out of school, didn't I?"

"Oh yes, to take my dear little brother home." Daria noted sarcastically. "This isn't the way home."

"Because we're not headed home, genius. We're going to Dr. Shar's office."

"Dr. Shar? That plastic surgeon you were whining about yesterday? Why are we headed there."

"Because Brooke is there." Finn replied.

"She's the one you were complaining about, the one who called you shallow."

"Brooke didn't call me shallow!" Finn glared. "Anyway, she skipped school today and this is the only place she could be because she's going to get her waist done. Whatever that means."

"It means liposuction." Daria replied. "And what do you care? You said this crap was stupid, remember. Why would you want to go and encourage her."

"We're not encouraging her. We're putting a stop to it."

"Why?" Daria asked. "And for that matter, why am I going?"

"Because you need to go there. You're...umm...brutal."

"I think the word you wanted is honest." Daria replied.

"Same thing."

"No it's not."

"Okay, fine." Finn grudgingly gave his sister the compliment. "I screwed up yesterday talking to Stacy and she said she's telling Brooke that it was my idea to get the waist surgery thing and I gotta talk her out of it. And you have to come because..." Finn started to trail off again, knowing he was about to pay his sister another compliment.

"Because..." Daria knew what was coming.

"Because I suck at saying things and you don't." Finn stated. "Are you happy now?"

"I wish I had it on tape." Daria replied. "Do you even know if Brooke is going to the office?"

"Where else would she be?"

"Faking stomach cramps." Daria noted.

"Daria, girls like that feed on people telling her things like her nose is cute. That's how you get them to chase after you and then they buy things for you."

"And now I know a magician's secret." Daria noted again. "This is a good day."

* * *

Dr. Shar's office was called the Swan Shoppe. Finn scanned around the office waiting room, and his heart sank.

"Brooke's not here." Finn noted. "None of these people are girls I know." True enough, everyone in the office was much older then the pair of teenagers entering the office. Some were couples, some were singles, but all were adults.

"You owe me cheese fries for this." Daria noted before she started to walk back out the door.

"Wait a minute." Finn grabbed Daria by the wrist.

"What?"

"We came all the way here, we've got to do something."

"I am doing something. I'm getting cheese fries. Gratis."

"Daria, I'm serious. We can't just let all the girls in the school come to this woman and just get themselves carved up left and right."

"You don't care about them." Daria noted.

"Sure I do!"

"You only care that they're not spending their money on you."

"That's not the only reason!" Finn protested. "I mean, yeah, Brooke's a shallow girl, and if Tori came here and got herself a bunch of stupid surgeries, I'd be fine with it, but sooner or later some girl's going to do this to impress me and then I'm going to feel responsible!" There was a desperate pleading in his voice. Thanks to his growth spurt, Finn was over half a foot taller then Daria, but never had he seemed more like the little brother he was

"Fine. I'll hear your plan, and then I'll leave." Daria noted. Finn looked around the waiting room again. He didn't want to strike up a conversation with random people. Their surgeries were not his concern; they had nothing to do with him. He thought for a moment.

"_I know__!" _He thought excitedly. He went up to the receptionist and said he'd like to schedule a consultation with Dr. Shar. The receptionist looked at him strangely for a moment.

"Oh, it's not for me." Finn laughed. "It's for my sister, Daria." Finn was happy that Daria decided to stay in the doorway. She wouldn't hear about this until it was too late.

* * *

"So, Einstein. What's your plan?" Daria asked. She was in no mood for her brother's sick games, although what he could be planning here was beyond her.

"You'll see." Finn noted. He took a seat and leafed through a magazine.

"What are you plotting?" Daria asked.

"I already answered that." Finn did not put down his magazine. "Just take a seat and wait. Besides, where else would you go? It's still school hours. And you haven't collected on your cheese fries."

"Cheese fries? I want a whole pizza for this."

"Fine. Whatever." Finn stated. Daria was surprised at her brother's agreement. He already knew that, because Daria had agreed to play hooky, she would be in as much hot water as Finn was, and yet, he still agreed to pay her. He did feel strongly about this.

Daria took a seat. There was little else she could do at this time.

* * *

"Morgendorffer!" The receptionist called.

"Let's go." Finn put his magazine down and eagerly followed the receptionist into the office. The two took a seat at a large desk, where Dr. Shar sat on the opposite end. Finn had no idea what to think about the woman. Her lips were gigantic, her boobs were far too big for her body, and her forehead was so big it probably had a mouth somewhere.

"Welcome, you two." Dr. Shar had a Southern accent, and was very pleasant. "So I understand you're here for a consultation, Daria." She immediately looked at Daria.

"What!" Daria was shocked. Finn smiled at her. She was already in the office; it was too late to back out now.

"Of course we are." Finn replied. He would play along for now until whatever this consultation thing was was over. Then he'd tell off the doctor. Call her a scumbag predator for selling this crap to kids.

Finn didn't know what he'd get out of it. Dr. Shar wouldn't stop practicing, that was true. But it would make Finn feel a bit better knowing that he at least got his point across.

"Well now, looks like there's a lot we can do here." A camera took a picture of Daria's face, and Dr. Shar starting doing some improvements to her face.

"Wow!" Finn stated once the doctor showed him the finished result. "You actually look halfway decent." The picture showed Daria with long red hair, without her glasses, and several dimples and beauty marks.

"Oh, are you her boyfriend?" Dr. Shar asked.

"Oh, absolutely not!" Finn shouted. He took a deep breath.

"Sorry. I'm her brother."

"Oh, well aren't you supportive." Dr. Shar replied.

"Yeah, speaking of that. You do know my sister is fifteen, right?" Finn stated. "She's a minor."

"I get minors in here all the time." Dr. Shar remarked. "It's good that young people take such an active interest in how they look. After all, once your boobs start sagging, it's hard to get em back up perky."

"Yeah." Finn was dismissive. "How can you market this stuff to kids? I mean, isn't that against your hippo code or something." Daria rolled her eyes at Finn's comment.

"Well, young man." Dr. Shar seemed more annoyed than angry at his comment. "You might think this is somehow unethical, but every surgery I perform is always consensual. My patients always tell me what they want and ask me to make them beautiful. How can I, as a doctor, refuse what they want?"

"As long as they pay." Daria sarcastically noted. Finn, however, didn't say anything.

"Little boy." Dr. Shar ignored Daria. "It's not easy to be a woman in this day and age. We need to always be pretty and perfect, all the time. Some people are just not born pretty. It's not their fault, but they're always looked down upon. Some girls just run away from it all, but other girls want it. Some girls want to be popular and get the dates and be admired and all that. It's not wrong, is it?" Dr. Shar stood up from her chair as she spoke.

"Err...well...I guess not. I'm sorry." Finn shook in his seat "I guess I never thought of it that way."

To his surprise, Dr. Shar did not get angry or order the pair out.

"It's alright. I'm sorry if I scared you a little." Dr. Shar was surprisingly nice. "People get that way sometimes when they don't hear both sides of the story." She actually smiled at Finn, and he felt himself blushing a little.

"You're lucky, little boy. You've got such a stunning face. It's no wonder you don't know how hard it can be for some people. It's not like you just changed faces all of a sudden."

"I...I guess." Finn felt very insecure and ashamed of himself.

"I mean it. Pick that face up." Dr. Shar replied. "You've got such a beautiful pair of eyes, and a smile that inviting. Hmm...that chin." Dr. Shar paused for a moment. Finn's eyes grew wide

"What's wrong with my chin?" He placed his hands over his mouth as if to hide it.

"Well, nothing really." Dr. Shar replied. "It's just, well, rather round. Have you seen all of those big name stars like Harrison Ford? They've got square jawlines. That's the rugged look. Brings all the women in for miles.

"Oh. Wow, I...I never looked." Finn fidgeted in his chair. "I mean, I don't look at men that closely.

"Hmmm..." Dr. Shar stood up and walked around her desk to Finn.

"Could you stand up?" She asked politely. Finn obliged.

"Roll up your pant leg, please?" Nervously, Finn followed the doctor's orders.

"Oh..." Dr. Shar looked.

"Oh no!" Finn rolled his pant back down in fear. "What's wrong!"

"Well, you've got some pretty big calves. You're an athlete, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, I play football and I box." Finn was shaking in his boots.

"Those are great sports. Put a lot of muscle on. But it can be hard to differentiate between muscle and fat just by looking. You know your body fat index, don't you?"

"Well, they do skinfold tests..."

"Do you know your percent body fat?" Dr. Shar asked. Finn's face went pale. He knew the number, but he was concerned about how large it was, and refused to answer.

"You know, dear, Olympic divers have a body fat of less than 1 percent."

"Wow, I...had no idea it went that low." Finn stated.

"It's called counting, Finn." Daria quipped from her chair.

"Well, I suppose it could be worse." Dr. Shar replied. "Do you think you could take your shirt off for me, please?"

"Eep!" Finn's voice squeaked.

* * *

Finn was silent as the pair left Dr. Shar's office.

"Finn, I truly am glad you came to the office today. If only all people were open-minded and were willing to listen to all sides of a story like you." Dr. Shar was escorting the two siblings out. Finn did not respond, but he was able to slightly smile and nod.

"Daria, you really shouldn't give up on yourself?" Dr. Shar lectured. "After all, your little brother learned not to be judgmental."

"That statement loses it's impact when you make a living helping people be judged." Daria stated. Finn could barely even hear her.

"Don't make me sad, Daria. There's a lot of potential in you."

"Investing in my potential doesn't mean a face lift."

"Well, Daria, I can't force you to do anything, but make sure you consider things, at least. Here, these might help you." Dr. Shar handed Daria a box.

"And Finn..." Dr. Shar immediately returned to her perky attitude when addressing Finn.

"You consider things too." Dr. Shar stated. "Take a look at yourself in the mirror after a shower, and really look at yourself. You've got most of the cards, sweetie, but I think you can have all of them." Finn didn't reply again.

* * *

He didn't speak until the two of them got back on the bus and were headed home. They'd be home about an hour before school ended, so Daria reasoned she'd have to wait before calling Jane and telling her of today's sordid affair. The entire day was a complete waste for Daria, aside from scamming a free pie off of her brother. He was looking down at his legs with a large frown on his face, and Daria could tell that Dr. Shar's words had upset him.

"I'm fat." Finn finally moaned. Unlike his normal complaining, Finn now sounded like he was two steps away from crying.

"_Fat?" _Daria thought. She had many choice words to cut her brother down to size. Some curse words, some normal ones, and some Finn would have never heard of. But "fat" was not an insult she reserved for him. He wasn't fat by any stretch. Daria had no problems admitting her brother was one of the most buff people she knew.

There were plenty of true things to say bad of her brother. There was no need for lies.

"You can't seriously think you're fat, Finn." Daria stated. She wasn't trying to encourage anything; rather, she was just stating a fact.

"Didn't you here that number? Less than 1 percent body fat. That's how low it can be."

"Finn, she wasn't saying you were fat, she wanted you to pay for liposuction and alter your jawline. It's a good thing you kept your pants on, or else she'd probably say something about your hips too."

"Oh, God, it's worse than I thought!" Finn paled again, looking nervously at his hips.

"_This is just too much." _Daria thought. As much as she enjoyed how uncomfortable this was making her brother, she figured she would have to say something. Just at least to stop him from seriously considering plastic surgery. Mom would kill her if she ever found out Finn got plastic surgery, and that Daria knew about it and didn't try to stop him.

"She makes her living getting people to feel the same way she made you feel." Daria pointed out.

"But that doesn't mean she's wrong. I mean, don't they get, like, revoked or something."

"If her skill with the knife is the same as the one who did the surgeries on her, she should have been revoked a long time ago." Daria ignored the fact that Finn thought the doctor rather then her license would have been revoked. The specification was unnecessary now.

"Daria, this is serious." Finn stated. "You ever hot chicks spend all their money on a fat guy? The only fat guys that get hotties are the rich ones."

"Haven't you ever thought there was more to life then getting girls to buy things for you?" Daria asked.

"Of course. I mean, there's boxing." Finn stated. Daria sighed as her comment went right over his head, as it always did.

"_If I tell Mom about this, I'm in trouble for hooky. But Finn won't do this. He's not that stupid. He's pretty stupid, but not dumb enough to get suckered into plastic surgery. I mean, he could outthink Kevin, at least." _

_

* * *

_

"So, the doctor says that for twenty grand, she can make me look beautiful. In other words, I get long bright red hair kinda like Finn's color, beauty marks, dimples, cheekbones, and all that other fancy crap." Daria decided to call up Jane as soon as she could.

"I always thought you were high-maintenance." Jane replied from the phone.

"It gets better. After that, Finn decides he's going to tell off the doctor for selling that stuff to minors."

"Mister 'I-Spend-An-Hour-On-My-Short-Hair' tells of someone for making people look pretty?" Jane was surprised. She didn't know Finn very well, and hadn't practically any time with him, at least as far as Daria knew. But Daria did tell her all of Finn's crazy adventures, and his ways with the ladies. Daria figured it only fair to warn her after she caught Jane making out at Brittany's party.

"After he does, the doctor tells him all her surgeries are consensual, and that she's just giving people what they want. Finn believed her."

"What else is to be expected." Jane replied.

"Then she moves on him and tells him his jawline is too round and he needs liposuction."

"Wow!" Jane suppressed a laugh. "And how did Finn take it?"

"He thinks he's fat."

"Fat's not a word I'd use to describe him." Jane stated.

"That's what I said. Then the doctor sends me home with a pair of fake boobs and Finn with a psychological complex."

"It's the most complex thing to come from his mind." Jane noted. There was a brief period of silence.

"You're worried about something." Jane noted.

"Well..." Daria was nervous. "I'm just wondering whether or not Finn will actually go for the surgeries."

"You wouldn't say that unless you believed he actually would." Jane replied. She was pretty astute, Daria noted. She had a way with people.

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Let Muscles McGee go work out for a bit and then just tell him plastic surgery is stupid. He believes the last thing anyone says to him because that's all he can remember."

"Isn't that a little too harsh." Daria noted.

"You told me that three days ago." Jane replied. "And why are you defending your brother?" Daria's eyes widened at the realization. Did she actually defend her brother, who tormented her constantly since he was old enough to walk and talk? Perhaps it was just the way he had sounded on the bus; so lost and scared. Finn was easily suggestible during those times and Daria had often gotten him to do incredibly stupid things. It was trite and childish looking back on them, and Daria knew she had to be cautious. Of course, she had nothing to worry about. Finn would never get plastic surgery without parental consent. Mom would never allow it, and he'd never go to Dad with it. That was what she believed.

"You still there?" Jane asked from the phone. Daria still couldn't convince herself of the logic.

"Errr..." Daria stated into the phone.

"You're actually worried." Jane teased her. "Daria! I never thought I'd see the day."

"You're not helping." Daria replied. "Look, I got a free pizza for going with Finn today. You wanna maybe swing by later?"

"Sounds good. Nothing else here anyway, and I think Trent might actually be waking up today."

* * *

Daria left her room about half an hour later. She would go downstairs and wait for Jane, who should be over shortly. Before she headed downstairs, though, she took a quick peek into Finn's room. She couldn't see him, but she could hear him exercising. Again.

She pushed her way into the room. Finn was doing crunches.

"What?" He asked.

"_At least your back to normal." _Daria thought.

"Finn, I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't seriously be considering plastic surgery."

"I know." Finn replied, much to Daria's surprise.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, come on, what am I going to spend all my money just to get my jaw fixed. I get all the girls just fine on my own." Finn was surprisingly optimistic. Not exactly something Daria wanted to encourage, but it seemed to serve the correct purpose here.

"So I need to lose weight. Big deal. I'll lose weight the same way everyone else does, with diet and exercise." Finn returned to his crunches.

"Finn, you don't need to lose weight either." Daria replied. "That was just..."

"A sales pitch?" Finn returned. "I got that. That doesn't mean I don't need to lose weight." Daria sighed. It seemed that the less than 1 percent body fat was all Finn could see. She wondered if she should just be glad Finn wasn't considering surgery, but she knew things went deeper than that. There were some health risks associated with having such a low body fat.

"Finn..." Daria started.

"It's okay, Daria, I'm not getting surgery. Mom won't kill you for letting it happen on your watch. You need your pizza money, it's in my wallet on the desk."

"No, Finn, I'm trying to say that you shouldn't just do these things."

"Sure I should." Finn stated. "Think about it, Daria. Sooner or later, one of the swim teams going to mention this to the football team. Then the guys will start shaving off the fat and the girls go after them. I've gotta stay ahead of the game, Daria. I mean, Joey can lose weight very quickly with all the brawls he gets into, Jeffy's never one to be outdone, and Jamie will eat broken glass if it will get him a lady. If I don't start now, game over."

"Finn, listen to me for two seconds..." Daria started.

"Daria, you might not get this, but I like being popular. I like being the hottest guy in school, and having the girls fall over me. It's my thing, you know. And a little working out and dieting isn't going to scare me away from that. I mean, it's easy for you, you're not popular and you don't wear makeup or fix your hair or wear such a hideous outfit." Daria started scowling at her brother. None of these insults were new to her.

"Look Finn, getting to that weight is going to require a lot of sacrifice and you shouldn't be making it." Daria stated. She knew the serious health concerns with having too low body fat, particularly someone who played football like Finn. He was begging to be injured. But Finn couldn't understand any of that. He barely understood how the human body functioned.

"No pain, no gain!" Finn replied in his characteristic optimism.

"Jesus, Finn, how can you be so stupid. I'm trying to help you!" Daria's voice was a mix of anger and pleading.

"You don't try to help me, you're just a cruel heartless bitch who would rather I fall off a cliff then do something nice. You just want me to be a big roly-poly fatass!" Finn's voice had the same mix of anger and despair.

"Stupid jerk!" Daria insulted. "Do whatever you want!" She left the room before Finn could throw her out. She didn't even collect on her money. When Jane arrived, she said nothing about Finn at all. She just said that she was hungry, and wanted to hit Pizza Palace as fast as possible.

* * *

Up in his room, Finn seethed. He worked out until his anger passed.

"_Friggin' Daria. What's she trying to pull, saying she's helping. She doesn't help, she doesn't help anyone. Not me, not Dad. Not anyone." _Finn was starting to feel the pain of the workout, and decided to take a brief break. He drank some water, then stripped off his gym shorts and boxers, and looked at himself naked in the mirror.

"_My God, I am fat." _He said with disgust as he looked at himself in the mirror. His thighs bulged, he had love handles. He could see the fat in his calves. His ass was gigantic.

"_Fatass__! __Porker__! __What the hell is wrong with you__! __You've got a pretty good game going on, trying to pretend you got muscle. But you know__! __You know you're just a big fatass. You will eat all that lasagna, and fill up on bread. Yeah, you'll get dessert when you go on a date. Cheesecake sure is good, you freaking pig__!" _Finn insulted himself mentally. He saw on his desk a plate of homemade cookies that Ashley Beaker had made for him. He threw them in the trash.

"_God, what is wrong with you, Finn. You know better then this. Come on, you're at, what, 5% body fat?" _Finn further chastised himself. He had a long way to go. Five percent times his weight was too much.

"_Don't eat dinner tonight, fatass__!" _Finn put his boxers back on and returned to his workout. "_Nothing other then water and a multivitamin. That has all the daily mineral things. That'll do until you do it. Get back to work, fatass__!" _

_

* * *

_

An entire week passed without the siblings even saying a word to each other. Daria was over Finn's insults soon after the day ended, but she refused to speak to Finn. At first, she assumed nothing was wrong. He was working out more, desperately trying to shave pound after pound, and he'd been skipping dinner, passing off the excuse that he ate after practice, and wasn't hungry. Mom and Dad never pressed it: Daria herself often skipped family dinner time to score pizza with Jane. It was pretty much the same thing.

It wasn't until she was approached by Finn's three friends that she thought something was up. Other then telling embarrassing stories at Brittany's party, she wouldn't speak to Finn's three friends. She didn't even know them by name. However, they approached her in the hallway just before 4th period.

"Yes?" She asked. The three boys started to stutter.

"Err...Daria?" The redhead started.

"We were worried about Finn." The blonde finished.

"Talk to Finn." Daria replied. "I'm not my brother's keeper." She figured these guys, like the rest of the football team, wouldn't be smart enough to get that reference, even if it was from a book as well read as the Bible.

"We did. He didn't tell us anything. You know him, is there something wrong?" The black-haired one asked.

"Talk to Finn." Daria echoed. "I don't have time for this." She left the guys and went to Mr. O'Neill's class. However, she couldn't shake how worried those guys were acting. All three of them had weird looks on their faces, and they wouldn't have approached her, an unpopular girl, without having just cause, or what they thought was just cause.

* * *

Daria still wasn't exactly sure what was motivating her when she peaked in on his exercise routine, but when she looked inside his room, she saw a very strange sight. Finn was doing squats, which was normal, but his entire body was covered in a trash bag.

"What the hell are you doing?" Daria asked. Finn stopped what he was doing and turned around.

"Oh, Daria. What do you want?"

"It's dinnertime." Daria lied, figuring it to be a good opening to talk to Finn. He had missed dinner for nearly ten days in a row. Each day he had an excuse. A good one, but Daria doubted whether any of them were genuine.

"Oh, I don't have an appetite. I usually don't when I work out." Finn replied. He adjusted himself and pulled off the trash bag he was wearing. Daria saw that, rather then his normal gym shorts, Finn was working out in a thick hooded sweatshirt and sweat pants.

"What's with the poncho?"

"Workout secret, heard about it from a guy on the wrestling team. Sweat out the extra calories." Finn smiled.

"Well, you should probably come down." Daria turned around to leave.

"Hey, Daria?" Finn asked. Daria turned around to see Finn pulling his sweatshirt off.

"Am I...making progress?" He asked nervously. Daria regarded her brother's body, and never before had Finn looked so crappy. His entire body was starting to look gaunt, his eyes sagged as if he hadn't been sleeping. He could barely stand with erect posture, as he usually did.

What could Daria say at a moment like this? Finn was coming to her for advice, of all things. If she told him he looked good, he wouldn't believe her, and would push himself even harder. If she told the truth, and told him he looked like hell, he'd push himself harder. Pushing himself this hard was killing him.

"You look fine." Daria replied.

"I mean am I losing...weight." Finn was out of breath.

"_Yes." _Daria thought. Finn was losing weight. But losing weight was causing him to look worse then ever, and even his friends were noticing it. Daria wondered if, tomorrow, the Fashion Club girls would come over to her just like Finn's friends did.

"Finn..." Daria started. She wanted to tell her brother he needed to gain weight. Or at least start eating properly. She wasn't around her brother enough to know how much he'd been eating, but he skipped breakfast and dinner at the house, and, when Daria passed by his table at lunch, she didn't see him with a tray of food. Just a bottle of water.

"_Anorexia?" _That word had been hovering in Daria's head for a little while now. It was almost silly to imagine someone like Finn with such an eating disorder. But each day, the word grew louder in Daria's head. And now, more then ever, she was almost certain of it.

Daria wished she could say something at that moment, but there was nothing she could say. She decided to head downstairs and inform Mom of the matter. Neither Daria nor her mother could force food down Finn's throat, but at least Mom could fix the matter.

* * *

But when she went downstairs, Mom and Dad were nowhere to be found.

"_They were just here, weren't they?" _Daria thought. Both Mom and Dad had been working extra hours this week, and with Finn avoiding meals, they probably hadn't seen more then a glimpse of him ever since he got this way. Where did they go?

It no longer mattered. There was only one other person she could call now for advice, and that was Jane. Daria had no idea if Jane would have advice regarding the matter or not. But Daria was out of ideas and who knew how much time she had left to fix this problem.

Daria dialed the phone, and listened to it ring.

"Yo." Jane answered the phone after four rings, which was normal for her. But Daria couldn't here her voice. Sometime between the second ring and the third, Daria heard a dull _thud _come from upstairs. It was a thick, heavy sound, and there were only a few things that heavy on the second floor that would make that sound from hitting carpet.

It was doubtful one of the bed legs broke. Finn didn't have free weights upstairs. It could only be the sound of a body hitting the ground.

* * *

Daria hung the phone up quickly and nearly dashed to Finn's room. Things fell all the time in his room, and it was nothing major. This might not have been anything major either. But Daria had seen the way her brother looked just a few minutes: Barely able to stand, pushing himself to extremes. She had every reason to be worried.

Her suspicions were confirmed a moment later, when she pushed her way into his room. When she pushed her way into the door, her brother was lying face-down on the floor.

Even if he was exhausted, Finn would climb into bed if he wanted to sleep. And there was the thud. The evidence was clear to Daria: Finn had collapsed. He had put that trash bag back on, and it looked like he was in the middle of exercise when he had fainted.

Daria thought quickly, and grabbed a pair of scissors from Finn's desk and cut down from the beck to get him out of that trash bag. When she touched her brother, she was amazed to find out how hot and sweaty he was. He must have passed out from a combination of exhaustion and heat stroke.

Daria paid attention during health class, and knew how to ascertain whether her brother was in mortal danger. She breathed a sigh of relief when she discovered that he was breathing and had a pulse, but now she had a new dilemma.

"_Should I call the hospital?" _Daria thought. It would not have been wise to use a thermometer with her brother unconscious, but his vital signs seemed strong. His heart was racing, presumably due to exercise, and his breathing was neither staggered nor shallow. In fact, he almost looked peaceful, if gaunt.

Ultimately, Daria decided to do so. He could have been suffering heat stroke. It wasn't a very hot day at all, but Finn's body temperature felt very high. Unsurprising, considering he was working out in a trash bag so thick it could hold 2x4's with nails sticking out of them.

* * *

While the ambulance was on the way, Daria removed her brother's sweatshirt and sweat pants, leaving him in his gym shorts. She remembered to remove constricting clothing when people were overheated.

"_Finn..." _Daria looked down at her brother. This obsession with his weight had taken it's toll on him, and, although Daria knew she wasn't responsible for what happened, she couldn't help but feel inadequate. It wasn't her brother's increased exercise that did this to him: it was his lack of eating. Anorexia. And Daria had suspected this, and yet, she did nothing about it.

She wouldn't normally get involved in something like this. How people screwed themselves up was their own business. Finn came to his own conclusion about this: Daria did not encourage him to develop such a condition. She did tell him to do as he pleased, but that encouraged nothing.

But this was no longer a blame game to Daria. All that mattered to her now was her brother's health and safety.

Daria heard a knock downstairs.

The paramedics were at the door, and Daria led them to Finn's room. He hadn't recovered, and the paramedics started to get him into the ambulance. While two of them worked, a third grilled Daria for questions regarding what had happened.

Daria informed the paramedic that she had heard him fall to the ground. He didn't have any bruises or other injuries on him.

"Do you know if he has any allergies?" The parademic asked.

"No." Daria answered.

"Do you know his blood type?"

"Sorry." Daria answered.

"Does he have any pre-existing medical conditions or a history of fainting?" The paramedic quizzed. Daria paused for a moment.

"I never remember him fainting before today." Daria answered. "And he isn't on medications or anything. But..." Daria hesitated for a minute.

"Miss, this is important. Does he take any illegal drugs?" The paramedic asked. Daria knew her brother drank on occasion, often sneaking to one of his friend's houses. But he probably wouldn't have done that recently. After all, beer was calories.

"No, not that." Daria replied. The paramedic looked around the room as Daria paused.

"Is he a wrestler?" The paramedic asked, looking at the torn up trash bag.

"Huh?"

"A few years ago, some guy collapsed working out. He was wearing a trash bag too."

"No, Finn's not a wrestler, but he said he learned that trick from a member of the wrestling team."

"Figures." The paramedic replied. "Wrestlers are always obsessed about their weight. They're not much different from supermodels."

"Err..." Daria started. Why was this so awkward?

"My brother...he's...anorexic." Daria finally admitted. The paramedic furrowed her brow, and quickly wrote it down.

"Do you know how much he's eaten?"

"Not much." Daria stated. "I haven't seen him eat at all."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Ten days, at most." Daria stated.

"You knew about it?" The paramedic asked.

"I had my suspicions." Daria stated.

"What the hell kind of sister are you?" The paramedic frowned. Daria's eyes widened. The paramedic didn't say anything longer, and went back downstairs. The other paramedics seemed to have finished loading Finn into the ambulance. Daria followed them outside.

"Do you have the contact numbers of your parents?" The paramedic asked.

"Well, I'm not sure where they are right now." Daria gave them her mother's office number. She would let her mother contact her father; Jake Morgendorffer was not very good at dealing with people giving him sensitive news.

"Are you coming?" The paramedic was still giving Daria an accusing eye. Daria had no desire to fight her at the moment.

"I'll follow. I've got a friend." Daria stated.

"All right." The paramedic jumped back into the ambulance.

* * *

Daria stood in the yard, with the front door open, watching the ambulance drive off. It took her ten minutes to call Jane.

"Hey, did something happen. You didn't answer when I picked up." Jane stated.

"Jane." Daria stated. There was silence between the two for a second.

"I'll be over in a minute." Jane stated.

"Uhhh, is Trent up?" Daria asked before her friend could hang the phone up.

"Yeah, surprisingly. Why?"

"Bring him over with the car. I need a lift."

"A lift?" Jane was surprised.

"Yeah. The bitch needs a ride to the hospital."

* * *

Jane was over very quickly. Daria informed both her and her brother Trent of what had happened earlier tonight.

"Wow." Jane frowned. Trent didn't say anything.

"You really are worried, Daria." Jane stated.

"Of course I'm worried!" Daria snapped. "My brother's in the hospital."

"I would think you would have thought it poetic justice. He judges girls by their looks, makes them feel insecure when they don't buy him gifts." Jane stated. Daria was about to open her mouth to protest, but there was nothing she could say. In every thing she had ever said to Jane about her brother, Daria had put him down. Finn was a jerk, Finn was callous, Finn was vain, narcissistic, shallow, a bastard, an asshole, and the list went on.

"Daria, this isn't your fault." Jane immediately changed her tone.

"No, it's not." Daria agreed, but her agreement sounded weak.

"Of course it's not. You tormented a fourteen-year-old boy until he got an eating disorder. See, it sounds even stupider out loud." Jane stated. Daria's frown only deepened with that.

"That's not helping, is it?" Jane stated.

"Hey, you two are worrying too much." Trent stated from the driver's seat. Both women quieted when he spoke.

"He'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about him..." Daria couldn't finish the sentence. "It's just...well..." There was more awkward silence.

"We're here." Trent stated. He pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Jane directed him to the emergency room ward. Once inside, Daria and Trent took a seat while Jane tried to ask for details about Finn. She had asked to do it, because Daria had to be practically dragged into the hospital waiting room.

"He's stable, from what we know. There was no operating or anything."

"I didn't think there would be." Color started to return to Daria's face.

"You can go see him, if you want." Jane stated. Daria held her breath for a moment. She knew she should. It wouldn't do for Finn to wake up in the hospital, being confused about his surroundings. But she was scared. Finn never had a kind word to say to her even when he was in pain. The fact that he admitted she was honest on the bus ride to Dr. Shar's was practically miraculous. He would blame her for this, that was for certain. And the feuding would continue.

* * *

But Daria still decided she needed to see Finn with her own eyes. So she let a nurse lead her back. She turned corners and passed patients in temporary beds while they rested. Eventually, the nurse lead Daria to a small little bed, separated from the outside world by a curtain. She pulled it back to reveal her brother, lying peacefully asleep on a hospital bed. There was an IV in his arm and an identification band on his wrist, but he was breathing unassisted and wasn't making any sounds of pain or protest.

Daria sat and watched her brother. She couldn't concentrate on anything else. Time no longer had a meaning for her.

She wasn't praying for Finn's recovery: she already knew it would happen. Instead, she thought about herself and Finn, and the sibling rivalry that pervaded the two of them. Jane and Trent were the only other two siblings she knew, and the two of them had a great, if almost passive, relationship. Trent defended Jane and Jane defended Trent. Trent gave Jane rides to places, if he could remember it. Jane accompanied her brother to his band's gigs. Sure, Jane insulted Trent and called him a deadbeat, but she also said the nicest things about him.

It was nothing like the relationship between these two siblings. Daria had never gone to one of her brother's football games or boxing matches willingly. She was always dragged by their parents. She never cheered for him, she cut him down ruthlessly with nasty words, and let others do it as well.

And he did the same to her. He taunted her constantly, and said all manner of horrible things. He never showed her a shred of mercy. Everything about her seemed to upset him, and he wasted no time antagonizing her whenever he could.

And what was the end result of all this stupid conflict. Would it continue until one of them died? Like their mother's feud with her two sisters.

"_This isn't what I want." _Daria thought. Her brother was still a shallow jerk who made her life miserable, but she didn't want him to suffer. Not physically, anyway.

* * *

Finn's eyes opened sometime later. Not that Daria didn't expect them too.

"What...are you doing here." Finn's voice was groggy, his eyes were bleary. That IV probably had sedatives of some kind in it.

"You're in the hospital." Daria's voice returned to it's normal pitch. "You fainted." Finn didn't say anything. He had been in hospital emergency rooms before: He had been injured in football and got in many fights.

"You brought me here, then." Finn looked around to see no one else around.

"Yeah." Daria stated. She expected her brother to get indignant again, but he didn't. Perhaps it was the sedatives.

"Finn, you collapsed because you haven't been eating." Daria stated. She wasn't accusing or trying to condemn him, but he had to know the truth. And perhaps the only time he'd listen to her was when he was put in such a compromising position.

"Yeah." He agreed with her, much to Daria's surprise.

"And you know that's not what you're supposed to do." Daria stated again.

"Thanks for the lecture." Finn's head fell back onto the bed.

"I'm not lecturing you, I...I know you think I'm just busting you. But not now. Finn, there's nothing wrong with you. Physically, anyway. Women want you, men want to be you. You're athletic, coordinated, strong, and handsome. You're a statue of a Greek god come to life. You don't need plastic surgery, you don't need to lose weight, you don't need to starve yourself to be pretty." She praised her brother. Finn said absolutely nothing, but he actually looked sad for a minute.

Daria knew what her brother was thinking.

"Don't listen to that doctor, her job is to make you feel bad. Stop letting other people make you feel bad about yourself." Daria instructed. She knew how this problem started. She remembered Finn's complaints about dinner, an eternity and a week ago. Some girl called him shallow, and Finn felt self-conscious.

* * *

Finn was silent a while longer. Perhaps he was having a difficult time speaking due to the sedatives. But Daria could see him forcing himself to speak.

"Th...Thanks." Finn's eyes were watering, something Daria never saw from him often. Finn always had such a defiant, tough-guy face around her. His head lay back limply on the bed, and he fell asleep again. Daria stood up a moment later, and walked back outside to Jane and Trent.

"How'd it go?" Jane asked. Daria didn't answer her. But Daria knew how it went. She got through to her brother, and he agreed with her that starving himself wasn't the answer for beauty. There'd be a more complex discussion once Finn was no longer sedated, and had some food inside of him. But she got through to him. Finally. At least for once, even if Finn was drugged up and ill, he didn't think her whole purpose in life was to make him suffer.

* * *

Finn awoke a while later, still a little delirious as to where he was. He had no idea what time it was. He didn't want to sleep anymore. He briefly thought of pulling the IV out of his arm since it was making him groggy, but he decided against it. The doctors would probably get pissed. They were doctors, they had to do this crap.

"_Mom will hit the floor when she sees the bill." _Finn remembered the last time he was in the hospital, and his mother nearly caused a riot when she saw the bill.

Finn stood up, gripping the IV drip for balance. He was missing most of his clothes, clad in only a hospital gown, and he wondered where everyone had gone. Daria would have left, but his parents were nowhere to be seen. Had they merely not arrived? Was there a holdup? Probably, hospitals were so strict about insurance, and Dad would hardly be calm enough to deal with them in a civil way.

He pulled back the curtain and looked around at where he was. The hospital ward was quiet. This was the emergency ward, but not the ER, and patients would be here recovering. There were a few sounds coming from nearby, but Finn didn't pay attention to them. With his head swimming, the words were blurring together anyway.

His gaze came to rest upon a white board, where names were written next to numbers. They must have been patient names and what bed they were lying in. Finn saw his own name listed. He would have skipped over it entirely had he not seen a familiar name.

"_Brooke Cameron? Brooke?" _Finn thought. Brooke was in the hospital? He had seen her back in school, with a shapely new waist, between Finn's visit to Dr. Shar and now. What was she doing here? Did something happen to her too? She couldn't have had the same problem he had: Brooke went and actually got liposuction, and that was permanent.

* * *

Finn then heard noises coming from down the ward. It was his mother's voice, and she did not seem pleased. Finn went back to his bed and lay down. Sure enough, both his parents were at his bed within a minute.

"Oh, Finn!" His mother exclaimed.

"Hi." Finn stated.

"Are you alright."

"Yeah." Finn stated. "I really did mess something up." Finn tried to chuckle, but his mouth couldn't form the noise for laughter.

"Sport?"

"I learned..I learned my lesson. Did Daria tell you what happened?" Finn asked.

"No, I got a call from the office saying you were here." His mother stated.

"We rushed over here as soon as we good. Lousy SUV's hogging the..." Jake started to rant, but he yelped when Helen stepped on his foot.

"Well..." Finn looked at them and smiled. "It won't happen again." Finn stated. Helen looked at him as if she wanted to say more, and Finn knew she would have too, but that answer did seem to satisfy her.

Finn told his parents of his visit to Dr. Shar's office, and how upset it had made him, and what started him down the path to not eating at all.

"Well, I certainly will have some words with that Doctor Shar..." Helen started.

"I'm better now." Finn stated. "There's no point. I won't make that mistake again."

"Well, that's the most important thing right now." Helen stated. "Why did you think Daria was the one who told us all of this?"

Finn couldn't answer her. He tried to chalk it up to the sedatives. Even now, it still felt weird in his head. Daria had caused Finn nothing but grief his entire life. She was cruel, played pranks on him, said the most horrible things, and embarrassed him in public at every opportunity. A kind word never escaped her lips.

But she was the one who first told him he didn't need to lose weight. And Finn didn't believe her. Daria was still cruel, but that didn't mean she was always cruel, Finn had learned.

Finn would never admit it aloud, but that lesson was more important to him than the news flash about anorexia.

* * *

Helen took Finn home from the hospital that night. Daria was asleep when the group got home. The next day was a Saturday. Neither parent was working, and Finn and Jake had fun making a large pancake breakfast for the whole family, including Daria. Finn made a conscious effort not to slip into insulting her as he usually did at the table, and, to his surprise, Daria said nothing either. The two of them didn't speak to each other, but there were no insults at that breakfast.

After breakfast was over, Finn stated that he had made plans that day, although, in truth, he had only made them on the spur of the moment. Helen seemed a little reluctant at first, but, after seeing her son eat five pancakes, bacon, and two scrambled eggs, she relented.

"Just make sure you eat lunch." She ordered. Finn wanted to tell her that he'd throw up if he ate too much, but he decided against it. A light lunch was still lunch. Finn no longer thought he was fat, but he'd get fat if he overate.

Instead, Finn stopped by the florist's, and picked up some yellow lilies. Yellow, the florist said, was for health in the language of flowers. Finn didn't get it, but eagerly picked up the flowers and went to the hospital.

"I'm here to visit Brooke Cameron. My name is Finn Morgendorffer." Finn stated. He had no idea if Brooke would want to see him. If she was in the hospital because of the lipo, she'd be blaming him. But, to his surprise, Brooke had no visitors in now and wanted to see him.

Finn went into to see her. Brooke's nose was completely covered in bandages, and Finn wondered what had happened. The gossip mill would probably be in full swing come Monday, with that bitch Tori Jericho leading the pack.

"Hi, Brooke." Finn held up the flowers.

"For me?" Brooke was enchanted. Finn rarely ever bought gifts.

"Are you alright?" Finn asked.

"I had a nasal relapse." Brooke sniffed. "I'm ugly! My nose, it..." Brooke starting sobbing.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Finn took a seat in the wooden chair next to the bed.

"It's not.!" Brooke sobbed. "I'm hideous!"

"Shhh..." Finn tried to let his voice soothe her, and, slowly, it seemed to work.

"Listen, Brooke, why did you think you would need a nose job anyway?" Finn posed. Brooke looked at him in shock, as if she never expected him to ask that of her.

"To get in the Fashion Club. To be gorgeous. To be noticed by all the boys." Brooke listed off reasons. Finn thought the girl was stupid. To be accepted by girls like Sandi? To get in his good graces? There were much easier ways to do that: bribes.

"Brooke, you never needed surgery. Look at where it landed you."

"But I wasn't beautiful!" Brooke protested. Finn silently acknowledged that to be true.

"You aren't going to be beautiful if you just try to live up to everyone's standards and mutilate yourself. Look around you? Did Tori come to visit you when you weren't beautiful? Did Sandi?" Finn asked. He had no idea if they did or not. But kindness was foreign to those girls.

"Listen, I'm no good at giving advice. But, you know, if you want to talk about stuff, I wrote my number on the back of the card from the florists." Finn smiled at her, and Brooke smiled back.

"I'm going to get going. You think about things, okay?" Finn stood up to leave, and he almost hoped that bitch Tori could see him now.

"_Shallow?" _Finn wondered. "_Maybe I am. But at least there is more to me then looking pretty. Was that what you meant on the bus, Daria?" _Finn thought. Was Daria actually trying to look out for him.

"_No." _Finn thought. Daria was just shocked by what had happened. But, just like his mother, things were starting to change in the Morgendorffer clan.

"_What is in the water here, Lawndale?" _Finn wondered. "_I could make a mint marketing it." _Finn joked as he left the hospital. He didn't want his eyes to water in public. They only watered a few times, usually against his will. Every time Finn spent time with his father, they usually watered once the time was finished, and Finn was alone. They watered when he was happy, when he spent time with someone else, and enjoyed it.

They watered whenever Finn felt loved.


	7. History on Skates

"Wow, that was some party, thanks!" Finn chuckled to his friends as he exited Joey's car in front of his house.

"_Man, that was quite a night!" _Finn thought to himself. Joey's mother was out of town tonight, so he had decided to invite all the guys over to watch the game. Of course, a boy's night with no parents around meant football, wings, and all the whiskey Finn could drink.

Jeffy never did say where he got the booze, but it didn't matter because, like a real pal, Jeffy didn't ask everyone to chip in for it.

"_God, I love those guys." _Finn laughed to himself as he walked up towards the house. His mother and father would already be asleep considering it was just about midnight. Although Finn did have a house key for this situation, he would never have been able to get that key in the door without waking his mother. That sound of the deadbolt unlocking always seemed to wake her. But Finn knew exactly how to get in the house at a time like this.

* * *

Before he got a chance to exact his master plan, however, another car drove up to the house. Finn had never seen in before, but from out of the backseat stepped Daria.

"Thanks." She told whoever was in the car, Finn couldn't make them out.

"What are you doing out so late?" Finn asked once the car had left.

"What about you? Don't you have a massive history test tomorrow?"

"Why would I need to know that? Football party's way more important than history. It's like the say, those who learn from the past become unpopular."

"You're drunk, aren't you?" Daria stated.

"I'm not drunk, just tipsy. Now keep it down."

"You couldn't possibly get a key in the door in your condition."

"I don't need to. I can climb to the roof and get in through my window." Finn stated.

"And how do you propose getting through the window.

"I took that mesh screen thing down before I left. Come on, Daria, I've been doing this for months now. Jeez, how do you sneak in late at night?"

"Well, I was planning on using a key like a normal person. But I suppose the B+E method works too."

"Daria, it's only B+E when you break something!" Finn laughed. "Come on, don't you know how to sneak in?" Finn scaled the roof effortlessly. He resisted the urge to laugh when Daria struggled. Removing his shoes, Finn walked across the roof and gently glided into his room, with Daria following.

"Now, I didn't see you, you didn't see me." Finn stated once the two were safely inside. Daria nodded before leaving his room. Once he was alone, Finn laughed.

"_What a perfect night. Great party, good fun, bore witness to Daria's humiliation. It's not like she can use the patented Finn Morgendorffer when I'm not using it. Nothing could possibly go wrong." _

_

* * *

_

"_A fifty-five!_" Finn got his history test back with dismay. Mr. DeMartino graded tests surprisingly quickly in his class, and, whenever Finn got them, he never seemed to do well. But this was bad. A grade this low meant Finn was almost on academic probation. And that meant unless he started getting higher grades, some really higher grades, he was going to be benched.

"_Why didn't I just try to get a by? Oh yeah, because DeMartino sucks!" _Finn moaned to himself. He needed to get some points under his name, pronto.

"_But how?" _Finn thought. Mr. DeMartino would never agree to extra credit. He'd just rant and rave and his eye would bulge out of it's socket.

"_Hmmm..." _Finn thought as he walked out of history class to meet his buddies, where he found them chatting with Kevin Thompson.

"Yeah, I've got it down for the first period." Joey stated to his friends.

"No way, halfway through the third, dude, he's gotta work first!" Jamie replied.

"What's going on?" Finn asked. "What are you guys talking about?"

"The roller hockey game, dude." Jeffy answered. "Don't you know about it?"

"I think I saw it on the event calendar, but I didn't pay much attention. That's where the faculty plays against some DJ's, right? What's so exciting about that?"

"The betting pool!" Jamie replied.

"Oh, so you gamble on who's going to win?" Finn asked. Although Finn liked to gamble, there weren't many games that caught his interest to play. Poker required too much concentration, and Finn always thought the game took too long. Finn always got too anxious sitting around a table.

"Nothing like that." Kevin replied. "Come on, didn't you see last year's game?"

"Kevin, I moved here this year." Finn reminded.

"Oh yeah." Kevin replied sheepishly. "Anyway, Mr. DeMartino had a heart attack during the game!"

"Oh, wow!" Finn replied. It didn't surprise him, when he thought about it. Mr. DeMartino was an aggressive person who, if his breath was to be believed, smoked way too much. A high-stress sport might push him over the edge.

"There's a big feud between DJ Randy and him." Jodie and Mack came over to greet the group, noticing them talking.

"You gonna come?" Jodie asked.

"Sure." Finn thought. It would be funny to see if Mr. DeMartino actually had a heart attack. Although Finn didn't wish him any harm, he watched hockey just to see if a brawl would break out in the stands.

"So what's your bet?" Jodie asked. It didn't surprise Finn that she would organize this; she was certainly a meticulous planner.

"What are the odds?" Finn asked. He knew enough about gambling to know what odds were and how they affected payoff.

"First period is 3 to 1, second is 2, third is 3, last is 5. You get a minute range." Jodie pulled a folder from her backpack.

"What happens if he doesn't get one?" Finn asked. All of the other students stared at him strangely.

"What? There's nothing wrong with being an informed gambler." Finn replied.

"Well, the odds of that happening are 15 to 1."

"Those...don't sound very nice." Finn noted.

"They're realistic." Mack replied. Finn laughed.

"I'm short on cash today. I'll place it tomorrow when I buy my ticket." Finn replied. He darted off towards his next class.

* * *

During math class, Finn couldn't help but let his mind wander back to the bet's being placed on Mr. DeMartino. It was kind of funny, that the students thought he would get a heart attack. The payoff wasn't that great for the time range, unless of course, he made it through the entire event. But this wasn't about the payoff to the students, this was about the excitement, the ability to see the teacher go down. Mr. DeMartino's eccentrics certainly set many of the students at Lawndale off. Hatred for him was surpassed only by Janet Barch, but she didn't have a heart attack last year.

Then Finn remembered something. Finn knew that Mr. DeMartino was either very poor or very cheap. The clothes he wore appeared to be hand-me-downs, and that was putting things kindly. Finn didn't know how much a teacher's salary was, but DeMartino's would be nothing to brag about.

"_I don't really need the money." _Finn thought. "_But, maybe, just maybe...And if he treats me like he treats Kevin? I think I found a way to get my extra credit." _

_

* * *

_

There was a practice after school, but Finn told Coach Gibson he needed to speak with Mr. DeMartino for a moment, and that he wouldn't be very long.

"Mr. D, do you have a moment?" Finn was normally not very polite when he addressed Mr. DeMartino.

"What is it?" Mr. DeMartino did not seemed pleased to see Finn after class, when there was no need for him to be there.

"I...err...wanted to ask you about the roller hockey game? I'm told there's one between the faculty and some DJ's?" Finn knew that a direct approach would never work with Mr. DeMartino. He couldn't ask about extra credit now; he had no leverage.

"Check the school calendar." Mr. DeMartino stated. "All the details are there."

"I know when it is. I heard, though, that something happened last year. To you."

"Why would I discuss that with you?" The teacher replied.

"I'm just saying, you know, I'm one of the top athletes here, and I'm pretty mean on a pair of skates. I just wanted to ask if you needed any training for the game? After all, we wouldn't you to get another one of those...well..." Finn turned his charms in overdrive. Although he typically used his charms on the ladies, he knew how to amend his charms to win men over to his side. As much as Finn loved to fight, he didn't like fighting people unless he had a reason, and Finn knew that sometimes he would need to talk his way out of fights.

"I don't need to be trained, sonny boy. I'm already training for it?"

"Who is your coach?" Finn asked.

"Listen, sonny boy. I don't know what you think you're trying to accomplish, but I don't need your assistance to beat that moron DJ Randy."

"Who's that?" Finn asked. One of the DJ's, Finn reasoned, but there was something specific between them. Finn figured soon after he asked that there was a personal vendetta between the two. Maybe DJ Randy caused Mr. D's heart attack. Finn reasoned he'd ask Mack at practice.

"Look, Mister Morgendorffer, as much as I love spending time with you, you have a football practice, and I have my training." Mr. DeMartino was not giving an inch, and excessively sarcastic. It was like talking to Daria.

"Look, Mister D, I'm not trying to mock you or anything. It's just...well...I want to bring my grade up. I want to get some extra credit, and I'm willing to train you to be the best thing on skates since Gretsky."

"Gretsky was on ice skates." Mr. DeMartino corrected.

"I know that, I'm just saying." Finn stated.

"If your grades concern you, sonny boy, might I suggest you actually apply yourself on the work I do assign." Mister DeMartino was forceful. Finn sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. Mr. DeMartino started putting his supplies away in his desk.

"There's a betting pool." Finn stated.

"Isn't that lovely." Mr. DeMartino replied sarcastically.

"Everyone thinks you're going to get another heart attack. Your safety is just a big game to them." Finn stated.

"And when I do win, things will be that much sweeter." Mr. DeMartino replied apathetically.

"The odds on you not getting a heart attack pay off 15 to 1." Finn stated. Mr. DeMartino paused once Finn stated that. Perhaps that meant the teacher had a passion for gambling as well. It made sense. As broke as he was, maybe that was due to gambling debts.

"I don't think you can bet on yourself." Finn replied. "But, I can place a bet for you." Finn made his move.

"If I bet, say, fifty dollars and then I train you to survive the whole match, we'd get...how much." Finn tried to calculate in his head.

"Seven hundred and fifty." Mr. DeMartino replied.

"I'd only take back my initial investment." Finn offered. "I'm sure you could use seven hundred." Mr. DeMartino certainly seemed intrigued by this.

"And if I can get the other students to bet more on the match, wouldn't that make the odds go up for me?" The trap was set, and Finn smiled.

"You know, son, many people would consider this kind of arrangement illegal!" Mr. DeMartino explained.

"Betting on sporting events is already illegal." Finn countered. "In for a penny, in for a pound. Besides, I'm not asking for you to just give me points. I want to be able to earn some extra credit. Give me a bonus assignment or something. You can't lose." Finn laid out his offer on the table. For a second, he wondered if Mr. DeMartino would just throw it back in his face. The teacher actually seemed to seriously consider the offer being made.

"You're actually quite cunning when you put your mind to mischief." Mr. DeMartino had a strange concept of praise.

"It's a talent." Finn stated. True enough, his many years of mercenary bets with Daria, and his games of investing time in a lady and seeing the rewards it reaped gave Finn a great understanding of the nature of gambling. He put a lot of stock into this bet. In truth, Finn had very little to lose as well. If he was out fifty bucks because Mr. DeMartino did have a heart attack, he was out fifty bucks. The only thing Finn stood to lose was this history extra credit. If he couldn't get it here, he could probably score some points from Mr. O'Neill, who would be only too happy to help a "struggling sensitive student" or however that hippy crap worked.

"Why can't you put that kind of effort in your schoolwork?" DeMartino asked. Finn wasn't about to answer that question; it was a trap. His mother asked him that kind of question all the time, and they wouldn't understand the answer.

"Do we have a deal?" Finn extended his hand. DeMartino thought about it a little longer, and then shook his hand. Finn smiled.

"Alright, then, I'll stop by after practice. We can work out a schedule later. I hope you're prepared to bring it, I'm a mean coach." Finn left the classroom and started to head for the gym.

"_Yes, Mr. DeMartino. I'm a mean coach. We'll see how things go when I'm the teacher." _Finn was amazed at how he was able to get Mr. D to agree to this proposal. Perhaps the concept of getting richer at the expense of his students was an appealing concept. Finn understood; it was the same way extorting money out of Daria, or receiving a bribe from his mother.

Finn wasn't about to stand in the way of Mr. DeMartino. Whether the teacher won, lost, or had a heart attack or not was of no consequence. The teacher could do as he pleased.

But, given that people always did as they pleased, Finn reasoned there was nothing against turning a profit.

* * *

Mr. DeMartino seemed to be devoting his attention to cardio exercises, Finn noticed once he brought himself up to the weight room. Finn wondered briefly why Mr. D simply wouldn't join a gym and get a trainer for such conditioning, but Finn reasoned that it would require payment, and he certainly wouldn't do that.

"Not bad." Finn appraised Mr. DeMartino's work, and found himself somewhat impressed. Mr. D was certainly attempting to win.

"Oh, there you are." Mr. DeMartino returned.

"We're definitely doing to need to do more aerobic, cardio exercises, as well as get some practice on skates." Finn stated. The bet the students had did not hinge on whether or not the faculty or the DJ's won the game. DiMartino only needed to survive. That made things significantly easier for Finn, although, Finn reasoned, if Mr. D was winning the game, the feeling of victory might help keep him in the game. When Finn was boxing against a tougher opponent, landing a good punch always gave him an adrenaline rush, and it worked as a great painkiller.

Finn got to work, and he was surprised to see how much Mr. D was really focusing on this. Whatever his motives, Finn found them irrelevant. It was easier to train someone, though, who wanted to win. The first day of exercise, Finn knew he was going to ride Mr. D hard. He needed to make him sweat, suffer, and feel nothing but pain the next day, for the more Mr. D pushed himself, the stronger he would become, and the hardier he would get. That was key for winning the bet.

"Come on, harder!" Finn shouted as he and Mr. D did elevated pushups. Finn did at least a hundred a day, but Mr. DeMartino was not at that level. After thirty, Mr. D started to slagger, and after seventy, he was really out of breath.

"Wa...Water." The teacher stated.

"If you can talk, you don't need it!" Finn was every bit as brutal as he promised. The teacher somehow managed to get out the last leg. As soon as he did, however, his arms started to quiver, and gave out under his weight. Mr. D fell face first into the mat.

"That's what I want to see." Finn himself was winded, but not nearly as out of breath as Mr. DeMartino. Finn did the exercise right alongside his teacher, and Finn himself was feeling good. The same could not be said of Mr. DeMartino, who looked absolutely exhausted. Finn allowed the teacher to drink water.

"I told you, by the end of this week, you'll hate me."

"You didn't actually say that." Mr. DeMartino corrected.

"I did say I was cruel." Finn replied. The teacher did need a break to catch his breath, Finn reasoned.

"So, Mr. D, what were you thinking my extra assignment could be?" Finn asked. He realized he probably would need a head start on the assignment so he could get his grade up quickly and away from academic probation.

"Choosing an assignment is complicated, sonny boy." Mr. DeMartino replied. "It's not just pulling a date out of a hat."

"Sure it is. Just pick a year that already happened." Finn was irreverently cheerful, and DeMartino started to scowl.

"Son, history is not just a bunch of dates and dead people."

"I know." Finn replied. "I mean, the Queen's still alive, right?" DeMartino seemed to growl.

"What?" Finn asked.

"Son, do you ever think that maybe there's a reason to go to school?"

"Truancy laws?" Finn joked. DeMartino did not appreciate it.

"Okay, fine, you want to say it? I'm stupid, I don't do well, it's my own fault, so on and so on." Finn was annoyed, and he'd say anything at this point to get DeMartino to shut up and get back to work.

DeMartino didn't reply, but his face told Finn that saying those insults about himself were not what DeMartino wanted to hear. That came a shock to Finn: Didn't he live for this sort of stuff. Didn't the pain and fear of students give him a hard-on?

"Alright, break's over. Back to work." Finn replied. Conversation was going on far too long. Besides, any more conversation and one of them was liable to kill the other.

* * *

For an entire week, the procedure followed. After any sort of practice, Finn and Mr. DeMartino would do heavy workouts. The progress Mr. DeMartino made was amazing. Finn considered telling the teacher not to smoke, but ultimately decided against it. Finn knew a number of smokers, and they often jonesing if they didn't get their nicotine fix. They became irritable, cranky, and went through withdraw. Finn did not know how long DeMartino had been smoking, but it probably had been for a long time. It wouldn't do to waste all that progress because DeMartino couldn't function.

He did tell him to cut back on the cigarettes though, although Finn wondered if Mr. D would actually do it.

* * *

During the fourth day of training, Finn and Mr. DeMartino had a visitor. An older woman, probably another teacher, had stopped by with a container of Tupperware covered in tin foil.

"Anthony." The woman smiled at him. Finn and Mr. DeMartino had moved to the gym in order to practice on skates. At the notice of the visitor, DeMartino stopped what he was doing to watch her. This lack of concentration caused him to collide straight into Finn. Both men fell in a heap.

"That's no way to beat the DJ." Finn moaned in pain. The woman put down her Tupperware and helped Mr. DeMartino to his feet, while Finn got himself up.

"Hello, Claire." In contrast to Mr. DeMartino's normal scowl and bulging eye, the teacher had a smile, and his eyes squinted slightly as he regarded the woman.

"Oh dear, young man, are you okay?" The woman asked kindly to Finn. Finn dusted himself off and removed his helmet.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I guess there's a reason for safety pads, after all." Finn stated.

"How are you today, Claire?" Mr. DeMartino spoke in a quiet, soft voice, and Finn wondered if the collision had given him a concussion. Soft words from this rabid timber wolf?

"I am well, Anthony. Thank you. I heard that you were in training for the roller hockey derby." She smiled at him. Was this "Claire" a teacher? Finn thought he had seen her in the hallway before, but she wasn't one of Finn's teachers.

"Oh, Anthony, who is your friend?" Claire asked warmly. Finn actually found himself smiling a little. Claire was a pretty woman who wore a pink dress and large jewelry. Her smile was warm and inviting, and Finn wouldn't have minded having her as a teacher. Between Mr. D and Barch, he had enough enemies on the faculty.

"I'm Finn Morgendorffer." Finn introduced.

"I am Claire Defoe." The woman introduced. "I am the art teacher." She smiled. Finn smiled back at her. Now Finn knew why he didn't see her: he didn't take art. Finn had no skill at painting, his figures always seemed crude. As such, Finn stopped taking art as soon as he was able. There was more to art than painting, Finn knew, but he hadn't the patience to find out if he was good at anything.

Finn's eyes darted back to Mr. DeMartino, and the man could barely have balance on his skates. He was lost in Ms. Defoe's eyes. He looked almost as star-struck as Stacy the time she first saw Finn without his shirt on.

"_You've got to be kidding me." _Finn thought. "_Mr. DeMartino has a crush." _This gossip was pure gold, although no one would believe it without pictures.

"_And besides." _Finn chuckled to himself. "_Some things are just too funny to share." _

"I made you some food, Anthony." Ms. Defoe told Mr. DeMartino. "I knew that you had been working hard, and you really must be careful not to neglect nutrition.

"Why...thank you, Claire. That's very considerate." Mr. DeMartino stuttered a bit, and nearly fell to the floor. Finn was about to as well, with laughter.

"Ms. Defoe." Finn commented. "That is quite a lovely necklace." Finn complimented.

"Why, thank you, Finn." Ms. Defoe smiled at him.

"I mean it. Turquoise is such a great color for us redheads, and the cut on those pieces is fantastic! Where did you get it?"

"I made it myself two years ago." Ms. Defoe explained.

"Get out!" Finn was actually surprised. "You made this, it's incredible!"

"Hand to God." Ms. Defoe laughed.

"I've always wanted something in turquoise." Finn stated. "But everything at the stores is just too...feminine."

"You should consider General Art II." Ms. Defoe stated. "The final project in that class is with any medium you please."

"No fooling?" Finn asked.

"Within reason, of course. But turquoise could be arranged." Ms. Defoe smiled.

"Wow, I'll have to remember that when I do course selection for next trimester." Finn stated.

"It was an absolute pleasure to speak with you, Finn." Ms. Defoe replied. "Goodbye, Anthony."

"Goodbye, Claire." Mr. DeMartino smiled back at her. Ms. Defoe walked out the door.

* * *

"I wonder if she's training for the roller hockey derby too?" Finn wondered aloud. Mr. DeMartino did not answer him. Instead, he stared at Finn as if he had grown a third head.

"Wow, that was really nice of her to make you a dinner." Finn stated. "What a sweet lady. I wish my Mom was like that."

"You...err...got along well with her." Mr. DeMartino stated.

"If there's one thing I do know, it's women. Oh man, that smells like carbonara she made. Wow, high class cook and she's carbo-loading you. She is good. Hope you like mushrooms and egg."

"I...rather like that combination." Mr. D returned. Finn was absolutely stunned at Mr. DeMartino's complete change of personality.

"Mr. DeMartino." Finn couldn't resist the opportunity to taunt. "You seem a little...head over heels. Or is that what happened when you collided into me."

"Perhaps you should learn to steer." Mr. DeMartino returned to his normal snappish tone, and Finn realized he liked this DeMartino better. The other one was so...creepy.

"You should take her out to dinner." Finn didn't play matchmaker, but this wacky pair of faculty members was too funny to ignore. He could just imagine Mr. DeMartino attempting to play it nice. Mr. D was not a nice man, by any stretch. He took the rants of his Dad, and coupled it with Daria's downright nastiness, and it created Finn's own special sort of Hell every third period.

"That is none of your business!" Mr. DeMartino replied.

"You know, Mr. D, I'm pretty good at talking to women, as you well noticed." Finn recalled the earlier tidbit Mr. D had mentioned. He seemed almost impressed with the fact that Finn had engaged Ms. Defoe so pleasantly, and that Ms. Defoe seemed to enjoy talking with Finn.

"I'd be more than happy to give you a few pointers. On, y'know, her jewelry and stuff. Did you notice that bracelet she was wearing?"

"What about it?" Mr. DeMartino asked.

"Well, that was handmade too. I could tell by it's shape. It had a bit of a bulge that was off-center, which would have never happened if it was commercially-made. Keen observation followed by questions, ask her what it was like to make it, then compliment it's skill when she notices how it's off-center so she doesn't feel bad." Finn lectured. Tactics like these were what brought in the big bucks; those foolish girls never saw this trick coming; vanity was a female's most powerful weakness. Girls were so selfish that they only cared about themselves; and buttering them up made them want you more, so they could be buttered up again.

* * *

Mr. DeMartino seemed amazed.

"You know, in exchange for a few more bonus points, I can give you a few more tips." Finn cracked a smile. It was truly amazing sometimes how profit could be found if one just paid attention.

"You know, sonny boy, if you spent half as much effort on your schoolwork as you did your flirting, you wouldn't need extra credit."

"Well, flirting is infinitely more interesting." Finn replied absently.

"I'm serious, son. Haven't you even tried concentrating on your schoolwork. You can certainly concentrate on a football play, or a boxing match."

"Oh, I didn't know you came to those matches." Finn stated.

"Don't change the subject. Son, why on Earth don't you even try at your schoolwork. Your short answers are pathetic."

"Oh great, here it comes. Go ahead, Mr. D, tell me I'm not as smart as Daria." Finn moaned.

"What does Daria have to do with this?" Mr. DeMartino raised his voice.

"What she has to do with everything!" Finn replied. "I'm not Daria!"

"No one said you were!" Mr. DeMartino said. Finn's eyes widened, as if he hadn't even considered that possibility.

"You're not your sister!" Mr. DeMartino replied. "No one would be stupid enough to think that!" The two men stared daggers at each other for a moment. Finally, Mr. DeMartino spoke.

"I think I know what your assignment is going to be."

"What?" Finn asked, almost nervously.

"Have you ever heard of the Gibson Girl?"

"No."

"Have you ever heard of a flapper?" Mr. DeMartino asked.

"That one I've heard of. That was those 1920's girls who were in the speakeasy and had the bobbed hairstyles."

"Good. The Gibson Girl was a standard of beauty before the flapper came to power."

"Okay..." Finn still didn't understand.

"Your assignment is this: Compare and contrast the Gibson Girl to the flapper. How were they similar, how were they different, and what were the changes in the United States that caused the Gibson Girl to evolve into the flapper. Ten pages."

"Ten?"

"You'll need that many, trust me." Mr. DeMartino explained. Finn thought about the assignment for a moment. It didn't make sense to him. But Mr. DeMartino delivered on his promise. Part of Finn wondered if this was just a sick game to Mr. DeMartino, that he would just take advantage of Finn just to beat that DJ Randy guy.

"And son." Mr. DeMartino's voice snapped him back into reality. "You write your name on your tests 'Finn Morgendorffer.' I know you aren't Daria." Finn's eyes widened again.

"Mister D?" Finn started to say.

"What is it?"

"Her hands." Finn stated.

"Huh?"

"Ms. Defoe. She's got amazing hands. She takes really could care of them, I can tell. And she's proud of them, cause she's an artist and she makes stuff with her hands. Compliment her hands."

* * *

Once Finn arrived home, he planned on getting started on the project Mr. DeMartino had given him. He needed to get this done quickly. Boxing was in full swing, and football was still going strong.

But before he could concentrate on that, he found his mind wandering to Mr. DeMartino. In all of the class time, Mr. D was rather heartless. But Finn could no longer believe that. Ms. Defoe arriving proved to him that he was capable of feeling something else other then flying into a psychopathic rage.

"_So why do you feel like crap?" _Finn thought. Everything seemed to be normal. Mr. D had something Finn wanted: points for his grade. And Finn had something Mr. D wanted: being killer on a pair of skates, and impressing Ms. Defoe on their first meeting. So, why wasn't this business transaction like all the others? It was simple math.

"_He likes her." _Finn thought. He'd seen enough guys in the hallway to know when they were in puppy love, and Mr. DeMartino was like them. Some things just weren't grown out of, Finn thought. And Ms. Defoe seemed to like Mr. DeMartino too. Sure, she talked pleasantly with Finn, but she had come to see Mr. D, and didn't ignore him for very long.

"_So that's it, then." _Finn thought. "_That's the reason you feel like crap. She's nice, he gave you a chance, and you thought of business. His emotions were just a weapon. Mr. DeMartino didn't deserve it."_

Finn started on the assignment. Mr. DeMartino said he could do this if he put the same kind of effort into this as he did to flirting. This wasn't as interesting as flirting; Finn wasn't lying. But this was about more then making sure Finn could still play. Mr. DeMartino told Finn he wasn't trying to make him be like Daria. And Finn believed him.

For the first time ever, Finn concentrated on his schoolwork.

* * *

Finn had arrived home from training with Mr. DeMartino around 5:30. He started on the bonus assignment close to 6:00. After seeing what that "Gibson Girl" was, it was actually pretty easy for Finn to see how the two were different. One was high-class, and the other was a complete and total skank.

"_There's no way that'll get me to ten pages." _Finn thought. He sighed for a moment. It would have been very easy to just ignore the damn assignment and go out with the guys, or even throw an impromptu date. It was almost pathetic how some girls could be ready on a moment's notice.

"_And to think, with other guys, they'll sit upstairs and 'get ready' for hours." _Finn thought. He recalled some of the dates Jamie had been on, where he had waited for her to get ready for almost an hour.

But Finn tried to shake off the desire to do something else. At first he tried to rationalize it: he needed the points. But that only lasted for about half of the first page before Finn's mind started to wander again. He was close to stopping his schoolwork and spending time on crunches; he did want to tone up.

"_No, dammit!" _Finn yelled at himself. "_Mr. DeMartino gave you an assignment, so freaking do it!" _Finn sighed. This was getting him nowhere.

"_I don't get it, Mr. D. Why did you say those nice things to me?" _Mr. DeMartino's assessment didn't make much sense to Finn. After all, Mr. D was a teacher, and he hated it when students gave stupid answers. Practically no one in Finn's class did well in Mr. D's class. He doubted many people did well in Mr. D's class for the whole school. Except, of course, Jodie Landon, the over achieving girlfriend of Mack.

"_And Daria." _Finn thought to himself. He had never seen Daria in class before, but he knew that Daria did well in school. Mom always talked about her report cards when they came. Daria always seemed to make her teachers angry when she was younger, causing both parents to come into school to deal with psychiatrists. It caused a number of problems, and Daria, of course, didn't give a lick how much everyone else got upset with her. She was just as sour and nasty as she always was.

* * *

These thoughts were depressing Finn, and it almost made him rip up the page he was writing, but he stopped.

"_Mister D told me I'm not Daria." _Finn thought. Unlike when other people, like his mother, said that he wasn't Daria, there wasn't anything else to the statement. There was no subtext, no disappointment in not joining academic clubs. Mr. D did chastise him for his grades, and said he could do better, but there was no reason for him to do that.

"_I'm not Daria. I'm not." _Finn told himself, a mantra he repeated almost every day. _"And he told me I'm not. A golden opportunity for anyone to say you're not as good as your sister, and he doesn't care. Did a violent revenge fantasy Daria wrote set him off too?" _That was Finn's first initial thought. But a different sort of thought occured to him later.

Mister DeMartino told him he wasn't Daria because he wasn't. It was the simplest explanation. But he wanted Finn to do well on an assignment. At least, if his encouragement was to be believed. Finn couldn't imagine any other reason for the obnoxiously unpleasant teacher to actually say an encouraging word.

If all the logic was true, that meant only one thing: Mr. DeMartino believed that doing well in school did not make someone like Daria.

"_Of course it does, that's all she does is do well in school. And be a bitch." _Finn rationalized it in his head. But, like his earlier rationalization, it wasn't as effective, and Finn concentrated more on his work, getting three pages done, as well as knowing what he would write about in the next part of the assignment.

* * *

"_Okay, so the two major factors for the change from one to the other are World War I and Prohibition." _Finn thought. "_So, why?" _Finn thought. The answer wasn't jumping out at him, and Finn had to wonder what exactly that meant. He looked at the two pictures he had printed out on the two women Mr. DeMartino had mentioned. The Gibson Girl had high, well-coiffed hair and wore a dress, probably with one of those corset things, while the flapper was almost boyish with her short hair and her cut-short, almost masculine dress.

"_And that changed during World War I." _Finn thought. "_Well, with the women doing all of that work for the war with all the men fighting, it wouldn't be easy to move in those dresses. And that hair would get caught in other stuff and make it difficult for anything other then one of those elaborate parties." _

When Finn moved on to Prohibition, he saw how things were different. It was easy to see how she didn't dress like the Gibson Girl. The picture he saw was of a woman with a flat waist, short hair, and small breasts. Nothing like the elegant woman of the first picture. Did the First World War really change all of that?

Finn concentrated on the task all night, only stopping for dinner. The entire night, he was quiet, and no one disturbed him, not even his mother. He finished at eleven o'clock.

* * *

"_I...I can't believe I did that." _Finn thought. He spent the entire night doing his work. Never had he ever done that, not even on a big assignment.

The work wasn't finished by any stretch. Six hours of work only had Finn write seven pages, although he knew where he was going for the last three, or even more than that. Mister DeMartino was not kidding; he would need that many pages.

"_Well, I'm living up to my end of the bargain." _Finn still didn't enjoy spending his entire day working on schoolwork. History was still not a very interesting subject. But Mr. D's strange praise, as well as Finn's own guilt for how he felt about using Ms. Defoe, kept him in his chair.

* * *

The roller derby was in two days, on Thursday. Finn had already bought his ticket and placed his bet, although he decided against trying to convince Kevin to bet more. Jodie might have gotten suspicious if too many people increased their bets. The workouts with Mister DeMartino increased in intensity, and the two spent more time on skates.

Finn did not bring up Ms. Defoe, nor did Mr. D bring up Daria. The two men discussed nothing but hockey technique.

"Go for the five-hole." Finn stated. "If these DJ's are the amateur players we all know they are, it's going to be the gaping hole." Finn set up a goal net and practiced shots with his teacher. He lacked finesse, that was for sure, but hockey was a mean sport; it was meant to be played mean.

"How is the assignment coming?" Mister DeMartino asked once their workout was complete.

"Almost done. Finished the seventh page." Finn replied.

"That quickly?" Mister DeMartino asked.

"Isn't this assignment due the day of the Derby?"

"Day after. Friday's a good day to turn in work."

"Well, I wouldn't be working on Thursday night anyway. I have to come to the game after all. Check on my investment." Mister DeMartino actually laughed a little at that one.

"So, then, you understand just how much World War I affected all aspects of life?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, I understood that rulers changed and empires fell, and a lot of people died, but who would have thought that people would change so much even though they didn't fight."

"World War I changed entire landscapes. The concept of total war was a foreign concept to most Americans."

"You mean with that whole 'splendid little war' thing?"

"You remembered that?" Mister DeMartino seemed surprised. "There isn't much of a splendid little war when you're using mustard gas."

"Never got behind that whole concept. I mean, why gas people who aren't even fighting."

"Aiding and abetting. It ruins a soldier's morale when he can't protect the people of his country."

"Always thought that was cowardly." Finn mentioned.

"War's not pretty. During World War II, the West was first experienced to war with Japan, who had a concept of total war stretching back centuries. It was almost barbaric." Finn didn't say anything. This was his first real intellectually stimulating conversation with anyone that wasn't about football or boxing tactics. Those took skill, but they weren't book skills. People who learned to fight from books smeared the floors with their blood.

"Well, we don't need to discuss that. It'll just distract me from the work I do need to do." Finn replied. The conversation was making him nervous.

* * *

Finn finished his assignment the day after his training, which was good, because now he had time to schedule a Wednesday date before the big came on Thursday. It had been about three weeks since he had dated Tanya Crawford, and she sent him some really sparring equipment. He supposed she could get further then a coffee date.

When the day of the big game arrived, all of Finn's friends were stoked. They had all placed their bets, even though Finn thought it cruel that they were betting against Mister DeMartino. The students assumed that it would be the safest bet, and Finn could only laugh. They knew he was training, but everyone had no idea Mister DeMartino had trained with a master.

When the roller hockey game started, Mister D hit the roll rolling. When he started, Finn wished he had spent more time on working against Mister DeMartino; the DJ's were easily able to swipe the puck from him, one of them even managed to trip the teacher and injure his knee. A Goth student seemed to cheer at the incident; perhaps it was her minute in the betting pool, but Mr. DeMartino got back up almost immediately. Aggressively, the teacher got back on his feet, and the game resumed.

Mister DeMartino started getting more aggressive after the knee injury, and he skated a lot harder. Finn actually became worried that he might overexert himself and actually get a heart attack, but the teacher skated quickly and snatched the puck from DJ Randy, and fired an expert shot from nearly half the court away. He aimed for the five-hole, just like Finn said, and scored.

Mister D took the victory shot with great cheer, and rose his stick in triumph as he laughed at the audience with glee. Some of the students actually cheered back for him. Finn smiled a knowing smile.

Mister D kept pace for the entire game. Although it didn't matter to the betters who won the game or not, Barch and DeMartino made a killer pair on the field, and managed to assist each other with many shots made.

"_Ha." _Finn chuckled. He wondered why Barch would be happy to help DeMartino, but the DJ team were all males, and she would probably revel in their weakness just as much as a male teacher's. The DJ's fought hard, but in the end, a killer shot made by Barch clinched the game for the teachers. DeMartino was ecstatic, most of the students seemed disappointed. But not one student, Finn chuckled to himself, realizing everything today went exactly as he had planned it.

* * *

Mister DeMartino had asked Finn to stop by after school ended on Friday to drop off the bonus assignment, and Finn agreed, knowing that he would have to stop by anyway in order to give DeMartino his cut from the money he made.

"Seven hundred, as promised." Finn handed DeMartino the envelope. "And here's the assignment." Finn handed DeMartino twelve neatly-typed, stapled did not look at the envelope or papers first. Instead, he stared straight at Finn. DeMartino's face was not contorted in rage like it usually was, and neither was it smiling like he was when Ms. Defoe had arrived at the gym. Instead, Mister D's face seemed...rather content. As if he, just like Finn, was satisfied in how things worked out.

"Are you going out to celebrate with Ms. Defoe?" Finn asked.

"I shouldn't really be discussing that with a student." Mr. DeMartino replied.

"Fair enough. Just take my advice and buy a new jacket. Get yourself something really nice from Cashman's. After all, you've got seven hundred that you weren't planning on using. And don't smoke until after your date. Nothing turns a chick off liking kissing an ashtray."

"I'll remember that." Mister DeMartino took the envelope and put it safely away in his drawer. He then moved on to the assignment.

"Twelve pages, I see." He counted the pages. "And single spaced."

"I hate wasting paper." Finn replied. "You know, for the trees." Finn's sarcasm did not amuse DeMartino much, but the man did not deliver a comment like he normally did. Instead, he skimmed the pages. Finn started to leave; he had to get ready for boxing, after all.

"I hope you put your name on the paper." DeMartino called. Finn almost bit out a retort and missed the subtext the teacher had so obviously implanted. Instead, though, he smiled.

"Of course I did. After all, wouldn't want you to think it was someone else's work." Finn replied, before heading out of the room. The fact that DeMartino could be so different in class and out of class was almost confusing to Finn. He never got why people just weren't themselves all the time.

But Finn knew what he would no longer consider "himself." He wouldn't make stupid comments during class about truancy or statewide requirements or that other crap. At least, not in front of DeMartino. Not out of a sense of payment or pity, or even out of thanks for telling Finn how he wasn't Daria.

DeMartino came to school everyday to teach students like Kevin Thompson and Brittany Taylor. Even Finn knew that he was smarter then those two. And yet, the teacher hadn't gone on a homicidal rampage. And for what? The hunger to enlighten? The desire to better another human being? Whatever the answer was, DeMartino took a lot of personal hell to actually try and better someone else's life. It was like the football team collective spirit personified in a single individual. And he even gave Finn a chance, even when Finn could only think of manipulating him for his own ends.

How could he not respect that?


	8. Family Ties

"_This is painful." _Finn thought as he sat waiting in front of the dressing room at Cashman's. Much of the man's free time was spent here; Finn had a lot of outfits that needed to be coordinated, and he wouldn't be caught dead wearing something that clashed with his skin tone or hairstyle. And, on a teacher inservice day where Finn had the entire day free to do as he pleased, Cashman's would probably be one of his stops.

Rarely, if ever, was Finn in the section for women's wear, and when he was, it was almost always because he was passing between the menswear department and the shoe department. But Finn sat, with an absolutely bored look on his face, as he waited in front of the dressing room for the woman inside to come out.

"_Why the hell did I get suckered into this?" _Finn thought. He knew the answer to it, of course, but that didn't make it any less believable.

"What do you think?" The woman's voice called from the dressing room. The door opened a second later, and out stepped Helen Morgendorffer, wearing a pink business dress.

"_It looks like Jackie O." _Finn thought. "_Of course, Jackie O was glamorous. You've got a long way to go." _Finn thought. His mother often threw out the idea of mother-son bonding day, and it usually ended up with a trip to Cashman's to select a new business dress or pantsuit.

Finn understood her motivations for having him as a shopping partner; Daria had absolutely no fashion sense whatsoever, and his father would simply tell his mother she looks great in everything. Finn could give his mother honest commentary.

But he didn't enjoy it at all. His mother only picked out business clothes for wearing to court, or to the office, or places like that. She "bonded" with her son only so she could be ready to shove him aside the second that boss of hers, Eric Schrecter, called.

"It's poised and put together." Finn replied dryly. "A much more up-to-date version of Jackie Onassis. But your earrings are too big for that dress, try some thin dangle earrings." Finn wasn't about to lie to his mother just to get her to finish shopping, but there was a lot he'd rather be doing.

Helen did not pick up on his annoyance. Perhaps the need for a new dress was tantamount, or perhaps she just didn't care. While Helen Morgendorffer had tried to talk to Finn more then she used to ever since they moved to Lawndale, she was still the same workaholic she always was. After Finn had his bout with anorexia, Helen did show a conscious effort on the weekend Finn had been released from the hospital, but, come Monday, she was back to the office, and had missed dinner a few times this week.

There was no need for parental concern; Finn wasn't about to start not eating again. But if it had been Daria who wasn't eating, Helen would be calling and coming home early and all that concerned mother crap. She'd come in, just like she always would whenever Daria had problems in school and acted out. And it was only for Daria that she would do that.

Conversation was empty when Helen and Finn got lunch. Helen asked him about school, and Finn answered. Finn asked his mother about her office, even though he really had no interest in it. The law firm of Vitale, Ridorian, Schrecter, Schrecter, and Schrecter was foreign to Finn, and he had no desire to know of it's inner workings, but he would ask his mother about it. That is what good children did, after all.

* * *

After lunch, Finn wondered how much more of this empty hell he could take. These mother-son bonding days happened maybe once a month, barring some sort of massive case at Helen's firm, and Finn couldn't wait for high school to end so he wouldn't have to do them anymore. Why did this woman try to get involved like this? Finn knew that Helen was not interested in him very much. She had her moments, of course. Even a broken clock told the correct time twice a day, Finn recalled something Mack had mentioned when Kevin talked about a test question he had answered correctly. Kevin, of course, interpreted that as his watch being broken.

But Helen was not a brain-dead lunk like Kevin. Why couldn't she understand how things worked? One day's rush of boring attempts at bonding did not make up for the fact that she spent all of her time at work. Even at home, Eric would often call with whatever nonsense popped into his head. Finn remembered once when he picked up the phone, expecting it to be Stacy, only for Eric to babble incoherently at him, talking about 'getting in on the hazardous toy legal market,' whatever that meant.

"_So caught up in that legal world, he didn't even hear that it was a guy who answered the phone." _Finn chuckled. How could his mother work for someone so clingy and depressive. He would almost be like Stacy, but lawyers were scum-sucking ambulance chasers. They were evil.

"_What don't you get, Mom?" _Finn thought. "_That day, when you came to my room and asked me about the modeling contract, and what I thought about it, and then you gave me advice; that was what I wanted. Why can't you be that kind of mom?" _

But fortunately, Helen had no other activities planned, and she wanted to get the new dress she bought hung up and safely put away. Finn didn't blame her; he'd do the same thing. However, he hoped to find something at home that would put a damper on this whole mother-son day. Perhaps some sort of horrible sickness.

* * *

Jake Morgendorffer was laying on the couch when the two got back.

"Hi honey! Hey, sport!" Jake eagerly greeted the two.

"Hello, dear." Helen stated. "We're back from the mall."

"How'd it go?"

"She's got a garment bag." Finn laughed. Jake laughed a little too.

"I'll go put this away." Helen climbed the stairs.

"Dad, are you all ready for tomorrow?" Finn asked.

"Of course, son." Jake smiled a large smile, and Finn was happy too. This mother-son hell day was over, but father-son bonding day was going to happen tomorrow.

Finn had been planning this special father-son day for a few weeks now. Everything seemed to come together so perfectly, it almost seemed like destiny. The inservice day was apparently for some teaching conference, and as such,. Finn had no games planned, due to the fact that his coaches were all teachers at the school as well. Daria was going off with that friend of hers and her brother to a rock concert some distance away. Alternative bands were so stupid, just a bunch of whiny guys trying to hide the fact that they were such losers. And the chicks at these venues were worse, with the piercings and the drugs. How anyone got into that crap was beyond him. Jake had been working a long week writing marketing campaigns for a small jewelry store. It was bitter, tough work, particularly because Finn knew his father didn't know much about jewelry. He needed a day to unwind and relax, and Finn was only too happy to help him.

"I've even planned a surprise. Something we haven't done in a long time." Finn laughed.

"That sounds great!" Jake cheered. Finn knew that his father would be happy doing pretty much anything together, but Finn always made sure they did things he knew his father would like, or, at the very least, things his father would need to do.

Jake started talking to Finn about the catchy jingles he had written for the jewelry store, and the two men went into the kitchen to discuss it over sodas.

"_Why can't I have two parents this interesting?" _Finn thought to himself.

* * *

Hanging up the new dress she bought only took all of two seconds. After it was done, Helen stood at the top of the stairs and listened to Jake and Finn laugh with each other downstairs. The two men were so loud they could probably be heard from outside, so Helen knew exactly what they were saying.

Helen tried her best to bond with Finn, which wasn't easy considering how much their interests diverged. Finn was never cruel, but he was certainly cold, during the times Helen planned out for him.

She sighed. It was hard enough working long hours and not being as close as she would have liked to. As much as she enjoyed work, she enjoyed her children too, and there just wasn't enough time for everything.

"_Some lie we fed ourselves in the 70's. That have it all mantra never seemed to remember there were only 24 hours in the day, and we still need to sleep." _Helen thought. Ever since the incident with the modeling contract, Helen began to realize just how wide the chasm was between her son and herself. And recently, Helen had been beating herself up silently ever since she discovered Finn had been struggling with anorexia.

It was truly a heart-wrenching thing, to get that call stating Finn was hospitalized for it. She had been working extra hard that week on a case to impress the senior partners in her firm, and she had thought Finn was fine, although, in retrospect, she knew how little she saw of him during that time, and knew that she would never have caught such a thing.

"_And the time we do spend together is like pulling teeth." _Helen thought. Finn had never out and out told her, but she knew that her son was bored every time it was just the two of them. It wasn't even the lack of common ground; Finn seemed to have an extraordinary dislike of spending time with her.

Helen still remembered how much it hurt her when she overheard Finn say he thought his mother didn't love him. He looked so sad when Helen saw his reflection in the mirror, it was like the entire world was sad with him. So why was it whenever she did try to spend time with him, Finn acted like he'd rather have a root canal.

Finn definitely appreciated it when Helen spoke to him about the modeling contract, and that first step was extremely important to Helen. However, it presented it's own sort of problem: Finn only spoke to her when he had a problem that was eating away at his soul, and that was something Helen didn't want. Finn would have problems his whole life; Helen certainly wouldn't force any more upon him.

The damage between Helen and Finn had been done. Helen had thought her son was a cruel womanizer; Finn thought his mother didn't love him. Helen wanted to change that, but it didn't seem like Finn was interested in that.

She wanted what Jake had with Finn. He might not have worked as long as Helen did, but he did work long hours, particularly when he had new clients. So it made sense that Jake could show up to Finn's boxing matches more often than Helen could. But during a father-son bonding day, the two men would be happy with each other. Helen didn't know exactly what they did together, although it usually was sports or sports-related. Finn would be full of smiles, full of laughter, clearly wanting nothing more then what was in front of him.

"_How does it happen?" _Helen thought. Mother-child bonding days never seemed to work out, either for Daria or for Finn. But father-son bonding day was this magical thing between Jake and Finn that always de-stressed Jake and made him come home with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step, and put Finn in a lovely mood.

But Helen knew she had a case to finish up with tomorrow. It may have been a Saturday, but companies never slept. And with Jake and Finn off on some fantastic adventure together, and Daria going with her friend Jane to some rock concert, Alternapalooza, or something like that, there wasn't anything to do more than work.

"_Have it all." _She laughed at herself, remembering the woman she used to be in the 70's, bucking the patriarchy, challenging the notion that a woman was meant nothing more for marriage, babies, and housework. The struggles they fought for weren't fully realized, and probably, they never would be, with all the over-zealous people who claimed to have the same beliefs, but then took things too far, and the backlash against them that eroded progress.

"_Have it all." _Helen repeated. "_I guess I do have a lot. But I guess that's another thing we forgot in the 70's. Being strong and independent all the time made me forget how much I liked being loved,. It's not easy to love someone who has to be tough all the time,." _

Helen went back to her room, trying to think about the case, but couldn't keep a nagging question out of her head. Finn had told the mirror he didn't think Helen loved him. Finn still went with her on mother-son bonding days, and still asked her questions about her boss and work, even though Helen knew those were topics that didn't interest Finn in the slightest.

Finn thought he was unloved by his mother, and Helen didn't want to consider the reverse question at all, but she couldn't help but piece the words together in her head.

"_Does Finn love me?' _Helen wondered.

* * *

It was early the next morning when Helen received a call from Eric. At 5 a.m. she had been dressed in her new business dress and was prepared to stop by the office quickly before going over to the courthouse, but before then, there was a call from her cellular.

"Hello!" Helen answered. It would probably be Eric, giving her some new information about the case, and, sure enough, Eric was on the other end of the phone.

"Helen, I've got great news!" Eric sounded extremely happy on the other line.

"What is it?" Helen asked.

"They settled. The bastards settled!" Eric sounded joyous, and he probably had already had a few victory drinks. Or several.

"That's great news. They finally understood we meant business." Helen laughed.

"We're going to get started on that soda case next Monday, so make sure you're ready!" Eric cheered.

"I'll be waiting for it!" Helen cheered happily for her boss as she hung up the phone. Once it was quiet, however, Helen started to puzzle what exactly she was going to do now. Jake and Finn were going to be out all day, and Daria would be headed to that rock concert. There would be nothing for her to do.

A nice quiet day would have been relaxing, surely, but Helen always felt antsy on those kinds of days. If she wasn't getting something done, she felt like she was wasting valuable time, and there was so much she wanted to have done.

"_Those two wouldn't have me along on their male bonding day, that's for sure." _Helen thought. Those days were sacred to Jake and Finn, and no one interrupted them, least of all a woman. Finn was a scatter-brained boy and often double-booked his dates, but never once did he ever make the mistake of booking something on a day like this.

"_How do you do it, Jake?" _Helen mentally asked her husband, who was snoring peacefully upstairs. "_Finn worships the ground you walk on; you're everything to him. Is it just because the two of you have so much in common?" _Helen wondered. It was true that Jake and Finn had a lot in common, but it couldn't be that simple, could it?

Helen had no idea how she'd answer that question. Finn would never answer it, and Jake wouldn't be sure of how to do so. It was one of life's little mysteries, that was for sure.

Helen pounded her fist into her hand.

"_What the hell is that defeatist attitude?" _She chastised herself. "_So you don't know the answer. Figure it out! You were given a brain for a reason." _Helen chuckled. There would be no way she could answer the question directly, but her ignorance on the topic came from the fact that she had no idea what the hell they did on these bonding days.

"_Why didn't you ask Jake that question?" _Helen thought to herself. But she knew the answer to that: She didn't think it mattered because they were doing something the two of them enjoyed.

"_So let's see what it is. Follow them, Helen." _Helen reasoned. Both of those men could be ridiculously oblivious at times; they'd never notice. And Helen wouldn't need to hear what they were talking about, she just needed to see how the two of them reacted to each other.

It was almost ridiculously simple, although Helen knew she would have to take care and plan things properly. Last thing she needed was for Finn to catch her spying. Jake would probably be upset, and Finn would push her away more then ever.

* * *

The two men left the house around 10. When they had asked Helen about the fact that she wasn't in the office, she told them the truth about the settlement. There would have been no purpose to lying to either of them about it.

"Well, isn't that great, honey. Take a nice long bath and unwind. You've earned it!" Jake praised. Finn didn't say a word.

"Where are you boys headed?" Helen asked.

"You know Dad and I planned the day together." Finn replied. "Come on, Dad, I've been waiting too long for this day." He grabbed his dad by the arm and started to drag him.

"G'bye honey." Jake stated as the two men exited to the garage, where Jake's Lexus was parked. There was the sound of some rustling, and then the car started. Helen watched from the front window as Jake and Finn pulled out. As soon as they left, Helen went into the garage to see if she could get any hints as to their location, and quickly discovered that Jake's golf clubs were missing.

They wouldn't be playing a round of golf; Helen would have gotten a credit card receipt if they had booked that. More then likely, they were headed to the driving range to hit a basket of balls.

"_Then that is my first stop." _Helen reasoned. She quickly got into her car. She had passed that driving range on her way to work a few times when they were doing road construction that blocked up the freeway, and, sure enough, she saw Jake's car in the parking lot once she arrived.

Helen pulled into the parking lot and backed into the space, on the off chance Jake or Finn would see the plates to her car. Then, she climbed into the back seat and just watched the two men for a bit.

* * *

Helen knew that Jake loved golf. He always looked at new clubs whenever he went to the sporting goods store, he knew about hook, and all the different club names. But, as much as Jake liked the sport, Finn despised it; Finn liked high-impact, collision sports, and golf, according to him, was a sissy sport. Back in Highland, Finn had gotten banned from a country club's course when he, somehow, had gotten a golf cart and driven it into a water hazard. It didn't bother him in the least.

But Finn had never told Jake how much he hated golf. He pretended to like it and, although he never joined his father in playing eighteen holes, he often went to the driving range with him.

"_How do you do it, Jake?" _Helen wondered. She couldn't even get Finn to do things he liked with her. But here, Jake managed to get Finn to do things he hated.

Helen cracked the windows, but she was too far away to make out any words between the men. Finn hit his balls rather quickly, while Jake took things slower. Jake went over to Finn's booth and started giving him pointers on the sport. Finn's shooting didn't get any better, but Finn still looked happy as the two men picked up their clubs and the empty basket and went over back to their car. Helen quickly got back into the driver's seat, and waited for the blue Lexus to pull back onto the road. Helen tailed them expertly, making sure not to get too close to them.

"_You learn some crazy things when you study law." _Helen thought. She had once tailed a client suspected of faking an injury to get a hefty workman's compensation, and she was able to do it successfully. She tailed the two men to a batting cage.

"_So far, none of this seems new." _Helen thought. She had already known Finn and Jake went to the batting cages many times.

* * *

This time, though, Helen decided she was going to get closer to the pair. She knew that she would be adequately disguised: she had changed out of her business dress before she left, and she'd be wearing a helmet in the cages. They wouldn't be able to tell it was her.

Helen paid the man at the counter, quickly put on a helmet, and selected a bat. Finn could handle that highest difficulty of batting cage, hitting balls at nearly major league speeds. But Jake himself wasn't as skilled, so the two men settled for the cage that shot change-ups. Helen went to the easiest cage. Her attention would already be divided anyway, and she wasn't that good at baseball.

"Doin' great, son!" Jake was all cheers and smiles as he eagerly cheerleaded for his son. That again, was nothing foreign to Jake Morgendorffer. At every game Jake went to, ever since Finn was in Peewee Football, Jake always had flags, giant foam fingers, and played the part of overzealous fan to a T.

"_At least he didn't get into body paint." _Helen thought as she swung at the balls. She missed most of them, instead concentrating on Jake and Finn. The two has switched places and now Finn was cheering on his father.

"You got this, Dad!" Finn cheered as Jake kept swinging. "Picture your dad's face on the ball!" Helen heard her son say.

"_Was that it?" _Helen wondered. "_They're so close because of Jake's father?" _Mad Dog Morgendorffer, if Jake was to be believed, was a cruel, neglectful, and possibly physically abusive parent, and Jake would often wake up covered in sweat, screaming, after having a nightmare about him. Even around the children, Jake would often denigrate into rants and raves about him; his drinking or being shipped off to military school or something. Helen had often tried to soothe her husband during his tirades about his father, but they annoyed her to no end. His father was dead; he couldn't hurt Jake in any fashion any more.

But Finn had Jake channel his rage against him through violence. Perhaps it was remnants of Helen's hippie past, but she didn't really care for such barbarism. But it worked on Jake. Although the night terrors and waking up in cold sweats had continued, Jake ranted about his father a lot less the more time he spent with Finn. It was an outlet for all those years of pent-up rage.

"_As enlightening as this is." _Helen thought. "_This doesn't answer the question. It might be the reason why Jake enjoys spending time with Finn, but why does Finn enjoy spending time with Jake?" _

Helen reasoned that it could have merely been Finn wanted to help his father with that problem. He was probably just as bothered by it as she was. But that wasn't the whole story, she reasoned. Finn didn't have the patience to constantly help his father through that, not without some boundless love and a desire to help his dad no matter how many times he failed.

Helen went back to her car before the boys were finished. Soon, they piled back into Jake's Lexus and were on the road again.

* * *

The two men's third stop was at a place Helen also knew Finn frequented; the boxing ring. Like some of the sports at Lawndale High, like the ice hockey team, the school didn't have the equipment on the premises for some of their sports. According to Finn, the building was owned by the coach of the team, who had been running the boxing team for almost thirty years now.

What was Finn doing here? There were no matches scheduled for today, and, since it was owned by the coach, it wasn't like there was other gym equipment here.

"What are we doing here?" Jake asked.

"Coach Stevenson gave me a key." Finn explained. "He said I could come whenever I wanted, and no one else is here. This is the surprise I mentioned. How long has it been since we've sparred against each other?"

"It's...been a while." Jake mentioned. True enough, Finn thought. Jake had taught Finn to box a long time ago, when he was 6, but Finn soon sought other teacher's to improve his skill. At his father's approval, of course.

Unlike other sports like football, boxing was something Jake had encouraged Finn to take, rather than let Finn try it himself. At first, Finn didn't know the reason why, but he took it anyway. He didn't need a reason once he discovered his own competence at the sport. But even after that, Jake had always encouraged him differently than any other sport.

Finn didn't understand why; his dad never did boxing or any other martial arts when he was younger, aside from what he learned in military school.

The two men went inside the door, and Helen wondered if there would be a place she could observe them in secret. She knew that this was the boxing ring, and, presumably, father and son were going to have a friendly sparring match. Boxing was something Jake always encouraged Finn to do. As soon as Finn was born, Jake reasoned he would teach the boy to be able to fight, and Helen knew the reason stemmed from his father. Jake was a very meek soul, and the years of suffering at the hands of his father had turned him into a neurotic wreck, scared to discipline Finn, or Daria, for that matter, because he was scared that, somehow, he would make the children feel inadequate.

Jake had never been able to stand up to his father. His father dominated his mind. And Jake was going to make sure Finn never suffered what he went through. That, Helen reasoned, was the reason why Jake taught Finn to fight, and why he was so happy when Finn knocked out his opponents in the ring. Because Finn wasn't letting someone walk over him; someone wasn't hurting him.

Helen went towards the door and found it unlocked. She peaked it open a crack and listened to the conversation between the men.

"I hope I've gotten better." She heard Finn say.

"Of course you have, son."

"I don't think I've ever beaten you, Dad." Finn replied.

"Well, you were a lot smaller." Jake replied.

"Here I come." Finn's voice was actually very calm. Unlike his father, who was prone to lapse into fits of rage, Finn had a deadly, precise, almost calculating calm. It was one of the few things Finn and Helen shared, the ability to be calm no matter how ugly a situation turned out.

Helen listened to the two men brawl for a minute more. Finn said no more words; Jake encouraged, but the sounds she mostly heard was the scuffle. Soon the sound stopped.

"How'd I do?" Finn asked.

"Wonderful." Jake returned. "I'm so proud, son. You've got some great dukes."

"Heh." Finn laughed. "I owe it all to you, Dad."

"I'm glad you learned so well." Jake replied. Helen decided to leave now before she was discovered.

* * *

As she drove home, Helen puzzled over the events of the day. Things didn't seem that unusual to her at first: Jake and Finn were just having a little fun on the rare day both of them were free. But there had to be more to it then that, Helen reasoned. After all, he abhorred doing the exact same thing with his mother.

"_Is it because I'm the disciplinarian? Someone has to be." _Helen reasoned. Truly, Helen wished sometimes she could be as laid-back as Jake was with parenting, but if she did, Daria and Finn would not have the lessons they would need to survive in the world. They needed to understand rules and boundaries, as well as have a decent set of ethics.

Finn had ethics, but never showed them. He cared for his dad, he cared for Rita, and it looked like he was starting to care for whoever this Stacy girl was that occupied his mind. But Finn had no idea what to do with her. He floundered like someone who was drowning, and just felt worse and worse as he did nothing.

"_You're too young to be so introverted." _Helen thought. "_It's much like Jake," _Jake relived loss after loss in his mind to his father. He only recalled the times he had been hurt by his father, or abandoned. He couldn't let the dead man's ghost rest. Was Finn reliving the same things in his mind, recalling all of things Daria said to him during their sibling fights. Recalling all of the times Helen did the disciplining?

"_No wonder he's so close to Jake and Rita. They never wrapped his knuckles." _Helen thought.

All of the cards were laid out in front of Helen. She knew that Finn thought he was unloved by her, she knew that Finn loved his father immensely. She knew that Finn loved to spend time with Jake, and not her. At first glance, it seemed to Helen merely their lack of common interests, but that couldn't have been it. Finn would do anything for Jake, even something he hated. Looking back on it, Finn seemed the more eager of the two to have a father-son bonding day.

"_Yes." _Helen thought. Even back when she was scheduling physicals, Finn was the one who offered to play hooky. Finn was the one who asked his father to play catch. It was always Finn who drove the interactions between the two. Although Jake was more then happy to spend time with Finn no matter what it was, Finn was the driving force in their relationship. He was clinging to his father.

"_Why?" _Helen thought. "_Finn can get Jake to do anything he wants. There's no reason for him to do things he hates just to please him." _

"_Because he loves his dad." _Helen thought glumly. Was this whole day just reinforcing what she already knew? That Finn loved his father more then her? Did he even love her at all?

* * *

When Helen got back home, she took a long bath, trying to relax. Jake and Finn returned home in the late afternoon. Finn didn't stay very long, and bounding out the door as soon as he got his keys. Jake however, went up to the bedroom.

"Hello, foxy lady!" Jake said seductively, looking at Helen in the bath.

"Well, hello, handsome. How was your day?"

"It was great. Finn and I had a grand old time. But now it's just you and me, and the kids are gone for several hours." Jake started pulling off his clothes.

"We should save the bathtub moments for when we go to the hotels and the tubs are as big as the Ritz. You'll just end up with an impression from the faucet on your backside." Helen chuckled.

"You are such a wonder with Finn, Jake. How do you do it?" Helen got out of the tub and rubbed herself close to her husband. He smiled and struck a manly pose.

"Just trying to be a good dad. Now it's time to be a good husband." Jake pulled off his boxers. Helen wanted to speak more about it, but there was no time now. Jake was hard enough to talk to when he wasn't aroused. When he was, it was damn near impossible.

* * *

Two hours later, Helen and Jake were lying in bed. She had heard the front door open, and a pair of clunky boots clambered up the stairs. Daria was home.

"Jake?" Helen asked.

"Hmm..." Jake's eyes were shut, but he acknowledged his wife. Helen wanted to ask him about Finn. There had to be something she missed today, some switch she could just flip and Finn would realize that she did care about him.

But how could she ask that of Jake, who got what he wanted from Finn without even trying.

Then Helen wondered, if, perhaps, their relationship worked in reverse. Finn may have been the aggressive, driving force in the relationship with his father, but that didn't necessarily mean he only gave to his father. Helen recalled how Finn looked at the batting cages and the driving range, and realized where she had seen such an eagerness before. She saw it in herself, when she visited her father. Clyde Barksdale, Helen's father, had been a chronic smoker, started when he was a teenager, and smoked for nearly fifty years, before he finally succumbed to lung cancer. It had happened around 10 years ago, and Helen tried her best to make time to spend with her father before the end.

That was where she had seen it before. The eagerness, the self-sacrificing desires. Finn loved his father deeply, but, just there was something else that lie just beyond the surface, and Helen wondered if even Jake was aware of it.

"_You're scared you're going to lose him somehow, aren't you?" _Helen wondered to herself. Why would Finn ever get the idea that his father would ever leave him?

Helen did know, but it kept her lying in bed for a long time.


	9. Legends and Losers

"Hey, Finn, did you hear, dude, did you hear?" Kevin was speaking in excited tones as he, Finn, and Mack all walked down the hallway.

"Hear what?" Finn asked. With Kevin, one would never know just what popped into his head.

"The man, dude. The man is coming." Kevin could barely contain his enthusiasm.

"Mack, are we about to be invaded by 60's era business tycoons?" Finn asked.

"No, Tommy Sherman is coming into town. You didn't hear about that?" Mack replied.

"I've heard that name before. He's the quarterback when Lawndale won state a few years back, right?" Finn asked.

"That's right, dude!" Kevin cheered. "He's coming back, the man is coming back to Lawndale!"

"Too much hero worship isn't always healthy, Kevin." Mack lectured. Finn agreed. Tommy Sherman was, by all accounts, an incredible quarterback. The fact that he won the state championship was incredible. However, heroes didn't win your games for you; you won them yourself.

"Aren't they giving him a new goalpost or something?" Finn asked. He had heard they were replacing one of the goalposts on the field with a collapsible one, in case anyone ever ran into it. For the life of him, Finn couldn't figure out just how stupid someone could be to run straight into a goalpost, but he supposed that, during the hustle and confusion of evading a tackle, worse things had happened. People did go out of bounds, after all.

"Yeah. Jodie's giving a speech about it." Mack explained. Hardly a surprise, Jodie did everything.

"Hey, Mack Daddy, you think she might need any words of advice, from, you know, a QB's point of view. I'm sure Tommy Sherman would love it."

"I'll ask her." Mack replied sarcastically.

"Give her a sack of potatoes before you do." Finn posed, knowing Mack's sarcasm with the topic. "Get her to mash `em up. Productive rage." Mack laughed a little at that one.

"We having mashed potatoes at lunch today?" Kevin asked. Both Finn and Mack winced.

* * *

Kevin split off from the group to see Brittany, and Mack and Finn were soon joined by Jodie.

"Hey." Finn smiled. Jodie returned it.

"How's the speech coming?" Mack asked politely. Jodie frowned at Mack's asking. Did she not want to give the speech? If so, why even do it?

"It's coming along fine." Jodie replied tersely.

"What'd I say?" Mack asked. Jodie huffed and walked away. Finn resisted the urge to say anything about Jodie's behavior; Mack was a great guy, but a comment like that would just make him upset.

* * *

Finn kept his eyes open for Tommy Sherman, but didn't see him when he was going to Barch's class. After the class was over, Finn started to walk down the hallway, only to run smack straight into Brittany Taylor.

"Oof!" Both fell to the ground.

"Watch it!" Brittany stated angrily. Finn was amazed. Brittany looked seven degrees of pissed.

"Sorry, Britt." Finn helped her to her feet.

"Oh, Finn." Brittany seemed to calm down a little bit, but she still seemed angry.

"Hey, you alright?" Finn asked. He resisted the urge to ask if Kevin had admitted to an affair of some kind.

"No!" Brittany said angrily. "That guy...he's such a jerk!"

"Who is?" Finn asked, but Brittany didn't answer him. Instead she angrily stormed down the hall.

"_Whoa, better watch out for that hurricane. Good luck with her tonight, Kevin." _Finn laughed to himself.

"_What would have caused that? Brittany knows most of the guys here already. I mean, how many has she slept with or at least groped their marbles. She doesn't get turned off by something that simple. I mean, I think. Oh well, it makes no difference to me." _Finn continued down the hallway towards the lunch room.

* * *

On his way there, Finn saw someone he had never seen before. A very tall, buff man, probably in his early 20's. He was talking to Ashley Beaker, a girl who was one of Finn's present-giving sycophants. Finn couldn't hear what they were saying, but the man appeared to be very pleased with himself, while Ashley looked a bit repulsed.

"_Someone coming on to her? Well, she doesn't look happy. Won't get in the way of my profit." _Finn chuckled to himself. He had to walk past them to get to the cafeteria. As he got closer, he could hear what the two of them were talking.

"I'm sure there's a closet somewhere no one is using." The man replied. "Why don't we finagle our way in, and you can worship Tommy Sherman with your mouth."

"_What!" _Finn looked about as horrified as Ashley was. She slapped him and walked away in a huff.

"_Is that what horrified Brittany so much." _Finn wondered.

"Cocktease!" The man called after her. He could only be one person: Tommy Sherman himself. He was old enough, and he'd be the only person, aside from Kevin, to have such a high opinion of himself that he'd name his johnson after himself. Finn shuddered at the thought of Kevin doing something like that, but quickly turned his attention back to Tommy Sherman.

"You're Tommy Sherman, aren't you?" Finn had seen this guy for all of five seconds, and already he wanted to punch him. What the hell was this guy's problem, coming up to girls like that.

"That's my name. You in the fan club or something, little boy?" Tommy was no less polite to Finn than he was to Ashley, although, thankfully, he wasn't asking Finn to get on his knees.

"No. I'm Finn Morgendorffer. I'm the center for the Lions."

"The center? A wimp like you? What, for like, intramurals or something? Or are you just the football dummy?"

"No, I'm the varsity center." Finn was ready to clock this asshole, but he knew he'd get into trouble with Ms. Li for hitting a guest, no matter how much of an asshole he was.

"_Did you meet him before, Jodie? Is that the reason why you don't want to give the speech? If so, I take it back. I don't have anything to say about this guy fit for a public audience either." _

"You, on varsity? Wow, the cheerleaders got better, the players got suckier. No wonder this team couldn't carry state after Tommy Sherman left."

"I'm sure it was all you." Finn huffed, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Of course it was. Who do you think ran in all the touchdowns?"

"If that's indicative of how many times you've broken your nose, then congratulations. It's great to see how many strike-outs you've had with the ladies. I don't see anyone in the closet with you."

"Maybe I should let you watch, loser. After all, it's the only thing a loser like you can do. Watch the winners."

"Some winner. Can't even get a single girl." Finn returned.

"Please. You should have seen them line up the week we took state. Every girl in the school, lining up, asking for more of Tommy Sherman's magic mojo."

"That was three years ago. So, what, you've been blue balled since high school? Good work, hot shot." Finn didn't like this sexual discussion. He was, after all, still a virgin, and wasn't about to go all the way anytime soon. He still recalled Stacy touching him when Finn had his shirt off, and the cold feeling still remained.

"You know what, punk. Tommy Sherman's sick of listening to all this loser talk. You talk a big game, but here you are, walking alone to your next class. While Tommy Sherman can remember all the ladies who loved him and wanted to be loved by him, you're just leftovers, can't play, can't score, can't do anything, because you're such a loser!" Tommy Sherman walked off angrily, and Finn seethed in anger for a moment.

* * *

"_That little douche-bag calls me a loser!" _Finn growled. He wanted to hit something, anything. Perhaps, if the asshole had spoken to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, the guys would need to arrange an all-out four-way brawl after school.

"_This is completely absurd. How do you manage to think you're somehow great." _Finn cursed Tommy Sherman.

"_I hope you get what you deserve." _Finn thought. He started to head towards the lunch room.

* * *

As soon as lunch ended, Finn walked down the hall towards the gymnasium. He sincerely hoped that the gym teacher, wouldn't be bringing that asshole into class to talk to the students. He entered the men's locker room and started to change, but, just as he was getting started, he heard a loud wooden "snap" from the direction of the football field.

"_Did that new goal post fall?" _Finn wondered. Did they even set that up yet? Maybe that asshole was testing out the new toy, and seeing if it actually worked. And there'd probably be a crowd of football players and other fans, cheering him on as he did it.

But, soon after the crash, he heard the sound of people rushing down the hallway towards the field.

"_Huh? The post is already shattered. There's a little late, aren't they?" _Finn wondered. He stopped changing and headed out into the hallway. There was a large throng of people clustered, trying to get out of the door towards the field.

Finn noticed Jeffy in the crowd. He grabbed his buddy's arm to get his attention.

"What just happened?" Finn asked. Something had to have gone down if this many people were clustered around. This wasn't some victory celebration for Tommy Sherman shattering the goal post. At least, Finn hoped it wasn't.

"I don't know. I just followed everyone else. Hey, there's Joey and Jamie!" Jeffy called. Finn's other two buddies were rushing up.

"You know what happened?" Jeffy asked. Both Joey and Jamie shook their heads.

"I know, let's go out through the locker room." Finn thought quickly. The other guys agreed, and the four went through the locker room and outside. From there, it was a short walk to the field.

There was a cluster of people around the bleachers, as well as an ambulance and a police car. Ms. Li appeared to be on the field, along with Mrs. Morris, Coach Gibson, and a few other teachers. Everyone looked to be a combination of sad and stressed out as paramedics were working around a large wooden crate.

"Everyone, clear the area!" The police officer shouted into a megaphone, trying to get the students to disperse. Although everyone moved away a distance, no one went back into the school

"What do you think happened?" Jamie speculated. They weren't about to get close enough to see the details.

"Look at that." Jeffy pointed to the ground near the wooden crate. It was hard to make out with all of the people rushing back and forth, but Finn saw a lot of red.

"Blood!" Finn was aghast.

"Someone must have been under that crate and it fell." Joey pointed out.

"Aw, man, that's awful. That thing must have been heavy." Jamie noted. Finn agreed, it was doubtful anyone could survive being crushed under there.

"_So, who was it?" _Finn wondered. One of the janitors or maintenance crew who were preparing to set it up. How exactly did that thing fall anyway.

"_Heh, I wonder if Tommy Sherman will talk about this tragedy, or just try to get into Jodie's pants when they talk about the speech. Times like this, I wish Barch was a student. Wouldn't that make for some amusing fireworks." _Finn tried to laugh.

"_Oh, God, am I making jokes about the dead guy? That's pretty weak." _Finn criticized himself.

"Hey, hey coach!" Joey called as Coach Gibson started to run past the guys towards the school.

"What are you guys doing out here. Get back to class, it's not pretty out here." The Coach explained.

"What happened. Is someone hurt?" Finn asked. The Coach sighed, and place a hand on his chest.

"It's horrible. So tragic. That poor man."

"Who?"

"Tommy Sherman." The Coach replied. "He was out here reading the plaque they were going to put on the new goalpost, and the crate fell on top of him. He's...he's gone boys. Tommy Sherman is dead."

* * *

All four guys stood on the field for an extended moment, clearly lost in their own thoughts. Finn's brow furrowed when he received the news from Coach Gibson.

"_So...he died." _Finn thought. He wasn't exactly sure how to feel about that. He didn't feel grieved at the man's passing, or even a sense of poetic justice as Finn recalled the first, and only, conversation he had with the man. Virility-related insults were all the two men traded.

"We should get back inside." Finn told his buddies. Jeffy stood motionless, watching the police and ambulance crew move around the dead man's body.

"We shouldn't look." Finn told them. "We'll get sick."

"That's not funny." Joey did not look pleased.

"I'm not trying to be." Finn returned. "We should just go back in the school. The police and paramedics are here. They can do this stuff a lot better than us."

"Yeah, I guess so." Jamie agreed softly.

"Sorry, dude." Joey apologized. "Guess I was just angry."

"Eh." Finn shrugged. He grabbed Jeffy's arm and the four men slowly started to move their way back into the school.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, there was an assembly called in Tommy Sherman's honor, but Finn barely played attention to it. He wondered if he should find a quiet place to skip out, but reasoned that would be tasteless.

Jodie wasn't giving a speech during the assembly. Instead, Ms. Li was the only one talking. She started talking about the tragedy, and how one should use events like this to spread joy and light to others, like Tommy Sherman did.

"_Lady, did we meet the same man?" _Finn thought. Tommy Sherman spread a lot of things, but joy and light were not it. He spread insults, put-downs, and probably herpes to girls stupid enough to get close. Although, if Brittany was able to see through him, perhaps that last one wasn't as bad as Finn thought.

Although Finn found himself disinterested in Ms. Li's speech, it was Kevin whom the center could not take his eyes off of. The quarterback sat in the front row, along with Brittany, and the man was visibly distraught, sobbing in the front row uncontrollably. Finn was too far away from Kevin to do anything for him, but the sight of him made Finn think. Finn had seen Kevin without his shoulder pads on, and the quarterback was less buff than Finn himself. If Tommy Sherman had known that Kevin had committed the sacrilege of taking his position, he would have cut him down worse than he cut down Finn.

And yet, Kevin, blissfully unaware of Tommy Sherman's complete contempt of the team, wept for his fallen hero like a grieving widow.

"_Or did you meet him?" _Finn wondered. Kevin would certainly be oblivious enough to ignore his hero's insults of him. Perhaps, Finn wondered, that wasn't a completely bad thing.

* * *

After the assembly, Finn had his study hall. It was unsurprising that many of the discussions during the time were somber, about Tommy Sherman. Most of them must not have met the guy either; Finn had no idea when, exactly, that guy came to school.

Finn was frustrated and angry, and the entire school felt more like a cage then usual. All of these people were talking about the hero, or martyr, Tommy Sherman, and the guy wasn't praiseworthy at all.

Finn noticed Ashley Beaker out of the corner of his eye, and was eager to sit with someone that he knew was not a fan of the fallen quarterback.

"Hey, Ashley, do you mind if I join you?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"Sure, Finn." Ashley smiled eagerly, as she always did. Finn had not exchanged many words with Ashley; the girl herself just wasn't that pretty or popular. Decent, but not overly great. She was little more than a gift-giver, but she made some killer homemade sweets.

"Hey, I saw you earlier, talking with Tommy Sherman. Just before lunch." Finn wanted to hear this girl say something about how much of a jerk the football star was.

"_Show me some sanity." _Finn ordered her. "_And I'll give you a great date." _

"Yeah." Ashley seemed bummed. That wasn't a good sign.

"You're down." Finn noted. He really didn't want to hear about her problems, but maybe she'd tell him what she wanted with a little prodding.

"Well, it's just..." Ashley clammed up. "I wonder if I could have saved him."

"Saved him?" Finn asked.

"Well, he...uhh..." Ashley wasn't about to speak.

"I did see you too, in the hall, you know." Finn replied. Ashley's eyes widened.

"Oh." Ashley replied. "So you saw me slap him."

"Yeah." Finn replied. He was about to tell her it was okay, since he heard the other part of the conversation leading up to the slap. But instead, Ashley started crying.

"Hey..." Finn stated, but Ashley blubbered, ignoring him.

"Why did I hit someone and then he died! I'm horrible!" The girl wailed. She was starting to make a scene, and Finn decided it was best that he leave. She wasn't going to give him what he wanted anyway, and, if Tori showed up, this would be another Brooke Cameron saga.

* * *

There was supposed to be a practice after school today, and Finn wondered if it would be cancelled. He hoped not. This whole day was making him think some extremely unpleasant thoughts, and he wanted them out of his head. He wanted to have an intense practice in the rain; to feel nothing but cold and pain, and then pass out from exhaustion into a sleep with no dreams. Then maybe, he could wake up and just ignore Tommy Sherman and the misery he left in his wake.

But there was a sign on the men's locker room door from Coach Gibson, instructing the team to just go into the auditorium and not change for practice. Finn entered to see a number of the guys already there. He saw his buddies, clustered around Kevin, who sat on the bottom bleacher. He was still bawling, although he was calmer than he was during the assembly.

Coach Gibson was nowhere in sight at first, but the man soon came out a few minutes later. He walked over towards the guys, and everyone took a seat on the bleachers.

"Lions, I know you were expecting a practice today, but, in case you haven't heard, we had a guest today: Tommy Sherman, who was varsity quarterback a few years back when Lawndale took state." Coach Gibson was usually as proud as Ms. Li when he mentioned the state trophy, but now he was somber in his speech from start to finish.

"We were dedicating a new goalpost in his honor, but unfortunately, as he was outside looking at it, it fell on top of him. I'm afraid he didn't make it." The Coach finished. As if on cue, Kevin broke out in bawling again.

"I know that we're all used to getting hurt on the field, some of us have even been hospitalized for injuries, all things we do willingly for the good of our team. But this is a truly tragic incident, and I us all to take this time as a team and, if there is anything anyone wants to say about Tommy Sherman, my door's open." Kevin continued to wail during Coach Gibson's speech, and Finn's buddies patted him on the back and told him words of encouragement, softly, so as not to disturb the coach.

"This incident was a tragedy." Mad Mack spoke up from the bleachers. "We don't wish this horrible sort of thing on anyone, and to watch it happen is awful. I just hope everyone here is inspired to be more careful in the future, and that we take strides to be better people, on and off the field. I don't want to scare anyone or be morbid, but accidents like that happen at any time, and we want people to only think good things about us when we're gone."

"_Best speech I've heard all day." _Finn thought to himself, and he smiled for the first time since hearing about Tommy Sherman. Perhaps because it was the only speech he heard that wasn't really a sycophantic kiss up to the colossal asshole.

"Are we gonna have practice, Coach?" Finn asked. Coach Gibson took a deep breath.

"No, not today, Finn. I just wanted us all to assemble here so we could talk about this tragedy. Does anyone hear have anything they'd like to say?" The Coach opened the floor. No one said anything, but Finn looked around. Everyone was solemn, looking down at the wood grains on the floor. No smiles, no nothing.

"Okay, team dismissed. I want you all to take the day and think about things. I'll be here a while longer if you all need me."

For a second, Finn thought he should go talk to Coach Gibson. The Coach had been here for a long time, and probably would have coached Tommy Sherman. He would knock what a colossal jerk he was.

But at the same time he thought of it, Finn decided against it. Coach Gibson was a great coach, but football was the primary concern on his mind. He thought nothing of the fights Joey picked as long as he made it to every practice. He wouldn't care about Tommy Sherman's bad attitude.

* * *

So Finn decided to follow orders and head home. However, before he could make it there, he saw Brittany, talking with someone in the parking lot. She seemed to have regained her bounciness, and talked energetically to a man seated in his car.

Finn didn't want to interrupt her, so he waited until the man drove off.

"Oh, hi, Finn!" Brittany cheered.

"You're in a good mood. Find out about a killer party?" Finn asked.

"No, I just feel a lot better." Brittany stated.

"That's kinda vague. Can you be more specific?" Finn asked. Finally, someone who wasn't lackluster and morose.

"I just talked to Daria a few minutes ago, and she told me something good!" Brittany replied.

"_Now the world's gone completely insane." _Finn thought.

"Daria said something good?" Finn replied.

"Yeah. I mean, I was feeling really bad about Tommy Sherman. I thought I wasn't feeling bad enough because he was such a jerk to me, but then Daria said since I'm worried I'm not feeling bad enough I'm actually very good." It took Finn a second to piece through Brittany's words. It still sounded weird to him that Daria would encourage anyone.

"_Then again, when I was in the hospital..." _Finn thought.

"Ummm...Brittany. You said Tommy Sherman was a jerk, right?" Finn asked. Brittany twirled her hair with her finger, clearly unsure of what Finn meant.

"So you know he wasn't a nice person, right?" Finn asked.

"Well, yeah, but I mean, just because he wasn't a nice person doesn't mean I shouldn't feel bad. I mean, I didn't want him to be squished like that." Brittany replied.

"_All the fancy speeches in the world do nothing, and the dumbest chick in Lawndale actually says the smartest thing of the day. Way to go, Brittany." _Finn thought.

"I gotta go, okay. Bye, Finn!" Brittany cheerful went towards the school, probably to find Kevin.

As she left, however, a different thought flooded Finn's mind. Everyone today was talking about the tragedy of Tommy Sherman, how awful it was, how they wouldn't wish it on anyone. All nice things about this total jackass.

Finn felt his blood run cold. He was the only one. He was the person who couldn't say something kind about this guy. Even though Brittany acknowledged the man was a jerk, she was able to say that she had absolutely no desire to see him dead.

Finn didn't, either. He didn't wish for his death; he just wished that he'd disappear, or that everyone would see what a jerk he was. This was a guy who said nothing nice to anyone, no matter who they were.

"_Is there a difference?" _Finn wondered. "_A difference between the man's death and the man's disappearance? Did you want him to be miserable?" _Finn started chastising himself in his head, fiercer than he had ever done before.

"_Loser!" _Tommy Sherman's voice echoed the last word he had said to Finn in the center's mind.

"_I am not!" _Finn thought to himself. "_I'm not like him. I say good things to people, I get dates. I am not that horrible man!" _Finn's rationalization calmed him down a bit. But Tommy Sherman's insult still echoed in his mind.

* * *

Finn didn't feel any better when he got home. The house was dead quiet. His parents were, of course, still at the office, and Daria must have been out. She didn't make much noise even when she was here It was one of the more tolerable things about her.

Finn went straight up into his room. Although he planned on working out, he couldn't even muster the effort to change into his gym shorts. He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His mind was racing too fast to take a nap, and he couldn't concentrate on anything to accomplish.

Tommy Sherman's insults were still ringing in Finn's head. He didn't understand why they were. Finn didn't listen to people he didn't respect, and there was no way in hell Finn would ever have respected Tommy Sherman. The guy was a slew of nasty words, and Finn would have liked nothing more then to beat him senseless.

"_But little good that would do me know." _Finn thought. "_He's dead. That's it." _The accident was a little depressing, but Finn found himself more depressed by the fact that, even though he died, he couldn't bring himself to say a good thing about the guy. And Finn knew good things about the guy already: he was a talented football player, after all.

But Mack, and Coach Gibson, and all of them, they weren't thinking of condemning the jerk.

"_Am...am I that bad a person?" _Finn stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. It was a ritual he performed at least three times a day, more if he had a date or other excuse to be presentable. And the mirror, just like before showed it's reflection. Finn's hair was a little in disarray because he had been laying on the bed, but he still looked as handsome as ever.

Except for his mouth. Finn couldn't smile. No one would expect smiles after an accident, but even now, in private, where Finn didn't have to pretend to like Tommy Sherman, Finn found himself on the verge of tears. Nothing was giving him joy, and he was unable to do anything except hear Tommy Sherman's insults echo in his head.

"_I'm not a loser." _Finn thought. "_Tommy Sherman was the loser. Sure, he could play, but that was all he could do. Probably just talked a big game on his conquests like we all do in the locker room. Some hero." _Finn's insults of the dead man just made him feel worse, and he couldn't even look in the mirror anymore.

"_That never happened." _Finn lay back down on the bed, and stifled his tears again. No matter what he did, he couldn't praise the late quarterback, and the fact that he couldn't do so was making him feel worse.

"_Am I...am I as bad as he is? Is that me in five years, trying to drag underage girls into the broom closet for a quick screw? No, no! That can't be me! I never do things like that. I have taste, I have style. I never ask for such crap!" _Finn protested in his head, but the thoughts weren't going away, no matter how much he tried.

Finn thought to call Joey and see if they could spar together in the boxing ring. When they fought each other, both of them were vicious, beating each other near-unconscious. Finn had to work hard and keep his head level in order to beat a fighter with as much tenacity as Joey. There wouldn't be time to think of Tommy Sherman.

Finn sighed. He loved boxing, and fighting. While Finn did not discount the importance of words and diplomacy, nothing was as pure as speaking with his fist. There were no lies or deceptions, no manipulations or tricks. Just two fists and the justice of the man who wielded them.

But Joey wasn't picking up the phone. Although both Jeffy and Jamie loved a good brawl; and they were decent enough fighters, they would never agree to such a brawl. They didn't have the passion for fighting that Joey did.

* * *

Finn heard footsteps going down the hallway, and he realized that Daria was home. He remembered what Brittany had said; that Daria made her feel better. Finn couldn't imagine why: Daria would never take the time to say something nice to Brittany. Brittany, to Daria, was a complete and total idiot. Not that she was wrong, but it was still as harsh and cruel as Daria was.

"_But Daria is honest, and you feel like hell already. She couldn't make you feel worse." _Finn thought. He went to her room and opened the door. She was laying on her bed reading.

"Daria?" Finn asked.

"I'm not chipping in for new boxing gloves. They don't cause lasting damage when I hit you with them." She replied sarcastically. Finn ignored her.

"Daria, I wanted to ask you something. About Tommy Sherman." Finn stated. Daria huffed a little.

"I don't know what to tell you about that, Finn. I only met him once."

"But you did?"

"Yeah, just before the accident happened." Daria replied.

"So, then, you knew how much of an asshole he was?" Finn asked.

"You don't need glasses." Daria replied. It didn't surprise Finn that Daria wouldn't condemn him for calling the quarterback out. If she had indeed spoken to him, her opinion of him was probably just as low, if not lower, than Finn's, although Finn didn't know how the hell that would be possible.

"The only words out of his mouth to me was that I was an insult to the Lions and he insulted my...prowess." Finn elaborated.

"To say nothing of his." Daria replied.

"He tried to pick you up?"

"Not me, but I saw him in the halls."

"Brittany turned him down." Finn stated.

"Sometimes those two brains cells of her actually collide." Daria replied. Finn let the insult slide; Brittany was very stupid.

"I probably saw worse. He asked Ashley Beaker to come with him and find an empty closet, and I can't even finish the rest."

"You didn't come in here just to insult Tommy Sherman, did you?" Daria replied. "I already knew all of this stuff."

"But no one else seems to notice. We had a football meeting, and Coach Gibson acts like he lost a son."

"Don't coaches get attached to their star players?" Daria asked.

"Coaches aren't supposed to play favorites, they encourage their players individually and as a whole to make the team the best it can be. Anyway, I talked to Ashley and she was wondering if she did...that, that maybe she could have saved him or something."

"It's a tragedy, people always think that, especially when they speak to someone just before it happens."

"Are you thinking that?" Finn asked.

"No." Daria replied. "Tommy Sherman insulted me, I insulted him, then he left to look at his goal post. I couldn't have done it any differently."

"Well, anyway, err...It's really just bumming me out how everyone just says all these great things, and the man himself is nothing like the legend. I mean, did you see Kevin at the assembly."

"I heard him."

"Good enough."

"Finn, I'm sure other people have noticed that Tommy Sherman was a jerk. They just weren't talking about it."

"But why not? I'm just worried something is seriously wrong with me or something because I can't feel bad about it. I don't think I wanted him to get all crushed under the goal post, but I had already planned on how to skip out of the goalpost dedication ceremony."

"You can't feel bad about it, although you want to." Daria restated.

"Yeah."

"So, what do you feel bad about?" Daria asked. Finn couldn't answer, as he wasn't honestly sure of it himself.

"I...well...I feel bad because all my buddies are sad, and that makes me sad. I don't like feeling sad."

"Feeling sad is natural, otherwise, being happy would have no meaning." Daria returned. "At least you're the happy guy."

"Huh?"

"Ever since Tommy Sherman's accident, everyone's been coming to me looking for advice. All I hear all the time is 'I knew I could talk to you, Daria, because you're the misery chick.'"

"Misery chick?" Finn asked. "You're not a misery chick." Now it was Daria's turn to look at her sibling in shock.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"Misery chicks just say mean things about everyone because they think everyone else is to blame for their problems. They don't get dates and think the problem is with the men. Other girls are funny, and they're just superficial rejects. Tommy Sherman was a misery chick. Or dude." Finn quickly caught his error. Daria actually smiled, although Finn didn't think it was due to his word-switching.

"Who called you a misery chick, anyway?" Finn asked.

"Tommy Sherman."

"You listened to him?"

"It's hard not to when everyone else thinks you're miserable."

"Daria, when have you ever cared what other people think?" Finn asked.

"It's just wrong, that's all. I'm not miserable."

"I know." Finn replied. Daria looked at him strangely.

"Tommy Sherman called me a loser." Finn noted after a moment of silence.

"Why?"

"Because we aren't taking state, because I called him out for not getting any." Finn answered.

"If that didn't matter to you, why do you still remember it? You'd just forget if you didn't care."

"Because...I do care." Finn replied sadly. "I can't get it out of my head. I feel like such a loser because that guy died and I can't feel bad about it. I'm the misery dude. And I'm worried I'm going to end up like Tommy Sherman. I don't want to be that jerk!" Finn felt like he was about to cry again.

"So don't." Daria replied rather simply. "You know what he was like, so don't do it."

"But how do I change not feeling bad about something?"

"You do feel bad." Daria replied. "I feel bad too. We just aren't going to kid around and say he was a nice guy when he wasn't. So ask yourself why you feel bad, and then go from there." The two siblings were quiet for the longest time.

"I feel a lot better." Finn replied.

"Of course you do. Lawndale's misery chick helps another customer."

"You're not the misery chick. I already said that. Misery chicks wouldn't make someone like Brittany feel better." Finn replied. Daria didn't say anything else, but she seemed to take in Finn's repetition slowly.

"You're not a loser." Daria returned.

"Okay then." Finn replied.

"I'm going to Jane's." Daria stood up, and Finn left her room and returned to his own. After he got back, the phone started to ring. Joey was on the other line.

"Hey."

"Yo, dude. How ya doing?" Joey asked.

"Better." Finn replied.

"Hey, I was thinking, why don't we all hit up Pizza Palace. Some guy I know told me when, you know, people die, it's good to be around people you like."

"Sounds good. I'll meet you guys there." Finn hung up the phone. He thought for a second, then quickly dialed Stacy's number. Sandi answered the phone; there must have been a Fashion Club meeting. Finn invited them all, and Sandi eagerly agreed.

* * *

At Pizza Palace, the group of freshmen all sat around the table. At first, Jamie mentioned Tommy Sherman, but Finn effectively managed to silence him by stating they should only discuss pleasant topics. Jeffy agreed, and moved into a rousing talk about an embarrassing thing that happened during Mr. O'Neill's class. The jokes lightened the mood, and Stacy joined in to discuss other events that happened over the weekend.

It wasn't easy to keep the conversation going. The guys and the Fashion Club had diverging interests, and Finn often had to steer the conversation.

"Well, think it's time to go." Joey noted once the guys's extra cheese and the girls's cheese-less was gone.

"Yes." Stacy started to reach into her purse.

"I'll just...I'll just take care of the bill." Finn replied. Everyone look in surprise at him. Finn never paid the bill all by himself. Girls always bought him food when they went on dates, and when Finn went out with the guys, everyone just went Dutch.

"Two pizzas, seven sodas, that's only thirty-five. I can handle it. I won all that money from the roller hockey bet, after all." Finn noted. He had given most of that money to DeMartino, but that lie would stop them from thinking he was having some sort of illness. The guys shrugged and replied they didn't mind if he did that. The girls didn't seem to care either. As Finn started getting the trash together, he realized he wasn't hearing Tommy Sherman's condemning remarks anymore.

He hoped it wasn't just because he bought everyone pizza; that would have gotten expensive after a while. But he did feel better, between Daria and hanging with his buddies.

"_Is that why I felt bad? Because my buddies were all sad? No, I don't think that's the whole reason. But at least these guys are happy. I feel better about that, at least." _

Finn threw all his garbage away and started to walk home.

"_Tommy Sherman, the legend himself. Yeah, maybe he did have a lot going for him. But he ruined all of that. I'm not like him. He was the legend, he called me a loser. And now look where we are now." _


	10. Finn the Brain

Finn yawned silently to himself as Mr. O'Neill started handing back the essays the class was required to write about poetry.

"_Here it comes." _Finn thought. Mr. O'Neill did the same thing as he handed back his essays. He told his students that if they felt strongly about their grades, they should express themselves.

"A few of you have shown significant improvement. Well done, Jeffy." Mr. O'Neill passed by Finn and his buddies, handing back a few pages. They didn't appear to be in any order, and Mr. O'Neill was often consulting his seating chart to find out where everyone sat. Finn nearly fell asleep as the process took nearly ten minutes.

"So, guys, I'm thinking after the game on Friday, we hit the arcade than the batting cages." Jeffy offered.

"I'm liking it." Joey replied.

"Why not?" Finn agreed. Ever since the death of Tommy Sherman, the guys had been spending more time together doing things. They got over the gloominess of the tragedy quickly. People weren't condemning him as the jerk he was, but at least they weren't mindlessly praising him, and that was good enough for Finn.

"Finn, did you have something you wanted to ask?" Mr. O'Neill perked up. Finn cursed silently. Talking to someone else was the only way to make Mr. O'Neill's class bearable, that or sleep, as long as Mr. O'Neill wasn't the focus of Mr. O'Neill's class.

"Errr..." Finn thought quickly. "I didn't get my essay back." He blurted out the first English class-related topic that popped into his head. True enough, Mr. O'Neill had not yet handed back Finn's essay.

Finn didn't even know why the man bothered. The only person Finn knew who was remotely close to failing Language Arts was Kevin. And that was because Kevin was completely and irrevocably stupid. Everyone else passed, and passing was all that mattered to everyone that mattered: Coach Gibson, Aunt Rita, Dad, his buddies. Only Helen Morgendorffer talked about grades as letters. And Finn's grades would never be enough. C's were not B's, B's were not A's, and A's weren't with extra credit.

"_I can see why Mom doesn't like Mr. O'Neill that much. They're both so alike. They're both completely pointless with grades." _Finn thought.

"Oh, of course, Finn. I didn't give you your essay back." Mr. O'Neill replied. Finn sighed. Was this going to be another "stay-after-class" lecture, where Mr. O'Neill told him he needed to do better in class? It was nothing a little talk with Coach Gibson about his English grade couldn't fix.

Finn had no trouble asking Mr. DeMartino for extra credit when he needed it on a history assignment, but Finn was not about to give Mr. O'Neill that sort of respect. He was just too pathetic, with his whiny sappiness, and his talk of feelings, but, in truth, he didn't care about anyone, or if he did, he didn't care enough to help people with their problems. Mr. O'Neill still messed up his friends' names most of the time, and often called Jamie other names when he didn't have his seating chart handy.

"Can I have it back?" Finn rolled his eyes.

"In a minute. Class, I have an exciting announcement to make!" Mr. O'Neill clasped his hands in an enthusiastic delight. His eyes sparkled with glee, and Finn wondered if perhaps the man had perhaps had one too many hippie drugs.

"When I assigned you that essay on the styles of writing poetry, I knew I'd get work that reflected the teen within. Whether it be the happy-go-lucky cheerleader or the quiet, sensitive person. But never was I so impressed by the essay that Finn Morgendorffer wrote for us!"

"Excuse me?" Finn cocked an eyebrow.

"I'm going to share his absolutely fantastic essay with the rest of the class!" Mr. O'Neill cleared his throat and started to read the last remaining essay.

* * *

"To assign one to write a poem? Blasphemy!" Mr. O'Neill excitedly read the final lines of them poem. "How dare you rein in the power of creation, or put a fence around an idea. To create a poem is to give life without the squishy parts, but even then, any animal can squeeze out offspring. To birth a poem is to flirt with the immortal hand of the divine." Mr. O'Neill finished reading.

"Just. Incredible. Truly fantastic. I almost feel foolish for assigning poetry writing." Mr. O'Neill looked at Finn with reverence.

Were Finn in his normal state of mind, he probably would have encouraged O'Neill to do so. After all, less assignments to do were less assignments to do. Instead, Finn just started feeling sicker and sicker to his stomach as Mr. O'Neill read his essay to the entire class.

"Does anyone have anything to share regarding Finn's marvelous essay?" Mr. O'Neill asked.

"I gotta go hurl." Finn moaned. Without even being asked, he excused himself from the class.

* * *

Finn spent an extra long time in the bathroom. His stomach cramps stopped shortly after leaving Mr. O'Neill's class. After washing his face, he returned to the class with just enough time to snatch his essay from the teacher and pack his bags before leaving class.

Finn wanted to move quickly through the halls so that he wouldn't be talking to anyone. But before he could get very far, his buddies called out to him.

"Yo, Finn!" Joey called. Finn wasn't about to pretend he couldn't hear his friends.

"Yeah?"

"What was with that essay, dude?" Jamie asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, that was pretty lame, wasn't it?" Finn tried to deflect it. Too be a brain and to be a football player at Lawndale were mutually exclusive, which didn't bother Finn in the slightest.

"That was...pretty cool!" Jeffy stated.

"No, it wasn't, it was just a lame assignment." Finn countered harshly, the first time he had ever taken his petulant tone with his friends.

"Huh?" Jeffy seemed surprised at Finn's reactions.

"Just forget about it. Mr. O'Neill was just being sickeningly nice, like always. We've got more important things to do than that." In their group of four, Finn would never be thought of as the crude one. Although none of the four were refined gentlemen, Finn was, by far, the most impeccable of them. But now, with the angry thrust of his shoulders as he walked, and the angry glare in his eyes, one wondered if there was a beast dressed in the latest fashion trends walking down the halls of Lawndale.

* * *

Home was no haven from this grade for Finn. He had absolutely no desire to tell anyone of how he had performed today, but apparently, Mr. O'Neill had called his mother, probably giving her the same sappy speech Finn skipped out on in school.

"I knew you could do it, Finn." Helen was surprisingly complimentary about the assignment as the family ate dinner. She didn't tell him to do better like she normally did, but, at least as far as grading went, there wasn't anything to improve upon.

"Where is this essay, sport?" Jake asked.

"I left it in my locker." Finn lied.

"Oh, and I was hoping to read it." Helen noted. "Well, I'm sure you can bring it tomorrow."

"Daria, don't you have anything to say to your brother?" Helen asked.

"How much did it cost?" Daria asked.

"Daria!" Helen replied.

"Fifteen, but I threw in an order of fries since they finished it in two days." Finn, much to Daria's surprise, joined in on her joke.

"Finn, you aren't serious!" Helen was aghast.

"No, Mom, I didn't cheat." Finn replied, almost grudgingly.

"So he says." Daria replied. "You know where the hidden cameras are, Mom."

"Daria, we should be encouraging this." Helen replied. "Finn, it should be clear to you know that you are capable of getting incredible marks, and you didn't even miss a practice. Don't you see, Finn, you can do both. They're not exclusive to each other."

"Sure." Finn was annoyed more than ever. "Whatev. Everyone's making such a big freaking deal over a stupid essay."

"Finn, you should take pride in these accomplishments. After all, what's the difference between getting an A and intercepting a pass to run a touchdown?" Helen asked. "They're both incredible achievements."

Finn stood up from the table.

"There's a huge difference!" Finn growled as he went upstairs to his room. The family ate their dinner in quiet, everyone present thinking about Finn's extremely odd behavior. Jake wondered if his son was just being modest, as he tended to be. Helen was confused as to Finn's abjectly hostile reaction to getting a good grade. Even Daria found herself perplexed by what had happened today. How, exactly, did Finn manage to succeed at writing an essay?

* * *

After dinner ended, Daria retreated to her room, but it wasn't long before there was a knock at the door and in stepped Finn.

"Come to revel in your victory?" Daria replied, not in a sense of cruelty but in a sense of coldness. However Finn managed to get this good grade, it probably wasn't due to his own merits. She had read Finn's work before, and, while it wasn't as bad as, for example, Kevin Thompson's, it was not high quality by any stretch of the imagination.

"Daria...about this whole essay thing. You don't think I'm a brain or anything, do you?" Finn asked. He fidgeted with nervousness.

"Of course not." Daria replied apathetically. "The key word there is brain." Daria returned to her book.

"Good." Finn smiled, and Daria now found herself looking at him strangely. Did he just let her get away with insulting him? True, Finn cared less if Daria insulted his academic prowess than if she insulted something he cared about, like his boxing skills, but Finn never let Daria one-up him if he could help it. Dumb as Finn was, he would have been able to counter an insult like that.

"I mean, come on. This whole thing just got way out of hand. Seriously, what the hell is up with O'Neill anyway."

"He's off his meds." Daria's voice was still apathetic.

"He's like, an affront to education, giving an A to someone who didn't earn it."

"Preach on, Father Finn." Daria teased him, still enjoying the idea of freely insulting her brother.

"Here, Daria, read it for yourself." Finn handed her a piece of paper, which, presumably, was the offending essay. Sure enough, there was a large smiley face and an "A" in Mr. O'Neill's handwriting written in red pen on the top.

"Go ahead, tell me it's the stupidest thing you've ever read." Finn offered. "Tell me O'Neill was high as a kite when he did his grading." Daria laughed as she put down her book. The life of Lenin could wait while there were living people to insult.

* * *

Daria slowly read the essay. It was only one page long, so reading it thoroughly still took five minutes.

"Pathetic, isn't it?" Finn asked. But Daria didn't answer him. She sat on her bed, staring at him motionless, as if time had stopped.

The silence was broken with a doorbell.

"Daria, Jane's here!" Helen called from downstairs, and Daria could hear her friend's footsteps ascending the stairs. The door opened, and both Morgendorffer siblings regarded the intruder.

"Yo." Jane smiled. Finn took his cue and left the room.

"Hey." Daria replied once Jane had shut the door.

"What was that all about? Were you and your brother making eye babies?" Jane teased. Daria shot her a glare.

"Yikes." Jane replied half-heartedly. "There a problem?"

"Other than that essay everyone talks about Finn writing?" Daria asked.

"Oh yeah, I think I did here something like that. So, who did he steal it from?"

"I don't think he stole it. I read it, and it does sound like something he'd write." Daria replied,

"Okay, so who did he paraphrase?" Jane returned.

"Finn was in here because he wanted me to read the essay and tell him what I thought. I didn't tell him yet, then you got here." Daria conveniently left out the silence between the two siblings, which lasted long enough for Daria to give an honest opinion.

"And what might that honest opinion be? Don't quit your day job? What is his day job anyway?" Jane teased with a chuckle, but she stopped when she realized she was the only one chuckling.

"What's the problem?" Jane asked.

"It...it was good. It was really good."

* * *

"He actually wrote a good essay?" Jane asked. Daria did not reply to her. Eagerly, Jane snatched it out of her hands. She pored it over silently.

"Well, with my last grade on my English essay, I don't feel qualified to talk about good and bad." Jane replied. "But I could understand what he wrote."

"Of course you can. He follows the journalistic code and writes like an 8th grader." Daria returned.

"Daria, why does this bother you so much, that Finn got a good grade. I mean, he won't have grades like you unless he does that all the time, and even then there's that whole cumulative crap." Jane laughed light-heartedly.

Daria didn't say anything for an extended moment.

"Well, at least Finn will get to experience life as a brain. He hates the idea of that so much, I couldn't make things more awkward for him if I tried." Daria tried to crack a smile. She did enjoy it when her brother felt awkward. If Finn had cheated on this essay, Daria would have condemned him. If Mr. O'Neill took it easy on him, Daria wouldn't have cared. But this was something else.

"_You get to be a brain now, Finn." _Daria thought. "_What do I get to be?"_

_

* * *

_

Finn tried to avoid everyone's gaze on him as he walked down the hall. If he had won the big game against Oakwood, he would have been happy for the attention, but now, he knew what people were discussing. Word got around in Lawndale quickly, and everyone knew he had written an outstanding essay.

"Yo, Finn!" Joey's voice called while Finn was putting books away in his locker.

"What is it, guys!" Finn asked pleasantly.

"You're famous!" Joey eagerly said.

"If this is about my date last Tuesday, it was far too unbearable. Sneaking out the bathroom window was the only alternative!" Finn stated. All of the guys looked at him strangely.

"Oh. Crap. What am I famous for?"

"Your essay, dude! It's in the _Lawndale Lowdown, _in the _Smart Thoughts _column." Jamie cheered.

"You've got to be kidding!" Finn was aghast. "The school paper?"

"Isn't that awesome, dude?" Jeffy stated.

"No it's not awesome!" Finn replied just as angrily as he did in the previous day.

"Dude, what's your damage?" Joey crossed his arms across his chest.

"You don't need to be so humble. That essay was better than I did." Jeffy replied.

"That's not the point!" Finn growled.

"Look dude, we don't think you're like, a geek or anything. You still show up to practice and you play like a bad-ass. It's like Mad Mack." Jamie encouraged. But Finn wasn't even listening to them.

"No, no. No, no, no!" Finn repeated, banging his fists against the lockers. "I'm not like that, I'm not!" Finn ranted out loud, not caring who heard him. His friends looked in concern.

"It's not me, it's not me!" Finn's voice drew softer, as if he didn't want anyone to hear him.

"I'm not like that, daddy. Don't leave, I won't be like that." Finn ran off before anyone could hear him.

* * *

Jeffy stood in the hall puzzling Finn's strange reaction. No one was insulting him or telling him off, in fact, he and his buddies were actually quite happy to see that. Finn was an amazing guy, and he made things look so effortless. Seeing Finn get a good grade didn't make him a geek, it made him inspiring. It made class seem a bit easier.

"_So what was that?" _Jeffy wondered.

"What the hell?" Joey wondered.

"That was just like yesterday." Jamie agreed. "Is he okay or something?"

"I doubt it. We should beat some sense into him later for acting like such a jerk." Joey replied. Jeffy laughed.

"Hey, did you guys hear what he said?" Jeffy asked.

"He said no a bunch of times." Jamie answered.

"After that."

"It's not me?"

"The quiet part." Jeffy returned.

"I heard I won't be like that." Joey stated. "That's an unusual thing to say."

"Yeah, I did hear something else." Jamie returned. Jeffy looked at Jamie, and he knew that his buddy had heard the same thing.

"He said daddy, didn't he?" Jeffy hushed his voice so he wouldn't let something like that spread.

"We've met Mister Morgendorffer before." Joey answered. "He's a pretty cool guy. And he doesn't call his father daddy."

"But that was weird." Jamie acknowledged. "Maybe we should stop by Finn's after school and get to the bottom of this."

* * *

After school was over, Daria sought refuge at Jane's house. The entire day had been very strange for her. School didn't even seem the same after she read Finn's essay. Although Daria despised school and all it's cliques and gossip and all that other crap, she was still there, and she was the school brain. It was better to be the brain than the misery chick, but she was still looked at like she was some sort of rabid monster. But that identity was coming under siege by her own brother. Although Finn would certainly attempt to destroy an attempt she had at a social life, as he had done in the past, this was supposed to be something he couldn't, and wouldn't, touch. He was nowhere close to being smart.

But that was no longer the case now. He had proven to Daria that he was capable of doing the one thing she had over him.

"Something wrong?" Jane asked while she painted at her easel.

"How could that happen?" Daria wondered out loud.

"I looked at the easel and thought it needed to showcase the inherent insanity of the soul. And that's why I had burritos for lunch." Jane replied.

"I meant with Finn." Daria replied with a sigh. "How could he do that?"

"He wrote." Jane replied bluntly. "Seriously, Daria, it's just a fad. The game will come up and Finn will get bored with it, he'll revert back to brainless lunk and you'll be back to being the brainy misfit."

"But he doesn't do that. Ever. He's deadset against doing anything good in school."

"Why does it bother you that Finn did well on an essay?"

"If he's a brain, what does that make me?" Daria asked.

"A brain. It's not like one person holds the position." Jane bluntness was actually soothing Daria.

"But he's a brain with perfect hair, athletic skill, and goes on at least four dates a week." Daria stated.

"And he's got a killer body." Jane replied.

"What!" Daria rose her eyebrows.

"I'm not going to date him. It's just, well, I saw him walking back to his room after he got a shower, and well, it was art appreciation. Wait, can I change that to entrapment?"

"You're not helping. So now the big man on campus has brawn, brains, and beauty. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that?"

"You want to be the big man on campus?"

"No, but...I want to have something he doesn't have. He always takes things from me."

"You have plenty of things he doesn't have. You have an infinitely cooler room."

"You've been in Finn's room?"

"I walked down the hall after he got that shower. I peeked inside." Jane blushed. Daria glared at her.

"He left the door somewhat open. It would have been rude not to look. And I didn't see anything so don't worry about it."

"I hate you sometimes."

* * *

When Helen got home from work, she heard Finn upstairs in his room working out. After putting her briefcase away, she started to get dinner ready.

She wondered if she should have gone up to encourage Finn again about his essay. Just like when a two-year-old used the potty, encouragement was supposed to make him believe that it was the right thing to do.

"_And if it wasn't for your little freak-out, maybe I wouldn't be so worried." _Helen wondered. Finn had never done that well in school, pretty much as long as Helen could remember. He put forth only the basest amount of effort into his studies, and only tried hard when he was about to get on academic probation.

She knew that neither Jake nor Rita encouraged him to do better in his studies: the former was scared of any sort of chastisement, and the latter didn't do well in school herself. With Finn convinced that his mother didn't care for him, he would never listen to her, and Daria would never encourage her brother.

"_There has to be someone else, though." _Helen wondered. Didn't the school encourage everyone to do their best? She had only met a few of Finn's teachers, and she wasn't too impressed. Timothy O'Neill was just so creepy, and even thinking about Janet Barch made Helen angry.

"_Or is it his fellow students?" _Helen wondered. Kids were so fickle, but kids listened to other kids, and it was doubtful that any of them would do so. Helen knew how kids worked: they thought the sports teams and popularity were all you needed.

They were fools, but they were kids. What else to expect?

* * *

Before Helen could get dinner started, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it to find several teenaged boys standing in the doorway. Helen recognized them; they were friends of Finn's, all remembers of the varsity football team like he was.

"Hello, boys. Are you looking for Finn?" Helen asked.

"Err...yeah!" The redheaded boy answered, almost nervously.

"Well, come on in." Helen invited, and the boys took a seat on the couch. Helen started to move upstairs, but then realized this was a golden opportunity to dig deeper into Finn's essay. After all, he refused to talk to her about it, and refused to give her the essay to read herself.

"Boys, would you like a soda, or some coffee? I just put a pot on."

"Sure!" The blonde boy replied eagerly.

"Jamie!" The black-haired one noted.

"Come on into the kitchen." Helen led the boys to the kitchen, where they sat at the table.

After the boys had refreshment, Helen took a cup of coffee for herself and sat at the table.

"I understand that you boys have been close to Finn since he moved here. That's so wonderful you're such good friends."

"Ummm...yeah!' The redhead, Jeffy, he had introduced himself, stated.

"We've also talked with Mister Morgendorffer, when he's over here. He's funny." Jamie noted.

"Well, that's Jake for you." Helen dismissed playfully.

"Is he here, we wanted to say hi!" Joey, the dark haired boy, asked.

"No, unfortunately, he's with a new client. He's a marketing consultant."

"Oh."

"You know boys, I've been meaning to ask. Finn wrote a fantastic essay a little while ago, didn't he?"

"Yeah. It was in the school paper and everything!" Jeffy replied. Helen's eyes widened in amazement.

"Do you have a copy of it? Finn's keeps forgetting to give me one." Helen answered. Joey reached into his jeans and pulled out a folded page. Helen put it aside to read later.

"I'm surprised you kept it." Helen replied. "You liked it?"

"Yeah, it was pretty cool!" Joey replied. "It was, like really good. Better than me, that's for sure."

"Well, that's good to know that." Helen noted. Working so closely with lying clients gave Helen a sixth sense on detecting fibbers, and these boys were too genuine. Each of the boys affirmed that they liked the essay and were impressed with Finn for writing it, and Helen believed them.

"_So it's not his friends. I guess maybe it's his teachers?" _Helen thought.

* * *

"Hey, what's going on down here?" Finn's voice sounded from the living room.

"Hey, Finn, we're in here!" Jeffy called.

"Oh, Finn, there you are. Your friends came here to see you. I got them some coffee." Helen stood up.

"Yeah, thanks Mom." Finn replied tersely.

"We just stopped by to say hey, and tell you to meet at Pizza Palace at 12:30 on Saturday." Jamie quickly fibbed.

"You couldn't tell me tomorrow."

"Didn't know if you'd be free." Joey quickly compounded. Finn accepted that.

"We should get going." Jeffy replied.

* * *

After the guys exited the house, it wasn't long before they started to discuss what had happened.

"I wish we could have seen his dad." Joey noted. "He did say that."

"But Finn's dad is so nice. He's a little weird, but he's not a bad guy. I don't think his dad would do something like that. Did you see Finn and his mom?" Jeffy asked.

"Cold front moved in." Jamie nodded his head.

"I've never seen him that frosty before." Joey noted.

"Maybe we misheard him?" Jamie thought.

"Maybe. But I don't think so. That was kinda awkward."

"Well, none of our business." Joey noted. "I mean, some people don't get along with their family."

"Yeah." Jeffy looked down at his shoes. Jamie averted his gaze. Joey sighed. So Finn was human after all.

* * *

Three days later, Finn had to turn in a short essay in Mr. O'Neill's class. The day after that, Mr. O'Neill returned the grades. When Finn got his paper back, Mr. O'Nell put it face-down, the universal sign in the English teachers class that someone did not do well. Finn turned it over and breathed a sigh of relief. On the page was a large 72 in red pen.

"_Phew. I did it." _Finn was actually smiling as he saw the grade, it was exactly what he wanted. He turned around to his buddies, who all got slightly better grades. He did not show off his paper, but the other guys could see them from his desk. None of the three guys seemed happy with Finn. In fact, they almost looked disappointed. Finn had no idea why. They didn't like brains, and they jeered Daria and all the other geeks just as much as Finn did.

But then, his gaze turned towards Stacy, who also looked disappointed when she noticed the test score too. She had encouraged Finn, just like the guys did. She told him she liked the essay, just like the guys did.

But it was Stacy's soft, sad eyes that made Finn feel like he really let someone down. And then he realized that he let his buddies down too. Just like when he got a good grade in O'Neill's, he felt like he was going to hurl.

Daria heard the gossip about Finn's low essay grade sometime between 6th and 7th period.

"So, everything is back to normal." Jane noted. "Finn's stupid, you're smart, and all is right with the world." Jane smiled as the two walked towards Ms. Defoe's class.

"I couldn't be happier." Daria lied. It was true that her identity crisis was over. Finn wasn't about to encroach on her territory of being a brain, and it was through his own deliberate action. Finn wouldn't try something like that again anytime soon.

But this didn't relieve Daria. Instead she actually felt sick. Not with Finn, but with herself. It was through his own deliberate action that he got such poor test scores. Whether it was just apathy towards grades, or if he consciously made his work look bad, Daria couldn't tell. But she knew that Finn was still a brain, he just didn't want to succeed at school.

It may have been due to Finn's horrible relationship with his mother, who always pushed him to do well in school. He would do poorly just to spite her.

"_You're not the only brain in the family. Whether or not he does good in school, he's still a brain." _Daria never went to her brother's boxing matches willingly, but she had been forced to go on occasion. Looking back on them now, she realized Finn was incredibly tactical as a fighter, and used his opponent's strengths against him. He didn't win in boxing because of his fists; he won because of his brain.

"_Where does that leave me." _Daria wondered. Ever since they were young, Daria and Finn had always taken things from each other. The favorite flavor of popsicle, the last cherry soda, even money. But now Finn took the only thing Daria wanted, to be smarter then him. Even though he didn't seem to want it, now it was his.

Her identity crisis of being the smart girl at Lawndale was over. But she could no longer call herself the brain. And being the brain was the only thing Daria had over Finn.

_"Is that me? Do I just define myself by who Finn is not? Who are you, Daria?"_


	11. Man of Honor

When Finn picked up the phone when he got home from school, he was pleasantly surprised to discover Aunt Rita on the other line.

"Oh, I've been wanting to hear from you so bad, Aunt Rita!" Finn had a rough day in Barch's class; apparently this was some sort of anniversary with her ex-husband, and she took her revenge out on the male students, as she normally did.

But Aunt Rita's voice immediately lifted his spirits.

"Hello, Finn, I hope you're well." Aunt Rita was just as pleasant as Finn felt, and Finn wondered if his good karma was paying off.

"What's going on?"

"Well, I was going to call your mother and tell her the news. Brian did pop the question to Erin." Aunt Rita was happy, but she didn't seem enthusiastic about the news. Finn knew that his aunt was not a huge fan of Brian Danielson, but she tolerated him because Erin Chambers, Rita's daughter, was happy with him.

"_I know how you feel sometimes. I put up with Mom and Daria because Dad likes them." _Finn thought. He would not voice such a thing out to his aunt; he made it a point not to discuss unpleasant topics with her, unless he really needed advice.

"I'll give your mother all of the details regarding the where and when. But you are definitely going to be one of the groomsmen, Finn." Rita seemed more excited talking to Finn about the wedding party, which was to be expected given her feelings about Brian.

"I'll make sure my tuxedo matches the dresses."

"I've already contacted the bridal store, you can see them there." Rita instructed. "Also, Daria's going to be one of the bridesmaids."

"Really?" Finn tried to hide his disappointment. Daria was not cheerful enough to be in a wedding. She hated dresses anyway.

"So you'll be able to see them when you take her there." Rita finished.

"I sure can do that." Finn replied. "And I don't have a game or anything this weekend anyway. I'm sure we can have lunch together or something the day before the ceremony."

"That's my secret plan." Rita laughed. "It's been too long, Finn. I really wish we could see more of each other."

"So do I, Aunt Rita." Finn replied. They exchanged farewells, and Finn's mind started happily racing as he thought about this wedding. It would, no doubt, be in a very extravagant place. Aunt Rita would have handled picking the dresses, so they would be beautiful and stylish, and make even Daria look halfway presentable.

* * *

At the dinner table, Helen appeared to be talking with Rita about the where and when of the wedding. Finn had taken the liberties of informing his father and Daria about the ceremony, as well as Daria's role as bridesmaid. She took it exactly as Finn thought she would, with shock and hostility.

"So I get to parade around in some ridiculously expensive dress for one day and pretend I'm interested in a wedding?"

"Daria." Finn replied in a cautionary tone, warning her not to speak another word. It was true that Finn did not know much about Erin, but she was Rita's daughter, and the two cousins spoke occasionally. Finn's relationship with his aunt did not border on his cousin, it was just between the two of them.

"So, it's being held at the Windsor Hills Resort over in Leeville." Helen informed her family after hanging up the phone.

"Windsor Hills?" Jake seemed excited. "They have one of the best golf courses on the East Coast!" While talk of the wedding did not excite him, the revelation of the location put a large smile on his face.

Finn didn't want to destroy it for his dad, but, luckily for him, his mother did it for him.

"Jake, we're going to Erin's wedding, not to have a good time."

"We can have a good time at the wedding." Finn tried to encourage. "I'm sure there's going to be..." Finn trailed off, uncertain of how to complete the sentence. Because of his mother's hostile relationship with Rita, Jake and Rita were not very close to each other, and had very little in common. What else could he do there? Particularly something that would be more fun than playing golf?

"I'm sure there will be time before the rehearsal dinner." Finn blurted out quickly, desperate to save face. Jake seemed to accept that.

* * *

Finn escorted Daria to the bridal shop the next day. As soon as he caught the snarky salesman's attitude towards Daria, Finn found a smile he could not suppress.

"_You get what you give, Daria." _Finn thought. This place did not rent out tuxedos, so he and Jake would have to go to a rental shop another time. While he waited, and smiled as Daria was being stuck with pins, he witnessed Jodie and Brittany modeling dresses.

"_They couldn't, could they?" _Finn thought. Probably not; Jodie was way too sensible to get married in high school. And Brittany? Well, Brittany probably couldn't remember if someone proposed to her.

Finn decided not to bother them. It was nothing he needed to worry about.

* * *

Helen had planned to arrive at Windsor Hills the day of the ceremony, but Finn was insistent that the group make it for the rehearsal. While Finn didn't actually care about that dinner and wouldn't have minded missing it, he did want a chance to spend time with Aunt Rita before the ceremony. Knowing his mother, she would shuffle everyone to sleep the second the reception was over, and then drive out before the sun rose.

"_Jesus Christ, Mom." _Finn sighed as he packed his bags for the early trip tomorrow. She always tried to put a damper on the relationship between aunt and nephew. Finn knew of how much his mother despised Aunt Rita for things that made absolutely no sense, and she never even tried to get along. Even now, as much as Finn wanted to see his aunt, he was scared to go to Leeville. Because those two would fight and argue, and Finn just couldn't take it. Even when Finn talked to them separately, they would sometimes delve into insulting the other. Ordering his mother to stop was easy, but, as much as Finn didn't get along with his mother, he would not let his aunt Rita insult her. At least, not when it wasn't legitimate, which sometimes happened.

"_What I would give to have them stop. Why can't I make them stop?" _

_

* * *

_

Helen sighed as she cleaned up the dinner plates. Daria was up in her room reading, Finn was either packing for the trip or working out, and Jake was happily snoring on the couch with a newspaper over his face.

She didn't approve of this wedding, not one bit. She wasn't the least bit concerned about Erin, or Brian, or anyone else. There were only two concerns on her mind: Rita and Finn. Helen had been informed by Rita that their mother was fronting the bill for the wedding.

"_How typical." _Helen sighed. Rita always got the gifts from their mother, and their father, before he passed. Nothing but the best for the eldest, and favorite, daughter. While Rita was privileged beyond the Barksdale family means; Helen and the other daughter, the youngest, Amy, received very little in comparison. Rita got the nicer car, Rita got the encouragement, despite the fact that she did the worst in school. And it passed on to their children. While Erin got her wedding paid, neither Daria nor Finn received much from Grandma Barksdale, which surprised Helen a bit considering Finn and Rita were so alike.

"_And then there's you, Finn." _Helen thought. Finn fought tooth and nail to make sure everyone arrived on time for the rehearsal, even though Helen knew Finn cared little for that. He wanted to see his aunt: the one who taught him that seduction, rather then effort, was the way to succeed at life.

While Helen liked the idea that Finn was so enthusiastic about keeping tabs on his family, Rita and his father were the only two people he did it with. His efforts with his mother were fake, and Helen knew it. Finn didn't care about the legal world, or whatever Helen did in the little off-time she had.

Helen did resent the fact that she always had to be the bad guy, but Finn did need that. He needed to understand that looks weren't everything. While Finn had a high level of initiative, plenty of natural talent, and leadership qualities most would envy, Finn was only interested in using them for selfish gain. There was nothing wrong with profit, but one needed to temper that with morality. Helen had no idea where Finn's moral boundaries lie. Not to mention his intellectual ones. One of Finn's friends had given her a copy of that essay he had written, and Helen was amazed at it's quality.

"_Rita." _Helen mentally challenged. "_Finn is my son. I don't know how you managed to sink your claws into him, but you did it well. But you won't show him how to keep a job, or use his brain to solve his problems. I will not let you ruin him. I will not."_

_

* * *

_

Family drives were always insufferable, Finn thought to himself as he took in the country scenery. Particularly when his mother was not the one driving. At least when she was on the driver's side, she concentrated on driving and didn't speak much.

"Who is Rita bringing to this shindig, Finn?" Jake asked pleasantly.

"His name is Paul. Paul Meyerson." Finn noted.

"Paul Meyerson? I went in Scouts with a guy named that. I wonder if it's the same man?"

"Did you keep in touch with him?" Finn asked. "What does he do?" Jake thought for a second, but he didn't answer. Perhaps he didn't know.

"_Oh well, you'll know when you see him." _Finn thought. He tried to keep his eyes off of his mother. Finn's plan was to break away from her as soon as he could. He could call Aunt Rita on her cellular, and she could pick him up discretely. Finn found it shameful that he had to sneak around just to spend time with his aunt, but that was Helen Morgendorffer for you. She made anything unnecessarily difficult.

Finn knew that she would try to pull something to get him to stay close. But Finn had other plans. There were windows in the men's room.

* * *

Aunt Rita was standing at the doors of the resort to greet the family Morgendorffer. She had her arm around a man Finn did not recongnize, presumably Paul Meyerson. While Jake dealt with the valet and tried to get the luggage out, Finn made a beeline to his Aunt.

"Aunt Rita!" Finn exclaimed cheerfully.

"Oh, Finn!" Rita let go of Paul to embrace her nephew.

"It has been too long. Oh my, you've grown up so much." Rita showered him with kisses.

"I've missed you." Finn replied. The two broke up a minute later.

"Finn, I don't think you've met Paul Meyerson."

"Just heard the name. Nice to meet you." Finn shook the man's hand.

"So this is the Finn that Rita often speaks kindly of." Paul was polite to Finn.

"Hello, Helen!" Rita embraced her sister. Helen returned it.

"And Jake, you look very well." Rita praised her brother-in-law. He replied sheepishly, but Finn didn't catch the words.

"Paul Meyerson?" Jake asked Rita's beau. So they did know each other. The two men started to talk about golf, and Finn just left them alone. It was a conversation he didn't need to be in.

"Daria, you look splendid. Did the dress fit?" Rita asked.

"I have the pin scars to prove it." Daria replied. Finn had seen Daria put on the dress, and it did not look like it was made for her, but Daria would find a way to ruin it even if it did fit.

"Aunt Rita, where is Erin?" Finn asked.

"She's up in her room, just getting the last touches for the ceremony. She still needs to figure out where to put her something blue." Rita replied. Finn was about to say something else, when a bright sports car came up to the curb. From out of the car stepped a tall woman Finn didn't initially recognize, but soon recalled it to be Aunt Amy, his other aunt. She said something playfully to the valet, then walked off towards Helen and Rita.

"Amy? How delightful. I didn't think you were going to attend." Rita replied.

"Well, I couldn't miss the opportunity to watch the two of you put aside years of resentment. Or try to poison each other. Either way, more exciting then the plans I had fall through. Looks like Jake and Roger are hitting it off well." Amy regarded the two men, who seemed to be pleasantly engaged.

"Amy, Roger passed away a few months ago, this is Paul." Helen informed. Amy didn't miss a beat, and moved on to the children.

"Ah, Helen's children. Daria and Finn, if I remember." Amy replied.

"Hi, Aunt Amy." Finn stated. He did not get along with that one. Much like his mother, Amy rarely, if ever, had a kind word to say about Aunt Rita. Or about anyone else, for that matter. But she did bust Finn's mother, far better than Finn can do. At least she wasn't all bad.

"Hello, Finn. My, you've grown up big and strong. Steroid injections?"

"Now he does pills." Daria teased. "Mom checks his veins."

"That's not funny." Finn scowled. He worked out very hard to get where he was, and never once touched a drug like that.

"Sure it is. I like the way you think, Daria." Amy smiled at her. Now Finn liked her even less.

"Amy, that's not appropriate." Rita stepped in. "Finn's a member of the football team, he put forth all that effort and it paid off. And they do drug tests for that sort of thing anyway." Finn smiled. Amy's tone had told Finn that she was not being serious about the whole steroid crack, but, even then, his Aunt Rita always defended him.

"Let's find out where we can seat you." Rita and Amy walked into the building, Paul tailing them.

"_Good." _Finn thought. Get that unpleasant woman away from him.

"Where's the bar." Helen moaned as she went inside.

"Err...Helen? It's only eleven in the morning." Jake started to follow her, leaving the two siblings outside.

"Daria, do you ever have the feeling that you know you have to do something, but if you do it, you'll end up murdering someone?" Finn asked.

"I go to class with Kevin Thompson." Daria noted.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Finn went up to his hotel room, but it wasn't long before Aunt Rita knocked on his door.

"Managed to squeeze Amy in somewhere. Are you ready for lunch?" Rita asked pleasantly.

"Of course!" Finn smiled. "Err...Mom's not going to jump out at us, is she?"

"She's at the hotel bar." Rita noted.

"I thought she was kidding."

"I'm not surprised." Rita muttered. "Let's just get going. I want to hear all about your school."

* * *

Aunt Rita and Finn went to a restaurant, where Finn dominated the conversation, all to Aunt Rita's encouragement. Finn told her the stories and adventures he had, even the ones where he messed up. He could always tell his Aunt Rita anything.

"I wish you had told me about that nasty Doctor Shar woman." Rita noted as she sipped a water.

"I thought I knew what I was doing." Finn noted sadly. "But at least I learned my lesson."

"I'm surprised that it was Daria who told you those thing."

"Me too." Finn replied.

"I'm just so happy to see you so well-adjusted, Finn."

"It's all thanks to you, Aunt Rita." Finn praised, eager to change the subject away from it's inevitable conclusion. Daria had been there for him when Finn was struggling with anorexia, his buddies made him feel better about himself when he lost a game, and Stacy always had a kind word for him. Finn had all of those people standing up for him, but none of them were his own mother. Even Daria's track record was better.

"Is Brian still..." Finn couldn't finish the question. He knew that Rita did not approve of Brian, but accepted him because he made Erin happy.

Rita did not press the topic either, and instead reversed the discussion back to Finn. She asked him of his friends, of the football team, and asked if anything had changed regarding Stacy, which it hadn't.

"It's all a matter of attitude. Change that, and the rest will fall into place." Aunt Rita advised. Finn figured that to be true, but how on Earth could he change Stacy's meek attitude when she practically retreated at his approach.

The topic steered towards pleasant topics, where it remained for all of lunch. Neither Finn nor Rita were in any hurry to leave.

"Oh my, isn't this lovely." Finn heard a woman's voice sound off to the side. He pivoted his head to see an elderly woman, whom Finn realized had been dining at the table close to them.

"May I help you?" Finn asked politely.

"I do hope I'm not being rude, but I just had to say what a darling little boy you are. So well-mannered and pleasant. I had almost thought the art of manners was lost on children today. You must be very proud of your son." The woman told Rita.

"Well, Finn's not my..." Rita started.

"Oh, you're not being rude at all. Thank you very much, ma'am." Finn smiled at her. "There are some things that are too important to chalk up to being old-fashioned."

"Aw, how sweet!" The old woman hobbled back to her chair.

"You do have such lovely posture, Finn." Rita praised. But Finn wasn't listening. For a brief moment, a stranger thought he was Rita's child. He wasn't about to alter that opinion. After all, he liked the idea too.

* * *

The wedding rehearsal went exactly as planned, although Finn was rather bored with it. He had nothing against Erin, but he had a chance to talk to Brian during the dinner, and Finn was not impressed. He was apparently in the government doing intelligence of some kind, but the man was a complete ass. Like Tommy Sherman. Once the two men were alone, Brian started talking about some pretty vulgar stuff, and, if Finn knew his slang correctly, the reason for the marriage was because Brian had given Erin herpes. And the jerk wasn't ashamed of it at all.

Finn wanted to punch out the jerk for doing such a thing to his Aunt Rita's only child, but Finn paused. Finn could have punched him, but Rita would be upset. Not to mention Finn was scared of contracting it himself. Could he contract herpes if he punched out a guy with it? Finn could make him bleed, after all.

Finn wondered if Aunt Rita already knew about that. Would Erin have told her? Finn had no idea, and he wasn't sure if he was in the right to pry. The last thing he wanted was for Aunt Rita to be upset with him. It was just as bad as having Jake upset. He sighed as he went upstairs to his room to catch forty winks. The wedding was outdoors in the afternoon, so Finn had to get an early start to make sure he was prepared and beautiful once the ceremony started.

"_Heh. I went the whole day without seeing Mom." _Finn thought. He had seen his mother hit the bar when he left with Aunt Rita, but he didn't c heck on her after that. He had been quite certain that she would do something to prevent the two from staying with each other. Could she have had a change of heart? No, definitely not. More like shew as too drunk to do anything else.

"_Will you blame Aunt Rita for that too?" _Finn seethed silently to himself. He knew that his mother would start talking during the wedding reception, and probably ruin this beautiful day by fighting with his Aunt. And Aunt Rita would get suckered into the argument.

Finn was upset as he thought about it. Now he wanted a drink.

* * *

There were quite a number of clouds starting to gather as all of the guests assembled for the wedding. Dark, stormy clouds. Finn frowned a bit as he wondered if it would rain.

"It can't rain on the day of the ceremony, it just can't!" One of the bridesmaids fussed.

"Every couple should be so fortunate." A somber looking tuxedoed gentleman responded. "Rain has been a symbol of divine providence for centuries. Fertility, growth nuturing,, all things we should expect in a marriage." Finn would have been impressed by the man's optimistic statement if his somber voice and characteristic frown didn't make Finn think he wasn't trying to look on the bright side, but rather, just to insult the bridesmaid for no reason.

"Oh, Finn, there you are." Rita smiled. "You will be escorting Daphne." Finn was paired with a blonde girl he had never met before. Was she from Brian's family? Finn didn't know many of his extended cousins: Aunt Rita was the only member he associated with, and she did not discuss them often.

"Daria, you'll be seated with Luhrmann." Rita continued. Daria was paired with the cynical man, a pairing that seemed to work out very well. Rita disappeared to help out with some last minute preparations. Finn moved to help her, but the woman was moving so fast that Finn deemed it wise not to interrupt her.

"It's nice to meet you, Finn." Daphne was older than Finn, maybe college-aged. Finn smiled at her, but said nothing. He could have flirted, but then the bridesmaid would be interested in him rather than the wedding, and that would not do.

Finn was hoping to get a chance to congratulate Erin before the ceremony, but the young woman was so busy with her dress that the opportunity never presented itself. Finn took his place when the ceremony started, and remained in quiet reverence as the minister started to speak.

The preacher's words went over Finn's head, but the vows were spoken before the rain came down, and Finn was very happy for Erin. The bouquet was thrown, and thankfully, Daria wasn't the one to catch it, and everyone piled back into their limos.

Finn was riding with his own family since Rita was in Erin's limo. There was no talking at all in the limo between the family members, save Helen to Jake. Apparently, the best man had given Jake his flask of liquor to hold since he was standing in the ceremony, and Helen was trying to get a drink from it.

"Helen, we really shouldn't be..."

"It's a damn open bar, Jake." Helen reminded. "We'll just fill it up anyway." Finn laughed to himself. His mother must have already pounded a few before. While Jake still rustled with Helen over the flask, Finn looked over at Daria, who had a blank expression on her face. She noticed Finn's troubled look, but said nothing. But Finn did not get angry with her. What was there to say?

* * *

Helen wanted a drink as soon as she took a seat at her table. Jake had left her to sit at the bar, probably chatting it up with Paul.

"Helen, did you enjoy the ceremony?" Rita came over with Erin.

"Why, yes!" Helen knew that she was tipsy, but was able to smile politely. "I am very happy that you found the man you love, Erin." She addressed the bride.

"Thank you, Aunt Helen." Erin blushed. She was the blushing, giddy bride for the entire ceremony. It wouldn't last long; Helen had met Brian during the rehearsal dinner, and after talking with him for two agonizing minutes, wondered if the sand traps here were deep enough to bury a body.

"Where is Finn?" Rita asked pleasantly.

"I haven't seen him since the ceremony started. Anyway, you saw him yesterday." Helen's voiced was only slightly slurred.

"Give him a chance to see all of the other guests." Helen finished. Erin's eyes widened a bit. Rita looked like she was about to reply, but quickly, Erin interrupted.

"He's over there." Erin noted. Finn was chatting it up pleasantly with Daphne, the bridesmaid he had been paired with during the ceremony. He was holding a glass of what was either ginger ale or champagne, and Helen was willing to believe that Rita had given him the latter. They didn't serve champagne in flutes.

"There he is." Rita smiled. "Finn!" She called. Finn heard his name being called, and he smile back at his aunt, politely excused himself with Daphne, and made his way over.

"Oh, Erin, it is so lovely to see you." Finn smiled politely at Erin.

"I just wish we got to see each other sooner." Erin was very happy, and Helen wondered why that was. Finn and Erin had probably exchanged all of fifty words in the fourteen years Finn had been alive.

"Aunt Rita tells me you picked out that dress. You've got such a fashionable eye." Finn praised. Erin blushed a little.

"I have to go find my hubby. I still can't get over that I get to say that. Hubby!" Erin squealed a little in delight, gave her mother, Helen, and Finn a hug, and excused herself.

* * *

"I wonder if she's excited?" Finn asked with a pleasant sarcasm. Rita laughed.

"Finn, are you drinking champagne?" Helen asked. Finn's eyebrows raised as he looked at the glass in his hands, then he hid it behind his back. All the answer Helen needed.

"Oh, Helen, it's a party, and Finn's not driving anywhere." Rita replied.

"Of course it's a party. A lavish party thrown by Mother for her favorite granddaughter!" Helen exclaimed, proving to Finn and Rita both just how much wine she had drank.

"Mom, don't!" Finn's voice turned into a growl. Whether his mother heard him or not, she made no motions.

"Finn, you know you aren't supposed to drink champagne. Alcohol isn't for the under 21's. Put the glass down." Helen instructed.

"Finn, you don't have to put it down as long as you're staying here." Rita returned. Finn's mouth turned into a face of unease.

"Rita, Finn's my son, not yours." Helen's eyes narrowed as she regarded her sister.

"And I'm sure that makes you proud." Rita replied.

"Aunt Rita, don't!" Finn pleaded. The women ignored him. Finn tried to protest again, but saw the futility. The two women stared daggers at each other, and ignored the entire world around them. Finn pounded back the glass of champagne he was carrying, and then darted off without a word. The two women didn't even notice him.

* * *

"And you're going to lecture me on raising my own son?" Helen challenged Rita.

"It's not just about squeezing them out, Helen!" Rita returned. "If you showed the slightest bit of interest in your son, maybe he'd actually listen to you."

"And I suppose the person he should listen to is you. What were you doing at his age again? Was it smack or angel dust?" Helen challenged.

"Helen, I'm not proud of everything I've done in my past, and I don't tell Finn to do things like that."

"You taught him some other wonderful skills though, Rita. I can't even count how many gifts Finn receives from girls from his school. We don't even need to shop for clothes for him anymore. All from girls he doesn't even love." Helen pounded back another glass of wine. She didn't know who the original owner was.

"And what's that supposed to mean."

"Oh, you should see your protégé at work! After all, with good looks like his, who needs hard work, or to keep a job? That's the way to succeed at life, just cling to the richest thing you lay your eyes on!" Helen sarcastically noted.

"And I suppose there's something wrong with being friendly and nice to everyone? Maybe he should have been more like you, Helen. You're the great success, aren't you, with your fancy degrees and all your great grades. But oh, look at that, I think I have children. Oh Finn, look at me, I'm a success. Do everything like I do! When was your birthday again?"

"I have never forgotten my son's birthday!" Helen roared.

"Maybe not, but you sure don't know much else." Rita returned. "Do you know Finn's favorite color, or his favorite designer? Of course not, you're too busy with law to even give a care. And when you do take an interest, you're just yelling at him."

"I'm trying to make sure he knows the rules and boundaries to operate. Not things you'd know, Rita. You got everything you ever wanted handed to you through seduction and flirting, and Finn needs to know he needs to work hard to be successful. Not just have everything given to him." Helen replied. There was a brief period of silence for a moment as the two women regarded each other.

"Just say what's really on your mind, Helen." Rita dared. "You think I'm a bad influence on your son."

"I don't need to say it." Helen returned. "It's already true."

"Like you're a better one. You think I'm the one who sought Finn out, just to make you jealous? To give you a presence of me?"

"Thought never crossed my mind." Helen replied with obvious sarcasm.

"Helen, Finn sought me out! Finn looked for a mother to replace the crappy one he had!" Rita dared, her face red with fury.

* * *

After he bolted from the reception, Finn was furious. He had more glasses of champagne then the one Aunt Rita had given him, and the alcohol was starting to make him unsteady.

"_Jesus Christ!" _Finn thought. It happened again. His mother and his Aunt Rita were fighting over him. Again. It always freaking happened, no matter how many times Finn told the both of them not to.

He didn't even get why they did it, and he didn't care too. He bolted from that area before anyone could see he was close to the feuding.

He wanted to punch someone, anyone, just to get out all of this leftover tension. But instead, he went to a quiet corner of the country club and sat down. He didn't want to see anyone, not even his dad. Jake Morgendorffer would not be upset with Finn, but he would definitely be trying to prevent the two women from fighting. And if Rita's beau or Erin joined in? Finn wanted to be nowhere near that gas fire.

Finn sat alone on a stairway, trying not to cry. And he was failing miserably.

* * *

The festivities were too much for Amy Barksdale, who rolled her eyes as she regarded her two sisters feuding about Finn, Helen's son, of all people.

"_As if the feuds you had when you were children were enough. You needed fresh blood." _Amy sighed. She stood up to go to the ladies' room. On her way there, she heard the sound of sniffing, and she was sure she knew who it belonged too.

"Well, well. It's the guest of honor sitting out on his own private little war." Amy saw Finn, the boy those two were fighting so fervently over, crying his eyes out on a staircase.

"Go away, Aunt Amy!" The boy replied with hostility, a reaction Amy found amusing. She didn't know very much about Finn. All she ever heard about him was from the feuds Rita and Helen had, and Amy knew better than to take those at face value.

Amy just stood there quietly for a moment. Finn would speak up in a minute, she reasoned. He was the more uncomfortable.

"What's it going to take for me to send you somewhere else?" Finn stated.

"Wow, you really are Helen's son. Only she bribes like that."

"Hey!" Finn yelled.

"Rather be Rita's?" Amy dared to ask.

"That's a mean question!" Finn challenged.

"But a fair one." Amy returned. "And I don't expect you to answer it." The tension between the two dissolved for a minute.

"Why do they fight over me like that?" Finn wondered aloud. Amy wondered if he had forgotten she was there or not.

"Yes, Finn, it's all your fault." Amy replied. "The only proper course of action is hara-kiri. You can probably find a suitable weapon at your local daycare. Come on, listen to yourself."

"You're not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny." Amy returned. "I'm just pointing out how stupid it was. You think those two only started fighting when you were around? If they didn't have you to fight over, they would find something else. They did before." Finn did not even regard what Amy said. Amy paused for a moment. She never claimed to be an expert on teenage boys.

"You're really hung up on this, aren't you?" Amy tried to be supportive.

"Can you stop them?" Finn asked. "I'll pay you."

"If it was that simple, this would have never happened. There's nothing that can be done for them, not now, at least. But if you're up for a possible long-term solution, I could probably make them feel awful about fighting over you."

"You...you leave them alone!" Finn balled his hands into fists. "I know you, Aunt Amy. I know you like fighting with them just as much as they do!"

Amy ignored his criticism.

"You really think you have a right to lecture me on this. We've both dealt with this our whole lives, Finn, but you're, what, fifteen? I'm forty. Count it up." Amy crossed her arms across her chest. Deep down, Amy knew that years alone didn't account for a whole lot. Finn was a lot younger and less capable of dealing with this than her, and, as much as the other two sisters feuded, they never feuded about the youngest sister. In fact, despising Amy was one of the few things Helen and Rita agreed on.

But this would work on Finn. He was still a kid.

"I want them to stop." Finn agreed. Amy reached into her purse and gave the boy her hotel key.

"Knowing your mother, she probably has a key to your room, so just sleep in mine tonight. I wasn't planning on sleeping over anyway. Don't worry, I'll make sure your mother knows where you are so she doesn't organize a manhunt."

"Why are you helping me, Aunt Amy?" Finn was suspicious. A million answers swam in Amy's head for a response.

"I'm getting what I want." Amy decided on the simplest answer. Finn stared at her a moment, but seemed to accept the answer.

* * *

The fight was still in full swing between Helen and Rita. Although both Jake and Erin had come over to try and put a stop to it, neither woman was about to back down.

"Were you ever around when Finn was scared, Helen?" Rita dared. "Or when he was lonely? You always yell at me that Mom never encouraged you, but do you ever give Finn any encouragement at all?"

"I encourage my son plenty!" Helen returned.

"With a backhanded slap that he's never good enough. You were never happy with him, you wish he was someone else. I don't claim to be the perfect woman, Helen, but at least I care enough to actually be interested in his life. I've come to more of his football games than you have, and I live nearly six hours away!"

"And I suppose you encourage him to actually do well in school, Rita." Helen noted sarcastically. "You're such a role model, Erin's getting married at twenty-one to the first man that gave her herpes, and it's not like she went to college or has any academic achievement to speak of. I suppose it would make you happy when you find out Finn's a teenage father getting his girlfriends to pay all his bills for him."

"No, it wouldn't!" Rita returned. "And I suppose it would make you happy when Finn becomes a soulless corporate suit who would authorize Soylent Green because it makes a quick buck." There was another awkward silence between the two of them.

"You don't know how much he's cried!" Rita glared. "How much he's beaten himself up because you make him feel like a failure."

Were it anyone else, Helen might have listened to the advice. She did remember how Finn thought he was unloved. But this was Rita talking. Every word was a calculated plan, a game of one-up. It was ridiculous to believe anything Rita said.

"Maybe I'll consider you a good influence..." Helen started, but she was quickly interrupted by another voice.

* * *

"Well, well, let the banquet of chaos begin." Amy's voice interrupted the two women. Unlike Jake or Erin, Amy was bold enough to step right into the fray.

"What do you want, Amy? We're in the middle of something." Helen stated.

"I couldn't resist seeing more of the same carnage I grew up with. But I did hear you mention Finn's name. Were you looking for him? He's up in my room, crying." Amy delivered. At that sentence, both Helen and Rita gasped.

"Oh my!" Rita became sad. Helen started to move away, presumably to go find her son, but Amy quickly grabbed her by the wrist.

"Isn't this rich." Amy's tone had changed from teasing to accusatory in a matter of seconds. "You two spend all this time in this biggest chutzpah contest on who is the better mother, and the trophy hates it. Spray paint him silver and put him on the mantel."

"What?" Rita stated.

"Come on, Rita. Did you honestly think that Finn likes it when you argue with Helen? And you, Helen, you think he's happy when you pick on Rita? He sees how stupid your fight is. Aren't you supposed to be his role models?" Amy expertly delivered. Helen and Rita were silent.

"Amy, what room are you in?" Helen asked.

"Finn has the key, it wouldn't make a difference." Amy delivered. "And I wouldn't tell you anyway. Either of you. Finn's mad at you and he's got the right. Now, I'm leaving. Don't bother following me, and don't bother with the front desk. I've already instructed them that no one is to ask for a duplicate key to the hotel room." Amy walked out with her head held up high. Being able to insult one of her sisters was common enough, but to insult both of them at the same time about the same thing was priceless.

"_I guess all three Barksdale sisters go to Hell." _Amy thought as she reveled in the carnage she caused. It served both of them right.

* * *

After Amy left the hotel, she joined up with Daria, whom she had been talking to in the bathroom after she talked with Finn. Amy couldn't help but like the young girl. She grew up with Helen as a mother, so she had guts. And there was something about her sarcastic commentary about the wedding that seemed wholly familiar. The two went out to the bowling alley for cheese fries.

Amy had informed the girl of what had happened. Daria sucked it all in wordlessly.

"So your mother is a dictator and Rita is a slacker, and Finn's the rope in a tug-of-war. I wonder which one wins."

"The one that gets his legs." Daria answered. "Because the other gets his head, and there's not much there."

"I heard Mary Hart had her legs insured. Think Finn could get that before his torso splits." Amy returned. There was a quiet silence for a bit.

"He hates it, you know."

"I figured that. It's a sign that he might be human. One of these days, someone will have to look for a zipper in the skin suit, though." Daria returned, but her sarcasm didn't have the usual bite in it. Was she saddened that it bothered her brother, or did she too hate her mother's feuds with Rita over him?

"Don't be so hard on him. His only crime was optimism. A simple offense, but a fatal one in the Barksdale family. It's its own punishment." Amy replied.

"Fighting over a fourteen year old boy. You'd think people grew out of that."

"People don't grow out of a lot of things." Amy returned. "There are some pretty sick fetishes out there." Amy paused for a moment.

"You know, Finn's not the only thing they fight over."

"Yeah, I gathered that." Daria returned.

"But, you know something. If those two ever do stop fighting, it will be because of Finn." Amy looked up at the ceiling. She had spent decades of her life listening to the background noise of Helen and Rita arguing. Even after Helen went off to college and Rita moved out to live with her current boyfriend, the fighting never stopped, the calls never stopped. It wasn't until Amy grew up that she never had to listen to it again. Finn was just the latest topic in a sea of other topics they fought about.

They had fought about people before: their mother was a constant point of interest between the two. But both Helen and Rita actually agreed on wanting the best for Finn; they just disagreed on what that was.

A subtle distinction, but an important one. If they could agree on that, then maybe they could agree on other things.

"_Guilty, Amy Barksdale." _Amy told herself, although even she wasn't sure if she was just commenting on the situation or chiding herself. "_You should know better. But, they do say if you want something bad enough, you'll believe anything." _

Amy caught herself laughing when she recalled what she told Finn: that she was getting what she wanted out of the deal for blasting her two sisters. It seemed it had a meaning not obvious to even her.


	12. Carnivore

Seated at the lunch table, Finn eagerly chatted up his buddies as they ate. It had been two weeks since the family disaster at Erin's wedding, and Finn was still seething at both Aunt Rita and his mother. Rita had called a few times, but Finn refused to speak to her. His family was willing to go along with the charade for now. As for his mother, she hadn't spoken a word to him about it. Of course, Finn didn't give her the opportunity too: He spent most of his time away from home now, usually skipping dinner there, just like Daria did.

"_I know what you'll say anyway." _Finn groaned to himself. It would just turn into anti-Rita rants. Although Finn was angry with his aunt, the fact that Aunt Rita was making the effort meant a lot to him, and he'd probably pick up the phone before long. His mother, though, with the big whatever case she had, couldn't be more interested.

"Hey, guys, how's it going?" A familiar voice called out from behind them. Finn turned in his seat to see Mad Mack coming over to greet the crew.

"Hey, dude, take a seat!" Finn smiled. He wasn't as close to the captain of the team as he was to his buddies, but that was to be expected given the fact they were in different grades and shared no classes.

"What's up, dude?" Jeffy asked politely.

"Just thought I'd say hey to everyone. Wondering if you guys wanted to come to a barbecue this weekend."

"Count me in." Finn stated almost eagerly. This weekend was almost assuredly time for a mother-son bonding day, and the key to successfully avoiding them was to make plans before Helen made her last-minute announcement.

"Yeah, sounds good!" Joey agreed.

"What's the occasion?" Jamie asked.

"We always throw one about this time of year. Weather starts warmer, and my dad always wants an excuse to show off his grilling skills."

"Good grilling skills?" Finn asked.

"I haven't died yet." Mack returned.

"Sounds awesome. Maybe we could have a backyard football game, too."

"You read my mind."

"I'll just make sure I finish that project we have before the weekend." Mack stated.

"Project?" Jeffy asked.

"Yeah, Mr. O'Neill gave us an assignment in living literature, he called it. We're supposed to make movies."

"He never assigns stuff like that to us." Jeffy stated. "We just read these boring poems."

"Alright then, I've got to get to work on this." Mack stated. "See you Saturday at 2."

After school, Finn found himself with not a whole lot to do to avoid the house. He even did his homework in the library. He realized he had to tiptoe his way in around seven, which was late enough to avoid dinner. There, he could shower and disappear into his room, where he could pretend to be asleep. That would keep his mother away.

* * *

However, when he got home, he found the entire family sitting in the living room. His father was sitting around a ton of video tapes.

"Oh, Finn, there you are!" Jake called when he noticed the truant boy in the doorway.

"Hi, Dad." Finn smiled. "What's on the tapes?"

"Old home movies!" Jake eagerly exclaimed. "I get to relive all the wonderful memories of you kids's childhood!"

"_There's irony." _Finn thought. Although Finn had plenty of fond memories of his childhood with his father, there weren't any fond ones of Daria. After all, how fond could it be to constantly get called into school for being unpleasant. The first time Finn remembered Daria being kind was only a few months ago.

"Speaking of movies, Dad, I need to borrow the video camera for a project I have to do in Mr. O'Neill's class." Daria stated.

"Oh yeah, I heard Mack had to do a project like that. Well, g'night everyone." Finn quickly went upstairs before his mother had the opportunity to mention that she'd like to speak to him.

* * *

"Daria, what are you planning on doing for your project?"

"Well, I'm partnered with Jane." Daria stated. "And I think we have an idea on what we're going to do, but nothing is set in stone yet."

"That sounds great!" Jake cheered.

"What's the idea?"

"We might follow Finn around for a little while." Daria stated. She smiled. This project was going to be displayed to the entire class, and probably to other of Mr. O'Neill's classes. This was the perfect way to show the entire school was a complete and total ass her brother was. They only saw the rippling muscles and cheerful smile, and now was the chance to show his legendary greed and borderline sociopathy.

Helen seemed to pause a moment.

"Why Finn?" She asked.

"Easy accessibility." Daria stated. "And the entire school already loves him. It's a topic they'll be interested in."

"Daria." Helen looked at her warily. She wasn't buying the excuse.

"Finn and I couldn't be more different from each other. I'm kind of curious to see how the other side lives." Daria stated. Helen's gaze did not change.

"What is it. Mom?" Daria asked.

"I mean, Daria, that when you make this video, which of Finn's traits is it going to showcase?"

"The ones we get on tape." Daria gave the factual answer. It was much easier to deflect her mother when she was driving the conversation. It was Helen's fatal flaw: she liked being in control too much, so that when she had it, it was easy to sneak by her.

"Daria." Helen returned.

"I can take it easy on him." Daria returned. She then went upstairs to her room. In truth, she knew she wouldn't be working very hard anyway. Finn was so selfish that she didn't have to do anything at all.

* * *

Part of Daria wondered whether or not she was going to regret this. Finn had been avoiding the house ever since Erin's wedding, and wondering where he was often came from Helen's mouth at the dinner table. He was still furious with his mother for what happened there. Daria didn't know the details, but, through tidbits she heard from her father and Aunt Amy, Finn was definitely not in the wrong to feel that way. Would completely and totally destroying his popularity push him over the edge?

"_I wouldn't be destroying anything worthwhile. Just Finn." _Daria reasoned. She realized that she would have to ask Finn about taping the project in the first place. It would be easy, to fool him, but Finn was very suspicious of her, and she would have to do this tactfully.

Daria knocked on Finn's door. Knowing how Finn had been avoiding his mother, she called out her name after the knock.

"Enter." Finn stated. He was lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"What is it?" Finn asked. It was odd to Daria that Finn was not working out or anything like that. He usually could not keep still.

"Finn, you know about that project my class is doing for Mr. O'Neill?" Daria asked.

"Mack told me he was doing that." Finn replied. "What about it?"

"Jane and I had an idea for our project." Daria started. She knew she could butter Finn up with flattery: it didn't work on him, at least, not from her.

"We wanted to follow you around for a day or so." Daria replied.

"Why?" Finn arched an eyebrow.

"Because all I have to do is follow you, and you're right here." Daria told Finn just like he told his mother. He would believe she was being lazy.

"So you want you and your friend to follow me with a camera, filming my every move."

"No hidden camera in the bathroom, promise. That would already warp me."

"What do I get out of it?"

"Your image broadcast to every girl in my class."

"But I date many of the girls in your grade already."

"Not all of them." Daria stated. Finn seemed to mull that over in his head.

"Daria, is this a trick?"

"It's too obvious to be a trick." Daria returned. "Besides, doing this will mean you don't have to stick around here. You weren't at dinner tonight, but Mom said something about that infant formula case coming to a close. She'll be free on Saturday."

"She will?"

"And she's been asking about you all the time at dinner." Daria stated. Nothing that she said was a lie. Helen didn't mention anything about a mother-son bonding day, but Daria knew that Finn despised them. She understood why: Daria too despised the power-lunch style outings her mother pulled in a desperate show of parental affection. But Finn hated them vehemently, even more than she did. And Finn was furious with his mother for her behavior at Erin's wedding.

"There's a barbecue we'll be going to on Saturday afternoon. Mack's throwing it."

"We'd be out Saturday morning." Daria noted.

"You got a deal." Finn smiled.

"Perfect. I have to go call Jane now." Daria stood up to get back to her room. Once she was there, she smiled a wicked, knowing smile. This was going to make for quite a weekend.

* * *

Saturday could not come quickly enough to Daria. She made sure everything was prepared the previous night to complete her project: The tape was rewound, the batteries fully charged, an Daria even made sure she ate a fair amount of breakfast before getting started. The last thing that was going to get in the way of this project was hunger.

Jane arrived at the house around 9 AM. Although Daria knew the girl was not a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination, Daria had insisted on starting early. They would get everything they needed for the project, at the latest, by the time of Mack's barbecue. And then Jane would have all of Sunday to sleep.

"You owe me big for waking me up at 9 AM." Jane's eyes were bleary and tired looking.

"You get up earlier to go to school." Daria reminded.

"The keyword for that is school." Jane returned. "And the keyword in your earlier speech is AM. It's a sin to wake a Lane before lunch."

"Jane, you eat breakfast at 1 and lunch at 6."

"Isn't that what I said?" Jane cracked. "Now, where's our target?"

"He's still asleep. I thought he'd wake up before you, but I guess not. We might even be done earlier then we thought." Daria explained as she led Jane up the stairs to Finn's bedroom. Daria opened without knocking, to find Finn already awake.

"_Damn. So much for his bed head." _Daria thought. Finn's pride in his hair was legendary in Lawndale, and seeing him with a bad hair day would have been a perfect way to start the project. But no, Finn had already prepared his hair, and gotten dressed.

* * *

"Good morning." Finn addressed the camera pleasantly.

"We're not rolling yet." Daria lied, hoping to get Finn to pick his nose or something. Finn ignored her; perhaps he noted the blinking red light on the camera.

"What a wonderful day it is to share with all of you." Finn continued to speak into the camera, and Daria felt her stomach turn. He was acting infectiously sweet, a trademark of his that he used to twist people around his finger.

* * *

Their first stop of the day was at the high school, where Finn was meeting those three friends of his for a workout. Finn normally did all of his working out in his room, but occasionally, he went with his friends. Thanks to Ms. Li's fervent desire to keep the athletes in tip-top shape for the trophies they garnered, the workout room at school rivaled that of major gyms.

"Working out is one of my favorite things to do." Finn stated to the camera as he worked on a leg press. "There's no excuse to not be healthy."

"Says the man who eats about as much pizza as you do." Jane commented to Daria. After Finn finished the leg press, he and his friends went to the bench press.

"The bench press is pretty much a staple exercise, but, you know, a lot of people think that it's the only one there is. They just tone up their biceps and forget everything else, and that's not how it is at all. Every muscle in your body is important one way or another, and you shouldn't play favorites." Finn lectured the camera. Daria's felt her brain hemorrhage from his little speech.

"Joey, you're up first." Finn spotted all three of his friends as they did their routine. Throughout the entire thing, Finn said encouraging words to the three, encouraging them to put out three more reps.

"Football player and cheerleader. It's like Kevin and Brittany put together. As if I needed more nightmares." Daria commented quietly to Jane. Jane didn't listen to her, as she quietly filmed the project.

"_She's really getting into this." _Jane thought. Daria dismissed the thought a second later: Jane did mention to her that her Language Arts grade was lower than she would have liked, and this was the perfect way to build it up. It suited Jane's twin talents best: Art and sloth.

"Normally, we'd hit Pizza Palace after a good workout, but we're headed to a barbecue today at Mad Mack's. Sorry, I mean Michael MacKenzie, the captain of the football team. Having friends is one of the best things ever. I know it probably sounds really cheesy, but all these guys here like, totally the best, and it's always a good time with them."

"Hey, thanks dude!" The guys all clustered together in a big bear hug. Daria rolled her eyes.

"_God, Finn, you are an incredible actor." _Daria praised. "_But just you wait. You won't get away."_

_

* * *

_

Finn broke away from his guys, and he decided his next place was the mall.

"Cashman's Department Store. Hmmm, I really can't say something, like, poetic-like here, could I? I usually do all of my shopping by myself, because, you know, you'll never know when you see something that'll make a great gift, and the second you go with someone, you'll see it and blab it out and just ruin everything." Finn started to walk towards the men's department.

"If you want to discuss ruining everything, there's your birth. That was pretty ruinous." Daria stated as she followed Finn. Finn lead them to a counter, where a tall, college-aged sales associate with crew-cut blonde hair was typing something into the computer.

"Hey, Sean!" Finn called to him.

"Finn!" The man gave Finn a handshake. Finn turned back towards the camera.

"I'd like to introduce Sean Masters, perhaps the best sales guy here in the men's department, and maybe all of the mall." Finn delivered.

"What's with the camera?" Sean asked.

"Oh, it's a video project those two are doing. They follow me around for the day."

"Oh." Sean noted. He addressed the camera. "Finn is the most awesome guy ever. He's fashionable and always very friendly. He sends anyone looking to get something from here to me. Ever since he's come around, I've got the highest sales in the whole of the store. This guy's putting me through college!"

Finn chuckled at that.

"We first met about the time I moved here, and Sean was the only one who could help me pick out the right tie. I'm pretty sure everyone else that works here is just color-blind."

"Or senile." Sean teased, and the men shared a chuckle.

"So, Sean, how did you do on Thursday?"

"I did pretty good. CJ's a tough major, but it's rewarding." Sean spoke, then he turned to the camera. "Take a good look at me now, because soon you'll be addressing me as Detective!"

"Sean takes Criminal Justice in college, and he wants to be a homicide detective." Finn addressed the camera.

"My Mom's the best. My dream is to work a huge case alongside her." Sean stated.

"Alright, well, we need to be...hey, Tanya!" Finn called over.

"Finn!" A woman's voice returned. Daria looked over towards the voice to see a dark-skinned girl with curly hair come over to the two men.

"Hey, Tanya, how are you doing?" Finn addressed politely. The two conversed politely for a second.

"So, err...Finn, are you looking for anything in particular?" Tanya asked.

"Huh? No, not right now. I mean I did want this pair of combat boots. I mean, you know that my favorite pair of pants to wear is camo, and the boots I have, don't really do it for me. I mean they are a little too...well, they're a little too refined. Sometimes the rugged look is what's fashionable."

"You are so smart, Finn." Tanya gushed.

"I'd shop for them, but I'm about to go to a football barbecue, so I really don't have time to pick something out, and try them on, and all that important shoe stuff. And I actually really gotta get to that cause I agreed to help out."

"Well...err..." Tanya started.

"Tanya, have you met Sean?" Finn asked. "He's like, the best sales associate here. Oh my God, I gotta run, see you both later, bye!" Finn darted off.

"Ummm...Sean, was it?" Tanya started.

"Come with me, I'll help you out." Sean pleasantly led the girl to the shoe department.

* * *

"Please tell me you got that?" Daria asided to Jane, who found her looking at men's cologne.

"Why would any woman think this stuff smells good." Jane was talking as she filmed the display case.

"If you want to attract a woman, forget all those poppies and Egyptian sandalwood nonsense. Make it a combination of new car and bacon. Those are things real girls like." Jane talked to the cologne bottles. Daria might have laughed if she wasn't so angry that Jane missed that Finn-destroying gold.

Daria had never been to Mack's house before. The house itself was a pretty basic house, but he did have a nice large yard that bordered up to the woods. Made the entire place look like the Amercian Dream, whatever that was.

"Hey, Finn." Mack called as the two football players high-fived. "Daria?"

"We're filming Finn for O'Neill's video project." Daria informed. Mack nodded.

"Not like my dad needs an excuse to grill more burgers." Mack stated.

"I'm going to go help Mack get everything set up. Why don't you two take a break or something." Finn instructed his sister and Jane. "After all, what could be exciting about putting chips in a bowl." The two men walked off towards the house, probably to get the supplies. Daria and Jane took a seat at a picnic table and started to review the footage they had.

"Finn talking about muscles, Finn cheering his friends, Finn being nice to that sales guy. I gotta say, Daria, this does not look like an expose to me."

"If you filmed that whole boot con thing, we'd probably be finished."

"I don't know, Daria. Doesn't he already pull that stuff?" Jane asked.

"It's a very silent thing he pulls. I wonder if we should film a shot of the pile of gifts Finn hadn't even gotten to at home."

"Daria, I know this is your project, but don't you think you're trying a little too hard to make him look bad?" Jane stated.

"Huh?"

"I mean, I'm reviewing all of this footage we see, and Finn doesn't look like a monster. He looks like a normal guy with an unhealthy obsession with fashion."

"Normal guys watch the game, chug a few, then scratch for several hours." Daria noted.

"Wow, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were turning into Barch." Jane stated.

"Alright, that was unfair. But this is Finn were talking about. Finn. You know Finn."

"No, I don't, Daria." Jane pointed out. "I've only passed him in the hall on my way to your room. Everything I know about him is what you told me."

"Are you defending him?" Daria cocked an eyebrow.

"No, Daria. Finn's pretty shallow, and he's definitely a slick con artist. But he's also halfway decent guy who basically very helpful and tries to make people feel good about themselves." Jane stated. Daria didn't reply, she just reviewed the footage again.

"_Finn must be aware I'm trying to use him. No wonder he was so eager to do this project. He thinks he can outwit me. No way, Finn. You are not the smart one here. I am." _

_

* * *

_

The barbecue started around 2. Daria took a burger while Jane continued to film Finn. There were many people at this party, even the Fashion Club, girls that followed Finn around and always criticized Daria's outfit.

"_You'd think, after 20 times telling me about it, they'd stop trying. I mean, even animals don't come near fire. Then again, I think animals have higher brain function over these girls." _Daria thought. Finn smiled and chatted, saying fake nice things to everyone. Someone soon said "play ball" and all of the guys broke off. Daria came close to the guys.

"It's mostly our two grades." Finn stated. "How about freshmen and juniors, sophomores and seniors?"

"Sounds good." Mack stated. The guys started to divide by this rule, then Finn and Mack counted to make sure all teams were even, and a few players were switched around until they had equal teams.

"That tree over there is the endzone, we'll just switch sides when offense and defense changes." Mack instructed.

"Works for me." Finn stated. "We'll be skins so no one gets confused."

"Cool." Mack stated. "Bring back a quarter so we can do a coin toss." Mack instructed. All of the members of Finn's team started pulling off their shirts, and they handed them to Finn, their de-facto captain. He cleared off the picnic table, dropped off the shirts, and then brought back a quarter so the game could begin.

"I'm not sure there's much to film here." Daria stated to Jane, who was still filming Finn. She had a large smile on her face, and Daria knew exactly what she was talking about. If Jane had one weakness, it was boys. Particcularly buff, shirtless ones.

"Give me that." Daria took the camera and shut it off to save the battery. She needed to wait until the break.

* * *

The game continued for about an hour, and it was clear to Daria that Finn's team was winning. She hoped this would be the case; Finn got so cocky when he did well. All of the girls watching were cheering for him. When the guys broke off for a break, Finn walked over to his table to get a soda.

"Finn, you're doing so wonderful!" A girl with pigtails, one of the Fashion Club girls, handed him a towel and a cup of water.

"Thanks, Stacy." Finn toweled the sweat off his chest.

"Finn, that was very well done. Would you like a Gatorade?" Another of the Fashion Club, a girl with long brown hair, joined the two.

"Ummm, Sandi, I already got Finn some water." Stacy stated nervously.

"Gee, Stacy, I wasn't aware that Finn had your name tattooed on him. I can't be nice to him?"

"Ummm...Sandi, I didn't mean to..." Stacy fidgeted.

"I think at our next Fashion Club meeting, we will need to address proper etiquette and manners. Between this horrid greedy display, and that absolutely hideous skirt you are wearing, I think I'm going to have to suspend you for 24 hours so you can review your style."

"But Sandi, you said the weather was perfect for..." Stacy started.

"Stacy!" Sandi glared at her, and the girl started to whimper and cry.

"I do sincerely apologize, Finn, for her absolute lack of manners. I will get you a Gatorade." Sandi left.

"Errr,,,Stacy." Finn started once the two were alone. Daria immediately shut the camera on.

"I'm so sorry, Finn!" Stacy exclaimed. "I'm such a horrible, greedy person!"

"Uhhh..." Finn's mouth contorted in unease, and Daria wondered what was going to happen next. He normally did not look so confused.

"Stacy." Finn started, Daria could swear his voice raised a whole octave in nervousness. He cleared his throat and returned to his normal pitch.

"I...err...I think you look lovely today. That blouse really compliments the dark tones of your hair." Finn delivered. Daria wondered if this was going to be another sappy fake speech of his. Which gifts from home were from Stacy? Probably not as many as Finn would like.

"Really?" Stacy stopped whimpering and wiped the tears from her eye.

"Err...yeah. And t hat skirt does compliment your attire well. You look really good in light colored tops. It works well with a dark bottom. Makes you look professional."

"Light on the top, dark on the bottom..." Stacy started, looking down at her body. "Oh my god, Ohmigod! My hips are fat! Oh, I'm such a cow. Why did I eat the bun with that, oh god!" Stacy started wailing again and ran away.

Finn stood in quiet silence for a minute, seemingly reliving that conversation in his mind.

"Crap!" Finn punched the wall of the house in frustration. The wall was solid brick, so all Finn accomplished was hurting his hand.

"Agh!" He waved it in pain, and turned away from the wall. Then he noticed Daria was filming.

"Daria, what are you...you're filming, aren't you?" Finn glared at her. "I can't believe it, what the hell is wrong with you! Turn that camera off, Daria, tape over what you just saw! Stop the tape, Daria, Jesus!" Finn yelled and ranted.

"Give me that!" Finn reached for the camera, and the video finder went to static. But it was too late. Daria had what she needed. Finn made a girl cry, and then he freaked out.

If only that lasted the required three minutes.

* * *

Daria and Jane sat in the living room, reviewing all the footage of their day with Finn. Jane was silent as the footage went through, while Daria scribbled a makeshift storyboard.

Daria knew that Jane was a little peeved at her, but for the life of her, she couldn't understand why. According to Jane, Finn was not a bad person, but this was impossible. The footage here, and what Daria knew about her brother, spoke volumes to the contrary. Perhaps Jane simply didn't know him well enough to know, or was distracted by his looks. She always did make eyes at men at Pizza Palace.

"This is pretty easy." Daria stated. She had already laid out her storyboard.

"I just hope we get a good grade." Jane stated. "I need one."

"How is the project coming, girls?" Helen's voice sounded from the kitchen.

"How's the case?" Daria asked her mother.

"The bastards aren't going down without a fight." Helen asided to herself. "But that's for another time. Might I sneak a peek?"

"We're just looking at raw footage right now." Daria informed. Jane had the remote, so she rewound it and played a little of it for Helen. In particular, the part where Stacy was crying at Mack's party, and Finn's subsequent freak out.

"Oh my." Helen seemed astounded by her son's behavior, though Daria knew it wasn't because of shock. She knew just how callous Finn could be.

"This seems a little harsh." Helen stated.

"I did exactly what I set out to accomplish: I only filmed what the camera picked up." Daria noted. She could feel Jane glare at her.

"You don't think that's taken out of context? To me, it seems like Finn tried to cheer that girl up and said the wrong thing."

"That isn't possible." Daria returned. "Finn's life is making girls feel insecure, and the only way they can feel secure is to get his attention with things. Didn't you see the package I brought in from the doorstep? That came from a girl Finn met at Cashman's today, where he encouraged her to buy him new boots. Doesn't that package look like a shoe box?" Helen paused.

"You know, Daria, I would never let Finn make a movie that makes you look bad." Helen stated.

"He doesn't need to make a movie. He does that just fine by existing."

"Daria." Helen seemed shocked. "I'm surprised at you. Someone's existence shouldn't bother you."

"It's not his existence, it's what he does while he exists. You've heard everything he says."

"And from what I hear, you aren't exactly innocent yourself." Helen cautioned.

"I treat him like he treats me. It's what I believe in."

"Daria, you do what makes you happy." Helen stated. "But there's a difference between a cheap thrill and genuine satisfaction. Just remember that." And with that, Helen left to go up the stairs.

* * *

"Wow, I would never have expected that from her?" Jane remarked.

"The defending Finn part, or the happiness part?" Daria asked. There was a quiet silence as Jane realized the question was not rhetorical.

"The happiness part. Woulda figured she'd be more about accomplishing things the quick and thorough way. That's what she does, doesn't she."

"She's a corporate lawyer." Daria returned, giving the best answer she could. She rewound the footage from the beginning.

* * *

"Oh, hey, is that the footage from today?" Finn's voice sounded as he descended the stairs.

"No peeking." Daria said to him in a serious matter. "Creative freedom and all."

"I'm not gonna watch. I just wanted to ask you about, y'know, Stacy."

"Stacy?" Daria asked. She remembered the name: that was the girl that was crying.

"I hope you're not going to put her crying in that movie. That would devastate her."

"Of course, because that's what matters." Daria noted sarcastically. There was no way in hell Finn cared about that girl. He didn't care about other people.

"Sure it does. I mean, if everyone at school sees her crying, they'll make fun of her, and they might kick her out of the Fashion Club."

"That other girl is in the Fashion Club, isn't she?" Daria noted.

"Who, Sandi?" Finn asked.

"The one that insulted her too." Daria added the last word to remind Finn of his crimes.

"Yeah."

"If so, then I'd be doing her a favor."

"But that's how Stacy got as popular as she is now. Destroy that and you'll wreck her!" Finn's voice was a desperate plea, and even Daria found herself puzzled by his demand.

"Well, those insults that Sandi told her don't fit in the context. I won't put those in." Daria cleverly worded her phrasing to trick her brother. It worked like a charm dozens of times on the simpleton.

* * *

And it worked again now.

"Good." Finn breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm sure you have all that weird magic editing stuff to do with the movie."

"Yes we do." Daria noted.

"I hope I can see it."

"After it's finished, you can see it."

"Good. I just, y'know, hope I don't look real silly or anything."

"_Not the word I'd use to describe it. Monstrous is more like it." _Daria thought.

"We've still got a lot of editing to do." Jane remarked.

"Yeah. I just, y'know, sometimes I wonder if maybe I shouldn't be so concerned about looking good and being noticed and all that. I mean, I think about that all the time, like oh my god, Finn, you're only about your looks and your sports. Can't you do anything that y'know, means something?"

"Of course it does." Daria replied apathetically.

"_Because that requires both intelligence and the morals to use it well. Things foreign to you." _Daria thought.

"I'm serious! I mean, sometimes I think, maybe, what if I wasn't who I was, and maybe I wasn't handsome or coordinated and maybe I was a brain or played in a band or had some other special talent, cause we all have something we're good at. But then I just think, wouldn't you just be whining that you aren't handsome and coordinated and everyone else gets all the girls and they don't have depth at all. It's just one of those vicious things like that snake that eats it's own tail. It's just what I can do well. Sorry, I kept you. I'm going now. Later." Finn exited out the front door. Both Daria and Jane sat silently for a moment.

* * *

"He certainly wasted our time." Daria noted.

"I don't know, Daria." Jane replied.

"You're still thinking that?" Daria was a bit cross.

"Look, Daria, I don't know Finn as well as you do, and what I do know, you already know. I'm sure you have your reasons why you don't like him and they're probably pretty justified. We can turn Finn into a cruel heartless monster who eats up girl after girl and spits them out like someone with tuberclosis goes through tissues. But honestly, I'm not sure if we did that, we'd be making an expose. We'd be making slander."

"If something is proven, it isn't slander." Daria reminded. "And why are you defending him?"

"I'm not. I'm your friend, and my Language Arts grade needs the A working with you on a project can give. If you want to put him through the ringer, go ahead. I won't stop you. But don't you think that, just maybe, it's not a matter of simply good and simply evil?"

"Of course it's not that simple." Daria protested.

"So what is it? Why are you so deadset on making Finn look bad?"

"Because that's who he is."

"Is it?" Jane asked. "You told me we were going to show the world the true face of Finn Morgendorffer. All I saw on the camera was a guy break down and get upset when the girl he tried to compliment took it the wrong way."

"That's not who he is. He's a shallow, greedy womanizer."

"So what was with all the guys he encouraged, or that girl he tried to make feel better?" Jane asked. "Come on, Daria, what's really going on?" Daria looked down at the ground.

"Ever since I can remember, Finn's gone out of his way to make me miserable. He put spiders in my shoes, laughed at me when I fell at a dance recital, and he never felt bad about it. He doesn't feel bad about anything he does. Someone else has to do that. I'm in the best position."

"Daria, I think I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow." Jane stood up to get moving and walked out the door without even looking back.

* * *

Daria was a little surprised that Jane had snapped at her, although, in retrospect, Daria understood why. Jane did not know Finn like Daria did. Jane had never seen just who Finn was. She couldn't be blamed.

Daria rewound the tape and watched Finn make Stacy cry again. That was Finn. Finn the cruel, Finn the heartless. He only cared for profit and manipulation. This was some elaborate plot he was setting. He wanted more to gain from either Stacy, or maybe someone else. Finn would pull a complex scheme like that: They were his specialty.

So focused was Daria on her thoughts, that she forgot to push pause, and the tape showed the time when Finn punched the wall.

"_At least all that cruelty is masked by all that stupidity. You won't do much harm, Finn." _Daria thought. She rewound the tape a little so she could watch the stupid action again and get a cheap chuckle. She set the time to just after that girl ran away crying, and she concentrated on Finn's face.

The man in the video seemed disappointed. And sad. Finn didn't have the normal commanding voice and high posture that he normally did. His voice had gotten so high when he talked to Stacy the first time, and now, when the girl cried, Finn did not look pleased.

Daria paused the camera, and looked at him closer. He was upset by what had happened. Completely and totally hurt. Daria replayed the words the two exchanged, and tried to think of how Finn could use that to his advantage, but he couldn't. Finn would not encourage a girl's wardrobe: it wouldn't matter to him.

So there was no other explanation. Finn clearly meant for the complement to be genuine; he wanted that girl to feel good about her outfit. And, when she took it not as intended, Finn was heartbroken. He felt bad because she felt bad.

"_Real human feeling?" _Daria wondered. This wasn't some ploy. Daria replayed the raw footage in it's entirety, and saw Finn's pathetic eagerness as he praised his friend Sean. She witnessed again how he encouraged his friends to work harder. It was so hard to believe, but Finn was actually being sincere. The shallow womanizer was still there, but so was this other Finn, a supportive and considerate creature.

"_It's like he has split-personality disorder. Wonder what meds will give me the other Finn." _Daria thought. And that's when Jane's words finally sunk in. Finn was both of them, and, just as the Finn out in the world wasn't the one Daria knew, the one Daria knew wasn't the one out in the world.

"_It can't be me." _Daria thought. "_It...it can't be." _And Daria almost convinced herself it was true.

* * *

Jane came over Sunday afternoon to see the project. Daria had finished the entire project. To her surprise, the tearful Stacy was nowhere to be seen.

"What happened to the big finish?" Jane asked. "Did your conscience get to you?"

"It tried to, but I caught that with a bear trap and a tray of frozen lasagna." Daria quipped. Jane looked at her quizzically.

"Yeah, it got to me. I guess there is more to the surface Finn than I thought."

"You know, I really wasn't mad at you or anything." Jane stated. "I'm sure we can make that expose if you want."

"No. There will be other times to expose Finn. And really, they'd just love him more anyway." Daria sighed. Truly, making a video like the one she had planned would have just served to alienate her more from Lawndale. People might even throw things at her in the halls, all from jealous girls trying to impress Finn by hurting the person who said bad things about him. And then they would get the next greatest gift when that didn't work.

But this video, although not a love letter or anything, just showed what Finn did all day. The working out, the shopping, the barbecue. Daria did not attempt to villify him, nor did she try to praise him. Her video just showed exactly what she intended to show: A day in the life of Finn. She would let the audience judge it for themselves. If they hated Finn, they hated Finn. If they loved him, that was it's own punishment.

And then Daria pondered over her mother's words, and wondered, way down the road, if she discovered this old tape in a box somewhere, would she feel good about not using it to demonize her brother. Time would tell.


	13. Desperate Teenage Boys

Mr. O'Neill's study hall was not the best study hall in school. Unlike his English class, which had a set lecture, here he often spoke to his students, doing what he called "bonding" or "exploring sensitive souls" or whatever the hell it was he did. Finn sighed as he tried his best to occupy his time with anything that wasn't the teacher. He'd play cards with his friends, or they'd discuss the game coming on during the weekend, or, at the very least, there was schoolwork. There wasn't a teacher more aggravating than Mr. O'Neill, except for maybe Barch.

Finn sighed. This weekend was looking to be uneventful, and, if his mother's case was ending, she might get the brilliant idea to do one of those power hour parental bonding things she was known to do. Finn did his best to get out of those: His buddies, or the Fashion Club, or someone, could make time for him. But all of his friends were taking it easy this weekend, and now Finn was a little nervous.

* * *

The bell rang, and Finn started to head to his next class, wondering if, just maybe, he could get away scheduling three dates back to back. That might work if he put everyone in the right place.

"Finn, might I ask you to stay a minute?" Mr. O'Neill asked.

"I guess." Finn shrugged. "You'll write me a pass."

"Of course. Finn, I wanted to ask you a favor." The teacher stated. Finn was happy that the teacher wasn't talking about sensitivity or that bullcrap.

"What is it?" Finn asked.

"Finn, you know that I teach a self-esteem course after school in order to help troubled teens feel good about themselves, right?" Mr. O'Neill asked.

"_What teen could get inspired by you?" _Finn thought to himself.

"I've heard that." Finn stated. "Sorry, but I have plenty of self-esteem."

"I didn't mean to imply otherwise, I'm so sorry." The teacher sappily replied, and Finn groaned to himself.

"Anyway, isn't that course over?"

"We do it in the fall and also in spring." Mr. O'Neill informed. "Anyway, we're coming up to the lecture where we separately the boys and the girls and talk to them individually about, well...issues that come up for teenage boys."

"You mean nocturnal emissions?" Finn stated. Although saying that made Finn cringe a little on the inside, Mr. O'Neill shuddered out loud for the both of them.

"It's not just that." Mr. O'Neill stated. "It's not just about puberty. There's also a discussion about body image, where we teach the kids that they don't have to feel the need to be just big buff guys, that no matter if your muscular or thin, it doesn't make you less of a man."

"_Sure, I get it. But please tell me you don't teach that course. I could barely see you stomach the word erection." _Finn thought to himself.

"What does that have to do with me?" Finn asked.

"I was getting to that. Normally we hire a counselor to come in for the group, but, well, this person, he's not...he's not allowed to come within 200 feet of a school anymore after a certain...incident." Mr. O'Neill stuttered, and Finn shuddered as he put two and two together.

"So find another counselor. How hard could it be?"

"Well, I've been looking, but it's hard to book someone like that for next week." Mr. O'Neill stated. "And the boys wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a female counselor about that. So I thought I'd have to run it myself, but I also want someone that the students can relate to. And that's why I'm asking you."

"Wouldn't most of the kids in that class be older than me? Why would they listen to me?" Finn asked.

"Finn, you're a celebrity at this school. Everyone knows who you are. Champion Lawndale center, and captain of the school boxing team, and I saw you at last week's baseball game. Marvelously done."

"Well, I am pretty good at getting those pop-flys, but I think you're asking the wrong person." Finn stated. He would have told the teacher the truth, that he himself was not comfortable talking about things of a sexual nature, at least, not to people who had issues like that, but he worried that O'Neill might think Finn might have self-esteem issues of his own, and ask Finn to take the course. That would be a death sentence to popularity.

"I'll pass, thanks." Finn darted off without another word.

* * *

"Grove Hills, that's just fantastic." Finn walked in the house to see his father talking to Daria as he pulled the plate of lasagna out of the oven.

"What about Grove Hills?" Finn asked as he took his seat at the table. Finn knew the name of the school: It was some prep school where they sent a bunch of geeks to be caged like the beasts they were. Finn tried to hide his enthusiasm.

"Daria's been invited to tour the campus." His mother explained.

"Oh." Finn played it cool. If Daria went to school there, she'd be living in the dorms there. She'd no longer be at Lawndale High, or in the house. He'd be free of her influence once and for all.

But he couldn't say that out loud. Helen would just yell at him, and Daria would refuse to go, simply to torture Finn.

"Oh, I don't have to go, do I?" Finn stated.

"I asked that very same question." Daria added.

"Daria, this is important. Grove Hills can really jumpstart your career. Many of their graduates go on to top Ivy League universities, and then do very well professionally." Helen praised.

"Assuming they don't burn out and take revenge at the clock tower with a rifle."

"Daria, I'll pay you thirty." Helen returned.

"A hundred." Daria countered.

"Fifty."

"Done." Daria agreed. Helen reached for her purse.

"Don't I get a bribe?" Finn asked.

"For what?" Daria stated. "You're not invited anyway."

"Well, then can't I have some money so I won't starve while you guys are gone for the day?"

"Fine, here's twenty. That's enough for a pizza." Helen stated.

"Great. And don't worry about the house. I'll take great care of it."

"Just like you took care of it last time everyone went out. That was some keg party." Daria returned.

"Hey, the guys were nice enough to offer you a drink, you just locked yourself in your room. And anyway, that isn't half as good as the keggers..." Finn started to talk, but then he noticed Helen glaring at him.

"_You suck, Daria!" _Finn moaned. Perhaps she had to get her last random acts of destruction in before she left.

"Anyway, I don't really like the idea of you staying at home anyway." Helen delivered.

"Why? I can take care of myself. Isn't that the reason you taught me to fight, Dad?" Finn turned to Jake.

"Well..." Jake started. "I...listen to your mother, son." Finn stated.

"Why don't you stay over at one of your friends's houses?" Helen stated.

"Why can't I just invite them here?" Finn asked. "It'll be a big boys' night."

"Finn, your last boy's night got you grounded when you came back completely sloshed." Helen reminded.

"Hey, Jamie didn't drink, and he drove us home. At my insistence. Come on, we're not going to cause an accident."

"And that's why you were only grounded for two weeks instead of for eternity." Helen delivered.

"Fine." Finn sighed. "I guess I can call Joey." Finn got up from the table to make the call. This trip might end up being the best thing ever. What was losing a weekend with no parents if it meant Daria was far away forever?

* * *

Joey agreed to having Finn stay over.

"We never really go over to each other's houses." He stated. "Might be fun." Finn smiled at that. He wondered if maybe, he could throw a party anyway while the parents were out, but decided against it eventually. It wasn't worth the risk.

"_And besides." _Finn thought. "_I think I'll enjoy a night at the Nelson's. This is what friends do, after all. Stay over at each other's." _

Finn realized as he prepared his sleeping bag that he never invited his friends to stay over at the Morgendorffer house, although Finn immediately knew the reason why. Although they'd probably get along with his dad, the two Morgendorffer women would probably ruin things for the guests.

"_And besides, how tacky to serve frozen lasagna." _Finn thought as he made his way to Joey's.

"Yo." Joey smiled as he greeted Finn at the door. Finn dropped his things off, and Joey gave Finn a tour of the house. The only other person in the house was Joey's mother. Mrs. Nelson was a very quiet woman, who smiled when Joey and Finn came in, but said no words.

Finn didn't press it. All people were different.

After the two ordered a pizza for lunch, they conversed upstairs. There wasn't much going on for the guys to go out, so they just decided to bull around for a bit. Things continued quietly until Finn heard the sound of tires squealing, and a car pulled into the Nelson driveway.

"What the hell." Joey groaned as he looked out the window. "Why now?"

"Something wrong, dude?"

"My stepdad's here." Joey groaned. "And..." He continued to look out the window. Finn looked out as well to see a man step out of the car. He stumbled around haphazardly towards the door. And then, Finn noticed the absolutely awful park job the man had done, and thought he knew what the problem was.

"He's completely hammered, and it's two in the afternoon."

"Bastard's had a late night." Joey chuckled to himself.

"Huh?" Finn looked at his buddy.

"Dude, don't take this the wrong way, but you should probably go." Joey stated. Finn was about to protest, but he saw the seriousness in Joey's eyes. What it was, Finn had no idea, but there was no way he was willing to stick around and find out. Joey meant business.

"I'll just...climb out the roof." Finn stated. "I can probably stay over at Jeffy's."

"Thanks, dude. And hey, I'm sorry." Joey was genuinely apologetic.

"Not your fault." Finn smiled as he gathered his things.

* * *

As Finn descended the roof and landed on the ground, he started to hear the sound of arguing between a man and a woman. It wasn't Joey's voice, so it must have been the mom and stepdad.

"_Man, that woman can not only talk, she can yell. And she swears worse than I do." _Finn was amazed, but also found himself feeling sorry for Joey. He had to put up with that.

Finn wondered if, maybe, he should have brought Joey with him. But Joey would have accompanied him if that was the case. The arguing inside was very violent, and Finn found himself wondering if that was why Joey fought all the time. It didn't seem like there were any fists being thrown, but Finn knew that arguments could easily turn violent quickly.

Finn prayed it wasn't the case.

* * *

"Yo, dude, how's it going." Jeffy was eager to see Finn.

"It's a long story. Mind if I stay here tonight?" Finn replied. "I'll even pay for food."

"Hey, dude, don't worry about it." Jeffy smiled and warmly invited Finn in.

"Thanks." Finn stated. Jeffy's family had a really nice house, but the front mantel was dominated by a very large painting. It was almost a baseball card blown up, for it was a black-and-white photo of a young woman, dressed in a uniform and holding a bat.

"Jeffy, who was at the door?" A woman's voice came from somewhere in the house. The voice's owner walked into the room and saw the newcomer in her midst.

"Jeffy, you never mentioned us having a guest. And here I am, looking a fright." The woman was dressed much like the traditional soccer mom, with her hair pulled back. She seemed quite athletic, and it made Finn a little jealous. Jeffy had a mom who actually seemed interested in sports.

"Wait, I know you. You're Finn, aren't you. Center field?"

"That's me. You go to the baseball games. I take it you're a fan." Finn gestured towards the large picture.

"I'd hope so. That was my mother." The woman smiled.

"Oh?"

"She was in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League back during World War II."

"My grandma Millie." Jeffy elaborated. "And my dad played minor league ball until he got injured. He's not here anymore, Dad's divorced."

"Jeffy, must you bring up the depressing parts?" The woman chastised.

"Well, he doesn't, Mom." The two argued for a bit.

"Jeffy, you're arguing in front of our guest. Come on in, Finn. Let me get you a drink." The woman walked into the kitchen.

"Well, she seems nice."

"Just wait." Jeffy spat out bitterly, causing Finn's eyes to widen. What could be so bad about this woman?

* * *

Finn dropped his things in the living room and went back to the kitchen with Jeffy.

"Here you are, boys." The mother had poured two glasses of lemonade. Finn eagerly drank it down.

"So, Finn, you and my Jeffy are on the baseball team together?"

"And football." Finn agreed.

"She doesn't care about that. You saw the picture. She's a baseball woman." Jeffy commented.

"Jeffy!" His mother stated.

"Mrs. Mercer... Finn started.

"Actually, that's my ex-husband's last name. You can just call me Sheila. Or Ms. Jansen, if you must be formal. Besides, Jansen makes the enlightened think of Mother. Millie Jansen, such a star!" The woman was reverent in talking about her mother.

"Yeah, Grandma Millie sure was great." Jeffy spoke with kindness, but not the reverence of his mother.

"Well, your friend is a great player too. Perhaps we can hit a few pop-flies afterwards. Jeffy, you really need to improve that aspect of your game if you're going to get recruited to college."

"I'm more likely to be recruited for my football talents than baseball anyway." Jeffy returned.

"Football?" Sheila seemed shocked. "Such a crude sport. Jeffy has such amazing talent at baseball, but since he also plays that sport too, his focus is off. You must truly be a marvel, Finn. You do football and you box, and you still are a champion fielder."

"Well, I still need some work on my batting. I'm better in the field than I am on the plate."

"It's still better than Jeffy. Did you see the way he played last game. I'm surprised Lawndale managed to pull things out."

"Err...Finn, why don't we get your things upstairs." Jeffy dragged Finn from the room.

* * *

"Wow, I can see what you mean." Finn stated once the two boys were alone. That woman was clearly obsessed with that sport, and fussed over Jeffy like one of those cuckoo stage mothers.

"Hey, dude, I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't mean to."

"I know. Look, dude, I'm not blaming you or anything. She's like that with everyone. But...err...I think you should go."

"Hey, man, I didn't..." Finn started.

"I know. Still." Jeffy returned. Finn sighed as he gathered his things and quickly left the Mercer residence.

* * *

It was almost dark out by the time Finn made it to Jamie's house.

"Hey, dude, I am so sorry springing this late notice, but, well...I'll tell you later, can I sleep here tonight?" Finn asked.

"Ummm...I guess." Jamie invited Finn in. Finn moved his way into the house.

"Well, errr...what is going on tonight?" Finn asked.

"Not much. I think my father's about to get home." Jamie stated. Sure enough, the front door opened, and in stepped Mr. White, along with a woman Finn didn't recognize. It wasn't Jamie's mother: Finn knew what Jamie's mother looked like.

"Oh, Jamie. You have a friend over. Well, we're turning in." The man had an arm around the woman as they led each other upstairs. From their stumbling, Finn gathered they had been drinking a little.

"Who was that woman?" Finn asked.

"I don't know." Jamie stated.

"It wasn't your mom." Finn started. He had just seen Mrs. White three days ago. There was no way she disappeared or got divorced or anything. If there was, there would have been talk about it at school.

"So...errr..."

"My dad brings home random women and sleeps with them." Jamie stated.

"Oh." Finn was aghast at this behavior. "What about your mom?"

"She sleeps with other men all the time. They were at a key party."

"What's that?"

"It's where all the men put their keys in a jar, and the women pick them out. Whoever key they get, they go home with that guy and sleep with them."

"That's sick!" Finn stated.

"They've been doing that since I was a kid. We should probably head into my room before you start hearing the sounds of..."

"Actually, I should probably jet." Finn stated. "I...err...I'm sorry." And without another word, Finn grabbed his things and left.

It was only after he walked away from the White house that he realized he had no place to sleep.

* * *

Finn walked down the road quietly, completely weirded out by all of the strange occurrences that happened today. He had gone to all three of his best friends's houses to stay the night, and found himself leaving within a few hours at each of them.

"_And I thought I had it bad." _Finn thought. With Joey's drunk and who knew how much worse stepdad, Jeffy's crazy obsessive mother, and Jamie's just plain gross parents, Finn started to think about how each of his three friends acted, and saw how it reflected in their home lives. Joey was rather violent and prone to fighting, which could be expected from his father. Jeffy was overly competitive and tried to prove he was the best at everything; with a mother like that, Finn could not be surprised. And Jamie was obsessed with girls, which was understandable, considering his father slept with everything that moved.

Finn felt a little sad. Each of the three, in their own way, was, at best, humiliated by their parents, and Finn didn't like that happening to his friends. It shouldn't have been that way; they were great friends who had hearts of gold and they deserved to have great parents and girls falling over them.

* * *

But Finn soon found himself with his own pressing concerns. He had no place to stay for the night now. His father would flip if he found out he stayed the night at a girl's house. There was no way in hell he'd endure Tiffany for longer than a few minutes, while Stacy would probably get so nervous having him around in such close quarters, and Finn didn't trust himself to shut his eyes around Sandi. He might wake up covered in blood, or worse, with his boxers around his ankles.

"_What am I going to do?" _Finn thought. He was headed back towards the house to look at his Rolodex. He knew that he could probably stay home by himself, but that house was kind of creepy when no one else was around. Every creak and shudder of the place was enough to make Finn go into a panic attack.

"_God, when did I become such a wimp?" _Finn wondered. He never liked being alone, not ever. Things were so scary when they had to be done all by himself.

* * *

As Finn walked down the road, he passed by Jane's house. Finn had never been there before, but when Daria walked to and from school with her, that place was where Jane stopped. There was a car in the driveway; lights were on in the house.

Finn didn't know what he was thinking as he walked up to Jane's driveway. He didn't talk to the woman much, but she did make a nice project about him, even when she worked with Daria, who would have certainly have gone out of her way to make him look bad.

Finn rang the doorbell. There was a shuffling from the other side, and the door opened to reveal Jane. She was holding a paintbrush in her hands and there was quite a bit of paint on her clothes.

"Finn?" Jane seemed surprised.

"Errr...hi. Can I...use your bathroom?" Finn asked politely.

"What's wrong with the bathroom at your house. Did that mean old door shut you out again. You turn the knob..."

"I know how the bathroom works. Can I stay over for the night?"

"Well, you certainly are forward."

"Jane!" Finn insisted. "I'm not asking for... that. It's just...no one's home, and I'm not supposed to stay there by myself."

"I won't tattle. I'll even help you set up for the party. Just don't kick me out once it starts. I like a good kegger every once in a while."

"It's too late to throw a party like that. And besides, they're still giving me grief the last time I went to a party. I mean, come on, I made sure the driver stayed sober."

"So you can't throw a party. Just invite those three football guys you hang out with over and make it a wild boy's night. See who can throw the furthest, tackle the hardest, or, if you want to drop all the pretense, just get a ruler and find out who's the biggest once and for all."

"I was just over there, and well, things turned out...different." Finn wasn't about to tell this woman the bad home life of his best friends. Even though they kicked him out, the guys were apologetic about it: and Finn knew once the next party or boys' night came around, they would apologize the same way they always did: Bringing the alcohol and not asking Finn to chip in for it. And then it would be forgotten.

"What are you...are you afraid to be home alone?"

"No!" Finn protested.

"You are." Jane gained a wide smile.

"Alright, fine. That house is creepy when it's dark and no one's around. If I go back there, I'll be up all night huddling in a corner holding a hockey stick and a cross. Please?"

"All right, fine. I can't resist a damsel in distress." Jane replied, letting Finn in.

"Thanks!" Finn went into the house. He was taken aback by all of the decor.

"It's really...quiet in here."

"Well, the only other person here is Trent, and he's probably asleep. I think."

"Trent?"

"Oh, my older brother. One of them."

"You have more?"

"There's five of us Lanes, none of them live here besides Trent and me." Jane stated. "Well, my parents live here too, I guess. But they're not around."

"Oh, are they out for the weekend?" Finn engaged pleasantly.

"Out for the next few months." Jane elaborated. "Dad's in Madagascar, sketching the limestone formations. And I think Mom is painting in Norway. The polar twilight, she called it. They won't be back until at least summer."

"Your parents just let you do whatever you want while they go to do stuff like that."

"That's pretty much the long and short of it."

"That's...cool." Finn smiled.

"Huh?"

"You don't have any parents around yelling at you, setting curfews, telling you you're not good enough. Your mom must be so cool."

"I wouldn't really know." Jane stated in a blunt manner. "I don't see her very much." There was an awkward silence between the two of them. Jane led Finn upstairs to her room where she returned to her painting.

"Errr...where should I sleep? On the floor."

"It's seven, you're tired?" Jane stated.

"No, I just wanted to just make sure I knew what I was doing."

"Well, I'll stick you in Penny's room." Jane stated. "Wind might show up and ask you for marital advice if I stick you in his."

"Huh? But I'm fourteen. I've never been married."

"Wind would ask a cannibalistic ogre for relationship advice."

"Ms. Barch?" Finn asked. Both he and Jane shared a chuckle.

"_That would be explosive." _Jane thought to herself. "Anyway, I heard rustling in Summer's room, so it might be one of her children ran away from home again. So, that leaves Penny. She won't show up. From what I understand, Nicaragua isn't exactly known for it's red-eye flights to Lawndale."

"She's where?"

"She does crafts in third-world countries, and she's in Nicaragua. I think that's where she was. But the last time I heard from her was about four years ago, so that might have changed. I think she was talking about Costa Rica the last time."

Finn looked at Jane strangely. Truly, families came in all shapes and sizes. His buddies's families had strange relationships with their parents, and now, here was Jane, who didn't seem to have one at all. On one hand, Finn envied her. Helen's level of parenting seemed to match the Lane's, insomuch that she spent so much time doing her lawyer things that she never spent time with the family. Of course, she tried to make up for it by having super-involved power-lunch type things; which Finn despised with a passion. An entire week of not exchanging any words was not fixed by probing questions over a panini, questions she'd forget by dinnertime.

And of course, the other embarrassments, like her behavior at Erin's wedding. Finn was still seething at his mother for that, and the fact that she didn't even make the slightest bit of effort to apologize for fighting with Rita over him like that made him even angrier.

But on the other hand, Finn loved his relationship with his father. Finn hated it when his father left for a marketing conference or something that had him gone for three days. Not seeing him for months would be horrible.

"Finn? You're staring." Jane stated. Finn shook his head.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

* * *

Jane continued to paint, but turned on the TV so that Finn could watch. Finn watched a little bit, but he did not find _Sick, Sad World_ very interesting. But Jane seemed to like it, and Finn wasn't about to request that she change it. He was a guest; he knew the rules how to behave in someone's house. Besides, if she threw him out, where would he go then?

"Hey, Janey, hey Daria." A male voice sounded from the doorway. From the hallway stepped a scraggly man, older than Finn, maybe he went to high school a few years ago. He was reading a piece of paper, what appeared to be haphazardly written squiggles that might have passed for writing.

"I wanted to ask you about some lyrics I wrote." He looked up from the paper.

"Whoa!" The man's eyes widened. "Ummm...Daria turned into a guy."

"I'm not Daria!" Finn protested.

"Oh yeah. I guess that can't happen." The man replied.

"Well, there are operations and hormone therapy. Trent, this is Finn, Daria's kid brother. Finn, that's Trent, my younger older brother."

"The one that won't ask me for relationship advice?" Finn stated.

"Huh?" Trent looked at the two.

"Don't worry about it." Jane stated.

"Oh. Hey, man, nice to meet you." Trent spoke in a low, raspy voice that was probably from smoking.

"Hey."

"Ummm...Janey. If you were bringing a guy into your room, you should put a tie on the doorknob." Trent spoke to his sister.

"Trent, if I was bringing a guy into my room for that, I'd probably shut the door first." Jane reminded.

"Oh yeah. Hey, you got any money?"

"What happened to the money I gave you two days ago?"

"I spent it."

"I don't have any."

"Oh. Can I borrow some from Daria's brother?"

"I'm right here, you know." Finn protested.

"Okay." Trent stated. Finn felt his brain contract a little.

"Sorry, I don't make it a habit to lend money to people I've just met. Or who don't call me by name."

"I know your name. Daria's brother." Trent shrugged and left the room. Finn was taken aback for a moment, and it wasn't until Trent left that Finn started getting angry.

"Don't mind him." Jane stated. "And key point, never use the word 'lend' with Trent. He'll forget that he borrowed money from you. And if he does remember that he did, he won't remember how much. And if he does remember how much, he'll forget he borrowed it from you."

"That doesn't make sense." Finn stated.

"It does to Trent." Jane shrugged and went back to her painting.

* * *

The two were silent for a long time, and Finn found it rather awkward.

"So...you do art, right?" Finn worked up the courage to ask Jane a question.

"Yeah."

"So you've got Ms. Defoe as a teacher?"

"I do. Why?"

"Well, next year I'm thinking of taking General Art. She any good?"

"She's nice." Jane stated.

"She is?"

"You've met most of the faculty at Lawndale." Jane informed. "She's nice by comparison. But even without that, she's still pretty nice."

"She encouraged me to take General Art II."

"I already took that. It was fun."

"What was your final project. Is that really any medium you choose."

"I thought about doing a painting, but I decided to risk it and went with woodwork. She asked to keep it." Jane stated.

"You must be pretty good at art, then. I'm no good at paintings; these are so much better than I can do."

"Art is more than just paint and canvas." Jane stated. "But I rather like the feel of a brush in my hand."

"Ummm...okay." Finn smiled. Jane found herself looking at Daria's brother in awe. From all Daria had spoke of him, she wouldn't have been surprised if Finn had tried to seduce her, just to make Daria jealous, or worse, break up their friendship. Apparently, nothing was sacred to this womanizing jerk. But, after that video project, and even now, watching him seated on Jane's floor, Jane was convinced that Finn was not the monster Daria made him out to be. At least, not wholly. In fact, as she watched the boy now, Jane was certain the best word used to describe the kid was "lost."

"_Ironic, isn't it. Daria was the one who supposedly had no self-esteem, and Finn is loved by everyone. And yet, Daria is the one who does her own thing, and Finn is the one scared to go home alone." _

Part of Jane wondered whether or not she should probe Finn into his relationship with his sister. It clearly drove Daria nuts, and made her angry a lot. But Jane decided against it. This was not her business, friend to Daria or no.

* * *

"Hey, Jane, can I ask you something?" Finn asked.

"What?"

"You...errr...you took that self-esteem course that Daria took in the beginning of the year, right?"

"I took it six times." Jane replied unashamed.

"Six?"

"That wasn't your question."

"Sorry. Ummm...well, Mr. O'Neill asked me to help him with it next week."

"Which lecture was that?"

"The one where the boys and the girls are separated."

"Well, I don't claim to have sat in with that one. Anyway, why would he want you to go for that one. They bring in counselors for that one."

"He told me they weren't doing that for...reasons. Anyway, should I do it?"

"Why ask me?" Jane asked.

"Cause you kinda sorta know what it's about."

"Well, a woman came in and talked to us about body image. You know, you don't have to be model thin or wear a size zero, or things like that."

"Those too-thin girls are so gross. I mean, I'm scared I'll like, poke through them if I touch them."

"And there was the whole thing you had earlier in the year."

"What?" Finn's eyes widened, and Jane could figure his brain could piece it together without filling him in.

"When you had an eating disorder." Jane stated.

"Daria told you?" Finn looked extremely pissed off.

"I'm the one who took her to the hospital to check on you." Jane informed. "And before you get all huffy and judgmental, she was the one who called the ambulance, and she was beating herself up, worried that she brought it upon you."

"Huh?" Now Finn was amazed.

"Look, I don't claim to know the inner workings of your relationship with Daria, but you should know that before you get all angry with her for supposedly blabbing your secrets. The only people who she told were me and Trent, and that's because she needed a lift to see you."

"Ummm..." Finn seemed uncertain of himself.

"Look, I know that you and Daria do not get along, and I'm pretty sure you can tell me all matter of horrible things she did to you in the past, and I wouldn't even question if they were true or not cause they probably were real. But push comes to shove, it was Daria who called the hospital and saved you."

"Are...are you telling me to be nice to Daria?"

"No, but Daria's my friend and the fact that you two are at each other's throats kills her more than she would admit." Jane stated.

"It's not just sibling rivalry."

"Like I said, I'd believe it." Jane stated. "I'm willing to believe that Daria did something so horrible to you that any revenge would be permitted."

"No, you're wrong." Finn protested loudly. Jane paused for a minute. This wasn't a normal protest.

"It wasn't...it wasn't to me."

* * *

Finn did not press the topic any further, and neither did Jane. She did, however, tell Finn to do whatever he liked in regards to Mr. O'Neill's class. When he told her that didn't answer his question, she told him that he would be directly responsible for shaping the influences of teenaged boys, since Mr. O'Neill was clearly not doing a good job of it himself. Whether he wanted the responsibility was up to him.

Finn turned in after that, but didn't fall asleep until past midnight. He didn't awaken until close to noon. Jane, to his surprise, was still asleep. He left the remnants of the pizza money he had bought with Joey on the table, with a note that said he had gone home, and that she and Trent could probably get a slice or two with that.

As he walked home, Finn pondered Jane immensely. Normally, a girl like that, no matter what she said, wouldn't register on his radar. Jane was neither popular nor overly attractive, and Finn did not get aroused by her like he did with Stacy or the other popular girls. Even Sandi or Tori could make him hard, he would just wilt whenever he remembered their attitudes.

But what she told him dominated the walk home. He had already known that Daria called the hospital when he had collapsed, but even this was something else. Daria actually felt bad when it happened? This wasn't just some attempt to cover her own ass?

"_This...this isn't possible." _Finn thought. Daria was cruel and heartless, and her life was making people feel worse about themselves. Like Tommy Sherman.

As soon as Finn thought of Tommy Sherman, though, he started to think of what Daria had told him; she told him he wasn't a loser, like Tommy Sherman had said. Given a choice between Daria and Tommy Sherman, Finn would listen to Daria. After all, Tommy Sherman was a total retard, and Daria, unpleasantness aside, was, in fact, smart.

But Daria told Finn he wasn't a loser, even when she didn't have to. Jane may not have known about that one. Perhaps it was just this year in Lawndale, but Daria wasn't as mean to Finn as she usually was. Of course, this was Daria, who, when the two were younger, often tripped him, or pushed him down the steps, or threw a piece of cake at him. Not usual was not much.

"_Is that...is that because of you, Jane?" _Finn wondered. An address chance from Highland to Lawndale would not have brought that change in Daria. This was the thing that changed it.

Finn still wasn't aroused when he thought of the artist, Jane Lane. But when he did think about her, he started to smile, and her words about Daria started to sink in more. If anyone else, even Mack or Jodie, had talked to Finn about Daria, he would have ignored them.

As Finn made it back to the house, he found his family getting out of the car.

"Oh, hey, sport!" Jake cheered eagerly when Finn walked up.

"How did Grove Hills go?" Finn asked.

"Daria decided to reject the invitation." Helen stated.

"Oh?" Finn stated in shock.

"Although I did see some great places to bury the bodies of the students on our way home." Daria stated. Normally, Finn would have stated an insult to Daria. Perhaps he would have told her she wasn't smart enough to get in anyway, or perhaps he'd try to change her mind to get her out of his life forever.

Instead, he simply straightened his posture and spoke two words.

"Suit yourself." He shrugged and walked into the house.

* * *

Although Finn didn't see it, Daria was amazed at her brother's nonchalant behavior. He had the chance to insult her in numerous ways, and he knew it. And yet, he didn't.

It was a shame Daria didn't know Finn's friends, and could figure it out for herself.


	14. Going Medieval

"So the school is throwing a Renaissance Faire?" Finn wondered to his friends at the lunch table. The news had been delivered just before lunch.

"Yeah. Doesn't it sound stupid?" Jamie stated. Finn agreed. He had never been to one of those before, but it involved wearing those dreadful outfits in a time where people didn't bathe very often. What could be so fascinating about that, aside from the primal, visceral pleasure of eating meat on a bone?

"I vote we pass on that and go do something fun. Shooting range, anyone?" Finn offered. All of the guys high-fived.

"Didn't Ms. Li say something about people getting suspended if they don't volunteer or come?" Jeffy noted with a nervous look. Finn sighed as his buddy brought him back into reality. Ms. Li held the threat of suspension above pretty much every student when it came to Lawndale's fund-raisers, and, if Jake's rants were to be believed, the school taxes were just as deadly to the parents.

"I guess we could show up and leave. What fun could it be?" Finn stated.

"If we're spending ten bucks to show up, we should at least see what it's about." Joey stated. "If I just wanted to throw ten bucks away, I'd give it to my stepdad."

"Well, yeah. I suppose you're right." Finn sighed. And he was looking forward to an actually enjoyable weekend. Ever since Finn had gotten back from his night at Jane's, he found himself wondering whether or not he should help Mr. O'Neill out with talking to the boys in the self-esteem class. Because of some scheduling disagreement with the female counselor, the class was pushed back a week, so Finn, if he accepted, would have more time to prepare. But Finn had absolutely no idea what to talk about. He never had a problem with self-esteem, and he always knew he looked and felt good, even after a grueling practice in the rain, where he was covered in sweat and mud so thick, it took almost an hour to get clean.

But Finn knew that, somehow, he needed to get better at speaking. Ever since Finn saw Stacy run away in tears at Mack's barbecue, and how she reacted to his compliment, Finn realized that if he wanted to get anything done in regards to Stacy, he needed to change his tactics.

"_I suppose it does support the notion that Stacy's not like other girls." _Finn thought to himself. His sweet words were good for getting girls like Tanya Crawford or Sandi to get the gifts. And it was cheap too, to speak sweet nothings. But they didn't work on Stacy. At least, they didn't produce the desired effect.

It was strange, to think of it. Finn would normally not have paid a girl like Stacy a second thought. She got him some nice gifts, but when compared to the other girls, Stacy fell short. And her insecurities were definitely not attractive. But when the girl was sad; Finn actually felt bad, and, to his surprise, he didn't consider it a bad thing.

"_She always has a kind word, even if she bungles saying things. And not just to me, to everyone else. She even compliments Sandi. She's an idiot, that much is true. But...she's a nice idiot. And when I'm around her, it really feels like she cares. Like I could screw up and say something stupid and she wouldn't care. Not like other girls. Not like Mom." _Finn thought as he took his empty tray up to the garbage cans.

Almost as if responding to his thoughts, Stacy started walking up to him. She was gushing, almost like Erin did at her wedding.

"Hi, Finn!" She smiled.

"You're in a good mood." Finn commented.

"Well, Bret Strand just asked me out!" Stacy cheered. Finn knew who that was. Bret Strand was a member of the soccer team, in the same grade as Finn himself. Finn had never spoken to him before, but the soccer team tended to be a bit full of themselves, just like the basketball team, and thought they were the most important school team in Lawndale.

"_Idiots. Everyone knows it's football that brings the most trophies." _Finn thought to himself.

"We're going out this Thursday, the day before that Renaissance Faire." Stacy informed.

"That's great, Stacy." Finn stated. "What are you going to wear?"

"I'm going to wear my crushed velvet violet tank top." Stacy answered.

"Wow, big guns." Finn complimented.

"Oh, what should I talk about?" Stacy fussed. "This has to go well, it just does."

"I'm sure it will, Stacy, I'm sure it will. Just take a deep breath, ask some questions about him, tell a funny story or two. Don't get nervous, and you'll be fine." Finn tried to calm her down.

"Don't get nervous....don't get nervous....ahhh!" Stacy started hyperventilating again.

"_Oh, goddammit!" _Finn thought. It just couldn't be that simple, could it?

* * *

Mr. O'Neill was holding tryouts for some sort of play that was supposed to happen during the Faire. Finn had no interest in trying out, but it appeared as though Kevin and Brittany were taking an interest, along with Sandi.

Finn had no desire to stay and watch, but he needed to pull aside the teacher. However, he was too busy talking to the students to notice. It wasn't until tryouts ended that Mr. O'Neill finally noticed Finn.

"Oh, Finn, did you want to try out for the play?"

"No." Finn stated. "Why would I want to be Palominey, or whoever he was." Finn stated. "I just...I wanted to say I've been thinking about that self-esteem course you wanted me to help with."

"Oh, will you do it?" Mr. O'Neill asked eager, his eyes sparkled with an enthusiasm Finn often saw in the teacher's eyes.

"Well, I think I could. It's just...I've never done stuff like this before."

"You don't have to make, like a speech or anything. We'll have an informal...err...rap session. I think that's how the kids say it." Mr. O'Neill stated.

"Errr...I mean, well, I'm not exactly the best when it comes to...errr...puberty issues. I've only started that recently."

"Well, that's part of why I wanted to ask you. I know it might be hard to believe, but I was a teenager once and I went through the same changes."

"_I'm fourteen, not four. I know people grow up." _Finn thought.

"Anyway, they probably could talk to you better than me. You can explain things through their eyes, and tell them there's nothing to be ashamed about."

"Who would be ashamed of puberty? It just happens." Finn stated.

"Well, perhaps I can explain it another way. Many of the kids in this class feel like failures. They see the magazines of those really buff actors with ripped muscles and handsome faces and boasting about...errr..." The teacher stuttered.

"Virility." Finn finished. Mr. O'Neill shuddered a bit at that word.

"They see these things and think themselves inadequate. They feel like failures. Now, I don't think you've ever had that problem, Finn, but if someone like you, who has all those features, tells them not to feel bad, that should help make them not feel less of a man."

"Errr...correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that just telling them that the buff guys are just taking pity on them?" Finn asked. Mr. O'Neill hesitated.

"Well...umm...I'm sure you'll considered that when you deliver your rousing lecture. I'll see you in class." Mr. O'Neill wandered back into the school, and Finn started thinking he had just made a huge mistake.

* * *

Back at home, Finn sat at the kitchen table with a piece of paper and a pencil, trying to jot down any ideas he had about the lecture. Aside from writing "self-esteem" at the top of the page, Finn had nothing written down. He stared at the mostly blank page for an entire hour.

All Finn could think about when he stared at the page was his mother. This lecture was supposed to be about body image and such, but Finn couldn't get the word "failure" out of his head. It made the most sense to him: People had low self-esteem if they felt like failures. But as soon as Finn thought about that, his mother flashed into his mind. She was the only person, aside from Daria, who told Finn he wasn't good enough. He never got good enough grades, he wasn't respectful to women, and the list went on.

"Finn?" A voice snapped him from his thoughts. Finn looked up to see his mother come in. When did she get back?

"Hi." Finn stated before looking back at the page. If he looked busy, he could get away with not talking to her.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked.

"Just an assignment." Finn did not look up from the page. Helen took a seat at the table.

"Self-esteem?" Helen read the words on the page.

"I'm helping out Mr. O'Neill in that self-esteem class he teaches. I'm getting three whole points extra credit." Finn tacked on the last lie. He couldn't tell his mother the real reason: that he needed to figure out how to inspire people, so that he could use it properly on Stacy.

"Well, that sounds lovely." Helen replied, insincerely as always. "You don't have a lot written down."

"Well, I've never done it before." Finn stated. He started tapping his pencil on the page again.

"Who are the people in your class?'

"I'm guest speaking. I've never seen them before today."

"Oh. Well, Finn, I'm willing to bet that a lot of students are there because they can't conform to rigid standards that society sets."

"Well, the lecture is supposed to be on body image."

"Perfect!" Helen eagerly joined in. "That's a great place to start. Tell the class that there is no such thing as the perfect weight. A girl doesn't need to be a stick just so the boys will like her."

"Err...Mom, the class is all..." Finn started, but Helen kept going.

"And while you're at it, say there is no such thing as a perfect hair color or eye color. The last thing those girls need to spend money on is a pair of contacts to make their eyes green just to get a date with the quarterback. How useless can things be?"

"Mom, there aren't any girls..." Finn's protests were drowned out.

"The standards imposed upon women are downright ludicrous, and you, Finn, being a man, are the perfect person to look those girls in the eye and tell them it doesn't matter what they look like on the outside. The woman within is what is really important."

Finn was about to point out the fact his mother overlooked: That the class was separated into boys and girls. But instead, Finn found himself getting angrier when he saw his mother's proud face.

"Yeah, because it's all some brutal misogynistic conspiracy." Finn mocked his mother. She looked at him strangely.

"Mom, you didn't even listen when I tried to say this is a class that's all boys. We're supposed to talk about the problems facing teenage boys. But apparently, that's not important, is it, Mom. Because it's all about the girls, oh, look, the poor little girls. They need all the help and all the encouragement. I guess I could talk about how I struggled with anorexia because I was so worried about being fat, but no, boys don't have that problem. No boy's problems are important: they cause the problems. God, I thought I left school to get away from people like Ms. Barch. Geez, Mom, forget I even asked!" And Finn stood up so fast his chair fell to the floor. Finn didn't even bother to pick it up as he stormed out the room and out the front door.

Helen sat in stunned silence for a moment as she stared at the entrance to the living room where Finn stormed out. Helen didn't see what the problem was at first. Helen knew she had rushed to judgment on the self-esteem class, and the things she had told him wouldn't be of much help. But that hostile reaction, although not foreign, was troubling. Now Finn thought she was like that man-hating science teacher of his.

"_Nicely done, Morgendorffer." _Helen chided. "_You really know how to make Finn feel special, don't you. Go ahead and make Daria hate you now; you've got time before dinner." _

_

* * *

_

Just as Finn expected, there wasn't much to the Reinaissance Faire worth writing home about. The food smelled awful, the entertainment was nothing more than the usual carnival games, and the costumes were completely garish.

"_I'd rather pay the ten buck entry fee as a guest than wear that crap as a volunteer for free." _Finn thought to himself. He met his buddies at the fairground and they decided to fritter away the time with a few games. While the dunking booth was pleasant, Jeffy tried to prove he had the bast fastball of everyone, and nearly ended up hitting the teacher.

"_Wow. That mom of yours, Jeffy. Must suck. I feel you." _Finn thought. Mothers could be so sucky sometimes.

The most surprising aspect of the entire fair was what Mr. DeMartino had planned. Dressed in full black body armor, he was holding a joust. Finn couldn't think of a more appropriate sport for the teacher. He seemed to be having fun ramming the students and knocking them down. Finn and his buddies gave a go at the event, and all four of them lost to the rampaging teacher.

"_Still, was fun to give it a shot." _Finn thought to himself. He wondered if there was anything else left to do at the event. Finn saw his mother at the archery event and decided against trying it, and he had absolutely no desire to see Mr. O'Neill's play.

"I wanna give Mr. D another shot." Joey stated.

"Yeah, I'm not letting that guy beat me!" Jeffy agreed. Finn chuckled, and declined to join them. He was hungry, and just getting pummelled didn't have much appeal.

* * *

"Finn. Over here!" A familiar voice called out to him. Finn turned his head towards a cake stall to see Tiffany manning the booth.

"Oh, hello, Tiffany. You're working the booth by yourself?"

"Sandi...went to the bathroom." The girl answered in a slow monotone.

"Is Stacy with you?"

"No." Tiffany delivered flatly.

"Wonder where she went."

"We don't...need her. We could just talk ourselves." Tiffany stated.

"_Didn't I try this with you when we went to the Mall of the Millenium. I think I still regret not leaving you at the mall when we left." _Finn thought. Rather then talk, he selected a few of the cakes. At least then he could blame his silence on not talking with his mouth full.

Finn excused himself shortly after making his purchase, and wandered the grounds for a bit while munching. In the back of his mind, he still had the self-esteem lecture in his head. He had formed a few ideas after he yelled at his mother. He wanted to avoid the idea of patronizing or shaming language, and rather, just discuss other things that were important. Standing up for beliefs, sticking to your guns, things like that. Things Finn did all the time.

"_And avoiding people who make a living putting you down." _Finn thought. He remembered how Stacy reacted with Sandi, and made sure, once all the names were dropped, to use that as an example. Finn was quite certain Stacy had absolutely no confidence at all, and Sandi was the one who had a hand in that. Once Finn could convince her to step away from Sandi, the rest was a lot easier.

Not only Sandi, but Finn also planned on using his mother. Kids were close to their parents, and there were other parents out there like Helen's: That was hammered into Finn's head when he stayed over at his buddies's, and saw first hand how much it ruined their lives. Each of his three friends had their faults, like any other, but Finn could see just how it was the parents who shaped this undesirable trait, and Finn wanted to make sure that, it didn't matter if it was an adult or not, they had to be confident making their own decisions.

"_You can't blame me for being born, Mom. Or for not being like Daria. Or for what's between my legs, or anything." _Finn recited quietly to himself.

* * *

Finn found himself by the Ferris wheel, where he heard the sounds of wailing.

"_I know that cry." _Finn thought. It was Stacy's voice. Sure enough, the ride stopped, and from off of the ride stepped Stacy. She ran away sobbing.

"_Alright, who is dead?" _Finn thought as he looked to the other passenger in the car. To his surprise, there were two of them: Daria and Jane. He wasted no time coming over to them after they stepped down from the ride.

"What did you do!" Finn demanded.

"I was nowhere near the docks last Tuesday night, and I know nothing about a missing shipment of exotic turtles." Jane replied nonchalantly.

"Jane, this is no time for jokes. What did you do to Stacy?" Finn asked.

"I plead innocent, Officer." Daria was still mocking him.

"So I'm to believe you did nothing to make her cry?"

"She was like that when I found her." Daria elaborated. Finn crossed his arms across his chest. He didn't believe that for a second.

"Ease up there, crusader." Jane returned. "It's true. That girl was wailing when she came onto the ride about some date that went badly."

"Date?" Finn puzzled. "You mean with Bret Strand."

"That was the name. Of course, it was hard to tell with all that wailing. Apparently he never called her back after the date." Jane finished.

"I...see." Finn stated.

"If she acted like that on the date, I couldn't possibly imagine why not." Daria noted. "Well, I think I'm going to find something more intellectually stimulating. There's some fantastic moss growing on a rock nearby. Come watch, Jane."

"Oooooh." Jane mocked enthusiasm as the two departed.

* * *

Finn took a deep breath to calm himself down. Bret acted like a jerk to Stacy? Finn didn't know him very well, and it certainly wasn't unheard of.

Before he decided to do anything, however, he needed to hear about it from the man himself. Stacy had mentioned to Finn that he was volunteering here today, and the center knew a few soccer players, so it was easy enough to find the man manning a booth.

"Oh, Finn Morgendorffer. I know you." Bret stated once the two men met.

"Yeah. Can I talk to you for a minute." Finn asked. Bret nodded, and, after a quick discussion, the two men found a quiet spot.

"Listen, you went on a date with Stacy Rowe last night?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, I did. Dude, were you thinking of asking her out or something. Don't do it, dude, totally not worth it."

"I...beg your pardon?" Finn stated.

"Oh yeah, she's hot, no question about that. But damn, she's the most nervous girl I've ever seen."

"Nervous isn't a problem." Finn replied. "That's no reason for a date not to go well."

"Well, she's got all that girly talk too much on the brain, you know. I mean, seriously, what do we guys care about the best moisturizer." Bret chuckled. Finn silently acknowledged that. It was an important thing to him, but that didn't mean other guys cared about that sort of thing.

"That was it, though?" Finn stated.

"Nah, of course not. I mean, a girl can talk about stupid stuff, but the real problem came after that."

"What happened?"

"Nothing, dude. I dropped her off and that was it."

"So? She didn't key your car or anything. I don't see what the problem is."

"Dude, I mean nothing happened. No...late night fun." Bret tried to talk slyly. Finn found himself annoyed.

"On a first date?" Finn stated. "With a girl who's fourteen?"

"I'm fifteen." Bret returned. "Besides, that's what the real fun is after a date. Everyone gets something. She gets fed and a night out, and I get, y'know, my weapon polished. That's the whole point, you know. I mean, you date a lot don't you. You know exactly what I'm talking about. No need to be a prude."

Finn was about to mention that he had never done something like that before because he had class. Sure, he thought about it a few times, but the sheer thought of it, after the initial warm feeling, filled Finn's blood with ice. To be intimate like that was carnal and tasteless, and Bret seemed to encourage that. Further, he was content to use the sweet and kind Stacy just to satisfy his lust.

There was a lot Finn wanted to say to that man, but his brain was no longer functioning correctly. Finn almost felt his body move on it's own accord. His right hand balled into a fist, he chambered his elbow. His body pivoted as he brought his shoulder back. And then, Finn felt his arm move forward, and his elbow locked back straight.

Finn felt his fist collide into Bret's face. The guy went down in one blow. Perhaps he wasn't expecting it, or perhaps Finn was just really angry. Either way, the guy's eyes went wide.

"Bastard." Finn cursed. Bret did not try to reciprocate. Maybe he saw the futility of picking a fight with the school's champion boxer. Finn left before a scene could be drawn.

* * *

Once done, it was a simple enough matter to find Stacy. She was still sobbing.

"Hey, Stacy, mind if I join you?" Finn asked. He would wait until he told Stacy that he had avenged her honor. He wanted her to reveal that she was angry with Bret first. It would mean more to her.

"Oh, Finn, it's awful. I went out on my date with Bret, and he didn't call me back!" Stacy moaned.

"_Wow, this is too easy." _Finn thought.

"Speaking of Bret, I just spoke with him."

"Oh, I didn't know you were friends." Stacy stated.

"We aren't." Finn elaborated. "He mentioned the date, and what he expected out of it, and the reason he didn't call you back is probably because he was expecting a little more...well, late night action."

"You...you heard this from him?" Stacy stated.

"Yeah. And once the bastard starting acting all proud about it, I showed him how to properly treat someone." Finn smiled.

"Huh?"

"I decked him."

"You...you hurt him?" Stacy did not react with pride, but with horror.

"Yeah. I mean, come on, you should have seen the way he..." Finn started.

"You actually hit him! I can't believe it, Finn, why would you do that? Oh, God, you hurt someone for me. I might as well have hit him myself. Oh, God, I can't believe I made you do something so terrible!" Stacy started wailing a fresh set of tears and ran off again.

Finn was stunned, and sat quietly for a moment.

"_For the love of God, does nothing work on this girl?" _

_

* * *

_

Finn was too depressed to rejoin his buddies. Instead, he bolted from the fair and went straight home. Once in the safety of his own room, he collapsed on the bed, feeling awful about what had transpired that day.

"_I know better than that. I know not to pick fights like that. I'm not an animal." _Finn was close to tears himself, and sighed as he stared up at the ceiling.

Hours passed, and Finn did not move. Nor did he sleep. He relived the moment where he punched another guy for some girl, and was humiliated. This was what those catty bitches like Sandi got stupid suckers to do for them; fight because they wanted to feel beautiful. But it wasn't Stacy who started the fight: It started and ended with Finn himself.

"_Oh man, who am I to talk about self-esteem to kids now?" _Finn thought. "_Punch your way through your problems. That will solve everything."_

Finn loved to fight, and he was a firm believer that fighting was the truest form of expression. Sometimes, words were clunky and confusing, and when two men put their convictions into their fists and saw who came out on top, that was usually the only way to properly express a hurt feeling.

"_Screw O'Neill and his sappy speeches. You feel that strongly about something, you be prepared to back it up." _Finn thought. But that was not a real fight he had with Bret Strand; Finn was just being a bully. Bret was a dick, but that was no excuse.

There was a knock at Finn's door, and it opened.

"Finn." It was his mother's voice.

"What is it?" Finn did not even look at her. Had she come to berate him for picking a fight?

"Finn, is something bothering you?"

"I'm fine."

"Finn, you don't normally lay quietly in your room for hours on end. Not even when you're sick." Helen noted. Finn silently acknowledged that truth. Sitting still always made him anxious. However, he did not answer her.

"Finn, I didn't mean to be so insensitive yesterday." Helen stated. Finn did not think his mother was being insensitive. The fact that she didn't bother to listen bothered him more than her comments. It was simply that every time she said something like that, Finn couldn't help but wonder whether or not his mother was disappointed that he was born male.

"Are you still having trouble with it? I would still like to help." Helen offered.

"No, I think I've got it." Finn stated. He didn't have it, not entirely.

"You think you have it?"

"Well, I can't see the future."

"Finn, I'm not just saying these things. If you're stuck, Finn, you can ask me." Helen persisted. Finn wondered if he shouldn't have been thankful for the effort, at least. But this wasn't the same as Aunt Rita. His mother had no intention of excusing her embarrassing behavior at the wedding.

But Finn turned on his bed to face her.

"I tried to cheer someone up today, and I failed. Miserably." Finn admitted.

"Oh?"

"She's not someone you've ever met, but some guy was a total jerk and well...it didn't turn out well. Now she's all upset."

"Finn, everyone makes mistakes."

"Yeah, but this happens every time I talk to her and try to cheer her up."

"Maybe you should just change your words. I know your idea of cheering people up Finn, and you can't bludgeon your way through everything. Sometimes it takes a little grace."

"But I'm trying to be graceful about things."

"Then try to bludgeon, and maybe you'll get graceful." Helen noted.

"All right. How much worse could it make things." Finn sighed.

* * *

The next day was a Saturday, so Finn had to wait all weekend in anguish before he could see Bret Strand again. Finn didn't think he had any classes with the soccer player, but it was easy enough to find the guy in the hallway: the soccer players had a favorite hangout during lunch time.

When Finn approached however, Bret seemed nervous.

"_I guess I deserve that." _Finn thought.

"Yo, Bret, I wanted to talk to you." Finn stated.

"Errr...I think we're good, Finn. We're cool." Bret returned. Finn sighed. The guy was clearly worried Finn was going to pummel him again, and he wasn't about to look like a weakling in front of his soccer buddies.

"I need to have a word with you. It can be quick or slow, but one way or another, I'm getting my point across." Finn crossed his arms across his chest and shot him a glare. To himself, he realized that it seemed almost contrary to the point, but Finn reasoned that, as long as he didn't throw any actual punches, he should be good.

Bret stood up, and the two men stepped outside.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize for hitting you at the Renaissance Faire. I shouldn't have done that." Finn stated. Bret's eyes widened, and it was clear an apology was not what he expected the outcome of the conversation to be.

"Errr...okay." Bret stated.

"It's just...it's well, Stacy's a friend of mine, and when you didn't call her back, you really messed her up. Dude, be classy, and at least be thorough. Tell her you don't want to date again if you're not going to date her again."

"Why are you telling me this?" Bret stated. "How many girls have you gone on dates with and never called back."

"I call back." Finn stated. "I'm not perfect, I mean. I do go on a lot of dates."

"Dude, I know who you are, Finn. You're that guy in our grade who gets all the girls fawning all over him. And you date `em and then you leave `em hanging. I see the girls waiting outside your locker to give you things, and you don't give them a date."

"It's not an exchange service." Finn stated.

"What's the difference, dude?"

"I still acknowledge each and every one of them." Finn replied. "And I don't go about with festivities. Plus, I don't drive any of it. She doesn't want to do it, that's on her. I'll at least call and thank her for it."

Bret didn't seem to have a response to that one, so Finn walked away. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of Bret's words. Not that he'd listen to that sex-obsessed jerk.

"_But anyway, now I feel better. I didn't have to throw a punch for that. Save those for when it's worth it. I wonder if that will work for the self-esteem course." _

_

* * *

_

The self-esteem course was set for Tuesday after school. Finn arrived to the class early per O'Neill's instruction. There was a tall woman with glasses, presumably the counselor, already waiting. She regarded Finn with a strange look; perhaps O'Neill hadn't told her about the other counselor. But she said nothing as the class filtered in.

"Now, class, today we have a very exciting discussion today." Mr. O'Neill started the lecture exactly as he did class, and now Finn was certain this class was a load of bollocks. Finn couldn't even pay attention to O'Neill during class, and the center had self-esteem.

"I'd like to ask the ladies to please accompany Ms. Crane to the room across the hall." Mr. O'Neill instructed.

"Ladies, grab your backpacks." The woman stated and left the room. Once the girls left, there were only about ten guys left.

"Now, this class lecture is going to be about issues that come up for sensitive, struggling teenage boys." Mr' O'Neill addressed, and Finn suppressed a gag reflex.

"Because these issues can often be...well...a little yucky, we've separated the girls so that you can speak openly without being judged." O'Neill continued.

"Why's Finn here?" One of the students asked. It seemed Mr. O'Neill wasn't lying about Finn's celebrity status. Not that Finn thought he was.

"Well..." Mr. O'Neill started.

"I'm here to talk to you about them." Finn stated. "Well, let's get started." Finn was losing his patience with the teacher.

"So, who here ever got a stiffy during class?" Finn addressed the class. Mr. O'Neill's eyes widened, although whether it was from Finn's casual abrasiveness or the topic itself was unclear. None of the students rose their hands.

"Like O'Neill said earlier, this isn't about judgment." Finn noted. "I don't care if you do or not, but I'm willing to bet at least one person was sitting in Bennett's class, listening to her talk about geometry or whatever, and all of a sudden, boom." Finn leaned on O'Neill's desk. Again, he got silence.

"Tough crowd." Finn noted out loud.

"Umm...Finn, you don't need to be so..." Mr. O'Neill tried to speak, but his discomfort was making him stutter more than usual, and Finn ignored him.

"Who here has ever had a wet dream?" Finn moved on. No one participated.

"This stuff is all stuff that happens to every guy, every place, all the time. This isn't church or anything. No one's going to judge you." The crowd was quiet.

"Well, class, why don't start with the other part of the lecture first." O'Neill started. "This is also going to be a class about body image. I'm sure all of you have noticed that no two guys are alike. Finn here is all buff and macho, and well, I'm not. And it's important for you all to realize that it's okay to just be who you are. You don't have to spend all day on the bicep press or playing football. What's more important is..." Finn winced on the word "bicep press" but said nothing.

"What do you think, Finn?" One of the students asked, but his remark didn't seem like a challenge. It seemed like a dare. Finn reasoned to tread lightly.

"Same." Finn stated. "It's the Y chromosome thing that makes you a man, that's it. You don't need to be ashamed of it, no matter what Barch says." Mr. O'Neill shot Finn a look the center found very strange, but did not say anything to him.

"And you think that, just because the big man on campus says it, it's supposed to make us feel better?" The student challenged.

"Beg your pardon?" Finn asked.

"You think that just because you're the football captain, we should listen to you?"

"I'm not the..." Finn started.

"You come in here, trying to act all chummy, act like we're all friends here, but the second you walk out that door, it's back to you being the big man who ignores all us little people."

"You'd feel better if I invited you to keggers?" Finn challenged.

"Finn, we shouldn't encourage..." O'Neill started, but Finn pounded his fist on the desk and glared at the teacher. He yelped and remained quiet.

"It certainly would be better than listening to this bullcrap speech about feeling good about ourselves when you're the one making us all look bad."

"Huh?"

"Oh sure, maybe you don't do it on purpose. But every time we see you walking down the hall, lady on each arm, rubbing your arms, how the hell do you think that makes us feel?"

"You think that's fun? Every time one of those girls does that, I think I'm about to have a heart attack." Finn noted.

"You at least get them. I work out and I work out, and I never get ripped like you. And when I try to get a date, I've gotta pay through the nose for the "privilege" of her time, and then they run off and fawn over you like you're some movie star." The student challenged.

"How does that make you less of a man?" Finn challenged. "Go on, answer me."

"Because you get all the chicks."

"Two different things." Finn noted. "You're a man, they are chicks. Nothing to do with each other. You mean to say you think that being a man means getting chicks? Dude, I go on a lot of dates, and it's not that great. If you think it's all about getting lucky, that's not it at all. And while I'm not the topic, being a man does not mean getting lucky either. It's not about catching an interception or chugging the most or even having the biggest tool. Just be you. Stand up for yourself. That's all." The class was silent and looked at Finn. He was surprised that he said pretty much the exact same thing as Mr. O'Neill, but the class seemed to listen. Maybe it was because Finn stood up to being challenged by the student.

"_Stand up for yourself." _Finn echoed. A mantra he learned a long time a go,

"Now, let's get back to the dirty stuff we're supposed to cover." Finn stated as he started to go back to the topic of wet dreams. He thought he got through to them, and the students smiled as he left. And, as Finn walked home, he realized his mother was right so long ago, when he talked to her about body image before. It had been about Brooke Cameron then, but it worked here just as well.

* * *

When he got home, he was eager to see his mother, perhaps for the first time in a long time. She was talking on the phone in the kitchen to presumably Eric Schrecter.

"Actually, Eric, I have to go. My son just walked in. Goodbye." Helen hung up the phone.

"Mom, I..." Finn started.

"Finn, perfect timing." Helen interrupted him. "I needed to reach my stockbroker before 5." She started dialing on the phone another number, and Finn found himself saddened again.

"_Easy come, easy go." _Finn thought. She would be busy all night, assuredly. And he sighed, and wondered whether or not those kids at the self-esteem class had mothers like Helen, who took a passing interest, than stopped the second the boss called.

"_Then I'd be in the class." _Finn thought. And then he recalled how often his mother criticized him, and wondered if the real reason was just because he was good at a game of pretend.


	15. Believers

If Finn had to pick a favorite class in school, gym class would beat all of the others in a heartbeat. No number 2 pencils, no sitting still in a classroom, none of that boring knowledge being shoveled down the throat. One just changed into gym clothes and went to it.

In addition to that, the teachers were a lot better than the teachers in the other classrooms. Many of the gym classes were held together during the same period; so the teachers all seemed to be very friendly. And they were always very supportive to Finn, especially after a big game. Winning gave him praise, and losing gave him pointers; things Finn took to heart and used to apply himself: They wouldn't waste the time if the problem could not be fixed.

However, if there was one teacher he disliked, it was Mrs. Morris. She was in charge of the track team. Finn didn't care much for track itself: just running seemed frightfully boring to him; Finn preferred collision sports. And the fact that Finn did not pick that sport seemed to upset her a bit. As if she took it personally.

"_I might need to talk to Coach Gibson about her. Or the mafia." _Finn joked to himself as he stretched for class. Luckily, she wasn't his teacher, so interaction could usually be kept to a minimum. Her excitement for "Focus on Agility" month seemed to consist of cheerleading moves. Finn chuckled to himself as he focused on his class. At least his teacher's idea of focus on agility involved sprinting with hurdles.

* * *

After gym class finished, Finn was about to head off to another class, when he heard a loud, shrill, female voice call to him.

"Mister Morgendorffer!" Finn knew that it was Mrs. Morris.

"Yes, ma'am." Finn crossed his arms across his chest. "I kinda need to get to class. O'Neill doesn't really like tardiness."

"He wouldn't assign a tardy if you bucked him a little." Mrs. Morris replied. Finn knew that was true. He himself had done such a thing.

"May I help you?"

"Track sign-ups are in a few days, Mister Morgendorffer. I've seen you run at football and baseball, and I think you'd be a valuable asset to the team."

"Why thank you, Mrs. Morris, but I'm afraid I'll have to pass. Between baseball, training for boxing, and my social life, I just don't know how there will be time." Finn declined politely. Mrs. Morris's eyes narrowed.

"I'm sure that if you joined the team, time could be found. You might not even need to study as much." The teacher noted. Finn knew exactly what she meant: getting byes on tests. Kevin Thompson got them all the time, if Mack's rants were to be believed. Finn had never needed a bye himself, he maintained his solid C, which was required, all on his own. And he didn't study much to begin with.

"I'll pass. If I divide my attention, I just won't do as well. And no one wants a divided player. Thanks for the offer anyway, Mrs. Morris." Finn started to walk away.

"Heh. You're just like your sister." Mrs. Morris commented to him. Finn stopped on a dime.

"I beg your pardon?" Finn's voice lowered.

"Your sister, Daria Morgendorffer. She doesn't participate, sits out in protest. And now she has to make up gym class after school. No wonder you two are related." While Mrs. Morris's derision about Daria neither surprised nor upset Finn, the fact that she compared the two made his blood boil.

"I am nothing like Daria!" Finn stated. "You can talk to Coach Gibson, or Ms. Li, or hell, you can look in the damn trophy case. I'm definitely committed to what I do here. And now, I'm committing to walking away. Good luck finding new blood on the track team." Finn derided as he stormed off in protest.

* * *

Finn was still seething by the time he got to O'Neill's class, but he managed to calm himself down before he got to Barch's. That class could never been taken with a Y chromosome and a temper in the same body. The rest of school passed by with nothing interesting happening. After a quick date, Finn went home to find the rest of the family talking in the living room.

"Oh, Finn, I didn't see you come in." Helen noted.

"Had a date."

"Daria just got back too. Finn, do you know a Mrs. Morris?"

"Yeah, she's a gym teacher. Coaches the track team, and maybe the cheer squad."

"Daria had to stay after and make up a gym class because she refused to participate." Helen informed.

"It's P.E, all you have to do is participate to pass. Come on, Daria, you're supposed to know this stuff."

"She snuck in a cheerleading practice into gym." Daria noted.

"Oh yeah, I saw that during my period of gym. Glad I don't have her, I would never wear a skirt."

"Tone up your thighs a little, then you can pull it off." Daria teased. Finn ignored it.

"And I suppose there's a good reason why you didn't just do the class? I mean, it's not like she made you join the team."

"It ran contrary to my beliefs."

"What are they, that encouraging people is bad?" Finn crossed his arms across his chest.

"A believer." Daria noted sarcastically. After a silent pause, she spoke again.

"That jocks are great."

"I'm a jock." Finn noted. "Mom, you're going to let her say things like that about me?"

"She was talking in a collective sense, Finn. She didn't mean you,." Helen dismissed. Finn sighed, as he expected such a kiss-off answer.

"Yeah, that's too boring. I have much better words to insult you with." Daria noted. Helen said nothing, Finn wasn't surprised again.

"You support this, Mom? You think Daria did the right thing?"

"Of course. Not the whole not participating in class thing, but the fact that Daria stands up for her beliefs is important."

"You know, I don't believe in all of Barch's nonsense, can I skip her class?" Finn noted sarcastically.

"Finn, you're not being funny." Helen noted. Finn sighed again. It hadn't been that long ago since his mother had given him the advice that helped him during the self-esteem class, and now things between mother and son were as if it had never happened. She didn't even know how the class went: She never even bothered to ask, and never gave Finn a chance to bring it up. Other things, like Daria, were just more important to her.

* * *

The sign-up booths for the track team were being held at school, just as Mrs. Morris said they would. Finn briefly considered the idea of taunting her at the booth, but reasoned that she would probably not be there. She'd probably guilt some sucker into doing it for her.

"Hey, girls!" Finn noticed the Fashion Club passing by the booth. Were they going to try out. If so, Finn felt duty-bound to talk them out of it: Mrs. Morris would eat Stacy alive, and Tiffany's thighs bulged too much during gym class when she walked normally during warm-ups.

"Hi, Finn!" Stacy smiled. She seemed back on track and had forgiven Finn for punching out Bret.

"Greetings. Are you planning on trying out for the track team?" Sandi asked.

"No, I already have baseball to play. Are you?"

"Heavens no. And sweat?"

"Good point." Finn noted. "Well, I'll be seeing you."

"Hey, Finn, isn't that your sister?" Stacy pointed over towards the table to see Daria and Jane standing there.

"_That is the most unusual thing I have ever seen. Daria would never try out for a sport. But if she did, oh, let it be track. Unleash her on Mrs. Morris. That would be fun." _Finn thought. He strolled over to get a closer listen. The guy manning the booth was not someone Finn recognized; but he seemed older. Perhaps he was a senior. He seemed to be engaged with Jane, while Daria was the one who seemed disinterested.

And then Finn remembered he had often seen Jane, in a track suit, running by the house a few times. Did she do track?

A second later, sure enough, Jane told the guy she would sign up for the team. Finn didn't know very much about Jane, but involvement was not one of her specialties.

And, considering Daria's reaction, it seemed the Morgendorffer siblings shared more than they initially thought.

* * *

Track tryouts were the day after signups, and Finn was still not certain why he decided to show up, but he knew that, for some reason, the idea that Jane was doing track enchanted him just a bit. She was as anti-social as Daria was, and yet, here she was joining a completely optional team. Finn saw her stretching on the field by a hurdle. She said something to Mrs. Morris, and then something to that guy who was manning the sign-ups. After the two went away, Jane looked around the field, and once she caught notice of Finn, her eyes raised in surprise, and then she went over to see him.

"You're not trying out?" Jane asked.

"I've already got myself three sports. I'm just doing a little poaching."

"Where's your rifle?" Jane asked.

"As in I see which of the guys are really good here, and see if I can convince them to try out for football next year." Finn lied. "JV teams are a little spotty." Finn looked around.

"I don't see Daria." Finn remarked.

"I didn't think she'd show." Jane seemed a little bitter.

"Good luck. Let me know how it turns out." Finn smiled. Jane smiled back. Finn leaned back to watch as the track team started, but he left about ten minutes into the event. That was all he needed to see: he knew that Jane would make it.

* * *

Sure enough, Jane sought out Finn the next day to deliver the news.

"Congratulations, though I'm not surprised. I saw you run. You've got great speed." Finn praised.

"I like to run." Jane stated to him.

"I've seen you run by our house a few times in the morning."

"It's the only thing that mornings are good for." Jane noted. "I just need to be more careful on those hurdles."

"You didn't miss any."

"That was luck." Jane replied. "I don't suppose you have any advice on that?"

"You're asking?" Finn was surprised. He would have thought Jane, like Daria, merely wrote him off as a complete and total waste. Then again, she did seek him out to give him the news, and she initiated the question.

"Well, I can't say that I do a lot of hurdles in my sport, but it's really about not losing your momentum when you hit the ground. Even if you don't fall, you get slower, and that takes time to build up. If you train that part, you'll be fine."

"Hey, that makes sense, even to my straight C brain." Jane noted.

"Fellow C-ster, I salute you." Finn teased. Jane actually let out a small chuckle.

"_This is so weird." _Finn thought. Was Jane actually talking to him? Daria's friend? She was plenty nice to him when he stayed over at her house, and actually seemed like a decent human being. What a decent human being was doing hanging out with Daria was another matter all together. But this was intriguing, and Finn didn't know why. He wanted to know why. Jane had started to move away, and Finn called over to her.

"You know, if you want, I can help you out."

"Bringing out the rifle?" Jane alluded to his poaching crack, and Finn chuckled a little.

"I mean training. They let me in the gym anytime I want. I can help you out with the hurdles, or relay races, or just plain endurance, if you'd prefer. I should probably improve my running anyway before next year's football starts."

Jane looked at Finn strangely for an extended, but quiet, moment, and Finn wondered if Jane was going to taunt him about this, with that acid tongue of hers that was second only to Daria's.

"Deal." Jane's answer to the affirmative nearly caused Finn to collapse.

* * *

Training with Jane was not like training Mr. DeMartino for the roller hockey game. Mr. D was a driven individual, clearly motivated by a thirst for revenge against DJ Randy. While Jane had some drive, she had a very strange apathy about the whole matter. Finn wondered whether or not this was the reason Jane did not do well at the hurdles. Her natural talent was great: there was no arguing this. But she did not have the ambition seen in a normal athlete's eyes.

If Finn didn't know any better, he would suspect that Jane's desire to join the team had nothing to do with team spirit, or even for personal glory. Like Jeffy with the baseball team only joining because of his pushy mother, there seemed to be another underlying force at work.

Although Finn believed that would only hamper Jane's ability to succeed at track, asking about it was none of his business. The two of them did not speak as Finn set up hurdles around the gym, and they hit them for about an hour and a half.

"You really do have natural talent. I'm surprised you didn't do this earlier." Finn praised.

"Participation in school activities isn't really my thing."

"You prefer your paintings and stuff?"

"I wouldn't do art if I didn't like it. Art supplies can get pricey." Jane commented, and Finn found himself feeling a little stupid asking that question.

"Well, I guess we should call it a day."

"Thanks for this, Finn. I think I've gotten a lot better already." Jane smiled, and Finn felt himself blushing a little. DeMartino did not praise him like that when he was trained.

"Hey, I didn't do a whole lot. I just let you work." Finn shrugged. "But hey, you're welcome. The great Finn Morgendorffer saves the day!" Finn laughed a little.

"Anyone ever say you have a hero complex?" Jane noted.

"No."

"You do." Jane's tone did not sound like an sour insult. Instead, it just seemed to be a gentle teasing.

"We can run home, if you like." Finn offered. Jane smiled, and accepted.

* * *

As the two students jogged from the house to the Lane residence, Jane found herself surprised at the man running beside her. Ever since she had gotten to see Finn without Daria, Jane noticed that the younger Morgendorffer sibling was not a monster as Daria believed. In fact, aside from the whole exploiting his dates thing, Finn was a generally decent guy. He was the one who proposed training her to be better, a prospect Jane didn't even consider. When he had proposed it, Jane's initial thought was to brush him off. The only reason she had accepted it was so that she could use it to prove to Mrs. Morris that she wasn't some slacker.

But the fact that Finn would propose it was strange to her. Perhaps it would not be a detriment to the popularity he thrived on if he was training an outcast, or perhaps Jane's own popularity would increase if she did well.

"_These people never lack for gossip." _Jane thought. "_Popular one moment, gone the next." _"Here we are." Finn jogged in place as Jane checked the mail.

"Thanks, Finn. For today." Jane smiled. Finn stopped jogging to catch his breath.

"Eh, no problem. Like I said, I needed the training too." Finn smiled. "You...errr...wanna do it again sometime?" Jane paused to consider his question. When she looked back on her performance during tryouts and her performance today, she noticed an improvement. Finn was a good coach, much better than that bitch, Mrs. Morris. Finn actually encouraged her. He said she had natural talent, he took the time to help Jane get what she wanted.

And she'd get to see Finn in his tight gym shorts. Plenty of upsides.

"Sure, why not. I have a practice tomorrow, so the day after?"

"Cool. I've got an away game tomorrow anyway."

"See you then." Jane waved, and Finn jogged off. It wasn't until after he left that Jane realized that Daria would probably not approve of this. Her best friend training with her mortal enemy?

Jane resolved simply not to tell her. Daria didn't show up for her tryouts, and today, when Jane informed her that she had made the team, there wasn't a less enthusiastic reaction from her.

Jane wondered briefly if it meant Daria was seeing her as Finn.

* * *

When Finn arrived home at the house, Daria was seated on the couch, watching TV. Once Finn got closer though, he realized that neither "seated" nor "TV" was appropriate. The box had been switched to a three-digit number, so all that played on the TV was white static, and Daria was lying in a strange diagonal angle, with her head nearly to the floor and her boots up in the air.

"Daria, you should watch those things. Someone could lose an eye." Finn complained.

"And she hears a voice that she knows." Daria stared blankly ahead at the static. "Does she acknowledge it?"

"Never mind, major creepy." Finn walked into the kitchen and got himself a soda. As he walked up to his room, he couldn't help but think about the strange way Daria was acting. Assuredly, Jane would have told her about her position on the track team. Knowing Daria, she would not have been impressed. Jane would not have been pleased.

"_Trouble in Paradise?" _Finn thought. If that was the case, then Daria would be less pleased to hear that Finn was training her. Daria would think that he was trying to steal Jane from her. Not that he would question that reaction: He probably would have done so if this was earlier this year, before Daria actually started showing herself to be an actual human being.

Finn resolved not to inform her of his new protégé. If she didn't care about Jane and the track team, she shouldn't care about this.

* * *

A few days passed, and Jane's level of improvement was astounding to Finn. She started clearing those hurdles, sprinting like a madwoman, and could pickup a relay race even faster than Finn himself. While Jane still seemed to have a trademark apathy that was common to her, she also seemed to have a desire to succeed at track. Despite what Finn initially thought, they were not mutually exclusive.

Finn was still a little confused as to why he was training her: Focusing on his own speed was important, but that idea died out quickly when Finn amended his practices to focus more on Jane's improvement. And the name "Daria" didn't cross Finn's mind for a second while the two were training, so she had nothing to do with it. There was just something, something about Jane that Finn found compelling.

"My first meet is coming up." Jane noted to Finn as they took a break.

"Oh yeah, I know. They give me a sports calendar." Finn smiled. "Baseball doesn't have a game that day."

"Yeah...I know." Jane's voice suddenly became a bit quieter.

"You...uhh...wanna come?" Finn detected hesitancy for the first time in Jane's voice.

"Sure. I know the when and the where. Time to see how much we can do in a short amount of time." Finn chuckled a bit, and so did Jane. But there was also a slight smile on her face. The two jogged back to Jane's.

"Alright, well then, good luck, make sure to stretch before you start, and today was the best you ever did on the hurdles. Do it like you did today, you'll win. Trust me." And with a wink, Finn left down the sidewalk towards his home.

* * *

Once there, Finn was surprised to find his mother home so early. He went into the house, but he didn't make it up the steps before his mother called him into the kitchen.

"Yes?" Finn asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Finn, you've been training?" Helen asked politely.

"_Why are you pretending to be interested? You don't show up for any of my games." _Finn thought. That wasn't true; but he had a number of games this entire year at Lawndale, and the ones that his mother had bothered to show up for could be counted on his fingers.

"Yes, I've been training. We're doing well." Finn smiled.

"We?"

"The...the person I've been training, of course." Finn stammered a little.

"Anyway, Finn, I needed to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"I wanted to ask you to spend some time with your sister." Helen noted.

"_Of course. You worry about her when she acts kooky, whenever she starts acting weird. It's always a damn chore for you with me, isn't it?" _Finn silently accused.

"Mom, do you remember what happened the last time we spent time together? She locked me in the linen closet for six hours."

"Finn, that was years ago. Daria's grown up since then."

"Mom, I've got a busy schedule as it is with all that training and dates are already booked. I really don't have time to spend with Daria."

"Finn, I'm worried. She's been talking to herself for days."

"Then why doesn't she just make friends? Or does that mean she's have to actually be nice."

"Finn, I know where this is going. If you spend the afternoon with Daria, I'll let you use my credit card at the mall. Gold card, take it or leave it?"

"Take it!" Finn stated eagerly. "But if she locks me in the closet again, I'm calling Social Services."

* * *

With Helen's gold card in tow, Finn knocked on the door to Daria's room.

"A knock, a knock." Daria's voice sounded through the door. "Come in." Finn opened the door.

"Wow, this room still looks like this?" Finn noted with disgust. All the bones and organs and other nasty bric-a-brac Daria collected revolted him to no end.

"And inward stepped a stately jock from days of forgotten yore." Daria commented to herself.

"Daria, you've been sitting around the house for days. We need to get you out and about, with some fresh air, some sunlight..."

"Just inject the skin cancer into my face. What do you want?" Daria returned to her normal bitchy tone in seconds.

"I thought we should do stuff together. You know, like normal brother and sister."

"Split your bribe money with me. I'll work the lie out later. It's what we both want." Daria commanded.

"I've got Mom's gold card."

"Then I'll take the first cash advance."

"Ummm...Mom's actually home." Finn pointed out. "And I did need to go to the mall. We can get you some new boots....and a new jacket....new skirt, and probably a haircut. Oh hell, if I change one thing I need to change everything else. It's like polishing only one spot on a car.

"Drop me off at the library. Pick me up at seven."

"Deal!"

* * *

After Finn picked out a brand new ensemble of an Air Force jacket and designer sunglasses, he found Daria at the library. She was talking to the book she had picked out.

"Daria, I wrote down a time sheet stating what we did." Finn handed it to her.

"You're getting better at this. It'll hold water."

"Errr...Daria, you know the book can't talk back to you, right?"

"It's responses are better than a response from Kevin."

"Daria, you know if you treated people nicer, they'd hang out with you every so often." Finn noted. But Daria had returned to the book, mumbling things Finn didn't care to hear about.

"_Are you mad because Jane joined the team? Get over it, Daria, it has nothing to do with you." _Finn thought. He almost voiced the thought out loud, too. But once he saw Daria talking to the book again, he found it too creepy to even speak to her.

* * *

During the first track meet, Finn took front and center on the bleachers to watch Jane perform. Once it got started, it was clear the training paid off. Jane made track look effortless, and she was victorous. Finn was about to call out her name when he noticed Daria seated in the bleachers, along with Jane's older brother, Trent. The two of them did not look excited to be watching, although, from what Finn could remember of Trent, the man never showed excitement.

Daria was already acting strangely enough. If she suspected something between Finn and Jane now, the girl might finally snap.

So, instead, Finn cheered out the word "Lawndale!" But, he made sure that whenever he caught Jane's eye looking his way, he smiled a knowing look of satisfaction at her accomplishment.

Neither Finn nor his buddies were members of the track team, but the guys all went out to Pizza Palace after the meet. Finn knew that Jane would be there, probably with Daria.

"You guys see the meet?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, we kicked ass!" Jamie stated.

"That new girl was amazing!" Jeffy returned.

"What was her name?" Joey asked.

"Jane." Finn returned. "She's sitting over there." He gestured. "Come on, let's go congratulate her."

"Okay." Joey stood up. The guys soon followed.

"Hey there, Jane." Finn let Jeffy lead the conversation, he simply locked eyes with Jane and smiled at her.

"Hey, guys." Jane stated.

"You were amazing today. It was like, whoom, speed!" Jamie wasn't the most eloquent of the guys, but sometimes his bluntness was encouraging. Jane laughed a little bit.

"Hey, you wanna go out sometime?" Joey asked. "Hit the movies?"

"I'll pass for now." Jane stated. "But thanks, anyway."

"Well done, Jane." Were the only words out of Finn's mouth. But Jane's eyes locked with Finn, and more unspoken words were exchanged between the two's smiles. Daria looked as though she was about to speak, but Finn led his buddies away before she could. Daria would ruin the moment.

* * *

Finn and Jane continued their training after the first meet. There was still a lot Jane wanted to improve, things Finn could actually help her with.

After the day's training, Finn started to walk home, and that's when it hit him. He had always been so confused as to why he found Jane so appealing, even before the training the two of them did.

"_Stacy." _Finn thought to himself. Jane's irreverence for the people around her, even Daria, was exactly what Finn wanted for the lovely Miss Rowe. The fact that Jane could just do her own thing, participate despite Daria's overt disinterest, or even blast Finn, even when she invited him into her home, was what Stacy needed to be.

* * *

Finn was distracted the next time he saw Jane, and, to his surprise, he found that she was distracted too. Rather than meet at the gym, Jane had slipped him a note telling him to meet at her house after school. However, before he got a chance to do so, he saw Jane in the hallway with that guy from the track team.

Finn inched in closer to them.

"You really should come back to the team." The guy told her.

"_You quit?" _Finn thought.

"I quit, get over it." Jane stated to the guy.

"Jane, I mean it." The guy was serious. "You're great at it."

"And all it cost me was my integrity."

"You're a track star, you don't need a math test!" The guy stated.

"Evan!" Jane protested. Finn realized this had gone on long enough, and stepped between the two.

"Is there a problem?" Finn dared this Evan character.

"No, Finn, there isn't. This is a track matter." Evan's eyes narrowed. Just like with Bret Strand, it seemed teams were always rivals with each other.

"Seems to me like there is. Raised voices." Finn replied, trying to handle things exactly like Jane would.

"Butt out." Evan ordered.

"Maybe you should just get going. Come on, fairy boy, Vogue called, they need their pixie cut back for the ladies."

"This doesn't concern you."

"Let me make this easy for you, Evan. You're a track star, you run. I'm a boxer, I punch." Finn lowered his voice. That seemed to get the picture to Evan, and he left.

"Come back when you grow a pair." Finn taunted. He turned to Jane.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Nothing happened. Thanks for that, though." Jane returned.

"I guess this is what you wanted to talk to me about, huh?"

"Yeah. I quit. The morality of the system was getting to me."

"I take it you got a bye on some math test?"

"Yeah." Jane seemed disappointed in herself for taking it. Finn had never received a bye before as he never needed one, but he knew Kevin got them all the time.

"Walk with me, will you?" Jane offered. Finn accepted as the two left the school.

* * *

Jane told Finn everything, about how Mrs. Morris tried to keep her on the team, how she threatened to flunk her. She talked about the math test, and how dirty it made her feel that she didn't flunk it on her own merits.

"Are you disappointed?" Jane asked.

"It's your decision." Finn returned. "It was fun, though. You really did do well at track." Finn laughed a bit. Jane took a seat at the table.

"Yeah, but you did all that stuff for me, even when you didn't have to."

"Hey, I rescued the princess from the dragon with the bad haircut." Finn reflected on how he chased Evan away.

"We can just skip the kiss and the happily ever after." Finn teased.

"You really do have a hero complex." Jane noted. There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"I didn't mean that, by the way. I meant the training, the showing up. Those hot friends of yours being nice to me." Jane stated

"I didn't do anything with them." Finn replied.

"Still."

"Hey, I just did what I felt like." Finn shrugged. Jane, however, did not seem amused.

"Finn, this is important to me, dammit. Tell me the truth. You helped me out when you didn't need to, and I want to know why."

"'cause I knew you could do it." Finn noted. He was not challenging Jane, rather, it was more an admission of fact. This revelation seemed to depress Jane a bit.

"I thought so." Jane looked at the ground.

"Is that was this was all about? You wanted someone to believe in you?" Finn asked. Jane nodded.

"I did, then. I did believe in you." Finn admitted.

"Dammit."

"What's so bad about that?"

"Nothing! It's just...it felt...it felt nice." Jane admitted. "And now I feel bad letting you down."

"Jane, if I asked you to rejoin the track team, would you?" Finn asked. Jane was silent for a long time.

"No." She admitted.

"Alright then, do as you please. Yes, Jane, I believed in you, and I still do. You made this decision for the right reasons." Finn stated. Jane's eyes went wide.

"That was..." Jane's eyes started to mist as she trailed off.

"Hey, Finn, that was really good." Jane praised.

"Heh, well." Finn blushed.

"Do you remember that girl from Mack's barbecue?"

"Stacy? What about her?"

"You have a crush on her, don't you?" Jane asked.

"It's...it's more complicated then that." Finn stated nervously.

"You keep trying to be nice to her and it keeps blowing up, right?"

"How'd you know?" Finn's eyebrow raised.

"I saw you talk to her at the Renaissance Faire. You should try it like you did here, it'll work." Jane stated. Now it was Finn's turn to be silent.

* * *

When the two of them reached Finn's house, Finn had initially thought Jane would just go to Daria's room.

"Oh, hello, Jane!" Helen was home, and she greeted the two. "Are you here to see Daria?"

"You're here kind of early, Mom?" Finn noted.

"Well, Finn, my case just settled, and I thought this would be a perfect time for some mother-son bonding." Finn's eyes widened in horror as Helen told him this.

"And what about Daria? I thought you were worried about her?" Finn tried to deflect.

"Daria's actually seemed in a much better mood when she came home." Helen stated. "So I thought it would be just you two. Go on up, Jane. She's in her room."

"Actually, Mrs. Morgendorffer, Finn was going to take me to the shooting range." Jane casually lied. Finn looked toward Jane in shock, hiding his surprised look from Helen.

"Oh, well, can't you two reschedule."

"Unfortunately, you gotta book times." Finn joined in on the lie.

"I didn't think you were into that sort of thing, Jane."

"It's not really my thing." Jane admitted. "But I've been having trouble holding my glue gun steady for some of my projects."

"It's not the same as holding a point twenty-two, but we should be able to correct that." Finn noted. "We just came back to get my new jacket."

"Oh." Helen seemed disappointed as Finn quickly dashed upstairs to get his jacket. After that, Finn and Jane left the house and started to walk to the shooting range.

"Thanks for that." Finn stated once they were alone.

"Hey, one good turn deserves another." Jane stated. "And I've heard enough mother-daughter hell stories from Daria. They have to be unbearable."

"Tell me about it. You know, even though the track team's over, we can still be friends." Finn stated.

"I'd like that." Jane replied. "We'd have to keep it a secret from Daria."

"I'm used to keeping secrets from her. But I'm game. You're kinda cool, Jane. You've got, like, an awesome attitude."

"So he says to the girl who took the self-esteem course six times." Jane cracked.

"Hey, I've had enough self-narration from Daria." Finn laughed as the two reached the shooting range.

"Oh, hey, Finn." The guy at the counter knew Finn well, and greeted him politely. His gaze soon fell upon Jane.

"This a new friend?" He asked.

"Yep. You got it." Finn smiled as the man went to get the appropriate equipment.


	16. Ambrosia Vinaigrette

Finn sat at the table, with a notepad, scribbling various thoughts, as Jake eagerly stood at the stove with a large, bubbling stewpot. Finn had absolutely no idea what was in that pot, but, considering the smell and the bubbling, he was willing to believe that it was not a pleasant combination. Daria also sat at the table, reading a book. Finn could only see the title of the book, but it didn't make any sense to him. So he returned to his notepad. There, he was writing down all of the times he had tried to talk to Stacy, and how she reacted. Simple compliments were not working, and any ambiguity was twisted into an insult, either by Stacy herself or from Sandi.

"Well, here's the family." Helen stated as she entered from the living room. None of the three looked up from their tasks to acknowledge her. Jake simply tasted his stew, then started to gag. This provoked Finn's reaction, but before he could do anything, his father staggered out from the kitchen.

"Daria, what are you reading?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"It's a school assignment. It tells us about fiction, and how it should do more then just entertain. The goal of the writer is to steer his reader towards moral behavior."

"That sounds fascinating." Helen stated. "Finn, is that what you are doing?"

"Huh? No, why would I want to write a story? The ones I have to read are bad enough." Finn did not look up from his notepad.

"So, what are you writing?" Helen asked.

"Strategy." Finn replied.

"Oh, for football?" Helen asked. Finn was about to protest that football was already over, and, as usual, his mother had no clue. But Finn bit his tongue.

"Yes, Mom. It's football strategy." Finn returned to his notepad.

"Well, I'm sure you will come up with some great tactical moves. Daria, did anything interesting happen at school today?"

"I wasn't invited to anything, no one asked me on a date, I'm getting a cold sore, and I think someone threw a Life Saver at me."

"Oh, that's horrible!" Helen stated. "Finn, what about you."

"I blew off my date with Ashley Beaker tonight to do this work, I've got two parties and four dates come the weekend, and I need to master these...tactics before my birthday next week. And today, someone actually gave me Life Savers."

"He just needs three cold sores. Or maybe a swift kick to the crotch." Daria noted.

"Ha." Finn replied sarcastically.

"Oh, Finn, your birthday is next week, isn't it. Is there anything you would like?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." Finn noted. "Clothes, shoes, equipment, the works."

"Do you perhaps need any books, Finn?" Helen asked. "You know, your birthday would be a great time to make resolutions to better yourself."

"Mo-om!" Finn protested. "I'm already trying to make things better. What do you think this notepad is for?"

"I meant making yourself more rounded. Consider an academic club, or build your grades up."

"My grades are fine, I'm not on academic probation."

"Finn, getting C's is not an incredible accomplishment."

"Yeah, maybe I should be more like Daria, shouldn't I. Hey, Daria, where are you getting that cold sore? Looks like I need something to work on." Angrily, Finn shut his notepad and left the table. There was silence for a moment, and then Helen sighed.

"Go ahead." Daria coaxed. "You can say it. What is wrong with that child?"

"Daria." Helen criticized. "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to see things in a more positive light sometimes. You mentioned that you weren't invited to parties this week, so clearly that must matter to you."

"It does matter. It's proof that I'm doing it correctly."

"Daria, you know, getting more of a social life would only benefit you."

"I need to learn how to do a keg stand?"

"I meant meeting new people, doing things with your friends."

"You're right, Mom. In fact, I'm headed to Jane's." And Daria picked up her book and left the table, and Helen was all alone at the table.

She sighed again.

"_You try to show them. You try to help them, but they just don't want to listen. Finn's almost fifteen now, and soon after, Daria will be sixteen. Was it like that when I was that age? Was there truly nothing to figure out?" _Helen took one look at the pot Jake left on the oven, shut the burner off, then went to make some lasagna.

* * *

In the sanctuary of his room, Finn wrote with a passion, more then he had ever written taking notes for class. Finn had set himself a goal to reach, and he never backed away from a challenge. Before his fifteenth birthday, Stacy Rowe was going to break away from Sandi Griffin. The parasite would be removed, and she'd learn to be confident and bold, to turn heads and do it properly.

Finn smiled. He had bonded with Daria's friend, Jane, and the relationship had benefited Finn in ways he couldn't imagine. Jane spoke her mind freely, and was articulate enough to get her point across. She wasn't coyed into submission like Stacy, or even his buddies. Much as Finn loved them, they were too willing to tell him good things. If it wasn't for the disasters when he stayed over their houses, Finn might have never realized how he could cause problems for other people unintentionally, like he did with Jeffy's mom, or know that different people had different family lives, for better or worse, than his own, just like Joey and Jamie's families.

Jane had told him exactly how he needed to get his point across to her. He needed to stop just the direct compliments and attack the root of the problem. And that was Sandi. Stacy needed to break away fro m Sandi and not worry about what she said anymore. One that happened, the rest would fall into place.

Going about doing that wasn't going to be easy. Finn knew Stacy would have to change some of her outfits to properly accent her features, as well as look at people when she talked to them, and when they talked back.

"_No problem." _Finn thought. He had five days until his birthday. That was plenty of time, Finn reasoned. And the results would be worth it: He wouldn't have to put up with Sandi's bull, Stacy would give helpful advice to people regarding fashion, and other girls could look to her and be inspired. After all, all girls like Sandi thought of men were two things: That they were idiots, and that they were lost in her looks. Finn knew that Sandi, despite her kind words, was only using him to advance her own social status. And even if she wasn't, the girl was far too cruel to be anything more than one of the gift-giving nobodies.

But Stacy didn't think that. She thought only good things about other people. She was even willing to criticize herself before Bret on their date, even when it was Bret's fault.

"_Alright, Day 1. I think Stacy said she would be at Cashman's tomorrow, along with Sandi. I'll just need to separate them, then. You'll never know what hit you, Stacy." _

_

* * *

_

Daria listened with disinterest as Mr. O'Neill attempted to teach Gardner's book to the class. There was nothing that man could tell her about the book she didn't understand from reading it, but, as usual, Kevin didn't seem to grasp it.

"Now, class, on the board you'll see a list of books. Your assignment is to pick one and read it for it's moral dimensions." The teacher instructed as the bell rang. As the students got up, Daria went over to the teacher. Every single one of the books he selected were ones she had read before. While all of the assignments were simple because it was watered-down nonsense for idiots, there was such a thing as too easy.

"Oh, Daria?" Mr. O'Neill stated. Daria informed him of her plight.

"Hmmm...I suppose that wouldn't be much of an assignment if you've read it already. Alright, then, why don't we change the assignment for you."

"Well, I guess I could pick a different..." Daria started, but O'Neill interrupted her.

"Instead of reading a story for it's moral dimensions, why don't you write one with moral dimensions?"

"Excuse me?"

"Daria, you are one of this school's most talented writers, and your writing style is, well, it's a little unpleasant, but it's very well-written." Mr. O'Neill praised.

"Uh....thank you." Mr. O'Neill's praise was sappy as always, but it did encourage her a little bit.

"So how about you become our Bronte. Write a story and make us, the reader, see the moral framework behind it. Take people you know, fictionalize them, and write a story that shows us true morality."

"The good are rewarded, the wicked punished?" Daria asked.

"Exactly!" Mr. O'Neill swung his fist playfully. "Oh my, I came up with this on the fly, but I'm so excited I can't even sit down!"

"I think I can do that." Daria smiled slightly. "I'm not sure about the moral though, but I think the bad guy can get what's coming to him."

"Well, then write the story first, and put the moral in afterwards." Mr O'Neill encouraged. "Sometimes we should let ourselves flow free, and then do the assignment." But Daria hadn't even listened to him by this point.

"_Karmic justice, then? And use real people as fictional characters. Well, I know my topic. But oh, so many weapons, so little space." _

_

* * *

_

Finn had stopped off at home before he was going to head out to the mall. The weather on his birthday was supposed to be fairly mild, so the Fashion Club had asked him so that he might approve of their outfits.

When he got home, however, he was stunned to see his mother home so early.

"You're home early, Mom." Finn voiced his mind.

"Well, that case with the radiation poisoning just ended. I told those little crybabies that that radiation would only cause minor problems at best. Not the tumors. And we beat those bastards!"

"Pleasant." Finn replied sarcastically. "Well, I'm due at the mall."

"I'll go with you, I need some new earrings." Helen stated.

"I'm...uhhh...meeting some people there, Mom. The Fashion Club. I won't have the time to be your personal shopper."

"Oh, I'm sure you can manage. Besides, your father is working late and Daria's off at Jane's. It'll just be a mother-son bonding day." Finn started looking around, desperate to find an out, but there was none around. He sighed as he went upstairs to get his jacket.

Once at the mall, Finn quickly went to Cashman's. Helen moved quickly to keep pace with him, but he was deadset on losing her.

"_Such are children. Always so embarrassed."_ She thought.

"Why, hello, Finn." A girl eagerly greeted him as soon as she saw him. They were all in the Junior 5 division, carefully considering their outfit choices.

"Hello, Stacy. Hi, girls." Finn greeted.

"So this is Stacy." Helen, following behind Finn, greeted.

"Finn, I wasn't aware your mother would be joining us." Another girl noted. Helen recognized her as Sandi Griffin, the daughter of Linda Griffin.

"I wasn't planning on it either." Finn answered. "But we're wasting time. It seems you have already started browsing."

"Finn, do I look fat in this?" An Asian girl asked vacantly. Finn moved over to start talking with the girls. Helen decided now was the time to observe Finn in his natural habitat, particularly, with this Stacy girl. Helen also recognized the name "Sandi" from Finn's earlier rants about how she kept Stacy down, and, now that Helen could see them all together, it was clear that Finn was correct. While Helen did not follow the nuances of fashion and could care less about the girls outfits, Sandi was quite...disdainful of Stacy's choices, and that was putting it mildly. That girl Sandi was Linda Griffin's daughter, every step of the way.

"_If you want that Stacy girl to break away from Sandi, you have my blessing, Finn." _Helen thought. Finn tried to split his time between Stacy and Sandi. He wasn't spending any time with the other girl, but, considering that the only thing she asked was whether she looked fat, Helen couldn't exactly fault him.

"I'm actually really liking spaghetti straps in cyan, black skirt, and leggings. You'll need a scarf, though. Gotta watch those gusts." Finn addressed Sandi.

"How conscientious of you, Finn, to notice my best features. Not that they aren't all good." Sandi stated.

"Oh, Sandi, I wish I had thighs like yours." Stacy fawned. Helen nearly gagged.

"Perhaps Finn can teach you exercises to firm them up, Stacy. I wouldn't want my thighs to bulge out. Not that yours do."

"Oh no. Not at all." The Asian girl replied blankly.

"Oh, God!" Stacy looked nervously at her thighs.

"_Wow, Linda. You have conditioned your daughter well." _Helen thought.

"Sandi, why don't you go try the outfit on first. And take your time, look in the mirror and think about your hair so you can tell me how you're going to style it."

"You are very thorough, Finn." Sandi praised. She walked off towards the dressing room, dragging the Asian girl, who once again asked Finn if she looked fat.

Finn had been ignoring his mother ever since he had gotten started with the girls, so he turned and talked to Stacy as if they were alone. Perhaps Stacy had forgotten that Finn's mother was standing so close to them as well. It certainly seemed so, considering she couldn't take her eyes off of Finn.

"You know, Stacy, I've been thinking of an outfit for you." Finn started.

"Really? What?" Stacy asked.

"I think what we need to do for you is to have an open trench with a halter top, and tight jeans." Finn started.

"T-tight!" Stacy's voice squeaked. "But my thighs..."

"Stacy, there's nothing wrong with your thighs. There's nothing wrong with your hips, there's nothing wrong with your waist, there's nothing freaking wrong with you." Finn stated.

"I...uhhh..."

"The problem isn't you, Stacy, it's that you keep listening to people like Sandi talk about your thighs like that." Finn lectured. Helen was impressed by her son. He could always capture a woman's attention, but he always used it for profit and personal gain. Now he was using those talents to help another.

And if Helen considered that Finn had been trying to get that girl to feel better about herself for months now, she could also applaud his effort. He did not give up easily.

"Errr..." Stacy was confused. Finn was getting frustrated. But soon, Sandi came back.

"How do I look?" Sandi had changed into the outfit. Helen almost figured her for a halfway decent person.

"It looks lovely, Sandi." Stacy emphatically agreed, and Helen knew things weren't going to go the way Finn wanted them too.

"I think we've decided on an outfit for Stacy too." Finn noted.

"Really?" Sandi asked. "I hope, Stacy, that it's a better choice then what you wore last week to Finn's baseball game. I said to do Lawndale colors to show our pride, but that shade of blue was so off." Sandi expertly delivered, and Stacy started to wail again. Finn groaned.

"Finn, I really think we should be going." Helen stated. "We still need to head to the jewelry store." She had to get her son away from Sandi before he lost his head and messed up, saying something to make Stacy feel worse. Finn said many stupid things when he was frustrated.

"Yeah, I guess. I'll see you later, girls." Finn moaned.

* * *

Finn was silent as Helen shopped for earrings.

"_Is that why you have such a low opinion of women, Finn?" _Helen thought. "_Because of girls like Sandi?" _Helen couldn't exactly blame him. In her youth, she reasoned many men were like that as well, and, child that she was, one person like that meant all were like that.

"What earrings do you like, Finn?" Helen asked, wishing her son would open up about the real topic plaguing his heart.

"Go for the thin black ones. Or jade." Finn instructed. "Jade looks the best, but avoid it with your red suit. Christmas colors."

"I think those earrings might be more suitable for that Stacy girl." Helen replied.

"Hmmm?" Finn cocked his eyebrow. "I don't think so. They're too thin. She's better off with studs." Helen didn't think they did look good on her, but she had hoped it would get Finn to talk about her. But he didn't.

"Helen?" An all-too-familiar voice called over to her. Helen looked up from the stand to see Linda Griffin, daughter in tow, enter the store.

"Hello, Linda." Helen's delivery was flat.

"I came to pick up my daughter, and she told me you were around with your son. I thought you'd be here. Those earrings you're looking at are wonderful for women in their fifties." Linda stated.

"I'll remember that after I turn fifty. Several years from now." Helen returned. She glared slightly at Linda, who returned it.

"Mother, I need to show you that blouse I wanted for Finn's birthday next week." Sandi stated.

"That is right, Finn, you are turning fifteen, aren't you." Linda said with a fake sincerity Helen knew all too well.

"Yes, Mrs. Griffin."

"Finn is your youngest, isn't he, Helen?" Linda asked.

"Yes."

"Almost fifteen." Linda noted. "I thought breasts stopped sagging as much after the feeding stopped, but it seems I was mistaken. After Sam and Chris grew up, they, well, perked back up on their own. I hope that doesn't embarrass you kids."

"Well, it's hard to overcome that when they're real." Helen returned. Finn glared at his mother. Sandi, however, seemed to enjoy her mother's pride.

"We must be going, Linda. We still have other places to shop. Oh, and Linda, before I forget, I found the number of a great collagen man. Would you like me to e-mail it to you? You did mention something about scarring at the Lawndale Business Women's Christmas gala last year." Helen dared. Linda looked offended. Satisfied with the game, Helen left the jewelry store.

* * *

"Well, you handled that well." Finn noted sarcastically on the ride home.

"Finn, you heard her." Helen returned.

"Yeah, I did. I know Mrs. Griffin, Mom, she's a total bitch." Finn stated. Helen let his cursing slide.

"And so were you." Helen heard her son mutter under his breath.

* * *

At Jane's house, the artist was starting a self-portrait while Daria sat on her bed with a legal pad. She was asked to write a story with moral dimensions, and karmic justice seemed to be encouraged by the teacher.

"So, who are you going to write about. Like I need to ask, though." Jane noted from her easel.

"I've already written some of it." Daria stated. She turned back to the passage she had finished.

_It wouldn't be long, the woman thought as she grabbed the lead pipe laying on the ground. It was only slightly bloody, trace flecks on it, but it was clean enough for the purpose it served. She strode over into the next room, a cold, cement-floored room with no windows, illuminated only by a bare hanging bulb. Boxes of unlabeled bric-a-brac lined the back wall. But none of that was interesting. The only thing interesting in here was the restrained redheaded man lying on the floor. _

"_Wakey wakey!" The woman kicked the unconscious body, who groaned in protest._

"_Protesting? You don't have that right." The woman ground her heel into his chest. _

"_Stop it!" The man pleaded. _

"_I know all about you. Isn't this fun, it should seem familiar. All the torture you put everyone through your whole life, come down on you." The woman lectured. "You should feel blessed. Not everyone receives acknowledgement of their sins."_

"_I didn't do anything!" The man pleaded. Still he plead ignorance, the woman thought as she placed her foot on his neck. His choking protests made her smile a moment. _

"_Making your dear mother suffer." The woman recited. "Torturing your sister. Manipulating others for your own selfish gain. Oh, you've done a lot, little boy!"The man could only groan in pain. _

"_I'm talking!" The woman ordered. "You never did listen to women, did you? Oh no, you're not allowed pass out now." And then the woman swung the lead pipe, straight into the man's testes. Blood flowed freely from his wound, tears from his eyes. He was so scared, he even loosened his bowels._

"_Let me go!" The man pleaded between groans of pain._

"_Oh, you will be when you've paid for your sins. Or until those things between your legs finally give out on you. I wonder which would be first." The woman took another swing. _

_

* * *

_

Daria looked silently at the story.

"Daria?" Jane asked. Daria ripped the page out of the pad, tore in quarters, then crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage.

"That one sucks." Daria noted, something she didn't expect herself to say. She had written plenty of violent revenge-fantasy before, some of them even with the man in the story, Finn, as the sufferer. Ones far more violent than the one she had written before.

Writing them had always given her a sense of self-satisfaction. But now, she felt sick to her stomach writing it.

"_What does that mean?" _Daria thought. "_Does this mean I don't think that's justice?" _

_

* * *

_

When Daria arrived home at the dinner table, the entire family had gathered. Jake was carefully cutting the lasagna into serving portions, while Helen talked on the phone with someone, probably from her office. Finn had a sour look on his face as he stared at the wall past Daria while jotting in his notepad.

"Oh, Daria, hello!" Helen called. "Eric, I really have to get going it's time for supper. What are we having? Well, lasagna of course. That ricotta is just so...what was that? Oh, Eric, I didn't know about that. Well, there are plenty of other things besides cheese to eat. Damn those doctors, right? Bye!" Helen hung up the phone.

"I take it his cholesterol is through the roof." Daria stated.

"He just needs to cut down on a few things, stop getting fast food. What did you do today, Daria?" Helen asked.

"I got an assignment due next week. I need to take real people and turn them into fictional ones."

"Really? That's quite fascinating. Make any progress?" Helen engaged.

"I did, but I didn't like it. So I threw it out."

"Another revenge fantasy?" Finn absently commented. Daria didn't answer him. He, of course, knew about her revenge fantasies. The gossip spread back in Highland, and the parents had wasted no time lecturing her about it.

"Well, Finn and I went to the mall together." Helen stated.

"That's great, honey!" Jake stated eagerly.

"Yeah." Finn commented dryly.

"We met a few of his friends." Helen continued. Finn shot his mother a dirty look, and it was clear to Daria that he did not enjoy himself today. Not that he ever enjoyed a day with his mother.

"_And to think, I could just follow those two around. Fudge the names, instant fictional story." _Daria thought. But she dismissed the thought. Her mother didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Finn did, but not her.

* * *

The family ate quietly, and Finn excused himself quickly.

"Daria, you seem down. Is the assignment not going well?"

"No, it's fine. I just don't want to rush it." Daria returned.

"Can I ask what you're planning?" Helen asked.

"It's a little too early for that." Daria stated.

"What did you try earlier that didn't work?" Helen asked.

"A story that didn't work. I'm going to go upstairs and brainstorm." Daria excused herself, and the two parents were sitting alone at the table.

"Hmmm..." Helen shut her eyes and started to think for a moment.

"It's starting to be light a lot earlier. Wonder if Finn's up for a game of catch." Jake started to stand up.

"Why don't you let me go up." Helen quickly started. "Have a piece of that carrot cake."

"But I don't like carrot cake!" Jake protested. Helen went up the stairs and knocked on Finn's door. She found him lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had a pencil in his hand, and the notepad he had been scribbling in was lying on his chest. He was so quiet that Helen wondered if he had fallen asleep. But she soon noticed his eyes were open.

"Finn." Helen stated. "Is something bothering you?"

"No, nothing is bothering me. What on Earth could possibly be bothering me." Finn commented without looking at his mother as he picked up the notepad with his free hand.

"_He doesn't want me to see it. There's no football in there, I'm sure of it." _Helen thought. She was willing to believe it contained all of his thought on Stacy: Rambled, disjointed words, maybe ideas on how to break her away from Sandi Griffin.

"Finn, you seem to like that girl Stacy a lot." Helen commented. Now Finn bolted up in his bed.

"How did you know?"

"You bolted up the second her name came out." Helen returned. Although Finn was a master of subtlety, he wasn't very good at hiding his emotions. One knew precisely how he felt.

"So what." Finn moaned.

"Finn, you know, you can always talk to me about these things. There's something about this girl that bothers you, doesn't it." Finn looked down for a moment at the covers on his bed.

"Well, it's really that girl Sandi. She puts Stacy down just to make herself feel good. And Stacy's really hurting under it. She doesn't say it, but I know."

"Finn, I know you can help her feel better if you just talk to her." Helen encouraged.

"I've been doing that for months." Finn returned to his standoffish tone.

"Finn, you're so used to flirting and enchanting girls that they're not taking you seriously." Helen noted. "You need to approach this in a more sensitive way."

"But I've tried that too! I've tried being serious and that doesn't work, I've tried flirting and that doesn't work. Everything just blows up the second that bitch opens her mouth!" Finn moaned.

"Finn, you're not listening. You need to really batten down and focus on this."

"I've been doing that!" Finn was angry.

"If you've been trying this hard and nothing has come of it, you can do more!" Helen exclaimed. "Attack your problems, that's what Daria does!"

"Daria!" Finn's voice in fury, and Helen realized her error.

"Finn..." Helen started.

"Daria this, Daria that. Why can't you be more like Daria!" Finn was furious. "Sorry I can't be more like your favorite child, Mom. Daria won't have a problem like this her whole life. It involves caring, and compassion, and wanting someone to be a better person. All Daria cares about is what new way she can hurt me and still look innocent. Jesus Christ, Mom. I'm going for a walk!" And Finn angrily stormed out of his room, down the steps, and out the front door.

"_Fantastic. As if he wasn't already furious with you." _Helen thought. She noticed that Finn had dropped his notepad in anger as he stormed out. She claimed it from the floor. While she read it, she saw page upon page of haphazard notes in Finn's poor penmanship. All of it was about Stacy. Compliments he tried to tell her; things that didn't work, apparently. Notes on styles she could wear, or that she should be wearing.

His notes were in-depth and clearly very researched. If Finn applied himself in school like he did here, why, he'd have grades just as good as Daria's.

"_Daria." _Helen cursed herself again as she realized she had just compared Finn to Daria again, and compared them as if Finn fell short. Did she always do that? Was Finn just a big disappointment to her?

"No!" Helen protested. "Finn is my son and he is a man of many talents and virtues!" She addressed her reflection in Finn's full-length mirror.

"_Now why can't you say that when he's around?" _Helen thought.

* * *

Finn walked until his anger calmed down, and soon he found himself at Jane's.

"Yo!" She smiled pleasantly, but her brow furrowed when she noticed Finn's depressed gaze.

"Hey, come on in." She offered. She led Finn into the kitchen.

"Want something?" She invited.

"Jane, you told me to be honest with Stacy, right?" Finn started.

"I think I said that." Jane returned.

"Well, I think I tried that, but it didn't work. Sandi just swallowed her whole."

"Sounds to me like it's Sandi that's the problem."

"Well, yeah." Finn agreed. "But if Sandi was gone, Tori or someone else would just fill her place. The girl needs a freaking spine."

"Assassination is no trouble, but surgery is something else. I suggest you ask someone far wiser, young Padawan." Jane teased.

"Thanks. Sorry if I'm bugging you with my problems."

"No big deal."

"Hey, you coming to my birthday?" Finn asked.

"Won't Daria be there?" Jane asked. The two chuckled after a brief pause.

"I'd come, but wouldn't Daria get suspicious. She'd be deadset on avoiding you, and that would mean she'd probably be over here."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Although, maybe if I told her I was taking Trent upstate for a gig..." Jane trailed off a moment.

"Sure, I'll come." Jane stated.

"Really!" Finn was excited.

"Sure. Your friends will still remember me. Maybe I'll take the black-haired one up on his date offer."

"That's Joey. You'll like him, he's blunt too. And don't worry about getting me a present. Just come to Pizza Palace after school."

"Sounds like fun." Jane smiled. Finn finally felt better, and got up to leave.

"Hey, Finn, remember what I said. Whose the smartest person you know?"

"Jodie Landon, probably."

"Ask someone older then her. Someone you really trust." Jane stated. Finn immediately knew the answer as he walked home. Aunt Rita, without a doubt, She was far older and would know about these things. She knew how women were. But he hadn't spoken or heard from her, at Finn's own insistence, for months following Erin's wedding. He didn't want to be angry with her, and maybe it was high time he spoke to her.

* * *

Daria sat at her desk, silently writing.

_The family quietly sat at the table, eating their meal. Frozen lasagna was hardly gourmet cuisine, but with two parents who worked full-time and the child a student, any sort of culinary treat was not to be expected.._

"_Did you have a great day at school?" The mother asked._

"_Eh, nothing special." The child, a girl of nearly sixteen, replied._

"_At least it was good, though, right?" The father elaborated._

"_Well, I suppose you would have to define good. It's not like people beat me up or anything. But I have some friends and I come home to a nice home with two parents. That's more then a lot of kids in the world get."_

"_How absolutely selfless of you." The mother stated with a smile as she wiped her mouth with a napkin._

"_Almost the perfect American family!" The dad stated eagerly. _

"_Maybe we need a puppy." The daughter stated. _

"_Absolutely not." The mother returned, although she knew the daughter was choking, and all three present shared in a laugh._

"_We've got the three of us. What more do we need? At least until I grow up." The daughter returned._

"_If it were up to me, I'd keep you forever. Having you was the greatest day of my life." The mother stated. _

"_Well, I'm kinda happy it happened to." The daughter returned. Again, the family laughed. The daughter kept quiet the thought that she knew both of her parents were thinking. After she was born, there was a complication with the surgery. Although both mother and daughter were fine, Mom would never have another child again. _

"_Are you disappointed that I'm your only child?" The daughter asked, even though she knew the answer._

"_Of course not!" The father returned with pure sincerity. "What more could I want? There are enough children in the world. If we wanted another, we would have adopted. Besides, who needs sibling rivalries." The father laughed outrageously. The mother followed. The daughter did not share in the laugh, but she smiled. She only knew of the horrors people in school talked of their younger or older siblings. She didn't need one. If the complications had not arisen, and a younger sibling was to be had, he would be nothing but trouble. No good would come of him. The perfect family would be destroyed._

_She returned to her lasagna, content in knowing what she knew all along. _

_

* * *

_

"Brilliant." Daria stated as she stared back at the computer screen. She looked at the passage for a long time, then hit the reset button on her computer without saving. The work lost, and Daria did not weep for it.

"Even when I deny his existence, Finn still defines my life." Daria sighed and slumped in her chair. "God, I really suck."

* * *

"Mr. O'Neill." Daria called. It was now Friday, two days until Finn's birthday, and the assignment was due next week. Daria had nothing to show for herself, and this bothered her. She never lacked in creativity before. Not that the work she had done already wasn't creative, but it meant absolute nothing to her. She couldn't write anything that was meaningful.

"Oh, Daria, how is the assignment coming!" The teacher asked eagerly.

"I wanted to talk to you about that." Daria replied. "I don't think I can do it."

"Oh no!" Mr. O'Neill fawned. "Having problems finishing?"

"Having problems starting. Everything I write is no good."

"Now that's not true, your writing is brilliant!" O'Neill praised, and Daria smiled for a brief second.

"But nothing I write has meaning to me. I think I'd be better off making a bunch of characters up."

"Even characters you make up are based on real people. There's just conglomeration, picking and choosing like a, well, shark I suppose." O'Neill sat on his desk.

"Oh. I guess I never thought of it that way." Daria noted. Did Mr. O'Neill, Timothy O'Neill, actually give her good advice regarding writing.

"_It had to happen sometime, I guess." _Daria thought.

"That...that makes sense. I just can't figure some things out." She finished.

"Having trouble choosing characters?"

"No, that's not the problem. I mean, one character kinda sticks out that I want to use."

"Oh, he must be very important to you." O'Neill noted.

"Hey!" Daria exclaimed

"Sorry, sorry!" The teacker backpedaled. "Anyway, perhaps maybe you're not showcasing the features you want properly. How about this. Forget using just real characters. Why don't you take just one real character, and make it his story. Everything else, completely up to you. Use another real character, or a fake one. Just make sure the true protagonist is the real one. "

"That...I think I can work with that." Daria noted.

"Wonderful. I'll be waiting come Monday for it!" Daria left the teacher's classroom. She still wasn't sure exactly what she could do, but the freedom made her feel a bit better.

It wasn't until she was walking home that she realized her first story was like that.

* * *

Finn was too scared to call Aunt Rita when he had gotten home from Jane's, so he waited until after school tomorrow. His hand shook with nervousness as he dialed the ten digits. Two rings, three. Then a voice picked up the phone.

"Barksdale residence." It was Erin's voice on the line.

"Erin, it's Finn." Finn answered. His heart was pounding in his chest, pounding so loudly he could hear it.

"Oh, Finn, how are you!" Erin stated pleasantly. Finn tried to calm himself down by talking with Erin, but found he was not able to.

"Did you want to talk to my mother? She is here." Erin offered.

"Yes." Finn's voice squeaked. He quickly cleared his throat.

"Yes, please." He delivered in his normal tone.

"Hold on." There was silence for a moment, and Finn had to sit down on his bed. He pulled the bottom of the handset away from his mouth so he could try and focus on calming his breathing.

"This is Rita, hello!" Rita answered.

"Aunt...Aunt Rita. Hello, it's Finn." Finn turned the handset back to his mouth. There was a brief moment of silence.

"Hello, Finn." Aunt Rita returned. "I'm a little surprised to hear from you. It's been months."

"I...I know, Aunt Rita." Finn returned. There was another brief silence between the two.

"Are you well?" Aunt Rita asked.

"I am. Yourself."

"I'm alright." The tension was making Finn extremely uncomfortable.

"Listen, Aunt Rita, I...uhh..." Finn started.

"Finn, I know you are angry with me." Rita stated.

"I'm...I'm over it." Finn stated. "I think so."

"You're not mad?" Rita asked.

"Of course I'm mad!" Finn stated. "You think I like things like that?"

"No." Rita admitted. "But Finn, how was I supposed to make it up to you if you won't answer my calls?"

"I...I don't know." Finn replied sadly. "It was...I was...Look, I should have picked up the phone. I'm...sorry, Aunt Rita."

"Alright, Finn. And I'm sorry I upset you at the wedding." Rita noted. Finn knew that Rita and his mother would fight again if they were in the same room, but he didn't want to stay mad at his aunt. Not forever.

"And what have you been doing, Finn?" Rita asked. Finn told her the story of Stacy again, and the tale of his mother at the mall.

"Seems to me like you already know what you need to do." Rita noted.

"Huh? No, I don't."

"Sure you do. You had the right idea in giving the girl a new wardrobe that flatters her, but unless she wears it properly and stands up to that girl, it won't be much of a difference." Rita explained.

"So...errr...how do I explain it to her? I tried being nice, I tried flirting, I've tried being serious."

"So try being intense. Get in her face and make her see it. It worked on you at the wedding." Rita noted. Finn was about to talk back, but then he realized she was right. It brought a reaction out of him ,after all.

"All right, I think I can give that a shot. Thanks, Aunt Rita. I gotta go work now."

"Goodbye, Finn." Rita hung up. Finn quickly picked up his wallet. He would need to stop by the mall before he went to Stacy's.

"_Hope you're home, Stacy. Hope your mom is not. It's time to stop kidding around." _

_

* * *

_

Daria returned home from the library in time to see Finn bolt out the door. She had no idea what he was doing, and neither did she care. She sat down at her computer and started to write again.

_The tall gentleman knocked on the door of the suburban house, and already his heart was skipping a beat._

"_Calm down." He told himself. "You've been wanting to do this for a while." The door opened and a teenaged boy with red hair answered the door._

"_Oh, hi!" He engaged pleasantly. He warmly invited the man in. He had never met him before, but the redhead knew who this was._

"_He's here!" He called up the stairs._

"_It's nice to meet you." The redhead engaged._

"_A...a pleasure." The stranger noted. _

"_No, no. It's all mine. I always wanted to meet the guy who makes my big sister happy."_

"_I wasn't aware she talked about me."_

"_Don't be silly!" The redhead returned. "Our parents want to meet you so bad, and so do I."_

"_Your sister does talk about you sometimes." The man noted._

"_Well, that's my sister for you!" The redhead cheered. "If only chess club and debates had cheerleaders. But I'm content just to be a member of the audience!" _

"_Aren't you a football player?" The man asked._

"_Sure, sure." The redhead noted. "But my sister's the one with the brains. If only I could be half as smart as her." As if on cue, the sister the redhead fawned over descended the stairs. From the kitchen emerged two parents. _

"_Oh, you must be Scott." The mother smiled._

"_It's nice to meet you." The father shook the man's hand._

"_Yes, it's an absolute pleasure." Scott returned. _

"_Oh, you're staying for dinner, aren't you?" The redhead pleaded._

"_I wasn't planning on it." Scott returned. _

"_He can have mine." The redhead returned. "Any boyfriend of yours is always welcome in my book!" _

"_You don't need to do that." Scott noted._

"_Oh, I insist. Nothing but the best for my big sister. After all, I'm paid back by making her happy, aren't I?" The redhead blissfully smiled as he thought of the dinner he would skip out on. People could live nearly a month without eating, and he had already eaten breakfast today anyway. It was far more important for Scott to meet the parents, and spend time with his sister. Their happiness was the most important thing to him. _

_

* * *

_

Daria read the passage again. She felt satisfied as she wrote the passage, and when she read it again, there was still a sense of self-importance. But she read it a third time, then hit Control, Alt, and Delete twice to forcibly reset her computer.

"_I can't write a single meaningful story. What the hell is wrong with me?" _

_

* * *

_

After Finn bought a clothing ensemble at Cashman's, he made a quick detour to cosmetics in order to select appropriate makeup. The lady at the counter was surprised when she saw how Finn expertly made his selections, but when she heard him utter the name 'Stacy' under his breath, she seemed to be a lot less weirded out. Shopping bag in hand, Finn managed to quickly make his way over to the Rowe residence. To his luck, there didn't appear to be any cars in the driveway or the garage, and Stacy's light was on upstairs.

He rang the doorbell. After a minute, Stacy opened the door.

"Oh, uh...hi, Finn." Stacy replied nervously. Finn pushed his way inside.

"Err...I'm not supposed to have boys..." Stacy started, but Finn put his finger to her lips and shushed her.

"Don't talk. Follow." He dragged Stacy up to her room.

"Sit." He ordered Stacy to sit at her vanity. The girl seemed nervous, but did not protest such a forceful order, and sat down. Finn immediately set to work on Stacy's appearance. Mascara, lipstick, blush, Finn styled the woman expertly. Even though he had never done anything like this before, he knew what the result would look like as he worked, and could touch up accordingly.

Once he finished making her up, he instructed Stacy to put on the outfit he had selected for her.

"Change." He ordered.

"Uhhh...Finn, what's going on?" Stacy finally worked up the courage to ask.

"Something that should have been done a long time ago. It'll make sense when you change." Finn stated. He stepped out of the room so Stacy could change. After a few minutes, he made his way back in. Stacy was wearing the ensemble Finn had selected for her when he was at the mall with his mom, an ensemble he had just purchased today before he got here.

"_I'll have to change her hair too. She needs to let it down. But first..." _Finn pointed Stacy at the mirror.

"What do you think? I was thinking Foxy Brown meets the Mod Squad." Finn noted.

"I'm...I'm...beautiful." Stacy noted. "I never even tried an outfit like this. I mean I thought something like this would look good, but Sandi said it didn't show enough skin and that it looked boyish."

"Less is more, sometimes." Finn replied. "But, think about it for a moment. This ensemble works, doesn't it. And you thought it would, Sandi didn't. Looking in the mirror now, who was right?"

"Uhhh..." Stacy started. Even when it was right in front of her, she still had trouble mouthing the words.

"You were." Finn insisted rather forcefully. "You were right. But you know something, you can't pull this outfit off."

"Huh? But you just said..." Stacy started.

"You can't because the second you walk into school, Sandi will cut you down, you'll shrink inside it, then you'll slouch, and the satin will wrinkle and that will be it. You'll look like you're about to streak at a football game." Stacy shuddered at Finn.

"But there is a way to pull it off, and if you can, all the guys will line up to date you. You'll be the reigning Queen of Lawndale's freshman-soon-to-be-sophomore class. Do you want to pull it off?"

"Ummm...yeah. How can I pull it off."

"You need good posture. Shoulders up, arched back, look people in the eye." Finn pulled up Stacy's chin so she could look into his eyes.

"But you need to look any doubters in the eye and put them in their place. People who trash on you are just trying to make themselves look better by comparison. It's an old trick. To truly look good, it's not just what you wear, it's how you wear it."

Finn stood behind Stacy.

"Who is the most beautiful girl in the Fashion Club? You've seen Sandi at her best, Tiffany at her best, and now here's you. Who is the most beautiful?"

"M-me?" Stacy asked meekly.

"What the hell was that?" Finn asked. "Mean it!"

"Me." Stacy was still quiet.

"Louder!"

"Me."

"What the hell is with those nerves."

"Me! I look good." Stacy smiled.

"And will you look this good on Monday?" Finn asked. "When school comes around, will you wear this outfit and stride into the school head high?"

"Yes! The boys will love it!"

"You know that Sandi will not approve of this outfit." Finn noted. "Can you tell her that she is wrong right to her face. In front of a crowd. If you can do that, Stacy, you'll be thankful for it. You'll be thankful when the boys are asking you to coffee. And when other girls ask you if their mascara is too thick, or if their lipstick is not the best shade. And even when you're much older. You've told me many times I'm the handsomest guy you know, but really, I'm only given so much. It's always been how you work it. Always. That's a designer's secret. And those fools at _Waif, _they eat it up." Stacy was enchanted by Finn, and she was looking at herself in the mirror. Without even asking Finn, she brought her hands up to her hair and let her pigtails down. Stacy kept looking in the mirror, holding her hair up, trying to determine what style would be the most suited.

"_That's the step." _Finn thought, as he disappeared. Now, he needed to wait for Monday. That would be the time, and on Finn's own birthday, no less. She would either stand up for herself, or she never would.

* * *

When Helen arrived home, she noticed Daria sitting on the living room couch, staring at the turned-off TV. Her face was blank and expressionless as she watched the black screen.

"Daria?" Helen asked. Daria didn't even acknowledge her.

"Is something wrong?" Helen asked politely. Again, there was no reply.

"Is that assignment not going well?" Helen asked. Daria, noticing her mother was not going to give up, turned to face her.

"My entire writing life is a lie." Daria noted.

"Why?" Helen asked.

"I can't write a simple story."

"Sure you can, you've written dozens, maybe even hundreds by now." Helen noted.

"Nothing I write means anything to me. It just makes me feel empty."

"Daria, would I be wrong in guessing I know who you are writing about?" Helen posed. Daria looked at her, and saw the look on her face. And Daria knew that Helen knew.

"Would I also be wrong in guessing that the story didn't end well for him?" Helen continued. Daria nodded.

"Daria." Helen returned. "Didn't I tell you a while back there's a difference between satisfaction and a cheap thrill?"

"I think so."

"So why are you going for the thrill. Just because you can do whatever you want in a story you write doesn't mean that you should try for cheap thrills."

"They weren't all cheap thrills. I thought I was getting something I wanted in the last two."

"And what were they?" Helen asked. "Actually, don't answer, it doesn't matter. Clearly that wasn't what you wanted. Daria, have you ever tried being honest about your own desires for once?"

"I thought I was doing that."

"Possibly you thought that." Helen noted. "But even then, you were going for the cheap thrill. You're letting your other emotions get in the way. You're not being truly honest about your wishes if you're letting pride get in the way." Daria didn't answer, she truly had no idea what to say.

"How about this. Be honest with yourself. Take this one character, look at him objectively, and ask yourself what you really want from him. What do you want from him? What do you want for him? Therein lies the challenge. And then, well, you know how to write an exciting story." Helen finished. Daria let the words sink in.

"Did you and Finn have a fight yesterday?" Daria asked.

"You heard that?"

"Just the shouting."

"Don't be so quick to condemn him. We were both at fault." Daria said nothing, but started thinking for a moment.

"I think I know what I'm going to do."

"Let me take a read when you finish." Helen offered pleasantly. Daria looked at her mother strangely. Was this just parental bonding, or did Helen pick up on Daria's subtext? She'd find out once the story was done.

* * *

Daria stared at her computer screen for a quiet moment after she talked with her mother. Before Helen had spoken to her, Daria was convinced to just write a story where Finn hadn't been mentioned at all, but trying that gave her the same problems as the second story: he crept back into her mind.

"_What do I want from him? What do I want for him?" _Daria echoed her mother's words in her mind. The simplest answer was 'to suffer' but Daria knew that held no appeal for her. At the beginning of the school year, doing things to make Finn suffer was both normal and healthy. Now it wasn't. Age? The fact that Finn wasn't around much now since he was in high school? Spending time with Jane? Many valid reasons, and probably more then one option.

It was a hard prospect, to forget everything Finn had done to her in the past, and even to forget the things that she did to him. Daria was not ashamed to admit that it was a two-way street between the two of them when it came to making the other miserable.

Daria shut her eyes, took in a few deep breaths, and then started to write.

* * *

_Melody Powers sat in the pavilion, quietly keeping her eyes peeled as the sun started to set. The meeting was supposed to be for 6:30, and Melody, magazine in hand was trying to look nonchalant. Not that there was an overly obvious purpose; there was no one here. It seemed the citizens had little, if any, use for the park at this time of year. _

_She sighed. The waiting was the part that bothered her the most about her life as a spy. Her hands twitched whenever they were still. She could steady them for a task, but no task meant no focus._

_The quiet sunset told no stories of the day that had passed, but Melody had learned much when that ball of fire was high in the sky. Another day, another plot to destroy part of the world. Whether it was some ego-driven superiority quest, a genocidal rampage, or yet another difference in opinion gone horribly sour, Melody knew that the world was stirring again, and soon she would be called upon to do her thing. Her thing of saving the world. _

_It seemed this lunatics were everywhere, turning their lifetimes of hate, pain, and resentment into violent ends. This year alone, Melody had stopped the ambitions of two megalomaniacal corporate heads, the creator of a supervirus, one power-mad preacher, and a really pissed off woman who decided to "purge" the world of all males. And of course, scores upon scores of Communists, who spread like the clap. Not a shabby resume, Melody chuckled. And it was only April. _

_And all of those lunatics seemed so....normal, at the time. A little annoyed, zealous, too quick to judge others, but not crazy. _

_She sighed as she watched the sun slowly start to set. Sometimes Melody wondered if it's fire would just purify the world of all of it's ills. Impossible, but no reason not to dream for a moment. _

_She heard a voice, and Melody's hand quick darted to her hip, where the pancake holster filled with her .45 lay. But there was no need for it. The perpetrator was a man, definitely not Melody's contact. He had red hair with slight tinges of silver around his temples. He was a tall man, tall and strong. Melody thought she had seen his face before._

_And she recognized him once he turned his face to face her. This was Finn Morgendorffer, the owner of the very successful company Energix, which pioneered the way for creating an alternative energy based on the fusion of nuclear atoms. _

_Corporate suits were some of the first people to become corrupt, which eventually led to having Melody being called in. So Melody approached the man apprehensively. _

"_Oh." Finn noticed her with shock. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting someone to be here. Did I startle you?" He asked politely._

"_No." Melody returned flatly._

"_Okay." He returned to watching the sun set over the water._

"_Have you ever seen such a lovely sunset before?" He asked her. Sunsets all looked the same to Melody. But somehow, she found herself answering in the affirmative._

"_I knew it!" He smiled. _

"_Oh, it's so wonderful. Painted by divine hands!" He smiled wistfully as he looked out over the water. _

"_I'm so happy. Today I learned my Kelly and I are having twins."_

"_That's...that's nice." Melody noted. She cared nothing for children.._

"_Oh, my life is so wonderful." Finn stated in blissful serenity. "I've got two parents that love me to death, my wife who is partner, friend and lover, children on the way, and a company that makes everyone's lives a bit easier. What more could I ever want." The man spoke to the sunset. Melody now remembered his name further: Finn Morgendorffer was known to be one of the world's greatest philanthropists. Energix made him quite the rich man, and he was often traveling the world, doing the next feel-good public service project. He did the real work too, not just dress in a suit and a hard hat and pose for a picture. He slogged in mud up to his waist to help irrigate a system of water to a remote village in China, rescued hurricane survivors with his own helicopter, when others thought it too risky to go, and other works that would make normal billionaires wrinkle their noses in disgust._

"_I suppose even billionaires can be like that." Melody thought. _

"_Well, I have to get going. I'm sorry if I acted like an arrogant snob." The man stated. He turned away from the sunset and walked away from Melody. As he walked, Melody noticed the slight limp in his gait. And then she remembered why she really knew Finn Morgendorffer. About ten years ago, there was a summit meeting on alternative energy. This was where Energix had revealed their prototype design of nuclear fusion. During the meeting, Communists had stormed the building, and taken the scientists and their corporate backers in attendance hostage. Melody and her partner were called upon to save the day, just as usual. Saving the day took time, however, and in the meantime, people were interrogated, tortured, and slain. It seemed that, even with something as simple as alternative energy, some people could only see it's use as a weapon._

_Finn was in attendance at the meeting, of course, being the owner of Energix. He was originally not considered by the Communists to be worth interrogating, being merely a corporate sponsor. But Finn lied and deceived them into thinking he was a scientist. The Communists interrogated him forcefully, and he took it all in stride, enduring abuse after abuse, until Melody and her partner had arrived. After the man was rescued, Melody had asked him why he did such a foolish and dangerous thing. _

"_It's called being a leader. You look out for your people." The man noted before he eventually passed out from the pain. She didn't think he would ever recover from such abuse. _

_But here he was, smiling, enjoying life, showing a devoted love to people who hadn't even been born yet. He, who had suffered first-hand at the worst humanity had to offer, did not let it poison his heart like so many others did. _

_When the sun set, Melody's contact arrived, and soon she would start the bitter work of killing in the name of peace. But until that sun set, Melody, who knew nothing other than the world's petty vices, thought that, just maybe, humanity wasn't just a group of sinners waiting to snap. _

_

* * *

_

Helen read the entire story, and not a single word escaped her lips.

"Oh, Daria." Helen's eyes teared up a bit.

"Sorry, it's not really good." Daria stated. But instead, Helen hugged her daughter. It was definitely an extreme story, but such was fiction. Helen could easily see the real meaning behind the story: Happiness, virtue, and selfless devotion, no matter how grim things got.

There was one part of the story that Helen truly thought was perfect however: the thought that Finn would know his mother loved him, and could freely admit that to a stranger. That was what she truly wanted.

It was strange of Helen to find inspiration in a fictional story about Communists about her son, she thought, but she knocked on her son's door, and it pushed open to her knocks. Finn was lying on his side, staring at the wall.

"Finn?" Helen stated.

"Yeah?" He asked, not looking away from the wall.

"Is there something on the wall?" Helen asked.

"Interesting wall." Finn commented sarcastically. There was a period of silence.

"I'm just trying to get that mean Daria cynical voice thing down. Think it might be easier if I tried to grow boobs first." He commented in a sour tone.

"Finn, I'm sorry I said that to you." Helen apologized.

"Whatever. I'm used to it." Finn continued to look at the wall.

"Finn, I'm not perfect. We all make mistakes."

"I'm not six, mom, I know you aren't perfect." Finn returned.

"Finn, I apologized for what I said. I already have Daria, I don't need another."

"Good to know you can squeeze me in somewhere." Finn noted.

"Finn, I'm trying to apologize to you. I'm offering to help you with that whole Stacy thing. Can you at least look at me?" Helen asked. Finn paused for a moment, then turned around on his bed to face her. His eyes were sunken and heavy, and he looked positively exhausted. But he didn't look upset.

"You're a little late for that." Finn returned. "I was already over there."

"Oh, did it work?"

"I'll find out come Monday." Finn stated. There was silence between the two of them for a moment, and Helen wasn't sure about where to go from here.

"Is that it?" Finn asked. Helen wanted to tell him that what she told herself in the mirror, that she thought he was a wonderful person. Would he even believe her? Would he think it was just another Daria comparison?

"Yes, Finn. I'm glad to know you sorted it out."

"Thanks." Finn sighed. Helen stood up to leave the room.

"_Thanks for nothing." _Finn thought once she left the room.

* * *

It had stormed rather violently on Sunday night, and, while the rain had abated by school on Monday, it was both cloudy and damp at the front of Lawndale.

A car drove up to the front of Lawndale High. Trent was driving it. Finn marveled at how easy it was to get the man to wake up in the morning. It only cost him ten bucks, a set of new guitar strings, and changing the time on his alarm clock.

The back door of the car opened, and a long, beautiful leg in tight jeans stepped onto the sidewalk. The rest of the body soon followed. The leg's owner gently shut the door of the car, and strode towards the door of the school as it sped away.

As she walked, she couldn't help but notice all of the eyes upon her. They saw a short, but grand, woman wearing a halter top and tight jeans. To cover her shoulders and follow the dress code, she wore an open trench coat, that also served to hide her shoulder's slight asymmetry.

But even her attire wasn't the reason the boys of Lawndale were looking at her. She walked with her back erect, and strode confidently down the hallway. The men were intrigued, and started to follow her.

The woman made her way towards a familiar locker, where Sandi Griffin and Tiffany Blum-Deckler were fussing over their eyelashes. When Tiffany turned away from the mirror, she locked eyes with the woman.

"Whoa!" She replied in her slow monotone. Hearing Tiffany's exclamation, Sandi turned to look.

"Huh?" Sandi looked at the woman.

"Hi, Sandi." The woman replied with familiarity.

"Stacy." Tiffany recognized her. "What an outfit."

"Do you like it?" Stacy asked. "It's a new week, and it's Finn's birthday, so I thought I'd try something new."

"Gee, Stacy, I wasn't aware that you were about to run naked at a football game. That is all a trench coat is for." Sandi criticized. Part of Stacy felt like contracting into her coat like a cocoon. But instead, she rode her gaze to meet Sandi's eyes.

"You think so? Because this look really accentuates my neck and makes it look longer. And it goes really well with these jeans." Sandi was surprised at the retort.

"Stacy, you look really pretty." One of the guys stated sheepishly.

"Why, thank you." Stacy addressed the boy, then returned her gaze to Sandi.

"And you eyeshadow..." Sandi started.

"Mauve is such a lovely color, wouldn't you agree?" Stacy interrupted Sandi, something she had never done before.

"Your eyes are so..." Another guy trailed off. "They're just really pretty." The man lost control of his vocabulary, and could barely get out his generic compliment. Other guys, and even a few girls, started to shower praises on Stacy.

"Would mauve work for me?" A junior girl asked Stacy. Stacy looked at the girl's eyes.

"Dark colors do work for you, but jade would compliment your eyes better." Stacy answered confidently.

"Stacy!" Sandi insisted.

"Is something wrong, Sandi?" Stacy asked pleasantly, but her eyes reflected a will Sandi had never before seen. She opened her mouth to talk, but someone else started to ask Stacy for fashion advice.

"This is a serious violation of Fashion Club bylaws." Sandi was starting to get frustrated

"Aren't we supposed to comment on outfits?" Stacy asked. "And they have very specific questions."

"The secretary is supposed to defer to the President on all things fashion-related."

"Sandi, you're the one who stated that light colors would be in this season, but it's quite clear that darker, bold colors are what is in." Stacy dared. Sandi's eyes widened.

"Well, if that's how it is going to be, I'm not sure there will be a place in the Fashion Club for you." Sandi delivered, trying to coy the girl.

"Hey, Sandi, knock it off." The girl who asked about eye shadow commented. "Stacy's better at this then you are. Why should we listen to you?"

"You're just a bitch!" The vocabulary-challenged guy, seemingly recovered from his condition, added.

"Now, now, we don't need language." Stacy showed kindness, but a sly smile towards Sandi let her know just what she really thought.

"Hey, Stacy, do you need an escort to Finn's party after school today?" A senior boy asked. The group of students clustered around Stacy as she walked down the hallway.

"Hey, Stacy, wait for me." Tiffany left Sandi and started to chase after Stacy.

* * *

And, eavesdropping from a nearby corner, Finn watched the entire scene unfold, and he finally felt satisfied. He was planning on skipping school today. It was his birthday, and Stacy needed a day in the limelight to herself.

As he walked out of the school and started to aimlessly wander towards Lawndale, he looked towards the sun, and felt a strange happiness he had never felt before. He would have normally thought he was being a chump. After all, he spent nearly $200 on all that stuff he bought for Stacy, and there were no gifts or anything in return. That was the kind of crap Sandi pulled.

But this didn't feel that way. Perhaps it was just for people like Stacy, who were few and far in between. But there was a certain joy in sacrifice. The payoff was Stacy's confidence, not some pair of new boots.

And Finn's smile did not abate the entire day.


	17. Through Your Eyes

"_Ah, sophomore year, the things you do for Finn." _Finn thought to himself after he returned home. It hadn't been long since school resumed from summer break, and Finn's popularity only got higher ever since it happened. The senior girls were a bit flaky, standoffish, and thought themselves better, and now the bitches were gone. The now-current grade of senior girls already knew who Finn was, and they were less inclined to be like that. And of course, a new wave of freshmen to give the old smiles and winks too.

And if that wasn't enough, the fact that he and Stacy were close only heightened things further. While Miss Rowe still retained some insecurities, she had been a very apt pupil, and she dated almost as much as Finn did. And Finn's own status as her friend only rose his own popularity, just as his own status helped her. Truly, it was a mutually beneficial relationship for the both of them.

"_I guess Mom was right. There is such a thing as long-term gain." _Finn thought. He grabbed himself a soda and then went upstairs to his room. After rushing through his homework, he started to get his outfit ready for his date tonight. This was a new girl, a cute, rich freshman girl. And Finn had to work the charms right the first time. Which, of course, meant the right outfit. Finn knew that this girl liked deep blue, and her eyes were brown, so his shirt was easy to decide. As he was choosing pants, there was a knock on his door. When he bade the person to enter, he discovered that it was Daria.

"Oh, Daria? What are you doing here?" Finn asked.

"Err...Finn?" Daria asked.

"Yes, I'm Finn. All right, come in." Finn sighed. He let Daria into his room.

"I...uhhh...I need your advice on something."

"Advice?" Finn immediately became suspicious. "Wait a minute...where's the wire? This isn't going to be one of those sting things is it? Well, nothing doing, I haven't done anything bad this week. We just had that rum party last week and, oh my God, it's on tape now!"

"Finn, I'm not trying to get your grounded." Daria calmed him. Finn started breathing heavily.

"I need..."

"You need a favor? Well, you know how this works." Finn slyly extended his hand for a bribe.

"It's not that. I need...your opinion."

"This is a trick, isn't it?"

"No, Finn, I need honest advice from someone who knows a thing or two about well, looking good."

"Daria, when have you ever cared about...oh my God, you have a crush don't you!" Finn nearly squealed.

"No!" Daria was forceful.

"When they deny it like that, it always means yes." Finn smiled. "So you want some tips on how to impress a man? No wonder you came to me."

"That's not what this is about!" Daria insisted.

"Okay, fine, we'll do it the pretentious way. So tell me about this friend of yours and this boy she likes." Finn accented the word friend. Daria was not amused.

"What if she was very well known for not caring what others thought, and then she did something that says she does. Does that make you a hypocrite?"

"Huh? People's minds change all the time." Finn stated, Daria's comment going clear over his head.

"Should I get contacts?"

"Contacts? Well, duh." Finn noted. "I mean, some men find glasses attractive but only the slim lens, and really, those guys are usually into older women anyway, and I mean older older, like people Mom's age."

"Ew." Daria stated.

"Hey, girls have even more disgusting ones." Finn noted. "I heard these two girls talking once about...oh my god! Anyway, back to the contacts. It's really important to consider that because of the lenses, you can change your eye color to pretty much everything you want."

"Finn, I..."

"My eyes are blue, and blue's great because they go with pretty much everything. Green's nice too, but not too deep a green because of your hair. We could go exotic, though. Yeah, now that I think about it, you want something that's going to keep his attention. What about purple...Yeah, I kinda like that."

"Finn, they're just for..."

"Now that we have purple eyes down pat, we'll need to work on hair and makeup. I don't have makeup here, of course, and I doubt the stuff you have will be enough. I'll have to call Stacy. She knows what you look like, and we'll work it out. Daria, we will land you, I mean your friend, that man yet!" Finn cheered. Daria stared at him strangely, then bolted from the room.

"Daria, wait up!" Finn called. "It's not going to hurt! Unless we need to tweeze."

* * *

At the table, Finn was quietly eating while Jake read the morning paper. Daria had just finished her meal and had left the house, while Helen was just sitting down.

"So, you got a postcard from Aunt Amy?" Finn looked at the postcard from the table. After the wedding, his opinion of her had changed slightly, but she was still pretty unpleasant.

"What? Oh yes, she was in Hawaii." Finn answered.

"Can we go to Hawaii?" Finn asked.

"No!" Helen insisted. "Finn, we can't afford vacations like that. And Amy only sent that in spite anyway. Besides, like she could see that camera without her glasses."

"Isn't she wearing contacts?" Finn asked.

"Speaking of contacts, did you know Daria's considering them for driving?" Helen asked.

"Because her glasses stop her from seeing sideways?" Finn asked.

"Close enough." Helen noted.

"What's to discuss? She wants them, she gets them. She doesn't, she doesn't."

"Because she thinks that it's somehow contradicting her moral values."

"What on Earth could be the problem? Seriously, you want them to drive so you don't do awful things like run over puppies. Unless she wants to run over puppies. I knew it, Mom, I told you she liked hurting puppies!" Finn stated.

"Finn, this isn't about hurting puppies. Daria, well, Daria..." Helen trailed off.

"You ticked her off, didn't you?" Finn noted. Helen didn't reply, and silence spoke louder this time around.

"Well, I think I hear her back." Helen noted as she heard the door open.

"Can I get contacts?" Finn asked.

"You don't need them."

"I wanna see what I'd look like with green eyes." Finn smiled.

"This isn't about vanity, Finn. This is about driving."

"Didn't you tell Daria that getting contacts would make her more approachable, like, a few months ago?"

"She can still wear her glasses if she wants to."

"Sure, Mom. Sure." Finn stood up to wash his dishes.

* * *

Daria was not home when Finn arrived home that Saturday. He had been over at Jane's, so she couldn't have been over there, or out with the artist. Although he wanted to tell Jane about Daria and the idea of contacts, the two of them made it a point not to discuss Daria unless it was important, and Jane probably already knew about it.

Finn started on an essay he had due the next day, but not long after he started, the downstairs door opened. He ignored it until there was a knock on his door. Finn turned around to see Daria standing in the doorway.

"A-ha, back for the treatment? They always come back."

"When I want to bag a man, I'll use a hunting rifle like a normal person." Daria returned. There was silence for a moment. And then, Finn realized something.

"You aren't wearing your glasses, are you?" Finn noted. Sure enough, the standard wide frames weren't around her eyes.

"No."

"They break or something?"

"No, I got contacts."

"Oh! Well, looks like..." Finn started.

"They're for driving." Daria corrected.

"Mom did mention that." Finn returned. "So, uhhh, why are you wearing them now?"

"I haven't taken them out yet." Daria noted quickly, almost too quickly.

"Oh, well, enjoy them, I guess." Finn returned. Daria left the room a minute later.

* * *

On Monday, Daria went to school without her glasses on.

"_Her contacts again?" _Finn thought. Now something seemed a little different. If Daria just wanted contacts for driving, why wouldn't she wear her glasses here.

"_Practice, I guess." _Finn had dated girls wearing contacts before, and apparently, they were not easy to put in. One girl told him that putting the one in her right eye took no time at all, but her left was a nightmare to get in.

No one seemed to care, not that Finn expected them too. Contacts or no, Daria was known in the school for her acid tongue more than her glasses. And they didn't have contacts to change that. When Finn saw Mack and Jodie and walked with them down the hall, the only thing those two talked about was Mack mentioning the game against Oakwood, and Jodie asked Finn's opinion on school spending. No talk was about Daria at all.

"Hey." A voice called to Finn from behind him as he was about to enter his last period of the day. He turned around to discover Jane.

"Jane?" Finn asked. The two never hung out together at school. Gossip might spread, and reach back to Daria. Finn was still surprised how they managed to keep their friendship a secret for the months it had been, but they wouldn't continue that way by being careful.

But Jane knew this. In fact, secrecy was Jane's idea. If she knew this, and did it anyway, there was a problem.

"What's up?" Finn asked politely.

"Were Daria's contacts irritating her today?" Jane asked.

"I don't see her during school; she was fine at home." Finn noted.

"Cause she had to take them out last period."

"Oh?" Finn wondered. "So, she just wears her glasses."

"She didn't bring them." Jane noted.

"Ah. Well, her sight is pretty crappy without her glasses. When she doesn't have them on, I've gotten away making all sorts of rude...well, anyway. What's the concern? Why tell me about it?"

"She's been acting weird all day." Jane noted. "She seems to think that, somehow, she's become a sellout."

"To what?"

"The system. You know, wearing contacts to make herself more attractive." Jane noted. Finn suppressed a laugh. This was funny. Daria supposedly never cared what anyone ever said to her. And now she wanted to look better?

"There is a boy involved, isn't there?" Finn teased.

"Not that I know. Well, except maybe Trent."

"Huh?"

"Trent, my brother, remember. She has a crush on him. Anyway, that's not the reason. She said she got the contacts for driving and I believe her."

"Hm...and she wore them to school because?" Finn asked. Jane didn't have an answer.

* * *

Daria stayed in her room all night following the day, and Finn had no desire to barge into her room and discuss contacts. She was probably wearing her glasses, and would be tomorrow. Finn didn't really know that much about contacts, but Daria wouldn't put something in her eye if it was irritating her, like Jane said they were.

"_So what's the problem. Put your glasses back on." _Finn commanded. Daria wouldn't care about fashion or appearance. She was one of those types. Why was this so complicated for her.

* * *

The next morning, Finn rolled out of bed earlier then usual. Bleary eyed, he walked towards the bathroom. He had woken up early, he might as well have gotten a shower. When he got to the bathroom, the door was open. However, the bathroom was not unoccupied. Daria was sitting at the mirror. Her glasses were in one hand, but she was looking into the mirror, pulling the skin below her eye down. Was she just looking at herself in the mirror, or putting the contacts in.

Probably the latter, as Daria started to walk out the door, where she proceeded to collide straight into Finn.

"Hey!" Finn complained.

"Whoops. Sorry." Daria commented. She moved past him as Finn entered the bathroom.

"_She must still be half-asleep. Don't you want to wake up first before you put contacts in?" _Finn thought as he pulled his boxers off and started up the shower.

* * *

After his shower, Finn got dressed and headed downstairs to eat breakfast. He wasn't there long before Daria entered the kitchen.

"Daria, can you get the milk?" Finn asked.

"Get it yourself." Daria returned.

"No need to be nasty. You're right at the fridge." Finn returned. Daria moaned.

"We're out of milk." Daria returned.

"Daria, you're looking in the freezer." Finn returned. He quickly put two and two together.

"You aren't wearing your contacts, are you?" Finn laughed. Daria's face went white as she tried to glare at him.

"This is too much." Finn laughed from the table.

"I'll put them in later."

"Daria, you need them to see basic stuff."

"The contacts were irritating my eyes. Badly." Daria noted.

"Okay, so why not wear the glasses?" Finn asked. "I mean it's not like they don't work or anything."

"Well..." Daria trailed off. Finn noticed she refused to answer him.

"You should really do something. You're going to hurt someone if you go to class without them." Finn noted. Daria was about to say something when she heard the doorbell.

"That's Jane, no time."

"At least grab your glasses." Finn instructed.

"I'll get them when I get my backpack." And Daria bolted from the room without another word. Finn silently finished the rest of his breakfast, and found himself puzzled. What was so strange with Daria today?

Finn was willing to bet that when Daria left with Jane, her glasses would not be with her.

* * *

At school, Finn's suspicions were quickly confirmed by catching a glimpse of Daria walking to her second period without her glasses. Jane was serving as a guide, but he thought he caught Jane say something about Daria simply being blurry.

"_Jane thinks she still has the contacts in." _Finn concluded. That could be the only reasonable thing to draw.

This made absolutely no sense to Finn. Daria wore no makeup, not even to formal events. The only time she did was when the parents forced her. She would not go blind for the sake of her looks. That was stupid, even for people who were involved in fashion. After all, it hardly made a good first impression to smack someone when reaching for a handshake.

* * *

He had to question her about this. This was pure gold. He found her beside her locker. Jane had apparently departed for the bathroom or something, for Daria was waiting anxiously for her.

"Hey, blind girl!" Finn stated.

"Finn, go away." Daria sneered.

"Waiting for your seeing eye dog?" Finn taunted.

"Get the hell away!"

"I figure someone has to watch you. You've been banging into so many people, it's not looking good. Contacts still blurry, or did you just forget them like you forgot your glasses." Finn noted. Daria sighed.

"Well, fine, if you must be accurate. I'm not wearing my glasses or my contacts." Daria admitted.

"Why? Seriously, Daria, your sight is not very good. How do you even do your work?"

"Teachers love the sound of their own voices. It's not as hard as you think."

"Look, Daria, why are you doing this? I get that your eyes were too irritated to wear the contacts, so why not just wear your glasses and at least not collide into people like Upchuck? He still has a smile on his face."

"Finn, the last person I would talk about this with is you." Daria noted.

"I already know about it." Finn stated. "I mean, it can't be because you care about the way you look and you're worried that glasses make you look like a geek. So, what is it?" Finn asked. Daria's face started to turn slightly white, and Finn picked up on it.

"No way, I'm right!" Finn started to laugh.

"Oh, this is too much. It's so funny, it hurts." Finn grabbed his sides as he laughed.

"Go ahead, laugh." Daria noted. Her tone was not sarcastic, but rather inviting.

"Gee, what's the problem?" Finn asked.

"I'm a sellout. I'm letting pride and vanity get in the way of common sense. This must be what it feels like to be you."

"Nah, I'm also good-looking." Finn replied quickly. To his surprise, though, Daria actually looked sad, and Finn did not feel good about taunting her. Even with one of her insults to disguise it, Finn could tell this actually bothered her.

"Oh, come on, you can't possibly be upset that because you actually wanted to look better then you usually do, that makes you a hypocrite. Daria, you're not the freaking Pope."

"Does the Pope wear glasses?" Daria asked.

"Daria." Finn returned.

"Finn, you don't get it. I let people define me by my morals and principles, not by looks. You wouldn't understand, you don't have morals."

"I have morals!" Finn protested. "And what principles do you have, anyway? Blind or not, you're still a bitch!" Finn stormed off in a huff.

* * *

Several periods passed, and Finn found himself calming down. It wasn't until just after lunch that Finn noticed what happened again. He was leaving the lunchroom when he was stopped by Jane.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Jane asked. Finn was about to make a comment about Daria's blindness, but he recalled that Jane did not know about it. He kept it to himself.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"It's Daria." Jane returned. "I take it you've noticed she's not wearing her glasses."

"Or her contacts." Finn stated. She knew, definitely.

"So you do know."

"I've known all day." Finn informed Jane of what happened between the two in the morning.

"I don't see what the problem is." Finn stated. "I mean, seriously. So she wants to ditch her glasses to look better. No problem with that."

"It's the principle of the thing, she said." Jane stated. "Hey, Daria busts on you all the time, right?"

"It's the background noise of my life." Finn stated. "Though it's not just me. She busts on everyone."

"And she busts on you for being vain, right?"

"All the freaking time."

"I see." Jane noted. "Well, I need to go find her before she stumbles her way into oncoming traffic." Jane started to leave.

"Hey, wait a minute." Finn called. Jane stopped.

"Did...did Daria mention the argument we had today?"

"She didn't have to. I saw the tail end of it as I was coming back from the bathroom."

"Oh." Finn noted.

"Are you...are you actually upset?" Jane puzzled.

"A little. I mean, yeah, I bust on her all the time, but...uhhh...I don't know."

"Wow, you're actually caring."

"Hey, it's not funny!" Finn balled his hands into fists.

"Ease up, there." Jane replied. "I'm not teasing you, I'm just surprised."

"Well, it's...there's limits, I guess. I mean, it's not like Daria tried to suffocate me when I collapsed from working out. She actually asked me not to tell anyone."

"I never thought I'd see the day."

"You're enjoying this!" Finn criticized.

"More then you know." Jane was not taunting in her tone, but serious. "Hey, if you're bummed out about it, talk to Daria. I know I'm going to, once I find her."

"I..."

"Don't worry, I'm not mentioning you. I remember how we do it. But seriously, you feel bad, talk to her about it."

"She won't listen to me."

"Even if she doesn't, pay off your karma." Jane instructed. "It's one of those principles Daria doesn't have." Finn winced at Jane's words. Jane's eyes widened a bit when she regarded Finn again.

"Uh, hey..." Jane started. Finn sniffled and started to move. Jane moved quickly, and grabbed him by the wrist.

"And doing this just proves the morals you don't have." Jane returned. Finn shook her off, but he was able to crack a smile.

* * *

Finn was surprised to arrive home before Daria. It usually didn't happen. Once he heard her arrive in her room, however, he waited a bit for her to get settled, and then he knocked on her door. She opened it, wearing glasses.

"Specs, I see." Finn noted. Daria didn't reply.

"Are your contacts still bugging you?"

"I can't wear them until I see the doctor again anyway. Mom's not taking the news well."

"She'll be over it once she hits the office. Or she'll forget about it."

"What's the difference?" Daria asked. Finn didn't answer.

"Why are you here? Didn't get enough this morning?"

"Daria, why does this bother you? Seriously. There's nothing wrong with looking good." Finn noted.

"It compromises my nonexistent principles." Daria returned.

"And which would that be?" Finn stated.

"What does it matter?" Daria replied.

"Look, Daria, I didn't mean to bust on you about it."

"Yes, you did." Daria pointed out.

"Okay, maybe I did, but I don't feel great about it." Finn stated. Daria was surprised.

"What did you say?"

"You want it signed by a lawyer or something?"

"No, it's just...heartwarming."

"Hey, look, I came here to apologize, not be taunted." Finn crossed his arms across his chest. Daria was quiet for a moment.

"It compromised my integrity. I was always about not giving a crap about my looks, and who cares who thinks I look ugly." Daria explained. Finn thought of a snappy retort, but he bit his tongue.

"And then I actually started caring when I had the option." Daria returned.

"You still haven't stated what is so bad about that." Finn pointed out. There was silence.

"Seriously, what is so bad about caring how you look. There's nothing wrong with admitting that. Isn't it the same as taking pride in being smart or coordinated or a good singer or something?"

"There's a difference."

"How?"

"You can do things with a good brain." Daria answered. "You can't with a good body."

"Just because you have a good brain doesn't mean you'll do good things with it. Isn't that what's more important?" Finn returned.

"Anyway, so you cared about your looks. So what? You weren't hurting anyone with it." Daria paused to consider that.

"I know. We're all just human. But I'm over it. I'm back to the glasses that set me apart."

"You shouldn't just write off contacts because you think they'll make you vain."

"They're annoying to put in." Daria returned. "And anyway, it doesn't matter. I see other people just fine whether I wear glasses or not."

"Daria, you're not making any sense." Finn stated. Daria didn't answer.

"Anyway, I have to go. Got a date. Big date." Finn darted off to his room to change.

* * *

Daria looked at her brother's shut door for a moment. This time last year, Finn would have never come to her room to apologize. He would have driven the knife in further the second he realized that this concern about morals bothered her. And Finn was perceptive, and could pick up on the nuances.

Now, though, he came to her room and apologized. It was crude, to be certain.

"_I can see other people." _Daria had said this both to Jane and to Finn. She still wasn't certain of exactly what she saw, but Finn was not the same person he was last year. And neither was she. It wasn't a bad thing. And then Daria remembered their fight earlier that day, where she accused Finn of having no morals.

And Daria realized that she was wrong about it. But that was not a problem for her.


	18. Dance Fever

Finn always loved the feeling just after winning a game. Everyone was always in a good mood, high-fives were all-around, and nothing could put a damper on things.

"_It really is how you play the game, but dammit, I like winning too!" _Finn thought with a smile as he started to change from his uniform to his civilian clothes.

"Excuse me, Finn?" A polite voice called to him. Finn knew that it could only come from Robert. He was in the grade ahead of his, and Finn had never met a more polite person in his whole life. Robert had impeccable manners, and never seemed to partake in the "anything-goes" policy of locker room conversation.

Although Robert wasn't exactly a close friend, the other guys on the football team always ranked high on the buddy list.

"What is it?" Finn addressed as politely as Robert did. As he learned a long time ago with some of his dates, those with good manners noticed others' good manners.

"I wanted to ask you about Miss Stacy Rowe." Robert asked.

"What about her?"

"From what I understand, you two are close friends?"

"We're not dating." Finn clarified. "We're just close."

"That is what I thought. I was wondering if, well, perhaps..."

"You want me to fix you up?" Finn asked. Robert nodded. This happened rather frequently ever since Stacy had become popular. Knowing about Finn and Stacy's close relationship, a guy would ask Finn, or a girl would ask Stacy, to arrange a date.

"I suppose I could do that." Finn pulled his pants up. "She's stopping by tonight. I can ask her for you. And since we have practice tomorrow, I can let you know real quick."

"Really!" Robert smiled.

"Hey, sure thing, dude, anything for a Lion." Finn smiled. "But aren't you going to Disney World?"

"I am going next week." Robert clarified. "But I'll be free on Saturday."

"Good to know. All right, see you then." Now completely changed, Finn departed from the locker room.

* * *

Stacy showed up at the Morgendorffer residence soon after the game.

"You guys did really well." Stacy praised.

"Thanks." Finn smiled. Since the school year started, Stacy came over to the house about once every other week, which was more than anyone else. He didn't like it when other people came over to the house, and could see his family. After all, Daria was there, and she could say something mean to just about anyone.

"Was that your dad at the game cheering?" Stacy asked. Finn chuckled.

"You could see him from space." Finn laughed. Jake Morgendorffer always went a little crazy at games. No one could miss him.

"What about your mom?"

"She...she never shows up." Finn returned. "But anyway, I wanted to ask you about one of my teammates. Do you know Robert?"

"Well, sure. I mean, I think so." Stacy returned.

"He's got a crush on you. Wants to arrange a date." Finn smiled.

"Well, there was this new dance club opening this weekend."

"Oh yeah, I know about that. I'm taking Lindsay Ottman there." Finn replied.

"Then why don't we go on a double date?" Stacy offered.

"That...actually sounds promising." Finn noted. Finn was only dating Lindsay because of the new pants she had bought him. Designer pants were always worth a date, but Lindsay herself was about as interesting as a snail traveling across the front yard. Anything would be better then listening to her along for about two hours.

"Okay, then I'll arrange things with Robert." Finn smiled. Stacy smiled too. The two had a quiet moment of laughter together. Then the door to his room quickly opened, and Helen was in the doorway.

"_Thanks for ruining it." _Finn thought grimly.

"Oh, hello, Finn. And...Stacy, was it?" Helen stated.

"We're still dressed." Finn stated sourly.

"Well, Finn, you know how it is with teenagers and hormones raging out of control. What's a mother to do?"

"How about not embarrass her son?" Finn was shaking vividly. "Come on, Stacy, let's bolt." Without even waiting for a protest, Finn grabbed Stacy by the wrist and headed out the front door.

"Sorry about that." Finn stated once he and Stacy were outside. They settled for a walk, in which the two hashed out the final details for their double date.

* * *

Robert was actually excited to hear the news about the double date. Perhaps he was just nervous too, but being around other people like that took the edge off. Lindsay was not as enthusiastic, but agreed to the date. Once the day arrived, however, and the date started, Finn started to realize this wasn't one of his greatest plans. Lindsay's conversation was even more banal then he realized. She cared nothing aside from TV shows and makeup. While Finn appreciated the fine arts of looking good, even he had his limits. As for Robert, while he was every bit as pleasant and respectful as he was to Finn, he absolutely could not dance. At all.

Finn would have laughed, if he wasn't so embarrassed for Stacy. She tried her best to dance with him, but even she had to call it quits and danced with Finn and Lindsay.

* * *

When the night was over, Stacy and Robert went for a walk, while Lindsay, who had driven, started to drive Finn towards his place.

"I really had a good night tonight, Finn." Lindsay smiled. She did have a pretty smile, but that was one of her few redeeming features.

"_That makes one of us." _Finn thought. While dancing with Stacy was fun, Lindsay was only passable. And the conversation was like nails across a chalkboard.

"Ummm...I'm glad you liked it." Finn thought of clever wordsmithing. Now he didn't have to admit how much he disliked it.

"Here, I got something for you." While stopped at a red light, Lindsay reached into the back and grabbed a wrapped box. Before even opening it, Finn figured it to be a shoe box.

"Should I open it now?" Finn asked. Lindsay nodded. He did so, and discovered that, sure enough, it was a rather remarkable pair of boots.

"Stacy helped me pick them out. Do you like them?" Lindsay asked.

"Impressive." Finn nodded. Stacy knew how to pick out things he liked, and she did not disappoint.

"So..." Lindsay asked. "Can I see you again sometime? Even if it's just for a little while." The girl was desperate, although for what, Finn couldn't say. She was pretty enough, and could probably get a good boyfriend among the second-stringers. Of course, she'd probably lose him once he heard her speak.

"Let me...let me think about it." Finn stated once the car pulled up to his home. "I know how to reach you." Finn smiled another inviting smile before he walked back into his house.

If it wasn't for the boots, Finn would have just told the girl no. But she was willing to go that extra mile, and spend that extra dollar, and Finn had to acknowledge that. It was part of his own code, after all.

* * *

The date was a complete and utter disaster, and Finn called Stacy to try and apologize. Not to his surprise, however, Stacy didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, it didn't go well. But Robert is a nice guy." The first thing out of Stacy's mouth about her date was praise. She did not mention his poor dance steps at all.

"And what about Lindsay? You did not seem happy." Stacy asked

"What can you do? Can't win `em all." Finn shrugged. "Those were some killer boots she bought, though."

"Oh, right, she did ask for advice on those."

"Well, I'm gonna drop by Robert's tomorrow, and then I'll meet you for pizza."

"That sounds lovely, Finn. I'll see you then." Stacy hung up the phone. Once she did, Finn regarded his boots again. Like Sandi, Tiffany, or any of the other stupid girls at Lawndale, this was all Lindsay was good for now. He'd given Lindsay a shot, and she failed to deliver. Except for the boots, of course. The promise of a date would be enough for her to get him a jacket to match.

There might have to be another date, of course. Finn had a system for such things. He could work around that. The barter system was a two-way street, after all.

* * *

Robert had mentioned that his family was headed to Disney World the following week, so Finn swung by his house early on Sunday morning, and not a moment too soon. Robert was outside standing by his family's van. Robert must have had a large family, for there were a number of suitcases outside. Or, perhaps since it was a week-long trip, they merely had much to pack.

"Oh, hello Finn." If Robert was bitter about the date last night, he did not show it in his greeting of the center.

"How ya dong?" Finn asked.

"I am well, Finn." Robert returned.

"Well, I remembered you said your family was going on a long trip, so I thought I'd see if you needed any help getting ready. I mean, I'm no good at packing a suitcase, but I figure a big lug like me could help you load the van."

"Why, what a generous thing to offer." Robert smiled, and the two men quickly started to load the van. It was a good thing the two of them were there. Finn didn't know how many women there were in Robert's family, but they did not pack light.

"Hey, since I'm here, I wanted to say sorry about, y'know, the date last night." Finn noted once the two were working.

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm not blind, and Stacy did tell me how it went."

"Hm...Oh, well, do not concern yourself." Robert was not dismissive in his tone, and Finn was a little surprised. Didn't he just not get the girl?

"I thank you for all your effort, Finn." Robert noted.

"I had just hoped maybe it woulda turned out differently for you, dude."

"Why?" Robert asked.

"Well, you wanted to date her, didn't you?"

"I did." Robert corrected.

"I meant, you know, more than once."

"I had the date, and it didn't work out. Stacy told me that she wasn't into me, but she thanked me for thinking of her, and then she said I had a lovely smile and was impressed with my manners. It didn't work out, but I'm not hurt." Robert was surprisingly cheerful, and Finn didn't suspect he was one of those guys who liked getting dumped. It made very little sense to him. If people weren't meant to date, they weren't, but to get over things that quickly? No one was that well-adjusted, no matter their manners.

But as Finn looked at Robert's cheerful smile as the two men finished loading the van, Finn couldn't see any other reason for it.

"Hey, you're in a good mood. I'll take that." Finn stated. Robert smiled as the two men loaded the van. The men shook hands, and Finn walked down the street towards Pizza Palace.

* * *

Stacy was present, on time, unlike most girls.

"Hi, Finn!" She gushed. Even though Stacy had matured quite a bit since last year, she still wasn't completely there.

"Hey." Finn took a seat after ordering his food.

"It looks like yesterday's date wasn't the greatest." Stacy replied with dismay. "But at least we met new people."

"_Yeah, you still are a lot like the old Stacy. But, I guess that's not a completely bad thing." _Finn thought.

"Can't be right all the time." Finn noted as he took a bite of his pizza.

"At least Robert handled it well." Finn informed Stacy of Robert's joyous attitude.

"Well, I figured it would be the best thing to do. At least be honest." Stacy noted.

"I would have given him dance lessons." Finn noted. Stacy chuckled slightly.

"Well, that wasn't really the problem. He's just not my type. He's hunky, but we don't have a lot in common."

"Okay, well, I guess that's important." Finn noted. "Did he pick you out anything like Lindsay did?"

"He brought me flowers when the date started, but no, nothing like that. Wow, that girl is really into you."

"That tends to happen." Finn chuckled a little. "What can you do?" The two finished their meal and took a walk together. They didn't discuss the disastrous double date any further. They discussed random pleasantries, which continued until they reached the Morgendorffer residence. On the doorstep, there was a package.

"Oh, who is that from?" Stacy asked. Finn bent down.

"It's for me." He stated. "Oh, it's from Lindsay." He invited Stacy inside, and once the two were in his room, he opened the box.

"Wow, look at that." Stacy was impressed with the package's contents. A Cashman's box, either a nice shirt or good pair of pants. There was also a card taped to the front.

"Enjoyed myself last night. Hope you'll consider me. I thought this shirt would look nice with your eyes. Lindsay." Finn recited the note.

"Wow, she's got it bad." Finn laughed. Stacy, however, looked at Finn quizzically.

"Why did she get you this?" Stacy wondered as she took the shirt out the box. "Didn't you break up with her?"

"I told her I'd think about it." Finn noted. Stacy looked at him strangely.

"What?" Finn noted.

"You told me you didn't want to date her again."

"I don't."

"But you said..."

"Want has nothing to do with it. Not on my end, at least."

"That...doesn't make any sense." Stacy replied.

"Sure it does. It's the reason why we don't date exclusively." Finn replied. "Come on, Stacy, you understand this. The prizes, of course."

"So, wait. You don't want to date her again, but you will if she bribes you?" Stacy seemed positively shocked by the concept.

"Of course. That's the reason to date, isn't it?"

"Finn!" Stacy did not seemed pleased by this revelation.

"Huh? Look, you don't need to be all moral authority on me. It's okay. I'm not going to get angry because you do it."

"I don't!" Stacy returned.

"What do you call all those things you get from the new wave of freshmen? I understand Chad Stentson got you a new bracelet, Jack Davenport got you a..."

"Finn, those guys gave me those gifts before they even met me." Stacy elaborated. "Then I met them and told them things were not going to work out. And that was it."

"Stacy." Finn was surprised. "You just wrote them off just like that? I mean, wouldn't you at least flirt a little, then see if they give you something to go with it? If they do it like that, it's almost a guarantee."

"Finn, how can you take advantage of people like that?"

"Take advantage? I'm not making them do anything. I don't even suggest anything. They don't want to, that's their own business."

"Finn!" Stacy stated. "How can you be so cruel?"

"Cruel? I learned a long time ago you want something bad enough, you'll pay for it. That's just the way things work. That's all I do, is create the want. The rest is out of my hands."

"I...I can't believe this. It's like I don't even know you. You say you're my friend, and you say you care, and you respect me, but I don't think I want to be that if that's the way you treat people."

"You can't be serious." Finn stated. "After everything we've been through? You think I helped you break away from Sandi just for my health? I did that for you, when no one else would help you. And I didn't expect a prize or anything. I did it because you deserved to be your own person and not just some sniveling little crybaby stuck under Sandi's heel. And you're going to call me cruel?"

"What about your mother?" Stacy asked. "I saw how you were when she came in."

"Let me tell you about my mother. My mother spends her time helping corporations screw over their workers. And when she's home, the only thing she can say to me is 'why can't you be more like your sister?' Don't tell me about my mother." Finnwas furious, and he immediately ordered Stacy out. She left without another word.

"It's bad enough Daria rips our family apart." Finn looked at himself in the mirror once he heard the front door shut.

"_Mom has to think that's good_." And Finn fought back his own tears for a moment before starting a work out.

* * *

It actually felt weird to come to school on Monday for Finn. The people he encountered did not treat him any differently. Jamie, Joey, and Jeffy talked about the rather successful game last week. Mack stopped by and chatted at lunch. Multiple girls talked with Finn and asked him about the upcoming dance this weekend. Some asked him on a date, others asked him for a dance. And yet still more asked him for his measurements, perhaps for an appropriate gift. After all, Finn had not announced who he would accompany to the dance. It was still anyone's game.

Aside from the entire lack of Stacy Rowe, the day was much like any other. Stacy was not present at all in school, perhaps she had fallen ill.

Finn felt a little different that day, although he couldn't explain it at first. He listened to all of the girls ask him about the dance. Apparently ,the Fashion Club, or what was left of it, was planning the dance. Finn's own role in Stacy's self-assured dominance was a secret, at Finn's own insistence. If others knew about it, Stacy would simply seem another follower, which would defeat the purpose of her independence. They had recruited Brooke into their ranks once Stacy departed, and Sandi wasted no time turning her into the replacement pack mule.

All three girls still were gift-giving sycophants. To them, Finn was still the most popular sophomore in school, and he hung around Stacy merely because he was popular. Finn entertained no notions to dispel the illusion. The gifts those girls gave were, in fact, fashionable, and that was always a plus.

"_Cruelty?"_ Finn thought. Was that cruel? He didn't see how. Those girls deserved no sympathy, kindness, or other things like that. Sandi's own attitude was her reason. Power-hungry, vicious, and destructive was she. She used men for her own amusement, provoking them to fight simply to validate her looks, and with women she destroyed their own beauty to make herself look better by comparison. What else did she deserve other then to be manipulated by Finn himself? After all, he was the only person in a position to punish her for her own actions.

Tiffany was worse. She possessed all of Sandi's cruelty without the voice inflection. Brooke herself was sweet, but Finn had absolutely no interest in her. After all, she was too willing to go under the knife and get plastic surgery. That whole anorexia saga started because of her. Even after that, Brooke showed herself to be not very interesting a person, rather like Lindsay Ottman.

Speaking of Lindsay, she had already made her moves to try and get Finn to ask him to the dance. She didn't even care if Finn danced with multiple women, she wanted the prestige, to be able to say Finn Morgendorffer accompanied her.

Were it any other time, Finn would have told her he was still considering. The dance was five days away, and such a decision was not made rashly. Of course, this would mean that Lindsay would get one or more gifts for him. And, of course, since Finn would be telling her this in public, gossip would circulate, and other girls would be determined not to be outdone.

It had worked this way ever since high school started, and it was different from what Sandi or any other girls did. Finn offered no hints nor suggestions to anyone. A girl was free to drop out of the game anytime she pleased. The loss of popularity was her decision. Further, Finn wasted no time chastising anyone who used violence or ruined another's gift. Humiliation was appropriate for the destruction of such property.

And that should have been it. That was all the justification necessary.

"_Why?" _Finn wondered. This was just like when Tommy Sherman died.

"Agh!" Finn growled as he walked down the hallway. Everyone stared at him, and Finn had briefly forgotten that he was in a crowd. Finn stormed off without another word.

* * *

Daria had gone straight home from school on Monday, Jane accompanied her. The two of them caught _Sick, Sad World _in Daria's room.

"My muse has been so dry lately. It seems that Tender is the Knife doesn't do it for me." Jane commented as she sat on Daria's bed.

"A woman knifing her husband during a kiss always stimulates me." Daria noted. Then she heard the doorbell ring. She walked downstairs to answer the door, and found a rather pretty girl standing there. She was no one Daria had ever seen before, and, given that she was a teenage girl with the vacuous look of an idiot, there could be only one reason why she was here.

"Finn's not here." Daria answered.

"Oh no, I'm not here for Finn. I'm...uhhh...here for you." The girl answered.

"Huh?" Daria was confused.

"Cheating on me, now, Daria?" Jane asked jokingly.

"Ummm...who are you?"

"My name is Brooke." The girl introduced. "Brooke Cameron. Finn and I are friends."

"Like I said..." Daria started.

"I'm a member of the Fashion Club, and we're planning the dance next Friday." Brooke informed.

"I'm not going to model anything." Daria delivered.

"Eeew, your body is...I mean, I wasn't going to ask that. I wanted to ask for your help in decorating."

"Sorry, no can do."

"Please!" Brooke pleaded. "You see Finn all day every day. You know him better then anyone. Sandi and Tiffany said they would help me but they just rip all my ideas apart and I have nothing to show him and I wanted him to really like it."

"If you wanted to score a date with him, his usual avenues are still open." Daria returned.

"In fact, I understand Sean is working at Cashman's today." Jane continued the teasing.

"Anyone can do that." Brooke stated.

"They already do." Jane agreed.

"But I wanted to plan an event for him. He's already going to go and he knows I'm planning it, so if I do a great job and he likes it, then he dates me. Maybe he even kisses me!"

"Sorry. I can't find the effort to please Finn. Now, if you wanted me some torture, we might be able to arrange..."

"I'll pay you." Brooke stated. Daria paused.

"That's how you work, right? I hire you?" Brooke stated.

"And here I thought you were just a pretty face." Daria teased half-seriously. Cash changed everything in the Morgendorffer house.

"I have a thousand-dollar discretionary fund to decorate." Brooke stated. "If we decorate it, I'll let you keep the rest. That works, right?"

"That's for everything? Food, drinks, DJ..."

"You could get Upchuck to do that. Buy him two sodas, he'll do it for free." Jane stated. Brooke's attention immediately shifted to Jane.

"That's a great idea!" Brooke cheered. She immediately produced a notepad.

"You can also get a good deal on pizza if you buy enough of them." Jane returned. Daria stared at her friend.

"What?" Jane stated. "She said the magic word. Pay. We need to give her her money's worth."

"What about decorations? That's going to be the big one."

"You leave that to me. I'm an artist." Jane stated. Now Daria could see Jane's motives. Painting the entire gym? How could she resist.

"But wait a minute, wouldn't these all be my ideas. Won't Finn give me a kiss?" Jane stated. Daria and Brooke both stared at her.

"But...you're not popular. And you're not pretty." Brooke stated.

"Oh, my poor feelings." Jane returned. "Well then, you can decorate the gym yourself..." Jane stepped away.

"No, no, I'm sorry!" Brooke apologized. "It's just...are you Finn's type?"

"Are you?" Jane returned.

"Of course, I'm in the Fashion Club." Brooke returned. Daria's brain contracted a little on that one. From what Daria remembered of those ridiculous girls, Finn exploited them like he exploited everyone else. He would do the same to this Brooke, if he hadn't done so already.

"Why don't we work out our budget. You'll give me what's left after food and entertainment, and I'll pay for decorations myself. I know how to get the deals better anyway."

"Wow, thank you!" Brooke cheered. "We'll do it all tomorrow." And Brooke left with a happy skip in her step as she bounded down across the Morgendorffer lawn.

* * *

"You're going to get the barest minimum and spend the rest of the money decorating the gym?" Daria noted.

"Jealous?" Jane returned.

"Somewhat. And a kiss from Finn?"

"It was a joke."

"Some things are just not funny." Daria returned.

"Your reaction was priceless." Jane stated. "Anyway, I'm going to figure out how much pizza we can get away with, then work on convincing Upchuck."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"Three letters. B-R-A. See you." Jane exited the house and walked down back towards the Lane house.

* * *

Daria returned to her room and picked up a good book. She heard the door open, and Finn entered a little while later. Daria opted to tell him nothing about the dance. Whatever happened there was not interesting. Finn entered his room and was silent, and that suited Daria just fine. He wasn't even playing his workout music.

About an hour later, the doorbell rang again.

"Finn!" Daria stated. There was neither answer nor movement from Finn's room. She called him again, and nothing happened. Grumbling, Daria got up to answer the door. A woman with a large vase of flowers stood in the doorway.

"For me?" Daria said with mock flattery.

"Puh-lease." The girl stated. "These are for Finn. Like anyone would get you flowers."

"And whom shall I say is giving these flowers."

"My name is Lindsay Ottman. That's O-T..." The girl started.

"I don't need to spell your name to say it, genius." Daria slammed the door in her face, and brought the flowers into the kitchen.

"Finn!" Daria called. "Get this garden off the table before Mom comes home!" Again, there was no sound from Finn's room. That was odd. By now he would have shut his door or turned music on to drown her out.

Daria marched up the stairs. Finn's door was half-open. She looked inside, wondering if Finn, perhaps, had snuck out on the roof like he did when he was going to a party with booze. There'd be no reason to do that now, with Mom and Dad not home, but that didn't mean Finn wouldn't do it. Perhaps he believed they were home.

Finn was in his room. He was sitting on the floor, his back to his bed. Lying around him haphazardly were various clothes, shoes, and other things.

"_Picking out your dance outfit already?" _Daria criticized. Why he felt the need to do that crap was beyond her. But Finn was not looking at clothes, holding them up to his body in front of the mirror. Instead he was holding something in his hand. Daria squinted to look closer, and saw that it was a silver necklace. It was a man's chain, and Daria had seen Finn wear it on occasion. As Daria regarded all of the things around him, Daria realized they were all gifts he had gotten from his conquests. The clothes were too fashionable for Mom to have picked out, and Finn would never spend money on clothes when he could get others to do it for him.

"_Trying to compare the worth? Just ask them to save the receipts." _Daria thought. This was certainly weird, but there was still a garden of flowers to get rid of.

"Finn!" Daria called. Finn didn't even respond to her. Daria stepped into the room. As she walked into his eyesight, he finally noticed her.

"What? Don't you knock?" Finn was trying to disguise his surprise with anger, as he usually did with her.

"I called you half a dozen times almost." Daria returned. "Someone brought flowers for you, get them off the table."

"Who?"

"Lindsay Ottman, I think."

"Damn." Finn stated. Daria turned to leave.

"Daria?" Finn called to her.

"I don't know how much she spent on them." Daria returned.

Finn ignored her comment.

"Am I cruel?" Finn asked. Daria's eyes widened.

"_Wow. I don't know who arranged this, but I owe you pizza, soda, and dessert." _Daria thought. It took all of her effort to suppress a laugh.

* * *

Daria nearly stumbled in place when Finn asked her that question.

"_Duh." _Was her first reaction. And her second. Heartless would have been a better word to use then cruel, Daria believed, but cruel was accurate in it's own right. Finn changed girlfriends more often than his boxers and socks put together. He used them to satisfy his greed, which was legendary even by Morgendorffer standards. And in return, he gave them merely the "pleasure" of his company, whatever that was.

Oh, he was skilled, true enough. He knew how to inflect his voice, and feign interest, that much was certain. He knew what worked, and he worked it well.

"_He's not full of the milk of human kindness." _Daria thought. He wasn't a total ass, at least, not anymore. Recently, Daria had seen a few positive changes with him. He didn't play pranks on her anymore, and his insult meter had gone down a peg or two. Daria had no problems admitting that. But he was still, push come to shove, more of a jackass than he wasn't.

"Of course you're cruel." Daria answered in the affirmative. There was no revenge he could take on her for this. He asked for an honest opinion and she gave it. If he wanted placation, he would have gone somewhere else. Perhaps to the pool, where the veritable army of sycophantic women there would tell him he could stop time if it meant they could rub sunscreen on his back.

Finn did not fight her, and Daria expected him too. She was blunt as hell, and made no illusions as to anything else.

"You have three-quarters of the female populace of Lawndale willing to do your bidding and the only thing you can think of is what you can squeeze out of them. You've got a lot of stuff here, and I'm willing to bet that doesn't involve the stuff in your laundry basket." Daria criticized.

"But that's the way it's supposed to be. If you aren't doing it to them, they aren't doing it to you. You should see Sandi at work, see how she put poor Jamie through the wringer in middle school, and she still didn't even give him her number."

"So Sandi's cruel." Daria knew this Sandi Griffin, at least, she'd seen her at Mack's barbecue. Cruel was an understatement to the Fashion Fiends.

"That doesn't mean you're not because it's less than her." Daria pointed out. Finn winced again.

"But I...I do make them happy. I try to."

"Finn, you gave them dates because you want a reward for it. You smile, flex, and wink for them because they open up their purses to you." Daria corrected. "That's not the reason to be doing that."

"But what about Stacy? I helped her and I didn't want anything for it. She deserved not to be held back under Sandi."

"Stacy..." Daria trailed off, trying to remember Finn's interaction with this girl. She remembered her; the mousy girl who was crying in the Ferris Wheel with her. Her convulted logic and self-obsession was worse than Finn's: At least Finn's mercenary logic made sense. That girl was something else.

Try as she might, Daria couldn't think of a reason how Finn was cruel to that girl. He was right: he did help her without the promise of a reward. He didn't even know if it would work.

"One good deed doesn't erase everything." Daria stated. "Neither does a couple. So you helped this girl out, good for you. So you're nice to those football buddies of yours. That doesn't change that you're cruel to every other girl in existence." Finn winced again. Daria wondered, if, maybe, that forced the knife in too far. But she simply remembered their shared past, how Finn would put snails in her bed. And that stopped all worrying thoughts.

Finn hugged his knees to his chest.

"Now clean up those flowers downstairs." Daria left the room. She did not hear Finn move from his room, and Daria wondered if she'd have to do this herself. After all, she was the one who put the flowers on the table, not Finn.

* * *

She started down the stairs, and found her way to the vase. Lindsay Ottman was the one who brought these flowers, and that girl was unpleasant as they came, like pretty much every other girl at Lawndale. Self-obsessed, narcissistic, but she seemed to be wealthy. After all, Finn seemed not to be pleased with her gifts, which meant she was giving more than he wished. It was a strange concept at first, but Daria knew Finn exchanged dates for gifts, and she was getting close to one, probably.

"_So you don't want to date that, Finn? Okay, I understand that. That's perfectly fine. So tell her to back off. File a restraining order or whatever. Don't just use her for gifts."_

Daria went to the table to pick up the flowers, and decided to sort through the mail first. Some of it might have been for her.

True enough, the Medical Abnormalities catalog had arrived. Daria quickly sorted the piles by name, and then leafed through the catalog before picking up the vase.

There were some new additions, it seemed. Daria quickly picked up a pen and searched through, circling the ones she liked. She'd have to compute this later, so that she could figure out what she would have her mother get.

And that's when Daria paused. She got these things from her mother's credit card, or from bribes from either of her parents. Just like Finn did with those girls.

Daria dropped the catalog in shock. And then she realized that their mother often used bribes to placate either of her children, particularly Finn. Of course, ever since he moved on to those women, he needed his mother less. But that was life in the Morgendorffer home; a life built on bribes. It was an effective lesson, if Mom's success was a measure of example.

Daria knew exactly what buttons to push to milk the most money out of this. She even bilked her father out of a burger he searched for a long time for. It was a good idea; her father should not have been eating meat cooked so rare, but she still did it in a way that cost him his dinner. Was this truly different from Finn?

Sacrifices were made, sometimes, but in truth, this was the way their family functioned. And Daria knew of no other way to do things. To unilaterally give to another was stupid, and Daria knew this. Finn saw that as being a chump, and Daria agreed.

Finn exploited other girls, that much was true. But what other way would he know? What other way was there? It's not as if their mother was a shining example of selfless virtue: She helped corporations cheat on their taxes, and was paid handsomely to do so.

Daria felt a little sick to her stomach. Here she was, calling Finn out on his cruelty, but, at the very least, Finn did not do such things to everyone. There was this Stacy girl, of course. Those guys he hung around. Dad was a shining example. Even Aunt Rita. She sent him nice things, of course, but Finn never exploited her for it.

There it was, the thing Daria had always hoped for, and she didn't even realize it. While Daria cared nothing for the females of Lawndale that Finn exploited, probably even less than Finn did, their devotions swelled her brother's ego, and made him insufferable. If he wanted to be rid of that, why shouldn't she encourage that. It certainly would make home life that much easier.

As Daria moved her way up to Finn's room with the vase, she was determined to make him see that. However, halfway between the stairs and Finn's room, she realized now she was the one manipulating Finn for her own ends.

"_Now who is the one who is cruel?" _Daria depressed herself. She moved her way into Finn's room anyway to drop off the flowers. Finn hadn't moved from his spot on the floor, but he looked even sadder than he did when she left.

"Finn?" Daria called.

"What?" Finn's voice was a mixture of despair and annoyance.

"You know, if this bothers you that much, you can do something about it." Daria noted. She made no mention of her realizations. They would not serve, so Daria reasoned.

"I thought I was doing it right. They enjoyed it, they loved me."

"They admired you." Daria corrected. "They lusted for you. It's not even close."

"If you don't want to be cruel, you don't have to be. Don't play the game anymore." Daria delivered

"But then I'm not popular!" Finn protested.

"Finn, your looks won't change. They'll still follow you and desire you. If she enjoys you enough on a date to pay for it, fine. But don't do it to girls you think nothing of."

"But they deserve it." Finn stated.

"All the more reason to cut them off. Think about it. You, the God of Lawndale, tells the girl she's not worth his time because she's a bitch. Not even bribes can change your mind. And those girls worship you. Their god refuses their worship. Wouldn't that make them unpopular?"

"Wouldn't that be cruel?"

"It's not as cruel as stringing them along, and really, the cruelty is on their part. You've seen the way they treat other girls, and you don't like it. How you treat the least is remembered by the greatest. It's not merciful, but justice never is." Finn mulled that over.

"It won't change your popularity, and even if it does, you'll get it back the second you emerge from the pool. But you'll feel better, and Stacy will notice." Finn continued to think, Daria could hear the gears turning in his head.

Daria knew her brother was not stupid. He would understand this.

"Don't forget to clean up these gifts. You already have them, don't waste them." Daria returned to her own room.

"_I am getting soft, a sappy speech? But..." _Daria thought. "_But I did say I would give an honest opinion. I just gave one on what to do about it." _

_

* * *

_

Nothing had changed at school again on Tuesday, and Finn still wasn't exactly certain of what he had been told.

"_Don't play the game." _Was what Daria had said. Was this just a game? Whether it was or not, Finn played it as one. Considering how all the girls fawned over him, that was really the only way to go with it. To pick one girl was not only boring, but it invited retribution amongst other girls; Sandi multiplied to an insufferable level.

Finn realized that Daria did not say he should not date, and that threw him for a loop. To date and not receive the prizes? It was a foreign concept. After all, if one did not receive, one gave. And to give like that just made one broke.

After getting a few books from his locker, Finn started to walk down the hallway, and he passed by Bret Strand, along with other members of the soccer team. He remembered Bret, the guy he decked for not calling Stacy back, and her shocked reaction to this surprised him.

The guy was a total douchebag; he dated Stacy only to expect sexual favors when he was finished, and wrote her off when she didn't want to. Just looking for the next place to park his dick.

"_Isn't that how people like Erin get herpes?" _Finn thought. Although Finn knew that he shouldn't have punched the guy out for that, he didn't feel bad about teaching that bastard a lesson. After all, that was Tommy Sherman. But when Finn recalled the sight of Stacy, sobbing in that Middle Ages dress with the weird princess cone hat, he saw red. He couldn't think probably. And that was odd because that never happened before.

"_Is...Is that the way I make them feel?" _Finn thought. He couldn't dismiss the thought. While Finn did not publicly humiliate a girl who gave improperly, he ignored them. He didn't call them back.

"_Damn." _Finn thought.

* * *

His thoughts were interrupted further by the approach of the Fashion Club.

"Finn, we have been looking for you." Sandi stated.

"Finn, have you chosen someone for the dance yet?" Brooke asked.

"No." Finn stated. "I might not go with anyone, just come with my buds. I mean, if I do bring someone, you have to dance with them at least 30% of the time, and that's just not fair."

"Unfortunately, I will not be attending." Sandi stated.

Call "That's too bad." Finn stated insincerely.'

"My parents are out of town this week." Sandi returned. "And I am throwing a party. Hot tub, Green Bay on the new big screen, free pizza. You know, a party." Finn was about to protest that she could have thrown the party another day, but Green Bay was only playing that day this weekend.

"But Finn, you'll come to the dance, won't you?" Brooke asked. "I'm doing a killer decorating job." Brooke stated eagerly.

"Gee, Brooke, I thought the Fashion Club was doing it as a group. It's so pleasant of you to take credit for yourself all the hard work we all put into this."

"Totally....tasteless." Tiffany added.

"Well, Sandi..." Brooke started.

"Of course I'll be at the dance." Finn stated. "I need to see all the work you girls put into this. After all, it should be a rather fashionable affair."

"Really!" Brooke was excited. "Oh, that's great. I...uhhh...gotta go over some notes to make sure everything is right." Brooke then darted off down the hallway.

"Finn, Brooke is indeed taking charge of these decorations, despite both mine and Tiffany's efforts to steer her in a more conscious manner."

"Oh?" Finn was not pleased with her tone, but he pleasantly handled her.

"Do not be afraid to give me a call once you see that disaster. I will be more then happy to rescue you from that horrid dance." With a smile, Sandi walked down the hallway, with Tiffany chasing after her.

* * *

There were boxes on the doorstep, from various girls. The sight of them almost made Finn gag. But Finn stomached it, and called every girl that sent him one to thank her. They seemed to enjoy it. And each one asked him to the dance. Finn told them how he wasn't going with anyone, and to simply ask for a dance while there. They seemed to accept this too.

Despite this, however, Finn still felt as though he was being cruel. It wasn't his fault; these girls shipped these things before Daria told him what to do, but now he still felt sucky.

"_What do I do now?" _Finn thought. He could not ask Daria for more advice. He needed to do this himself, and figure out how he could stop this. Only a few of the gifts sent today were from girls Finn wanted to date.

"_Clean break." _He remembered. He went upstairs to his mirror to rehearse his speech. It sounded so stupid out loud. While he thought it would produce the desired effect, it just sounded odd. There was so many ways he could gain a gift, and now he was not supposed to.

Finn sighed, and tried to rehearse it again.

Peeking into Finn's doorway was Daria, who heard every word of his break-up speech.

"_He's actually doing it?" _Daria thought. Daria knew how Finn's exploitation worked, and he was making a conscious effort to overcome it. And Finn did not know Daria was in the doorway, not that he would exert the effort to impress her.

Daria left him alone. He had work to do. He needed peace and quiet. And, this time, Daria was content with giving Finn what he wished.

* * *

The days drug on, and Saturday arrived. Finn was ready to head to the dance. He picked out the perfect outfit, made sure everything was ironed and neatly pressed. He had to do this properly.

"Oh. My. God! What is this!" Brooke screamed as Jane completed her decorating.

"It's a tribute to Jackson Pollock." Jane stated.

"Who is that?"

"Hey, you're the one who said to make it to impress Finn."

"Finn is going to hate this!" Brooke screeched. "I'm ruined!"

"_Somehow, I think I can live with that." _Jane thought. As if on cue, Finn arrived a moment later.

"Whoa!" Finn's eyes widened as he took in the surreal decor.

"Oh, Finn, I'm...I'm so sorry!" Brooke started.

"This is great!" Finn cheered.

"R...really!" Brooke was happy. She quickly recovered.

"Oh, I was just so worried that it wasn't up to snuff, but I knew that if I just plugged away, my effort would be rewarded."

"It is fantastic." Finn did not look at Brooke, but directly at Jane. Brooke didn't notice, but Jane did. She smiled back at him.

"Should we dance, Finn?" Brooke asked.

"Okay." Finn agreed, and the two went off to dance to Upchuck's rhythms. Looking at the enthusiastic DJ, her work of painting the gym, and Finn's praising reaction, Jane found herself very satisfied.

"_Wait, was I happy because Finn praised me?" _Jane thought, blushing a little. While she did not do this for Finn's benefit like that idiot Brooke thought, the fact that he did like it made her smile, and Jane didn't even realize that at first.

* * *

Finn was very impressed with the dance. From his time at Jane's, he knew that this decoration and art had her name stamped on it. Hell, it was tattooed on the gym. But Finn danced with Brooke for a moment. After the song was finished, they found a very private place.

"So, you really enjoyed it?" Brooke asked.

"Of course. I had no idea you were a fan of Jackson Pollock." Finn stated. It was a name he never knew before Jane.

"Of...of course. His art is..."

"And you did all the painting and stuff yourself?"

"Ye...Yes!" Brooke was stuttering.

"You'll have to show me how to do it sometimes. Perhaps you could paint me. Perhaps I don't need to be dressed."

"Ummm...of course!" Brooke stated. It was funny to Finn how much Brooke was continuing her lie. But this needed to end.

"Do you know Jane Lane?" Finn asked.

"She's that friend of your sister's." Brooke stated. "But they're not popular like us. We don't need to..."

"She painted this." Finn delivered.

"Huh?"

"Jane happens to be a friend of mine, a very good one. Popular or not, she's an awesome person and this is her work. You can't fool me, Brooke." Finn returned. Brooke started to get nervous.

"Ummm...okay, fine. I asked her to do it. I paid her, though." Brooke stated.

"Hey, it was a smart decision, even if you blundered into it. But you took credit for her work. That's horrible!" Finn stated.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I'll make it up to you! I know you were looking at that black shirt and red tie combo I saw at Cashman's, so..."

"Brooke, this is serious. You can't buy your way out of this." Finn delivered. "You're only mad because I caught you, not because you think Jane deserved the credit. I can't date you if you're willing to be that horrible!"

"Oh!" Brooke was nearly ready to cry.

"You want to date me? Make yourself worth my time. And I don't mean with gifts. Be someone worth knowing. Help an unpopular girl get the man of her dreams with a makeover. Help someone with their problems. Tell a guy after a bad date what you liked about him when you break up rather then trying to get him speak to Theresa for the appropriate gift. And don't forget to apologize to Jane." Brooke sniveled a little in place.

"Brooke, I'm not telling you these things to be mean. I'm telling you because I think you can do them. I don't want to date a plagiarist. Now, I'm going to go. Think about it." Finn strode off with his head held high, a smile on his face. It was easier then he thought it would be, to not play the game.

And he found that it was not only easy, but it didn't make him feel like a chump.

* * *

Finn performed his break-up rites with other popular girls who were not worth his time. His reasons were justified each time. Sally manipulated guys into fistfights for her own enjoyment, Jackie played a horrible prank involving an unpopular freshman boy, a laundromat, and a pair of pink panties. Fran stuck gum in other girls' long hair. No girl questioned him, and, in truth, what would they say to him? That people should pull those kinds of things.

No, no one was smart enough to think of an appropriate retort. And those that could were smart enough to side with Finn.

He paused only once that night from his rites to praise Jane, truly praise Jane, for all of her work.

"Well, my muse was feeling dry, and I wanted to satisfy it. That it turned out to be a success was just a bonus. But, thanks." The two laughed.

"Daria's around, isn't she?" Finn noted.

"Yeah, you shouldn't stay long." Jane replied. Finn moved away.

"Hey." Jane called. Finn turned around.

"I saw what you've been doing tonight.

"Do you approve?" Finn stated.

"Does that matter?" Jane returned.

"No, just asking." Finn answered readily. Jane was impressed.

"Yes. I am."

* * *

No one spoke to Finn about this methods, but Jodie Landon and Mack both smiled at him. Finn still made time for dancing with the girls he didn't know enough to write off, or the rare few who were actually decent.

Finn's buddies looked at him strangely, but when he explained things to them, it made sense to them.

"I guess someone needs to set an example." Jeffy stated.

"I did feel a little sleazy doing that." Joey agreed.

"My fault." Finn replied sheepishly. "I'm on booze for the next boy's night."

"That's not necessary, dude." Jamie stated.

"Yes, it is. I was pretty sleazy. The usual man-laws apply."

"Hey, free booze is free booze." Joey noted.

"If it makes you feel better." Jamie shrugged and accepted.

* * *

As Finn was leaving the dance, someone grabbed him by the wrist from behind. Normally, that would have made Finn defensive, but it was a slender, weak grip, and Finn knew who it belonged to.

"Finn." It was Stacy Rowe. Her face was a little pale, so perhaps she had not fully recovered from whatever it was she had. But there was a slight bit of sweat on her brow and her hair and clothes were slightly disheveled. She spent the night dancing. So she knew what he had done tonight.

"I saw what you did." She noted.

"I didn't do it for you." Finn replied.

"I know, and that's what makes it important." Stacy replied. Finn smiled a bit.

"You know, I didn't mean to call you cruel. What you did for me, that was totally not cruel." Stacy noted.

"It's okay. Someone needed to say it. I will miss all those gifts, though. It was nice to get cash prizes." Finn shrugged

"It is."

"But the girls still pay for my dates. And getting gifts on a birthday or anniversary isn't cruel."

"No, it's not. And what you told Brooke?"

"Hey, she can be pretty sweet. But what she did was inexcusable." Finn replied. Stacy wouldn't know what it was.

"I believe you." Stacy noted before walking off.

Finn walked home, feeling as though a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was aggravating to go on dates with absolutely horrid girls just because they gave him presents. Of course, he had only himself to blame for that one.

He wondered what Daria would say about this. According to Jane, she went to the dance, so she'd be aware of his performance.

And Finn surprised himself that he even thought of Daria at all. She was still cruel, to be sure. But at least she gave an honest opinion, which was refreshing, to say the least. No one else would have told him that. Maybe his Mom, but she would just tell him he was horrible and insensitive. Daria told him what he knew all along.

Sometimes, though, even if the answer was right in front of you, it needed to be said.


	19. It's Edgy, Dammit!

"So, wait a minute, Daria." Jane's eyes widened upon hearing the news. "Mr. O'Neill submitted your essay to _Val _for the _Spend the Day with Val _contest."

"Yes." Daria answered.

"And it won?"

"Yes."

"Which essay would that be again?" Jane posed.

"It was called _My so-called Angst."_ Daria returned. "I let you read it last week."

"How did that win?"

"They thought it was sarcastic." Daria stated. "At least that's what I'm guessing."

"Have you ever read an edition of _Val?_" Jane asked.

"I know what's in it. It's all about celebrities, supposed advice for teenage girls. Which means it's all about blackheads, makeup, and how to drop out twins by the time you reach seventeen. Finn sometimes gets an issue for the men's section. I'm scared to read that one."

"If only we could understand the wonders of the male brain." Jane jokingly posed.

"Easy, every other word is breasts. Anyway, now she's coming over to the house tomorrow, and spending the following day at school with me. I'm considering my options."

"Which are those?"

"Cynaide is less messy, but seppuku can be considered an insult to Val. Wonder if she'd get it." Daria stated.

"_Val _is published in New York City, isn't it?"

"I think so."

"Wouldn't that be an awesome prize."

"No." Daria stated. "Then I'd be stuck around her for another day."

"You always need to see the downside, don't you." Jane stated.

"You want a trip to New York?"

"Don't you? Galleries, museums. I hear if you drop a penny off the Empire State building, it'll bore a hole straight through a man."

"I think they outlawed that." Daria stated. "Anyway, no one mentioned a trip to New York."

"You're too used to your mother's direct approach." Jane stated. "Don't you worry, Morgendorffer, you leave that one to me."

"She'll never do it. If she's anything like her magazine, and she is considering how much her name is all over it, she'll want to bolt the second we meet someone remotely connected to me. Like Kevin and Brittany. I know I sure want to run away when I see them."

"You're over-thinking things. Val will probably spend ages talking about herself and the morons will hang on her every word. You won't have to say a thing." Jane noted.

"But this is supposed to be a secret."

"A magazine editor coming to visit Lawndale High? Ms. Li will probably blab it on the announcements this afternoon."

"I suppose." Daria agreed. "And I already have an idea on how to get rid of her if I need to."

"And what might that be."

"I just need to find another shallow egomaniac to shove her on. They'll be so busy preening feathers and strutting that they'll forget the world exists. Or they'll blow each other up."

"Doesn't that whole annihilation thing only work on polar opposites?" Jane asked.

"Exactly why not being around Val is tantamount to my own safety. I have just the shallow egomaniac in mind."

"You're not talking about Finn, are you?"

"Of course." Daria nodded.

"Won't he hate you for that?"

"He already hates me. Besides, that's the type of teen Val wants to see. Popular people, sheepish people who only care about the next greatest celebrity. People she can push her stupid crap on."

"Finn doesn't care about celebrities." Jane quickly pointed out.

"Huh?" Daria stated.

"Well, we pass him in the hall all the time, and I've never heard him mention it. And boys locker room talk will more then likely not involve celebrities."

"Not the clothed ones." Daria asided. "But I've got to play this right. If he thinks I'm using him, he won't do it."

"And how do you plan on getting him to do it. I'm pretty sure he'll end up hating Val. Didn't he hate Tommy Sherman?"

"When did you become the guru on my brother?"

"I...err...you mentioned it to me one time." Jane stated quickly, almost too quickly. "Anyway, you're one to talk, Daria, considering you know about three of my brother's four tattoos."

"Four?"

"You don't want to know where the last one is." Jane noted. Daria was silent for a moment.

"Anyway, it won't be that difficult. All I have to do is stay out of the conversation and let Val lead. Finn will talk, and she'll eat it up. Then she'll want to spend the day with him instead. They'll forget all about me. It'll keep her from going into my room too."

* * *

The family was informed that night about Val's visit, so the family was all ready. Finn spent an extra long time getting ready, and chose his good fashionable clothes, whatever that meant. Jake was in the kitchen trying a recipe that tasted suspiciously like cheese puffs. Although it surprised her, Daria would hope that even Val could bail her out of that meal. After all, a free steak dinner was high on the list.

"Daria, why aren't you dressed for our guest?" Helen asked.

"We're supposed to be acting as we always do." Daria corrected.

"And have you seen what she considers fashionable? It's really a good thing Val is here." Finn quickly sniped. Daria regarded her brother's comment. This might be easier than she thought.

"Hey, Finn, come taste this chili con cheese puffs!" Jake stated eagerly. "I got the recipe from the magazine." Finn moved to taste it as the doorbell rang.

"That must be her. I'll get it." Helen stated. She was quickly joined by both Daria and Finn.

When Helen opened the door, the woman standing there was everything Daria expected her to be. Val was dressed exactly like the teenagers she wrote her magazine for, which, considering she had to be at least thirty, made her look like one of those new age hip mothers that did shots with their daughters.

"_And there was probably a special edition for that one." _Daria thought.

"Oh, this is so great!" Val inflected her prepositions way too much, Daria noticed. "I get to spend a day with the typical teens that read my magazine. Oh, hello, Daria!" She noticed the teenager.

"It is such a pleasure to welcome you into our home." Helen stated politely.

"Hello, Miss...Val." Finn fumbled trying to remember her last name.

"Oh, who is this? You don't need to call me Miss. Miss is for older women. Just Val."

"I'm Finn, I'm Daria's brother."

"Oh my god, it's like, the tradition suburban family." Val seemed pleased. "It's like, the suburban dream family."

"Suburban dream family?" Finn asked.

"You got me." Daria added. Val walked in.

"You two are so edgy! You two really know how to Val yourself up." Val stated before following Helen into the kitchen. Daria and Finn stared at the doorway Val walked through.

"Daria, does 'to Val' mean you wear the wrong clothes?"

"Sure, why not." Daria stated. Finn looked at his outfit, then quickly ran upstairs to change.

* * *

The family sat in the dining room for dinner. Daria should have realized something was unusual since they never used it for eating. As she expected, Val was dominating the conversation. While Daria could understand why a guest, of whom the rest of the family knew nothing about, would dominate the conversation, exceptions should be made for Val, who spoke of nothing but herself. The real surprise came from the fact that their mother would encourage this.

"And so that's why I created _Val." _Val had told a completely uninteresting and probably chock full of bull story loaded with a gratuitous use of first names for celebrities.

"That is quite fascinating." Helen said insincerely. Daria knew that her mother was bored and probably aggravated. But was what surprising to her was Finn's look of annoyance.

"So, Val, tell us more about the fashion trends." Was a line Finn often used during dinner. And, considering that Finn did not eat very much of the chili Jake had slaved over to impress Val, Daria was now starting to wonder if there was a monkey wrench in her plans.

"So, we try to be a lot edgier at _Val." _Val said in response for Finn. "That's why the clothes you'll see when we have Noni or Mario or any one of my friends are a little different than in other magazines."

"Because they already show them as being fashionable." Daria quickly asided. "They've moved on."

"Because there was something I was thinking about..." Finn started, but Val quickly interrupted.

"We've got to be edgy!" Val stated.

"Well, I know a thing about edgy..." Finn started, but Val continued as if she hadn't heard him.

"What's edgy?" Jake asked.

"Edgy is what Jenny does when she's thinking of her next CD." Val asked.

"Huh?" Jake was confused. "Who the hell is that?"

"Dad, it means..." Finn started, but Val launched into a discussion of the next greatest celebrity, and Daria could swear she heard Finn growl at her.

* * *

Finn did not accompany Val to the door with the rest of the family, claiming he was going to "clean up the dishes." The fact that Finn would do housework pretty much cemented it for Daria; he did not like Val. There would be no way in hell he'd spend the day with her. Which meant she was stuck with her.

"I'm sure that you two will have fun with each other." Helen stated while the family moved into the kitchen.

"What did you think, Finn?" Daria asked.

"I'm pretty sure that's a moving Fashion Club violation on so many levels." Finn stated as he quickly disposed of the rest of that chili disaster.

"She seems to want to meet all of my friends. But Jane is...not feeling well. Perhaps Finn should introduce her to all of his friends."

"Daria, you were the one who won the contest." Finn returned. "She should meet..." Finn trailed off.

"Actually, having her meet Jane is probably a bad idea." Finn stated. "I think she needs the Fashion Club."

"Fantastic idea." Daria quickly agreed.

"Wait, you're agreeing with me?"

"You saw her outfit." Daria returned.

"I'm pretty sure that's a violation on so many levels. I mean, isn't Val supposed to know this stuff. Once you get in your twenties, you can't wear that stuff."

"Those celebrities do."

"But celebrities are hot." Finn stated. "She's not."

"Finn, I'm surprised at your negative attitude." Helen stated.

"Aah! That's like Daria!" Finn nearly screamed.

"It's edgy!" Daria noted.

"Dammit, someone tell me what edgy is!" Jake finally chimed in on the conversation.

* * *

Val arrived at the house early.

"Good morning." Finn greeted pleasantly.

"Oh, are you two close?" Val asked. "I just think that is so cool when siblings can, like, get along like that. Not like Eric and Julia." Finn's eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets when he heard that.

"Of course." Daria's stomach started to knot in protest. "The suburban dream team. Finn's such a huge fan of the men's section."

"Oh, I am so glad!" Val emphatically smiled. "While our audience is for young girls like me, I know not all teens are girls."

"There'd be quite the population shortage soon enough. Though Barch would probably be pleased." Daria quickly noted. Finn rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure there are people dying to meet you." Finn stated.

"Oh, that will not do. This visit is supposed to be a secret."

"It's hard for it to be. You've brought issues of your magazine with you." Daria replied.

"You people read my magazine, don't you?"

"We don't hand them out in the hallway." Daria started. At school, the group were quickly accosted by Kevin and Brittany.

"Hi, Daria. Hi, Finn." Brittany stated cheerfully.

"Hey, Brit." Finn smiled pleasantly.

"Oh, you have a friend here?" Brittany smiled knowingly.

"Well, I suppose that's the price of being a celebrity." Val stated with mock disdain. "I'm Val, as in the editor of _Val."_

"I am such a huge fan of _Val_." Brittany stated cheerfully.

"Great!" Finn quickly chimed in. "Then I'm sure you two have a lot to discuss. I'm gonna go...hit the little boy's room." Finn started to move off as Brittany and Val talked, but Daria quickly grabbed him by the wrist.

"Where are you going? You went before we left."

"Look, this chick is your friend. Not mine. I know I'm the popular one, but you can have her. I don't mind, I really don't."

"What about the Fashion Club? I thought you said something about fixing the Fashion Club violation."

"Daria, you couldn't pay me to pass this chick around."

"Fine." Daria rose her hands up. "I'll just have to pass the time with telling her old stories. Like that time you drove the golf cart into the lake, or headbutted the stop sign."

"You told me you made that up!"

"Wouldn't that be great in the men's section of _Val?"_

"Alright, fine, I'll show her the Fashion Club. But I am not taking her to class."

"You might enjoy that. It'll prevent lectures if she talks about celebrities."

"I think I'd prefer class."

* * *

Daria and Finn returned to Val, who was talking to Brittany, who hung on her every word.

"Well, there's my girlfriend." Val moved over to Daria.

"Hi, Val. We were just, err...collaborating." Daria stated.

"Oh, I know how much trouble that can be sometimes. I mean, you've got to book clubs, and the magazine, and you still gotta make time just to hang with your teenage friends."

"Anyway, because of your magazine, Finn here thinks you should meet the Lawndale Fashion Club."

"Fashion Club? Oh, that would be just delish. I mean, there are so many things we're deciding on whether they are edgy and icky. Lead the way, Finn."

"I hate you so much, Daria." Finn sighed as he drug Val away.

* * *

Finding the Fashion Club was very difficult when one actually wanted to find them. Finn tried to ignore the people constantly calling him name. They usually did, for the most part, but Val would prattle on about the same old nonsense. It was hard enough stomaching it around Brittany.

"Yo, Finn!" Finn heard Joey call.

"_Crap." _He thought.

"Who's the cougar?" Jamie asked.

"Cougar?" Val asked. "I'm Val, as in _Val." _

"Who?" Jeffy asked.

"Anyway, Finn, I didn't think you were into older women." Jeffy stated.

"Older?" Val stated.

"I'm not!" Finn stated at the same time.

"Don't you boys know who I am? You'll see me with Drew or Noni."

"Nope." Jamie stated.

"I think we should move on." Finn stated.

"Oh, this is like, so depressing. Aren't you boys popular at all? I mean, come on, anyone who's anyone knows Val." Val did not seem pleased with them.

"Hey!" Finn stated.

"Come on, Finn, you don't need losers like them."

"Losers?" Jamie looked a bit disquiet. He always took what women said to heart.

"Hey, these guys are my buddies!" Finn immediately rallied to their defense.

"What? But they're not cool like Dar."

"Daria?" Finn replied. "You think she's cool? She's a brain. She doesn't care about celebrities or fashion. You saw what she wears. Or did you miss the last issue of _Waif _to see what's in."

"Finn, what are you, like totally unpopular?" Val returned. Finn paused.

"No, I'm the center of the football team, and captain of the boxing team. If you haven't noticed, and maybe you haven't considering how lost you are in your own world, everyone here has been calling my name, not yours."

"Wait, Dar is a brain?"

"Yeah. She's a brain, and totally unpopular, and about as pleasant as a piece of raw meat. But I'd rather listen to her than you."

"How dare you! Do you know who I am?"

"Some stupid magazine editor who couldn't make a fashion trend if it smacked her upside the head. Don't you know anything? Spaghetti straps are out for anyone out of college, mixing primary colors is never done during daylight hours, and we can totally tell you've dyed your hair. Wouldn't your high paid agent know you need to bleach your eyebrows to make it natural?"

Val actually started to look nervous for a moment.

"I...need to call my agent." She noted. Finn sighed.

"_So, the real world is still like high school. People just tell the stupid what to do. And here is the stupid." _Finn reached into her purse for her phone, but before she could, there was a soft voice calling out her name.

"Excuse me, are you that magazine editor, Val?" The voice was a girl, a freshman. Finn did not know her.

"Why, yes, I am." Val eagerly stated.

"Well, umm...I'm a big fan of yours, and uhhh...I have a...well, dating problem." The girl stuttered and was clearly nervous, but Finn couldn't tell if it was because of this aforementioned problem or because of Val. He hoped it was the former.

"Go ahead, sweetie. That's what Val is here for, to give teen girls advice."

"Well, umm...my boyfriend is a senior." She stated. "And, err...he...he wants me to...ummm...do it." The girl looked like she was about to faint. Finn was about to quickly step in, but the girl was paying attention to Val.

"Sweetie, go ahead and go for it. You only live once." Val stated. Finn's eyes bulged.

* * *

"Excuse me?" Finn stated, but both Val and the girl ignored her.

"You...you think so?" The girl stated. "But what about, y'know, babies?"

"Sweetie, Gwynnie asked me the same thing. She was like, 'Val, what about booking a job? Will my little girl have everything.' And I told her of course, Gwynnie, this isn't the 50's. Babies are natural." Val stated with a genuine enthusiasm.

"That doesn't mean to have them all the time." Finn remarked. Again, both women ignored him.

"And then Gwynnie had Apple. I was invited to the shower, of course. Such an edgy name, Apple." Val stated.

"There's a difference between edgy and stupid. That child is going to get beat up when she enters school." Finn remarked. "It's all just a stupid publicity game."

"Publicity is the game!" Val stated.

"Yeah, for celebrities. I thought you were supposed to be relating to teens. Listen, umm...whoever you are. Don't listen to this stupid chick. If you get pregnant, they'll put you in that stupid pregnant girl school, and everyone will know, and they'll talk about you behind your back. Maybe your boyfriend is a good guy and will stick around to help out, but you'll be pregnant, and once it's born, you'll have a baby. You think guys want to date a fifteen-year-old single mom? No chance."

"Ummm..." The girl looked back and forth between Val and Finn.

"Don't listen to this unpopular loser." Val stated.

"My name is Finn Morgendorffer, the most popular kid in school. You gonna take relationship advice from a woman who thinks Apple is a cool name for a child?" Finn expertly delivered. This school was his stage.

"Thanks, Finn!" The girl hugged him and darted off down the hall.

"What do you think you're doing?" Val stated.

"Giving her relationship advice. I have no idea why chicks ask other chicks for advice about guys. They're too catty, and think guys are too."

"You're speaking out against me?" Val was irate. Finn crossed his arms across his chest. He had told Daria he was not going to use his talents for profit anymore, but he was willing to have her criticize him if it meant getting rid of Val.

* * *

"So I managed to get Finn to take Val off my hands, and I haven't heard from them for a while." Daria told Jane as they walked down the hallway.

"Are you certain there haven't been any casualties?" Jane asked.

"If only I could bring myself to..." Daria started, but then she heard shouting in the hallway. And she recognized the voices: Finn and Val.

"Do you have any idea who you are messing with?" Val's voice sounded.

"Yeah, I know who you are. You've mentioned it all freaking day." Finn's quickly retaliated.

"There goes my trip to New York." Jane noted.

"Let's watch the carnage." Daria invited. They turned the corner to see a slight crowd gathering around the two.

* * *

"Yeah, I heard all the stupid stories about you and Mario or Jenny or whoever the hell else you know. Whoop-de-freaking-doo." Finn stated.

"I'm sure we'll never be seeing you in an underwear spread in _Val, _that's for sure."

"Wow, and here I thought you were actually going to do something horrible."

"As horrible as the advice you gave that girl?" Val dared.

"Oh, really? I'm sure plopping out kids now is the time to do it, huh?" Finn returned.

"Did he just..." Jane stated. Daria nodded. She had already figured out what happened.

"Gwynnie had a baby and look how well she said."

"Wanna know something? You and Gwynnie are both, what, sixty."

"Sixty! I am not sixty!" Val shouted.

"And you know what else you're not? Sixteen. Who the hell do you think you're fooling?"

"Age is a number. I'm in touch with the teen within."

"Really? Finn stated. "So in touch that you tell freshman girls to have sex because the baby will be no big deal? Last I checked, we don't have movie-star salaries to pay for all that baby crap. You're not trying to give girls advice on their lives, you're trying to tell them how awesome it is to be Val, and how sucky their lives are by comparison."

Val growled at Finn.

"Dar, there you are." She moved over to Daria.

"Your brother is such a...a...argh!"

"No, he's just finally started speaking sense." Daria challenged.

"What!"

"You could be spending your time telling teenage girls, and boys, things they could really use. Encourage them to understand politics, and not just the stupid Bill and Monica stories, or the values of a job well done, or having a worth of something more than what celebrities they know. All you do is try to sell your crap to stupid girls, and then try to convince yourself you are one." Daria expertly delivered.

"You don't understand how good it is to be a teen!" Val addressed both Daria and Finn.

"At least we are teens." Finn delivered. "Look around you. There are teenagers with real problems. You've got teens with pushy stage-mothers who never encourage their sons, or violent stepdads. You've got mothers who encourage their daughters that doing good things for others is just being taken advantage of. Those are teens who need a role model in their lives. You're just trying to make sure no one sees your wrinkles. And, Val, Oil of Olay. Look into it."

Val stormed off without another word, and the crowd shortly dispersed. Daria and Jane were left standing alone with Finn.

* * *

"Wow. I'm almost scared to ask what advice she gave that girl." Jane noted.

"Hmph. You mess with Finn's buddies, you get knocked on your ass." Finn flexed and smiled. "Well, I've gotta go change into my Lions uniform."

"Why?"

"Ms. Li is going to ask why Val never stopped by. She'll call the magazine, she'll call me into her office. Just a subtle reminder that the game in three weeks decides whether or not we go to Regionals." Finn chuckled.

"You really thought this through." Daria stated.

"Well, how do you get out of Ms. Li yelling at you?"

"I just don't get in trouble. Or I bring in Mom."

"Well, I better get going." Finn returned, and started to head for the gym.

"Well, that was something I wasn't expecting." Jane stated. "Sayonara, New York. Hello, boring weekend at Lawndale."

"We'd have to spend the day with her if we went to New York. At least when Val writes about the experience, it's going to be about Finn and not me."

"It looks like poor little Finnie's going to have to pull out all the stops to regain his popularity once that comes out. Chocolate sauce and honey, I think is the recipe. Wonder if unpopular girls get to watch. "

"I don't need to be warped anymore because of that woman."

"You think Mr. O'Neill will be unhappy that you won't get to write for _Val?_"

"I think Mr. O'Neill needs Val's relationship advice."

"With Ms. Barch?" Jane puzzled that one. "I think he should take Finn's advice."

"Finn giving advice for anything is just wrong."

"Hey, ease up. He told off Val, didn't he?" Jane pointed out. Daria said nothing, but she realized that the advice she had given Finn about encouraging people to be worth knowing had results even she wasn't intiially aware about.

It wasn't a bad thing, just unusual. For the first time in perhaps ever, Daria actually respected her brother for something other then his legendary jackassery. And she wasn't struck by lightning.


	20. Pet Store Peril

"Now, class, as I hand back your Career Aptitude Tests, I want you to consider the results that you have been given. Some of you might not be surprised at what you see, others of you may find new and exciting careers they never thought possible. And well, some further might want to consider summer school in order to, well, not remain in the food services sector." Mr. O'Neill started to pass back pages to his students.

"What did you get?" Joey asked once his gang finally all received their results.

"Mine says TV host." Jeffy stated.

"Hey, mine also says TV host." Joey noted.

"Wow, cool." Jamie noted before he opened his results. "Wait, mine also says TV host."

"How did that happen?" Joey puzzled.

"We couldn't have answered every single question the same, could we?" Jeffy wondered.

"Hey, Finn, what did you get?" Jamie asked.

"Did you also get TV host?" Jeffy asked. Finn already saw his results by the time the boys had began their discussion of TV hosts, but he looked at it again anyway, just to see, if maybe, the results had changed from what he saw the first time. But no, the results were the same.

"Yeah." Finn lied. "I got TV host. Either we're psychic or this test is just a load of crap."

"Hey, who was the best TV host of all time?" Jeffy asked as the three boys started to discuss various game show hosts. Finn, however, did not join in their game. He simply looked at his results another time to see their unchanged, silent answer.

And Finn sighed, for of all the results he was expecting, that was not one of them.

* * *

Finn's frown did not dissipate the rest of the day, and even after school ended, and Finn headed home, he was still as gloomy as ever as he fixed himself a snack.

"Hello, everyone!" Helen's voice sounded as she opened the door. "We just finished court this morning. Come on into the kitchen, Daria, and tell me about your day."

"An hour of invading parental concern to make up for the week of disappearing. Fun." Daria's sour voice sounded as she went into the kitchen.

"Oh, Finn, there you are. Now I don't have to find you." Helen stated. Finn did not reply, but focused on his bag of chips.

"How was your day, you two?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"The usual. Schedule some dates, thought of a cool new outfit I'll need to assemble. Just a plain old normal day." Finn crunched on a few more chips.

"And what about you, Daria?"

"Same old. Same old." Daria commented. Was she simply not pleased with the results of her test? Finn supposed there was no test where you couldn't deal with people.

"Didn't you kids have some kind of career test today?" Helen asked. Daria's eyes widened when she spoke that, and Finn believed his eyes probably did the same thing.

"How did you figure that out?" Daria asked.

"It was on the school calendar. I saw it while I was waiting for court to convene." Helen remarked. "So, tell me, what were your results?" She had been looking at Daria since she had replied last, so Finn saw an excuse to be completely silent, and maybe slip away during their talk.

"I'm sorry, but that information is classified." Daria noted.

"Then perhaps I should call the school. Or perhaps I'll stop by to bring something you 'forgot' at home?" Helen glared at her. Daria sighed, knowing the battle was lost, and reached into her backpack to pull out the manila folder the results came in.

"Mortician?" Helen seemed aghast by that result. Although Finn planned on staying quiet, he couldn't help but laugh.

"Daria, you should take more of an interest in your future." Helen stated sternly.

"_Not so fun when it's your neck, is it, Daria?" _Finn thought.

"And Finn, you must have taken one too, didn't you?" Helen turned to her other child, Finn turned white.

"Errr...I left it in my locker." Finn stated quickly.

"Finn, the same warning applies to you." Helen reminded.

"Dammit." Finn handed her his results.

"Finn, these are fantastic!" Helen was stern with Daria, but smiling at Finn.

"If you say so." Finn was not as impressed with his results.

"Project Manager." Helen stated. "Your attention to detail, masterful scheduling ability, and fiscal sense makes you an ideal candidate to plan long-term improvements. Finn, this is absolutely impressive."

"Okay." Finn's response was deadpan.

"Finn, what could be the problem?" Helen asked. Daria took this as her cue to leave the table.

"Well, to start with, what's a project manager?"

"Oh, is that all?" Helen stated. "Finn, a project manager is someone organizes and plans use of company resources to make long term projects come to fruition."

"And that is?"

"Well, here's a few examples. A company that's doing very well on the East Coast might open up a new office in Chicago. They might be constructing their own building, making sure it has all the essentials like water, power, cubicles, that sort of thing. They might tell the recruiters how many people they need. They make sure all those lazy contractors work on time."

"Ummm...okay." Finn did not appear to have his mind set at ease.

"Why couldn't I get something cool like TV host, or bouncer, or actor, or pro ball or something. What about all my natural charisma?"

"Finn, project managers are heavily charismatic. They are in charge of dozens, if not hundreds, of people." Helen clarified. "And this should make you happy to. It's a position with lots of prestige."

"If you say so. I'm gonna go work out." Finn put his chips away and headed upstairs.

* * *

Jake arrived home while Helen was putting the lasagna in the oven. She avoided any mention of Daria's test and concentrated on Finn's.

"Project management! That's great!" Jake was as enthusiastic as Helen was about the results. "That's our Finn for ya!" Helen nodded and laughed a little, but she started to remember Finn's own thoughts regarding it. He wanted more vulgar professions, jobs that, although glamourous and high-paying, were jobs without honor. Actors could do great things with their money, but they were just a night at the movies; they weren't saving lives with their jobs.

This, though, was different. Helen knew first hand just how important a project manager was, particularly during times of economic prosperity. The economy was cyclic, Helen knew, and how one managed their money when times were good was indicative of how they'd fare when times were bad.

"Jake, set the table." Helen instructed. She was going to head upstairs to talk with Finn. He needed to get more excited about this. She found her son working out, his usual routine.

"Finn?" Helen called.

"Is it time to eat?" He asked.

"No. I wanted to talk to you about your career aptitude test."

"Mom, you already know the results." Finn remarked.

"Finn, I'm just trying to figure out why you aren't excited by this. Maybe it wasn't what you were expecting, but it's still a very prestigious, important position.

"Eh, if you say so." Finn stated.

"Finn, you're probably just a little confused. You've never held a job before. You don't know what it's really about."

"Maybe." Finn remarked. Helen saw her opportunity, and took it.

"It is." Helen remarked. "People always act that way when they don't know what something is. I know you thought of something more glamorous and full of fame, but considering the business world is not a crime. The world revolves around it." Helen remarked. Finn was fidgeting on his bed. He was still uncertain about the whole thing.

"Maybe a part-time job would help." Helen remarked.

"Huh?"

"It might give you some perspective on the working world. I'm not forcing you into it, but it's something to consider."

"You mean, just for a little while?"

"Sure. There's a lot of people hiring these days. Take a job at the mall, work for a little while, just for some insight to help better understand why this is a worthwhile track for you. And the spending money is just a bonus."

"Ummm...okay. Sure, I'll try it." Finn replied.

"Good. Dinner's in twenty minutes." Helen stated as she went out the door to lecture Daria about getting a job. But as she walked in the hallway, she had a large smile on her face.

"_Seize the opportunities when you see them, Helen." _She thought. She knew how Finn had felt about her, and she knew that it was a long war she waged to overcome that. But this was important. If Finn gained respect for the business world, maybe he would understand the long hours she had to work. Business and law were not exactly the same thing, but long hours were a similarity.

Helen smiled even more as she knocked on Daria's door.

* * *

The next day after school, Finn went to the mall to look for a job.

"_Funny. I've been thinking about it all day yesterday, and it still feels weird." _He thought. Finn had caught the tail end of his mother's conversation with Daria, and she was delivered with the ultimatum of either getting a job herself or taking peer counseling at the school. Daria opted for the latter, but Finn knew that the person in charge of that was Tiffany Blum-Deckler, and Daria would be on her job search by tomorrow, guaranteed.

"_Wow, there are lots of places to look." _Finn thought. There were tons of help-wanted signs at the mall, but most of them were for stores he wouldn't dream of applying for. Finn stopped by Cashman's first to see if maybe Sean might cut him a deal, but they apparently had a policy of no under-21's, so Finn was out of luck there. There were a few stores that caught his interest, but once Finn saw what they sold, he backed out.

"_Hmmm...this is a hard decision. No wonder people hate making these grown-up decisions." _Finn thought. There was no way he was going to hock fried food, and let all that grease around his skin, so Finn wandered away from the food court, and ended up at the pet store.

"_Hey, there's an idea." _Finn thought. How hard could working with animals be? They were in cages, so it wasn't like they could run away.

"_Throw `em some food once in a while, tell them a sweet nothing. Hell, it's just like dating." _Finn thought as he entered the store.

Not long after he entered the store, he was greeted by one Mr. Matthews. Finn wondered if maybe he made a wrong decision when he noticed the bandage over the man's ear, but he brushed it off. Finn had been injured far worse on the football field.

"I'm, uhh...here about the job." Finn stated.

"Do you have any experience with animals?" The man asked.

"Ummm...I once returned a lost cat to it's owner." Finn noted.

"Can you follow simple instructions?"

"I play team sports, of course!"

"Okay, fine, I'll hire you." The owner stated.

"Horay! I'll start tomorrow!" Finn cheered.

* * *

Helen was enthusiastic when Finn told her he found a job.

"Yeah, I found it in the first place I looked." Finn noted. At that remark, Daria glared at him, although Finn didn't understand why.

"Peer counseling not going well?" Finn asked. Daria just glared at him again.

"She's looking for a job." Helen stated. "Although she doesn't appear to have found one."

"It's not my fault. The pet store was already taken." Daria noted.

"But there was like, a ton of help wanted signs at the mall." Finn replied absently.

"Can I throw something at him? It's what he wants." Daria noted.

"Daria." Helen scowled at her. "Finn, it's fantastic that you found a job."

"Yeah, I start tomorrow. Well, I'm gonna go work out and turn in. Night." Finn waved as he went upstairs. He smiled with self-satisfaction as Helen returned to lecture on Daria.

"_Finally. It might have taken years, but finally, she's not telling me to be Daria." _

_

* * *

_

Finn was eager to start work the next day. Mr. Matthews took him around the pet store and introduced him to all the animals. He had named all of them.

"Ummm, before I forget, Mr. Matthews, I noticed your ear. These animals are safe, aren't they?"

"Sure, of course. Wouldn't hurt a fly."

"But don't they eat each other? Like putting the dogs with the cats?"

"They would if you don't feed `em. Now, I have very specific instructions on how to feed and water these animals. These iguanas here..." Mr. Matthews moved to a cage with very ugly reptiles, but Finn started groaning inwardly, wondering if he had made a huge mistake picking this job.

Once Mr. Matthews finished his long, boring lecture, Finn started walking around the cages, trying to look busy. His first customer showing up was a mom with her young son.

"Hi!" Finn said personably. "Welcome to Our Furry and Scaly Friends."

"Hello there. We were thinking of looking at the kittens." The mother noted.

"Sure, right this way." Finn lead them over to the section for the cats.

"Let's see, Mr. Matthews told me their names. That one is Gumdrop, that one is Fluffers, the white one is...uhhh..."

"Oh, that's all right, dear, why don't you look at them, sweetie." The mother invited. The son got on his knees and went for the white cat. When he moved to pick it up, however, the cat scratched him across the arm.

"Oh, dear!" The mother immediately grabbed her son.

"That wasn't me!" Finn noted. "I did nothing to those cats, and I fed them at the right time and everything. Mr. Matthews said they get a small bit once every three hours and he fed them at 2 and it's only 3:45. Or did he feed them at noon, and the puppies at two? That couldn't be it, and even then it's..." Finn started to ramble. By the time he finished, the mother and the son had already left the store.

"_Phew. No one to tattle_." Finn thought. He turned back to the cats to place them back in their cages, when he noticed the white one was missing.

"Uh-oh. Come on, it couldn't have wandered far." Finn started to look around the store, but then he stopped when he realized the other cats were starting to move. When he moved to pick them up, Gumdrop scratched him.

"_Oh crap, he did feed them at 12, didn't he." _

_

* * *

_

Somehow, Finn managed to make it through the rest of the day without another incident, although he never did find that white cat. He managed to lie to Mr. Matthews and tell him that someone had purchased him, but the endeavor took money out of Finn's pocket.

"_Is that how the working world works? This sucks!" _Finn thought as he left the store. As he left the store to head for the mall exit, he noticed a nut stand.

"_Ooh, maybe some honey-roasted peanuts will cheer me up." _Finn thought as he moved over to the stand. There, he found Kevin Thompson, as well as Daria.

"Well, take a look here." Finn teasingly came up.

"Hey, Finn." Kevin said. "Oh, I mean, uhh...Welcome to it's a Nutty Nut World. Crunch your lunch and munch your nuts."

"Kevin, I don't want to eat my own nuts, they're fine where they are." Finn replied.

"Aw, man, I messed up again!" Kevin moaned.

"What do you want, Finn?" Daria asked."

"I'll take a half-pound of honey-roasted peanuts."

"Oooh, oooh! I got this, I got this!" Kevin cheered as he started moving to the stand of nuts. He appeared to be mulling over the different nuts, trying to discover which ones were the ones Finn requested.

"So, how did you get this job?" Finn asked his sister.

"I can bag nuts. Literacy and the ability to read a scale is just a plus." Daria replied. "Are you done tormenting me? This is hell enough."

"Daria, I actually did come here to get some peanuts." Finn noted. "And I think maybe Kevin need some help, because he's about to give me cashews." Daria turned towards Kevin.

"Kevin, do you know what honey is?" Daria asked.

"Yeah, that's the thing bees make!"

"Do you know how to spell it?"

"Sure, it's H-U-N-N-Y. I remember that from Winnie the Pooh way back in kindergarten!" Kevin cheered. "Now if only I could find it here."

"And that is the high point of your intellectual achievements." Daria sniped. Finn couldn't help but agree. He waited about five minutes more before Daria just gave up and sold Finn the nuts herself.

"Hey, you didn't smile. It says on the sign if there's no smile, my nuts are free," Finn noted.

"The only thing that your nuts needs is a swift kick. With cleats. Now, pay up." Daria returned.

"Hey, Daria, you've lived in our house longer than I have. When something is free, you take it!" Finn grabbed his snack and walked off.

* * *

As he was walking home, Finn found the scratch from the cat was starting to hurt again.

"_This job sucks." _Finn thought. The cat may have been the lowest point of the day, but nothing about the job world was fun. The customers were rude as hell, Mr. Matthews was a freaking slave-driver, caring more for the animals than for his employee, and to top it off, Finn was now even more poor than before.

Daria had beaten Finn home from the mall. Perhaps Jane had taken her home? Finn didn't think that was possible; Daria would never let anyone see her in that ridiculous squirrel outfit unless she had no choice.

"Oh, Finn, there you are." Helen was already home. "I'm eager to hear just how your first day of work went."

"Crappy." Finn stated, not having the effort to lie.

"Oh?" Helen noted.

"Remember that story I told you about the cat falling from the second floor into the fountain?" Daria noted. "I think we found our culprit."

"That wasn't my fault!" Finn returned.

"On the upside, I did the top sales of the day."

"You were being compared to Kevin, he couldn't remember where everything is."

"I still get recognition for it." Daria replied. "I'm thinking of early retirement."

"Daria, you're not quitting." Helen returned. "Not until you understand the importance of social interactions." Helen started her lecture, Finn excused himself.

* * *

Helen came up to Finn's room shortly before dinner.

"Finn, I am sorry that your first day wasn't what you thought it would be." She stated.

"It's was a nightmare." Finn replied. He moaned as he rubbed peroxide onto his scratch wound.

"Finn, let me get that." Helen expertly treated his injury.

"Thanks." He grimaced.

"You men. Macho with everything except for two things. Beauty and pain." Helen teased.

"I've suffered for my looks."

"Shave your legs, then we'll talk." Helen replied. "Listen, Finn, I know you want to quit."

"But I didn't say..." Finn started.

"Finn, give me a little credit." Helen noted as she applied the bandage.

"Look, I'm going to force you to work at it, but stick it out. Not everything goes the way you want to, and you won't gain perspective in one day."

"Ummm...okay. I'll keep at it."

"Great!" Helen noted. She kissed her son on the forehead before she left the room.

"_I hope this is worth it, Mom. I know this makes you happy, but I don't know how much more of that store I can take." _

_

* * *

_

An entire week passed by, and, while there were no more problems like the cat that drowned, nothing else was any better. Finn found a new sort of hatred for Joanne, the boa constrictor, who was apparently Mr. Matthews's pride and joy. Finn didn't have to feed it, thankfully: Mr. Matthews did that himself. But Finn still had to make sure the water was the right temperature, the light on his cage wasn't flickering. None of this crap made any sense to Finn, and he figured it was just the fussy boss again.

The snake did not appreciate Finn's proximity, and, while it didn't bite, it would wrap itself around his arm.

"_There's only one use for things like you. A pattern to follow for luggage." _Finn groaned each time he had to peel the snake off.

Finn had a few customers, who were just lookie-loos who didn't buy anything, he found the only exciting part of the day happened when Jane stopped by.

"Jane?" He was confused. He had not told her he had gotten this job; he hadn't told anyone.

"Wow, I had to see if the rumors were true." Jane noted.

"And by rumors, you mean..."

"Daria told me two days ago." Jane noted.

"This job is a nightmare."

"Sorry.'

"Not your fault." Finn noted. "Anyway, I'm going to try and tough this out. How bad could it be."

"There's a bandage on your upper arm." Jane stated.

"Oh, that's nothing." Finn shrugged.

"Well, see you. I've got my own plans for today." Jane left the pet store and headed towards the nut stand. Was she going to see Daria? Odd that Daria would allow that.

* * *

But Finn had no time for that now. As soon as Jane left, customers came in, who had a desire to look at the puppies.

"Okay, sure." Finn went to get the puppies.

"Oh, Finn." He was stopped by Mr. Matthews, who saw him take the puppies out of their cages.

"Don't forget." The man stated without waiting for Finn to acknowledge him. "That floor is murder on the puppy's rough claws."

"Should I get an empty table."

"No! Then they'll get fur on it." Mr. Matthews went back to his office. Finn sighed. Nothing was ever simple.

"_Okay, what'll work..." _Finn thought, as he gaze drifted towards Joanne's cage.

"_Perfect!" _He thought as he regarded the lid to the cage. He removed it and placed it upside-down on the floor, then laid the puppies out.

"Okay, take your pick." Finn offered as the child looked at the puppies. "You've got Fifi, Snuggles is the one in the back..."

"I like this one!" The boy stated.

"Oh, Bark? Okay." Finn moved over to the register as the mother fished in her purse for her credit card. But, all of a sudden, she let out a scream.

"What?"

"S...snake!" The woman shrieked. Finn followed her gaze to watch Joanne slither off on the floor.

"How did she get out of the cage?" Finn wondered.

"Poisonous snake!" The woman shrieked.

"Calm down, it's a boa constrictor, they're not poisonous, they just suffocate things. Or, if they're small enough, they swallow things whole. I know it doesn't have teeth, so how else could it do it!"

The woman shrieked a third time, grabbed her son's hand, and dragged him out of the store.

* * *

"Hey, come back!" Finn called. He moved towards wear Joanne had slithered off too, but then he heard the puppies barking and realized he had to put them away before they wandered off like that cat did. Once they were safely away, and Joanne's cage lid was back in it's place, Finn looked around for the errant snake. But he couldn't find it.

"_Oh crap!" _Finn thought. If Mr. Matthews saw this, he'd flip his lid, and then Finn would probably be fired. And then his mother would be so disappointed.

"_Okay, Finn. Calm down. It's still just a stupid animal. Catch it the same way anything else does. Set out some food and watch." _Finn thought. Now what did snakes eat?

"_I'm in a pet store, come on, Finn. Even you know this." _He smiled a moment later as he opened the gerbil cage. Snakes, he knew, ate mice, but these were close enough. The gerbils scampered around the floor, and Finn started to watch, to see if Joanne would come out. Time passed, and nothing happened; Joanne didn't show up.

Finally, Finn got bored of waiting and started to look around for the snake himself. But no matter where he looked, he couldn't seem to find her.

He sighed. Today was really sucking. Not only did he miss out on the puppy sale, but the snake was missing. It had probably eaten one or more of the gerbils, and the injury on his arm was acting up.

"_The only thing that could make this worse..." _Finn started to think, but, as if on cue, the Fashion Club strode into the pet store.

"_Lovely." _Finn thought. He didn't have the patience for Sandi today.

"Finn, I couldn't believe it when I heard it." Sandi stated with mock sincerity. During his night at the dance, as she had not been there. He figured gossip would get around to her eventually, but it seemed that girl just didn't take no for an answer.

"Are you working here?" Tiffany asked.

"Hi, girls. I'm sorry I don't have time to chat, I need to find Joanne." Finn dismissed.

"Who is that?" Brooke asked.

"It's a boa constrictor. Oh, great, I need to feed some of the animals now. If you see it slithering around, just give a holler." Finn moved over towards the rabbit cages, which he'd hit before feeding the six canaries. Just as he started to finish, however, he heard another shriek.

"_Oh, the gerbils. Right." _Finn moaned as he turned around.

"Vermin!" Sandi screamed.

"_How can you chicks be scared of gerbils. They don't have rabies or anything. I think they don't have rabies. Can gerbils get rabies?" _Finn thought. This was getting to be far too much for him, and Finn took a brief moment to catch his breath at the store door. He glanced over towards the nut stand. How did Daria score such an easy job. Finn could sell nuts all day. And he could read well enough to tell what nut was what, so he'd already be better at it then Kevin.

A second after Finn started to look at the stand, he noticed his mother walk out of the stand. She had Daria by the hand, and she was talking to the manager. Finn wanted to move in closer, but he couldn't leave the store. He couldn't hear his mother, but he saw her tell off the manager, and she stormed off, Daria in tow.

"_What? You yell and moan about Daria needing a job to improve her skills, and the second she bitches about it, you crusade in.." _Finn was livid. There was his mother's passionate favoritism, in all it's glory. When Finn complained about his job, he just got a "tough crap." When Daria complained about it, she was rescued the second Finn had his back turned. Finn retreated into the pet store so his mother wouldn't see him. Sure enough, mother and daughter continued on their path, storming by the pet store.

"Don't worry Daria, you won't have to work for that man again." Helen stated as she stormed past the pet store. Finn caught a whiff of peanuts, probably Daria from the nut stand. At this smell, the gerbils on the floor seemed to get excited and chase after her. But both Helen and Daria stormed past the store.

"_And they didn't even stop to see me. Lovely." _Finn was infuriated with his mother. Mothers weren't supposed to play favorites, and, now, when Finn finally thought he could make his mother happy, she lost all interest the second Daria had a problem.

"_Screw. This." _Finn thought angrily. He immediately pulled his apron off and started to walk out.

"Hey, Finn, where are you going!" Mr. Matthews called.

"I'm quitting." Finn dismissed. "And by the way, Joanne got loose." Finn stormed off.

"Get this off me!" Tiffany screamed. It seemed that she had found Joanne first. Good for her.

"Maybe you should get that." Finn stated to his former boss. "After all, Joanne's got sensitive scales, and the moisturizer Tiffany uses probably isn't good for her." Finn walked off and out of the mall, not caring anymore about that place of hell called Our Furry and Scaly Friends.

* * *

The family was home when Finn arrived. Although Finn pleasantly acknowledged his dad, he said not a word to his mother or Daria. Finn decided to skip dinner, despite his hunger, as he couldn't even look at his mother now. Daria was a wimp and a coward; whining about her easy-ass job, but it was his mother Finn reserved his hate for.

"_I guess that's it. Your signal is coming in loud and clear, Mom. I'm the other, the one you didn't want. Well, I'm not going to apologize. It's not my fault I was born. Blame your fertile womb." _Finn went upstairs into his room. He turned on his music, and started looking around his room. Finn had tons upon tons of pictures in his room: friends and family dominated them. Finn carefully looked at each one and removed from the frames any picture that had his mother in them.

"_God, what the hell is wrong with me?" _Finn thought. "_I knew better. I knew Mom didn't care about me. Why was I deluding myself? It doesn't matter, I guess. Fine. If that's how it is, then screw you, Mom. I'm not going to posture myself for your handouts that you'll forget the second Daria comes along." _

After he was done, Finn sat on his bed. He was grateful for the loud music, for it muffled the sounds of his sobs.


	21. Jane Errs

Finn was seated in Jane's room. She was on her knees with a power drill applying it to a piece of black wood, while he watched her from the bed. Helen had planned for a "family" dinner tonight, whatever that meant, and, after the whole incident with the job at the pet store, Finn had been avoiding any sort of family togetherness time with her. She didn't need to keep up the pretense: She kept the family fed and warm at night, and that's all Child Services cared about.

"_Heh. If we were doing it at our house, Mom would be spying from the doorway because I had a girl in my room, and Daria would be at my sports drink with the poison." _Finn chuckled to himself. He did nothing but watch Jane at her work.

While Finn still didn't feel any special romantic stirrings for Jane, there was still something...different about her that intrigued him. Much like Stacy, she wasn't like other girls. But, while Stacy was kind and sweet, like an apple, Jane was bold and rich, like a piece of gourmet dark chocolate. Or blunt as a baseball bat. Either way, Jane was very satisfying to be around, and Finn enjoyed his time with her.

Part of Finn was disappointed that Jane didn't stick with track. By now, she would have easily joined the "girl-jock" clique, and would hang out with his crew in public. But then, Finn realized that the hurdle in their friendship was Daria. She was pretty vicious to him in her everyday, boring way. Finn could only shudder at the idea of actually giving her an excuse to hurt him. Not that it made sense anyway: How, exactly, was being friends with Jane Lane so bad. But it was Daria, who would say night is day if it meant screwing with Finn.

* * *

Jane took a break from her drilling to step back and look at her handiwork.

"Hmmm..." She pondered aloud, but then she heard a door shut from downstairs.

"Is that Trent?" Finn asked.

"I couldn't imagine him putting that much force in shutting a door."

"Your mom is home, isn't she?"

"I can still hear her stereo from the basement." Jane returned. "She'd shut it off if she went upstairs. Must be a family visit." Jane looked at the drill in her hand, as if wondering whether to greet the family member or continue her work. Ultimately, she put the drill down after her deliberations, although Finn wondered if he caught a glimpse of disappointment in her eye.

Finn followed her downstairs. She went into the kitchen, although Finn was pretty sure "kitchen" was just a word in the Lane house, as there was never food there of any kind.

"_No wonder you scam stuff at my place." _Finn thought. There were two young men in the kitchen. One of them was Trent, and the other was someone Finn had never seen before. He was older then Trent, with long blonde hair. He seemed pleasant and friendly, but Finn caught a hint of fatigue in the man's face, as if he hadn't been sleeping well.

"Trent!" The man gave Trent a hug.

"Hey, Wind." Trent noted. So this was Wind, Jane's other older brother.

"Janey!" Wind smiled at his sister and kissed each of her cheeks. He then turned to regard Finn.

"Oh, we have a new little brother and I never saw him?" Wind seemed perplexed.

"No..." Jane started, but Wind continued to speak to Finn and did not seem to hear her.

"_You'd expect a little brother you haven't seen for fifteen years?" _Finn thought. But, then again, he had never seen Wind, or any member of Jane's family other then Trent, or the rare glimpse of the Lane matriarch, Amanda. Perhaps they did disappear for years at a time, and might expect the same from their other siblings. Even the minors.

"No, Wind, this isn't a new little brother, and please, don't run that idea by Mom." Jane replied.

"Oh." Wind paused a minute, then he smiled a sly smile.

"Jane, look at you. You've got a man already."

"Huh?" Finn stated.

"Is the thought that scary?" Jane noted.

"No...err...no, of course not." Finn scratched the back of his head.

"Relax, Finn. Just teasing." Jane patted him on the back.

"So..." Wind started.

"Wind, this is Finn. He's a friend of mine." Jane stated.

"Nice to meet you." Finn extended his hand for a handshake, but Wind gave him a big hug.

"Any friend of my little Janey's is a friend of mine." Wind stated warmly. "Hey, you go on a lot of dates?"

"I like girls, thanks."

"Not that, I mean, you seem like the kind of guy who dates a lot."

"Well, yeah." Finn replied.

"Well, then maybe you can give me a little advice." Wind started to sniffle a bit. "Well, you see, I just cleared out of my houseboat with Katie and..." Then Wind started to bawl, and grabbed Finn by the collar, starting to sob into his shirt.

"Oh, Katie, why won't you let me love you!" Wind stated.

"O...kay." Finn was confused.

"Don't answer him." Jane whispered in Finn's ear. "It's a trap." Jane helped Finn peel Wind off him. Surprisingly, Wind didn't even seem to notice. The two left Wind with Trent and headed into the living room.

* * *

"Sorry about that." Jane noted.

"His relationship is that bad? Why doesn't he just dump her and find someone who appreciates him? I'd never take that crap from someone who kicked me out of my houseboat." Finn replied. "Now I want a houseboat."

"Well, Wind did try that, once. But then he got saddled with alimony. Twice."

"What does he do to pay for that?" Finn asked. Jane was silent.

"You know, I think I've been meaning to ask that." Jane noted. Finn was about to reply, but then the doorbell rang. Jane moved over to the door to answer it. Standing there was a woman with short fiery red hair, holding a cage and a backpack. Finn found her slightly attractive, but Jane was prettier, not to mention closer to his age.

"Penny?" Jane stated in shock. Finn remembered that name: She was another of the Lane siblings, who made crafts in third world countries.

"Oh, it's Jane." Penny noted. "You haven't ventured out into the world yet?"

"I'm still in high school."

"Poor you. High school blows." Penny moved into the house, and stopped when she regarded Finn.

"I really haven't been back in a while." Penny noted as she regarded the football player."I had no idea Mom had another kid. Kinda cool, to have another little brother. Where's she been keeping you?"

"Penny, this is Finn, he's a friend of mine." Jane noted.

"Nice to meet you." Finn started to offer Penny a handshake, but as his arm got close, a loud screeching sound from the cage caused Finn to retract his hand.

"Careful, Chiquito doesn't like to share." Penny replied in a serious tone. "So, Jane, you got yourself a boyfriend. Just take some womanly advice and don't end up like Wind. Do I hear him sobbing in the kitchen? Guess Claudia had her fun with him. Bitch."

"We're not dating. We're just friends." Finn clarified. Penny shrugged, and moved further into the house.

* * *

"So, that's the one who was in Costa Rica?" Finn asked once Penny disappeared.

"Was that were it was..." Jane puzzled, but then the doorbell rang again. Jane opened the door to discover a tall, wiry gentleman.

"Dad?" Jane asked.

"Janey! Give your father a hug!" The man introduced. Without asking for approval, he hugged his daughter. After letting her go and shutting the door, he regarded the newcomer in his midst.

"Err..." The man started.

"Dad, don't you remember me? I'm your youngest child, Sky." Finn teased. "I'm fifteen, now.."

"Oh!" The man actually seemed surprised for a moment. Finn caught Jane smiling at his joke.

"Wait, even I know that's not right..." The man started. "Anyway, I don't have time to figure it out now. I've got some prints to develop."

"Oh, you're finished with the rock formations?" Finn asked.

"You knew about that?" Jane asked.

"You told me."

"Oh yeah."

"That's a good boy, Sky." The man stated. "Now, I've gotta get this stuff all unpacked." The man slung his backpack over his shoulder and went up the stairs.

* * *

"I take it you weren't expecting all of your family to show up like this." Finn noted to Jane when the two of them went outside to the backyard.

"Wind might show up on occasion, but Dad and Penny? That came out of left field." Jane noted. "Anyway, it looks like Mom is the one going to be in for a shock."

"Wish I knew she was here. Wonder if I could pull Sky Lane over on her. Fifteen years worth of birthday presents is a pretty sweet gig all at once."

"I would think she'd remember pushing them out, but it just might work." Jane teased. "Anyway, it looks like I'm in for hell for a while."

"Well, if I can help, let me know."

"I might have need for a bouncer." Jane smiled.

"Well, I gotta head home. See ya." Finn smiled and started the walk back home.

* * *

Helen sighed as she sat on the couch. Jake was engrossed in a basketball game. She heard the door open, and saw Finn step in.

"Oh, Finn, where were you?" Helen asked.

"A friend's." Finn replied tersely.

"I thought we made plans to have a family dinner together."

"No, you told us to show up for a family dinner. You didn't ask if we had made plans." Finn expertly construed.

"Besides, I'm finished all the magazines I had. I don't have enough reading material for a family dinner. Well, I'm gonna work out." Finn went upstairs without another word.

Helen sighed.

"Honey, something the matter!" Jake said energetically, still watching the TV. Helen shut it off without another word.

"Jake, are you worried we're losing the children?" Helen reflected sadly.

"Of course not. They're right upstairs. Is Daria upstairs?" Jake noted.

"I try to make myself available." Helen looked at the ground. "I try to talk to them, but Daria just blows me off with a sour comment. And Finn, I'm surprised he still comes here to sleep."

"_Oh my God, did I just say that?" _Helen thought. It was true that Finn had been extremely angry about something as of late, and had made a conscious effort to avoid her.

Helen was sure this would just blow over. Perhaps she missed a football game that was important to him, or tried to offer a suggestion he was too stubborn to realize would be good for him. But that didn't mean his anger didn't bother her.

"Oh, Finn's fine!" Jake stated. He moved for the remote, but Helen grabbed it first.

"What else can I do to get to know them better."

"Hidden cameras?" Jake asked.

"Jake, do you even know the basic facts about our children?"

"Sure! Finn's favorite team is the Packers, his position is the..." Jake started.

"Jake, there's more to Finn then his athletics. Do you know his blood type? Or Daria's."

"Ummm...let's see, blood type is the one where it's a letter....D?"

"Jake, what is Daria's shoe size?" Helen posed.

"Errr...four?"

"Jake, do you remember our anniversary?" Helen stated. Jake started to visibly sweat.

"Dammit, Jake, how can you be so oblivious." Helen stormed up to her room in anger. Jake looked up at the stairs, then sighed and returned to the game.

* * *

The entire Lane family coming together at the same time had it's novelty wear off soon after Finn left. Jane wasn't sure if it was when her father commandeered the bathroom to rinse off his prints, or Penny's yelling into the phone with whoever it was in Costa Rica she was talking to. Apparently, a volcano wiped out her craft stand, and she was trying to be compensated.

"_I don't think Costa Rica has that kind of insurance, and I'm sure if they do, there's fine print that will cut out volcanos." _Jane thought. This was hell. It was bad enough to go to a family reunion with extended relatives Jane wouldn't even consider talking to in normal circumstances. These were her own flesh and blood; there was nothing more horrific.

Jane wondered what exactly she would do in regards to this. Trent had a problem like this once where he lived in a tent in the yard. Jane had been in charge of taking him food, and, for the life of her, Jane still didn't know why exactly he had done so. Trent had told her he was "waiting for someone to invite him back into the house," but Jane reasoned that he was trying to avoid the rest of the family.

"_Now I need a plan." _Jane thought. She wasn't about to sleep in the yard: Wind could still sneak into the tent and sob. And Jane didn't exactly know anyone's place she could crash at besides Daria's, and that presented it's own sort of problem: It would be impossible to avoid Finn. While she and Finn had been extremely discrete regarding their relationship, they had never be together close to Daria; Finn always just passed her in the hallway.

Jane reasoned that she probably could have just avoided Finn, and Finn would probably even understand, but Jane didn't like that arrangement. Daria would probably bad-mouth her brother, and expect Jane to be fire in tandem. And Jane would not do that. When Jane took the time to get to know Finn, she found that Daria's hatred of him was not well-deserved. Maybe he was different behind closed doors, but Jane could not believe that Finn deserved unilateral hatred.

Jane reasoned she could probably talk to her mother about this sort of thing. Amanda Lane would probably get frustrated with the family too. At least, she would as soon as Penny started revamping her business with her kiln.

* * *

"Hey, Mom?" Jane went downstairs to find her mother at the pottery wheel, gently sculpting a vase.

"Hello, Jane." Amanda Lane greeted her daughter with a smile.

"I wanted to ask you about the whole family sticking around here." Jane replied.

"Isn't it grand?" Amanda noted. "So rarely do I get to see even one of my beautiful children. Now I get four of them."

"_Please, for the love of everything holy, do not get the idea to invite Summer." _Jane thought of the last Lane sibling, who was probably tracking down one or more of her children, who ran away so frequently, they were probably home as often as Jane's own parents. And they disappeared for months at a time.

"_At least it keeps her busy." _Jane thought.

"What is it, dear?"

"Well, I don't know how to put this, but Dad's been using the bathroom as his darkroom. It's getting rather aggravating to go in a bottle."

"Oh, Jane. There is no need to worry. Things will return to their natural course soon enough."

"That's not soon enough." Jane remarked. "I lack the parts to just go behind a tree, and I don't trust those neighbors of ours not to look."

"Jane, the family will return to their own lives eventually. We should enjoy what little time we have together.'

"_Enjoy? Everyone's still doing their own thing. Even when you're here, Mom, it's rare I even get a hello. I don't mind, but what's there to enjoy about this?" _Jane thought. Her mother returned to her pottery, and Jane went back upstairs to her room. Inside, she found Wind sobbing on her bed.

"Wind, can't you take that in your room?" Jane asked. Wind started bawling even more.

"Oh, even my own sister doesn't love me!" Wind cried. Jane would have felt bad if Wind hadn't been soaking her sheets. Instead, Jane turned to her easel, and her eyes widened in horror as Chiquito, Penny's pet parrot, had perched itself on her palette, ruining the mixed color Jane labored extensively to create.

"_That's it, I draw the line at painticide." _

_

* * *

_

After dinner, Daria was reading alone on the couch, reading the book she had started during dinner. It was a rare moment of peace in the Morgendorffer household. The family had just finished another family dinner, and the book really helped distract Daria from the probing questions her mother was asking. Thankfully, after catching the hint, she had turned her discussion to Finn, who blew her off much the same way with an exercise magazine. And now, dinner was over, and Jake Morgendorffer was snoring on the couch. Helen Morgendorffer was probably off talking with that boss of hers, who called for whatever reason popped into his head. And Finn was upstairs in his room, performing his daily ritual of appeasing the gods by picking up heavy things and putting them down again.

It was too peaceful in the house, and Daria almost suspected a trap. True enough, the doorbell rang a moment later. Daria gently set her book down to answer the door. She heard Finn start to descend from the staircase, but Daria reached the door first, and opened the door to discover Jane, holding her easel and a backpack.

"Yo." Daria stated. It wasn't common, but not unusual, for Jane to show up randomly. Though not with her easel.

"Can I come in?" Jane asked. Daria nodded, and invited her into the living room.

"I don't have a date tonight. Who could that..." Finn started to complete his descent.

"Jane!" Finn seemed surprised to see her here. Why would be anyone's guess: Finn wasn't privy to the details of her schedule.

"Oh, hey, Finn." Jane replied coolly. Finn seemed to regain his composure, and simply wave while he moved his way into the kitchen. As he went there, Helen, with a date book in her hand, emerged from the kitchen.

"Oh, Jane?" Helen also seemed surprised. "You're here kind of late."

"Yeah. I was just wondering if I could delve into the world of the normal teenage girl and have a sleepover."

"Huh?" Helen stated. Finn soon peeked his head back from the kitchen. Daria was surprised too.

"What's going on?" Daria asked.

"My family has all decided to come home together under the same roof. I'm surprised I made it out in one piece. Or without murdering Penny's parrot." Jane explained.

"Jane, with your family?" Helen seemed aghast

"Mrs. Morgendorffer, have you met my family."

"I know your mother."

"I'd encourage you to visit them for yourself, but even I'm not that cruel." Jane remarked.

"Sure, why not!" Jake energetically agreed from the couch, only having recently been awoken.

"Jake! You can't make those kinds of decisions just on..." Helen started.

"Eh, whatever." Finn shrugged. "She wants to stay, fine."

"Finn? I know that Jane is..." Helen started.

"Mom, we don't need some story. And besides, don't you have Eric on hold? I say she does whatever." Finn shrugged before heading back upstairs to continue his workout.

"That was unusual." Daria noted to Jane.

"Hey, I'll take Finn's support if it means I don't have to spend a night back there."

"Well, Jane, if you're alright with it, then you're welcome to stay with us for a night or two." Helen stated before returning back into the kitchen where the phone had been left. Daria soon heard the sounds of Helen talking about some case. Jake returned to the couch, and, with Daria no longer occupying it, he kicked off his shoes, placed the newspaper over his face, and was snoring again within a minute.

"You know, I think I like your family's idea of family togetherness." Jane commented.

* * *

When the day was warm enough, Helen liked to start all of her days with a speedwalk. As she walked down the road, she saw Jane jog past her.

"Oh, Jane!" Helen called. Normally, she did all of her speedwalking alone, but Jane was in a very unique position among anyone Helen had ever known: She knew both Daria and Finn. Helen had already known that she was Daria's friend, but Helen had caught the rare glimpse of Finn and Jane together a few times. While Finn never spoke about it, Helen was willing to wager that both of her children shared a similarity in friendship with this girl.

"Oh, hello, Mrs. Morgendorffer." Jane stated.

"I must say that I rather enjoy the idea of you staying with us for a while." Helen praised. Jane eyed her warily, as if they were predators waiting for the other to strike first.

"Well, you're Daria's best friend, and you know Finn very well, and it's hard to talk to either of them about anything..."

"Finn? I think you're mistaken, Mrs. Morgendorffer. I barely know Finn."

"Jane, I'm not stupid." Helen returned with a glare. "Finn wouldn't take just any girl with him to the shooting range, even if it was to help you keep a steady hand." Jane paused for a moment, and sighed.

"I'm not criticizing you." Helen assured. "I just wanted to ask, well, it's so hard to talk to either of them..."

"Three questions max. No betrayals. Complete secrecy required, in every sense of the word. And you know what I mean by that. And one person per question."

"Agreed." Helen stated quickly.

"Does Daria do any drugs?" Helen asked.

"I can tell you what it is once I find out the secret ingredient in the pizza grease. Other than that, just caffeine."

"Does Finn have any body image issues?"

"I'd think the amount of time he spends working out classifies, but he doesn't have an eating disorder."

"Okay, and now the last." Helen paused. She thought of the question in her head, and wondered whether or not it would be a weakness to say it aloud.

"_Does Finn love me?" _Helen thought. Would Jane even know the naswer? Would she tell Finn she asked it?

There were other ways to ask that question. Did Finn know she cared for him, what did Finn think of her.

"How can I get Finn to open up to me." Helen muttered, not realizing she had said it aloud.

"Truth serum." Jane jabbed sarcastically.

"Did I just ask that out loud?" Helen wondered.

"I'll just forget about it." Jane was about to pick up her speed when Helen grabbed her by the wrist.

"Well, I've already asked it. You said you'd answer."

"Ask your husband." Jane replied. "This falls under the category of no betrayals." And Jane sped off, while Helen's gait slowed. She couldn't even speedwalk. It took most of her effort just to sigh.

* * *

There was no school on a Saturday, so soon after Jane's jog, she started to head up towards Daria's room. She heard the shower running, and she wondered which of the two siblings were using it. Her question was answered a moment later, when she saw Finn's door swing open and out stepped the younger Morgendorffer sibling. He appeared to have just woken up, and it was clear to Jane once she saw him that Finn was not a morning person, and that surprised her a bit.

Jane smiled. It was nice to see him with Daria nowhere in sight, so she didn't have to be rude to him. The fact that he was wearing only his boxers also made her smile.

"Jane!" Despite Finn's bleary eyes, he reacted very quickly to seeing her react in a casual manner.

"Relax, Daria's in the shower." Jane returned.

"Oh, yeah." Finn yawned a bit, and stretched.

"Sorry."

"Hey, I'm cool." Jane remarked. "Hey, listen, when I was jogging this morning, I ran into your mom."

"Yeah, she speedwalks. What the hell is the point of speedwalking?"

"I mean she knows that we're friends." Jane remarked.

"Oh. Well, I knew that. Mom won't mention it to Daria. They never discuss you other then the fact that you're friends." Finn noted. Jane nodded, but then started to wonder if maybe she should tell Finn about the question his mother had asked her.

"_How can I get Finn to open up to me?" _Jane knew that Finn did not have a very high opinion of his mother. While he never complained about her, the fact that he often came over to Jane's to avoid her spoke volumes. Perhaps they did have trouble communicating.

Jane knew she would not prod into their relationship, but would it be prudent to tell him his mother reflected that. Jane required secrecy from Helen, but the reverse did not hold true.

But ultimately, Jane decided not to press it. Daria made the decision for her by shutting the water off.

"Oh crap, not a whole lot of time, huh?" Finn cracked. Jane didn't say anything.

"Relax. Just follow my lead." Finn smiled. When Daria opened the bathroom door, she saw Jane and Finn arguing about his workout music being too loud. Finn was a convincing actor, but Jane felt miserable inside.

* * *

The entire day passed, and Jane spend most of it with Daria. They went out to Pizza Palace for lunch, and played a mind game on Kevin and Brittany while there. After that, they headed back to the house. Jane briefly thought of stopping by casa Lane to check on Trent, who no doubt would be as aggrieved with the wacky Lanes as she was, but reasoned against it when she saw Courtney, one of Summer's children, running in the front yard.

Summer was probably not present, but Courtney was a hellion in her own right, and if she was there, it probably meant Adrian, another of the brats, wasn't far behind. There would be no chance of stopping there anytime soon.

"_Perhaps a nuclear weapon is necessary. Or with my luck, they'll feed on it and create more siblings." _Jane thought as the two of them walked back home.

Jane offered to set the table for dinner. She called it "upkeep" to Mrs. Morgendorffer, but in truth, the family had very thick napkins, which made them perfect for shaping into birds like origami.

"Thanks so much, Jane!" Mr. Morgendorffer noted. "And I must say, it must be hard being thrown out of your family home."

"Well, I wasn't really thrown..." Jane started to talk, but Mr. Morgendorffer was no longer listening to her. He was starting to rant, as both Daria and Finn had remarked to her. She quickly distracted him.

"Say, uhh...Jane, you're, uhhh...close to Daria and all..." Mr. Morgendorffer started.

"Three questions, no betrayals, only one of your children per question."

"Huh?" He stated. Jane quickly pieced it together and reasoned he didn't know that Finn and Jane were friends. She didn't press it.

"Just ask."

"Height?" He asked. Jane's eyes widened. Did he truly not know?

"Daria's 5'2", Finn's six feet." Jane remarked that such a harmless observation would not go undetected, certainly not by the Morgendorffer patriarch.

"Great! Ummm...shoe size?"

"Six and a half for Daria, twelve is Finn."

"Let's see...ummm..."

"Daria's seventeen, one hundred ten pounds, her favorite color is black, favorite food is pizza, ice cream flavor is chocolate, and drinks her coffee black. Finn is fifteen, one hundred-eighty-five pounds, his favorite color is green, ice cream flavor is pistachio, and he doesn't drink coffee." Jane remarked.

"Thanks! Uhhh...did I use all my questions?" The man asked. Jane chuckled inwardly. No wonder Finn thought so much of his father. Even Daria had nothing bad to say about him.

* * *

At dinner, Jane found herself somewhat eager to wonder how a supposedly normal family ate dinner together. When she noticed Daria bringing a book with her to the table, however, she found they were pretty much as silent as eating by herself. Finn was engrossed in a magazine, that, according to the date on the cover, was months old, while Mr. Morgendorffer had a newspaper.

"Think I could scam a section of that?" She asked the man.

"Why does Otto wear the uniform like Sarge does?" Mr. Morgendorffer ignored her.

"So, it seems like everyone else is engrossed, Jane." Mrs. Morgendorffer started to engage. Seeing danger, Jane immediately snatched Finn's magazine from his loose grip.

"Hey!" Finn called.

"Wow, I wish my thighs looked like that." Jane remarked.

"Tell me about it." Helen sighed. "So, Finn, you appear to be..." Mrs. Morgendorffer turned her gaze to her son, who immediately grabbed the first thing he could find to read: the milk carton.

"I love these!" Finn commented. Helen sighed again.

The doorbell rang a second later, and Daria excused herself to answer it. When she returned, Finn noticed that she was accompanied by Trent.

Finn wondered if Trent, who could not understand subtlety in the slightest, would, accidentally or no, sell out his secret relationship. Finn resolved to keep his mouth shut.

"Trent!" Jane stated in amazement. Luckily for them both, Trent would be here for her, not Finn.

"I just wanted to let you know that Courtney and Adrian stopped by." Trent remarked.

"With or without Summer?" Jane asked. Trent did not respond, and Jane knew she didn't need to ask that question anyway.

"Since they're staying in the tent, I figure I might as well crash in the Tank."

"The Tank!" Finn exclaimed. He knew that van, and it was not an environment suitable for human life.

Then he noticed Daria's widened eyes.

"How do you know about The Tank?" She asked.

"Don't be stupid, Daria. It's a tank, what else would it be! That's kind of cool, to live in a real tank."

"Finn, it's not a real tank." Jane expertly covered. "You could've called."

"With Penny and Wind, I couldn't get a moment. Hey, you got any cash? I figure I should eat something today. Figure you won't need to eat out when you got good stuff like this in front of you."

"Trent, my man, you can stay for dinner if you like." Jake eagerly invited.

"Hey, cool!" Trent thanked the man genuinely. Finn supposed that Trent, being a musician for this kind of band, would be used to bumming food or a couch off of a fan after a show, and knew how to show appreciation without getting thrown out.

"This probably would be better than eating cold Chinese in the tank." Trent remarked. "And I won't have to be crammed up next to all those instruments."

"Trent, why don't you stay here tonight? You can sleep on the floor in Finn's room." Helen warmly invited. Daria, Finn, and Jane's eyes all widened.

"Thanks, Mrs. M!" Trent smiled.

* * *

After the most awkward dinner in the universe, Finn retreated upstairs to his room. He had a date tonight, just a simple movie and coffee, and he had to make sure he looked good for it. Not long after he got started, Trent came up into his room.

"Hey, man." Trent replied.

"Yo." Finn noted.

"You got a lot of posters on your walls." Trent replied.

"Yeah, athletes, role models." Finn remarked.

"You gotta date tonight?"

"Yep."

"So do I."

"Nice. What's her name?"

"Monique. She's in the Harpies."

"I've never heard of that."

"You never go to the shows." Trent remarked. "You should, sometime."

"Well, with Daria...well, it's a complicated situation." Finn remarked. "Uhhh...Trent, did Penny's bird crap in your hair?"

"Huh?"

"Look in the mirror." Finn offered. Trent stood in front of it. Sure enough, there was a small white splotch on the top of his head.

"Aw, damn!" Trent cursed. "Hey, dude, can I borrow..."

"A towel?' Help yourself." Finn eagerly gave him one.

"Can I use the..."

"Go ahead."

"Wow, you guys are so nice." Trent slaggered off towards the bathroom. After he left, Finn returned to the mirror, and decided that he wasn't liking the way his outfit matched up.

"_What is wrong with my color sense today?" _He thought. Then he smiled, why not ask Jane? She would know color well, being an artist.

"_Plus, you've been wanting to hang out with her since she got here. If it wasn't for Daria..." _Finn thought bitterly before donning a T-shirt and pants and going down to Daria's open door. The two girls appeared to be engrossed in a game of Scrabble.

"Hey, Jane, you know those art paint things, right?" Finn asked.

"It's just paint, not a thing." Jane remarked.

"So, if someone had, say, skin tone just like mine, what would compliment a pair of navy blue pants well?" Finn cocked an eyebrow. Jane smiled.

"I'd have to see..."

"Alright!" Finn grabbed her by the arm and dragged her off.

"Leave my Q alone, dammit." Jane instructed Daria before the two ran off to Finn's room.

* * *

"Finn, you're going to get us so busted." Jane remarked.

"Not really. I do need to pick out a good outfit." Finn remarked before pulling his T-shirt off. It was too hot for layers.

"Well, if those were the pants, I'd say go for dark green. That's your favorite color."

"You know me way to well." Finn smiled as he went into his closet.

* * *

Daria sat in her room, waiting for Jane, seething silently that Finn would drag her off for, of all things, color advice for his wardrobe.

This was taking far too long for them to choose an outfit, and, with Trent off in the shower, Jane would have no reason to stick around any longer than necessary in that little slice of Hell. Picking herself off the floor, Daria crept down to Finn's room, and peeked in through the doorway.

She couldn't see anything from her vantage point, but she could hear the two of them talking.

"You like to date, don't you?" Daria heard Jane ask.

"Well, it's something to do. Movies are boring by yourself." Finn replied.

"Yeah, I hear that." Jane agreed. Daria pushed the door a little further, and could see Finn near his closet.

"You know, it's really cool to have your commentary on things." Finn remarked. Daria nearly broke the door down as he emerged, shirtless, from his closet.

"_When you speak to my friend, you bastard, you keep your clothes on!" _Daria seethed. What was his plan? Try to get Jane to spill juicy secrets about his sister? Inspire lust so he could get the worthy gift of her art? Or was this just another plot to take something of hers away from her? As if Jane was the last popsicle in the freezer.

"Hey, that's what friends are for." Jane remarked. Daria's eyes widened even further. And it was working! It couldn't be. While Jane always had an eye for male beauty, she couldn't be that foolish, could she? She had heard what she said about Finn before.

"You know." Jane commented. "I really like that shirt you have, but not with those pants. You need lighter ones." Finn looked down at the shirt in his hands, and held it against his legs.

"Yeah. Damn, I knew I was right in asking you." Finn threw the shirt out of Daria's line of sight towards his bed. And then, to her horror, Daria watched as Finn's hands went to his zipper. He unzipped, then pulled his pants down to his ankles.

Daria pushed the door open a little further, then adjusted her angle to see if she could see Jane. There she was, on the bed, clearly liking what she saw.

"Take your time." She said in a teasing manner.

"You women." Daria heard Finn dismiss. "Why does everything always have to be about my butt?"

"That's only when you're not wearing pants."

"Hey, it's weird, come on."

"Oh, come on." Jane continued to tease. "It's not like I haven't seen you in your boxers before."

And that was enough. Daria pushed open the door into her brother's room.

"What the hell is going on!"

* * *

"Daria!" Both Finn and Jane cried out the intruder's name.

"What the hell are you doing?" Daria accused her brother.

"I'm getting changed for a date. Jeez, I would think that would be obvious."

"With Jane in the room?" Daria delivered.

"She was giving me color schematics."

"And you couldn't wait until she left the room to take your pants off? Gee, this doesn't have the word "seduce" written all over it."

"Hey, Daria, relax. Nothing happened." Jane returned.

"You don't need to defend him, Jane." Daria returned.

"I'm not defending him, I'm not held here against my will." Jane faced her friend.

"Come on, Jane, I'll just..."

"Daria, we weren't finished." Jane remarked. Daria's eyes widened in astonishment.

"Jane, you're being used. You're being seduced, and soon he'll sink his hooks into you, and you'll be...God, I can't even finish it. Come on, you know better than this."

"No, I know that only because you told me." Jane countered. "I did my own damn research and found out your brother is actually a decent person."

"You can't honestly think he gives a damn about you!" Daria countered.

"Hey!" Now Finn was getting in on the fight. "I care about Jane plenty."

"Stay out of this!" Daria ordered. "God damn it, Finn, there's just no satisfying you, is there. Does every girl in Lawndale need to be under your spell?"

"Daria, get over yourself!" Jane interrupted, placing herself between the two yelling siblings. "I like your brother, he's a good guy and not the monster you want to make him out to be."

"How can you be so stupid, Jane? You've seen him in action."

"Yeah, I have. But Finn has never done that to me, not even once. You're wrong about your brother; he's not the person you've told me he his."

"Of course he is. Jane, you've never been around him like I have. He uses people, squeezes everything out of them, and then leaves them. He's a parasite. I won't let him hurt you like that."

"So is that it?" Jane accused. "Am I just the thing that Finn wouldn't go for? Is that all you see me as?"

"No!" Daria protested. "You're my best friend and I won't let this monster hurt you!"

"There's only one monster in this room, and it's not the male here." Jane stormed off out the door.

"Where are you going?" Finn asked.

"For a walk."

"In your boots?" Finn asked, but there was no answer. Just a slamming door.

* * *

"Nice going." Finn crossed his arms across his chest as he quickly threw on the first clothes he could grab.

"Don't you even start with me!" Daria stated angrily.

"You have some nerve." Finn remarked.

"It just wasn't enough, was it?" Daria accused. "It wasn't enough to be prettier than me, or more popular, or to have all your stupid little girlfriends buy you things, or your football buddies to worship you like the mindless husks they are."

"Hey, bitch, say what you feel like about me, but you leave those guys out of this! You've never met them." Finn aggressively returned.

"You just couldn't leave well enough alone. I couldn't have one friend that you didn't think of stealing."

"I never tried to steal Jane from you." Finn returned. "We kept the relationship a secret because you would freak out, and by the looks of it, we were right."

"You bastard!" Daria cursed. "Like you'd ever consider someone else's feelings."

"You know, I used to always wonder why you couldn't have even one friend." Finn snuck in his own accusation. "And now, I know. God, Daria, you don't care about anyone, do you? For all that crap you give me about it, people are just possessions to you."

"I am not like you!"

"No, you're not." Finn returned. "I care about others. Look around you. You've had one friend your whole life, and now you're losing her because you can't bear the idea that she can have a friend other than you. Now, get out!" Daria left the room per the instructions, and it was a good thing she did. Finn was so furious with her he was willing to forget the fact that she was a girl. In all his time around Daria, despite her pranks and cruel behavior, he had never struck her. But he felt like he was about to do that now.

* * *

Jane did not go for a walk like she had advertised. Instead, she leaned against the wall of the Morgendorffer house. She was angry and frustrated, angry at her supposed best friend. In truth, Daria was her best friend, and Finn was always just a friend; that gave Jane no pause. But now, Jane had to question everything about their friendship.

It was true that, even before Daria, Jane would know better than to get suckered in by someone like Finn like those other stupid girls at school. But there was another man behind the sleazy con artist, and even that sleazy con artist was disappearing, changing into a still-rather-vain, but kind and considerate, young man.

"_And Daria thinks he's a demon." _Jane thought. Jane knew that Daria made her smile like no other. They had fun together. Daria had no pretenses, and Jane could just hang around her and be herself, not that she'd want to be any other person, and the world just didn't feel as harsh, when there was someone else around.

But now her two friends were feuding, and Jane was concerned at the idea of having to choose between the two of them. She didn't want to. If she chose Daria, she'd have to write off Finn, and if she chose Finn, Daria would never speak to her again.

The decision seemed easy in her head, but it made Jane really sad. She sniffed, and tried not to sob. She managed to compose herself quickly after letting out a few.

And upstairs, looking down from the bathroom window, Trent saw his little sister cry for the first time in ages.

* * *

Daria seethed as she went back into her room. She had no idea where Jane was, but she would return soon enough. She was not the type to leave things unfinished, and her easel was still here.

"_How could she be so stupid." _Daria thought. Wasn't she paying attention when she was told of Finn? How could they, possibly, be friends. Finn cared nothing for other people, only their wallets.

She saw her door push open, and thought maybe Jane had returned. But Trent, toweling his wet hair, was the culprit.

"Hey, Daria." His voice was flat as always, and Daria wondered if he had heard anything from the shower.

"Hey, Trent." Daria calmed herself down by speaking to him.

"You seen Janey?"

"She said she was going for a walk."

"At night?" Trent wondered. Daria didn't reply. Trent sat on the bed.

"That was some fight I heard."

"Oh." Daria was surprised.

"You and your brother don't get along, do you?"

"You try getting along with a manipulative sociopath."

"A who?"

"Finn's a greedy little bastard who thinks of other people only as tools."

"Huh. I've seen him around the house a few times."

"No one had the decency to tell me." Daria remarked. It didn't surprise her that Trent knew about the relationship and didn't tell her about it: Jane was remarkably good as shushing her brother, and Trent was rarely conscious to speak to when Daria was around.

"You're worried about nothing." Trent stated.

"Huh?"

"I've seen him around Janey. He makes her happy."

"That's part of his plan." Daria noted. She knew how Finn worked.

"Plan?"

"Finn makes people smile, then he gets them to buy him breakfast, or something he was browsing at in a store."

"Janey's never done that." Trent remarked. "It's kinda normal. She paints and he watches. She asks him something, he answers. It's kinda like you."

"Finn and I are not the same!" Daria protested.

"Whoa, issues." Trent commented. Daria was about to protest, but she held her tongue. Trent had a way of telling her things that crept up on her, things she wouldn't normally consider if someone else had said them.

"Finn and Janey are friends."

"Finn's just trying to get her away from me." Daria stated resolutely.

"Why?"

"Because I can never have something he has."

"So then, why was he keeping it a secret from you?" Trent asked. Daria paused again. That didn't make sense. If Finn was trying to steal her, he'd make his attempts more obvious.

"Your brother's all right." Trent stated, almost definitively. Daria couldn't bring herself to believe that. She knew Finn, better than Jane and Trent put together. He couldn't possibly be anything other than a monster.

"_But...even I know that's not true anymore." _Daria admitted to herself sadly. She brought her knees to her chest. Finn was not the same guy he was when high school started. And she knew this; she was part of the reason why. She made sure to chime in at the right time to encourage the proper aspects.

"_Was...it was because I wanted Jane all to myself. I didn't want to lose the first friend I ever had." _Daria sniffed. Now she felt awful. It may very well have been that Jane's influence curbed Finn's monstrous qualities.

"Hey, Trent..." Daria called over to him. Trent, however, looked around the room.

"This is a really warm room." He commented. And without another word, he lay down on the floor and fell asleep.

* * *

After dinner, Helen had gone outside to fix a mistake Jake had made while setting the alarm system. While she was outside, Eric had called her on her cellular. The weather was balmy, but pleasant, and rather than go inside, Helen simply paced around the porch while Eric spoke to her.

However, Helen had to put Eric on hold for a minute when she saw Jane storm out the front door and make her way to the back yard. The girl looked equal parts angry and hurt, and Helen was willing to bet she knew what happened: Daria found out that she and Finn were friends.

"_Honestly, I don't see the problem." _Helen thought. While Finn was quite the seductive creature, Helen never saw any packages of any kind from Jane, so he simply did not pull his tactics on her.

"_Perhaps you'll get the idea that a woman is more than just a purse, Finn." _Helen thought to herself. Still chatting pleasantly with Eric, she walked into the house. She found Finn lying on the couch, watching TV.

"_Where'd Jake go? Wasn't he sleeping on the couch?" _Helen wondered. But then she reasoned that Daria and Finn would have been arguing, and the sounds of such a bedlam would drive Jake to the attic or garage, somewhere to wait out the storm.

"Finn?" Helen told Eric to hold on for a second while she addressed her son.

"Yes?" He replied in his angry tone.

"Did something happen earlier today?"

"Nothing you'd be interested in."

"Finn, you and your sister were arguing, weren't you?" Helen noted. Finn did not reply, he simply kept his gaze on the TV, showing that show about that girl who killed vampires, whatever her name was. Biffy, Buffy, whatever.

Helen shut the TV off.

"Finn, what happened?"

"Daria had a freaking heart attack. Go ahead and yell at her. I didn't do anything." Helen bit her tongue at the thought of her protest: That arguments were never one-sided. But it would not serve it's purpose.

"Where is Daria?"

"Up in her room, I guess."

"Is she with Jane?" Helen tried to engage her son, seeing if maybe he'd open up about his own feelings regarding the situation.

"No. I saw Trent go into her room though."

"Oh, that's lovely." Helen remarked. Then, the words sank in.

"You mean to say that Daria...is upstairs in her room...alone...with a man in his early twenties? Finn, when did he do that?"

"I saw him go in when _Buffy _started. So, I dunno, they've been there for a good twenty minutes. At least. Don't know where I am since you..." Finn started to talk. Helen immediately handed Finn her cell phone.

"Talk to your aunt!" She instructed.

"Mom, you were talking to..." Finn started, but Helen had already bolted up the stairs. Finn sighed before going back to the cell phone.

"Hello!" He stated into the phone. "No, this is Finn, her son. Eric, it's kinda late for...Huh? Sue the Red Cross? Aren't they a charity? Really? Well, still, the word non-profit sends some pretty strong...oh, wow, that is a lot of money per class. And they have to take it every year?" Finn picked up the phone and moved into the kitchen.

* * *

Helen bounded up the stairs towards her daughter's room. She breathed a slight sigh of relief when she saw the door partially open, and even more when she noticed Daria, fully dressed, sitting on her bed. Trent was in the room, but he was also fully dressed, and dozing off on the floor.

"Daria?" Helen asked.

"Oh, hi, Mom."

"Where's Jane?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"Probably off with Finn." Daria commented sourly.

"Finn's downstairs watching that vampire girl on TV. Jane's not with him."

"Oh." Daria sighed, and laid down on the bed. "Then I don't know where she is."

"Isn't she your guest?" Helen prodded. She may not have known how to get Finn to open up, but she did with Daria.

"I don't even know that. She and Finn are close."

"I already knew that." Helen replied.

"You did!" Daria bolted up.

"It was spring last year."

"That was...that was when Jane joined track." Daria realized.

"So that's who he was training." Helen remarked.

"He was training her?"

"Wouldn't that be a person to ask?"

"I...suppose." Daria grimly admitted. "Still, to keep that a secret..."

"Daria, have you ever really asked yourself what the problem is with this?" Helen asked.

"Easy. Finn's a jerk, and he's going to make her miserable."

"Daria." Helen glared at her. "What a thing to say."

"It's true."

"No, it isn't. If she was miserable, why wouldn't she have come to you to get rid of him?" Helen pointed out. Daria didn't answer, she had none to give.

"Mom, you know how Finn is."

"And I know how you are." Helen countered. "You're letting your anger at Finn get in the way of your better judgment."

Daria opened her mouth for a quick protest, but stopped. Helen knew that Daria wouldn't be able to reply to this. As smart as she was, she was still a young woman, and her emotions got in the way of her sense sometimes, as it did with all people.

"Daria, being around Finn makes Jane happy." Helen noted.

"I wouldn't know."

"Use your head." Helen instructed. "You know Jane better than I do. Would she continue to hang around someone that made her miserable?"

"Depends. What would Finn be wearing?"

"Huh?"

"Well, I guess Jane's not that stupid." Daria admitted.

"So what is the problem? Finn and Jane are friends and they make each other happy. What does it have to do with you?"

"It's Finn we're talking about. He's trying to..." Daria started to say something else, but she stopped. Helen thought she knew the reason. She realized for herself that something wasn't the case.

"Ah, hell."

"Daria, I realize that you and your brother have disagreements. But everything your brother does is not just to mess with you. He's his own person. I know you were trying to protect Jane, but she doesn't need it. She can be friends with the both of you, it's not a contest."

"But that's just weird." Daria commented. "To be friends with people who hate each other."

"Not as weird as you'd think. You'll understand that when you get a career. But why do you have to hate Finn? He is your brother."

"Don't you hate Aunt Rita?"

"That's...complicated." Helen remarked. "Anyway, why do you have to hate him? Jane likes him, and she's got a decent head on her shoulders, doesn't she?"

"Mom, this is Finn we're talking about."

"Daria, I've known the two of you your whole lives." Helen remarked. "And I know well enough to know what happened between you two was not a one-way street. You were quite the terror to him, too."

"He deserved it."

"And you didn't?" Helen remarked. "If you're going to play that game and wonder if Finn deserved every bad thing you gave him, ask yourself if he had the right to retaliate. It will get you nowhere, Daria, I'll tell you that right now." There was silence between the two of them.

"Ask yourself, something, Daria. Does your friendship with Jane mean more to you than your hatred of Finn?" Helen posed. Daria was silent.

"If you'd rather hate Finn, then let the two of them be friends." Helen remarked. "It clearly doesn't mean anything to you. But if you'd rather be friends with Jane, then you need to learn to accept their friendship."

"_And maybe when you realize the world doesn't have to hate him just because you do, maybe you two will stop doing that too." _Helen kept the final part of her logic to herself.

"I...gotta go find Jane."

"She'll be back here soon enough." Helen replied. Daria picked up the cluttered remains of her game of Scrabble and headed out the door. Once she was alone, Helen smiled at the snoring Trent, and wondered if he was the one who calmed her down: Daria would certainly not be able to reason with her mother if the fight had just happened.

But Trent continued to sleep as if nothing ever happened at all.

* * *

Jane realized she would have to go back inside the house soon enough. She didn't like the idea of sleeping outside. She went back into the Morgendorffer household, and the house was quiet. No one was in the living room. When Jane looked in the window earlier, she had seen Finn watching _Buffy the Vampire Slayer,_ but he appeared to have left now.

Feeling parched, Jane decided to go get a soda. When she entered the kitchen, she saw Daria sitting there. Jane tried to ignore her.

"Hey." Daria acknowledged.

"Yo." Jane replied flatly.

"I thought about you and Finn." Daria replied.

"I figured you would. So, what now?" Jane asked.

"It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. How people can be friends with him, how girls can be friends with him."

"It's the same reason why Jodie and Brittany are friends, even though they're nothing alike."

"I wasn't trying to hurt you, it's just..."

"You knew Finn all your life for the colossal ass that he is. Something like that?" Jane remarked.

"Listen, if you want to be his friend, fine. I'll just get used to getting pizza by myself."

"Daria, it doesn't have to be that way. I was friends with you both before."

"So, you don't hate me?"

"No." Jane admitted, almost bitterly.

"You...were right. I was just worried about you."

"Daria, we're just friends. Yeah, your brother is hot, and I like being around him, but that's it. It's never...gone further."

"That's what Trent said."

"I thought he had a date with Monique. She must be late."

"With those two?" Daria sniped. Both girls laughed.

"So, we just stay as we were, except for the whole secret thing?"

"Yeah. So we're still friends?"

"Yeah."

"And you and Finn?"

"Still friends. I'll have to talk to him about it. You know, Daria, I meant what I said. Your brother is not a bad guy."

"I think I'm starting to get that." Daria spoke words Jane never thought she'd hear her say.

* * *

After Helen spoke to Daria, she reasoned she'd have to do the same thing with Finn. He was clearly angry when he was watching TV. She wanted to help Finn get over his sister. After all, if Daria merely stopped, the diffusion would not work properly unless it was both ways.

She found Finn in his room, pacing back and forth, with her cellular.

"_What? You've been talking to Eric this whole time?" _Helen was aghast.

"I'm just saying, Eric, that you're in your forties now. Things are different for men at that age. That's no reason to be embarrassed about taking your shirt off at the pool. What? No, Eric, that's what geeks do." Finn chatted into the phone, then he noticed his mother in the doorway.

"Take. Him. Now." Finn cupped his hand over the phone and handed it to his mother.

"Eric, I'm going to have to call you back. I'm running out of battery on this phone." Helen said into the receiver before hanging up.

"Wow, I wish I thought of that." Finn remarked.

"Finn, I talked with Daria."

"Good." Finn replied. "Hope it worked."

"Finn, are you..." Helen started, but there was a knock at his door. Jane was standing in the doorway.

"Jane!" Finn immediately ignored Helen and went to her.

"Ummm..." She looked towards Helen.

"Mom, I think we need to talk." Finn indicated himself and Jane. Helen saw the determination in her son's eyes, and knew there was no way she could win. She silently sighed and left the room.

* * *

"So, I think I finally got Daria to understand." Jane noted once she and Finn were alone.

"Well, that's great. I mean, no need to be secretive." Finn replied.

"You seem disappointed."

"I"m not. Just surprised."

"Don't lie." Jane commented.

"I'm really surprised." Finn returned. "In all the time I've known Daria, I've never known her to give an inch. Not without some elaborate plot in the works."

"Finn, do I have to tell you the same thing?"

"Hey, I was okay with you two being friends." Finn replied.

"That isn't what I meant." Jane noted. "I mean that Daria is not the monster you think she is."

"You...you don't understand." Finn started to protest.

"Seriously. I get along with her."

"The first person to." Finn commented.

"Finn." Jane's voice lowered. "Look, I just spend all night upset that I'd have to choose between the two of you, and now when I think the end is in sight, you slam it shut. Your sister is not a monster. You know that, just as she knew you weren't one."

"I..." Finn paused.

"You know it." Jane chimed in. Finn paused.

"Yeah." Finn admitted, almost as bitterly as Daria.

"What the hell is your story?" Jane asked. "I can get Daria, but you I don't understand. You'd never care what some brain would say about you."

"Didn't I answer this."

"You just said she didn't do it to you." Jane commented. Finn's hands started to ball into fists.

"Dad..." Finn commented softly, but Jane heard him. She bit her tongue, for she didn't know Mr. Morgendorffer well enough to comment. The relationship between Daria and her father was the same as the one with her mother, but Finn's opinions of his parents were completely different from each other.

* * *

There was one other person who heard the word "Dad" escape Finn's lips. Eavesdropping outside the doorway, Helen racked her mind. Was this the break she was looking for? What did Daria ever do to Jake to hurt Finn so badly?

She didn't know, but she resolved to not call back Eric tonight and figure this out.


	22. Daddy

Finn was walking down the road to the school., followed by his buddies. He had hoped to walk to school with Jane, as she came up with some of her best dry humor. While Jamie's and Jeffy's jokes were funny, they were not on par with Jane.

But Daria, even though she still knew about it, was still weird about the whole thing. If Jane came over to see Finn, Daria might sneak out of the house. And she never dropped by Jane's when she knew Finn was there.

"_Just as well." _Finn thought. He had absolutely no desire to hang out with Daria; Jane or no. He probably would have done it this way himself.

"Hey, what's that?" Joey was always pretty quiet on the walk into the school, pointed when he saw a large van, which would have never fit in the small parking spaces. Finn squinted in order to make out the name on the side.

"Bing and the Spatula...dude, it's those DJ's on Z-93!" Finn exclaimed excitedly. Although Finn rarely listened to the radio, as he did not yet have his license, whenever he drove with Joey or Jeffy, that was the station that was on. It was one of the few things that made mornings bearable.

"Dude!" The rest of the guys were ecstatic, and the group quickly ran up towards the DJ's.

"Gooood morning, Lawndale!" A heavyset man, the Spatula Man, if Finn remembered which was which, addressed the gathering throng of Lawndale students, who cheered enthusiastically in response.

"How did Ms. Li get these guys here?" Jamie wondered.

"Bribes and coercion. You know, the usual tactics." Finn cracked. None of his friends found it funny.

"_Dammit. Jane would have cracked a smile." _Finn moaned.

"Oh, hello, students!" Ms. Li, wading her way through the crowd. She made her way to the four varsity football players.

"Good morning, Ms. Li." Jeffy addressed.

"Z-93 makes me mental in the morning!" Joey cheered his excitement.

"Well, I'm certainly glad you students enjoy the stunt we're pulling. They'll be broadcasting all week from Lawndale High!"

"Wow, you didn't have to do that!" Jamie noted to the principal.

"Oh, think nothing of it, Mister White." Ms. Li addressed politely. "Student morale is pivotal to Lawndale High. It is it's own regard."

"That means she wants us to call the Asian-American Business Women's Caucus. They're doing nominations again for their luncheon. I hear the competition is stiff this year." Finn commented dryly.

"Mister Morgendorffer." Ms. Li's tone changed slightly. "This is a statement to the entire community to show that Lawndale High is not just a high school, but a high school that enriches our students in mind, body, and spirit!" Ms. Li wrapped her arms around her body at the final part of her statement. All four football players looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

"So, you don't want us to call the caucus thing?" Jeffy asked.

"Oh, Mister Mercer, that's not necessary. This was done for the good of all of our Lawndale High students. However, if you want to file a recommendation, ask the front office for the form letter. Get it in before fourth period so they can type everything properly." And with that, Ms. Li started back into the crowd of students, assuredly making it own to the other clubs and groups that she was the one responsible for this.

"Well, I guess we have something to fill out in home room." Joey replied.

"Why, Mister Nelson." Finn impersonated Ms. Li's voice. "You truly are a testament to Lawndale High to accredit me like t his." Now the guys started to laugh.

"_Still not as funny as Jane." _Finn sighed only inwardly as the group headed towards the front office.

* * *

Today was Taco Night at the Morgendorffer residence, and both Jake and Finn enjoyed it very much. Building tacos was actually kind of fun, since it made eating the taco that much more rewarding. But also, because Helen Morgendorffer would spend most of the night talking to Eric on the phone. Finn supposed she must have had some kind of rule about food that didn't require utensils to eat.

"You know what might make these tacos better? Bacon!" Finn remarked as he assembled his first taco.

"And ranch sauce! Yeah!" Jake eagerly chimed in as he slathered more ground beef inside his taco.

"The doctor told you about too much ground beef!" Helen lectured briefly. "What!" She immediately returned back to the phone.

"No, Eric, I was talking to my husband. Now, about that four-point strategy..." Helen walked towards the fridge.

"Hey, Finn, do we have ranch in the fridge?" Jake asked as he carefully put guacamole in his taco.

"_I don't know how you can eat that stuff. The guacamole, I mean. Ranch...sounds fantastic." _Finn thought as he stood up to look for some.

"Yum, this guacamole is fantastic! Poor Helen's gonna miss out!" Jake stated.

"Jake, you need to watch what you eat!" Helen exclaimed. "Your taco is so covered in meat and cheese! The doctor told you about vegetables." And with that, Helen moved into the living room to continue her conversation with Eric.

"Vegetables, vegetables!" Jake started to rant as his face started to flush. Sweat pored from his face. "Dammit, Helen, vegetables are the crap part of any good taco, and everyone knows it. Guacamole is the only passable one. Are avocados fruits or...Huh, it's so strange. My mouth tastes funny."

"Dad?" Daria asked. Finn returned to the table holding the bottle of ranch dressing.

"We don't have a lot left, Dad." Finn commented. "Maybe enough for...hey, you all right?"

"My..." Jake started to sweat a little more. His voice trailed off into a whisper, and his face flushed even more. The house was not warm at all.

"Dad!" Finn stated with a much greater concern.

"Think I could..." Jake seemed to move his arm towards the guacamole, but his arm brushed the bowl and knocked it to the floor. A second later, Jake's head hit the table.

"Dad!" Both Daria and Finn called out his name a second time as Helen started to enter the kitchen.

"Oh my God!" Helen dropped the phone and immediately moved over towards her husband. Finn might have marveled at the speed in which she so casually brushed off Eric if his t houghts were of anything other than his father.

Daria left the tableau to call the ambulance.

"_CPR, CPR, how the hell do you do CPR again? Was it ten presses to two breaths, or fifteen to five?" _Finn's mind raced with panic. He tried his best to stop it.

Helen, however, seemed to remember it. She quickly performed it. Seeing the maneuver performed actually helped Finn calm down, and the two of them switched until the paramedics got there. Finn wanted to ride in the ambulance with his father, but the paramedics insisted no guests could come.

Helen grabbed her keys and purse quickly so that the family could follow. Neither Daria nor Finn needed to grab coats or put their shoes on, so the family was ready to go nearly immediately. But as Helen drove towards the hospital, she looked in the rear view mirror at her children. Both children were silent, and the color had drained from both of their faces. Neither Daria's cynicism nor Finn's cheerful demeanor could stand up to this. Helen saw the looks in her faces, and knew that, for perhaps the first time, both of her children were deathly and truly afraid.

And then, the other Morgendorffer elder's heart faltered.

* * *

Although none of the Morgendorffers were very calm in the hospital, Finn looked the most agitated. He paced back and forth warily, his head twitches at every sound.

"Finn, why don't you sit down?" Helen offered. "You'll just get tired."

"Sitting down sucks." Finn moaned. He returned to his pacing. Helen regarded her two children. To have a loved one have a heart attack was bad enough: Helen's own father passed away from that over ten years ago, and Helen could still recall the dread she felt when she got the news. There had been no news as of yet, and Helen feared the worst.

"_Please pull through, Jake." _Helen commanded. "_We all need you so much." _Daria was vacant, although there was a genuine concern in her eyes that was not there often. Not much emotion ever registered in Daria's eyes, and when it was, it was usually annoyance or anger.

But it was Finn Helen could not take her eyes off of. She knew how much he worshiped Jake, and did everything he wanted.

"_He's the only person Finn would do that for." _Helen admitted to herself sadly. Finn's face was so worried and heartbreaking, it was only making the situation worse. His entire body was pale, and it shook frequently whenever he stopped pacing. His fists were clenched tightly, the only part of his flesh that had any color to it. And red drops fell to the floor from them.

"Finn, come here." Helen instructed. He came over.

"Open your hands." She furthered. Finn followed suit. Four crescent-shaped open wounds were splayed on his palms. Finn had clenched his fists so tight he was drawing blood.

"Finn, you're bleeding!" Helen exclaimed.

"I'm fine, don't touch it." Finn scoffed.

"We need to treat that." Helen turned away to find a doctor or nurse, but Finn grabbed her wrist.

"There are more important things here than me." He growled. "Don't take them away from Dad." Helen knew, of course, that not every doctor was here to treat Jake. Helen only had the basest of medical knowledge, but if she recalled, it was two surgeons, an anaesthesiologist, and a perioperative to handle the tools. And that's only if they were doing surgery.

But she let Finn believe what he wanted. She hadn't the effort to fight him.

* * *

The doctor emerged from the emergency ward to the waiting room. Helen knew the woman emerging: Helen filled out all of Jake's paperwork for her, so this woman knew Helen, and would only come to her with news.

"Your husband is stable, and the test results are still pending, but, it looks to be a very mild heart attack."

"No!" Helen gasped, even though she reasoned that this was the case. A heart attack killed his father young, and those were genetic.

"Oh, God!" Finn wailed, and Helen nearly felt her legs give out. It was the saddest thing she had ever heard in a long time.

"Mild." The doctor stressed, not that it soothed mother or son. Daria, who appeared to be keeping a tough facade as best as she could, spoke to the doctor.

"Was there much damage?" The girl posed. Helen reasoned it was a suitable question, and silently thanked her daughter for bringing her back to her senses.

"Doubtful." The woman replied, and Helen breathed a sigh of relief. "But with diet, exercise, and attitude changes, he should be just fine."

Finn did not look relieved, but he didn't say anything.

"Is Dad conscious?" Daria asked.

"He is. The doctors have cleared out, and I'm sure he'd love to see you." The woman eagerly invited. She then stopped when she noticed Finn's hand.

"We'll have to treat those. Standard procedure."

"I'm fine!" Finn protested. "Don't you have more important things to do?"

"Finn, your father is fine." Helen tried to reassure

"He's had a heart attack, Mom. Of course he isn't fine!" Finn protested.

"A mild heart attack." The woman took charge. "And I know you want to see him, boy, but you can't have an open wound like that just walking around the ward."

"Whatever, fine. Do what you want, just hurry up." Finn thrust his bloody palms towards her. The woman was not fazed by his brash nature, and quickly treated his injury, then wrapped his palm in gauze. Finn did not wince like he normally did when he was injured. Once Finn was taken care of, the woman led the family to the ward. Finn eagerly pushed in the door once the woman pointed it out, and Daria followed.

"I am sorry about him." Helen noted to the woman once Finn was out of sight. "He's just..."

"Teenagers." The woman replied. "Everything's already a big deal to them. A heart attack is already a big deal. Combine them both, hell."

"Thank you for understanding."

"Compared to some of the junkies needing detox, or the recently grieving, he's pretty tame." The woman noted. "I'll come back once the test results are finished." The woman walked away, and Helen entered the room.

* * *

Inside, Daria and Finn were both assembled around the bed. Finn, wisely, kept his hands behind his back so as not to show his father an injury, even a small one.

"Jakey, how are you feeling?" Helen asked. There was no reply, from Jake or from Finn, whom Helen expected a sarcastic tone.

"Dad?" Finn started. "Are you okay?"

"I'm..." Jake started to return to his son, but then the electrocardiogram started to beep. Jake nearly jumped out of his bed in fright.

"It's just the EKG, Dad." Daria reassured. Jake did not look relaxed, but tried to settle back into the bed, only for the intercom to call a code blue to the ER.

"Agh!" Jake screamed in response to the loud noise, and nearly bolted up again. In response, Finn reached over, grabbed his father's shoulders, and forced him back down into the bed.

"Oh my gosh, Finn, your hands!" Jake screamed in response to Finn's bandaged hands.

"They're sweat bands. I guess I was holding on to them." Finn casually launched perhaps the worst lie he had ever told in his life to his father.

"_And Jake would believe it." _Helen thought. Jake did not get up from the bed, and Finn slowly withdrew his hands.

"Was I supposed to do that?" Finn asked no one in particular. Jake finally seemed to settle back down.

"It's so nice to see all of you..." Jake started, before the TV in the room flipped on to _Sick, Sad World. _No one had the remote, so Jake must have accidentally moved his butt to sit on static sound of the older TV flipping on, and the loud announcer's voice, caused the man to pale again.

"Mommy!" Jake's voice jumped at least an octave as he made his meek plea. "Where's my mommy?"

* * *

Daria went over to Jane's house, and told the artist the whole story, when the family got back from the hospital. Jake was staying overnight for observation. While Finn asked to remain, Helen refused, as it was a school night. Finn shot her an extremely angry look, but ultimately piled back into the car.

Jane had said nothing the entire time Daria told the story, but she did not do anything, not even paint. She didn't resume her activities until Daria had told her, per Jake's wishes, that Grandma Ruth would be coming by to stay with him during his convalescence.

"Your Grandma Ruth?" Jane asked. "Which one is she?"

"The traditional one." Daria replied. "You know, bake cookies for the church group, stay at home ironing pants, that sort of thing."

"How are you doing?" Jane asked seriously.

"Dad's fine as can be expected, I guess I'm grateful." Daria replied.

"No one is that well-adjusted." Jane challenged.

"Look, my dad just had a heart attack, and I'm not in a good mood."

"How's Finn doing?" Jane asked.

"He was in the basement hitting the punching bag non-stop." Daria returned. "It was very loud. He's not doing so well." There was silence from Jane.

"I was expecting you to say something like 'You always look for the upside' or something." Daria returned.

"I have my limits. High ones, but when the father of two of my friends has a heart attack, I can be straight-laced. It's that damn better nature of mine."

"Damn ingrate." Daria teased. It made her feel better to crack that joke, even just a little.

"Anyway, Finn's got his sewing circle of friends. You look like you could use the distraction. Pizza?"

"You honestly think Finn's going to tell them?" Daria returned. "They're guys. They get shot in the stomach and they still won't confess their feelings. It's against the man law."

"Just like how not looking at a woman's large magnificent breasts is an insult to them?"

"I told you he was a bad influence on you."

* * *

The entire family gathered in the living room when Ruth, Jake's mother, finally made her arrival. Finn never talked very much to her: Grandma Ruth was married to Mad Dog Morgendorffer, and, while Finn had never met his grandfather, not even once, but from Jake's rants about the man, Finn had absolutely no desire to.

Part of Finn knew that it was not right to pass judgment about someone he never had the chance of meeting, but whenever he saw his father start to rant about the horrible abuses he suffered, Finn would forget that.

"Hello, Ruth." Helen greeted warmly.

"Hello, Helen, and my little grandchildren." Ruth greeted. "Oh, Helen, you haven't started doing that redecorating yet?"

"Ruth, I finished that over six..." Helen started, but Grandma Ruth ignored her, and concentrated on the children.

"Oh, and there are my two grandchildren. Daria, you...haven't changed one bit." Ruth remarked. "I thought you were going to dye your hair."

"I did dye my hair." Daria remarked, a statement Finn knew was a lie. "I dyed it hot pink, wore black leather, and called myself Corpse Pixie. We have pictures." Finn nearly laughed at what Daria had said. Although the two siblings held very little in common, neither of them were very found of Grandma Ruth.

"You didn't get a tattoo, did you?" Grandma Ruth returned.

"Not in an area that's appropriate to show with men present." Daria continued her joke. Grandma Ruth moved on to Finn.

"And here is my Finn. My, you're such a strapping young man." Ruth complimented.

"Thanks, Grandma." Finn replied politely.

"You're still at that high school?" Grandma Ruth asked.

"Truancy laws still have a hold on him." Daria cracked.

"Well, dear, you really should consider attending Buxton Ridge for the remainder." Grandma Ruth instructed. This was a conversation the two of them had each and every time they spoke to each other. What fascination she had with military school was beyond him: His father did nothing but complain about it, and apparently, the military turned Mad Dog into a complete and total psychopath.

"I'll pass, Grandma." Was Finn's practically patented response.

"Oh dear, it would be good for you!" The old woman replied.

"I'm already a sophomore, Grandma, it would just be a waste." Finn replied before walking away from the woman.

"_And Mom, love the support." _Finn mentally condemned his mother, who was steps away and said nothing.

"Where is my Jakey?" Ruth looked around and asked.

"Mommy!" Jake's meek voice came from upstairs. Ruth went up without another word. Helen sighed before she went into the kitchen. She, like her children, didn't have a high opinion of Grandma Ruth either.

"Daria? Why do our grandmothers have to suck so much?" Finn asked. "Aren't, like, normal grandmothers supposed to be nice, and give candy and all the bad things our parents won't let us do?"

"Finn, which part of our family was normal again?" Daria remarked.

"Oh, right."

* * *

The next day at school, Finn's buddies decided that they wanted to chat with Bing and the Spatula Man, trying to see if they could possibly get to speak on the air. Finn couldn't join them in their fun, much as he wanted to. All he could think about was his father. While he read the paperwork that Helen brought back from the doctor's office, even though most of it made no sense to him, he didn't feel better with that thought that his father would be fine.

"Dad..." Finn sighed.

"Hey, dude, you alright?" Jamie asked. Finn didn't answer.

"Come on, dude." Joey encouraged. "You've been all mopey for days."

"And no dates!" Jeffy added. "You never do that."

"I'm just not in the mood." Finn sighed glumly.

"Alright there, music fans, this is Bing and the Spatula Man, coming to you live from Lawndale High! We're going to find out which of you party people can tell us why Zee-93 makes you mental in the morning!" Bing, bedecked in his rainbow clown wig, made his way over to the football players.

"Well, these young men all seem to be impressive party people. Tell us, boys, who makes you mental in the morning!" Bing passed his microphone over to Finn. The center did not respond.

"Come on, young man. Don't you want to hear your voice on the radio!" Spatula Man offered.

"Get that thing out of my face before I shove it down your throat." Finn replied crudely. Bing was taken aback by this hostility, but pressed on.

"Come on, then, have no..." Bing started, but Finn was in no mood for him. He grabbed Bing's microphone, and, using all the force he could muster, shoved Bing away from him. Finn's large size meant Bing toppled backward into the Spatula Man, where both men fell in a heap. The crowd of students laughed at the comedy.

"Whoa, dude!" Joey noted. But Finn did not reply. Instead, he walked across the parking lot, away from the school.

"Dude, school hasn't even start..." Jeffy called to him, but Finn did not listen, and walked away until he was out of sight.

"Dude, what's with him?" Jamie wondered once the J's assembled in the school.

"He's been so pissy." Jeffy agreed.

"You want to know?" A woman's voice interrupted the men. They all turned around to notice a woman with a bobbed haircut, wearing red and black.

"Wait, I know you." Jamie replied. "You're that girl who Finn knows. The one that did track."

"My name is Jane." The woman replied. "I remember you guys."

"What's wrong with Finn?" Joey asked.

"Not with Finn, but his dad." Jane noted.

"Mr. Morgendorffer?" Joey asked. He knew Mr. Morgendorffer well; the man always cheered for Finn at every game he ever came to.

"What happened to him?" Jeffy asked.

"He had a heart attack." Jane replied bluntly.

"What!" Jamie asked.

"Is he..." Joey started.

"No." Jane interrupted. "But as you can guess, Finn's not happy. I'm surprised he didn't tell you. Guess he didn't want you to worry."

"How'd you find out?" Joey asked.

"Daria. His sister." Jane answered. "He's just upset."

"We should stop by." Jeffy offered.

"If you want to take that risk. I saw what he did to the DJ's. I'm a little jealous he thought of it first." Jane noted. "Just don't tell him I told you."

* * *

Finn had no place to go other than home, but he didn't want to get chewed out for missing school. So he climbed onto the roof and snuck in through his window. Once safely back in his room, he very silently shut the door, then lay down on his bed, not bothering to undress.

"Dad. Dad. Daddy." Finn sobbed as he clutched his pillow tightly. For the longest time, until he had Aunt Rita, Jake Morgendorffer was all Finn had. Daria was just a monster, who did whatever she wanted, and damn everyone else. She was mean to everyone, never tried to be nice, and thought herself better than everyone else.

And the fighting it caused was legendary. Mom and Dad both crusaded to school whenever she had a problem with the teachers, and all they ever talked about was trying to make Daria fit in, how to help Daria. All of it was about Daria. Helen never cared about the other child. At least Dad came to the football games, and to the boxing matches, and first showed the sports to Finn. Mom never did any of that.

Despite all that fighting it caused, Daria never stopped. She didn't care about anyone other than herself. And Mom encouraged that. Daria could quit her job, despite how much she supposedly needed it. Daria could be unpleasant. She could treat people like slime, and Mom never stopped that, despite all the fights it caused. She certainly would waste no time criticizng Finn for his mistakes. He was always the bad one, for many reasons.

And now, all of it was falling apart. If his Dad was gone, he'd be stuck with Helen and Daria. But worse than that, Dad was the only person, besides Aunt Rita, who actually cared for him. As much as Finn loved Rita, Rita was not around like his Dad was.

"Daddy." Finn sobbed again as he realized the cold hard truth about life. His dad had always seemed large in Finn's eye. But it could no longer be the case. Sooner or later, Finn was not going to have his Daddy anymore.

The boy's entire body froze in his bed.

* * *

When day faded into late afternoon, Finn emerged from his room. He didn't feel any better, but he knew he could see his father now. Finn was actually a little scared to do so, but he pushed himself into his parent's bedroom. Jake, pajama-clad, was lying erect in bed, while Grandma Ruth sat beside him. She appeared to be trying to feed him, while Jake was resisting,

"Hi, Dad." Finn smiled, ignoring his grandmother.

"Finn!" Jake exclaimed joyfully.

"Are you feeling better?" Finn asked.

"I don't like oatmeal!" Jake complained.

"Jakey, you need to eat something." Grandma Ruth protested.

"He'll eat when he's hungry." Finn sided with his father.

"Well, I need to get a few things ready for your sponge bath." Grandma Ruth stood up and walked into the bathroom.

"Sponge bath?" Finn asked.

"Oh, my little Finn..." Jake started. Finn sat down on the bed. "I may not be long for this world."

"Dad, don't talk like that, it's...ummm...bad luck." Finn blurted out the first thing he could think of to get his father to be quiet.

"Oh, Finn, soon you may be the man of the house." Jake started.

"Dad, you're going to be fine!" Finn protested. "You can't go, you just can't!" Finn's voice changed quickly from protest to plea.

"Finn..."

"You just need to rest, like the doctor said. And then there's those umm...lifestyle choice things." Finn started to talk rapidly.

"And we'll all do them with you so you don't feel left out. We'll exercise together." Finn promised. "Just please, please, rest. Like the doctor said. So you can get all better."

"Is my little Jakey ready for his sponge bath?" Grandma Ruth returned from the bathroom. Finn quickly exited the room.

* * *

Helen came home promptly at five o'clock everytime following Jake's heart attack. When she returned home, Finn was in the living room, reading the pamphlets the doctor had given them for Jake.

"_I suppose we have our own ways of dealing with this." _Helen thought as she changed into more comfortable clothes, and then went downstairs to change the drapes. Ever since Ruth arrived, she had done nothing but comment despairingly to the other three members of the household. To Helen herself, she commented on her lack of cooking skill, her working of long hours at the law firm, her decorating choices, and the list went on.

"_Sometimes I wonder whether we did the right things in the 70's. Then, I remember her, and I know that I did." _Helen thought. While Helen placated the woman as best as she could for Jake's sake when Ruth criticized her, Helen was two steps away from throwing the woman out of the house once she moved on to the children.

"_Everyone's a critic. What right do you have, Ruth?" _Helen condemned. The woman had always tried, ever since Finn was in junior high, to send him to military school at Buxton Ridge, where both Jake and his father went. Jake was deadset against the idea, and Helen even more so. They had never, not even one, remotely considered it.

"_At least she isn't telling Finn to get married. Although, after high school, who knows when she'll start on that." _Helen thought. While Ruth had never told Finn that, she had often mentioned to Jake and Helen that Finn should look to start a family soon, and find a good job so he could provide for them. That woman was clearly from Bizarro World. It must have been a truly different life back then. Who knew what she'd say to him if she learned that Finn got the girls to buy him things.

"Finn, can I ask you something?" Helen started. She had planned to ask her son if the drape pattern she had selected was "cheery" enough. Finn put the pamphlets down.

"Yes?" Finn asked. Helen started to open her mouth to ask the question, but then she saw her son's face as he looked at her. She saw his sunken, lidded eyes, his perpetual frown, his unshaved face, a feeling of general meekness. Nothing common to Finn.

Helen knew that Finn would have taken this the hardest. For all his male bravado, Finn was still the youngest person of the family, and his attachment to Jake was borderline fanatical. Helen recalled the time she trailed them on their father-son bonding day, and saw just how completely devoted the boy was to his father.

"Finn, please tell me..." Helen started, but then the phone rang.

"Go ahead and get it. It's probably Eric. If it is, I'm not here." Finn commented before grabbing the pamphlets and heading upstairs to his room.

"_Damn it." _Helen thought as she picked up the phone.

* * *

"Hello!" Helen spoke.

"Helen?" The voice on the other line was Rita.

"Oh, Rita, hello!" Helen commented. The only thing that could make this event any worse was Rita's commentary on the whole thing.

"I'm sorry, Rita, but things have been very hectic around here." Helen spoke into the phone.

"Is Finn around?" Rita commented. "I was hoping to talk to him." Rita asked. Helen briefly wondered whether or not she should lie to her sister. Finn was in a delicate spot, to be sure, and Helen wanted to be the one for Finn to open up too. Rita went through the same thing that Helen did when both sisters lost their father, but Helen was Finn's mother; Rita was not.

But Rita did work well with Finn, and Rita could, possibly, make Finn feel better about the whole situation.

"_Which is more important?" _Helen thought. Immediately as she thought of the question, she thought of the answer.

"Well, Finn's a little busy." Helen spoke. "I'll tell him you're here, but he might not be able to talk." Helen went upstairs with the portable phone, and informed Finn of the caller. Immediately, Finn grabbed the phone. Helen excused herself.

"_Daria and Finn are the two single-most important things to me. If only they believed that." _Helen thought sadly.

* * *

As Helen was entering her son's room, Daria was entering her father's. Jane had informed her of Finn's antics regarding Bing and the Spatula Man, and Daria was a little jealous that he did it first. They were making school life hell, and someone needed to put them in their place. That it was Finn didn't bother her in the least.

"_Hmph.." _Daria thought as she started to push open the door to her father's room. But she heard Jake and Grandma Ruth arguing, so she decided against pushing in. Instead, she listened in from the doorway.

"Oh sure, Dad was a great, caring man." Jake ranted sarcastically. "Got drunk every night, shoved me out of the house first chance he got, shipped me off to military school!"

"Now, Jakey, you said you wanted to go." Grandma Ruth reassured.

"Not on your life!" Jake screamed. "I said I was thinking about tennis camp. A harmless outdoor sport. He's the one who twisted it! He twisted everything. He thought tennis camp meant structure and structure meant military camp! He shipped me off to that sadist Corporal Ellenbogen as soon as he could!"

"Oh, right." Grandma Ruth agreed.

"Nothing was ever good enough. The smug bastard thought he was so great!" Jake continued his rant.

"Jakey, you're absolutely right." Grandma Ruth agreed, and Daria did not think that she was just placating him.

"I should have stood up to your father more. I knew what you needed, my Jakey, and I should have done what I knew rather than you. I wanted to do a lot of things different."

Daria opted not to go into the room. It could have been classified as a touching moment, at least in the Morgendorffer household. It made her father happy, and that was fine with her.

* * *

"Hello, Aunt Rita." Finn said into the phone.

"Finn, are you busy?" Rita asked politely.

"Busy? No." Finn mentioned. He had no plans. He had no desire to make any.

"Your mother said...well, it doesn't matter what your mother said. Are you well?" Rita asked.

"Fine." Finn replied. "But, well..." Finn relayed to her the story of his father's heart attack, the parts he could make sense of, at least. Rita was silent throughout the whole speech.

"Oh, my." Rita stated once Finn let her know he was finished. "How are you?" She asked. Finn was silent.

"Are you there?" Rita asked.

"Yeah. It's just, well, I'm not sure how to answer. No one's asked me."

"You mean your friends didn't?" Rita asked.

"I didn't tell them. They would just worry. I don't wanna worry people like that; that's mean."

"But it helps to have someone to talk to."

"I'm not about to make people feel bad just to make me feel better. That's what Daria does. And I don't want pity, either."

"It's not about pity." Rita replied. "Finn, friends are people who stand up for you no matter what. Things aren't going to always be good."

"But Dad..." Finn mentioned.

"Your father cares about you. I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I've got two eyes and they work." Rita replied. "And that's all I need. Finn, listen to me. You know that you won't have your father forever. But you care for him. You love your father, and that is what matters most."

"Ummm..." Finn was confused.

"Time is not eternal." Rita commented. "That's no excuse to be miserable." She delivered. "You're upset now, and you have every right to be, but don't shut out the world because you know it won't be forever. Cherish the time you have. Even when you're not doing anything together, you're connected."

"But I'm...I'm scared." Finn admitted tearfully. "I don't wanna lose Dad."

"Why?" Rita posed seriously. Finn had never heard her act so serious, at least, not when she wasn't arguing with Helen.

"Because..." Finn trailed off. He wasn't sure he could answer.

"You don't have to answer me. But you should answer him." Rita noted. Finn let that sink in.

"Thanks, Aunt Rita." Finn said after a long silence. "You made me feel better."

"Then I've done my job for a week." Rita replied. "When you're finished with your father, throw a party with all your football buddies, and encourage them to bring dates. Throw the biggest party you can think of, and keep the reason to yourself. You need to be around people. Goodbye, Finn." And Rita hung up the phone.

Finn exited his room with a smile. He did want to talk to his father, but Grandma Ruth was in the room, and Finn needed privacy.

* * *

Finn headed back down to the stairs, where his mother was slaving over a stewpot. While Finn did not like to eat the things his father cooked because he messed up the recipes, his mother's cooking was worse.

"Oh, Finn, can you try this? Your grandmother seems to think that Jake won't approve of this chili." Helen offered Finn a wooden spoon. Finn grabbed the spoon and took a careful taste, and then immediately spit it out.

"Mom, chili isn't supposed to be sweet." Finn commented.

"Oh, dammit. I mixed up the sugar and the salt again!" Helen cursed.

"Hello, everyone." Ruth came into the room soon after Finn did.

"How is the cooking coming, Helen? You know, I'd be more than happy to show you how it's done." The old woman lectured.

"I can cook for my family just fine." Helen returned.

"Of course. And that's why Finn is spitting out your chili. Jake never spit out my chili, and I've made it for decades." Ruth returned. Helen muttered under her breath.

"And Finn, have you given any more thought to Buxton Ridge?" She turned on him.

"No, Grandma." Finn returned. "I'm not going to go to military school."

"Oh, Finn, you shouldn't just write it off. It's what men are supposed to do." Ruth replied.

"Excuse me!" Helen immediately took the pot off the burner and moved towards the older woman.

"Now, Ruth, I've tried to be polite, but you're not the authority on..." Helen started.

"She's telling us how wonderful her and Grandpa's life was." Daria, sitting at the table chimed in. Had she always been there? "She wants the two of you to lead your lives exactly like hers. Isn't that right, Grandma. You told Dad that too, that Dad did everything right and you supported him every step of the way." Daria's tone was sarcastic, and Finn couldn't help but wonder what it was that Daria knew.

"Well, I..." Grandma Ruth stuttered. "I have to finish with the cleaning." Grandma Ruth stood up and departed. Not a word was spoken either to Finn or Helen.

"You may place the required payment in the usual place." Daria stated before going upstairs. Finn started to fish in his pocket, wondering if he had enough to compensate

"I've got this one, Finn. Trust me, I'm being repayed ten times over for that one." Helen muttered another curse as she went for her purse.

* * *

Daria headed upstairs after speaking about Grandma Ruth to the rest of the family. She carried with her the section of the newspaper with the crossword. Her father liked to do crosswords, but he was no good at them. Daria would often start them, doing the really hard or tricky ones, and then pass them off for her father to finish.

"Hey, Dad." Daria pushed into her father's room. He was sitting up straight in bed, alone. Grandma Ruth did not stop by here.

"_Good." _Daria thought. She wasn't a fan of her Grandma Ruth, and, if her advice to him was as good as the advice given to her mother and brother, she had more work to do.

"Hi, Daria." Her father returned warmly.

"I brought you the crossword." She placed in her father's lap the paper and handed him a pen.

"Thanks, kiddo." Jake cheered. Daria cringed whenever he called her that, but she didn't mind. Her father was her father: he wasn't a jerk.

"Feeling any better?"

"I guess." Jake returned. "It's just...I'm sorry I scared all of you."

"Hey, you don't need to do that." Daria sat down at the edge of his bed.

"Daria, am I, you know, an alright dad?" Jake posed. Daria's eyes widened. Never in her wildest dreams would she dream of her father asking her this question.

"Uhhh...that's a strange question. Particularly to ask me." Daria pointed.

"It's just, well, you and Finn are everything to me." Jake replied. "My whole life I've had my father always yelling and ranting and telling me I'm such a..."

"Dad, heart attack. Deep breath." Daria instructed. Jake stopped, and followed instructions.

"It's just, well, I've always wanted both of you kids to feel special, and important. I never wanted either of you to feel like you've let me down."

"No. Not even once." Daria admitted truthfully.

"I mean, Daria, I spend so much time with Finn, and every time I do, I can't help but wonder if, you know, you feel left out." Jake posed. Daria knew this was true, although her father's suspicions were unfounded. Daria knew what her relationship with her father was like; time was meaningless to her. Finn had nothing to do with it.

"It's just, well, after this heart attack, I can't help but wonder if I can't y'know, a better dad."

"Dad, you're a great dad." Daria told him. "You've always been there when I needed you." Daria wasn't exactly sure how to word what she wanted to say: While her father never made her feel not special, he, like her mother, often wondered if she would participate and engage more socially. While he never forced her like Helen, he still made his wishes clear.

"Really? It's just, well, with my father..." Jake started. And then, Daria understood, and she knew what she needed to say.

"Dad, you're doing much better than your father did. Your father was a terror who gave you nightmares. Would I be wrong in saying you never got the father you wanted?" Daria posed. Jake paused, clearly unsure of how to answer.

"Well, yeah." Jake meekly admitted.

"So you never got the father you wanted, no matter how hard you wished. You wanted a dad who had a kind word, and showed you things, and helped you when you were scared, right?"

"Yeah!" Jake cheered.

"And that kind of father, that's better than the one Grandpa was?" Daria asked. Jake nodded.

"So, when you didn't get the father you always dreamed of, you had your children and made it yourself. You became that dream father you wished you had. Wouldn't that make you better than him?"

"Ummm..." Jake stuttered. Daria figured this would be the case: her father spent his whole life feeling inferior; praise, especially self-praise, was not easy.

"Dad, you hate your father for all the hell he put you through. Well, Finn loves you. He worships you. You're very large in his eyes. And..." Daria trailed off for a moment.

"You...you are in mine too." Daria finished, still disbelieving she actually said it. Her father was a goof, and a bungler, and wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. But Daria knew her father meant a lot to her. She couldn't even begin to imagine a life without him, but she knew such a thing would be a lot bleaker.

"Really?" Jake smiled.

"Yeah, Dad. Not to mention, your dad died in his thirties, didn't he?" Daria noted.

"So, I'm a good dad? I never made you feel bad or anything?" Jake needed reassuring, another one of his personality quirks.

"Of course." Daria noted. Her father smiled.

"Finn..." Her father's voice trailed off, and he immediately got out of his bed. He put on his slippers and a bathrobe and exited the hallway.

"_Hmmm..." _Daria wondered whether or not she should eavesdrop on this. Ultimately, she decided against it. Finn and her father's relationship, ultimately, had nothing to do with her.

* * *

Jake pushed open Finn's door, where he appeared to be sitting at his desk. He turned towards the intruder, and seemed surprised to learn that it was his father.

"Dad! You're up!" Finn was surprised, but he was pleasantly so, it appeared.

"Finn, I'm feeling great!" Jake remarked. Finn seemed even more pleasantly surprised, and ran towards his father.

"Oh, Dad, that's wonderful!" Finn grabbed his father into a hug, and practically tackled the man, knocking him to the ground.

"Oh, Dad, it's so great. I thought I lost you again." Finn clutched his father tightly.

"Again?" Jake asked. Jake knew he hadn't had a heart attack before this. He stood up and started to regard his son, who clearly seemed surprised that he said that.

"Ummm..." Finn stuttered, something he rarely did.

"Finn, why would you say again?" Jake asked.

"Errr..." Finn seemed uncertain on how to answer. His face paled.

"Well, uhhh...I don't wanna lose you." Finn stammered. "You're too important to me, Dad."

"Finn, what is it?" Jake asked. "You can tell me anything. You said again, so that means you thought I was gone before, right?" Finn took a seat on his bed.

"Aunt Rita told me this too." Finn remarked to himself.

"Huh?" Jake asked.

"Nothing. It's just...something that happened back at the old house. Something...I remember."

* * *

After Helen disposed of her chili, she decided to go upstairs and check on Jake. As she made her way up the stairs, however, she heard voices from Finn's room. Jake's voice, as well as Finn's. Jake was up and walking around?

"_Well, that's good." _Helen thought. Even if it wasn't the "exercise" the pamphlets said, the fact that he was up and about could only improve his outlook. While Helen would have to make sure Jake didn't overdo it, there was no harm in him talking to Finn. She paused briefly to make out the conversation they were talking about.

"What is it?" Jake asked eagerly.

"I don't remember it too well...I was real young, I think I was, like, four." Finn stated to his father. "That's when it happened."

"When what happened?" Jake asked. Finn paused, seemingly unsure of what to say, or how to say it, next. But whatever it was, Jake, despite his heart attack, was sitting down with Finn and talking about it. Jake being serious was serious enough. Helen pushed her way into the room.

"Jakey, you're up!" Helen expertly covered. Finn shot her a nasty look.

"Honey!" Jake cheered.

"Was I interrupting anything?" Helen asked innocently. Finn, again, shot her another dirty look. Helen banked on Jake's obliviousness to see her through, and it paid off.

"Well, we were just talking. Honey, maybe you can help. Finn was telling me something about..."

"I was telling you, Dad." Finn interrupted, something he rarely did.

"Finn, you seem angry. I'm sure Jakey and I can figure out what it is? What were you two discussing?" Helen played her cards masterfully, invoking Jake's name in the appropriate place. Ultimately, Helen cursed herself inwardly as this was not the sensitive approach she desired to show Finn she was capable of performing.

"_The goal. Helen." _She reminded herself. Whatever this thing was with Finn, it bothered him deeply. Jake clearly thought so, and he knew Finn better than anyone. Although, the fact that he didn't know this, and that it bothered Finn for over ten years, started Helen to question how well that was. She heard nothing of this from Rita, although Rita wouldn't tell her, even if she did know.

"Finn?" Jake asked.

"I was...I was four like I said. I don't remember too much about it. But you guys came to the school and met with the teacher. Something about Daria." It was clear to Helen that Finn was trying to put together his memories as best he could. As he spoke, Helen tried to recall the memory Finn was speaking about.

He mentioned they were called into school to talk about Daria, which happened fairly frequently, particularly at that age. A specific moment might have been difficult to pin down.

"Continue, Finn." Helen instructed. There may have been other places in his memories that would be clearer.

"Well, I just remember trying to stop you guys from fighting. I tried to talk about all the friends I made but no one listened to me. Then we had dinner and you put us to bed, and then you two started yelling at each other. About Daria. I was so scared I hid under the blanket and tried to cover my ears so I wouldn't hear it. But then the yelling stopped, and I heard the door slam. I looked out the window and saw Dad drive away." Finn's story still seemed very disjointed to Helen, even though it followed a certain chronology.

"_But I guess that's to be expected. Finn was four then, and it was a long time ago." _Helen thought. As she recalled Finn's new information, distant bells were ringing in her memory.

"I do remember that." Helen remarked. "Jake, it was in October, eleven years ago. We were called in because the counselors told us that Daria hadn't been playing with the other children for weeks.

"Oh, Right." Jake agreed.

"I tried to stop all the fighting, I really did. But Dad looked so mad I got really scared, so I wished and I wished that he'd come back, and then you there when I woke up." Finn seemed almost childlike and innocent as he spoke to his parents. The gigantic football player, taller and stronger than his mother and father both, now was the frightened little boy all over again. Helen held her tongue for a moment.

"_Okay, Helen, what do you do now?" _This was what she was waiting for. Finn had opened up something deep, something that clearly meant much to him. And Helen knew she had only one chance to do this.

Helen didn't even look at Jake, who was, no doubt, as lost as she was. She shut her eyes for a moment, and tried to make sure that she knew exactly what she wanted to say.

* * *

After talking to her father, Daria went to her room for a moment. Her father had left the crossword on his bed, and clearly wanted to spend his time with Finn, so Daria claimed it from him and finished the rest of it herself.

She wished she hadn't when she started. She did the hard words so her father wouldn't strain himself and get stressed out on the name of Dorothy Gale's cow from _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. _So doing the easy ones was simple.

"_And crossword puzzles make me so parched." _Daria thought as she started to head down the stairs to get a soda. As she passed by Finn's room, she heard the rest of the family through the doorway. They seemed to be discussing something serious.

If this was an attack, which it probably was, then Daria poised herself carefully to listen in. Knowing what was said would give her more time to properly prepare the correct returning fire.

* * *

"Finn, what happened that night had nothing to do with you." Helen got out the first part of her sentence, the easy part, out very quickly.

"We were always getting calls like that to come into school." Jake chimed in. Helen glared at him. This was about Finn and his problems; blasting Daria would not help matters.

"Things were very tense back then. I had to resume a full-time work-load, and your father was working with an absolutely sadistic boss." Helen continued.

"Tense. Very tense." Jake chimed in again.

"So we had a fight that night, your father spent the night in a motel, and then he returned home."

"I never was leaving forever. I would never." Jake chimed in again. "You two are too important to me for that."

"Both?" Finn asked with a confused voice. "Even though Daria caused all those fights?"

"Finn, not everyone is going to fit in with other children as well as you did. We have our talents and that was yours, not hers." Helen noted.

"But I tried so hard!" Finn pleaded. "I didn't want you to fight, so I tried to be a good boy! Not a mean smartass like Dari!" Finn's pleading tone changed into a curse. And things started to make sense to Helen.

"_Is that it, Finn?" _Helen thought to herself. "_Is that why you never apply yourself in school? Because you think it'll cause us to fight?" _That was, without a doubt, the silliest thing Helen ever heard her son say. Good grades would make Helen happy, not angry, and Jake couldn't possibly be any more proud of Finn already. Great grades would just be icing on the cake for him.

But this wasn't about grades, this was about Daria, and now things started making sense even more. Finn thought Daria was causing the family fights, so he hated her. He was mean to her, played mean pranks on her. But he also made sure he wasn't like Daria. He didn't want their parents to fight, and he didn't want them to leave.

Helen supposed she should have been flattered. But she needed to set the record straight with Finn. No one challenged his silly four-year-old conclusions because no one knew about them.

But before Helen could talk, she heard a sound of someone running down the steps. Then she heard the front door slam.

"_Did Daria hear?" _Helen wondered. That was all it could be; who else would be in the house? Helen sighed deeply when she realized the truth. Now both children needed the record set straight.

* * *

Jane was in the middle of a great nap when she heard the knocking on her door. After she chatted with Finn's three hot football friends, she went home after school and started on a painting. But her muse was dry: Jane was too concerned for Daria and Finn to paint properly. She was forcing work to concentrate on another task, and it was a waste of paint. Jane lay on her covers to think of something, and drifted off to sleep soon after.

With groggy eyes, Jane staggered her way to the door, nearly stepping on something sharp on her bare feet. When she reached the door, she saw Daria. While Jane's eyes were still not focused properly, Jane could swear that Daria looked extremely upset about something.

"Yo!" Jane commented dryly, as she often did. Daria didn't answer.

"You okay?" Jane asked. "You're as white as a sheet."

"I've been causing deep family rifts ever since I could walk. You'll have to excuse my lack of bounciness." Daria tried to use her sarcasm to hide her emotions, but, just like with Jane's painting, there was nothing accomplished with such pathetic overtures.

* * *

"What?" Jane had brought Daria into the kitchen. There was no refreshment of any kind to offer her other than water, but Daria was not in the mood for it.

"I've been causing deep martial and family rifts in my family for years." Daria reflected sadly.

"I heard you just fine." Jane returned. "What do you mean by that?"

"I thought, for all these years, my parents and my brother were torturing me, and it was so easy." Daria commented. "After all, Finn would fill my thermos for school with salt, trip me on the bus, and so on. And my parents, with all their lectures and their whining about fitting in, talking with all the other boring children, they were just ignorant."

"But..." Jane trailed off.

"But now I realize I'm the one causing huge marital fights." Daria noted. Finn's recollections jarred memories for Daria, and she remembered that day. Not as well as she'd like to, but she remembered that she was called in to meet with the school councillor, or psychiatrist, whoever she was. She asked her to look at an inkblot picture, and asked her why she didn't play with the other children, or why she always read.

"_That's obvious, because the other kids were jerks." _Daria thought. The other kids teased her for reading so much, called her egghead and other stupid childhood insults. She never paid them a second thought. But, apparently, that was bad, and Mom and Dad were called in.

After that, the parents had scooped up both children, and took them home. On the ride home, Finn was bouncing in his car seat, eagerly trying to interrupt and talk about all the people he spoke to, but Mom and Dad focused on her, told her that "it takes all kinds" and all that common crap. But it was that night which Daria remembered.

As she lie in her bed, she could hear her parents argue. And, now that Daria's memory was jarred, she knew they were arguing about her. Her father had mentioned she didn't want to fit in, and their mother returned that she was just a child. Daria's room had faced the backyard, so she didn't see anything, but heard her father walk out the door, and drive off. The loud noises were very scary, and Daria recalled crawling into a refrigerator box she colored with crayons to look like a house, and reading in their: safe within the cardboard walls.

Daria reflected the story, as best as she could, to Jane. The artist sat silently.

"So that's it." Daria noted. "I've always thought they tortured me, but the truth is, I tortured them. I've been torturing them for years."

"Things aren't always one-way. Kids torture parents, and parents torture kids." Jane remarked factually. Jane knew that her parents didn't torture her, but they were never around to torture. She was the exception, and wisely kept that knowledge to herself.

"And Finn." Daria reflected. "He was always such an asshole. But not only was I torturing him, I made him believe that if he wasn't the picture-perfect popular boy, our parents would split up."

"Wouldn't that make you proud? You manipulated him without knowing for ten years." Jane remarked. Daria shot her a nasty look, Jane didn't back down.

"Daria, that's not the most sensible conclusion to draw. I mean, what you parents do with you has nothing to do with him."

"Jane, this is Finn we're talking about. A four-year-old Finn. He was still trying to walk through the bathroom mirror to get to Wonderland." Daria moped.

"So Finn believes you were making the parents suffer and he enacts holy judgment. Thus, the prank wars I so often hear about." Jane continued. "Wow. No wonder he hates you."

"And that's what makes this horrible. I mean, if Finn was just an ass, then I could call him an ass and that was that. But he had a reason. Not only that, a true reason." Daria moped.

"Daria, I never got the impression that your parents minded when you spoke your mind. Your mother always seemed to be proud of that as well as annoyed. The whole feminist thing." Daria was silent.

"God, I really suck." Daria moped.

"Daria, why does it have to be simply good or simply bad?" Jane asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you said you wished you could simply write Finn off as an ass, and be done with it, but now he has a reason, and you're the bad guy. Can't you both just suck?" Jane posed.

"Jane, between Finn and I..."

"It's complicated, hard to explain, a battle for constant superiority. You're not married." Jane interrupted dryly.

"Listen, Daria, you thought you were just being you, when, in reality, you were torturing your family. Finn decided to make you miserable, and it continued for years. You thought he was an ass, and returned fire. Seems to me like all the ducks are in a row. Shouldn't you be talking to your family?"

"I think so." Daria remarked. "But I needed to talk to someone smart enough for me to sort them first."

"Or someone who cared enough about the two of you to smack you across the face."

"Same thing."

* * *

Helen and Jake were still seated in Finn's room. The woman was still trying to sort through Finn's story. It all made sense, the problem was how to correct it.

"Finn, when things are tense and people are on edge, they lash out. Remember how you talked to the doctor at the hospital when your father had the heart attack?" Helen started.

"Anyway, we happened to be talking about Daria, your father and I had a difference of opinion, and our tempers just sort of boiled over." Helen finished. "She was just the topic of the fight, not the cause."

"That doesn't make sense." Finn returned. "Why would you fight about something that wasn't the cause?"

"The cause was just life." Helen sighed. "Just so much going on, a bunch of little things added up, that's when it boiled over. I mean, it could very well have been about your report card." Finn seemed to calm down.

"So we fought, your father left, came back, and life went on. We had forgotten all about it." Helen finished.

"You should, too." Jake commented, and Helen was surprised at her husband's rare insight. While Jake knew everything on the surface level about Finn, the child that lie beneath was a mystery to them both. After all, they were learning of this now.

"Daria was a intelligent, bright child, ever since she was young." Helen commented. "But someone with that kind of intelligence doesn't always fit in perfectly. There's a good and a bad side to everything. Just like you fit in so well with the other children..." Helen started, but then immediately stopped. She knew what she was about to say, but tried to stop herself.

"I fit in because I wasn't...you think I'm dumb." Finn finished his mother's sentence a little too thoroughly.

"Finn, what I meant was..." Helen started, but Finn's frown grew deeper as he hugged his knees closer to his chest.

"_Goddammit!" _Helen thought. The perfect time to encourage her son that Daria's brains were not driving the family asunder, and that it was alright for Finn to take pride in his brains, and she made Finn think she thought he was dumb.

"_I've only got myself to blame for that one." _Helen remarked sadly.

"Ummm...Finn, we don't think you're dumb!" Jake tried to cheer up, but Helen sighed as she knew the damage was done. Jake could fix the problem with a game of catch or a night sparring his son in the boxing ring. Helen would have no such luck.

"_And I think the problem will be fixed by that? " _Helen astonished herself. "_Either the male brain confounds me to no end or I really do think Finn is dumb. No, I don't. Finn is not dumb!" _Helen tried to reassure herself.

"Finn, what's important for you to understand is that the fight we had those years ago was just something that happened. Things just boiled over and got to be too much and we freaked out a little. We are sorry if we scared you. But you need to know that this isn't just something you can blame Daria for and hate her your whole life." Helen delivered. This was it, she could feel it. The crux of Finn, why he did everything he did. She could fix the unintended insult later.

Finn was silent. Things probably still didn't make any sense to him.

"Finn, we appreciate everything you tried to do." Jake smiled. "You don't need to try to make me happy. You make me happy when you're Finn. So be Finn."

Helen was astounded again at Jake's insight. Their relationship truly was more than boxing and football.

"Dad. Dad!" Finn grabbed his father and hugged him.

"_He feels better, and that everything." _Helen smiled. "_But...I wished it could be me who said those things." _Helen knew that, further down the road, Finn would have difficulty remembering his mother cheered him up. He would just remember that his mother called him dumb, even though she didn't mean to.

But Finn was happy, for now, and it looked like he was starting to understand.

"_One battle at a time." _Helen thought. "_But how many of them can I win." _And then Helen's mind raced back towards the conversation they had. They had talked of Finn and Daria, and how he was worried that she was hurting their father with her bad attitude, despite all his efforts to be a good boy. None of it had anything to do with Helen. Nothing in that explained why Finn thought Helen didn't love him. In fact, it was just the opposite. Finn wouldn't expend the effort trying to be a good little boy for Helen if he didn't love her. And he did say both parents.

Helen sighed, for she knew that her own battle had no resolution now. But Finn's smiling face as he hugged his father dispelled those thoughts from her head for a moment. She felt content, like she had just worked a long, hard day, and had earned herself some rest.

* * *

Daria arrived home to a quiet house. Nothing was stirring. Daria's heart was pounding as she realized what she was going to have to do. Talking to her parents wouldn't be a problem. She could speak to them. Finn was the clincher. Finn was trouble.

To admit a fault to Finn was blasphemy, the thought heresy. The only time Daria ever did that was to trick Finn into admitting a greater fault. It was how she got Finn to blab the first time he ever had alcohol. But to truly do something like that? It seemed a large thought.

Daria still didn't think Finn had the right to do as he did. The tricks he pulled, while Daria knew hers were better, were still pretty heinous, often involving disgusting animals. While Daria liked them now, she didn't as a kid. No kid liked to be covered in snails, or worms, or other sick stuff.

But this wasn't a matter of right and wrong; Finn thought he was right. Further, Finn's reason, while not justifiable, was _correct. _Daria did, to him, throw the first blow, and Finn was acting all the protective bulldog Daria knew he was.

Daria wondered, if, maybe, she'd need some backup against Finn. But she knew that she couldn't. Their mother could never order Finn to do anything, and her father couldn't.

Daria heard movement in the kitchen, and wondered if it was their father, raiding the fridge for a forbidden thing to eat. But as she moved to the kitchen, she saw that it was Finn, happily eating a bowl of ice cream.

He regarded her, but said absolutely nothing, and went back to his ice cream. Silence was a blessing around Finn. Daria went to the refrigerator, and discovered nothing she liked.

"Do you want...some ice cream?" Finn offered. Daria had heard strange things all day, with Grandma Ruth, who seemed to have vacated, and Finn's own problems, and that was the strangest thing ever. By far. Finn did not give anything to Daria. Further, not ice cream, his own forbidden passion.

"_I wonder if his dates know about his love of sweets. Probably. They'd think it's sexy. They'd think a rabid boar goring them with tusks was sexy if he liked it." _Daria thought.

"No." Daria responded. And then, to her surprise, she found herself uttering the word "thank you" in succession. Manners, around Finn?

"_Wow, I am out of it." _Daria thought.

"Where were you?" Finn asked.

"Jane's." Daria answered truthfully. She sat at the table, wondering which of them would start to talk about the day's revelations. Then Daria realized that Finn would have no idea that she knew anything. She had never told him anything, and he wouldn't know she was outside her door.

"Finn?" Daria posed.

"Yes?"

"Was Dad up a while ago?"

"He was." Finn replied with a smile. "Dad is doing a lot better. I talked to him."

"Good." Daria stated. This was awkward.

"Daria?" Finn asked.

"What?"

"Is Dad going to get better?"

"He was up, wasn't he?" Daria replied. True, that was no answer, but it would suffice for Finn.

"I'm so glad." Finn returned to his ice cream. And Daria wondered, if perhaps, this was what she should shoot for, for now. At least until her father was back to normal. But as soon as she thought of it, she realized she couldn't. Not for Finn, or anyone else, but for herself. It would drive her insane.

"Finn, do you..." Daria started, but realized she had no idea what she would say. Talking with Finn was almost always a trap. He was wily, and crafty, that much was true. He was not stupid, Daria knew, and did not treat their conflict as if he was so. He surprised even her sometimes. Rare, but it did happen.

"Daria?" Finn asked.

"Do you remember the first prank you ever pulled on me?"

"I stuck two wads of bubble gum in your hair." Finn remarked. "I was four. I can do better."

"About that. Do you remember when that was?"

"Years ago, like you said."

"And after that, didn't I return the favor."

"Yeah, you threw a beehive at me." Finn stated. "Never did work out like the cartoons, did it, with the beehive stuck on your head. It was just really messy. And stingy."

"Why did we play all those pranks on each other?" Daria asked. Finn paused, and Daria knew that he knew. He knew that she knew about the fight.

"That was a long time ago." Finn returned to his ice cream. "I have no idea." Finn was lying, and Daria knew it. But the lie made her smile. There was no way in hell Finn would avoid bringing up something like causing a martial rift. It was the perfect ammo. No prank Finn pulled on her could compare with making their father leave the house in anger.

So what was Finn's goal in all of this?

"You really don't."

"Well, a little. But I was four, if you remember your counting lessons. I don't know that much about it." Finn stated. Daria was surprised.

"Besides." Finn went to the freezer to put the ice cream away. "It was that long ago. It doesn't matter anymore." And Daria knew what Finn was trying to tell her. And she smiled. What the result of this was, Daria couldn't say.

But Daria smiled as she went upstairs to find her parents.


	23. Down the Road

"So Daria did get her license?" Finn asked as he helped Jane load up the Tank. Mystik Spiral had a gig in Fremont, about two hours away, and Jane was being paid to drive the band there.

"I saw it. Bad picture and everything." Jane commented with a smile. She had asked Finn to be her honorary roadie to get the band ready for their gig, but it was only after Finn arrived at Casa Lane that "roadie" just meant she wanted Finn as a carry-slave to load the van.

Finn didn't mind; hauling heavy crap was what he was good at. Finn had told Jane nothing of the events following his father's heart attack, although Finn was certain Jane knew, in her own way. Finn wasn't privvy to the details regarding Daria and Jane's relationship, but Daria seemed significantly...different around him. She still had a snarky comment or two, but there was a significant lack of malice in her words. Just dry humor, sort of like Jane's.

Finn was content to let this be. He was not about to become best friends with his own sister, but no pranks and no mean words? Finn could be happy with that.

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Jane offered.

"Sorry. Your brother's style of music isn't exactly my cup of tea." Finn remarked. "But thanks, anyway. I'll just help you get that drum set away. How the hell do these guys set everything up?'

"Trent and the band sleeps all the way up. It gives them just enough energy to play about half a dozen songs before they need to sleep again. Although they might be wired now. They had some of the icing from that cake." Jane commented.

"Wait, your house had baked goods?" Finn teased.

"I made-bought it for Daria getting her license."

"But I thought you didn't know Daria was getting her license today."

"No." Jane answered. "I did it the first time she took the test. I just figured she'd ace it. I mean, I only failed it twice, so I figured..."

"Daria failed that test about half a dozen times!" Finn remarked. He often teased her about it. "And she first took it...you've had a cake in your house for that long?"

"Relax, I put it in the freezer."

"Jane, I don't think you're supposed to freeze cake. And either way, that's been almost six..." Finn trailed off and shuddered.

"So, was that cake any good?" Finn asked with trepidation.

"I didn't eat it. Come on, I'm not stupid."

* * *

Mom and Dad were supposed to be heading to some sort of relationship seminar thing. Finn didn't get the details, as both of his parents were notoriously brief about it. But, considering who his mother was, Finn wasn't surprised. When Finn arrived home from Jane's, his parents were already fussing about.

"Helen, have you seen my good tie?" Jake asked as he walked down the steps

"Have you tried your closet, where you normally keep your ties?" Helen asked, following him.

"Dad, you wanna borrow one of mine?" Finn asked.

"Hey, that would be great!" Jake cheered.

"And this is my relationship." Helen commented smartly to herself, Finn shot her a nasty look, as he had been doing for some time now.

"Oh, Finn, did you know Daria got her license?" Helen remarked.

"Yes." Finn replied as he went upstairs and quickly snatched up one of his silk ties to lend to his father.

"Thanks!" Jake started fidgeting with it.

"Careful, Jake, you'll rip it." Helen remarked.

"I know how to tie a tie, Helen." The two parents started to squabble.

"Dad, you don't need to rush." Finn stated. "Here, your hair."

"Dammit!" Jake moaned. He went upstairs to get a comb.

"Finn, you know that when you and your friends are here, you're not to have any girls over." Helen instructed her son.

"I know, Mom." Finn crossed his arms across his chest.

"And I know where we keep the booze, and I know how much is in the bottles."

"We're not going to drink, Mom, we're just catching the football game."

"I can taste it when you water it down." Helen cautioned.

"Jeez, Mom, take a pill." Finn sighed. There was silence between Finn and his mother as Jake rummaged around in the bathroom, then a slight bedlam as Jake, and some other small items, were heard toppling to the ground.

"Dammit!" Helen echoed as she went upstairs. Soon, the parents were soon back downstairs, putting the last finishing touches on themselves. Finn helped his father, and soon, the two parents were off.

"_Hey, Finn, how are you today? Oh, I'm so happy to hear you're doing well." _Finn mocked his mother's lack of any parental kindness.

"_I suppose she thinks I'm just a rummie." _Finn thought bitterly. Not that she was ever proud of him.

"_Not that I care." _Finn nearly convinced himself.

* * *

The guys arrived about ten minutes later. Jeffy had his arms full of chips. Jamie and Joey had 12-packs full of soda. Finn had agreed not to drink any booze this night, and he was going to live up to his promise. The one he made to his father, not his mother.

"Wings should be hear in half an hour." Finn remarked. The guys splayed themselves on the couch.

"I wish I had a bigger TV." Finn lamented.

"Hey, this is fun!" Jamie returned, and Finn laughed. Those guys were really cool following his father's heart attack. They even came over with cards for Jake when Finn followed Rita's advice of throwing a party. How they found out about the heart attack was anyone's guess, but Finn wasn't angry. Those guys were saints.

The game had only just gotten started when Daria announced her presence.

"You guys know you're not the only ones here?" Daria commented sourly.

"You gonna ruin our fun?" Finn criticized.

"Just clean up when you're done." Daria sighed before the phone started to ring. She answered it. A commercial was about to come on, so Finn turned the volume down to make things less painful for him later on.

"Hello." Daria placed her finger in her ear and started to speak in the phone.

"You're where?" Daria shouted with disbelief, and Finn cocked his head to watch her.

"Jail!" Daria exclaimed. Finn knew that the only person Daria would ever be concerned about being behind bars was Jane. Maybe Trent, but Finn didn't think he'd have the number to the house. If he did, he would have forgotten it.

"You need..." Daria spoke into the phone. "And the money is...okay. He wants...oh, wow." Daria spoke into the phone, and Finn found himself wondering what exactly the conversation was about.

"Whoo!" Jeffy cheered as Green Bay scored their first touchdown.

"What? No, that was Finn and his football friends." Daria returned. "Okay. Okay, I'll be there in a bit." Daria hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Finn asked.

"Nothing that concerns you." Daria returned.

"Daria, that was Jane and she's in jail, isn't she?" Finn challenged.

"How the..."

'You only wish you were hard to read." Finn returned.

"Well, yeah. Fine, Jane got a speeding ticket, she didn't have the money, so she's in jail. I have to go now."

"You're going to drive all the way to Fremont?" Finn asked.

"How the...never mind, I know how you know. How else would you propose I do it. Anyway, I need to get the bail money from Jane's, so I'll have time enough to think of an explanation on why Mom's car is low on gas."

"Or my bribe money for keeping quiet." Finn returned.

"Jerk."

"You'd do it if you were me. You'd bilk me, too."

"Didn't say I wouldn't. I just said you were a jerk." Daria returned. She then walked out the door and headed down the street to Jane's house. Finn returned back to the game. Green Bay had already intercepted the ball from Washington, and it looked like they were going to make another touchdown. And it wasn't even five minutes in the first quarter.

"_How boring." _Finn thought. The guys were less excited too. Finn wondered if this boy's night was going to be a real bust.

"Hey, guys, something kinda came up." Finn instructed his friends.

"Huh?" Joey asked.

"You remember that friend of mine, Jane?"

"Yeah, I remember her, she told us about your dad!" Jeffy stated eagerly.

"Jeffy, that was supposed to be a secret!" Jamie criticized.

"Dammit!" The redhead cursed.

"Anyway, she's..."

"We did hear you." Joey remarked. "Isn't your sister going?"

"Yeah, but I should probably tag along. Daria's bad at person-to-person interaction, and she needs a navigator."

"Dude..." Jamie seemed down.

"Hey, I'll make it up to you guys. On a night where the game isn't going to be so damn obvious." Finn geustered towards the TV. Sure enough, Green Bay had already scored another touchdown.

"Washington's defense blows!" Jeffy criticized. "Yeah, I guess this game does kinda suck. At least I didn't bet on them."

"After we get back, why don't we had for the arcade or something. Something more exciting. I'll bring some booze, too." Finn smiled. True, his mother said she could tell if he used the alcohol she knew about. But Finn had a hiding spot for his personal stash. He didn't use it tonight because it would be just like Helen to check in unexpectedly somehow.

"Alright, why not?" Jamie remarked. "No sense watching this game." The guys packed up and shipped out. Finn smiled.

"_Ah, a rescue trip to free Jane from the horrible confines of Johnny Law. Wow, she's right. I do have a hero complex." _

_

* * *

_

Daria returned about twenty minutes later. Finn reasoned she merely put the bail money in her purse, but what she was doing with an old notebook was beyond him. Was that the thing the "he", which could only be Trent, wanted?

"_Songbook?" _Finn thought. Wouldn't he have needed those special musical sheets with the music lines? But, Finn supposed that you could use the lines on notebook paper for the same thing.

"I'm going." Daria announced. "If you know what's good for you, you'll keep quiet."

"I'm not scared of you." Finn returned. "You think I've ever been scared of you. You're not in a position to make demands."

"Fine, what do you want?"

"Nothing." Finn returned.

"You honestly think I'm going to believe that?" Daria returned.

"No, nothing. I don't mind that you're going to rescue Jane. In fact, I'm coming too." Finn delivered.

"No. Way." Daria delivered flatly.

"Daria, you're going two hours away, and Washington's defense is so full of holes, it's like those pan thingies they use to get gold from the river."

"Sieve." Daria returned. "And not a chance."

"Daria, what if something cool happens?" Finn delivered. "I wanna be there for the action."

"Finn, Fremont is a dead little country town in the middle of nowhere across the state line. It's even deader than Lawndale."

"No town is that dead, Daria. You just need to know where to look." Finn returned. "But let me make this simple. Either I go with you, I get a bribe, or I tell Mom and Dad you took the car out for a joyride. How hard could it be?"

"Fine. I guess it helps to be prepared in the event of an emergency." Daria grabbed the car keys.

"After all, I'll need something to shove in front of me in case we're attacked by a bear."

* * *

After ten minutes on the interstate heading towards Fremont, Finn started to wonder how Daria ever got her license. She was so nervous behind the wheel.

"_It's not like I'm grading her." _Finn thought.

"Daria, you're hugging the shoulder." Finn remarked. "No one is going to come from the other way, it's a freeway. They would come from behind us. Use the rear view."

"And take my eyes off the road?"

"God, Daria, why are you so tense? Didn't you do this stuff in your driver's test?"

"Yes, and it wasn't any easier there, thank you very much. Gah, large truck!" Daria nearly screamed.

"Oh, right. Freaking semis." Finn complained. "Look at him. It's a highway, dammit. Fifty's a freaking sin. Just pass him.

"Pass?" Daria asked. "It's a truck, they have a hard time stopping. We really want him behind us."

"Well, duh, not for very long, just speed up and go in the..."

"I know how to do it, Finn." Daria criticized.

"So do it!" Finn instructed.

"The truck..."

"Daria, pull over. This is going nowhere." Finn ordered.

"What?"

"I said pull over!" Finn replied more forcefully. Daria was so surprised that she did.

"Okay, now get out." Finn instructed.

"You don't think to..."

"Daria, just do it. I'm not going to leave you here." Finn replied. Daria got out of the car. Now that she was out of the driver's seat, Finn immediately jumped over the center and settled into the driver's seat. He adjusted it for his height while Daria climbed into the front seat.

"You're not seriously going to..." Daria started.

"Let's burn rubber!" Finn smiled as he put on a pair of sunglasses and changed the radio station.

* * *

"It's a one-way ticket to midnight!" Finn shouted at the top of his lungs, singing along with the radio full-blast as he drove like a madman down the road. They lost a little time with the switching of the drivers, but Finn, who was easily going over 80 miles an hour, didn't even seem fazed. They passed the semi, as well as a few slow mini-vans.

"You see, Daria!"

"We're going to get pulled over!" Daria shouted.

"So watch for cops!" Finn shouted back, having to turn down the radio a bit.

"We're going to die!" Daria clenched the armrests of her seat, her face was white with fear. But Finn was red with laughter, eagerly weaving through traffic.

"Oh man, this is awesome!" Finn didn't start to slow down until he realized that the van was running low on gas. He turned off onto an offramp and quickly found a gas station.

"Woo!" Finn cheered as he pulled into the gas station.

"Where did you learn how to drive?"

"Jeffy showed me." Finn returned. "Joey did, too, I guess. They taught me and Jamie, both of us."

"And I suppose Joey and Jeffy both drive like maniacs with a death wish?"

"Daria, it's all about confidence." Finn lectured. "No one wants to get into accidents. Unless it's, like, those moms that poison their babies because they like the attention. I wonder if they do car accidents too."

"You're babbling, Finn."

"Anyway, you just have to know what you're doing. Being on the field and seeing the other team move is actually pretty good to understand that stuff. So is keeping your eye on the baseball. What's that thing called, like kinetic vision, or something?"

"You're completely missing the point."

"No, I'm not." Finn returned. "Be timid, people walk all over you. Be bold, they love you. You think I became top dog of Lawndale by being meek?"

"And that's such an accomplishment." Daria noted sarcastically. "Go pump the gas."

"Jeez, Daria, I was actually being helpful." It took Finn a second to realize where the lever to open the little door to the gas tank was, but soon Finn was pumping it.

"Didn't Mom show you how to pump gas?" Finn asked.

"I've never done it before, but yeah." Daria remarked.

"You're paying for this." Finn lectured. Daria placed her purse on top of the car.

"Get it from there. But only take twenty. The rest is the bail money." Finn grabbed the wallet from inside and started to walk inside the store. After he paid for the gas, he headed back out.

"I hope you didn't buy anything." Daria remarked. Finn put Daria's wallet back inside her purse.

"No, Daria. I know better then to spend your money." Finn rolled his eyes.

"Don't be an ass." Daria remarked. "You'd have to go if you bought an Ultra-Cola. And we're on a time crunch."

"If we're on a time crunch, why the hell were you driving like an old lady? And plus, I'm a guy. If I can't hold it for two hours, there's something wrong_." _Finn returned. "Jeez, Daria, what's your damage!" Finn accused as he got back into the car.

"Forgive me for actually not wanting to get into an accident." Daria huffed.

"Daria, I didn't get in a car accident either."

"Finn, if our tire blew out, they'd be scraping us off the highway with squeegees."

"At least you'd be going down with me." Finn returned. "Seriously, Daria, what the hell is the problem. We weren't hurt, we got here in record time, Jane will be out before you know it. Seriously, you're just one giant buzzkill."

"It's called consideration. You know, taking into account that not everything is going to work out perfectly."

"Jeez, Daria, you have no fun if you sweat the small stuff like that." Finn buckled his seat belt. "You can't just live like expecting to fail."

"It's not expecting to fail, it's planning for it. Barrelling your way through things doesn't always work."

"This is freaking aggravating!" Finn moaned. "Come on, let's go. Aren't we on your precious time crunch?" And Finn put his foot to the gas and the car sped out of the gas station. It didn't take long for the two of them to hit the highway, where they were content to ignore each other. As they pulled out of the gas station, Finn thought he heard a slight sound on the roof of the car, but reasoned it was nothing. It wasn't loud or causing a problem anymore.

He certainly didn't notice that Daria's purse, along with the bail money, had been left on the roof of the car.

* * *

"And here we are, Fremont. See, I told you we'd get there just fine." Finn couldn't help but criticize as they pulled off the highway to Fremont.

"I could have done without the cardiac infarction." Daria commented.

"I wonder where the sheriff's office is." Finn wondered.

"Pull into a parking lot." Daria instructed. "I want to make sure everything's ready so we can walk in and leave."

"You're scared Mom's gonna drop by and check in?"

"You're supposed to be with your drinking, I mean, football buddies." Daria remarked, in such a way that Finn knew she made the mistake on purpose.

"Daria, what have I told you about talking trash about those guys?" Finn cautioned. Daria did not reply. Finn simply pulled into a parking lot.

"Hurry up." He told her.

"Where'd you put my purse?" Daria asked.

"Daria, why would I have your purse?"

"You took out money to pay for gas."

"Daria, I just took your wallet out. I left your purse on the car."

"Okay, so where did you put my purse once you put my wallet back into my purse?" Daria, not the least bit amused, replied.

"I didn't take it." Finn put his hands up in protest. "I put the wallet back, and then you started throwing a fit, and then we drove off. You mean you didn't grab your own purse?" Quickly, the two siblings started to realize what had happened.

"Fantastic job, Finn!" Daria yelled. "Now we're in the middle of nowhere with no money to bail Jane out of jail!"

"You're yelling at me!" Finn returned, just as irate as she was. "You're forgetting it was your damn purse that you didn't pick back up. What the hell were you doing while I was in there paying?"

"Waiting for you to bring out my wallet!" The two siblings quarreled for a minute.

"I wish I could say I was surprised. This is what happens when you bludgeon your way through things."

"Oh, and I suppose you very carefully neglected to pick up your own purse." Finn took in a deep breath.

"Okay..." Finn shut his eyes and started to think.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out how we can get....how much money was it?"

"Hundred and fifty." Daria answered.

"Okay, that's simple enough."

"Simple?" Daria returned. "You're forgetting we're on a time crunch."

"And you're forgetting my manly charms." Finn returned. "You think I don't know how to get the things I want?"

"The only thing you're going to get is arrested."

"Arrested how?" Finn challenged. "Okay...now to find a good spot." Finn started down Main Street, with Daria quickly following. Finn checked out all the places, writing off most of them.

* * *

"Alright, this looks promising." Finn took his stop in front of a bar.

"Finn, this is a bar." Daria returned.

"That means there's lots of people. People with cash. Drunk, desperate people, and party people. The kinds we want."

"Finn, how the hell do you expect to get in?"

"I have ID." Finn returned with a smile.

"Why do you...never mind." Daria followed Finn up to the door. There was no bouncer to accost the two, so they pushed right inside. The inside wasn't very lively, but, considering it was still just late afternoon, that was hardly surprising. There was something of a crowd.

"I knew I've heard of this place." Finn smiled. "This is that bar where the girls dance on top and wear the cowboy boots. I knew I knew what I was doing."

"Finn, those types of girls are used to getting you to spend money, not the other way around."

"Daria, they are still girls. You just need to know how to ask them."

"Finn, this is a bad idea." Daria commented.

"Well, what's your plan?" Finn returned.

"My plan was to not get in this problem in the first place. Need I remind you that it was your complete recklessness that got us into this situation."

"And you know, if you say it enough, maybe it'll actually come true. But if that was true, I would have had another sister a long time ago." Finn mocked her. "Can you hustle a game of pool?"

"No."

"Then shut up and let me work."

* * *

Finn made his way up to the bar. Some of the girls were dancing, but there was always at least two girls behind them handling drink orders. Finn figured it must have just been a company policy: the bar wasn't busy enough to need that many people. Finn positioned himself at the end of the bar, and a brunette-haired girl wearing black leather and jeans soon made her way over to him.

"What can I get you, sweetie?" The woman asked.

"Shot of Jack." Finn remarked. This was all part of his master plan, a plan that served him well against the girls of Lawndale. Show them a crack, then close it up.

"You got ID for me?" Finn reached into his wallet and threw down the necessary money, as well as pulling out his fake ID.

"Sure thing, Dukey." The woman departed towards the middle of the bar.

"Dukey?" Daria asked.

"Daria, go away." Finn said in a hushed tone. "My ID's name isn't mine." He whispered. "My name is Duke Hudson here."

"Duke Hudson? That sounds like a stripper name."

"It needs to sound a little silly. Generic names get caught. Now get going!" Finn stated in a hushed tone. Daria disappeared into the bar. The woman returned with whiskey.

"You're new in town. What brings you to Fremont, sugar?"

"Can't I just be the handsome mysterious stranger?" Finn chuckled. Everything was going according to plan.

"If you want." The girl chuckled back at him.

"_Jackpot." _Finn thought. The girl grabbed a mug and started to fill it with beer from the tap, presumably for another customer.

"So, anyway. I'm up in Fremont for a short bit. Maybe you could show me around."

"Can't, sugar. Working all night." The bartender replied.

"Awww, really." Finn put his charms into overdrive. "Maybe a place to get a bite, maybe I'll let you know why I came to town." The woman finished pouring her beer. She paused for a minute, as if considering what to do. Ultimately, she took the mug and threw its contents in Finn's face.

"You wish, hotshot." The woman walked to get another mug. Finn departed from the table.

* * *

"That must be the way they serve beer here."

"Please, I don't drink this cheap swill. Ewww, Coors." Finn sampled the brew dripping from his face.

"What the hell went wrong?" Finn wondered aloud. "I did it just like clockwork."

"Finn, your textbook-perfect charms don't work when someone actually has a brain." Daria accentuated the former part of her sentence for sarcastic reference.

"And I suppose you've thought of a plan?" Finn challenged.

"No." Daria returned. "I'm still thinking. You're just out four bucks." Finn huffed and went to the bathroom to wipe the beer off his face.

Finn spent about ten minutes getting himself completely cleaned off. There was still a sticky feeling in his hair, but the mirror showed how clean he looked. Once he exited, he saw that there were more people in the bar. It seemed a crowd of practically all women arrived. While Finn thought the pickings were good, they were a crowd of friends, and clearly not interested in anyone breaking up their little group.

* * *

Depressed, Finn took a seat at the bar. The woman who threw the beer in his face was now up on the bar and dancing, and Finn was approached by another girl. She was younger than the first.

"Hey, sweetie, what'cha having?"

"Nothing for now." Finn remarked.

"What's wrong, sugar?"

"You gonna throw booze in my face?" Finn challenged. The woman backed down.

"Hey, I saw that. Relax, hon. I'm new here, I know better."

"That...well, whatev." Finn remarked glumly. "You're new here."

"Yeah. My older sister got me this job." The woman was chatty, and Finn found himself cheering up.

"You like it?" Finn asked.

"It's...different." The woman replied. "I don't not like it, but...well, I shouldn't be talking..."

"No, go ahead." Finn coaxed.

"Well, it's hard to be around all these people. I mean that group there..." The woman gestured towards the large group of women that had recently arrived.

"That's a bachelorette party."

"Doesn't that mean they love to drink? Make good tips." Finn remarked.

"It also means a loud, boisterous crowd." She returned. "And I'm no good around people like that. The boss said if I don't make good profit off them, I'm gone."

"It's not so hard. You just need to be aggressive. Take charge."

"But they'll just think I'm weird."

"Hon, it's a drunken crowd of women. Keep the booze running, give em a show, and you'll make your scratch. At least it's easier than my problem."

"What happened with you?" The girl asked.

"It's...nothing." Finn remarked.

"No, tell me." The girl insisted, somewhat forcefully. Finn was actually surprised.

"Well, I'm here in Fremont with my sister to bail my friend, her brother, and his bandmates out of jail. But we lost the money and I have no freaking idea how to get it back."

"How'd you lose that?"

"Long story." Finn did not mention the part where the purse was left on the car. She'd probably yell at him, just like Daria.

"So, I guess it's really the same. We both need money." The girl replied.

"Yeah, but I've just been failing at it." Finn moped. "How am I supposed to make a hundred and fifty dollars in under an hour?" The girl thought for a second, looked at Finn, then at the bachelorette party, who screamed out for a few pitchers of beer.

"I have a plan." The woman replied as she grabbed Finn by the collar.

* * *

"So what is the plan?" Finn asked the cute bartender, who dragged him into the back.

"A present." The woman replied, tying a ribbon around Finn's neck. His eyes immediately went wide.

"Listen, err...I'm not sure..."

"Come on now, Duke." The bartender replied, and Finn almost didn't acknowledge his fake name. "You're, what, twenty-two?"

"Three." Finn tried to recall the age on his fake ID. How the bartender knew it was beyond him, or maybe she was just guessing. The other, mean, bartender might have mentioned his name and face, but that's it.

"Anyway, I'm sure they'll respond better to you than to me. We'll go over, I'll serve them drinks, you entertain them. Tips are tips, it's win-win."

"I don't have to take my clothes off, do I?" Finn asked hopefully.

"It might make things go faster." She replied.

"Eep!" Finn squeaked. He quickly cleared his throat, lest the bartender think he was an underage boy with a changing voice.

"I mean, I've...uhhh...never done anything like that before." Finn covered. "I'd rather...uhhh...not put the financial situation at risk."

"You'll be fine, sweetheart."

"Where did this hidden confidence come from?" Finn asked.

"You'd be surprised how quickly I move once I get an idea. Come on." And the woman grabbed Finn again and dragged him out back into the bar.

* * *

"How are all you ladies? Having a good time?" The bartender left the bar to make her way to the table where the women were sitting at. She got cheers in response.

"Well, I'm Elaine, and it's my pleasure to be taking care of you." She smiled. "I understand one of you ladies is going to be a bride soon enough."

"That's me!" The woman at the end of the table cheered. "And we need another pitcher of Amstel Light."

"Right on it." She smiled. "But first, I want to introduce you to Duke. He's my..."

"Cousin." Finn quickly covered. A lie he used to tell when people wondered if he and Daria were related.

"Right. He's a cousin of mine. His dad and my dad are twins. And when I told him that we were having you ladies stop by, he offered to keep you company."

"Just the way I `em. Tall, strapping, and young. Not like my fiancé." The bride-to-be sniped, and laughter erupted from the women.

"So, Duke, why don't I leave you here with them while I get that Amstel. Anything else before I go, ladies?"

"Take his pants with you!" One of the women, who was already tipsy, noted.

"Well, Duke, you heard..."

"Now, now. The...the mystery is best done slowly." Finn tried to cover his stuttering and his fervent desire to remain as clothed as possible. Elaine departed from the table, leaving Finn with the women.

"_God, some of these women are old enough to be Mom." _Finn thought with disgust.

"Hello, ladies. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding." Finn leaned on the table to address the bride, who was sitting in the back. As he did, however, he felt a sharp pinch right on his ass.

"Agh!" Finn reeled back to see the woman sitting at the end closest to him decided to take a feel of her own.

"Now, now, hands off the..." Finn started, but the ladies' cheering drowned out his protests.

"Everything going all right here, ladies?" Elaine returned with the requested pitcher.

"Get your cousin here to show us some dance moves! They dance at this bar, don't they?" The tipsy woman demanded.

"Duke, I thought you were helping out your cousin." Elaine turned to him.

"Well, umm...Elaine..." Finn started, but then he felt another pinch on his ass.

"That boy knows how to work out." The offending woman remarked to cheers from her crowd.

"Well, ladies, I don't mean to bore you with Duke's tale, but a good friend of his is in jail right now..." Elaine started.

"So have him work for his dollar. Get him on the table and dance for us!" The bride shouted. "If you do a good job..." The woman reached into her purse and pulled out a fifty.

"_Oh wow." _Finn thought. He'd be a third of the way there with one shot. And, in bachelorette parties, wasn't the bride the guest of honor, and didn't have to pay?

"Oh, Duke, you just gotta dance. This ladies need to see your moves. I don't want to brag, girls, but Duke helped me get my job here. He showed me everything he knows." Elaine casually told the group.

Finn shot an angry glare at Elaine. He knew she was just trying to work the crowd and get them to spend more. But it wasn't helping him. Not one bit.

"Just go as soon as the music starts." Elaine placed the pitcher on the table, and started back towards the bar.

"_Well, I guess I gotta do what I gotta do." _Finn sighed. He bent down to pull his shoes off.

* * *

"What is going on here?" Daria, her face wide in disbelief, came over to the table where Finn was working. She had seen one of the bartenders take Finn into the back after speaking with her, and Daria was scared to wonder what he'd do in the back there. But he showed up a moment later, where the two went to a table of rowdy women. He was flirting with them, as he did with all other women, and they were clearly enjoying it, enjoying it with their hands.

Daria knew enough about her brother's methods to know he did not like being touched. Although Daria did like the fact that he was suffering, the fact that it happened again concerned her just a bit. Enough to go over there and see what the fuss was about.

"_I didn't say I'd stop it." _Daria thought with an evil grin.

"Just a sec." Finn addressed the women as he stepped away from the table.

"Don't you ruin this." Finn warned.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I'm making us the bail money. What does it look like?" Finn took his shoes off.

"Hold these." He ordered Daria, handing her his shoes.

"You can't be serious." Daria was incredulous.

"We're running out of time, and we don't have one red cent." Finn returned sharply. "And I don't see you, with all your careful plans, getting us anywhere. Unless you have a plan. Please tell me you have another plan."

"No." Daria replied honestly.

"Then you're useless. Go outside. I can't do this if you're watching." Finn ordered her.

"Finn, you don't have to do this." Daria replied. It was true that they needed the money, and that Finn should be the one to suffer to get it, since he was the one who lost it. But this was pretty degrading, even for him. His panicked face bothered her more than she'd care to admit.

"Yes, Daria, I do have to do this. Now get going! I'll come outside when I've got enough. Hopefully, this won't take long." And Finn walked back to the table. Daria looked at him nervously, but ultimately decided to follow his wishes.

"_This is how he treats girls." _Daria rationalized. "_Wouldn't it be funny, to plop him on a pole. I really can't watch that. Too disturbing." _

_

* * *

_

Once the music came on, the women grabbed their drinks, and Finn made his way onto the table. He thought that this might leave his ass out of grabbing range, a thought that was quickly rendered false. A country song started to play, a fast-paced country song Finn had never heard before, but he quickly started tapping his feet to the beat.

"Oh yeah!" The women cheered.

"Come over here, boy!" The bride cheered, waving her fifty. "Crawl to me."

"_Oh god, no!" _Finn felt his stomach churn.

"_I'm doing this for Jane." _Finn thought. "_This is just to get Jane out of jail. And since Daria is of no help..." _Finn suppressed a sob as he dropped to his knees and obeyed the woman's instruction, and tried to make his performance as sensual as he could muster it.

"_Dirty. Dirty." _Finn thought as he made his way towards her. He felt more grabbing on his backside, but he tried his best to ignore it.

"Hey, there's a pole going through the table!" One of the woman shouted.

"_Fate hates me." _Finn thought as the two women next to the bride grabbed him on each side of his collar and began a small tug-of-war.

* * *

Thirty minutes passed. Finn did whatever the women holding the cash asked him to do. It didn't take long for the rest of the women in the bar, including the bartenders, to come over. Even the bitch who threw the beer in his face was cheering, although Finn was certain that was just because it was making the crowd drink, and thus, spend, more.

The pole wasn't even the most humiliating part of the whole encounter. The bitch bartender stood up on the table with him.

"Ever see _Flashdance?" _She asked Finn. He shook his head.

"Sit down and lean back. Shut your eyes." She whispered to him. When Finn did so, he felt her dump two pitchers of cold water all over him. This made the women go wild.

"_Great. Now I'm wet too." _Finn thought. "_Will the judge take the money if it's wet?" _

"I'll hold the proceeds, sugar." Elaine offered. She had taken a step back once the show had gotten started, and stuck with serving booze, a task the other bartenders were content to let her perform.

"_How could this get any worse?" _Finn thought.

"I think you've worn that wet rag long enough, don't you think?" The woman who just wouldn't leave his butt alone told him, grabbing at Finn's shirt.

"It's...it's serving it's purpose." Finn tried to deflect. But the other women capitalized on her suggestion, and soon Finn was surrounded by hands, yanking at him.

Finn sniffed, and saw the twenty in the woman's hand.

"I'm the maid of honor. Which means I'm not married yet. Come on, hot stuff. Give us something for the single women."

Finn watched the woman hand the bill over to Elaine, and he sighed. Finn had only collected a little over a hundred, but he had no idea how much money Elaine was holding. There were a lot of bills, but most of them were crumpled up singles.

"_I've...I've got to keep going. I've got to do this." _Finn cried silently to himself.

* * *

"_This is taking too long." _Daria thought. They were running out of time, and Jane was still stuck in a clink, which was no pleasant place to be, particularly with the members of Mystik Spiral. Daria didn't have much interaction with the band members that were not Trent, but it couldn't have been a pleasurable experience to be stuck in a small cell with four guys who probably thought the word "shower" was just a suggestion.

"Daria!" She heard a voice shout over to her. And there was only one person who would know that she was here besides Finn, and he hadn't left the bar left.

Sure enough, Jane showed up a moment later, the boys of Spiral in tow.

"I tried to call you, but I guess you already left." Jane remarked.

"I was trying to come and get you. Not every one has the same procrastination ideas as you." Daria remarked.

"Hey now, you're as lazy as I am and you know it."

"Not when someone's in jail."

"So what were you doing outside this bar?" Jane asked.

"Sounds like quite a party in there." Trent remarked. "Hey, that's the bar where the chicks dance on it, right? Cool." He remarked to Jesse and Nick.

"Well, to make a long story short, we lost the bail money getting here." Daria informed

"Oh." Jane did not seem bent out of shape by that revelation.

"So Finn's working to make the money back. Hey, why aren't you still in jail?"

"We worked off our debt to society. I gave temporary tattoos and Trent performed at a child's birthday party."

"This child being..."

"Of the sheriff, I think." Jane finished.

"You know, I'm kinda parched." Trent remarked. "I think I could use a beer."

"Plus, it would be cool to see what the party is about." Jesse remarked.

"I wouldn't go in there." Daria cautioned. "Like I said, Finn's working."

"Working? In a bar like...Hey, maybe I should..." Jane started to move to the door, but Daria quickly stopped her.

"You...probably don't want to go in there. I'm going to go in and get him out." Daria remarked. She opened the door, and found that most of the action was over by the table where Finn was working. Finn was still on top of the table. But the sight Daria saw was pitiful. Finn was soaking wet, missing his shirt, and he looked just as miserable as he did when Jake had his heart attack.

"_How can I break up this little party?" _Daria thought. She made her way over to the bartender that had dragged Finn out of the back room. This was her idea, Daria figured. Finn would never propose this idea himself.

"Hey." She called.

"Oh, I know you. You're that girl who came in with Dukey."

"Right..." Daria covered, remembering that Duke Hudson was the name on Finn's fake ID. She also recalled how she thought it was a stripper's name.

"Anyway, we need to get to the sheriff's office to post that bail." Daria expertly construed.

"Oh, sweetie, the crowd's just getting started." The woman remarked. "We're making a lot of money already."

"Do we have enough?" Daria asked.

"Oh yeah, plenty." The woman replied. "We've got over double, actually."

"We do!" Finn, excitedly, jumped down from the table.

"Elaine, I told you to tell me when we were done!" Finn protested.

"But Duke, we've made so much money." The woman, Elaine, replied. "We're doing it!"

"But we need to get our friend out of jail!" Daria replied forcefully. "He's got another obligation."

"Oh!" Elaine was taken aback.

"So give us the hundred and fifty. You can keep the rest." Daria instructed her. "And Duke here needs a shirt and a towel." Even Finn was surprised at Daria's aggressive personality.

"Well, I don't exactly keep men's clothes around."

"A plain T-shirt will be fine. Something that can get us in a convenience store." Daria instructed. Elaine went into the back and returned.

"Here." She offered what Daria requested. Finn quickly dashed to the men's room without a word once he was given them.

"You sure we can't keep him around. I got to keep my job because of him."

"I hope you're proud of that." Daria commented cynically.

"Excuse me?" Elaine dared.

"You only kept your job because you let those women sink their teeth into him. Did you see his face while he was doing that, or were you too busy checking out his ass?"

"Hey, we both needed money, it was the best idea we could come up with." Elaine defended. "And I..."

"And how much of that money goes to him, and how much is the house's cut?" Daria asked.

"Well..."

"He was doing your job, and you were milking him to save your own butt. Now hand over the cash, everything that was Duke's is his. Right now." Daria insisted. Elaine was taken aback, but handed Daria most of the money she had.

"Make tips off your own labor, not his." Elaine had organized the money very efficiently, and Daria was able to hang onto it easily, despite not having pockets or her purse.

"Can we go?" Finn, wearing a shirt that was too small for him, asked.

"Yes. Let's leave."

* * *

Finn's eyes went wide when he noticed that Jane was standing outside the bar.

"_She...she didn't watch that, did she?" _Finn panicked.

"Yo." Jane spoke to him like it was any other day.

'You...you're out!"

"We worked it off at the VFW hall." Jane remarked. "Hey, you're all white."

"It...it's nothing. Daria, can we go home now?" Finn pleaded.

"Yes...yes we can." Daria replied.

* * *

Daria drove the car while Jane rode shotgun. Finn was sleeping in the backseat. Jane glanced back at him every so often.

"So when you guys lost the money, your brother worked for it back? That's pretty noble of him."

"If you can call it that." Daria remarked. "What he did doesn't strike me as that adjective."

"What did he do?"

"Something...he's not proud of."

"Oh." Jane seemed gloomy.

"Well, it was his fault to begin with. If he had been a little more careful with my purse, maybe he wouldn't have had to do anything.

"Wow, Daria, you'll just find any old excuse to blast him, won't you?" Jane remarked.

"Only his recklessness, not what he did to win the money back."

"Daria, maybe I'm not getting the whole story here, but you sat back and did nothing while Finn did...whatever it was that he did just to bail me out of jail?"

"I didn't do nothing." Daria protested. "I was...Look, Finn had a decent handle on the situation, and..."

"Daria, the least you can do is not criticize him for it." Jane lectured. "He is the one who got the job done."

"Well, I guess." Daria sighed glumly.

"Hey, I'm surprised at how you're driving." Jane remarked after some silence between them. True enough, Daria was passing other cars expertly.

"It pays to be confident sometimes." Daria remarked.

"You sound like an optimist." Jane teased.

"Quiet, you."

* * *

Once the Morgendorffer's went back home, Jane decided she was going to stop in. Finn immediately bolted for the shower while Daria went into her room. Jane hung out in Daria's room for a bit, but once she heard the shower shut off, she knew what she wanted to do. She needed to hear the truth straight from Finn.

She pushed her way into Finn's room. He was dressed, and looked to be starting a workout regiment.

"Oh, hey, Jane." Finn tried to smile, but Jane knew something was eating away at him.

"Finn, I never asked about your trip to Fremont. Specifically, what you guys did to win the bail money back."

"The bail money I lost like an idiot." Finn remarked glumly. "God, if I only grabbed that stupid..."

"Finn, I don't care about Daria's purse."

"It's just...well...I'm not proud of it. And I don't want to talk about it. Not even with you. Sorry. It's bad enough Daria was right about being reckless."

"Finn, I can already figure it out. You, covered in water, wearing a shirt that was clearly not yours, and a dozen drunk, horny women? I'm a lot of things, but not dumb." Jane remarked.

"I never said you weren't..." Finn started, but then he sighed.

"So what do you want me to say?" Finn sighed. He looked humiliated and defeated, not that Jane expected anything different. Jane knew just how uncomfortable Finn was being touched. It must have been torture for him.

"Nothing you don't want to say. I just want to say that I'm really happy to have a friend who's willing to go to those extremes just for me."

"Err..." Finn's face turned from white to red quickly enough. "It wasn't just that. I mean, I wasn't going to leave Trent in jail. And I did get to prove Daria wrong. That's always a plus. I mean, well, uhhh...I'd do it if Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie were in jail, too."

"Well, whatever it was, it meant a lot to me. Thanks." Jane smiled at him.

"Well, maybe now I won't feel so dirty." Finn tried to smile.

"Hey, if you feel like talking about it..."

"No." Finn flatly denied.

"Well, I still admire the lengths you'll go, no matter how much you don't like it."

"Hey, it's called stepping up. Some people call it being a man, but it didn't require balls."

"Hey, you stepped up, you really did. You're just as take-charge as, well, your mother."

"And now you had to ruin the moment with profanity." Finn remarked.

"Sorry."

"Look, Jane, I appreciate it. But right now, I think I just want to tire myself out."

"Finn..."

"Jane." Finn stated, then he went to his workout. And Jane sighed again as she left the Morgendorffer home.


	24. A Fish Called Tom

"Hey, you're sure you don't wanna come?" Jane asked Finn as he watched her paint a picture of a crowd of people in a lightning storm.

"Jane, I'm sure your brother's gigs are fascinating, but you know it's not really my thing. Plus, Daria shows up for them." Finn countered. It had only been a few weeks since he and Daria had traveled to Fremont to bail Jane out of jail. The weather was starting to get colder, and he was hanging out with Jane more often than he normally did. The why was easy: he liked to spend time with her. But Jane herself was very reciprocating, and Finn knew why. Finn knew that Jane knew what exactly he pulled to get her money back, and that thought bothered her. Jane was a proud woman, as much as she refused to admit it, and she did not like the idea that Finn did something he despised for her sake.

And Finn couldn't tell her otherwise. Jane was as stubborn as she was proud. Normally, such qualities Finn would find undesirable in any person, but with Jane, there wasn't a problem. She wasn't a bitch about it, for one, like Daria. But she was not without a certain kindness.

"_Again, nothing she'd admit out loud." _Finn thought.

"Well, I guess Daria is going, so things might be weird. And then we have this project to do."

"Project?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to make a multimedia project for O'Neill's. Drawing on a computer is not too bad, but I prefer something live in my hand." Jane looked at her paintbrush.

"Your brush is alive."

"It was made from something that was alive." Jane quickly covered. "Daria's supposed to ask Trent to record some sound for us."

"How much?"

"30 seconds of final product is what we need, so a minute, maybe?" Jane asked.

"And how long do you have to do the project?" Finn asked.

"Two weeks."

"Might wanna get started on that now." Finn remarked. "You know I think your brother's pretty cool, but..."

"No need to pussyfoot." Jane remarked bluntly. Finn admired her bluntness. When she was asked for an honest opinion, she gave it. It was perhaps one of her most admirable qualities.

"Well, I still think he's a pretty good musician. I'm just not into the grunge thing. I guess you'd call it grunge, wouldn't you?"

"Close enough." Jane remarked. "Hey, you doing better?"

"Yeah, of course. Never had a cold." Finn dodged her obvious question. One of the advantages of her attempting to be subtle is that Finn could pretend it went over his head. That usually didn't stop her: she just would ask directly afterwards.

But Jane said nothing.

"Okay." She remarked.

* * *

Finn went home shortly afterwards, with enough time to see Daria leave to head toward Jane's for the concert.

"_Good luck motivating Trent, Daria. You need it." _Finn thought to himself. He flipped on the Pigskin Channel, but found there were no games on that he would need to watch. While Finn liked football, he didn't like to watch it by himself. It was more fun with wings, and a group of friends who supported the same team. There'd be boos and strategy moaning when they lost, and cheers and chest-bumps when they won. Seeing nothing on, Finn decided to head upstairs and put in a good workout. Once he started getting into it, however, there was a knock at his door.

"Enter." Finn stated. The door opened, and his mother stepped in.

"Oh, hello, Mom. Did you need something?" Finn replied. He wasn't in the mood for his mother right now.

"Finn, I just wanted to ask you something. You've been spending a lot of time at Jane's, yes?" Helen remarked.

"Sure, sure." Finn continued his sit-ups.

"Finn, I just want you to know..."

"Mom, we're not screwing. We're not even dating. We're just hanging out."

"Well, Finn, surely you can understand. You're a teenage boy with raging emotions, and an active...well. At any rate, I want you just to be sure that you might think nothing will change if you decide to take things..."

"Mom, nasty!" Finn interrupted. "I'm not having sex. And certainly not with Jane, who's is actually cool. That would just screw everything up. So, don't worry. I go over Jane's, my clothes stay on me. Relax, I'm not dumb." Finn quickly returned his mother's mind to her insult of him.

"Oh, thank God!" Helen stated. Finn returned to his exercise, Helen didn't leave the room.

"You need something else?" Finn asked. He was quite annoyed with his mother now.

"_God, she just thinks the worst of me." _Finn thought. "_So sorry I can't be Daria. Oh wait, I'm not." _Finn chastised her in his mind.

"No, Finn, I just wanted to know how you've been."

"Fine, Mom. How have you been." Finn went through the empty motions of conversation, like he always did with his mother around.

"I'm well, Finn." Finn changed from sit-ups to push-ups.

"Good to know." Finn remarked. He continued to ignore his mother.

"_Why do you bother?" _Finn thought. "_I already know you don't care. I already know you just wanted Daria, and you're putting up with me because it's the law. Just leave me with my dad and I'll be gone soon enough." _

"Alright, Finn." Helen sighed and left the room. Finn did not stop his workout. As he continued his push-ups, hid mind drifted back to what he said about Jane. That he was not dating her. It was true, he wasn't. Finn usually only dated girls he didn't respect. Stacy was the lone exception to the rule, and even a "date" with her wouldn't necessarily be classified as such. It was nothing private, they didn't go to Chez Pierre, or anything like that. They did fun stuff, without the posture and the pretense, or they'd shop together.

Outings with Jane were like that. They would get pizza, or hit the movies. There'd be no kissing or hugging, or anything like that. Jane was too cool to date.

Although the thought of that didn't completely dispel Finn's thoughts. Jane was attractive, in her own way, and, while Finn despised the idea of her seeing him dance and strip for money, it was only because it was a humiliating venture, not because he thought she'd hate him for it.

Indeed, Jane had seen Finn mostly undressed several times now. Jane's house was always very warm in summer, and Finn sweat an awful lot. And, when she came over, she sometimes helped Finn pick out clothes for his dates. She'd never seen him naked, but she had gotten close.

And the thought of seeing Jane naked didn't disturb Finn. In fact, it excited him.

"_But those were thoughts only." _Finn thought. He'd seen Jane wearing a towel, but that was it. He was content with that for now.

"_After all, Daria was ready to kill me when I was decent. If she found out I did anything with Jane, well, that's enough to make me wilt." _

_

* * *

_

Helen sighed as she walked down the hall back to her bedroom. She had a few details to go over with before meeting with the "malpractice" suit, although Helen was convinced the claim was a fake, just another loser wanting to get on the "sue your way to riches" train.

But it was Finn she couldn't stop thinking about. Ever since Jake had his heart attack, they still hadn't spent any time together. Jake's heart attack had come at an inconvenient time, and Helen used up her personal days to take care of him. But after that, she was needed back at the office. She was going to set a record and soon become a senior partner at the firm, and she needed to prove that to the bosses.

But that time spent with Jake was not time with Finn. And Helen knew what her son thought of her, particularly after her faux-pas in insinuating that Finn was stupid. She was letting this fester, just as he did with Daria all those years ago, thinking she was driving the family apart.

But Finn wouldn't make the time for her. While Finn was livid with Daria, played pranks on her and such, Finn was very...cold, to Helen. As if he had given up.

"_Give up?" _Such a concept was foreign to Finn. Helen didn't know much about football, but she knew Finn never gave up when he was on the field. He didn't give up trying to help that Stacy girl, and that took at least six months.

"_Why don't you let me in, Finn?" _Helen thought glumly.

"_Why don't you love me?" _

_

* * *

_

Finn turned in an early night that night, and when he woke up the next day, on a Saturday, the house was eerily quiet. Daria was usually up before Finn was, but now, she wasn't.

"_Oh well, no big loss." _Finn thought with a smile as he got himself ready to face the day. After showering, shaving, eating a light meal, and then finishing the little bit of homework he had, Finn descended the stairs craving some chips. As he got down, though, Daria entered the house.

"Oh, hey, Daria. How's that multimedia project thing going?" Finn asked. Daria had never spoken to him about it, but Jane had told him.

"_Why does O'Neill always give your class the things that are actually interesting." _Finn wondered.

"I don't want to talk about it with you." Daria delivered flatly.

"Whoa, issues. Having a tough time writing?" Finn teased her slightly. Teasing was now the normal reaction between the two Morgendorffer siblings. Although Finn wouldn't admit it out loud, it was a lot better than the fighting.

"No, the writing will be done by Monday." Daria returned. "The problem is...well, I'm not discussing it with you."

"Oh, come on, how bad could it be? Scared Trent won't deliver the music."

"No." Daria denied. "Well, actually yes, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"So shoot. Seriously, you think Jane won't deliver or something?"

"I'm sure she would if it wasn't for Tom." Daria asided.

"Who's Tom?" Finn asked.

"Oh!" Daria was surprised she admitted it. "Some guy that Jane met at the Spiral gig. He's already inviting himself over."

'And what's so bad about that?" Finn asked. "She meets a guy, good for her."

"It's not good!" Daria protested. "But I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"No, I wouldn't expect you. Jeez, Daria, weren't you yelled at for being such a bitch the last time Jane was friends with someone else? I know you were because I did it."

"I don't listen when you yell at me. It's background noise."

"Dammit, Daria, you really are stupid, aren't you?" Finn accused. "Every time Jane meets someone else it's the freaking end of the world."

"You try losing your best friend to some guy."

"What's loss got to do with it. Seriously, Jane's a big girl. She can have more than one friend. People aren't like you, they don't have just one friend and that's it."

"I have more than one friend!" Daria stated.

"If you say so." Finn remarked. "And it might even be true. But I doubt it'll be for much longer if you keep it up like that." A free lecture on Daria was something too important to pass up, and Finn smiled the entire ride through.

"I'm headed out." Finn went back upstairs to get his jacket, and, without another word, ran out the door.

* * *

Finn was craving a slice, so he headed for Pizza Palace, figuring he'd run into one or more of his friends. And, surely enough, he did. But Finn wasn't interested in seeing them the second he noticed Jane was inside the store. She was seated with a man Finn had never met before, and he wondered if this was the Tom that Daria had mentioned with disgust.

"_He seems normal enough. Not radioactive and everything." _Finn thought. Tom was shorter then he was, with brown hair. The clothes he wore were nice, and Finn wondered if he came from money. He looked like he went to fancy prep schools and did all that nonsense crap.

Jane noticed Finn, and immediately waved him over. Seeing his invitation, Finn eagerly strode up towards him.

"Hey, there you are. I was thinking I'd call you." Jane remarked to Finn.

"Hello, Jane. Nice to see you." Finn smiled at her. He then looked towards Tom, and decided to let Jane dispense with introductions.

"Hi, I'm Tom." The man introduced himself, to Finn's surprise. He was definitely a bold one, and Finn respected that, even if it was something as simple as manners.

"Hi, I'm Sky. I'm Jane's little brother." Finn teased.

"Oh?" Tom furrowed his brow.

"He doesn't live in the house. The wolves take care of him." Jane continued the joke.

"Unusual eloquence for a feral child."

"Those lady wolves, they're mean." Finn continued.

"She-wolves might have been a better word." The man returned the joke, much to Finn's surprise, which meant he knew it wasn't the truth.

"_Smart, sarcastic, and witty. Not bad, Jane." _Finn thought.

"Tom, do you remember Daria?" Jane stated. "This is her kid brother, Finn."

"Nice to...meet you." Tom hesitated a bit.

"I'm nothing like Daria." Finn was quick to say. "If you met her, I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to apologize."

"Just like that?" Tom asked.

"I'm used to it." Finn smiled, and took a seat. Jane told the story of how the two of them met.

"You ate that many burgers? Even I can only do three." Finn was amazed at Jane's appetite.

"And so, the only sensible thing to do was to fill her with more grease. There's probably a market for it, if we knew where to look." All three shared in a laugh.

"_I told you there was nothing to worry about, Daria. Such a bitch you are, this guy is actually pretty cool." _

"So, Finn, what do you do for fun?" Tom steered the conversation expertly, leaving neither Finn nor Jane feeling left out.

"I'm an athlete. Right now I do boxing."

"Nice. You any good."

"I had two losses last year." Finn remarked. "To eleven wins. I've been doing it since I was a kid. I love to fight. I also play football, and other sports and activities. What about you?"

"No organized sports, though I hike often."

"Really? I haven't hiked in years."

"Shame." Tom commented.

"Well, we went hiking once as a family, but then we had a bit of a well, crisis."

"Crisis?"

"Yeah, my dad ate the berries." Finn was able to laugh about his excursions camping now, but before was a real nightmare.

"Poisonous?" Tom knew how to ask questions, and Finn liked him even more.

"_I put about twenty pounds of muscle on him, and he could date anyone he wanted, and get all the girls to pay for it." _Finn thought. While he was trying not to be that kind of guy anymore, he could recognize Tom's talents to mirror his own. Although Tom was a lot more sincere about it. Perhaps Tom didn't have much fun going on in his life.

"Yeah, poisonous." Finn answered.

"Burning poisonous or trippy poisonous."

"Trippy." Finn chuckled.

"That must have been terrifying. Or exciting. Or both."

"Hey, you're a pretty cool guy. Next time you go hiking, let me know." Finn smiled.

"Next Thursday." Tom answered expertly.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all." Tom smiled.

"Wow, you guys hit it off right then and there." Jane smiled. "Don't you be stealing him from me, now." She teased Finn.

"Well, he's got big, strong arms..." Tom teased again, and the group found themselves laughing.

"_Wow, this is actually pretty cool. Jane's happy, I'm happy, and I made a new friend really quick. Not bad for your little dumb boy, huh, Mom?" _Finn thought.

* * *

After Pizza Palace, Finn decided to head home and make sure he had everything for a hiking trip. When he got back and saw Daria helping herself to a snack, he then realized he had forgotten all about her when he was at the store with Jane and Tom.

"_Well, there you go." _Finn insulted her in his mind. "_A new, cool guy comes to town, Jane likes him, and all you can think about is yourself. Then again, why am I surprised? Am I suprised? No. Jeez, Daria, it's always all about you, isn't it? You can't give Jane the things she wants from Tom. Well, I mean you could, but Jane's not into that." _Finn laughed to himself as he headed upstairs and found his hiking boots. Lindsay Ottman had given him these when she was trying to score a date with him, just before he told her off at the dance. He hadn't used them much, and now he could.

"_After all, what could be the problem with Tom? He makes Jane happy, and they seem lovey-dovey. Kinda gross, but whatev. I mean, Tom's out with Jane, holding her hand, a kiss every now and then, the hugging. I guess they're dating, It's not just some new friend. So what the hell are you worried about, Daria? You aren't dating Jane. She wasn't dating anyone." _

And Finn didn't realize it at first, but his hands were balling into fists the more he thought of Tom dating Jane.

* * *

The school week passed by rather quickly, and Finn was glad for it. School was never that exciting, and only the games after school made it bearable. After knocking out some upstart from Oakwood in the boxing match on Wednesday, Finn was all set for his excursions out with Tom. Jane had commented she would not be attending: She had been spending all week with Tom, and cleared this time so that she could finish the remaining pieces of that project she was working on with Daria.

"_Speaking of Daria..." _Finn thought as he pushed open the door home and found Daria on the couch. She turned to notice him.

"Finn?" Daria asked.

"Yes?" Finn asked. It was rare when Daria initiated conversation. Unless, of course, she wanted to make a fool out of him.

"You're going out tomorrow with Tom, aren't you?" Daria asked.

"Do you have to make it sound like a date? Yes, we're going hiking. We'll leave once school ends. We still get lots of daylight."

"Is Jane going?"

"No. Aren't you working on that project?" Finn asked.

"I don't need to. I've been done for days."

"Oh? Well, what about Trent?" Finn remarked. "He hasn't started, has he?"

"How did you..."

"I'm not dumb." Finn quickly finished, and Daria shut up.

"Well, I would think that Jane would be the one doing that. Her language arts grade is the one needing the A, not mine."

"Are you just lazy, or are you still pissy about her meeting Tom?" Finn asked.

"That's none of..."

"...My business, yeah. Keep going, broken record." Finn chastised. "Seriously, Daria, why the hell are you so bent out of shape. I met Tom, he's nice."

"Well, roll out the red carpet. He's got the Finn stamp of approval."

"God, Daria, you really are a jealous bitch. It's really quite astounding."

"Now who's the broken record?" Daria asked.

"A broken record can still play the right song." Finn quickly countered.

"You kept the insult going. I'm actually impressed." Daria replied sarcastically.

"Well, whatever. Enjoy getting pizza by yourself, 'cause that's all you'll be doing." Finn criticized before heading into the kitchen. Soon after that, Daria left the house. Was she going to see Jane.

"_If she is, it's not going to be to apologize. She's just going to make things worse for herself by acting all offended at Tom's existence. Oh well, it's your own damn fault. I don't feel bad." _Finn thought.

* * *

About ten minutes later, Finn was finishing a snack in the kitchen when the door opened. He expected it to be Daria, wounded from arguing with Jane over her new boyfriend. Instead, though, it was Helen Morgendorffer.

"Oh, Finn, there you are." She stated.

"Where's Dad?" Finn asked.

"He's meeting a new client at an Italian restaurant, so Jake has to sample some of the product. Sometimes I think that man decided to become a consultant like that just for the free food." Helen remarked to herself. Although that wasn't the case, Finn knew, that was a perk his father rather enjoyed.

"If you're looking for Daria, she went out." Finn remarked. "I guess she's at Jane's."

"Oh well, I guess it's just the two of us, then." Helen remarked. "Sit down, Finn, tell me about your day."

"I won my match." Finn stated. "I'm sure you'd find it boring. What about that errr...mall-practice case."

"That's malpractice, Finn." Helen launched into some details about the case. She was brief about them, explaining it was privileged information and she was not allowed to share the details with anyone at all.

"Finn, are you making plans tomorrow?" Helen asked. "Because I'm going to be finished by the afternoon..."

"I've already made plans, Mom." Finn remarked truthfully. It was very much like his mother to spring surprise "bonding" days like this. They happened about once every two weeks, and it was the only time he saw his mother when she wasn't forcing herself into his room.

"_Yeah, because ten days of barely more than a 'hello' is made up with two hours of intense drilling. If I wanted intense drills, I'd join the Army." _Finn criticized bitterly. Bonding days were always on his mother's terms. She dictated where they went, and what they did. It wasn't real effort, it was just a practiced pretense. The illusion of a happy family.

"_After all, if you really wanted to be supportive, you'd cheer at a boxing match, or just show up, or, I don't know, stop saying I should be like Daria. How hard could it be? Dad does it all the time." _Finn thought.

"Yeah, I'm going hiking at some park to the east. About twenty minutes away."

"By yourself?" Helen asked.

"No, I'm going with Tom." Finn stated. He then realized he did not know Tom's last name. Not that it mattered. There'd be no reason for Finn to use it. He didn't know any other Tom's besides Tom Griffin, Sandi's father, and he was Mr. Griffin.

"Who is Tom?" Helen asked.

"Jane's boyfriend." Finn stood up from the table to get himself a soda.

"Oh, isn't that wonderful. Good for her." Helen remarked. "How long have they been dating?"

"Less than a week." Finn answered. "He's a nice guy."

"Well, you seem to be hitting it off on the right foot." Helen remarked. Finn knew that wasn't praise. It was just another dumb crack.

"And he must make Jane very happy, doesn't he?" Helen asked. The only response was a slight fizzing sound followed by some dripping. Finn looked down at the soda can in his hand, and realized he had squeezed it so hard he punctured the can.

"Damn." Finn threw the can in the garbage as he went to get a washcloth to clean it.

"_Yeah. He makes Jane happy." _Finn thought as he scrubbed the wet spot. "_Does the boyfriend thing, gets to spend all day with her. Jane all eager to spend time with him. Then they do the boyfriend-girlfriend squishy things." _

"Finn, the floor is clean." Helen told him. Finn didn't even realize he was still scrubbing the floor.

"Finn, do you not like this man?" Helen asked.

"No, of course I do. I wouldn't go hiking with him if I didn't." Finn replied truthfully. Why would see get such a ridiculous thought. Well, it went to show just how much she actually did know.

"So, why are you upset?" Helen asked.

"I'm not upset." Finn quickly covered. "I'm headed upstairs. I wanna make sure I have everything for tomorrow, I'm leaving right from school." Finn started to head up to his room. Helen followed him.

"Mom, I'm not upset. Don't worry about it." Finn countered.

"Finn, why don't you talk to me?" Helen asked. "If something is bothering you..."

"Nothing is bothering me." Finn remarked. "But you should talk to Daria. She's the one bothered about everything."

"Why? What's wrong with Daria?"

"Jane has a new boyfriend, Daria's going ballistic, thinks it's the end of their friendship, so she acts like a total bitch. You know, the usual." Finn remarked.

"I'm sure once she gets to know him..."

"She won't do that." Finn remarked.

"Aren't you being a little cruel?" Helen remarked.

"_Take her side. Again." _Finn thought.

"I'm just being honest."

"Finn, she's just a little jealous that someone new came along and is getting more attention. And she's not the only one."

"Excuse me?" Finn remarked. "You think I'm...that's stupid. Why would I be jealous of Tom? Jane and I weren't dating, and we're friends. I can be friends with Jane and Tom both, and they can be friends too. It's not like Daria where she's the only thing in existence."

"Finn, listen to me."

"_Been there, tried that." _Finn thought, his thoughts drowning out the "advice" his mother was going to give. "_I don't listen to people who hate me and don't know me."_

"You know what, I need a canteen. I'm headed over to Joey's to get one." And Finn left his room without another word, not even bothering to wait for Helen's protests.

* * *

Helen sighed as her son left the house. He was probably telling the truth about Daria being upset Jane found a boyfriend. Lord knows she did it when she knew that Finn and Jane were friends. But Finn, jealous of this Tom?

Perhaps he did have a bit of a crush on Jane. Helen didn't know much about the artist, but she was definitely blunt, and the two often spent time together.

"_But she won't tell me the first thing about him." _Jane would not betray Finn to Helen; she had already tried.

"_And Finn still doesn't listen." _Helen remarked glumly. She had tried to tell him that jealousy was normal, and that Finn should focus on his own relationship with Tom, forgetting about Jane entirely. And then it would go away. But Finn wasn't even paying attention to her.

Helen took a seat at Finn's desk and looked at the many pictures on the desk to take her mind off the present. Finn was in most of them, and he looked so wonderfully happy. Helen had only recently been aware that Finn, according to him, had tried endlessly to be the textbook example of a social butterfly so that his parents wouldn't fight, like they did with Daria.

"_Were you ever happy in any of these?" _Helen thought. She reflected upon all of them. She saw those three football friends of his. There was Jodie Landon, and that boyfriend she had mentioned, he was a football player too. There was that Stacy girl. And Jane. Rita and Erin. There was even a small picture of Amy tucked into a larger frame. Helen recalled how Amy chastised both her and Rita at Erin's wedding. Such a display would certainly garner Finn's respect. And, of course, photos upon photos of Jake.

Helen had only planned to look at the pictures for a moment, but she looked over them again and again, and soon came to a realization she never even noticed.

"_I'm not in any of these." _She thought.

* * *

As promised, Tom met Finn outside of Lawndale High. He waved goodbye to his buddies, then stared in amazement at Tom's old car.

"_This is...one fine machine." _Finn remarked sarcastically to himself. Finn recognized the car make as a Ford Pinto, and, if he remembered, it was the most unsafe care in America. Something about it exploding.

"_Fun." _Finn thought.

"You ready?" Tom asked pleasantly.

"Of course." Finn climbed into the backseat, as he noticed Tom had a backpack and a pair of boots sitting in the front.

"So, do you hike often?"

"It gets me away from my family, and it's decent exercise." Tom remarked.

"Gets you...not a fan of your family?" Finn asked.

"Who is?" Tom remarked.

"_Not me." _Finn thought. He did not answer aloud to Tom. There was silence as the two men drove towards this park that Tom knew. During the quiet drive, Tom happily sang along to the radio quietly to himself, while Finn thought quietly.

"_Jealous?" _Finn chastised his mother. "_What the hell is there to be jealous about. Not this car, to be sure. And Tom's a cool guy." _

_

* * *

_

"Tell me a little about yourself, Finn." Tom asked.

"Oh?" Finn was lost in thought, and didn't respond at first.

"Well, I'm a sophomore, gonna be a junior. I play center on the football team. I've got one killer right hook. I'm top dog of my class."

"Jane tells me you date frequently." Tom remarked. His tone was not criticizing.

"Yeah, well. I like to have a good time." Finn chuckled. "Three dates this week, but not today. Today's a guy's night."

"Well, I feel special. I won't put out, though." Tom teased.

"Eww!" Finn remarked. There was more silence.

"_This is pretty normal. I mean, Tom's not like, Jamie or anyone, but he's still pretty cool." _Finn thought. "_What the hell is wrong with you, Finn? You meet a friend who makes you happy, and Jane happy, and he doesn't like Daria. This is like, epic win." _Finn thought.

"Hey, Finn, you're kicking the seat awful hard." Tom commented.

"Oh, sorry. I get antsy when I sit down for long periods." Finn quickly covered.

"_I gotta watch that." _Finn thought glumly to himself.

* * *

Tom took a deep breath when he reached the park.

"Wow, this place is deserted." Finn commented.

"Not many people live around here." Tom answered. "The closest stuff nearby is all commercial. And most people don't go to parks this big."

"Well, more for us, then."

"Got to light out for the territory ahead of the rest. Shall we go?" Tom asked, and the two men started their hike through the forest.

"Huh?" Finn asked.

"It's from Huckleberry Finn_. _You never read that?"

"I don't read much." Finn returned.

"Make time for it."

"That's a Daria thing."

"So you're not a fan of your sister?" Tom asked.

"Well, you've met her. And trust me, she's not any nicer to me."

"Oh. Well, don't not read because Daria does it. That's a little obsessive."

"Hey, not helping." Finn criticized.

"Not helping what?" Tom asked.

"Wow, you really are like Jane. Only she would buck me like that. Except Daria, but she does it to be a bitch," Finn smiled.

"You like that?" Tom stared in disbelief.

"It's refreshing." Finn remarked. "Everyone at school, just follows like a dog when someone throws a tennis ball."

"Well, I don't play fetch." Tom remarked. "But anyway, reading is good."

"I don't have a lot of time. Between dating, sports, and all that, leisure reading just goes on the burner."

"Hmmm..."

"So tell me about you, Tom." Finn asked. "I've just been talking."

"I'm not very interesting." Tom remarked. "My family is not worth mentioning. And you're a casanova and Jim Ringo. Infinitely more interesting."

"Hey, you do know your ball."

"I just know my history." Tom countered.

"Then make up something interesting." Finn teased, and Tom laughed.

"I'll pass."

"Then tell me about you and Jane. That's interesting."

"What about you and Jane?" Tom asked.

"I asked you first." Finn countered.

"Well, as you heard, Jane and I met at a Mystik Spiral gig."

"You guys been hanging out lots."

"Well, what can you expect? She's pretty cool." Tom said a bit wistfully.

"I hear that." Finn's hands started to clench, and he wasn't exactly sure why he asked such a question when he knew it would make him angry. But it was too late to worry about that now.

"Well, she wrote the book on cool. She does anything she wants. She paints her own style, wears what she wants, and it doesn't matter who talks down to her, she'll show up the next day wearing the same thing. Neither spite nor acquiescence."

"Yeah, that is pretty cool." Finn remarked.

"She's awesome to hang around." Tom continued to speak about Jane, and Finn found his hands clenching again. Everything he said was true about Jane. She was pretty cool. Finn couldn't say much about her taste in friends since she was close to Daria and wasn't to some other cool folks, but, in the end, that probably wouldn't serve very well.

"_So, why am I her friend,, and you her boyfriend? I'm stronger then you, faster. Handsomer. And Jane doesn't care about brains. If she did, well, she would have dated many of the geek squad." _Finn clutched Joey's borrowed canteen so tightly, he was scared he'd puncture it like he did the soda can yesterday. But he couldn't loosen his grip.

* * *

The hike continued in silence as Tom took things off the trail. Finn and Tom climbed a very steep incline.

"You really like doing stuff like this?" Finn asked. "You're not sticking to the trail?"

"I'd rather make my own trail then set out on the one someone left for me." Tom did not look at Finn when he said that.

"Hey, that sounds like a story." Finn remarked.

"I'd rather not go into it." Tom remarked.

"Oh, come on, how bad could it be."

"You haven't met my family. They're...different."

"So what, family sucks." Finn remarked. "Well, not my dad. My dad's awesome. And there's some extended relatives. But my mom and sister? No way, no chance."

"You don't like your mom?" Tom asked.

"Hey, you're not going into your whole family, I'm not going into that." Finn remarked.

"I don't not like my family, it's just...a different world that I want no part in. I can tolerate it, but not if I have a choice. That's all I'll say about it." Tom let the rest of the topic drop, and that suited Finn just fine.

"Oh, it looks like rain." Finn remarked. The two men continued on their hike, and, although the clouds made things colder, it didn't actually rain yet.

* * *

"Hey, Finn, can I ask you something?" Tom asked one the two men reached ground that was relatively level.

"Just ask. No need for formality."

"Did you ever date Jane?" Tom asked.

"Huh? No." Finn replied. "We're just friends."

"Yeah, that's what you said, but...whenever I start talking about Jane, you always get so...tense."

"I'm not tense." Finn tried to deflect.

"Finn, you nearly snapped that branch in half." Tom remarked. Finn had grabbed a tree for some balance, and, sure enough, he was nearly two steps away from snapping it.

"Errr..."

"I mean it, Finn."

"And so do I." Finn returned. "I've never dated Jane."

"So, what is it?" Tom pressed. "Look me in the eye and tell me." Finn sighed.

"I guess...well, I'm a little..." Finn didn't want to use the word. Stating it out loud would mean admitting that his mother was right, even though Tom would not have been privvy to Helen Morgendorffer's conversations.

"Finn, you're worried for nothing. Jane talks about you all the time." Tom remarked.

"Huh?"

"She tells me about you all the time." Tom informed him. "She thinks you're pretty awesome."

"Err...well. I...I guess I owe you an apology. God damn it, what the hell is wrong with me. I don't do this sort of thing. That's not me." Finn moaned. "That's what Daria does."

"Don't worry about it." Tom shrugged.

"No, I do worry about it. Damn it, you make Jane happy and I get all pissy. Jesus Christ, I suck."

"Well, then, let's move past it." Tom replied.

"Yeah." Finn smiled. "Yeah, let's do that." And just like that, Finn's jealous thoughts dissipated. Jane's decision was Jane's decision, and Finn could respect that. Tom was a pretty cool guy, he was friends with Finn, and he made Jane happy. That was all Finn needed to care about.

And then the rain started, and Finn remembered, at Erin's wedding, when that snarky groomsman, whoever he was, said that rain was a symbol of divine providence. Finn laughed because he didn't believe in that sort of stuff, yet this was uncanny.

* * *

Getting back to Tom's car was not easy. They had to go back the way they came, and the wet ground made it hard to get a grip. More then once, either Tom or Finn slipped and tumbled down the slope. But they were always caught by the other. Every time it happened, Finn laughed. Just twenty minutes ago, he was treating Tom nearly as bad as Daria, and he had done nothing wrong.

"_Guess it goes to show who's better." _Finn chuckled.

"Hey, you gotta towel or anything?" Finn asked once they reached Tom's car.

"No need. It's just mud." Tom chuckled. "I'm glad I taped up the rust spots."

"Why do you drive that car?"

"Because it's mine." Tom mentioned. If there was a hidden subtext in that message, Finn didn't get it.

* * *

The two men laughed on the way back to the Morgendorffer residence. Finn invited Tom inside, but he declined it. Finn opened the door chuckling.

"Oh, Finn!" Helen was seated on the couch looking at something, but it was too small for Finn to make out. "You're...completely covered in mud." She commented.

"Yeah, hiking in nature plus rain gives you mud." Finn remarked. "Don't worry, I took my shoes off on the porch. I'll try not to track any." Finn remarked. "I need a shower." Finn, shoes in hand, carefully made his way towards the stairs.

"Hold on a moment, Finn." Helen remarked. Finn paused.

"Mom, I really don't wanna stand around covered in mud." Finn protested.

"Just a second." Helen showed her the thing she was looking at on the couch.

"I was looking through some old boxes and I found this." She was holding a very old picture. The only occupants of the picture were Finn and Helen, and Finn was maybe five. It was a very cute picture, and both were smiling.

"Where's Dad?" Finn asked.

"He took the picture." Helen remarked. "This was back in Highland. Oh my, it's been ten years."

"Yeah, the 80's is going to be apologizing for those hairstyles forever." Finn cracked. His mother did not reply.

"Anyway, I gotta get cleaned up. Think I'll head over to Jane's later. Bye." Finn moved quickly away from his mother, and up the stairs.

* * *

Helen sighed once she was alone. It took her a lot of time to find a picture that perfect to show Finn: one of just the two of them looking happy. They didn't have any recent ones at all. Of course, with Helen's job and Finn's extracirriculars, they didn't meet together enough. And during their free time, Finn avoided her.

And Finn just blew it off. Them being happy together made no difference to him.

"_He shows up in a good mood and he doesn't want to share it with me." _Helen thought. She supposed it meant he worked things out with Tom. But not with her. They had argued the previous day, and it lead to Finn leaving the house in anger. And now he didn't care about it. As if he treated it as background noise.

"_Has...has he forgotten all about me?" _Helen sighed as she looked at the picture again, and wished she could grab the boy inside and hold him for dear life.


	25. Captain, My Captain

It was an exceedingly rare week when Finn did not stop by Lawndale Mall. His reasons for doing so was as varied as his wardrobe, but today, his reason was simple: His father's birthday was coming up, and Finn was past the age of the pipe cleaner craft project. Golf clubs were out of his price range, but Finn had a few creative ideas to surprise his father.

"_My favorite game." _Finn thought with a smile. He only had so much money to spend, so Finn tried to make things more exciting with presentation. One time, he had assembled an ensemble he bought around a "mannequin" made from balloons.

"_Maybe I could ask Jane for...hey, is that Kevin?" _Finn thought as he watched Kevin, with Brittany wrapped around him, walking down towards the food court.

"Hi, Finn!" Brittany cheered excitedly, as she always did whenever she met him. At his own insistence, Finn did not associate with Brittany and Kevin on a regular basis, and, with the latter, never off of the field. Brittany still had not given up the idea of cheating on Kevin with Finn, and Finn didn't want Kevin to get the wrong idea. As for Kevin himself, while Finn did not normally care about people's intelligence, he had his limits. Kevin possessed the intellectual fortitude of a piece of pie, and was just as flaky.

"Oh, hello, good afternoon." Finn engaged the two pleasantly whenever they addressed him. Manners prevented him from simple ignoring them.

"Have you noticed anything different, bro?" Kevin asked.

"Are you referring to that leather jacket?" Finn asked. Kevin practically wore his Lawndale Lions uniform everywhere he went, and now he was wearing a black leather jacket overtop.

"Was that a gift?" Finn asked, wishing the two would just go back to their normal position of making out in public.

"Naw, man, it's a statement!" Kevin cheered.

"We're rebelling!" Brittany eagerly agreed.

"Against what?" Finn asked.

"Huh?" Brittany twirled her hair around her finger.

"When you rebel, you take a stand against something. That's what it means." Finn instructed, wondering how in holy hell the two of them couldn't even know that. Even Finn knew that.

"Ummm...We're rebelling against..." Kevin started looking frantically around.

"_Don't strain yourself on my account." _Finn thought.

"Anyway, you might want to reconsider wearing that with your uniform pants. It makes you look like you weigh fifty pounds more than you do." Finn remarked, although that wasn't entirely a bad thing. Kevin only looked big because of his uniform's shoulder pads. Without them, he was scrawnier then Finn was.

"You'll think it's cooler when I get my motorcycle!" Kevin stated.

"You're getting a bike?" Finn asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"Yeah, I mean, Daria said we can't have a jacket like this without a motorcycle." Brittany remarked. Finn could only think of a few things that would happen with Kevin Thompson on a bike, and almost all of them ended with a visit to the hospital. If he was lucky.

"I didn't know you knew how to drive stick." Finn remarked.

"Huh?" Kevin asked.

"Motorcycles. They're manual transmission." Finn informed. "You know, if you don't know how to..."

"Hey, my dad showed me how to do that." Kevin returned.

"Kevin, I'm not trying to insult you, I'm trying to tell you not to get a motorcycle just because you bought a motorcycle jacket."

"But we can't return it!" Brittany stated. "_Gimme Some Skin _doesn't accept returns!"

"So you're going to buy a motorcycle to compliment your jacket?" Finn asked.

"_And Mom thinks I have wardrobe issues." _Finn thought.

"Yep! Isn't it rebellious!" Brittany cheered.

"You know, you still haven't told me what you were against." Finn remarked.

"Ummm...just the rules, man!" Kevin stated quickly.

"Which rules?"

"All of `em. Rules are lame. I do what I want to do."

"_And yet, you're buying a motorcycle because Daria told you. It's so funny, it hurts." _Finn thought.

"Well, we gotta get to the store before it closes!" Arm in arm, Brittany and Kevin wandered off.

"_They'll forget about it soon enough." _Finn thought. Probably once they passed the jewelry store, and Brittany saw the latest necklace she always wanted. And Kevin? Well, jewelry was remarkably shiny.

* * *

But Finn's assertion proved incorrect the next day, when, as he waited in front of Lawndale High for Stacy, he heard the metallic whir of a motorcycle. Sure enough, Kevin and Brittany soon rode up in a motorcycle.

"_And he actually rode in well enough?" _Finn was amazed. He knew where Kevin lived, and the fact that he made it from home, to Brittany's, and to school was an accomplishment. Perhaps he did know how to drive one. Finn strode up to meet the two, where a small crowd started to assemble.

"Finn!" Brittany cheered. "Don't we look like rebels?"

"_In pink sunglasses?_" Finn wondered. The motorcycle Kevin was driving reminded Finn more of a motorized scooter then a true motorcycle. They didn't look like rebels, they looked like two gullible teenagers on a motorcycle.

"_I just hope you don't try to make out while riding." _Finn thought.

"So, you got a bike." Finn remarked. He was certainly not impressed with Kevin's bravado. Or the fact that he wasn't wearing a helmet. Motorcycles were not like cars. There was no airbag or seat back for protection. Kevin didn't obey speed limits anymore than Finn did. One accident, and he would be gone. And Finn didn't wish that. While Finn did not like practically anything about Kevin, he wished him no harm. Kevin was too oblivious to be heinous.

"Hey, what's this?" Mack, along with Joey, Jamie, and Jeffy, strode up to discover what a crowd had gathered for.

"Yo, Mack Daddy!" Kevin always had a different way of talking to Mack, something Finn knew the captain despised. And, despite what anyone said, Kevin just wouldn't listen.

"Yo, dude, pop a wheelie!" Joey asked eagerly. Finn's eyes went wide at his buddy's suggestion.

"I wouldn't..." Finn started, but his protests were immediately drowned out by Jeffy.

"Yeah, wheelie!" Jeffy cheered.

"Wheelie! Wheelie!" Jamie eagerly joined in, which was quickly followed by the other members of the crowd, minus Finn and Mack.

"Kevin, don't!" Finn protested. "You're just going to get hurt."

"What, you jealous, Finn? Jealous I'm more rebellent?" Kevin did not appreciate Finn's suggestion.

"I'd listen to him, Kevin." Mack cautioned.

"I'll be fine, Mack Daddy. Wheelie time!" Kevin eagerly drove off down the street to get enough speed.

"I'm going to get the school nurse." Mack told Finn as he went away from the crowd.

"But no one...oh, you mean you're getting a head start." Finn realized. "Good luck." Mack smiled before departing towards the school.

The loud whirring noise of Kevin's motorcycle started down the street, and Finn wondered whether or not he should actually watch this. He knew this would end poorly. He silently criticized his buddies' desire to see Kevin pop a wheelie, even though Finn knew Kevin was really to blame for deciding to actually do this stupid stunt.

For a second, Finn wondered, if, maybe, this wouldn't end as badly as he thought. Kevin was able to drive the motorcycle, after all. Perhaps he did know how to pop a wheelie. Perhaps Kevin, while not bright at all, could handle some basic functions. He did just fine on the football field.

Kevin drove in sight. He swerved his motorcycle onto the sidewalk to avoid a parked car, and Finn was certain, at that moment, that the promised wheelie would not be performed. And that was at best.

Finn was about to shout for everyone to get back, but before he could, Kevin's motorcycle came in front of the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree. The motorcycle crashed into the trellis around it, and Kevin flipped over the handlebars, right on top of the tree. The little sapling was crushed under Kevin.

"Agh! My knee!" Kevin moaned as he clutched his leg in pain. The crowd stood in shock and watched as Kevin whined in pain.

"Well, is someone going to do something. Go call an ambulance!" Finn ordered the crowd, who dispersed under his instruction. Finn sighed as he turned towards Kevin. Finn decided against trying to assist him himself: Finn knew nothing of first aid, and would only make things worse.

Mack showed up a few minutes later with the school nurse. He took one look at Kevin, and left the nurse to her work. The captain and the center shrugged for a moment before walking back into the school.

* * *

Kevin was carted away in an ambulance just before school started. Finn knew that Kevin wasn't going to be in any serious danger, and probably didn't need an ambulance anyway, Ms. Li would certainly not allow the possibility of the school getting sued.

"_Hmmm..." _Finn thought. There were some tough games coming up in the next few weeks, and Kevin's injury hinged on his ability to play. Finn didn't know the second-string quarterback well, but these next few games determined whether or not Lawndale would compete in the Regional Championship, and then, State. This was too important to trust to someone of B-quality. The team actually had a good shot at that this year, and, Finn had been getting psyched about it. The victory was nice, but nothing made his father happier then seeing Finn win a prestigious or challenging game.

Finn surprised himself a little that he wasn't thinking more of Kevin. True, his injury was practically self-inflicted due to his own stupidity, but it was an injury nontheless. But the ambulance people and the hospital had him. They were better at that stuff than Finn was. He could think about other things.

* * *

There was a practice after school today, and unsurprisingly, Kevin was not there to participate. Finn asked Coach Gibson if he had news, but the man did not.

Mack started throwing passes to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, who were admirable receivers. But Finn knew that Mack hesitated a lot when he threw. He was begging to get sacked. Jeffy threw the ball back, but he threw it too far, and Finn ended up scooping up the ball first.

"Go long!" Finn instructed Jamie. Jamie ran deep, and Finn threw the ball long.

"Hey, nice throw!" Mack praised as Jamie caught the ball.

"Thanks. But without a catch, what is it?" Finn remarked.

"Incomplete." Mack returned, and the two men shared a quick chuckle. The ball returned to Finn, and he took over throwing passes to his buddies. Finn concentrated on throwing and catching the football, and the rest of the world faded away from him. He didn't want to think about Kevin's stupid blunder, or that he could have been seriously hurt and not known about it.

Finn was no good at those things. He knew this for a fact. This was just like Tommy Sherman's death. He didn't like to think about things like that. He just wanted to do what he did best.

* * *

Brittany called Finn a little after practice. He was initially surprised that she had his number, but she probably got it from another member of the team. Maybe Mack, who knew that Finn was curious about Kevin's injury.

"The doctor said it was a sprained knee." Brittany remarked.

"_Okay. Nothing serious." _Finn thought. Sprained knees sucked, but there were a part of what happened in football.

"He's going to be on crutches and everything. And crutches are so clunky. They just get in the way when Kevvy and I are making out!"

"Brittany, I really don't need to hear about you and Kevin making out." Finn remarked.

"_I get enough of that just by seeing it in public." _Finn thought.

"So will Kevin be ready for the game this Thursday?" Finn asked.

"I said so, but Kevvy said now he watches _Touched By An Angel." _Brittany's voice squeaked.

"What does that mean?" Finn asked.

"I don't know!" Brittany squealed.

"Listen, Brittany, I gotta go. I'll talk to Kevin tomorrow." Finn hung the phone up. As he figured, Kevin's injury was not severe. But, from what little he could gather from Brittany, Kevin was really upset about it.

This didn't surprise Finn: Kevin had a bad habit of blowing things out of proportion, particularly about himself. Quarterbacks always were a bit larger then life, and Kevin was no exception. Completely full of himself, but thankfully, not as bad as Tommy Sherman.

But if Kevin refused to play, for whatever reason, there was going to be problems with the team. And when the team failed, things didn't go well elsewhere. The people at the mall treated the players differently when they were winning and losing. Negotiating good deals and haggling for merchandise only worked when the team did well.

"_I mean, I guess I can't force Kevin to do anything. Maybe I'll get Mack's help on this one. He knows Kevin better than me." _

_

* * *

_

Kevin was back in school tomorrow, when Finn asked Jane between classes. Finn made it a point to walk by Kevin's locker between every class. Eventually, Finn found him, without his uniform and with crutches, talking with Mack.

"_That's not a good sign." _Finn thought. Kevin wore his uniform everywhere; football defined him. That he wasn't wearing it could only mean one thing.

"You gotta play, man." Mack was stating to Kevin. And that was an even worse sign.

"What's going on?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"It's over, Finn." Kevin moped. "The team doesn't need a guy with one good knee."

"Kevin, you just sprained it. You can still play."

"How am I supposed to play with this bad knee?" Kevin remarked. Finn did agree that a knee injury would have affected Kevin's game, particularly on running plays, but that didn't mean he needed to give up completely. All the players risked injury on the field to begin with. It's not like Kevin's knee would get any worse.

"Okay, maybe you need some rest, but you don't need to quit the team. Your knee with heal really quickly. Enough to get you back moving again." Finn remarked.

"Just give it up, Finn. It's over. The only sports I'll be playing are the ones in video games."

"Kevin, you act like you've got cancer or something. Chill out!"

"Hey, I might have a sprained knee, but I can still..." Kevin became incensed and brought his fists up to bear. Doing so, however, caused Kevin's crutches to clatter to the ground. Without them, he quickly lost his balance.

Finn sighed as Mack helped Kevin to his feet.

"Maybe you should stop until the painkillers wear off." Mack instructed Finn.

"Or until he takes them." Finn returned. Mack did not smile. Finn turned around and walked down the hallway again.

"_Great. Now I'm all mopey too." _Finn sighed as he thought of his abysmal failure trying to convince Kevin to remain on the team.

Finn couldn't concentrate on his next class, but at least it was Mr. O'Neill, who was probably already doing his own mopey little whining. Between Kevin's fatalistic whining, which bothered Finn more then he thought it would, and his concern about the future of the football team, Finn couldn't care less about F. Scott Fitzgerald, or that book he wrote about the 1920's.

As Finn walked down the hallway, he wondered what Mack would do to keep the team's spirits high. Finn did not know Mack as well as some of the other members of the team. But Mack was a good captain. While Finn was the one who picked out the defense's flaws, and would adjust the plays accordingly, the plays themselves came from Mack and Coach Gibson. They had invented manuevers Finn had never seen done before, and taught the team to use tricky moves Finn thought existed in theory only.

With Kevin on the bench, Mack would be in the quarterback's shoes, probably. And Mack had his problems there. People were always harder on the captain, the leader, than on anyone else.

Mack was too good a person to be blamed for such a thing. While Finn knew Mack was infinitely the person most frustrated with Kevin, the two of them had a friendship, and his friend being injured was going to be hard on him. If the team started losing, that would just make the awesome Mad Mack feel worse.

Finn resolved to do his best on the field at the game. He would do whatever it takes to cheer the team up. Maybe Mack could get Kevin to come back if he wasn't worried about the team losing.

* * *

When the game came on Thursday, Kevin didn't even bother showing up, and the entire team was down once they realized it.

Both Mack and Finn tried to motivate the team. The two of them pulled every motivational line they could think of. They tried to say that Kevin was in the stands, and was rooting for the team's victory. They tried to say that Kevin was with them in spirit. Finn kept quiet about the idea that the team could actually perform more complicated, tricky moves to bluff the defense now that Kevin was gone. Nothing seemed to work. But when Oakwood pulled ahead by two touchdowns, and the Lions hadn't scored even one simple field goal, Finn started to wonder whether or not morale was the problem. Mack was substituting for Kevin, but Mack's problem of carefully chosing who to throw to caused him to get sacked. A lot.

"I'm sorry, guys." Mack would always say whenever he got sacked.

"This is really bad." Finn remarked. "We need to think of something fast." Halftime had come around, so the team finally had some time to get into some real strategy. Finn made his way over to Coach Gibson and Mack, where the substitute quarterback was being chewed out by Coach Gibson.

"Hey, come on, Coach, why don't we yell later. What are we going to do on the second half."

"We do get the ball." Mack replied. "Let's figure out a strategy."

"Here's the problem." The coach scowled angrily. "Everytime you throw, you get sacked." While the coach was exaggerating, Finn knew he wasn't wholly imprecise. The sacking was the only problem Lawndale really had. The defensive line was still performing up to par.

"Oakwood's got great defense against rush plays." Finn remarked. He knew this from all the previous games they had played. "We aren't going to be able to get through those guys." Finn remarked.

"Our passing game is pathetic." The coach remarked.

"They are always on Jeffy, true. But you know something, their defense on Jamie is lacking. They like to play four-three. So if we use a five-wide formation..."

"Finn, have you lost your mind?" Mack interrupted. "It's hard enough to choose a target to throw to. We want to lose our extra backs for that?"

"No, it's a fantastic idea. With the right quarterback, we can make a lot of progress. Oakwood won't be able to cover them all."

"It could work, but we're not doing so well on forward passing." Mack remarked.

"Correction, you're not doing well on forward passing." Coach Gibson remarked. "Finn, you're going to be the quarterback."

"What!" Both Finn and Mack were surprised.

"You can throw well enough." Coach Gibson remarked. "And you're better at spotting where the gaps lie in the team. So, here's your chance, hotshot."

"I appreciate..." Finn started, but halftime was starting to end. He had no more time to protest.

"Go on, Finn. Do it!" Coach Gibson instructed.

"Oh. Wow. Hey, Mack..." Finn started to apologize to his teammate.

"We have a game to play." Mack remarked, and Finn detected a slight bitterness in his voice. Sighing, Finn put his helmet back on.

* * *

"And with the half ending, Lawndale is down fourteen points." Upchuck, who provided commentary for all the football games, started on his commentary. The Lions managed to gain some impressive yardage from the punt, but the true test of Finn's strategy would come once they were on their first down.

"And what's this? It seems our Lions have changed coats. Our replacement quarterback, Mad Mack, is being replaced himself by the ferocious Finn Morgendorffer. What tricks is this center going to be pulling?"

Finn tried to ignore everything else and concentrated on Oakwood's line. Mack took Finn's position as the center. That team did not deviate from their four-three lineup, and Finn knew exactly what he was going to do.

"Red 15!" He shouted, even though it was the center, not the quarterback, who shouted out such calls. Old habits died hard, it seemed. Mack turned around and looked back at him briefly before hiking the ball. In a fast move, the wide receivers and tight ends took off down the field. Finn scouted around the field and saw exactly what he wanted. While Oakwood, treating Finn as though he was the hesitating Mack and tried for a blitz, Finn was already throwing the ball towards Jamie, who was as open as church on a Sunday. The ball arced gracefully through the air. Jamie started to run towards the ball, and expertly caught the throw.

"And what's this!" Upchuck cheered excitedly. "It seems our new quarterback has thrown a 30 yard pass on his very first try." Jamie covered some pretty good distance before he was tackled. But the entire team was reinvigorated by Finn's throw. The stands were on fire, the cheerleaders regained their bounce. Even Ms. Li, who usually attended the football games with a dour look on her face, was applauding the throw.

The team was excited too. But Finn had no time for celebrations. They needed to get those touchdowns quickly. There was no time for field goals or celebrations.

* * *

Oakwood had a difficult time adapting to the five-wide formation. They were used to Kevin, who, like his idol Tommy Sherman, liked to run in the plays himself. The fact that someone else could have an entirely new strategy seemed almost foreign to them. When they tried to cover Jamie more, Finn simply threw the ball to Joey, one of the team's normal wide receivers. When they covered him, Finn threw to Jeffy, another wide receiver. Oakwood simply didn't have the manpower to cover everyone at once. And Finn, whose original position as center, who spent his time checking for such gaps to call out, knew exactly what the other team thought he would do. With so many targets to throw to, it was easy to get a touchdown.

"And Finn Morgendorffer leads the team to a touchdown!" Upchuck called from the commentator booth.

"Lawndale, Lawndale!" Brittany was leading the cheerleaders in an invigorating chant, even though that normally just meant calling out the school's name over and over. The cheerleading team needed to hire some poets or something.

"Well done!" The team was cheering.

"You're awesome, Finn!" Joey cheered. Finn smiled. He felt good when the team won. But Mack said nothing to him at all.

"_There's no way he's jealous. Mack isn't like that." _Finn thought. While Mack did enjoy playing a prank or two on Kevin, or a highbrow insult to him, that was common among, well, everyone at Lawndale. Even the freshman wailed on his legendary ignorance. Mack was a great guy in many ways, and he would never share in such a base emotion as jealousy. He was absolutely not like Daria.

By the end of the third quarter, Lawndale had managed to get both another touchdown and a field goal once Finn realized they wouldn't have the time to get a second one. The cheering of the crowd was infectious, and soon the entire crowd was calling his name. Finn could see his father, with two large pennants, cheering even more loudly than he normally did. And that reinvigorated Finn, and made him rack his mind even more to keep the one-up on Oakwood.

* * *

The game ended 31-14 with a Lawndale victory. Finn was still surprised he managed to run in that last touchdown. Oakwood had finally started to get wise to the five-wide, and planned for it, but Finn quickly reasoned that using the ace formation would be effective, since they'd expect a pass anyway. And, sure enough, they performed to expectations, and Finn managed to squeeze out one more touchdown. From there, it was simple enough to run down the clock.

Inside the locker room, the entire team was jovial. Finn was getting handshakes, pats on the back, and one-armed hugs from many different people. And Finn was happy for he felt as though he earned it.

"Finn, come in my office." Coach Gibson instructed before Finn even changed out of his uniform. Finn entered to see both Mack and the Coach together.

"Finn, you were absolutely incredible on the field today." Coach Gibson praised.

"Um...thanks!" Finn smiled.

"You managed to pull victory from certain defeat. And you knew how to crush those Oakwood bastards! Finn, from now on, you're our quarterback until Kevin gets back. And maybe for longer, if you keep this up."

"Really? Well, uhhh...wow!" Finn was a little sheepish.

"Aren't we jumping the gun on this, Coach?" Mack asked. "Kevin's knee is only sprained. I'm surprised he isn't back now."

"Mister MacKenzie, there's no need to rain on your teammate's parade." The Coach replied. "Can't you be happy for this victory?"

"I am." Mack replied. "But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Yeah, Finn, you pulled some pretty sweet moves out there, but..."

"I don't think you should be criticizing, Mack." Coach Gibson lectured. "After all, Finn wasn't the won making us lose."

"Now, Coach, isn't that a little..." Finn started.

"Keep this up, Finn, and there will be more for you then just quarterback. I can smell that State trophy. And maybe you'll be our new captain."

"Whoa!" Finn was so surprised, he could barely get out his exclamation.

"What about me, Coach?" Mack did not seem pleased.

"Do you really need to ask, Mack?" Coach Gibson remarked. "The team's a winner because of Finn." And Coach Gibson left his office.

Finn knew that Coach Gibson took football seriously. Indeed, the entire town did. Victory and defeat spread to every resident.

"Mack..." Finn started, hoping to clear the air with his teammate.

"Finn, you don't need to apologize. We both know he was just acting up." Mack replied.

"Oh. Well, good." Finn smiled. "I mean, I didn't want you to think I was trying to, you know..." Finn had absolutely no desire to usurp the position of captain from Mack.

"I mean, just because you sucked today doesn't mean you're a bad captain." Finn chuckled. Mack, however, did not seem amused by that.

"Oh, I mean, uhhh..." Finn stuttered, but was really uncertain about what to say. He didn't want to offend Mack, but, the truth did stand. Mack sucked as a quarterback. He was bad at throwing, he knew this before the game, and yet, the team went on the whole first half without fixing it. What the reason was, Finn didn't know. But blame for that rested on Mack's shoulders.

"Thanks, Finn." Mack remarked sarcastically before walking out the office.

"_Dammit. And blame for that is all me." _Finn thought.

* * *

"And there's my little quarterback, yeah!" Jake cheered when Finn returned home following the game. Jake was seated on the couch reading the newspaper, but it was clear to Finn that Jake was only just passing the time until Finn got home. Probably because he was holding the paper upside-down.

"Thanks, Dad." Finn chuckled sheepishly. Praise from his father was common, but it always embarrassed Finn each and every time. Probably because it meant so much to him.

"And to think I started you on...hey, honey!" Jake noticed the door opening, and Helen Morgendorffer, her hands full of files.

"Oh, hello!" Helen remarked.

"You'll never guess what you missed at Finn's football game today. They made him the quarterback. And he won!"

"Well, that's fantastic, Finn." Helen remarked.

"My first well, I guess you'd call it official quarterback game is next Monday." Finn instructed. "I hope you guys will come."

"Yeah, no sweat, Finn!" Jake cheered.

"Oh. Well, I wish you had told me earlier. Eric is having a meeting." Helen remarked.

"_Of course." _Finn thought bitterly. "_Tell me you're so sorry. You don't care. It's not important to you. But if Daria was winning some writing girl award, you'd use a vacation or a sick day or something." _It was just like his mother to ruin the mood.

"Well, I'm gonna go call Aunt Rita." Finn went upstairs to his room.

"_She comes to more games than you, anyway." _Finn thought.

* * *

Finn was greeted with more cheers and appreciation then he usually got. But Finn tried to ignore it. He wanted to set the record straight with Mack. He found his comrade putting his books away in his locker.

"Hey, can we talk?" Finn asked.

"Sure." Mack seemed pleasant, but he always seemed pleasant. Finn had no idea if he had insulted him.

"Listen, I didn't mean to..." Finn started to apologize. He couldn't worry if the comment actually insulted the man later. But, before he could get the comment out, a group of freshman girls cheered in delight at seeing Finn.

"Thank you, thank you, but I really need to talk to my friend here. Another time?" Finn turned his flirting charms on, and the girls quickly departed.

"Mack, I didn't mean to be mean yesterday." Finn got out.

"Hey, it's okay. I've heard it from the rest of the school already. I might as well hear it from you."

"Mack, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want my stupid insult to get in the way of our friendship." Finn stated, but then another group came to greet Finn. These were a group of guys in Finn's own grade. Members of the lacrosse team, if he remembered.

Finn tried to brush them off, but they were persistent, and it took a remarkable amount of effort to be rid of them.

"Okay, so, Mack..."

"I'm not angry, dude." Mack returned. "If the coach wants to change the captain, he can do that. The team will probably vote for you. It's not going to offend me."

"Oh, come on, no one's that well adjusted." Finn noted.

"Finn, my life doesn't revolve around football." Mack replied. "And I'd still be on the team. It's about what's best for the team. You know that as well as anyone."

"But Mack, I don't want things to..."

"There's nothing bad between us. You made a stupid crack and you owned up to it." Mack returned. "I'm just glad you stepped up and lead the team to victory. I'm not ashamed to admit you did a better job than me."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad...that things are cool." Finn remarked.

"You would make a good captain." Mack remarked. "To tell the truth, I always figured you'd be the one to be the captain. I just figured I'd appoint you when I graduated."

"Oh, well." Finn started to blush. A compliment from Mack was not won easy.

"You have a lot of influence with the team." Mack remarked. "You should be a leader more often."

"Well, I...I try to come up with some good strategy."

"That's not what I meant." Mack remarked before heading down the hall.

* * *

Aunt Rita expressed her willingness to attend the game next Monday.

"I was planning on seeing Ralph, that actor, up in New York, but I can reschedule that." Rita remarked. "Your first quarterback game."

"Well, officially." Finn returned. "But I'm glad you're coming, Aunt Rita."

"I'm glad too. I've got to get going. I'll watch at the game, see you after."

"Count on it." Finn was ecstatic. He returned to his desk. Finn did not own many books, but he did have a few on football strategy and impressive plays, and he was determined to know them as best as he could.

"_How did Kevin manage to perform without these?" _Finn thought. Kevin's idea of strategy was that he always got the ball and did whatever the hell he wanted with it. He usually did pretty good at handing the ball off to the proper person, but not always. Relying on Kevin's intelligence was not the smartest thing Finn had ever heard, but he was the quarterback. He received the ball on almost every play. Like it or not, he was a part of that.

* * *

There was a knock on his door. Without asking for a command, the door opened and in stepped Finn's mother.

"Yes?" Finn asked. "I gotta get to work on these..."

"Finn, when is that game?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"Oh? Well, it's at the school, and it starts at 6." Finn answered. His mother nodded, but said nothing else.

"Were you planning on coming?" Finn tried to hide the hope in his voice.

"Well, I do have that meeting." Helen commented.

"_Well, what else?" _Finn thought dryly.

"Okay." He returned to strategy.

"Finn?" Helen stated.

"Yes, Mom?" Just as he tried to hide his hope, he tried to hide his annoyance.

"You're..." Helen trailed off.

"You're...taking this very seriously." Helen remarked.

"It's important." Finn returned. "But I know you find football boring. Don't worry about it. Enjoy yourself at that meeting thing."

"_I know that's what you'd rather be doing anyway." _Finn thought.

"Finn, I'm..."

"Mom?"

"It's...it's nothing." Helen remarked after a long pause. "I'll try to make it in." And Helen left the room.

"Liar." Finn said very softly as he considered the best course of action for Robert, who was now the running back now that Mack was taking Finn's original spot as center.

* * *

Helen sat at the kitchen table, trying to concentrate on the work in front of her, but her thoughts kept drifting back to home. It was a total surprise to hear that Finn was played in the quarterback position. Helen only knew enough about football to get her through Super Bowl parties at the firm, although a life with both Jake and Finn taught her a bit more as she went along.

Helen was happy that her son was so happy and applying himself diligently, but she wished it was, at the very least, he'd apply the same sort of effort to his academics.

"_If he did, he'd have straight A's and be the team MVP." _Helen thought. But this, along with other sports, was the only thing he ever applied himself at.

This game on Monday was going to be very important to him. Helen heard Finn talk to Rita about the game, inviting her to participate. And she was coming, Helen knew. Finn had stated as such.

"_How long will that meeting be?" _Helen wondered. She wondered if, perhaps, if it was quick, she could hurry to the school and, at least catch part of the game. If she caught maybe the second half, she could speak of that.

It wasn't exactly the most virtuous approach, but this meeting had already been called. Helen needed to impress the senior partners in order to become a partner herself. Once she was a partner, there would be time. Helen knew that there would be time.

"_But maybe you can head to the office early? You can't reschedule the meeting, but maybe if everything is done early, Eric will call the meeting early." _Helen smiled at her idea. It was a long shot, but worth doing. Turn in a little earlier on Sunday, and she could pull it off.

* * *

There was no school on Saturday, but Finn was so excited he could barely sit still. There was no official practice scheduled, but Finn called his buddies in order to work on his throwing down on the field. He wanted this game to be perfect. To set a high bar.

"_And soon, regionals. Maybe even State, if I try hard enough." _Finn thought. His buddies were very eager to get out of the house. The guys practiced for a long time. Finn informed them of the strategies and ideas he had.

"Cool!" Jamie exclaimed.

"I wanted to try something like that!" Joey remarked. "But with Kevin, we were never able to try that."

"We could only do it in backyard games." Jeffy noted.

"Hey, I needed to ask you guys something." Finn stated. He figured it as time to test the waters about the whole captain thing. He had absolutely no desire to take such a position from someone as cool as Mack, and, if they thought otherwise, he needed to squash it now.

"Did Coach Gibson talk to you guys, about...well...me replacing Mack as captain?"

"No." Jamie remarked.

"Thank God!" Finn exclaimed.

"Why would he?" Jeffy asked.

"Because he did to me after the game on Thursday. And Mack." Finn answered. "And I don't want people thinking that. I don't want it."

"Dude, you would be a good captain." Joey praised.

"That's not the point!" Finn returned. "I don't want to be a usurper. I mean, I'm quarterback because Kevin went all AWOL on us, but Mack is still the captain. And that's how it's going to stay."

"Okay. That's what you want." Jamie remarked.

"Whatever, dude." Jeffy added.

"Good. Now let's get back to practice." Finn sighed with relief, and started throwing more passes. As he continued to throw the ball, he was completely surprised by how quickly those guys listened to him.

"_Is that what you meant by influence, Mack?" _Finn wondered. "_Because everyone listens to me? I guess that makes sense. This does happen. So what does the leadership part mean?" _

_

* * *

_

Practice lasted another two hours before the guys had to go off and do other things. Finding himself hungry, Finn decided to hit Pizza Palace. He was not surprised when he saw Jane and Tom sitting there, enjoying a slice.

"Hey, guys!" Finn eagerly went over to them. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure." Tom agreed.

"Daria's not with you?"

"No. No worrying about snipers." Jane teased.

"Congratulations on your football win." Tom remarked.

"You heard about that?" Finn asked.

"I told him, numb nuts." Jane teased.

"Next game's on Monday. You wanna come?"

"I'll go." Jane offered. "I don't have any other plans."

"We don't have to do body paint, do we?"

"Scared of a little color, or that I won't like what I see when I get that sweater off you." Jane teased.

"See what I put up with, Finn?" Tom teased. All three shared in a quick laugh.

"So you'll come?" Finn asked.

"Yeah." Tom agreed. "My school is throwing a fund-raising dinner. I'd rather go somewhere pleasant."

"Thanks." Finn smiled. "I'm glad everyone I care about is coming."

"Ah." Tom replied. "Well, I'll be waiting for Monday's game. I gotta get going." Tom remarked.

"I'll go with you." Jane remarked.

"You read my mind." Tom chuckled. "Later, Finn."

* * *

When Monday rolled around, Helen had her game plan set up perfectly. She woke up at 4:30, made herself a quick cup of coffee, and was out the door by five. She headed quickly to the office and got started on all the work that needed to get finished.

"_I'm glad I showed Eric my willingness to come in early so he could give me the keys and the code to the alarm." _Helen thought with a smile. She attacked her work with a passion.

"Helen!" Eric arrived in the office a little before seven.

"Hello, Eric!" Helen remarked.

"You're here early. I like to see that!" Eric chuckled. "Go- getter, not afraid of long hours. That's why I like you!"

"Well, I'm not afraid of a little time. Investment, innovation and effort. Three codes of business!" Helen remarked. She and Eric laughed.

"I'm just hoping we can get everything done so we can start that meeting as soon as possible." Helen remarked. "Get everything nice and accomplished."

"What's the occasion? Wedding? Funeral? I wish you invited me." Eric laughed again, and Helen wondered if he had too much coffee. Or spiked it with something.

"No occasion." Helen lied. She couldn't tell Eric she wanted to go see her son's football game. He took objection to anything like that. He didn't even like vacation time.

"I just want everything done." Helen noted.

"That's why we're working late tonight, too!" Eric remarked. "We got a call last night from Vanguard Pharmaceuticals."

"Really? They're huge." Helen remarked. Vanguard, if she remembered correctly, made medicines for people with liver conditions.

"I don't have all the details yet. That's what the meeting is about! We're going to strike it big with this one, Helen. Tell your husband to order a pizza, you'll be here all night! You and me, straight to the top!"

"Ummm, Eric..." Helen tried to interrupt him, but Eric was already practically singing.

"To the top!" Eric ran out of her office, pumping his fists in the air as he went down the hall to his own office.

"_Oh. Fantastic. What now, Helen?"_ She thought glumly as she looked at the paperwork in front of her.

* * *

Finn couldn't even concentrate on school on Monday. He didn't care how much hell Barch would give him for not paying attention. Tonight was too exciting. Finn considered asking Ms. Li if he could spend the rest of the school day practicing, but he decided against it. He would just tire himself out.

"_This is it!" _Finn thought with a cheer. Things were cool between him and Mack. The captain knew that Finn was not trying to usurp him. Finn could perform to his best with no worries about hurting anyone.

Finn passed Kevin in the hallway. He was still on his crutches, although Finn wasn't surprised. It hadn't even been a week yet.

"Hey, dude, feeling better?" Finn asked.

"Yeah." Kevin was still gloomy.

"Hey, dude, what's wrong."

"I'm the QB no more, dude. That's you now." Kevin remarked.

"Kevin, I'm only subbing until your knee gets better." Finn returned. "Once you're well enough to play, things will go back to the way they were."

"No they won't!" Kevin returned. "They'll all be like, why aren't you as good as Finn. He saved us against Oakwood, you're not as good as he is. There's no place on the team for me now, dude."

"That's not true, Kevin. The team still needs you."

"And what would I play?"

"Well..." Finn thought for a minute. Kevin was pretty scrawny, so any position on the line was out. He wasn't very fast, so a back position wasn't good either. Joey and Jeffy were better wide receivers, and Jamie was a better tight end. Truly, aside from quarterback, Finn couldn't see what Kevin could do for the team that someone else couldn't do better.

"Well, why don't we discuss it when you get better?" Finn offered, grateful to find an easy way out. "Since you're not playing anyway."

"Yeah, I guess." Kevin slumped and hobbled on his crutches away. And Finn, for the first time, actually felt bad for the guy. Kevin was truly nothing without football. If he was off the team, he truly would have nothing. He'd be devastated.

"_Is this what you meant, Mack?" _Finn wondered. "_Telling Kevin he has no place on the team? That's hard. I don't know if I can do it? Is it even the right decision? Now what, Finn?" _

_

* * *

_

Finn didn't leave the school after the game ended. The team had a short practice, just enough to warm up with, just before the game started.

"How's my ringer doing?" Coach Gibson asked Finn.

"Psyched." Finn remarked. "I'm ready to go."

"That's what I like to hear." The coach replied. "You know how to do this. Just go ahead." The coach returned to the other players, and Finn chuckled just a little bit before looking at the stands.

"Finn!" Finn caught the eye of his father almost immediately. He was loud enough to be heard from space.

"Dad!" Finn shouted and walked his way over to him. His father had already taken his place in the bleachers, and right beside him was Aunt Rita.

"And Aunt Rita too!"

"Hello, Finn." Aunt Rita said pleasantly. "It's a good thing your father was here so early. A lot of people came out today. I was worried we might not get good seats." Rita remarked.

"Well, I'm just glad you made it."

"Don't let us distract you." Rita remarked. "Just focus and you'll do fine."

"Thanks, Aunt Rita. I've been pumped for this day for a while."

"I thought the first time was just last Thursday." Aunt Rita remarked.

"It's felt a lot longer." Finn smiled. "Well, I should probably get back to warm-ups before I get killed. My friend Stacy is helping run the concession booth, and she knows my dad. Don't worry about paying for that stuff."

"I'll keep that in mind." Rita laughed. She bent down and gave Finn a peck on the forehead.

"Do your best, sweetie. I don't know much about football, but I do love seeing you happy when you do it." And Aunt Rita made Finn blush as he walked back to the team.

* * *

Helen sighed when Eric started setting up the phone for the meeting. It was going to be over the phone with a few members of Vanguard.

Conference calls always took forever, because they were so full of chatter. Helen despised chatter even when she wasn't on a time crunch. Now, it was going to be murder.

She looked at her clock. Close to 5. It took forty-five minutes to reach Lawndale High from her office. She'd have time to find a parking space and make the kickoff.

"Eric, what can you tell me about this case already?" Helen asked politely. If she got the details hammered down, perhaps she could move the meeting along. She planned for the meeting to end at 5:30. There'd be some traffic, and she'd miss the first bit of the game. But she'd be there for most of it. She remembered football games had four fifteen-minute periods, although she did remember Finn saying that high school games were a bit shorter, although she didn't know by how much. Other things made it ran a little longer, but planning on that would make her relatively accurate.

"They have a new medicine they called Phoenix. Supposedly helped regenerate damaged tissue much faster. Looks like...agh!" An errant move from Eric caused him to drop the handset of Helen's phone.

"Eric, why don't you get the IT guy to take care of that?" Helen offered.

"No way. I can fix it. Eric Schrecter can perform and deliver!"

"_Having problems with your wife again?" _Helen thought to herself. At no other time did he denigrate into such double entendres.

"Eric, do you know much about football?" Helen asked.

"Sure I do!" Eric cheered.

"Well, Eric, you remember Finn, right? My son?"

"How is the boy?" Eric continued to fiddle with the phone.

"He's playing his first game as the team quarterback tonight." Helen delivered a backup plan she thought of at the spur of the moment. Eric always had masculinity issues, and perhaps the raw, virile sport would appeal to him. Helen would bring Eric to the game if it meant she could go see her son. She'd even buy his ticket if they could leave now.

"Wow!" Eric remarked. "And you're going to spend it with me instead. I knew you had partner-quality written all over you. Putting the firm first, I like that!" Eric completely misinterpreted her point, although Helen honestly expected that might happen.

"Well, it looks like the phone is all set up. Expect the call in fifteen minutes." Eric stood up. Helen sighed. Fifteen minutes to start? She'd miss the kick if she left when it started. Who knew how long the ending would take.

"Oh, Helen, that's your son, right?" He pointed to a picture on her desk.

"Yes, that' him." Helen remarked. Jake had given her this picture recently; he took it on their last father-son outing just last week.

"_Just last week?" _Helen moaned. When was the last time she had mother-son bonding with him? Longer than that, that's for sure.

"He certainly is built. Maybe I should ask his advice sometime. Do you think my abs look good for my age?" Eric pulled up the front of his shirt to expose his stomach.

"Eric, shouldn't we be waiting for the phone call. You'll need to rush back to your office to get it, and then they'll hear you breathing heavy."

"Oh, I'm not worried. Those guys said they'll probably be a few minutes late anyway."

"_Goddammit!" _Helen thought.

* * *

The visitor team won the coin toss, so they would receive the ball first.

"_It's the only thing you'll win." _Finn thought as he played attention to all the defensive players on his team. Defense was not Finn's area of expertise, but he knew enough from his time spotting the opponent's defense during his time as center.

"_Show me some good." _Finn thought.

"Hey, dude, you look excited." Mack came over to Finn and sat beside him.

"Aren't you?" Finn returned.

"Well, yeah." Mack shrugged. "Big game for you, huh?"

"The first of many, I hope." Finn smiled.

"You mean as quarterback?"

"Where I'm best suited. Whatever that means. Doesn't matter where I want to go." Finn stared at the field, and watched as the defense, while not as great as he would like, managed to keep the offense from gaining too many yards. They got a fresh set of downs with a good throw, but the defense picked it up later, and soon the visiting team was going to punt.

"Guess they're not stupid." Finn remarked. "Was kinda hoping for a turnover. Well, Captain, shall we get ready to kick some ass?"

"There's more important things than winning." Mack returned.

"Yeah, but winning isn't a bad thing provided it's won fairly." Finn returned. "Besides, won't we win by performing our best?"

"Now you're talking my language." Mack put his helmet on.

* * *

Finn knew that many of his friends and family were watching the game, but he tried to blot them out of his head. He remembered last Thursday, when he was sacked only once. And the reason why was simple: He looked at his father. As much as Finn knew he desired the support of those he loved, he had to ignore them to give them what they wanted.

Finn always found it hard to focus on anything that wasn't a game. But Finn's world ended with the girdiron. There were only the football and the players. And then Finn received the ball. To his surprise, it felt different than he did on Thursday. He almost forgot to throw it. But he quickly made a lateral pass to Robert, who managed to get five yards.

"_Attrition." _Finn thought. "_You have four downs." _The team returned to formation, and Finn heard Mack shout "Green 13." A codeword that meant the opponents were more prepared for a rush from the weak side.

"_Let's see what you bastards think of this." _Mack hiked the ball to Finn, and quickly, the new quarterback threw the ball to Jamie. The tight end performed almost as well as he did against Oakwood, and now there was a fresh set of downs.

"_Maybe this was the best thing for the team to happen since ever." _Finn laughed, and looked at the cheering crowd. The love was overflowing for the team from the fans.

"_Keep a goin'-Finn. They want a show. And, unlike that show in Fremont, a show you have no problems doing." _

_

* * *

_

The conference call started at around 5:25. Helen could barely hide her annoyance. And the case itself was hardly anything spectacular. Although Vanguard itself was a large company, this case was so ridiculously simple that it didn't even warrant Helen's attention. Was this just some sort of test to see if she was ready for senior partner? Was this all a farce, to see how she'd react?

"_It better not be." _Helen thought angrily. She managed to keep her calm, and the phone call took about forty-five minutes.

"_The game is already started, Helen!" _Her mind hissed at her when she hung the phone up. 6:05. It would have just begun. If she left now, she'd only catch maybe the last quarter of the game.

"_That might be enough." _Helen thought. She hung the phone up and quickly shut everything down in her office. It would have been a record, had she bothered to check the time.

"Helen, where ya going?" Eric called. "We should be celebrating!" Eric had a flute of champagne in his hand. He always kept some in his office.

"Eric, I do really need to leave. Finn's football game has already started."

"Helen, you'd never make it in time. There's an accident on the freeway."

"What!" Helen cursed.

"Yeah, Mindy called and told me about it." Eric knocked back his champagne. Mindy was the name of Eric's wife.

"I still should get going. I can take the back roads. I just need to get there in time." Helen turned around and sprinted down the steps, not bothering to wait for the elevator. By some miracle, her heels did not break. She got in her minivan and took off down the road. Sure enough, Helen noticed a lot of backup on the freeway, but she knew the back roads. Not very well, but she remembered road names and turns, and that would be enough.

Helen turned on the road feeling great. Her time was off, but she could make the end of the game. She would see the score for herself. And when Finn spoke to her, she would not lie, but she would be able to cover as best as she could. He would know that he asked her to come, and she did. That was what mattered.

And all of her hopes shattered when she made the second turn, and saw the slow moving line of red lights from the other people who thought the back roads would be another quick way home.

* * *

The visiting team was a lot better than Oakwood, and Finn only managed to get one touchdown in, using a trick play, nonetheless, by the time the first quarter ended. But the crowd was still excited to see Lawndale at 7, and Gregory Bishop, the visitors, at zip.

"Step it up, Finn!" The coach remarked in the short break between quarters.

"You bet." Finn smiled. He looked into the stands to see his Dad, who was cheering with both fists in the air. Aunt Rita sat beside him, elegantly sitting down with a smile on her face. Further down the stand, Finn could pick out Jane, seated with Tom. Jane was apathetic, and Finn knew she didn't care much for football, but Tom was making a small racket of cheering.

"_Maybe just to mess with Jane." _Finn chuckled. And then he noticed Kevin, looking as gloomy as he did at school today.

While Finn may not have been performing as well as he wanted to, he was still succeeding. Kevin was probably taking this as his march to execution.

For a brief moment, Finn considered dropping down from the game. He loved the game very much, but he never wanted his skill on the field to hurt someone else. Not even Kevin. Finn actually felt sad when he saw the morose former quarterback. Kevin was an idiot, a jerk sometimes, and completely full of himself.

And that's when Finn dispelled the thought of throwing the game. Kevin had no one to blame but himself. He got himself into the accident, his performance at quarterback was passable. But passable did not win State. Neither did it grant tenure.

"_Maybe I should talk to him after I win the game, maybe figure out what position he can play. But I can't throw the game for someone else. I am not the team. Even if Kevin hates me for this, the other guys don't deserve to be called losers because of me." _And with that sacrilege dispelled, Finn went back to the game. And, thanks to a fantastic interception from one of the seniors Finn didn't know too well, Lawndale was able to make another touchdown within three minutes of game time.

* * *

Helen cursed even more as the slow march of cars drug on.

"_That's it." _Helen hit the steering wheel of her car with frustration.

"_I'm not going to make it." _Helen thought glumly. Nothing short of teleportation would get her there now. She could no longer focus on it.

"_Finn will go out to celebrate his victory, of that I'm sure. Rita is coming,, so he'll definitely go out to eat with her." _Helen could waste no more time thinking about the game. She needed to focus on Finn now.

"_I should do something. He would never believe there was traffic. What need would Finn have to check traffic reports; he's playing football. So let's try..." _Helen thought quickly. Once she saw a chance to veer onto a road, she took it. She made her way back to a major road. There was still some traffic, but she pulled off into a nearby grocery store. She immediately made her way to the bakery department, and picked out a small sheet cake.

"_White frosting with green trim. Finn's favorite color." _Helen thought. She called over the bakery associate.

"Could I have you write something on this cake for me?" She asked the teenaged girl.

"Sure." The girl replied with the bored apathy common to high school grocery workers.

"I want it to say 'Congratulations, Finn' and that's with two n's." Helen returned.

"Okay. What color?"

"Green, like the trim." Helen waited anxiously as the woman completed her job. The job she did was positively horrific, but it was legible. That was what was important now.

"Thank you." Helen grabbed the cake and quickly paid for it, and then made it back to her car. The traffic was moving slightly faster as she got back on the road.

"_Surprise him with a congratulations and then you can tell him about traffic. He will believe it. After all, it's true." _Helen smiled as he pulled onto the street.

* * *

At halftime, Lawndale was still up, but the score was 14-10, and Finn was starting to get a little nervous. The entire team was amazed at the marvelous execution of the hook and ladder that Gregory Bishop pulled.

"_And I wanted to do that. At least we receive." _Finn thought. He called over Mack, Robert, Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie.

"We need to change things up a bit." Finn remarked. "Guys? I'm thinking flea flicker."

"That's pretty risky." Mack cautioned.

"I know, but we need to get the pressure off. We need another touchdown." Finn returned. Four points was not a lot of points to get in football, particularly when it was only halftime.

"I'm in." Robert replied.

"Joey, the defense is weakest on you. Can you do it?" Finn asked.

"Yeah!" Joey cheered. After the punt, the Lion attempted the classic play.

"And Morgendorffer laterals the ball to...and what's this?" Upchuck commented from the booth.

"It seems our halfback is throwing the ball back to...and Morgendorffer makes a long pass. It's going...going. And Joey Nelson catches it! Your very own Lawndale Lions show their trick claws. It's the first time this announcer has seen the classic flea flicker performed successfully at Lawndale High! And with forty yards gained, who can complain?" The crowd erupted into cheers. The team quickly cheered each other.

With so many yards gained, morale was high among the Lions. The team was able to get out another touchdown. But Finn knew he couldn't get lazy for a moment. He could collapse in the car if he wanted to. Now was not the time.

* * *

Gregory Bishop responded more aggressively following the flea flicker, and they managed another touchdown and a field goal. But that was not enough for victory, and the game ended with a final score of 21-20, Lawndale victory. Finn was a little disappointed, as he figured he could do better.

But he could worry about that when he was with the team, reviewing footage that Ms. Li would eagerly provide. She video-taped every football game.

"_That woman has an obsession with..." _Finn thought. The entire team was in a jovial mood when they got changed. But Finn changed quickly; he needed to see his father and Aunt Rita. Sure enough, they were waiting just outside.

"That's my boy!" Jake cheered.

"Well done, Finn." Rita encouraged, giving him a hug.

"Careful, I'm still sweaty." Finn felt so much better seeing everyone. Jane would have known that Aunt Rita was attending, and would not interrupt family time for Finn. And Tom would have followed Jane.

But no one else came to the game. Not Mom.

"_Why do I kid myself?" _Finn thought. She had a meeting. She had her job. That was the most important thing.

"_Well, I guess I was wrong too. Daria's not with her. I guess it's not just about her, then." _Finn thought to himself.

"Let's eat." Rita remarked. "Anywhere you want."

"Dad?" Finn asked. "Which of your clients has the best food?" Jake eagerly gave them the name of a restaurant.

"I've got an early day tomorrow. I'll see you. Congratulations, Finn!" Jake cheered before going back to his Lexus.

"You did so well, Finn. I'm glad I got to see you play." Rita remarked.

"Yeah. Thanks, Aunt Rita." Finn smiled as the two went off to eat.

"_Why can't you do things like this, Mom? Why?" _

_

* * *

_

When Helen arrived at the house, she was surprised to discover Jake's Lexus was already there. But all the lights were off in the house.

"_Finn shouldn't be home yet." _Helen thought. Perhaps Jake decided to call it an early night?

"_No big deal." _Helen thought. Jake would have already celebrated with Finn. Helen eagerly went into the kitchen carrying the cake and set it neatly on the kitchen table in front of her, taking off the plastic lid. And then, she sat patiently.

"_I can wait for you, Finn. I know that you will come home." _Helen sat patiently, rehearsing what she wanted to say in her mind, to smooth out the cracks in the speech. And she waited. Patiently. An hour passed, then two. It was starting to get rather late, and Finn did have curfew_._

"_Wait, he's out with Rita. Like she'd ever let him acknowledge curfew." _Helen started to get impatient, but she did not leave. Her eyesstarted to grow heavy. It had been a very long day, and traffic always exhausted her. Sitting in the car waiting for slow people to actually have reaction time was the most tiring thing Helen could imagine.

And her head started to dip a little, but she tried to fight it. It worked for a time.

"_Where are you, Finn?" _Helen thought. It didn't take this long to celebrate. Even with Rita. Helen's eyes started to get away again, and the world seemed to spin a moment. Early mornings were tough on her.

And then Helen stood up to get some water. And, after that entire day of running around, was the time her high heel finally broke. Helen stumbled and grabbed the table for balance. However, her hand grabbed the plastic tray the cake was resting on. Helen and the cake both fell to the floor.

"_Oh...Oh no!" _Helen moaned as she saw the now ruined confection. Everything she did today to show Finn today her appreciation, and all she had to show for it was a car nearly out of gas, a broken high heel, and a buttercreme disaster splayed out on the floor.

Helen sobbed drastically as she cleaned up the floor.

* * *

Finn stayed out for three hours with his Aunt Rita. Even the place he went to, a popular Italian restaurant, had many people who knew about the game. Some teammates, but mostly fans, came over to offer their congratulations. There was even a reporter from the _Lawndale Herald _who wanted to interview Finn. He accepted, but commented to wait until after he was finished his dinner. Football was hungry work.

Aunt Rita was encouraging him. Although it was abundantly clear that she didn't know much about the technical aspect of the game, she still praised his level head, his quick decision-making.

"_The things Mom never tells me." _Finn thought bitterly. Aunt Rita did not stay the whole time; she wanted to give Finn the opportunity to speak to that reporter. The reporter, like a true shark, came over to the table shortly after Aunt Rita left, and started to drill him. Finn tried to answer as best as he could.

When Finn returned home, the house was quiet. Finn went straight upstairs to his room and fell on the bed. He wanted to sleep for days, but he had to wake up for school tomorrow. Finn made sure to get ready and wake up for it, however. At school, the reactions of many of the students was exactly what Finn thought it would be. Praise and lots of it. They loved him, they were happy for him. And Finn was enraptured.

"_You see, Mom. I can do something right." _Finn thought bitterly. This was the biggest game he had yet, except maybe his first one ever. And, just as it was back then, his mother did not care. She did not show up to them, at all. Finn knew the number of games she had shown up to: Four, in total. In two years, she'd only seen him play four times. And she was on the phone with Eric during the entire time, talking about whatever stupid idea crossed that guy's mind.

"_I guess I know where I stand." _Finn thought as he headed to Mr. O'Neill's class.

* * *

Helen figured that there would be an article about the football game in the Lawndale Herald. The entire town took it's high school football team seriously. Sure enough, a large article, complete with a picture of Finn on the field, dominated the paper. According to the article, it was the masterful playing of the quarterback that defeated the visiting team, Gregory Bishop, who apparently, usually defeated Lawndale.

Helen was angry that she missed it. Now Finn would think that she spent all night helping companies cheat on their taxes, or coddling Eric, or whatever it was he thought she did.

"_Am I just going to have to do what you said, Eric? Buy him a new pair of cleats and hope it'll just blow over?" _Helen thought. Immediately as she thought of it, she immediately thought "no." Perhaps this would blow over, as all things did, but she was not going to get suckered into such apathy.

"_Okay. So you don't want to take the hard way out. Good for you. Now, how do you do that, Helen?" _She thought. Finn was going to be in school now. But if the case with Vanguard was as simple as she thought, perhaps she could take a personal day once it was done. She was already taking one shortly to get a check-up and visit the dentist. That was only an hour or two. There would be the entire rest of the day for Finn.

"_But wait, Finn would be at school." _Helen dismissed. And who knew what his schedule would be like now that he was the quarterback of the team. The doctor and dentist could be handled with Finn at school, assuredly. Perhaps a snow day? No, Finn's grades were still not at the level Helen liked. He could not afford to miss school.

"_Why is this so hard?" _Helen wondered to herself as she heard Marianne, her secretary, come into the office.

"Good morning, Helen?" Marianne smiled. "I'll get right on fixing that letterhead for you." Marianne immediately shuffled to her desk.

"_Marianne has children."_ Helen thought. Marianne, if she remembered correctly, had two children. Two sons, if she remembered, all alone. Marianne never spoke of her husband often. All Helen knew was that there had been an accident.

"Marianne?" Helen posed.

"Yes, Helen?" Marianne was skittish, almost as if she expected Helen to drop a load of paper the size of a small country in her lap.

"How old are your children? You have two boys, right?" Helen asked. Marianne was surprised as the comment.

"Well, Scott is twelve and Tony is ten." Marianne answered nervously.

"What are they like?" Helen asked.

"Umm...Helen, you're not...going through...err.." Marianne stuttered.

"_Why is it anytime I show the slightest interest in my children, everyone thinks it's menopause?" _Helen cursed.

"Marianne, answer the question." Helen demanded. Marianne shrunk in her chair a little.

"Well, Scott likes detective novels and computer games. And Tony loves soccer. Tries all the time."

"He sounds like Finn." Helen reflected with a smile.

"I read the paper this morning." Marianne seemed to relax a bit, a rare occurrence for her. "That was your son?"

"Yes. That's him." Helen smiled.

"And weren't you here with Eric last night?" Marianne asked.

"What, you think I'm a bad mother?" Helen immediately became defensive.

"N...no, I would never say that!" Marianne remarked. Helen was about to chew the woman out for thinking such a thing, but she bit her tongue. She needed this woman's help right now.

"I've never understood sports much. What does soccer mean for Tony?" Helen asked.

"It's...it's hard to explain." Marianne returned. "I try to follow it, but I could never get into it. It just seems so pointless, to kick a ball into a net. Plus, well, my husband loved soccer." Marianne's eyes went misty a moment.

"But anyway." Marianne tried to perk up. "I don't really know that much about it. But I learned at least the basics. So if Tony talks about it, I can ask him questions. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm an idiot. But at least I try. But I'm sure you know all about that, Helen."

"Huh? I don't know the first thing about soccer."

"I mean with Finn." Marianne answered. "He's certainly did well at that game."

"You went?" Helen asked.

"Oh yes. My brother's son goes to Gregory Bishop. Can't say he was pleased with what happened."

Helen thought briefly that she could ask Marianne all the details of the game. The small things, the things that never made it into the paper. Finn would certainly not know of Marianne's nephew on the other team, and Helen could easily fool her son into thinking she went to the game and couldn't find him to congratulate him.

But, just as the thoughts with the cleats, Helen dismissed it. She'd just get caught. Finn would hate her when he found out, and he'd be right.

Helen sighed.

"Helen?" Marianne asked.

"Nothing. Go and get back to work on that letterhead." Helen returned to her desk. Marianne turned back to hers. There was only the sound of working in the office.

* * *

Coach Gibson asked Finn to meet him after school. Once he got to his office, the Coach gave him an impressive pat on the back.

"Well done, Finn!" The coach remarked.

"I wish I coulda done better." Finn remarked. "We only won by one point."

"Yeah, but we'll address that at the next practice tomorrow." Coach Gibson returned. "You've got the making of a star quarterback in you, Finn. I haven't seen a player as good as you since Tommy Sherman."

"You don't have to compare me to him." Finn remarked. Finn's opinion of Tommy Sherman hadn't changed since the latter's death. The guy was still a total jackass. Even when it was about football, Finn hated the comparison. Tommy Sherman ran in all the touchdowns himself; Finn played on a team.

"You're going to be my quarterback from now on." Coach Gibson remarked. "Mack will take over as center."

"Well, what about Kevin?" Finn asked.

"Kevin's no good." Coach Gibson dismissed. "Not as good as you. He'll be second string. Already told him this just before you got here."

"You...you did?" Finn remarked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah. He's not taking it well. Who does?"

"What about...err...the captain thing."

"Not right now. Don't want to rush that one. Anyway, rest up tonight, good night's sleep, eat healthy. I want you ready for the next game! And Finn, well done." Coach Gibson praised. Finn, however, walked somberly out of the coach's office and back home.

He knew he shouldn't feel bad, but he couldn't help but feel bad for Kevin. Without football, truly, what did he have? He didn't play other sports, and he certainly had no other activities, other then cheating on Brittany.

"_God, Finn, you really are a softie, aren't you?" _Finn criticized himself. He wanted to clear the air with Kevin, but Finn had no idea how to do that.

"_Hey, Kevin, sorry I kinda stole QB from you and ruined your entire high school life. Yeah, rousing. That doesn't make me want to kill you with a rusty shovel." _Finn criticized. He supposed he could just ignore Kevin, but then, things would just be awkward. Really awkward. And who knew what sort of revenge Kevin might take. Kevin wasn't intelligent enough to think of anything besides picking a fight, but there was such a thing as a lucky shot.

* * *

Finn headed back home following the Coach's advice. He thought briefly about calling Mack or Jodie for advice. The former knew Kevin well, and the latter knew social graces like the back of her hand. But he realized he needed to do this himself. This was his problem.

"Finn! I've been looking for you!" Helen's voice sounded from the doorway of his room. Finn didn't even hear her come in. Did he fall asleep at his desk, or were his thoughts about Kevin so unproductive that even the idea of thinking about it died.

"Oh, err...Mom. Hi." Finn acknowledged her, but he had no time for her insincere comments. He already knew she didn't care. There was no need to fake it. Child Services wouldn't arrest her for that.

"Finn, I wanted to congratulate you on that game you played yesterday."

"Thanks." Finn replied.

"Your father can't stop talking about it." Helen remarked.

"Heh, that's nothing. At the game he was quite the livewire. I could tell where he was from the field." Finn noted. It wasn't true, but his father was happy to be the uber-fan.

"I actually stopped by with a cake yesterday." Helen remarked. "But unfortunately, well..."

"I saw the mess in the garbage." Finn answered.

"Finn, what was that game like?" Helen asked.

"Huh?" Finn wondered.

"That football is really important to you, isn't it?"

"Well, I wouldn't play it if it wasn't." Finn remarked. "Anyway, I'm not sure how to answer that. Playing and watching are two different things. Ask Dad or Aunt Rita."

"Finn, I'm asking you." Helen returned. "I know I don't play football or box like you do, but I want to know."

"Well, what does it feel like when you...uhh...lawyer? Does that work as a verb?"

"It's complicated to explain." Helen returned. The world of law was excessively complicated, and sometimes, she did things that skirted gray areas, things Finn would never understand.

"Well, it's complicated to explain this too." Finn remarked. Helen didn't know how that would be possible. Football may be more complicated then getting the ball across 100 yards, but there was still a playbook. You didn't get a CliffNotes version of the world of law.

"Finn, do you want me to say please?" Helen remarked.

"Well, it's a rush." Finn said after a long pause. "You have a split second to think and act. The ball comes at you and you need to catch it. Then you need to decide what's the best move. Do you run it, do you pass it. If you pass it, where? Behind? In front? Is the best course of action not to get it at all? Play a straight play, play a bluff? What's the defense planning, how do you react? You might think it's boring, but every play is different, and there are many plays."

"That's...interesting." None of it made any sense to Helen.

"Well, like I said it is hard to explain." Finn returned to writing in a spiral notebook on his desk.

"I guess you had to be there." Helen heard Finn say as she started to leave his room.

* * *

There was only practice, no other games, this week. After practice on Wednesday, Finn decided to head to Pizza Palace to meet Jane and Tom.

"You did very well." Tom remarked. "You've got a great forward passing game. You do favor throwing to your tight end, I noticed."

"I know. I really gotta watch that." Finn remarked. "But thanks. I'm glad to know you care enough to help me out."

"Your man-talk is all Greek to me." Jane quipped.

"You think this is bad, wait till we get to the size jokes." Tom garnered.

"Jane, I'm glad you showed up." Finn remarked. "I know you're not a football fan."

"I can be persuaded for a friend." Jane noted. Finn blushed a bit.

"Hey, is that Kevin?" Jane pointed. Sure enough, Kevin was seated alone in a booth, quietly noshing on a slice of supreme.

"He's still wallowing in self-pity?" Tom asked.

"More then that. He's not the quarterback anymore." Finn returned.

"Oh!" Tom was surprised. "Well, Finn, you know that's not..."

"...My fault, I know." Finn interrupted. "Sorry. It's just I've been thinking about it all week. I just want to cheer him up, you know. Or at least make sure I don't have to worry about being jumped in an alley somewhere."

"So why are you sitting here complaining about it?" Tom remarked. "That's what he's doing."

"So I can figure out how to do it right. I'm no good at this."

"Good or not, at least give it your best." Jane answered. "We were about to leave anyway."

"Thanks. For reminding me." Finn smiled. Jane and Tom smiled back, and they left the store. Finn took a deep breath, sighed, and made his way over to Kevin's table.

"This seat taken?" Finn asked.

"Come to laugh at the no-more QB." Kevin said spitefully.

"Kevin, this wasn't my decision." Finn reminded. "I had nothing to do with you getting bumped to second-string."

"Second-strings a bunch of losers."

"Kevin, you can't blame Finn for this." A voice both men knew well sounded from behind them. Finn didn't have to turn around to know that it was Mack. The captain took a seat next to Finn. Jodie, who apparently came with Mack. Took a seat next to Kevin.

"You're taking his side, Mack Daddy? I thought we were buds."

"Kevin, we are friends, nothing's going to change that." Mack returned. "But you did a stupid stunt on a motorcycle and took yourself out of the game. Rather then give back to the team, you thought of yourself and spent all your time whining how you couldn't date Brittany since you weren't a football player." Mack's voice was firm, and not a single drop of venom was in his tone.

"But I couldn't!" Kevin shouted.

"What he means, Kevin, is that you put yourself ahead of the team. You always tried to run in plays because you liked the glory of scoring the points. You liked the prestige of being the QB more than being the quarterback."

"But I was the QB!" Kevin remarked. Finn sighed. He had thought of that one a few days ago, and now the insult was ruined.

"Kevin, if it bothers you that I'm quarterback, how about, instead of whining about it alone, you start making yourself a better player. Actually learn some good moves on the field. When Coach Gibson shows you a play-by-play of the game, take notes and don't make the same damn mistakes again. Quit relying on bulk-up powder and train your block off. Use your head. Learn something from this, quit moping." Finn remarked.

"Ummm..." Kevin didn't know how to answer.

"Kevin, Finn became the quarterback for those reasons." Mack quickly chimed in. "I'd listen to him."

"I...gotta go train!" Kevin scarfed down what was left of his pizza. Sensing a bolt to the door, Jodie got up so Kevin could leave.

"Not bad." Mack praised.

"Thanks." Finn remarked. "I needed that backup."

"You guys think anything will come of this?" Jodie asked politely. A valid question, considering Kevin's legendary forgetfulness.

"Maybe. It was worth doing." Finn remarked. "You can only get better by learning more at football."

"That's true for any topic, Finn." Jodie corrected.

"He probably won't get anymore byes on tests since he's not first-string." Mack noted. "He'll either get better or drop out. Either one."

"Sink or swim, I suppose." Finn remarked.

"I think Kevin will listen, in his own special way." Mack remarked. "Emphasis on special."

"That's mean." Jodie remarked, but she laughed a bit as well.

"Byes." Finn commented. "I never got those. I get my C's on my own, thank you."

"That's nothing to be proud of." Jodie remarked.

"Sorry I can't be perfect, Mom." Finn commented sourly.

"I'm not talking about perfect, Finn." Jodie remarked.

"Finn, you're not dumb, and you can't convince anyone you are. Not even your sister." Mack returned. "And I know I told you this before, but life isn't just about football." And Mack and Jodie departed, leaving Finn to sit alone, mulling over the words that were starting to depress him.


	26. The Mark of Failure

Finn loved inservice days. Why they couldn't just call them "off-days" was beyond him. But an inservice day meany a boy's day with his buddies. Daria would also be out of class, so she would be over Jane's.

"_Or maybe not." _Finn thought. With Tom around, Daria and Jane were not together as much as normal, although it was better than it was back when Jane first started dating him. Daria and Tom were occasionally around each other, but Tom was the one who made the effort, Finn reasoned. Daria would never.

So Finn spent the day with his buddies. All of them were congratulatory to Finn about gaining the quarterback's role. To his surprise, none of them spoke badly about Kevin. It wasn't a bad thing. Kevin's knee healed, and he still performed with the team in practices and drills and stuff. Finn didn't notice any improvement in his game, but Finn knew he was very bad with gradient scales. Do or don't was his way of measurement. At least he wasn't trying to pick a fight.

The day started with a trip to the arcade, early so that none of the elementary school kids would be there. Then Pizza Palace, then to the park for a quick on the fly game, and then finally the shooting range.

The entire day was filled with fun and enjoyment, and Finn was laughing hard when he made it home.

"_And tomorrow is Friday. Yet another inservice day. Oh, you teachers, if only you had as much fun as we did. _

_

* * *

_

"And so, class, I'm passing on the knowledge that I learned at the teaching seminar to you." Mr. O'Neill was always sappier coming back from inservice days. Daria learned this a long time ago.

"Things can get so competitive sometimes." Mr. O'Neill tried to address the sleepy class. "We're so driven to crush the people who our are rivals, and we are ourselves crushed when we are defeated, even when defeat is inevitable. I wonder if this is what Brutus and Cassius felt before their defeat by Antony and Octavian."

"So this is the assignment. I want you students to set yourself a task that you know you will fail at. It will be first hand knowledge that failing isn't the end of the world. Rather, we can use that failure in order to better ourselves. Kevin, why don't we start with you." Mr. O'Neill turned towards Kevin, who was starting to doze off in his chair.

"Ummm...President Odie!" Kevin bolted up in his chair.

"President Odie?" Jane asked.

"Mr. DeMartino mentioned James Garfield in class three days ago. The analogy must have finally gotten to Kevin's brain." Daria noted.

"Anything can be found given enough time and effort." Jane returned.

"Kevin, what is something you'd fail at?" Mr. O'Neil asked.

"I once ate three stinkbugs than threw up!" Kevin returned.

"Eww!" Mr. O'Neill responded.

"It's the high point of his life." Jane returned.

"Why don't we move on...Brittany?" Mr. O'Neill continued.

"Here!" Brittany replied eagerly.

"Hello, Brittany."

"I...ummm...could never be unpopular." Brittany returned.

"Try dating my brother without a bribe." Daria snidely commented. "He might be able to arrange that."

"I should try and date Finn?" Brittany twirled her hair around her finger. "But I don't want to fail at...eep!" Brittany noted Kevin was still sitting next to her.

"Daria, what about you?"

"I could fail to see why doing this assignment should cut into my valuable time of being lazy." Daria answered.

"Great!" Mr. O'Neill replied too eagerly. "Umm...wait."

"I'll think of something suitably pointless." Daria answered.

"Super!" Mr. O'Neill started to move on to the rest of the class. Daria, however, couldn't think of a worse assignment O'Neill had given.

"_Now that's a failure." _

_

* * *

_

"This assignment is completely and totally pointless." Daria walked with Jane down the hallway.

"Who'd have thought you'd want to put so much effort into failing." Jane added.

"To show failing isn't the end of the world is what he said."

"It's an elaborate ruse." Jane returned. "It's a conspiracy set up by Ms. Li to use failure as an excuse to get more state money."

"How else will she get the laser grid for the trophy case." Daria went to her locker.

"Hey, Daria, hey Jane." The familiar voice of Jodie Landon greeted the two girls.

"What are you two doing?" Jodie asked.

"Trying to think of ways to fail to give a crap about O'Neill's assignment. Already succeeding. Damn." Daria answered.

"Hmph. Well, at least mine's pretty easy. Trying to get out of college prep classes is impossible enough without the internship and the volunteering."

"Damn mandatory volunteering." Daria criticized.

"I'd really like to be able to hit the beach, just once this summer." Jodie moaned. "But what can you do?"

"Stop listening to your psychotic parents? That's what I do." Daria returned.

"Daria, I've met your family. It doesn't hold a candle."

"Isn't this the competition we're supposed to be avoiding. Anyway, I'm not comparing, I'm just saying do what you want."

"There's a long list of reasons why I can't do that. And volunteering at a hospice is for a good cause. Showing kindness and companionship to those who don't have a lot of time left. And then I've got those classes to take. That's going to be pointless. Just another trophy for Dad to brag about on the golf course."

"One he didn't win." Daria remarked.

"What are you going to do?" Jodie asked.

"Something that requires the exact same amount of effort as it takes to not care about this project. That's to say, none at all." Jane remarked.

"You could try staying up for a whole _Sick, Sad, World _marathon." Daria remarked.

"I've already done that." Jane stated.

"How about this. Try being conventional. Dress and act like all the losers my brother dates." Daria answered.

"You're saying I'm some kind of weirdo."

"Jane, what passes for normal in this school?" Daria folded her arms across her chest. Jane said nothing.

"And now I need to think about what I want to do." Daria remarked.

"I have the strangest feeling, Daria, that whatever your assignment to fail is going to be, it's going to involve making Finn miserable." Jane remarked.

"Hey!" Daria returned.

"So am I right or wrong?" Jane returned.

"I'm going to fail to convince him to give up football." Daria answered.

"And do what?"

"I don't know. Something else. In a country far, far, away. Maybe eating paint."

"Daria!" Jodie was aghast. "Why don't you try failing to treat him like he's some sort of rabid beast."

"Lack of imagination."

* * *

"And now, reason fifteen. Football has a high rate of injury." Daria was sitting in Jane's room as she was changing clothes in her closet.

"Wouldn't you encourage him to do it more, then?" Jane said from the closest.

"He'd be around the house more than ever. And I'd probably be forced to take care of him if he broke something that left him motionless."

"Daria, you really gotta lay off of this." Jane returned.

"Jane, I'm failing at this assignment, nothing is going to happen." Daria returned.

"Still. You know, Finn never talks bad about you when you're not around." Jane lectured.

"Be that as it may, he's still my brother. I get to badmouth him. It's an inalienable right. Anyway, like I said, nothing's going to happen. It'll be another easy O'Neill A. Well, I think it's time for me to head back, anyway. My parents should be home, and I can get this lame assignment over with."

"Hang on, just a sec." Jane replied. Daria waited for a moment, and then watched as Jane stepped out of the closet. What Daria saw was something she couldn't possibly expect. Jane accomplished exactly what it was she set out to accomplish. She looked exactly like the same mindless trite idiots that populated Lawndale High.

"So, like, how do I look?" Jane changed her accent in order to fully complete the change.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I think I need some anti-depressants."

The next day at school, Finn started putting his books away, but paused once he saw the new girl in school.

"_Hmmm...I never noticed her before." _Finn thought. She didn't have the best body, but it wasn't bad. She paused for a moment as she opened up her teddy bear backpack.

Finn casually strode up to her.

"Hey, there." He put on his best moves.

"What's up, ringer?" The girl turned around, and Finn's eyes bulged.

"Jane!" Finn managed to get out, nearly choking on his gum.

"Hello, Finn." Jane remarked.

"You look...pretty nice. What's with the new clothes?" Finn complimented.

"It's an assignment I have to do. I'm supposed to succeed at failing."

"Does this have anything to do with all the weird crap Daria was telling me yesterday about football encouraging steroid use and brutality."

"I didn't think she was going to use that one." Jane answered.

"So, that's a yes?" Finn asked.

"Yeah."

"You look really pretty." Finn complimented. It does compliment you well.

"Really?" Jane asked. "Well, thanks."

"Alright, well, I gotta dash to O'Neill's. I hope he doesn't give an assignment like that." And Finn darted off down the hallway. And then Finn just realized what he had said to Jane.

"_Did I say she was pretty?" _Finn thought. And Jane, still standing where she was, realized what it was Finn had said as well.

Finn wasn't the only person who reacted to Jane at school. More people, people who didn't know who she was, starting talking to her. They wondered if she was new in town, asked her what she liked to do. To her surprise, most people thought it was cool when she said she was an artist.

"_What does that mean?" _Jane thought. People never even addressed her. Much less praise her about art.

"_I guess society truly does care more about beautiful people." _Jane thought. She returned home after school to catch a quick episode of Sick, Sad, World, and then began looking at a painting she had started yesterday. She didn't like it, and was wondering if there was a way to salvage it.

"Hey, Janey!" Trent called into the room.

"I wanted to know if I could borrow some...whoa!" Trent's eyes went wide when he regarded Jane.

"What is it?" Jane remarked.

"Ummm...you're wearing body glitter." Trent remarked quizzically.

"I'm doing an assignment about failure." Jane remarked.

"Janey, uhhh, did that quarterback make you do this?" Trent remarked. "You don't have to do something just to make someone like you."

"Trent, were you paying attention?" Jane asked a question she already knew the answer to. Trent paid attention. Whether or not he comprehended was a question Jane could not answer.

"No Trent, Finn didn't put me up to this." Jane answered.

"Good. So this is a school assignment?" Trent asked.

"Yeah."

"Ummm...you're not at school. Why are you still doing it?" Trent asked.

"There's no need to change right now." Jane answered.

"Oh. Ummm...okay." Trent left the room to answer the doorbell. Figuring it to be Tom, and wanting him to be reached before the end of the week, Jane descended the steps to answer the door before Trent did. Sure enough, her boyfriend stood there in the doorway.

"Hm, do I have the wrong...Jane!" Tom's eyes went wider than Trent's did.

"Hey, skater boy." Jane teased.

"Did you open one too many cans of lead-based paint?" Tom wondered.

"Nope. Just getting my look on. Kiss me."

"Well, I guess I can be commanded to do that." Tom remarked as he kissed Jane. Once the kiss was finished, Tom had a slight look of unease.

"Are you using lip gloss?" Tom asked.

"Kiwi-flavored." Jane remarked.

"I can taste." Tom turned around to wipe his mouth.

"Too much, huh?" Jane remarked.

"Yeah. You alright, Jane?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm doing this crappy assignment where I have to fail at something, so I picked being conventional."

"But aren't you succeeding at that?" Tom asked.

"I'm just going to do this for a while until this crappy assignment ends. And then, back to normal." Jane remarked.

"So, if it's a school assignment, why are you doing it now?" Tom asked.

"That damn sense of honesty of mine."

"I always told you it would bite you." Tom cracked.

"But it actually worked out." Jane remarked, somewhat sadly.

"What worked?"

"The conventional thing." Jane answered. "Lots of people talked to me at school, and one guy even asked me on a date."

"He...I hope you told him no." Tom swallowed to hide his surprise.

"Don't worry. Your prep school lips are the only ones for me."

"That was a little creepy."

"It's just a little weird, that's all." Jane remarked. "I was always this outcast from class, and I changed my look, and all of a sudden, I'm a new person. I wonder if that's why Finn always focuses on the way he looks."

"Jane, the fact that you don't care about that stuff is what's cool." Tom answered.

"Thanks. Like I said, it's just for the lame assignment."

"Okay. I can deal with that." Tom kissed Jane on the cheek. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. But Jane still felt weird.

Jane and Tom had decided to watch Finn at the football game that day before hitting the movies. While Jane herself didn't care much about football and only went as a favor to Finn, Tom liked football as much as the next guy. This game was not as spectacular as the one where Finn first played as quarterback, and there was not a large crowd, but he was still playing very well.

Once the game ended, Finn started off the field towards the school's locker room. He removed his helmet. Jane and Tom made their way over to him.

"Hey guys. Glad you decided to come." Finn smiled at them.

"You did pretty good out there, Finn." Jane returned. "Glad to come out. Hey, Tom, we gotta hurry before the movie starts." And Jane ran off towards Tom's car.

"So, what do you think about Jane's new digs?" Finn chuckled.

"Not...what I was expecting." Tom returned.

"I think it looks pretty cool. There's nothing wrong with taking a little pride in your appearance."

"I liked Jane just the way she was."

"Hey, I wasn't trying to make a crack." Finn returned. "I'm just saying mixing things up is not a bad thing. The same old gets boring after a while."

"It's kind of weird, that's all. I wasn't trying to insult you."

"Don't worry about it, then."

"Just to be sure, this is some assignment she's doing for some teacher, right?" Tom asked.

"That's what she told me, anyway. We're not in the same grade so I can't say. Why?"

"Just thought I'd ask. Thanks." Tom started back towards his car. He still didn't understand Finn's relationship with Jane very well. He knew how it started, but it was their feelings Tom truly couldn't understand. Jane was a fiercely independent woman with a mind of her own and took no crap from anyone. But Finn's opinion meant a lot to her. And the two of them had a very flirtatious attitude with each other.

Jane was rather risque in her behaviors, Tom knew. She moved a bit faster then he was used to, not that he was complaining. But there was still a very teasing relationship she had with Finn. She often paid him the same sorts of flirtations she gave to her boyfriend.

"_Are...are you two..." _Tom couldn't even finish the thought in his head.

* * *

Three days passed since the football game, and being conventional only got easier for Jane. Girls in the hallway stopped and asked her if she was knew in town, more guys asked her for a date. She was even invited to a party thrown by a freshman. Jane turned the invitation down: Trent had a gig that night and Jane was driving the gang, using Tom as her honorary roadie. He fell for it as easily as Finn did, although Jane suspected Tom knew what it entailed, and was just being polite.

She sighed as she entered Pizza Palace and got herself a slice. This was so confusing. Nothing about her changed other than her look, but that was all that mattered. She wasn't as popular as Finn was, but she was asked to more dates and parties these past couple of days then the previous nearly-seventeen years of her life.

And she didn't mind it, and that's the part that shocked Jane the most. It was easy to fit in. Perhaps it was too easy.

"_Am...Am I really one of them?" _Jane thought. It wasn't as horrific as she thought. After all, not everyone in the popular world was a brain-dead dumbass, or any of the more colorful insults Mr. DeMartino mentioned.

"_Or most of them." _Jane thought. The only one she knew to be decent was Finn. He had called her pretty. Compliments dripped from his mouth like a hemorrhaging wound dripped blood, but it was still nice all the same. Is t hat how he got the girls to jump through hoops for him: right words, right time, and the right way to say it? Or was he actually sincere with Jane?

"_This is getting way too complicated." _Jane sighed.

"Hey!" A voice called from over the other booth. Jane pivoted her head to notice a few girls. Cheerleaders, if she remembered. They were all wearing the Lawndale uniform.

"Hello." Jane remarked. Cheerleaders all had too much bounce, too much boobs, and too much cheerfulness. The entire squad was little more then chipmunks on acid.

"My name's Lisa." The girl introduced. "Are you new in school?"

"No." Jane answered. Lisa was friendly enough, but rarely did people approach unless they wanted something. Jane knew to be wary.

"I'm Nikki!" Another girl answered.

"Angie! I'm the captain!" Another girl, Jane sometimes remembered seeing her around Brittany, eagerly chimed in. To Jane's surprise, Brittany was not around these girls.

"We were just wondering, have you ever done cheerleading before?" Lisa asked. Jane's eyes widened in surprise.

"I...can't say that I have." Jane tried her best to cover.

"You go to Lawndale High, right?"

"I do." Jane answered.

"Great! You see, we're looking for fresh new faces to put on the squad." Angie asked. "And you'd be perfect!"

"I would?"

"Of course." Nikki replied.

"As cheer captain, I would know, and you do." Angie remarked. Jane was surprised at the compliment. Angie, like all cheerleaders, was dumb as all hell. She didn't even realize that she and Jane had the same class at least three times a day, and had done so since high school started. But Angie was so upbeat and perky with her compliment that it was hard not to take a sweet word seriously from her. It was painfully nauseating, but not entirely bad.

"Well...I'll...I'll think about it." Jane noted.

"Tryouts are next week. Hope to see you!" Angie and the girls cleared out of their table.

"_Did I just consider cheerleading?" _Jane thought. That was the type of thought she'd only consider with an extreme compelling reason. Like a shotgun to the face, but even then fell just short.

"_And yet..." _Jane stared at her slice of pizza. These cheerleaders would never have given her the time of day, much less ask her for the squad. And now here they were.

"_Finn was right. The way you look is a powerful weapon. And I suppose I should learn to use it, like any good despot. Wait a minute, am I caring about how I look?" _And Jane sighed again as she stared into her slice.

Jane headed home immediately after getting pizza. Tom was supposed to be coming over, but she still had about thirty minutes. She took a quick shower, got dressed, and then headed back to her room. She grabbed her paintbrush and stared at the blank white canvas, and then, there was nothing.

"_Nothing?" _Jane questioned. She never had no idea what to do before. Sure, sometimes she had awful ideas that wouldn't go anywhere, but she could at least chastise them in her mind for daring to make themselves known. But there was nothing.

"_What am I, losing my touch? Ever since I started this conventional assignment, I haven't been able to do any of this at all." _Jane paused. For a second, she considered putting her normal clothes back on, but that was stupid. It didn't matter what she wore to paint. Thoughts came from the mind, not the body. Only urges came from the body.

Jane's eyes fell upon her bed, and she sat down for a moment. Tom was coming by, so she couldn't nap, but she could at least stretch herself on the bed. She kicked off her clunky sandals and stretched on the bed, her hands grabbing two pillows.

She sighed. She thought this was just another A she could squeak out of O'Neill's class. A good thing too, her Language Arts grade was not as high as she wanted it to be. While Jane didn't care much about grades, she still had her pride. She had a personal reputation as a C student, and she was damned set on keeping it.

Jane heard a noise, and thought it may have been Tom. They were past the stage of ringing the doorbell, and Jane figured Tom might be headed upstairs. She got up from the bed to put her sandals on. Before she found them, she found herself in front of her mirror still holding the two pillows.

"_Why was I..." _Jane thought, and then she looked at herself in the mirror. The two pillows reminded her of those stupid pom-poms the cheerleaders waved.

"_I'm not seriously considering cheerleading, am I? That's not me. I don't do peppy, and I certainly don't do football." _Jane thought.

"_Then again, what is me anymore? I thought I was an outcast artist who hated to wake up in the morning, and here I am, not painting. Considering cheerleading." _

"Rah." Jane waved the pillow lightly in her hand, and said the most unenthusiastic cheer she could think of. Not to her surprise, it sounded bored and very un-cheerleader.

"_Okay. That settles that." _Jane said to herself. But she continued to look at the mirror.

"_Of course you'd think that. You tried to fail at it. Try it again with your best not give a damn attitude!" _Jane thought.

"Rah, rah!" Jane waved the pillows up in the air. It was still weird, but it didn't feel bad. She half-expected a flaming crack in the earth to open beneath her when she did it.

"Yeah, yeah, we're gonna win!" Jane cheered a bit more as she waved the pom-poms.

That felt weird to Jane, but again, it didn't feel like she did something wrong. But things got a lot weirder when she turned around and noticed Tom in the doorway.

"Were you just cheering. As in cheerleading?" Tom's eyebrow raised nearly to the ceiling. He and Jane had made plans tonight to visit an art gallery. But now Tom wondered if those plans would still be on.

"Yeah." Jane looked back at the mirror, and the pillows fell out of her hands limply. She didn't get scared like Tom thought she would, as if she was surprised. Rather, she seemed...down. Really down.

"Is something wrong?" Tom asked pleasantly.

"I don't know." Jane remarked, still not looking at Tom.

"So you wanted to test out the other waters and saw them for the trite shallow superficiality it is. No one's faulting you." Tom noted.

"It's not that. This was easy." Jane returned.

"Easy?"

"Too easy." She answered. "I tried to fit in and I did."

"As opposed to not trying and being the cool person you are normally?" Tom walked over to Jane and watched her slump to the floor.

"Who is the normal Jane?"

"The one you are normally." Tom answered. There was silence as Jane continued to look sad in the mirror.

"They asked me for the cheerleading squad. And I think I'm going to try out."

"Jane, have you gone insane."

"Have I? I'm asking you." Jane finally turned to face Tom. He was about to answer quickly, but he paused. This truly bothered her. Why would that be? Tom did not know Jane for very long, but she knew who she was. She did things on her terms, that's what made her so interesting.

"Who asked you to the squad?" Tom asked.

"The cheerleaders." Jane answered.

"_Hmmm..." _Tom didn't know who these cheerleaders were, and they certainly wouldn't listen to a stranger. But, if Tom remembered the insipid politics of high school correctly, cheerleaders and football players went hand-in-hand. And Tom knew just who to ask.

Tom had never been to the Morgendorffer house before. He hoped Daria wouldn't be there. While Tom did his damndest to be polite to her, she was completely unreceptive to him. While she wasn't as hostile as she was, she certainly didn't put forth the slightest effort of kindness.

"_I'm here for Finn, anyway." _Tom knocked on the door. And luck smiled on him, for Finn answered the door.

"Oh? Tom?" Finn was clearly surprised to hear from him.

"Hey, can we talk?" Tom asked.

"You look serious." Finn remarked. "Well, my room's as private as it gets here." Finn led Tom up to his bedroom, decorated exactly as much as Tom thought it would be.

"What's up?" Finn asked.

"Have you noticed Jane?" Tom noted, before realizing that he certainly would have, considering Jane showed up to the football game yesterday.

"Yeah? She changed her look around." Finn noted.

"She was invited to try out for the cheerleading squad." Tom answered.

"What? Why would....hmmm, Angie mentioned something finding new talent since Brittany was talking about pronunciation of some kinds of weapons." Finn noted.

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know, she was babbling. Anyway, Jane's trying out for the squad?"

"That's what she said. And I saw her with two pillows for pom-poms to prove it." Tom answered.

"Wow. That's just...wow." Finn remarked.

"Isn't it weird?" Tom remarked.

"Well, whatever she wants to do, I say go for it. Jane's done sports before when she did track."

"Finn, does this remotely seem like Jane to you?" Tom asked.

"No. But she's the same person."

"I don't know about that." Tom remarked. "I kind of worried."

"I'm not." Finn returned. "Jane's a tough girl, and brighter then she says. She's going to be all right."

"I mean psychologically. Why is Jane so bent out of shape?"

"She did an assignment and found out something different. She tried to be like everyone else and it ended up suiting her. What's the problem?"

"It just seems like she's lost her confidence. She never follows the mainstream. It's actually kind of depressing."

"Oh, well, what do you want me to do about it? It's her call to make."

"It is, but I think she's having a real crisis of identity, and I think she needs the advice of someone who is part of that crowd."

"But you know I'm no good at these kinds of talks." Finn protested. "I don't want to influence her to do wrong."

"Well, I'm going to try and talk to her about this when she thinks about things for a while. But, you know, if you were there with me, we might be able to help her out."

"I'll...I'll think about it." Finn sighed as Tom let himself out.

"_This is odd." _Finn thought. Jane, cheerleading? Stranger then had happened. His eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets when he heard Jane did track. But, cheerleading? What would give Jane that idea? Peppy she was not, she didn't like such routines, and the workouts even less so. What would give her that idea.

"_The fact that she didn't fail?" _Finn thought. Possibly. Probably. But there was another thought he couldn't dismiss.

"_Because...because of what I told her? Is Jane interested in me like that?" _

_

* * *

_

Finn knew that he would have to work quickly with Jane. Cheerleading tryouts were in two days, after all, and she needed to be spoken to before then.

At first, Finn didn't think he knew what the problem was. Jane was making her own decision. Sure, it was told to her by Angie, but Jane, of all people, knew how to use her own mind.

But Finn knew, of all things, Jane was not a cheerleader. Not at all. There were many reasons for saying so, but ultimately, Jane was not the kind of girl who provided pep.

Ever since she started dressing conventionally, Jane had been accepted into more social circles, and not against her will. Daria would probably be livid, but Tom was actually concerned she was losing her identity.

"_How do you lose that?" _Finn wondered. People did weird things, but they couldn't forget who they were, could they? Without amnesia or something.

Finn reasoned there was nothing he could do but go over and see her for himself. He bounded out the door quickly and soon made his walk over to Jane's.

As the sun started to set and Finn continued on his march, he started wondering if maybe Tom was the one in the wrong. There was nothing wrong with cheerleaders; Tom found them horrific, for some reason. It wasn't as if Brittany ever tried to lay her hands on Tom. To Finn's knowledge, of course. Brittany was a fast mover.

Perhaps it was one of those childhood trauma things. There was nothing wrong with cheerleaders. Finn didn't need them, but they entertained the crowd with their multiple forms of bouncing. That was enough.

Finn finally reached Jane's, and he strode up to the door. Jane was just experimenting. People their age did that. Perhaps, Finn thought, he should encourage the fact that her idea of experimenting was not Brittany's. After the last game, Finn felt Brittany get a grab on his crotch as he passed her by. Never was more thankful then to be armored up in his uniform.

Finn rose his fist to knock. It was odd that Jane was a cheerleader, but she was sensible. She'd come to her own conclusions. Finn should push her.

He lowered his fist and walked away back to his place. Halfway there, he started calling himself a coward.

Jane told Daria of last night's revelation about cheerleading, and, unsurprisingly, she joined Tom in the "my-heads-about-to-explode" department.

"_Heh. 2 for 1 sale. Oh my god, I just made a shopping joke!" _Jane was surprised.

"What's wrong with you?" Daria asked.

"I don't know." Jane remarked sadly. "This was too easy, fitting in. I need to go in there and see it for myself. Maybe I just hated all this peppy crap because I was scared it really was me, not because of what they do."

"Jane, you know yourself better than this." Daria commented. "You know you're not a cheerleader."

"Are you just saying that because you're worried we won't hang out if I become one of them?"

"Jane, you aren't one of them. You're sensible and not suffering from stupid syndrome."

"What is sensible? Going against the grain when you know you can't change it."

"It's not about change, it's about principles." Daria returned. "It's about doing your thing because it's right. Convincing others to abandon superficiality is not the purpose, it's an after-effect."

"Daria, I don't even know what my principles are anymore. I tried to paint yesterday and I got nothing. Then I was holding two pillows and cheering in front of the mirror, and it was easy. And then Tom showed up and we started..."

"This was Tom's idea?"

"Daria, don't be stupid.' Jane criticized.

"Yeah, I guess Tom's not into that." Daria commented. "Wait a minute, Tom might not be, but did Finn..."

"Daria, I haven't seen your brother since the football game." Jane returned.

"So he knows you're doing the conventional thing?"

"Yeah, he told me it looked pretty good." Jane remarked. There was silence.

"Daria?" Jane turned around to see her friend who was walking a step behind her. She was no longer there.

"_Uh-oh, gas fire. Sorry about that, Finn." _

Finn found Mr. O'Neill's class more insufferable than ever, but this might have to do with the fact that he was constantly sobbing, calling himself a failure. He didn't give the class any work, and just said he'd cause more harm than good.

"_And if you were actually..." _Finn did not like Mr. O'Neill, and would not lift a finger to help him. His assessment of himself was accurate:

Finn stopped at his locker after the class to put his books away. He wouldn't need his English work tonight. Once he withdrew his hand from his locker and started to unzip his backpack, his locker door quickly slammed shut. Finn turned towards the locker to discover his sister, looking full of wrath and not the least bit excited.

"Let me guess." Finn started.

"I don't have time for this crap. What the hell did you do to Jane?" Daria demanded.

"Daria, I haven't seen Jane for days. She's been out with Tom."

"She's joining the cheerleading squad."

"Yeah, Tom mentioned that. So what? She wants to do what she wants to do. You should know that of all people."

"What did you tell her? Tell her she'd make a good cheerleader, offer to put a good word in?"

"Daria, you're acting like...well, I guess this is normal." Finn remarked. "Seriously, chill out."

"I will not chill out, you bastard. I knew this was..."

"An evil plan, steal Jane, yadda yadda. Jesus Christ, Daria, I thought you were passed this. Jane does her own thing. You know this. Let her make her own decisions."

"The keyword is her." Daria returned.

"So I told her she looked pretty. She did. That's not a crime. I'm not trying to date Jane; she had a boyfriend. I don't do that." Finn clarified.

"So why the hell is she doing cheerleading?"

"Beats me. I only heard about it from Tom yesterday." Finn replied. Daria seemed to calm down.

"Daria, you really need some more friends." Finn lectured. "You go so ballistic whenever Jane..."

"I'm not going to be lectured by a guy with straight C's."

"Daria, having friends clearly matters to you if you're so bent out of shape when you think you're losing them. And speaking of friends, I have to go meet mine." And Finn took off down the hallway.

The pep rally was where cheerleaders tried out. The school seemed to host a lot of them, and Finn always found it a little strange, but ultimately he didn't care. He was on a mission, and soon he found his target. Jane, along with a few other girls, were dressed in Lawndale cheerleader attire. Finn actually found it rather hot, but tried not to think about it. He motioned over to Jane to pull her over close to the bleachers. Angie wouldn't bust his chops if the quarterback was talking to the cheerleaders, and if she did, Finn would just wink and flex, and Angie would forget she was even standing up.

"Hey. So, you're actually doing this, huh?" Finn remarked.

"Well..." Jane trailed off. "I suppose I am."

"Want me to put in a good word to Angie for you. She'll do anything I say." Finn offered.

"Anything? Wow, I really do underestimate the power of looking good."

"Jane, would you be angry if I said this is weird."

"No, that's all I've been getting all day. How did you hear about this anyway?" Jane asked.

"Word travels." Finn neglected to mention both Tom and Daria's concerns.

"Anyway, this is what you want to do."

"I don't know." Jane remarked.

"Jane, cheerleading takes commitment. It's not the same as fitting in."

"But this is what those kinds of people do." Jane noted.

"That makes you happy?" Finn asked.

"I need to face my demons."

"Cheerleading is a demon?"

"Before we started being friends, I thought all this stuff was that. But then I tried it for myself and found it was easy. Maybe being an artist was just the resistance of youth."

"This really bothers you, doesn't it." Finn remarked.

"Yeah, it does."

"Then do it, Jane. I'll be waiting outside. I'll support whatever decision you make, as long as it's yours. That's the Jane I'm friends with. That's the Jane I respect." Finn smiled, and headed outside of the gymnasium.

"_Heh." _Jane thought to herself as Finn exited. He's support her no matter what? Good to know: Daria was unambiguously hostile, and Tom was just weirded out. It was nice to have someone who supported you like that.

She returned to the bleachers to watch Angie's short demonstration of what cheerleading was all about, not that Jane thought it was anything different after going to Finn's football games.

"Go ahead." Angie offered Jane. Jane strode up to the front with the pair of real pom-poms. The first time she ever held things like that. She positioned herself to start.

"Just say 'rah, rah, Lions rule!'" Angie instructed. "Just real basic." Jane nodded, but her head was somewhere else. The only Jane Finn was friends with was the one that made her own decisions. He only respected the decision she herself made.

"_What is my decision?" _She thought. "_What is right anymore?" _Jane thought. And then her mind wandered for a second.

She thought of herself on the cheerleading pyramid, pom-poms in the air cheering on the winning Lions. After the routine was done, she strode over to Finn, sweaty in his Lawndale Lions uniform.

"Hey, QB, care to share some of that victory mojo?" Jane puckered up.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Finn crossed his arms across his chest. "Sorry, come back when you're not some bubblegum stupass." And Finn grabbed his football and went back towards the school.

"_Just like Finn was at that dance. When you respected how he told off the mean girls, the prank players, the bitches, both normal and psychos. This isn't the Jane he respected; this isn't the Jane Daria was friends with; it's not the Jane Tom dates; and it's not the Jane you want to be."_

Jane threw her pom-poms down.

"Cheer for the Lions." She said in a deadpan voice. "Cheer like you care. Kill them all and serve them rare." The cheerleaders shrieked at Jane's violent saying. Jane, however, was already out the door.

"I hope you'll at least serve me medium rare. I look good with a tan." Finn chuckled once Jane exited the auditorium.

"I need to go home and change. Then I gotta call Tom."

"I'm sure he'll understand." Finn remarked.

"Hey, thanks for smacking me across the face."

"One good turn deserves another."

"It really helped."

"Hey, it's the friend thing."

"If only it were tax-deductible."Jane remarked. "You're not...disappointed?"

"You're satisfied. That was all I cared about." Finn answered. "I'm...just...uhhh..."

"What?" Jane asked. Finn fidgeted in place like a kid who need to use the bathroom. Hie thighs were clenched together.

"Hey, it's okay. Don't you gotta change?"

"Oh, yeah. Now I reemember why I hate body glitter. The laughable stupidity of this all might make a good painting. I'll see you around." Jane darted off out of the school.

Once Finn was alone, he was able to unclench his thighs, that he used to hide his embarrassing erection. He was glad Jane was back to normal, but he didn't ask her about the why. Why did she do such a thing? Was it because of Finn, and what he said?

And, if that wasn't worse enough, now he had another compounding problem. Jane's assertiveness and her decision-making was attractive. Very attractive. Finn's wood never lied to him about what he liked.

"_But...Jane has Tom. She likes Tom. They are happy, and they should be. They're both cool. I don't want to think about Jane like that. I don't want to ruin things for her. She's too cool for that. Get soft, damn you!" _

But Finn couldn't as long as he thought of Jane.


	27. Helen and the Boys

While Finn sat at the dinner table, performing his usual dinner activity of reading an exercise magazine, his father was eagerly reading a pamphlet on some marketing conference.

Finn hated it when his father left for marketing conferences. They usually lasted several days, which meant Finn had to be away from his father for such a period. Finn never understood the importance of such workshops, but he was not in the business like his father was.

"_Not that you need them, Dad. You can make anything look better." _Finn praised.

"Now, Jake, I did agree to come to this conference with you, but I don't need to actually attend the workshops, do I?" Helen asked.

"Of course not. Not if you don't want to."

"Good." Helen remarked. "As much as I love to take trips with you, Jakey, I don't see how a Martian-themed restaurant will help me win cases."

"Mom, surely you understand the value of a bribe?" Daria teased.

"Where does the Martian come in?" Finn returned.

"Kids make fantastic weapons. That's why they do it in the civil wars in Africa." Daria answered.

"So we'll leave on Thursday evening. You can leave your car in the office parking lot?" Jake asked his wife.

"I've already told Eric." Helen remarked.

"So, Daria, when you come home, I'll be here." Jake explained. "We'll get your mother, go to the airport, and then you'll drive the Lexus back here."

"Easy enough, but don't blame me if I use the car for a few activities afterwards. The road from the airport to the highway has a lot of places to dump bodies."

"Wait, the airport?" Finn asked. "You're both...you're going to leave me with Daria all weekend?"

"Remember the dumping. I'm going to need a body to test it. You'll do just fine."

"Daria." Helen cautioned.

"Oh, fantastic. Well, I suppose I could..."

"Finn, don't even think about scheduling dates. You're not going to be out with women when I'm not around to check on you."

"Oh, come on!" Finn pleaded. "I'm not going to do that nasty stuff. I've got more class then that."

"There's some women in Fremont who might think differently." Daria commended snidely. Finn passed his finger across his throat and glared at Daria.

"What was that about Fremont?" Jake asked.

"Nothing, Dad." Daria returned. Finn sighed, although he knew it was just because Daria didn't want to get in trouble for taking the car there.

"Why don't you two each invite a friend over?"

"Wouldn't that have the same problem?" Finn asked. "I mean, I'm inviting a guy over and then Daria's down the hall..."

"Finn, you're not being funny. Nothing will happen since it's your friend and her friend, not who you choose." Helen chided. A decent cover, but Finn knew the real reason.

"_Of course. She wouldn't do anything like that, you trust her. Me, you just think I screw everything that moves." _Finn thought. Just more of his mother's unabashed favoritism.

* * *

Finn had already settled on inviting Tom over for the weekend. It was only fair, considering it would not be right to invite just one of his buddies without the other. That might cause some thoughts of favoritism, and Finn did not do that. Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie were equally important friends. While Finn trusted Joey more in a fight, Jamie on the football field, and Jeffy pretty much the rest of the time, each of them were awesome, fantastic friends and they were all important to him.

Tom, to Finn's surprise, was actually eager to hear about it.

"I assume Daria will probably just go to Jane's."

"Just as well. We were going to go bowling, but this sounds more fun. Besides, you get a better deal bowling during the weekdays anyway." Finn had called Tom an hour after his mother allowed the invitation.

"_Heh." _Finn thought with a smile. This would actually be kind of fun. Just a night of hanging out. Finn knew that Tom did not drink, so he decided not to find some alcohol, but there would be a nice, quiet night away from his mother and sister with a good chum to catch the game with.

Finn always wondered why he got more date requests for days he couldn't make. It was as if Fate conspired to make him decline them.

"_Oh well, most of the girls here aren't that exciting anyway. I have an excuse now." _

"Sorry." Finn told some girl whose name he couldn't remember. "I'm not dating anyone this weekend. But do go to that boxing match."

"I hate boxing!" The girl moped as she started to turn away.

"So why are you dating me?" Finn challenged her.

"Yeah, I can still hear, you know." Finn noted. "You really shouldn't have bought those tickets without asking me first. Alright, sayonara!" Finn turned around, leaving the girl to her humiliation. He didn't make it far when he was stopped by his buddies.

"Finn, you're not going to the boxing match?" Joey asked.

"No." Finn returned. "I'm not going on any dates this weekend. I just wanna relax and hang out with my friends."

"Aw, I feel special." Jeffy returned. "So, when do we stop by?"

"Huh?" Finn asked.

"You're letting us come too, right?" Jamie asked. "We've never stayed over at your place before. And you can catch the match on cable, right?"

"Ummm...sure!" Finn blurted out quickly. He knew that Jamie wasn't trying to coerce anything; Jamie was always that blunt.

"I was...I was trying to figure out how to ask you guys without, you know, making things sound weird. I mean, asking buddies to stay over makes it sound like a date or something."

"I'll bring my poker chips!" Jeffy remarked.

"I only just learned how to play Hold `em." Jamie continued. "But I'm still the best bluffer out of all of you."

"I can also bring a few video games. You got the biggest TV. I've got four light guns." Joey continued.

"Perfect!" Finn remarked. "I mean for me. I'm the best shot."

"Like hell you are!" Joey remarked.

"All right, I'm gonna turn down that date with Gina Neamon." Jeffy returned.

"I gotta reschedule too." Jamie returned.

"You don't need to...aw, hell, you guys can always reschedule. I'd rather have all of you hang out anyway." Finn answered with a large smile. All he had to do was make sure he got Daria out of the house before everyone showed up. Daria was still awkward around Tom, according to Jane. She'd go herself if she knew Tom was staying over. All Finn had to do was let her know. And that might even be taken care of. Daria would only ask Jane to stay over, and Jane would tell her about Tom. Daria would invite herself over to Jane's. Daria would sleep over there, and the final obstacle in the greatest boy's night ever would be removed.

"_There are some great opportunities in this world to have a good time. You just got to know what the hell to do with them!" _Finn thought with a smile as he headed of to Mr. DeMartino's class.

* * *

Finn returned home following the end of the school day. It was Thursday, so the parents were still going to be home tonight. Finn might as well show his mother he was being a good boy, but not an obvious good boy. No reason to give his mother reason to panic and stay home this weekend. Who knew what she would plan.

"Eric, what are you talking about?" Helen was in the kitchen, on the phone with Eric. Jake was eagerly reading over more pamphlets for the conference, while Daria was seated with a book. He wondered if Jane had told her about Tom's plans for the weekend yet.

"Eric, PortaFry has already agreed to the surgery, what more to those two-timing greedy bastards want...you've got to be kidding!" Helen continued to talk into the phone, ignoring the fact that Finn walked in.

"They honestly think they can get...that's exortion. Alright, Eric, I'll be there. We're not going to let those...oh. Oh, really. Oh, Eric, you're so sweet. Well, being a hard worker is what I do best. I'll see you tomorrow. Alright, bye."

"Aw, Helen!" Jake, having listened to Helen's end of the call, could figure out what it was about.

"I'm sorry, Jake, but the class action suit is back on. I'm afraid I'll be booked solid."

"But Helen, I can't get a refund on these!"

"Jake, the tickets are tax-deductible." Helen returned. "You're getting repaid another way."

"Oh, sure." Jake scowled. "Another huge case comes back on and everything else have to get shoved aside. Is this your idea of a joke, Dad!" Jake's hands balled into fists as he stared at the ground. Hell, Finn supposed.

"Hey, this conference is by the Museum of Medical Oddities." Daria had taken a look at the pamphlets once Jake put them down.

"Dad, if I write something down for you, can you pick it up for me?"

"No sweat!" Jake cheered. "Wait, medical oddities...ewww!"

"That's gross, Daria." Finn returned.

"Now, Jake, you didn't even need me for this conference..." Helen and Jake took their arguments into the living room.

"Did I tell you that Tom is coming over for the weekend."

"Tom? I thought you invited your football buddies to stay over."

"I invited Tom first, but then they said they'd bring over...I'm only human, Daria. And besides, it's all guys. There's not going to be anything funny going on."

"So you say." Daria returned.

"Daria, I like girls, and so do they."

"If you say so." Daria replied with ambivalence, and Finn knew she didn't care if he invited one, two, or twenty friends over. She would make plans to not be around.

"I was just telling you so you can ask Jane early."

"Actually, I'm making other plans."

"You, other plans?" Finn crossed his arms across his chest. "What the hell would you be doing outside the house."

"Actually, this plan came up just a few minutes ago." Daria returned. "I'm thinking I can get a trip to the Museum of Medical Oddities if I offer to go with Dad."

"Huh?" Finn was perplexed. Although he, occasionally, went with his father to those conferences, school permitting, Daria never wanted to go.

"Daria, that will gross out Dad!"

"He doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to. Besides, I'll need something to do when he's at the conference." Daria answered. This was certainly the oddest thing Finn had heard all day, but if Daria was away, there'd be no way she could interfere in Finn's plans for the boy's night. And, if that weekend case his mother was working on was as big as the argument his parents were having, she'd probably book a hotel room near her office to be there all the time. He'd have the house to himself.

There was no need to amend the plans. This was fine enough. An impromptu party would probably make things worse. Besides, a poker-playing, hard gaming, no-women boy's night in an empty house. That was fantastic.

"You be nice to Dad." Finn instructed.

"I am nice to Dad."

"I mean make a damn effort. Don't gross him out or make him nervous..."

"Finn, Dad hates flying. He's going to be nervous without my encouragement." Daria replied. Finn knew this to be true, but Daria always compounded situations. As much as Finn loved his father, he knew that he was quite neurotic, and Daria would tease him. After all, it was easy to do. Finn simply resisted the temptation. His father did not deserve it.

"Well, looks like the war's coming too a close. I'd better tell Dad." Daria stood up from the table, gathered the pamphlets and left.

"_Not exactly according to plan, but whatev." _Finn thought. The boy's night was still on. And, according to the bits of the argument he was hearing his parents say, his father was getting some new golf clubs out of the deal.

* * *

Jake agreeed to let Daria accompany him on the trip. There was going to be no school missed, and Finn had already invited one of his friends over. The tickets wouldn't go to waste, and they would still be tax-deductible.

"You know, Jake, this change of plans doesn't have to be negative." Helen stated. It was nighttime and Helen had already changed and gotten into bed, reviewing some files for that PortaFry case, whatever it was.

"Of course not, I'm getting golf clubs." Jake reminded.

"I mean you'll be spending the weekend with Daria. Just the two of you, with no hope of her possibly escaping."

"Helen, I'm going to be in and out of conferences." Jake replied. "And Daria hates sitting by the pool."

"Jake, you attend three workshops that are an hour and a half each day, and Daria's free to do whatever she wants then. For the rest of the downtime, you're there as her father, she's a minor. Spend some time with her, bond with her. Get to know her."

"But Daria's fine!" Jake protested.

"Jake, this isn't a matter of whether or not Daria has a problem. It's about getting to know her." Helen remarked. "Jake, our children may be growing up, but they are still both children and ours. Get to know her dreams, her hopes, and all of that. They still need parental advice and encouragement from time to time and it would help if I wasn't the only one doing it with Daria."

"It would help if I wasn't the only one with Finn either." Helen heard Jake mutter.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, dear." Jake reacted with fear. "But, Daria doesn't want any of that!"

"It doesn't matter whether she wants it, what matters is she knows it. Knows that it's there. And if you get to know her better, you'll be able to encourage her more to develop those people skills. After all, Jake, your life's blood is interaction with people."

"Hey, yeah! And maybe when you're free, you'll be able to spend time with Finn!" Jake remarked. Helen paused at that thought. There would be no time for Finn this weekend. Not with PortaFry. That case was huge, and the prestige it would bring the firm was legendary. Helen remembered when Eric first introduced the case. He was already doing his happy dance. And if she showed the firm her dedication now, Eric assured her that her name would be brought up in the discussions about partnership next week.

Partner, the legendary dream. Even back in Highland, she hadn't made it that far. Of course, she did leave the firm to have both Daria and Finn, and didn't resume work for four years. That put a real damper on that. But to make partner now would be legendary. She'd only been in town for not even two years. To be considered now would be almost heresy, but she put in the time, she put in the effort, and showed them she took no prisoners. Never. She knew how to show her dedication.

"I'll see what I can do, Jake." Helen remarked as she continued to review the file. Much as she'd like to spend time with her son, Finn was a lot scarier then any client. He had a good memory, and he would not have forgotten that big football game Helen tried to make but didn't. And he didn't believe in the benefit of the doubt.

"_Maybe..." _Helen thought to herself. The case might not take all weekend. And that friend of Finn's, Tom, would be gone Sunday morning. There might be some time for lunch. A quick one, of course. Who knew what other cases would come up.

* * *

When Friday rolled around, Jake and Daria left for the conference. Helen drove them to the airport and then drove the Lexus back to the house. Once she got back, however, Eric called her cellular.

"Helen, they settled!" Eric remarked as Helen turned into the driveway.

"They what?" Helen remarked in amazement. "I thought you said they were determined to..."

"Bastards knew we were playing hardball, and they folded up when they knew we meant business."

"Ha! I'm sure those bastards are curled up in the fetal position crying right now. But I wish I had heard about this earlier. Jake was going to a conference and I blew him off for..."

"Take the weekend off, Helen. But don't worry, I didn't forget my promise. The case may have been settled, but those guys will know it was Helen Morgendorffer who was right there ready to strike." Eric commented as Helen walked in the door.

"Oh? But my husband took my daughter out for the weekend."

"Hey, that means your son is still there, right? Get him those cleats yet?"

"No, Eric."

"Hey, you think Finn knows a good exercise for your glutes."

"Oh, Eric, you and your glutes." Helen chuckled as she went inside the house. She saw Finn in the kitchen, pouring chips into a bowl.

"A man's...wait, Helen, I gotta take this call. See you Monday." And Eric hung up quickly without another word.

"Hello, Finn." Helen remarked.

"Mom?" Finn was surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"They settled. So I guess it's just going to be you and me this weekend. Wow, that's a lot of ammunition for just you and Tom. I am looking forward to meeting this new friend of yours. You said he was Jane's boyfriend?' Helen regarded the bowls of snacks. Finn had chips, pretzels, nachos, and two cases of soda.

"Errr...yeah. Listen, I kinda invited my three football buddies over as well as Tom."

"Finn!" Helen was aghast. "I was quite clear when I said only one friend."

"But Mom, the whole house was going to be empty and we have all the best stuff. Now I have to uninvite all my friends." Finn moped. Helen paused for a minute. It truly didn't make much of a difference to her whether Finn had more than one friend or not. They were all guys, and Helen had met these other friends of his. Not very long, but they seemed to be fine, upstanding men.

"Well, I suppose it will be alright with your father and Daria gone." Helen remarked, but she silently cursed her luck. It almost seemed like a made-for-TV moment, for the working mom to stand up and say "I'll be there" to a wayward child, and now she was shoved aside for a night of him and four other guys scratching and sweating.

Helen sighed. The best she could do at a moment like this is be amenable. Perhaps they would all leave early the next morning and there would be time for Finn.

"_I sure hope they consider me for partner soon. How much more can I keep putting this off?" _Helen wondered to herself as she went upstairs to put her files away.

* * *

Tom arrived first, and then the rest of the guys came soon after that. Tom was a little surprised that there would be more than one person coming along, but ultimately did not seem offended.

"Tom, you ever watch boxing?" Finn asked.

"No one other than you." Tom returned. "And you're also on the team, right, Joey?"

"Yeah!" Joey eagerly cheered.

"And the rest of you I know are on the football team. Tight end and wide receivers, right?"

"I've never seen you at school before, dude." Jeffy remarked.

"I don't go to your school." Tom answered.

"He goes to Fielding Prep." Finn remarked. Finn was still surprised that he could actually be friends with someone who went there. Fielding Preparatory Academy was not far from Lawndale, but it was an elite private school that only the obnoxiously rich sent their children too. It was jammed packed with nerds, boring debutantes, and stuck-up snots that uses were limited to little more than punching bags.

When Finn asked Tom why he had never told him about it, after the standards deflections of "you didn't ask" Tom told him that he didn't like being judged by who his family was. Tom had then told him his last name was Sloane, as in Grace, Sloane, and Page. Finn had never heard of this company, or the last name "Sloane" before. Tom's response was that he liked it that way.

Finn didn't care. Tom was Tom. If people judged Finn by his family, he'd have no friends at all thanks to Daria. And when Finn told him that, Tom's eyes widened a bit, but he said he liked this way even better.

Finn's football buddies, not to Finn's surprise, reacted the same way.

"Any friend of Finn's is a friend of mine." Jamie remarked, and Tom seemed to be in a good mood. Finn went into the kitchen to get all the snacks, and soon the match was underway.

* * *

It wasn't until the match ended, and the boys made their way into the kitchen to play poker that Helen made her presence.

"You boys doing alright?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"We're fine, Mom." Finn brushed her off as he shuffled the deck. "Alright, Jeffy, pass out the chips. I'll deal first, so Joey's small blind, Tom's big blind."

"Oh, you boys are playing poker!" Helen remarked.

"Yes, Mom. We're playing poker. We're fine." Finn responded tersely, with a glare in his eyes. Whether she missed his hidden subtext to leave or chose to ignore it, Finn didn't know. But the woman did not leave the room.

Finn ignored her and dealt the cards.

"Flop." Finn called as he dealt out three cards. A queen, an eight, a ten. No chance of a flush. Finn's two cards he dealt himself were a queen and a king. So far, things were looking pretty good for him.

The rest of the players all called. Finn played the river, which ended up being the nine of clubs. Finn resolved to keep quiet about his queens: a straight was too easy now.

"Is this that Texas Hold `em poker I've heard about?" Helen remarked, nearly shattering Finn's concentration.

"Yes, Mom." Finn sighed.

"This is so much different from the poker the boys at the firm play." Helen noted. Finn winced.

"Mom, we're trying to play." Finn returned. Joey called. Jeffy and Tom both folded, Jamie went in. Finn tried to lock eyes with Joey. Jamie was practically impossible to gather whether or not he was bluffing, but Joey Finn could try to figure out. He seemed....eager. Almost too eager. He twitched like he was getting ready to enter a fight. What did that mean? With his mother and her random comments, he hadn't been paying attention to him during the entire match, and he couldn't pick up on a tell.

"_Oh well" _Finn thought. He had two queens, and the river card. They would need either both of their down cards or a jack to beat him.

"I'm in!" Finn threw down the last card. Nothing that would help him, the best hand Finn had was his queens.

"Pair of queens." Finn announced. Jamie grimaced as he only had a pair of tens.

"Well, it looks like..." Finn moved towards the chips.

"Straight." Joey remarked. He turned over his down cards to reveal that one of them was a jack.

"Heh, heh!" Joey chuckled as he pulled in the chips.

"Aw, too bad." Helen remarked.

"Thanks, Mom." Finn grimaced.

"_Why don't you embarrass me some more?" _Finn groaned.

* * *

"Would you boys mind if I joined you?" Helen asked.

"No!" Finn remarked.

"Why not? More players is better in poker." Tom remarked.

"_Not helping, Tom!" _Finn chastised mentally.

"I guess. Whatever. Not gonna stop me from winning." Joey shrugged.

"Great!" Helen cheered.

"_Oh dear God, kill me now." _Finn moaned.

Finn knew the problem with his mother playing poker wasn't because she didn't know how to play. His mother played poker a lot. But she was competitive, and hated to lose. While Finn liked the idea of beating his mother at poker, he knew how she reacted when she lost, and it wasn't pleasant. How she acted when she won was even worse.

The game quickly got underway, and Helen played aggressively. This made her easy to beat, since she was practically deadset on winning every hand, only folding when she knew she couldn't win. Which, considering two cards were kept hidden, did not happen often. Causing her to lose quite frequently.

"Dammit! How the hell were you hiding those two other sevens." Helen exclaimed during one particularly losing hand in which Jeffy got four of a kind.

"Mom, it's just a game." Finn moaned.

"I think things aren't going well for poker anyway." Tom remarked. "It looks like Joey's going to win." Sure enough, while no players had no chips left, Joey commanded over half the pile.

"I would have had that hand." Helen moaned.

"But I had the full house, and you didn't." Finn remarked. "Come on, I'm in the mood to shoot. Joey, think you can hook that system up." Joey, Jamie, and Jeffy went off towards the living room.

"So, Tom." Helen returned to her normal tone very quickly. Not that Finn was any less embarrassed by her display.

"Yes?" Tom reacted very politely.

"You're Jane's boyfriend, aren't you?"

"I am."

"That's so wonderful. Tell me, do you also know Daria, Finn's older sister."

"I know of her. We get along."

"_You do?" _Finn thought.

"Well, that's fantastic." Helen remarked. "Did I hear correctly and you said your last name is Sloane, as in Grace, Sloane, and Page?"

"That's correct." Tom was still masterfully trying to answer Helen politely.

"That's quite the impressive firm. Your father is doing very well for himself. That was quite the move he made in the early 90's. We heard about it all the way in Highland."

"Yeah, who would have thought civil war in South America would drive up the price of sugar." Tom remarked. "But I really don't know that much about my father's business."

"And we're in the middle of something anyway." Finn practically had to drag Tom away from his mother.

* * *

"Hey, thanks." Tom remarked as the guys sat on the sofa waiting for the guys to finish setting up.

"No prob. I think I know how you feel, dude." Finn remarked.

"Huh?"

"Not getting along with your family, being humiliated by their very existence."

"It's not the same thing." Tom remarked. "People look at me different when they know my father could buy up the entire town. At least you don't have to hide who you are."

"Just everyone around me." Finn sighed.

"My family has their own alienable qualities. You should meet my sister."

"What about your sister?"

"Bitch, dilettante, junkie. And those are her good qualities." Tom remarked with a wry sense of humor.

"Hey, we playing or what?" Jamie finished setting everything up, and all three guys were holding guns.

"Go ahead, Finn. I'll sit out the first round." Tom remarked as the guys started their game.

* * *

The guys shot at mutated aliens with light guns. The loser traded off to the off player at the end of each stage, although by the end, Finn offered to sit the final fight out.

"Well, you boys seem to be having a good time." Helen had already changed into her pajamas. Understandable, considering it was past eleven.

"Yeah, Mom." Finn spat out. The boys had just killed the head queen alien monster thing and were high-fiving all around.

"Seems like you did well. You boys are all members of the football team, aren't you?" Helen asked.

"Yeah." Joey remarked.

"Sure." Jamie continued.

"What are your favorite subjects in school?" She asked. The boys all stared at her quizzically.

"Mom, we really don't need to go into this now." Finn answered with a scowl.

"_Or ever." _He continued silently in his head.

"Now, now, Finn. I'm sure your friends are both great at football and in their studies." Helen brushed off.

"Mom, why don't you just head off to bed." Finn glared at her. "We're..."

"Finn!" Helen looked at him.

"Well, Finn's got the best grades out of all of us." Jeffy remarked. "I'm in second."

"Not that grades matter." Joey remarked. "We never got off the football team."

"Not like Kevin that one time when he got the nine on the test of the countries of Europe." Jamie chuckled. "Even I did better than him."

"What did you get?" Helen asked.

"You don't have to..." Finn started, but Jamie quickly interrupted him.

"I got a sixteen." Jamie quickly answered.

"Oh." Helen remarked. "You know, boys, skill doesn't always need to be limited to the field. In a truly civilized society, the truly great men would be valued for their intellectual accomplishments and innovations rather than with trifles."

"What's a trifle?" Jeffy asked. Tom, however, knew what the word meant and saw the insult, whether intentional or not, for what it was. And so did Finn.

"Mom, I think we're going to turn in." Finn glared at her with a righteous fury.

"But it's only..." Joey started.

"I agree. Maybe early tomorrow you guys can show me some more of those trick plays you do." Tom quickly covered to prevent Finn from saying something really stupid, as he tended to do when he was angry.

"You play ball?"

"No, but I try to predict who wins each game professionally, but I'm still rusty on offensive formation and stuff. Helps to see it in action." It was clear to Finn that Tom really had no clue what he was talking about, but he played along.

"Yeah. Turning in would be good. Good night, mother." Finn glared at his mom before heading upstairs, practically pushing his friends.

* * *

Helen sighed and sat on the couch as she saw Finn and all his friends go upstairs. She wasn't exactly sure what she did, but Finn took offense. She had thought that, maybe, Finn's friends could assist him with his poor grades. He'd be inclined to listen to them more than anyone since he spent more time with them. But, as it turned out, they did worse in school than Finn did.

It truly was a disastrous thing, to see all those boys, friendly though they may be, throwing their futures away on football. Just like with Finn, they neglected all of their other strong points and devoted themselves to that game. Perhaps it was important, perhaps it had benefits, but neglecting their education to do it? Football may catch a recruiters eye, but to bank on that, and bank on it to keep you in college, was hardly a smart move.

"_I'm trying to be helpful, Finn. Patting you on the head may be Jake's way, or Rita's, but you need to learn things too. If I have to be the villain that tells you that, I will, but does it always have to be a villain?" _Helen sighed again, suppressing a sob, before she went into the kitchen to clean up the rest of the mess. But she didn't look at the top of the stairs to notice Tom, who waited at the top of the stairs, witness her moment of sadness before heading into the bathroom.

"Hey, guys, sorry about the mom ambush." Finn apologized as the guys were getting ready for bed.

"Eh. What can you do. Why do you think we never do stuff like this when our parents are out?" Jeffy returned.

"Well, let's just ignore it. Just...don't listen to what she says." Finn remarked. "I know I sure don't." And Finn cut the lights and turned in. But he couldn't sleep. He replayed the events of the night, and how the magnificent boys night plans turned out to be a bust, all thanks to one person. Finn grumbled as he went out into the hall. He sighed as he thought of what his mother said to his friends.

"_Football is my life." _Finn thought. "_And it takes smarts to do it right. I guess it's just not an achievement to you. Daria's A's on pointless busywork makes you happy. I'm just a trifle. You hate me, fine, but quit trying to ruin the few things you haven't ruined already. They're my friends. They're not trifles." _Finn tried his best not to show how sad he was, but he slumped to the floor near his door.

And when Tom walked out of the bathroom just in time to catch the final act.

* * *

Early that next morning, the doorbell rang at the Morgendorffer household. Helen went downstairs to answer it, and found it to be Jane, a bleary-eyed Jane.

"Jane! You're up early." Helen remarked.

"Up still." Jane corrected. "I was painting all night and I lost track of time. I figured since I was up, and Finn stole my boyfriend from me for the night, I could guilt trip him into buying me breakfast. And if that doesn't work, I'm stealing my boyfriend back so he can buy me breakfast."

"Well, the boys are probably still asleep." Helen remarked. "I suppose I could fix some pancakes." Helen went into the kitchen while Jane stealthily walked up the stairs. She moved over to Finn's room.

"_Do I dare wonder what holy hell goes on behind this door, with four football players and Tom?" _Without hesitation, Jane opened the door. All the guys were bundled up and sleeping.

"_It's a plot." _Jane thought as she headed downstairs.

"So, Mrs. Morgendorffer, what did I miss last night?"

"Oh, you know boys." Helen stood at the oven with a pan.

"Can't say I do."

"Heh, you never will." Helen returned. "It's a cruel joke you'll be living with your entire life. But at least we get to play it on them, too."

"I just like to think it's that simple. Makes me feel smart."

"Amen." Helen returned.

"You don't need to make breakfast, I'll just have coffee."

"Well, I should probably fix some for the boys. I think I may have upset them last night."

"Huh?" Jane remarked. "Well, if you think you did, you think you did."

"Jane, perhaps you could help me with something..."

"You tried this months ago, and it doesn't work." Jane quickly interrupted. She knew where this was going, and wanted no part in it.

"I think I'm going to check on Tom." Jane remarked. "I think I heard his footsteps." Without being offered, Jane stood up and went upstairs to Finn's room. Sure enough, Tom, still dressed in his bedclothes, was quietly tiptoeing around the sleeping boys to make his way out of the room.

"Footsteps sound more plodding from downstairs." Jane remarked.

"Good morning." Tom answered.

"Buy me breakfast." Jane instructed.

"Do I get a kiss?" Tom returned.

"I'm scared to kiss in this house. Let's get someplace first."

"Yikes. I sense a trap."

"You learn quickly, flyboy." Not even bothering to let Tom dress, Jane only let him get his sneakers on before they headed out the house.

* * *

The diner was not crowded when Jane and Tom got a booth.

"So all you guys did was watch a boxing match, play cards, and video games?" Jane asked.

"What did you think would happen?" Tom asked.

"With Finn and his friends? The most innocent of my thoughts go to drinking festival."

"Innocent?"

"You don't wanna know." Jane returned. Tom's eyebrow cocked, and he realized that he didn't.

"Anyway, why are you so bummed out? You didn't have fun?"

"I wouldn't say that. I just think I learned more than I wanted to."

"See Finn and his friends make out?"

"Have you been around those glue fumes too much?" Tom teased. Jane didn't answer.

"Anyway, I mean Finn and his mom. I mean, I know you told me the two of them didn't get along, but wow. I nearly thought there'd be a bloodbath."

"Helen rubbed you the wrong way, did she?"

"Unintentionally." Tom clarified. "So I'm not too hard on her. But that woman certainly lacks in diplomacy."

"Apparently, that approach she does have works in court, though." Jane answered. "So, Helen's lacks a graceful touch. I'm willing to bet I know what she set to set you off. What's that got to do with Finn though. He sided with you, didn't he?"

"I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about those two. You ever see Finn when he thinks no one is looking? He looks so sad."

"I don't know much about he and his mother, just that he'll do anything to avoid spending time with her."

Tom sighed as he stared into his coffee.

"You know, I think one of them is about to pop."


	28. About My Mother

Breakfast was a very odd meal in the Morgendorffer house, Finn thought as he watched his sister cut a piece of chocolate cake.

"Daria, you're eating cake for breakfast?" Finn remarked.

"We don't have any pizza." Daria replied flatly as she washed the knife in the sink. Finn rolled his eyes as he returned to his eggs.

"Good morning, kids!" Jake Morgendorffer replied eagerly, tying his tie as he went over to the coffee pot.

"Fashion disaster to occur in three...two...one." Daria counted down as Jake attempted the eternal businessman's struggle of tying a tie and pouring coffee at the same time.

"Yahh!" Jake spilled coffee all over his shirt.

"Dammit!" He moaned.

"Good morning, everyone!" Helen Morgendorffer, dressed for work, came into the kitchen to regard her whole family.

"What are you doing here, Mom?" Finn asked. It was practically impossible for his mother to be here when everyone else woke up on a day she didn't have off. And this was a weekday. She did not take weekdays off.

"Well, my seven o'clock cancelled." Helen remarked. "So I've got extra time. Why don't we all spend this boon as a family."

"It's so nice you can pencil it in somewhere." Finn remarked as sourly as Daria.

"Jake, how about an egg white omelet? I know you really love those!" Helen said sweetly.

"Ummm...honey?" Jake was as perplexed as his children with his wife's sudden burst of involvement. "You're not...doing anything...illegal, are you?"

"Jake!" Helen was aghast.

"Yeah, Dad, it's only company policy to be against sleeping with your boss." Daria cracked.

"Daria! That's not funny!" Helen remarked.

"_Yes it is." _Finn thought.

"Finn, what about you? Would you like me to make anything for you for breakfast?"

"No." Finn returned. He was still sour at his mother for her behavior at his boys' night; being there was only one of the many insults.

"Are you sure, Finn?"

"I've already made myself some eggs." Finn answered.

"It's the first breakfast we've had in a while as a family." Helen stated to the entire rest of the family. "Can't we all spend it together."

"_Whose fault is that?" _Finn thought. "_Not I, said the quarterback." _

"Ummm, honey..." Jake turned to his wife, and Finn knew he would ask for something just to please her. However, her cellular started to ring, and Helen ignored her husband to answer it.

"_Reason number one why we don't spend breakfast together: Eric."_ Finn knew who the mystery caller was without even knowing. Not that it was hard to guess. Finn didn't pay attention to what his mother was saying on the phone and focused on his eggs. Good protein.

"Honey, you know what would be heavenly?" Jake was going into sweet-talk mode to placate his mother. Finn knew it would amount to nothing.

"You know what would be heavenly?" Helen resumed her commanding voice. "If I wasn't late to my back-on seven o'clock. Goodbye!" And Helen grabbed her purse and was out the door quickly.

"_Reason number two we don't spend breakfast together: Our health, your cooking is awful. Reason number three we don't spend time as a family, you don't care about the family." _Finn thought as he cleaned up his mess.

"Goodbye, Dad." Finn stated warmly.

"_Why can't I have two parents as good as you?" _

_

* * *

_

Helen burned rubber to make it quickly for her seven o'clock. Eric's recitation of the tax code shut that client up faster then Helen had ever seen, and she made sure to let Eric know once it was done how impressed she was.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't be as impressive if I didn't surround myself with the best." Eric stuck his chest out and pounded on it lightly.

"Well, if I can help you and the firm stay at that best, you just let me know." Helen smiled at her boss.

"Speaking of best, Helen, the firm's been talking." Eric's voice took on a hushed tone.

"What?" Helen was intrigued.

"They've been talking about you, Helen." Eric remarked. "They've seen the long hours, the dedication, the tireless effort. I told them I think you're ready. And they agreed." Eric handed her a pamphlet.

"Quiet Ivy..." Helen read the title. She had never heard of the place.

"The firm wants a chance to see you in action, Helen." Eric remarked. "They want to see the woman that could be our next great partner. Inside and out."

"Well, I think I'm still using some of my internal organs." Helen joked. Eric shared a small laugh.

"I mean the whole picture. We want to see Helen Morgendorffer the wife, married for twenty long years to the same man. Truly commendable in this day and age. We want to see Helen Morgendorffer, the mother who can handle not one but two teenagers. And she does it all while still being a partner."

"The...entire family?" Helen was a bit surprised to realize this. Having the entire family away for the weekend sounded lovely. But at a retreat like this. Were the doctors psychiatrists? While Daria never cared for all the psychiatrists she spoke with as a child and said whatever she thought would get the therapy over the quickest, Finn had never seen one his whole life. Would he know how to deal with them? Psychiatrists would not be receptive to his seductive charms, and they'd ask him questions. And Finn would answer bluntly, since he wouldn't know what to say. Could that put the partnership in jeopardy? Helen knew her son didn't have a high opinion of her, especially now, so close to that little boy's night of his. How bad would it look when she couldn't inspire respect in a fifteen year old boy who knew her night and day?

"_Now I have to coach him." _Helen thought. She made a note to read the pamphlets at lunch so she'd be sure of the proper way for a fifteen-year-old to answer.

"_And I haven't forgotten my promise, either. Once I'm partner, there will be more time for the family." _Helen thought. "_I'll work on you, Finn. You'll understand your mother cares." _

"Take Thursday off, Helen." Eric instructed warmly. "Friday you head there, lasts till Sunday."

"Eric, that's so generous!" Helen remarked.

"It's nothing. Having a partner in my corner is worth having a day off once in a while." Eric cheered. "Alright, I gotta go file a report about the meeting." Eric departed. Helen started to read the pamphlets some more.

"_Partner. This is it." _Helen thought to herself. "_This is what I've been working for. Succeeding here is it: I need to do this." _Helen pumped herself up.

"Helen?" Marianne, her secretary, entered the office.

"Oh, Marianne!" Helen remarked. She would not be aware of Eric's recent revelations, amd Helen wasn't about to spoil it. Let the surprise announcement ring among the secretaries and junior associates.

"You asked me to take some notes on that assignment your son missed?" Marianne held out some notes for Helen. It appeared to be some pages on A Farewell to Arms, that book by Hemingway, if Helen remembered correctly.

"Great! I'll take that home with me." Helen placed the pages in her briefcase.

"How is your son?" Marianne asked pleasantly.

"It's Finn, he's always good." Helen remarked.

"You know, I was wondering. Tony is starting to take an interest in football, and maybe, I was wondering if, one of these days, I could maybe either bring him over or have Finn come over and help him learn the basics? I'm no good at it myself."

"I'll run that by him tonight." Helen told her.

"Thank you!" Marianne squealed. 'I'll get started on those depositions." Marianne exited to return to her desk. The woman perked up immensely as she started typing with more passion than she normally had.

"_You're that excited? Finn didn't even say yes yet." _Helen thought as she started back on her work. But within five minutes, she had put that work aside to quickly review that information Marianne had given her. Coaching for the retreat, helping him with Hemingway's book, and Marianne's request. It looked like Helen and Finn would be spending the night together.

"_You better not have a date." _Helen commanded.

* * *

Finn did not have a date that evening, Helen breathed a sigh of relief as the family sat around for dinner.

"A spa?" Finn remarked. "A free spa? Hey, might as well milk it for what it's worth."

"It's not a normal spa, Finn, it's a retreat." Helen explained.

"Isn't that for, like, marriage counseling and stuff?" Finn asked.

"It's our family." Daria remarked.

"Daria!" Helen chastised.

"Oh yeah, you're right." Finn remarked.

"Finn!" Helen returned.

"Did you just say I was right. Never a damn tape recorder when you need it." Daria returned to the newspaper as Helen started serving the lasagna.

"This retreat is about spending time together as a family." Helen remarked.

"Doesn't that statement lose it's impact when it's something the firm sets up?" Finn asked.

"Legitimate question. I'm impressed." Daria remarked.

"Did you just praise me?" Finn questioned. "Now I need a tape recorder."

"It had to happen eventually."

"Finn, just because the firm is paying for it doesn't mean I'm working there. We all get to enjoy a nice quiet weekend together in the countryside while I show them I'm the best partner there is and then some." Helen silenced the siblings.

"I can think of places a lot more fun then a retreat. Like spelunking." Daria remarked.

"What's that?"

"Exploring caves."

"That's pretty cool." Finn remarked.

"Daria, you know your father doesn't like closed spaces." Helen remarked. "Anyway, they sent over some questionnaires for us to fill out. Fill them out tonight so I can fax them tomorrow."

"Neat!" Jake took the questionnaire. "Favorite past-time? Hey, this is easy! Hey, Finn, which sport do you like best so I can put that one down!"

"Just say father-son bonding. That's what I'm putting." Finn smiled at his father.

"Hey, yeah, that is better! Thanks, Finn!" Jake cheered as he left the table to fill the questionnaire out.

"Your father certainly seems excited." Helen remarked.

"I'm going to fill this out from the safety of my room. That way I can set traps when the Gestapo come." Daria took the pages given to her and went upstairs.

"You know, Finn, I'd be happy to help you fill that out." Helen offered.

"Mom, these questions are easy. I know you think I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb." Finn started to fill the questionnaire out.

"Finn, I didn't..." Helen started, but stopped. Finn never listened to her when he thought she insulted him. Which was frequent.

"Finn, do you know Marianne from my office?" Helen asked.

"Your secretary?"

"Yes. She's got a little boy named Tony."

"She's got two. Tony's the younger one. He's ten now. Don't worry, his birthday isn't until September, you didn't miss it."

"How did you know that?" Helen asked.

"She mentioned it the last time I was at the office."

"That was a year ago."

"So?' Finn questioned as he returned to the questionnaire.

"Anyway, Marianne wanted me to ask you if you could teach Tony football? He's starting to take an interest in it."

"Sure, anything for Marianne." Finn smiled.

"I never knew you had such a high opinion of her."

"Don't you?" Finn remarked. "She's awesome. She tries her best at everything asked of her. And she's so polite. Anyway, tell her after this retreat thing to just call the house and I'll work out a time with her."

"All right." Helen remarked. "You also saw the papers on your desk from the book?"

"Yeah, I took care of it." Finn remarked. "I shoulda did it though, it's not fair to make Marianne work like that for me."

"Well, be careful in the future. Are you sure you don't need any help with those things."

"Mom, I'm fine. Just let me do them, okay." Finn started to get frustrated.

"All right. I'd better go check on your father. Just leave this on the table for tomorrow." Helen noted as she stood up to leave the table.

"_Yeah." _Finn thought. His mother wasn't trying to help him: She just wanted his results to look good so nothing would stand in the way of her partnership. Finn wouldn't sabotage this for his mother; partner probably meant she'd spend more time at the office and out of Finn's hair. He hoped that wouldn't make things worse for Marianne.

"_You see, Mom. Marianne tries to take an interest in her son, and when she knows she isn't the best person, she finds someone. Why can't you be a mom like that?"_

_

* * *

_

Finn had planned for Tom to come over that night. He tried to finish the questionnaire before Tom arrived, but the rich boy was always early.

"_Or maybe I just hang around Jane too much." _Finn thought.

"That doesn't look like A Farewell to Arms to me." Tom remarked.

"It's not. I just got this today from my mother." Finn replied. He proceeded to tell his friend about the excursion his mother had planned for the weekend.

"And you're going to go?" Tom posed.

"Would that I had a choice." Finn moaned. "Now we get to sit around at some boring spa place with no spa features and...you know, it just dawned on me. I have no idea what we're going to do there."

"From the looks of that questionnaire, I'd say it's a psychological assessment." Tom remarked. Finn paused.

"Dammit, I knew I should have read those pamphlets."

"Your mother is taking the family on a trip to see the psychiatrist." Tom teased. "And I thought family trips to the cove was Hell."

"I think I'd rather be in Hell."

"Yikes. Family's that bad, huh?"

"No." Finn answered. "But going to see a psychiatrist just so Mom can parade me around like some sort of badge of accomplishment to try and get the partner ship at the firm? I laughed so hard on the inside, my sides hurt."

"Aren't you being just a little harsh?"

"Tom, you don't know my mother."

"No, I suppose I don't." Tom brushed off the comment, and Finn let it slide. Tom knew his boundaries, and knew when to step down. Helen did not.

"Alright, let's get back on that Hemingway book." Finn remarked. Although Finn knew that Marianne gave him the information because he had forgotten to do the assignment and his mother forced him after O'Neill called her office, Finn liked to think Marianne wanted to help him out with it.

* * *

Jake, Daria, and Finn had all finished their questionnaires and left them on the kitchen table for Helen to pick up. Once she got to the office, she started to read them.

Jake's answers did not surprise her in the least. Being an adult, his questions were a little different from the children's, but Jake mentioned several times his love of parenting.

"_What passes for parenting in your mind." _Helen thought. It was true that Jake was absolutely fantastic for a game of catch or an amusing story, but when it came to discipline, Jake could barely muster a stern voice, unless he was denigrating into rants: which neither of the children took seriously.

Parenting was not all fun and games, and, while Jake may have had rare moments of insight, particularly when Finn was depressed following Jake's heart attack, for the most part, anything serious was a matter best not even told to him. Helen had to be the person to talk to Finn about sex, which, by virtue of his male-ness and her female-ness, made the word "awkward" inadequate to describe it.

But Jake's answers did reveal the closeness he had with Finn. Although it wasn't as frequent as Finn, Jake's words also highlighted his praise of Daria too. The man's questionnaire showed a father devoted to his kids, first and foremost. If nothing else, Helen respected his devotion.

Daria's questionnaire, not to Helen's surprise either, contained irrelevant and nonsensical answers.

"_Why can't you take this seriously, Daria?" _Helen thought. Many of Daria's questions would lead the unwitting to believe she thought herself as Christ, and several other fantasy figures Helen couldn't even begin to fathom. Probably from her books, or games, or something.

Helen briefly considered changing the answers, but decided against it. She'd probably get found out the second Daria spoke to the psychiatrists in her nonsensical way. And Helen couldn't just not fax it: that would look unprofessional. She'd just have to deal with it then.

Her hand shook as she started to look at Finn's answers. What would he write? Would he take the opportunity to blast her, as he always did?

She calmed down when she noticed Finn's answers were fairly plain. He liked sports, and father-son bonding time playing such sports. He also liked dating, hanging out with friends. Not to Helen's surprise, career goals for Finn involved professional football or boxing, other high-paid glamourous jobs.

"_What ever happened to project management?" _Helen thought of her son's career aptitude test, when she was quite proud that he had obtained such a worthy job. Finn had taken a job at a pet store at her insistence, but he quit that shortly after he started doing it. Helen hadn't even known he did it for at least a week afterwards, and to this day, he had never told her why, even though she asked.

Helen wondered if, perhaps, he quit after finding out that Daria had quit her job. But Helen wouldn't understand why that would be: Helen allowed Daria to quit after finding out from Jane that the man only allowed that brainless football player friend of Finn's, Kevin Thompson, to network up front. Finn would certainly take offense at such a display, particularly because he hated his job. But Finn was not being shoved aside for a less qualified person: He worked alone in the pet store.

But it made no difference now. There was no mention of his first job in the questionnaire. Finn's answers were notoriously simple: an irreverence uncommon to him. Almost like Daria's, but while Daria treated this questionnaire as a joke, Finn treated it with total apathy: answering the questions and doing little else.

That worried Helen a little. One could not speak to a psychiatrist like that. They would probe and delve deeper, and Finn would answer whatever question was asked. While Finn certainly knew of guile, he matched wits with bored high schoolers. Psychiatrists were a different game.

Thursday she was off. Perhaps then would be the best time to talk to Finn. How exactly would she approach that, though? Finn may not have gotten the best grades, but he was definitely cunning, and knew how to work the angles. He would detect if something was amiss.

But Helen put those thoughts aside as she read the rest of his questionnaire. Every part of him screamed 'normal teenage boy.' He did normal teenage boy things, and had normal teenage boy wants. There was no condemnation of his mother on those pages. Perhaps Helen was worried about nothing.

But she could deal with it later as she faxed the questionnaires over before Eric would come into the office.

* * *

Finn was hoping for one of those science-fiction time disasters so that, somehow, this entire weekend could be avoided. But Thursday came and went, and, aside from his mother spending an inordinate amount of time with the family because she didn't work, nothing much happened. She had mentioned something about using his best manners and not talking about unnecessary topics, but Finn wasn't paying attention to her.

"_You're lecturing me about manners? When you spend your days helping corporations cheat their workers out of workman's comp?" _Finn thought.

But soon enough, it was Friday. The family had to wake up early so that everyone could get "prepared" for the visit. This, of course, meant a shower, shave, and looking absolutely perfect.

"_I almost would rather go to school today." _Finn thought as he finished his shower. He picked out an outfit he knew his mother would approve of, and brought enough clothes down for the three-day trip.

"Is everyone ready?" Helen asked pleasantly. "This is going to be a wonderful weekend." Helen went outside with Jake in tow. Daria and Finn just stared at each other.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Finn asked.

"This is a joke, the world's gone insane, and someone's going to end up dead by the weekend's end?" Daria replied.

"Yeah. But I was also thinking Mom shouldn't be wearing those pants." Finn remarked.

The drive was taking about two hours. The family was taking Jake's Lexus since it had better gas mileage for such a trip, but Jake's leisurely driving was not sitting well with Helen, who insisted they would be late.

Finn tried to pay attention to anything else, but couldn't, so he settled for taking a nap in the car, even if his mother would give him hell since it would mess his hair up. He tried to ignore the sounds of his parents squabbling over Jake's slow driving speed.

"_Why isn't this soothing? It's the background noise of my life." _

_

* * *

_

Quiet Ivy was a very pleasant looking place. Several people in white coats were assembled outside as the Lexus drove up. Helen eagerly shook Finn awake as the Lexus reached the doorway.

"Don't park just yet, Jake.." Helen told her husband. "Let's get out and introduce ourselves." The family exited the car.

"Hello!" Helen turned her masterful persuasive voice on the crowd. Finn was surprised it worked on anyone: it didn't work on him.

"I'm Helen Morgendorffer." Helen introduced. "This is my husband, Jake, and our two children. Daria my daughter, and Finn my son. Say hello, everyone!"

"Hi there!" Jake replied. Neither of the children spoke.

"So, this is Daria?" One of the staff members asked.

"Yes!" Helen motioned towards Daria. "She's my eldest at seventeen."

"Well, we've prepared a room for her already." A white-coated woman remarked.

"Is this about my daughter's questionnaire?" Helen remarked. "I do apologize for that, she's got a rather...colorful sense of humor."

"There's nothing wrong with Daria." Jake returned.

"So you say." Finn commented sourly.

"So, young man, there is something about your sister?" The first technician asked Finn.

"Now, now, my son's just teasing you. He knows there's nothing wrong with Daria." Helen glared slightly at Finn.

"Well, she's always like that." Finn remarked.

"Take from that whatever you want." Daria quickly quipped.

"It looks like we were a little too eager. Come on, doctors, let's disassemble the room." The technicians returned to the building while the family waited for them to leave.

"Daria, Finn, did you really have to go on like that?" Helen remarked.

"It was fun." Daria commented.

"I thought I told you two to be on your best behavior."

"That is best behavior." Finn remarked.

"Don't get started with me, young man. This is a big weekend for all of us."

"You still haven't told us the part where we get paid." Finn remarked. "I thought that's how it worked. Where's the bribe?"

"I'll pay you later, now let's get going." Helen remarked as she started into the retreat. Jake went back into the car and drove it towards the parking lot. Finn followed his father to get his luggage. Daria was left standing all alone.

"Oh." Daria looked around at the type of place this Quiet Ivy was. It was a den of hotbed psychiatrists. If Daria's predictions were correct, the family would be evaluated on an individual and a group basis.

"This won't end badly." Daria commented aloud to herself. While she had no interest in speaking to any psychiatrist, Helen would, of course, be trying to put forth the best possible foot for the office. And Finn would certainly not ignore the chance to talk about his favorite subject: himself.

The stage was set, and the train crash was about to happen. There was no avoiding it, so Daria reasoned she might as well get a good seat.

* * *

Finn didn't exactly know how this retreat was going to play out. There was some nice countryside and ground on the property, and Finn did bring a football in his luggage. Perhaps he could find his father later. But his mother would probably frown on that. She frowned on everything he enjoyed. And she would brook nothing to get in the way of her partnership here.

"_Jeez, why couldn't I just stay home? You could just pretend I don't exist, say Eric had an imaginary friend when he thought you had a son, Mom. Eric's that crazy, they'd believe it." _Finn cursed. But he sighed as he unpacked his things in his room. At least he had his own room, Finn thought as he unpacked his clothes. He would at least have some sanctuary. However, it wasn't long before there was a knock on the door. Finn opened it to discover his mother.

"Getting settled in, Finn?" His mother asked. Things she never did when she didn't think she was being graded.

"Getting my clothes out." Finn remarked "Wanna make sure I look good."

"That's lovely." Helen remarked as she saw his luggage.

"Finn, did you bring a football?" Helen asked.

"Yeah. So what, we're in the country. Lots of field, lots of space."

"Finn, we're supposed to be putting our best foot forward."

"Football is my best foot, Mom. Don't you know that by now?" Finn crossed his arms over his chest.

"Finn!" Helen exclaimed. "At least wait until your therapy session is finished."

"That won't take long." Finn remarked. "I did one of those when we went to high school, remember. I passed. Daria was the one who failed."

"Finn, she didn't fail, she had low self-esteem."

"Call it whatever, I call it failure."

"Finn, this won't be the same as what you took in high school. You don't have to answer any question you don't want to."

"Why not? If they're about me, it's not like I won't know them. And aren't these the questions with, like, no wrong answers."

"Finn, just remember to answer properly. This isn't a contest of who can tell the most grisly tale or anything."

"Jeez, Mom, I'll be fine." Finn remarked. He knew that his mother wanted him to pick up on some hint. Probably something to do with all the bullcrap he didn't pay attention to yesterday.

"Well, I guess we meet the people downstairs, or something?" Finn grabbed his football and bolted out the door, hoping his mother would be too surprised to follow after him.

* * *

Finn's therapist was a woman named Dr. Priscilla Ross. She was quite old, and Finn wondered if his mother would consider it "appropriate" to comment that her makeup job positively sucked. Ultimately, he decided not to question it. Once he made it into the doctor's office, he started to talk. He chatted about football, and his position as the quarterback, discussing various tidbits of football strategy with her. He mentioned school, and dating, and his friends. Although he mentioned his father a few times, he didn't mention anything about his mother or sister.

Finn talked non-stop for about ten minutes, and then he looked over to Priscilla to find her asleep.

"_Heh, out like a light." _Finn chuckled to himself. Quietly, he left her office so as not to bother her. Still carrying his football, Finn went to look for his father to see if his session was over.

"_This was pretty easy." _Finn thought. There was no probing question. Indeed, Priscilla seemed to be disinterested in Finn. Not that Finn cared: she was far too old for him. No awkward questions, no weird things, none of those stupid psychiatric things Finn saw on TV shows. Just one bored self-absorbed old hag.

"_No big loss." _Finn thought as he headed for his father's room.

* * *

Helen was seated in Dr. Bacon's, her therapist's office. She had just finished word association with the doctor.

"Helen, let's talk about your children." Dr. Bacon said the question Helen was dreading. She knew what she wanted to say, but her children, particularly Finn, had ways of making her lose her cool. She owed it to herself and to the firm to stay cool. To prove she was just as capable as all the senior partners.

"Well, as you know I have two children." Helen started.

"I already have the basic facts. I'm more interested in what you think of them." Dr. Bacon remarked.

"Oh? Well, that's a little vague." Helen tried to steer the topic into easy questions. She could deflect better if she saw where the attack came from.

"Let's start with your eldest." Dr. Bacon asked. "I've read her questionnaire."

"Oh, well, Daria's got a rather dry sense of humor." Helen remarked.

"So I've noticed."

"But she is still very creative." Helen praised.

"You think she is creative?"

"Indeed." Helen quickly continued. "She loves to write, and writes many short stories and other works."

"Do you read them?" Dr. Bacon asked.

"N-no. Not usually. Daria doesn't like to share them, and I don't wish to pry." Helen remarked. "Sometimes I will, but only when she allows it. I do ask, though."

"Alright, then. Let's talk about your son."

"Finn?"

"Is he much like Daria?" Dr. Bacon asked.

"No, those two couldn't be less alike." Helen answered. "He plays a lot of sports."

"Which ones?"

"Oh, all of them. He's on the school football team, and boxing team." Helen recited her son's position, uniform number, and other details she remembered about Finn's athletics, although in truth, she didn't know much. Football was a foreign game to her.

"I notice that with Finn, you recite a lot of facts." Dr. Bacon noticed. "We're supposed to be talking about what you think of him."

"Well, Finn's my son."

"That's not an answer." Dr. Bacon replied. "And you were perfectly fine praising Daria. Is Finn not the same?"

"Of...of course!" Helen quickly covered. It didn't work on Dr. Bacon.

"So why haven't you done it yet? You do not approve of Finn's athletics?"

"It's not that I don't approve, I just wish he wouldn't neglect his academics to do it. But, I suppose that's how boys are. They love their little sports."

"That's how boys are? Many of history's greatest thinkers were men."

"That's not what I meant." Helen became defensive.

"Helen, what is your relationship with your son like?"

"Like any other, I suppose. No different."

"Helen, what is your son's best quality?"

"Um...well...his...how do I describe it...well, when we moved here, he fit in so well. He made friends with practically his entire grade at school within a week. I can't think of a one-word answer, but that's an accomplishment worth mentioning."

"And how come I had to ask you about it rather then you volunteering it?" Dr. Bacon countered.

"Well..."

"Helen, what do you think of your son?" Dr. Bacon repeated herself. Helen was silent for a moment.

"I just don't understand." Helen remarked as she looked down into her lap.

"Don't understand what?"

"How he...and Jake..."

"Your husband?" Dr. Bacon queried.

"Finn, he...he's always been Jake's little boy. He'll light his pants on fire and jump into an oil slick for Jake. I can't get him to do anything." Helen remarked sadly. And then she realized she was talking to a therapist. A therapist who would be sending word to Eric Schrecter, her boss. Did she just tell that person she couldn't get her own kid to do what she wanted.

"Ummm, can we strike that from the record?" Helen asked.

"What does your husband do..." Dr. Bacon started, but she started to hear a loud noise from outside. She paused for a moment to take a look. Helen, also hearing the noise, glanced outside.

The window looked out onto the grounds, where Jake Morgendorffer was holding a football, and preparing to throw it.

"Further back, further back!" Jake shouted in his loud, cheerful voice. After a minute, he threw the football out of the line of sight.

"Yeah, whoo! All right! Atta boy, Finn!" Jake cheered.

"_Finn must've caught it. I wish that boy had the sense to finish his therapy session first." _Helen thought. A minute later, the ball arced back towards Jake, who proceeded to catch it.

"That is your husband?" Dr. Bacon asked.

"Playing with my son, it seems."

"Do they always do that?"

"A good amount of the time. I mean, it's not the only thing they do, but they do stuff like that a lot." Helen answered. After Jake caught the football, he started to position himself to throw it again. However, Finn came in charging from out of the window's line of sight and tackled his father. The force drove both men backward into a trellis separating the flower beds from the rest of the ground. They toppled over the tiny thing, and fell straight into the flowers. Right after that, the sprinkler system started to turn on. Whether the two men's rough-housing triggered it accidentally, or the landscaping crew, having seen their revelry, was getting revenge, was something neither of the women in the office knew.

The sprinklers started to drench both men. They sat there in the flowers for a moment as the water soaked them, and then, they both started to laugh. Then Finn stood up, helped his father up, and the two men went back to their game.

"Sometimes the males of our species are truly mystifying. It's not a bad thing." Dr. Bacon remarked with a slight smile. Helen however, rested her arm on the glass window and watched the game some more.

"Helen?" The doctor remarked, but Helen ignored her as she watched the game.

"What is it you wish, Helen?" The doctor asked. "What is it from that scene that you want?" Again, Helen offered no answer.

"Is it your son's laughter? Or do you wish you were in your husband's place." Helen, again, only watched the game, unable to hide the desire of longing from her face.

* * *

Daria's therapist was one Jean-Michel Millepieds. He was quite handsome, if Daria was interested in that sort of stuff. She wasn't paying attention to his questions, and simply told him her mother deserved to make partner, and offered no other insight on the matter. Dr. Millepieds tried to make her talk some more, and Daria huffed. At this rate she'd never get peace and quiet. The two went into his office.

"Mom likes to work hard and prove herself to be the best at everything. At the same time, she resents Dad because he has a better relationship with Finn then she does, but she feels guilty about that because she's turned the love of a child into competition. Dad, who was traumatized and abused by his dad and at a military school, is scared of allowing either of us two kids to feel like we were ever not important, and so, he uses cluelessness to avoid any responsibility, uses it so much that he is now a bungler. Finn manipulates the world into doing his bidding because he thinks that such control is a form of love, which he's scared to admit he wants more than anything."

"And you?" Jean-Michel asked.

"I actively work to make people hate me. And provide color commentary. It keeps me sane." Daria answered. "Can I go now?" And without asking for a response, Daria left the office. Now, perhaps there would be time for something else. Anything else.

* * *

Dr. Millepieds and Dr. Bacon shared lunch together. While Dr. Hinkel, who was working with Jake, stopped by for a moment to offer the results of his session, which were ultimately not that relevant, Dr. Ross, working with Finn, could offer nothing. She had mentioned she had fallen asleep after the child's pointless sports chatter. Dr. Millepieds offered to speak with the boy, but Dr. Bacon refused, as she didn't want his experiences with the daughter to taint his questioning. She would arrange for another doctor, one who was not with the crowd, to try and speak to him. Part of Dr. Bacon wondered whether or not this was necessary, since she could call in Helen and Finn together as a part of double therapy. But, without knowledge of how Finn reacted, Dr. Bacon reasoned that she'd be flying blind, and she didn't like that. Not with a mother and child who, if Helen's therapy was any indicator, were not very close to each other, for a reason she didn't quite know.

* * *

Finn loved his game with his father. After he had left his session with Priscilla, he found his father in the office of one Doctor Hinkel. Jake had asked if he could finish the therapy later, and, to Finn's surprise, Doctor Hinkel agreed, although he did escort the two outside and took notes as the two played. Finn simply ignored him as the game went on. After the game went over, Finn dragged himself back to his room, where he took a quick shower. With a fresh pair of jeans and a clean T-shirt, his mother would be none the wiser, so he hoped. Before long, there was a knock at his door. A loud, firm knock.

"Is that you, Dad?" Finn called. He opened the door to discover it was someone he had never met before. It was another of the doctors here, if the white coat with the monogram Finn couldn't make out was any indication.

"Oh!" Finn was surprised. "Excuse me, may I help you?"

"You are Finn Morgendorffer, correct?" The man asked.

"I am." Finn remained wary. "Is this about the whole falling in the flowerbed thing? I mean, that was just an accident."

"No, Finn. I am Doctor Severin, your new one-on-one counselor."

"I thought I was working with that Priscilla woman."

"Doctor Ross will not be joining us. Might I come in?"

"Umm...I guess." Finn returned. Dr. Severin took a seat on the chair in Finn's room. Finn himself simply leaned against the wall.

"What's up?" Finn remarked. "If you need the results of my session, Priscilla could..."

"Finn." The doctor interrupted. "I am not Doctor Ross. We're going to treat everything as if it is brand new."

"Okay. Whatev. So, ask your questions."

"Finn, let's start with something simple. Tell me about yourself." The doctor asked. Finn launched into the same speech he gave the first counselor. This one, though, did not fall asleep. Finn continued to talk of dating, of football, his friends, and boxing.

"You certainly talk a lot." Dr. Severin remarked. "You know, some people use such chatter as a shield to deflect others from their true feelings."

"That doesn't make sense." Finn returned. "Why talk about yourself if you want to do that."

"Because it makes another believe the chatter is all their thoughts amount to."

"Okay. Whatever." Finn shrugged. "I think it's pretty stupid, but you're the one with the fancy degree."

"I am." Doctor Severin had a certain apathy Finn liked a bit.

"Tell me about your family."

"Don't you doctors share all this stuff? I know that Doctor Hinkel talked with Dad, and I think Daria had some guy with an accent, I saw them where the computers are."

"This isn't about what they think. This is about you. It's one-on-one."

"I know what that means." Finn became cross.

"What are you so afraid of?" Doctor Severin asked.

"I'm not afraid. Don't be stupid."

"So then, tell me a little about your family." Finn calmed down a bit, and started to talk about his father.

"You're starting to do the chatter again, Finn. I notice you don't talk about your mother."

"Mom's mom. There's nothing to talk about." Finn returned.

"She does exist, and you know her, don't you? What do you think of your mother."

"Mom's a lawyer, and she works a lot to prove it. I don't know that much about lawyer things."

"What else?" Doctor Severin prodded.

"There's nothing else. Mom's a lawyer, that's who she is. She's trying to make partner."

"You refer to your mother only by her career. How about this, then. What do you think your mother thinks of you?" Doctor Severin continued. At his question, Finn chuckled and averted his gaze.

"Amusing response. What does it mean?"

"A tickle." Finn covered.

"Finn." The doctor returned. "What are you trying to hide about your mother. Come now, young man, what does she think of you."

"Heh, her bastard." Finn commented off-handedly, almost not realizing he said it.

"Her bastard?" Doctor Severin puzzled.

"Well, that's the word, isn't it?" Finn started to pace around the room.

"Bastard means an unwedded birth."

"Huh? I thought it meant, like, a child you didn't want to have where it just kinda happened. Well, as far as that goes. I mean, you don't want a child..." Finn started to speak, but the doctor interrupted him.

"So that would be more accurate, then? Your mother never intended to have you? Your mother didn't want you? Why might that be?" Finn stopped his pacing at the doctor's last question.

"No, no. No way. I know what you're trying. I don't do therapy. I'm not crazy." Finn faced the doctor and started shaking his hand in a refusal motion.

"Therapy is not for crazy people. I'm not authorized to prescribe you any medication. I'm just asking questions. Why don't you want therapy?" Doctor Severin did not react to Finn's denial.

"Because I am not crazy, I answered this. I am normal, I get along with people, I am not Daria."

"Your sister?" Doctor Severin asked.

"Dammit!" Finn moaned.

"Your sister had therapy then?"

"I don't know what you'd call it. She was always called into counselor's offices at school, and Mom and Dad had to come in and all that."

"Your mother would attend those sessions?"

"Of course she would." Finn ranted, and resumed his pacing. "She'd drop everything to come and see her. Force Dad out of work too, probably. All in some holy crusade to protect Daria from the big bad world who would keep her down."

"And she wouldn't do those things with you?"

"Oh, of course not." Finn was no longer looking at the doctor. If it wasn't for the man's voice, Finn might have thought he was alone. "Little Finn had to do it all himself. He had to deal with the bullies and the mean girls that you couldn't hit back when they hit you cause they were girls, and they knew it. He had to watch out for that big girl who pushed you off the jungle gym and laughed when you got a bloody nose. That could wait until she got home, and it would just happen the next day cause Mom wouldn't fix the problem for little Finn. But when Daria didn't want to play with the other children, she was there in a heartbeat. After all, that was important. Her confidence, her attitude. Not Finn's blood." Finn huffed as he finished his sentence.

"So is that the reason you think your mom never wanted you? Because you weren't your sister?" Doctor Severin asked genuinely. Finn paused. He already knew the answer, of course. But to hear someone else ask the question, and, unlike his mother, not just dismiss it as if he was stupid? Finn couldn't answer at first, but his eyes started to fill with tears. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Finn, why don't we have a nice talk?" The doctor offered. "My office is down near the front gates."

"Do we...have to walk that far?" Finn asked. Doctor Severin smiled.

"Go ahead and lie down on the bed. I'm fine right here."

* * *

Finn's session with Doctor Severin lasted a lot longer than he thought it would. The more the man talked, however, the more Finn wanted to talk himself. The doctor was listening to him, the doctor was agreeing with him. Talking to someone did feel better. At least, it did if one tried.

"_Is that what Aunt Rita meant when we talked about Dad's heart attack?" _Finn thought. He continued with the therapy. Doctor Severin continued to let Finn talk, and he didn't mention anything about chatter like he did previously. Two hours passed.

"All right, then, Finn. Thank you very much for being so cooperative." Doctor Severin smiled.

"We're done?" Finn remarked sadly.

"For now. You are here until Sunday, and I have only one other client this weekend. I will stop by in the afternoon around this time."

"That...sounds lovely."

"Good afternoon, Finn." Doctor Severin excused himself. Finn lay down for a moment, feeling a lot lighter. While his bed did look comfortable, Finn was not tired. For a moment, he wondered if maybe he should give a ring to his friends and check up on them, but decided against it. Tom would be with Jane, and his buddies would just be getting out of school.

With nothing else to do, Finn picked up the book he had to read for O'Neill's and started to read it. He finished the assignment, and soon after he was done, there was a knock on the door.

"Enter." He called. The door opened, and his mother walked in.

"Finn, it is time for dinner." Helen remarked.

"That time already?" Finn shut the book, he was finished anyway.

"Yes. After that it's couples therapy for me and your father tomorrow."

"Oh?

"How did your session go?"

"Aren't we not supposed to share those things?"

"The doctors are not allowed to share them with me." Helen clarified. "You can tell me anything you want."

"Oh. Well, it's no big deal." Finn removed his T-shirt and found one more suitable for dinner. Helen watched him wordlessly.

"Finn, I'm waiting." Helen remarked.

"Hmmm?" Finn played dumb.

"About your therapy session? What did you discuss?"

"Me." Finn replied briefly.

"Finn, you're not being helpful."

"_Welcome to my world." _Finn criticized mentally.

"You said I can tell you anything I want? I don't wanna talk about it. Besides, I have another session in the morning."

"Who is your therapist."

"Doctor Ross." Finn lied, telling her the name of his old therapist. Hopefully, his mother wouldn't see through the ruse.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. She can't talk about it. Unless you're planning to break into her office and steal her work. You are, aren't you."

"Finn!" Helen was aghast. "Do you talk like that during your therapy sessions?"

"No. Now, I'm hungry." Finn left his room in order to get away from his mother. She just wanted to know if he blasted her in his session, which he did. But he didn't talk about her lawyering, just her abysmal mothering. That was all. If she made partner, Finn was fine with that. There would just be less of her to deal with.

* * *

The next morning, Jake and Helen had their session with Dr. Bacon.

"Now, Jake, and Helen, I want to take this time to explore some of your issues as a married couple."

"That's really not necessary. We're like every other successful working couple." Helen remarked pleasantly.

"Then there's no harm in asking." Dr. Bacon looked towards Jake, who shirked a little at the attention.

"Jake, how are you feeling this evening?" She posed.

"Umm...pretty good, I guess. Think I scraped my hip playing with Finn yesterday." Jake answered.

"I saw that." Helen remarked. "You two fell in the flowerbed."

"Of course, Helen, it's always the accidents you remember." Jake returned.

"Now, Jake." Helen soothed. "We're guests here, we're trying to keep off the flowers."

"Accidents happen." Dr. Bacon remarked. "But I meant how to you feel emotionally right now?"

"Umm, am I supposed to mention that we had..." Jake started to talk.

"No, Jake, that's inappropriate!" Helen remarked. Dr. Bacon, though, took the hint.

"Well, umm...I think I feel pretty good. I did scrape myself, didn't I?" Jake remarked.

"Why don't we take a more direct approach. Jake, what is your marriage like?" Dr. Bacon asked.

"Well, ummm..."

"Our marriage is quite strong. Jake's still that handsome devil all those decades ago." Helen remarked.

"Dammit, Helen, she was talking to me!" Jake insisted. "She always interrupts me when she thinks stupid old Jakey's going to stay something stupid."

"Jake!" Helen was aghast.

"Sorry!" Jake shrunk in his chair.

"No, Jake, don't apologize." Dr. Bacon remarked. "I would like you to elaborate. Tell me more."

"Dr. Bacon..." Helen started.

"It's my turn, dammit!" Jake remarked. "She never lets me do anything. She thinks just because she's the big lawyer who brings in the big fat paycheck, her word is law!"

"What Jake means to say is..."

"Helen, let's deal with Jake now. We can discuss your control issues and superiority complex at your turn."

"What did you say!" Helen remarked.

"Finally, someone else notices!" Jake cheered. "She tells me I can do this and can't do that, all the damn time! And it's worse with the kids!"

"Very good, Jake." Dr. Bacon remarked. "Helen, do you order your children around?"

"Oh Jesus Christ." Helen sighed and rolled her eyes in annoyance. But her eyes widened when Dr. Bacon wrote that down.

* * *

Just after the Morgendorffer's finished lunch, Dr. Bacon joined the family in the dining room.

"I've been talking with the doctors from your individual session, Morgendorffers, and I think we need to have a session as a group."

"Really?" Finn cocked his head in a puzzled manner.

"Yes, Finn. I have read the results of Doctor Severin's report."

"I thought you said your doctor's name was Ross." Helen pointed out.

"She changed." Finn replied briefly.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"That's not important now, family." Dr. Bacon interrupted. "I think it would be beneficial for us all to have a role reversal scene."

"What's that?" Finn asked.

"It means we're going to pretend to be each other." Daria commented snidely. "Can you excuse me, I need to go powder my nose for about three years."

"Daria!" Helen remarked. "Well, doctor, if you think it will be beneficial I suppose we can try it."

"This is so stupid, I can't even think of a cynical comment." Finn remarked.

"Finn!" Helen criticized. "Please take this seriously."

"I was. I was being Daria." Finn answered.

"I can think of a stupid comment, Finn." Daria returned.

"Why don't you try being Finn, Daria?" Dr. Bacon remarked.

"Now I'm just depressed." Daria replied.

"Daria!" Helen returned.

"Hey, I did what she did asked." Daria commented.

"Hey!" Finn now criticized.

"Why don't the parents give it a shot?" Dr. Bacon offered.

"Umm...I don't think this is a good idea." Jake remarked.

"Come on, Jake. This won't take any thought at all." Helen remarked.

"She meant be Dad, not Finn." Daria remarked.

"Daria!" Helen returned.

"Actually, Helen, why don't you be Finn?" Dr. Bacon remarked. "And silence from you and Jake both, Daria. Let's accomplish this, won't we?" Daria rolled her eyes, but said nothing.

"Well, if that's the assignment..." Helen cleared her throat.

"Hey there, I'm the varsity quarterback, kids. I'm living proof that there's nothing you need more in life than a football and ignoring everything else to do it. Forget about schoolwork, just play the game all day every day." Daria snickered at both her mother's lowered voice and her depiction of Finn. While she had never heard that before, it seemed accurate.

Daria looked over at Finn, who scowled at his mother's interpretation of him. She knew how Finn would take it: badly. And he never backed away from a fight. Neither did Helen.

"_Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war." _Daria thought.

* * *

"Now, Finn, perhaps you..." Dr. Bacon turned towards Finn. But he was no longer paying action to the doctor. He had his eyes locked on his mother.

"Hi, Eric!" Finn raised his voice's pitch and pretended as if he was talking on the phone. "No, I just made it back home, I was gonna actually pay attention to my son...wait, what's that? You want to sue Toys for Tots? Aren't they a...oh wow, I guess you could liquidate those assets. Ooh, that is quite a lot of toys. Well, hot damn, screw the children! And when I get back to the office you can tell me all about that horrible growth on your balls. That's the best use of my time." Helen was aghast at her son. His eyes narrowed at her.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Mom, I seem to have booked two dates on our mother-son bonding day. I'd cancel them, but that's just bad form. I'll see you next time." Helen continued to mimic her son.

"Yes, Finn, let's have a power hour! That's what an involved parent does, ignore their child for weeks on end to make up for with an hour of drilling questions. I don't yell at you enough in the moments we sit at the table, so we need to devote an entire block of time to do some things I need to do, but don't worry, I'll make sure I yell at you about something. Drop every plan you've made, we're leaving now. Oh look, too bad, Daria's having another problem with her esteem counselor, that's more important We'll have to reschedule. How is June for you...wait, that's bad, let's make it September. And before I forget, do better in school, you dumb kid!"

"Ummm..." And Helen paused. She couldn't think of anything else to mimic for Finn that she disliked.

Finn, however, continued to speak.

"Oh, Finn there you are. Are you still playing that football again? Oh dammit, Finn, how many times have I told you to do something with actual merit. It's just a pathetic time-waster. Why don't you just sit at home like a log and study."

"Finn, what I meant to say about that was..." Helen started, ignoring the role-reversal,

"You don't like it, you don't get it." Finn dropped his mimicry. "You've never liked anything I do. And because you don't, it's immediately useless."

"Finn, all I want is for you to have a broad range of interests, to think about your future."

"And all I want is to have some maternal support once in a while. But I deal."

"Finn, I have shown up."

"You've shown up to four games in two years. Four! Aunt Rita's shown up to more, and she lives six hours away!"

"Finn, Rita doesn't have a job, she has the time."

"You'd make it if you cared, you did so with Daria!"

"Finn, Daria has...."

"Every time Daria made hell in school and needed to be rescued, you came in on your friggin' white horse. You save her from Ms. Li, you save her from..."

"Finn, Ms. Li charged Daria for altering her own work at an art contest."

"It's still more than I got!" Finn accused. "You think Ms. Li isn't on my ass? You think Ms. Barch hasn't locked me in the closet for "independent study?" Shoved in a dark closet that smells like those fetal pigs we had to dissect. And I know some jar or other was leaking on me! You wanna see the burn scar?"

"What!" Helen remarked with anger. Finn stood up and slammed his fist on the table in anger.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Never cared about Finn, cut him lose and feed him to the wolves! And that's just one time. You think I don't have others." He started breathing heavily for a moment. There was silence at the table.

"Oh wait, we're supposed to be role-reversaling." Finn sat back at the table, his face eerily calm. He cleared his throat.

"Finn, have I ever told you I never wanted you. You're a total disappointment to me and you'll never amount to anything, and god dammit, why can't you be more like Daria? From being born a woman to her grades, she's better then you in everything that matters. I guess I have to take care of you until you're old enough. Wouldn't want some abandoned child to ruin my chance at the partnership, but really, Finn? How dare you think you had the right to be born! How dare you think you had the right to be loved!" Helen's eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but she could not speak. Instead, she stared at Finn.

Helen knew that she and Finn had trouble. But for Finn to believe, truly believe, that Helen considered it a sin that he was ever born? How long had he felt this way? How could he reach such a conclusion? Didn't he know how she felt? It was true she was frustrated with his inability to take his grades seriously, or his constant avoiding of her. But she did care for him, she did love him. He was her son, and that would never change.

"_And that's what the moms of serial murderers say." _Helen's own thoughts chastised herself. "_Either you never wanted Finn and he's telling the truth, or you love him and you never bothered to tell him that. You spent all your time away from work dealing with Daria, you never once told Finn you loved him. When was the last time you did it? A year ago, with the whole anorexia thing? Or did you just blow him off there too once you saw he wouldn't embarrass you with an eating disorder. " _

Helen looked at the ground. Her face turned red. She couldn't even look at Finn anymore, she was so distraught with herself.

She thought she heard Jake's voice say something, but in truth, her ears weren't functioning.

"I'm a bad mother." Helen stated softly, the conclusion she had been fighting to deny for the longest time.

* * *

Time seemed to stop at the table for a moment. Finn's eyes were intense as he stared at his father. Helen's gaze was averted, she looked to the ground, with a large frown on her face. Jake slumped in his chair. Daria did not move. While she was expecting something along these lines to happen, she was still stunned at what happened.

"You hate me." Helen stated with a soft, defeated voice. Finn's expression did not change as Helen remarked. There was more silence with the family. Even Dr. Bacon only took notes and did not open her mouth.

And then Helen stood up slowly from her chair, her eyes never leaving the ground. She walked out the glass doors outside.

"Ummm...Helen!" Jake called, but Helen did not even acknowledge him as she left. A minute later, Finn huffed and left the table, heading in the opposite direction back into the spa.

"Finn!" Jake called again, but his son didn't acknowledge him either. Jake started looking back and forth between the doors he saw his wife and son exit from, as if trying to decide which one to go after first. Daria couldn't fault him for his indecision.

"Daria, what do you think of all of this?" Dr. Bacon asked the daughter. Daria did not reply, instead, she stood up, making her father's decision a lot easier, and went out following Helen.

"Jake?" Daria heard Dr. Bacon talk to her father, presumably to ask the same question she asked her. Daria didn't have to stick around to know her father wouldn't give one. He might even curl into the fetal position.

* * *

Daria found her mother out by the car.

"Mom?" Daria asked.

"Oh!" Helen was surprised to see her. "I just...was going to wait in the car."

"Mom, we don't leave until tomorrow." Daria pointed out. "And I have one more therapy session, so I assume you have at least two more. You know, for the partnership."

"Oh, the partnership." Helen remarked with disdain, the first time Daria had ever heard her mother talk in such a way about her job.

"I spend all my time trying to please that amp-addicted bipolar slave driver and for what?" Helen moaned.

"To get the partnership?" Daria posed innocently.

"Yes, what a fantastic prize. The partnership." Helen's tone was mocking, but Daria did not take offense: Helen's rant wasn't directed at her.

"I get my name on company letterhead and all it cost me was my family."

"Mom, don't you think you're being a little..."

"Didn't it, Daria?" Helen interrupted. "I've shut Finn out so many times and only paid attention enough to yell at him. Why the hell should I be surprised he hates me? He always came last."

"Mom, you cared." Daria tried to encourage. "I mean, you don't ride someone if you don't."

"You don't if that's all you do." Helen returned. "Nine times out of ten I ignored him and the few times I see him I'm all business or I bash him. He spent his whole life treat him like an obligation I had to see through. Like paying taxes."

"Mom, you just got carried away with the job. I never thought you weren't devoted to the family."

"But Daria, I gave you those things. I told you how special you were, to never let anyone keep you down. I stopped Ms. Li from punishing you with that whole art fair project, I came in to save you from that job..."

"Yeah, about that. What you think happened didn't actually happen. Jane made that up to get me out of that job."

"What!" Helen shouted.

"Hey, I didn't ask her to." Daria quickly covered.

"Well that's just fantastic. Even a fake problem you're having is more important to me than a real problem of Finn's." Helen lamented.

"Mom, you didn't know about it. And Finn..."

"...Came home bleeding and I told him to stick it out. Some parenting. And that Ms. Barch woman...Daria, does she really do what Finn said."

"Independent study in the closet?" Daria asked. "I've seen it, yeah."

"And you didn't tell me?" Helen noted.

"Why didn't Finn?" Daria asked, but she knew the answer when she asked the question. Finn wouldn't think it would amount to anything: His mother never did things for his benefit.

"So what do you do? Sue Barch, get her fired for abusing her students? Ms. Li would never stand for it. The publicity would be awful."

"Never underestimate the power of a compromising position. Ms. Li would sell out Barch to avoid the publicity. Few forceful words, come now, Daria, you know how that woman works." Helen clarified.

"So you get Barch fired. You think that'll fix everything?" Daria returned. "You're looking for a quick fix, Mom. I can't tell you how to fix this, but one thing I think will help is if you stopped thinking about what looked good to make yourself partner and say what you really feel like for a change." And Daria walked back into the spa, leaving Helen to think at the car.

* * *

Daria did have one other motivating factor for seeing her mother first. She managed to swipe the extra key to Finn's room she had. While their mother knocked to be polite, Daria knew that now would not be the time for such social graces. She opened the door to Finn's room and pushed her way inside.

Finn was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling, and he was none too pleased with the intrusion.

"What do you want? Come to gloat?" Finn stood up, presumably to get her to leave.

"Gloat?"

"Well, congratulations. You win, Daria. I lose. She's yours."

"Finn, this isn't a contest." Daria remarked.

"Isn't it? You always said you wanted something I could never have, something I could never take from you. Well there it is. Go ahead, keep her."

"Finn, you need to understand..." Daria started.

"Go ahead and laugh. I tried for years and fell on my face, and all you had to do was exist. Even my tricks getting gifts wasn't that simple."

"Finn..."

"Daria, shut up, and go away. You have what you want, quit bothering me."

"Listen to me for three seconds..."

"I don't need your bragging." Finn shouted.

"I'm not bragging, I'm trying to tell you that..."

"What, I should change my entire lifestyle to get Mom's love? Give up football, give up boxing, give up everything to be just like you?"

"No, I'm trying to tell you that you should give Mom another chance. Now that she knows about it..." Daria protested.

"She's going to try and make an attempt so she can look like the involved mother." Finn asided. "Lovely. Well, guess I need to book some more dates then."

"Finn..." Daria started, but soon realized the futility. It was deeply surprising to her how far Finn's hatred truly went. Even Daria did not hate her brother that much.

"Finn, everything Mom sacrificed for, she did for us." Daria tried a different approach.

"You know as well as I do that's not true." Finn returned. "Mom loves the prestige, she loves to lawyer. That's what she enjoys."

"_So much for that plan." _Daria moaned.

"Daria, just get out." Finn pleaded desperately. "I already know better than to blame you for Mom's favoritism. So I'm not going to kill you in your sleep. Leave." Daria huffed, and went away. Helen and Finn both were stubborn, but Daria knew her mother better than her brother. She wondered, if, maybe, she should ask her father to sit in, but that wouldn't work. Their father was madly in love with Helen and was Finn's father, every step of the way. To make him choose a side was cruel, even for Daria.

Daria went back into her own room, keeping Finn's key. It would not do well for his mother to see Finn now.

* * *

Helen had an evening therapy session scheduled with Dr. Bacon. For a moment, she wondered, if, perhaps, she could have a session with Finn's therapist. If she remembered, his name was Severin. But he had a client who was not Finn.

"Well, that was certainly...revealing." Dr. Bacon said to Helen once in the privacy of her office. Before, Helen had her sessions with the woman while seated upright in a chair, with perfect posture. Now, she lay on a couch.

"So that's my relationship with my son." Helen lamented, no longer caring about the partnership. She needed to know what to do with Finn now. That took priority.

"_And when was the last time you thought that?" _Helen chastised herself.

"You mentioned something to me before, and after that session, I find myself wondering. You claim to have a difficult time praising Finn, yes?" Dr. Bacon remarked.

"Y...yes." Helen admitted. "Everytime I want to, I just criticize him."

"Why is that?" Dr. Bacon asked. Helen relayed what she had told Daria.

"So, you want Finn to respect hard work and drive?" The doctor asked.

"That Finn, people eat out of his hand." Helen remarked. "Everyone in his school, especially the girls, do it."

"It seems to me like Finn does understand that. Football, keeping up his appearance, he knows how to work for what he wants. It seems to me like you want him to respect something else."

"Huh?"

"You work all the time, don't you? You wanted him to respect the long hours you worked." Dr. Bacon pointed out, Helen couldn't deny it. After all, it was the reason why she asked him to get a job.

"Tell me, is there a slacker in your family?"

"A slacker? Well, I guess the only person would be Rita, my elder sister."

"I've heard you mention her name before. Isn't she the one Finn gets along with."

"I certainly didn't encourage that." Helen challenged. "At his age, Rita was already sleeping with the quarterback. Never went to college, barely graduated high school, just threw herself to rich men. She knew how to bat her eyelashes and work her...well, womanly powers."

"You don't want Finn on that path?" Dr. Bacon remarked. "You want Finn to work and become respectable. You're seeing Rita all over again, and you want him to be you."

"I...well, it's without honor!" Helen protested. "Rita always had it easy. Flirted her way through life, never had to work a day. Spends her time with leisure. Planning cruises, shopping, staying at home with Erin. And Erin, oh, she was worse in school than Finn is."

"You're jealous." Dr. Bacon remarked.

"Excuse me?"

"Rita had it easy, Rita never had to suffer. Spends her time shopping. You envy her. You wish you had it that easy."

"Don't we all?" Helen remarked. "Who wouldn't love to spend the day doing whatever strikes your whim?"

"And you're jealous of Finn, too."

"I...beg your pardon? Jealous? Of my son?"

"That's why you could never praise him." Dr. Bacon pointed out. "You were too scared to indulge anything other than what you consider "honest work" because you didn't want him to end up like Rita. You're jealous that you son can get things, just like Rita, without having to suffer for it. Not like you."

"I...I mean, there is nothing wrong with looking good..."

"...As long as it comes second? Nothing wrong with football as long as his grades come first? So you condemn his negative features?"

"So what now? How can I get him to..." Helen trailed off.

"Like you?" Dr. Bacon asked. "Or to be a success? Two different questions."

"The..." Helen trailed off. "The former. I already know Finn will be a success. It doesn't matter what he does."

"What do you mean?"

"I love my Daria, and she will go out into the world and succeed. But Finn, he'll go out and conquer. He has that ambition, that drive, and he is more than willing to play hardball to get ahead. He starts a business, it'll go Fortune 500. He becomes a doctor, royalty asks for him by name. He plays football, he'll win the Super Bowl. Multiple times."

"That's a very praiseworthy thing to say. How come you didn't mention it before?" Dr. Bacon asked.

"I care for Finn, I always have. But he loves Jake, and Rita. Is that what he wants, to be surrounded by people who don't challenge him?"

"There's a difference between challenging and never pleased. You treated your children differently and they caught on. You need to stop obsessing over the relationship that Jake and Rita have with your son and work on making your own. You're never going to have the relationship your husband has with him. Work on your own, you already have a lot of work to do."

"Where...do I start?"

"Here? Nothing. He's bound not to listen to anyone at this point in time, least of all you. But sort your thoughts out. Your son is special to you, so ask yourself why. Make the time for him, like you did for your daughter."

"Like punishing that teacher for what she did?"

"I'd advise against that, you'd be the lawyer, not the mom. There might be time for that later, if you still feel strongly about it." Dr. Bacon remarked.

"That woman lays her hand on my son, she will regret it!"

"Concentrate on your son. That's all you can do now."

* * *

Back at the office on Monday, Eric came into the office with the results from Quiet Ivy.

"Helen Morgendorffer suffers from a competitive nature, superiority complex, and the belief that other's opinions are not important." Each insult cut into Helen like a knife.

"Congratulations! That's the same results I got when I became partner so long ago!" Eric cheered. "You're going to be a partner!"

"_Partner." _Helen forced a laugh.

"Let's see that career-driven woman in action. We just got a new case come in. The defense team for these guys, one of their lawyers took paternity leave. Can you imagine. The baby doesn't come out of him!"

And Helen sighed. There was the partnership, in the bittersweet package. All it cost her was catering to Eric, and Finn's love. It wasn't worth it.

* * *

The next morning, Helen had to leave a little later from the house because she was due in at court, not the office. Finn was seated alone at the table, eating some eggs, and not looking rather glum.

"Good morning, Finn!" Helen regarded him warmly.

"Yo." Finn acknowledged without looking at his mother.

"Would you like anything for breakfast."

"I'm eating breakfast." Finn remarked smartly. "And no. Don't want you to get egg on your business dress. That looks bad in a hearing."

"Finn, I..." Helen started, but stopped. Here it was, her inability to tell him anything positive.

"Finn, your next football game, that's on Friday?"

"Yeah, six o'clock against Oakwood. Home game."

"Please tell your father to make sure he buys me a ticket." Finn regarded his mother with suspicion.

"Well, they're cheaper if you order them beforehand, right?"

"No, they're the same price. Discount is not in Ms. Li's vocabulary. Though I learned the word tithe from her. " Finn remarked.

"You know, Finn, it might be late, but the fact that you are the team's star quarterback is quite an accomplishment, particularly for a sophomore."

"Thanks." Finn replied dryly.

"Finn, I..."

"Mom, just drop it." Finn interrupted. "No one's up, you don't have to pretend."

"Finn, I'm not pretending. You're a success in that sport because you've got quick thinking and a brilliantly tactical mind." Helen ignored the thought she had that football was not something to which Finn should be devoting his attentions.

"And I'd like to see that brilliant mind of yours in action! I know how you feel, Finn, and I can't change what happened. But at the very least I'd like to come out and support you, if you'll just let me."

"If you want." Finn shrugged. "But you'll have to forgive me if I don't hold my breath." Finn returned to his eggs. And as she walked out the door to the car, Helen was working out the plan. There was nothing scheduled in the office, and she'd make sure to leave the cellular on silent, at home, that day.

Slow steps, Helen told herself. One step at a time. There was a new priority for the new partner.

Helen wrote down a note for her to ask Marianne when Finn would drop by to teach Tony how to play the sport. Perhaps Marianne could pick up a _Football for Dummies_ book she could take a look at.

Helen knew that the quest to re-establish some sort of meaningful relationship with Finn, particularly since she only had two years and some change, was not going to be easy. But, if there was one thing Helen wasn't afraid of, it was hard work.


	29. Burn Out

After the incident at the retreat, Finn found himself staying at the school to workout more often. While "cheap" was an excellent word used to describe the portly principal, she went extravagantly on the school's workout room to keep the trophy and prestige-winning athletes in tip-top shape.

Although his buddies sometimes came with him, Finn would workout there for long hours even if he was alone: he simply just didn't use free weights if he did. There was no sense in spending any more time there then was necessary, Finn thought. He had no need to pretend to care now with everything in the open, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her lecture him on whatever it was she was planning.

Doctor Severin did talk to him after the assessment, just like he promised, but Finn still found himself a bit lost. The doctor had told him that with all the air clear between him and his mother, he was free to do whatever he wished.

"_Whatever that meant." _Finn thought. There was no relationship. There was nothing to mourn. And his mother made the partnership to. Everyone got what they wanted. Now Finn could ignore needing Jane, Tom, or someone else to bail him out of those stupid mother-son "bonding" days. Even this had its upsides, if one knew where to look for them.

Finn sighed as he started on the leg press. This should have been so simple. Yet, why was it so depressing.

* * *

Finn didn't get home until very late. His mother was already in bed, Another early day for the new partner. His father was not home, but Finn remembered he had a business dinner with a restaurant owner he was trying to get as a client.

"_Good luck, Dad." _Finn thought. He stopped in the kitchen to fix himself a quick snack.

"_Look at that. Almost May already. My birthday's coming up." _Finn thought. Sixteen candles on the cake. He'd have to call his friends. There was no way he'd be spending his special day with his mother. He'd see his father in the morning at the very least, and Aunt Rita could call. There was no way he'd be around for Helen.

Finn finished his snack quietly and went upstairs into his room. He did what was left of his homework, not that there was very much to it. Once he finished, he got ready for bed, and slowly started to fall asleep.

Sleep was not easy for Finn ever since Quiet Ivy. He tossed and turned, mulling over everything that happened, and he was surprised that he was doing so. It was the whole thing with Stacy calling him cruel all over again.

* * *

Eventually, Finn found his eyes starting to close, but as soon as it happened, Finn started hearing a loud beeping noise, and some frantic shouting. It was his father's voice, but, between Finn's tiredness and the noise, he couldn't make anything out.

Finn pushed himself out of bed, but only for his mother to burst into the door, still wearing her pajamas.

"Finn! The house is on fire!" She shouted.

"Oh jeez!" Finn quickly grabbed a T-shirt and sneakers from the floor. There was absolutely no way he was going to run out on the street in the middle of the night wearing just his boxers. Who knew where people would have embarrassing camera footage.

Finn didn't see any fire, but he saw a lot of smoke from the kitchen. What the heck happened there? Although he didn't want to admit it, it was probably a careless move of his father's by the stove. Why would he be cooking past midnight? Why was he even up? But his father did look to be safe, even if frantic and screaming as he was sheperding Daria down the steps.

The fire department arrived not long later. Finn was still out of it so much that he couldn't pay attention to his parent's arguing, or Daria's casual sniping on the matter.

The fire department gave the all clear. Although the entire house still smelled like smoke, Finn was able to make it back to his room, where he tried to fall asleep again. Now, though, it was even harder.

* * *

The next day was Saturday, and the entire family was instructed to stick around so they would know the results of the damage. Once Finn went inside the kitchen, though, he didn't think there was anything wrong. There was a lot of black soot on the kitchen, but nothing seemed to be destroyed.

"It's mostly just smoke damage, repainting is pretty much the only thing we have to do." The insurance adjuster noted.

"How long will that take?" Helen asked.

"Two weeks, thereabouts."

"Which means two months since they'll contract it." Daria snidely commented.

"Daria, this is not the time!" Helen criticized. Finn kept his mouth shut.

"Your policy covers this." The insurance adjuster remarked. "You're allowed to stay at a hotel on a per diem."

"What's that?" Finn asked.

"It's a fixed amount per day. There are a few places nearby that'll compensate. The Dutchman Inn..." The man started.

"What! That place has that giant clog in the lobby!" Finn protested.

"Umm...this per diem thing." Jake started. "It's not...restricted to specific hotels, right? So anything under the amount would work?"

"That's right, Mister Morgendorffer." The adjuster remarked.

"I have an idea!" Jake pulled out his cellular and went into the back yard.

"I hope this is better than the one he had to light the house on fire." Helen commented smartly.

"Hey, that was just an accident." Finn remarked.

"And a foolish one. We could have all been hurt or worse." Helen returned. Finn had to admit that one was true. His father's bungling usually just meant he got his arm caught in something. He didn't usually put others in harm's way.

But Finn would not yell at his father. His mother would do that. But it wasn't as if his father tried to hurt everyone.

"I'm just so glad everyone's safe." Helen remarked.

"Yeah." Finn returned.

"I'm going to get some stuff ready for this hotel. I'll need to decorate the giant clog. It'll be like family." Daria noted before heading upstairs.

"Be careful!" Helen called to her. Finn fixed himself a glass of iced tea and took a seat at the table. Helen simply stood at the stove and marveled how Jake managed to leave paper towels over a gas stove.

Then she noticed her son, still looking as morose as ever. She had gone to the football game she had claimed she would, but Finn still seemed as distant as ever.

"_Maybe I'm approaching this all wrong. Maybe I need to spend some more real time with Finn. Maybe I need to stop criticizing whenever I see Rita emerge and just ignore her for a while." _Helen reasoned.

"I think now would be the best time to take that vacation time. Two weeks to paint, two weeks vacation, it's like fate."

"Do we still have to go to school?" Finn asked.

"Of course." Helen remarked. "But don't worry about the bus or anything. Either me or your father will make sure you get there."

"I..." Finn started to speak, but then Jake burst through the back door, cheering to himself and looking very pleased.

"Dad?" Finn asked.

"I just got off the phone with the manager of _Le Grand Hotel!" _Jake said with a cheer.

"Jake, that place would never be in budget." Helen remarked.

"I told them the story, and the manager told us not to worry about that! He would give us a discount to match the per diem! He even said if I help him while I'm there to make some new print ads, he'll comp all our meals."

"Jake, that's very clever of you!" Helen praised.

"That place is like, super swank!" Finn added. "You did great, dad!"

"Awww, thanks Finn!" Jake chuckled like a child who colored inside the lines, and went upstairs to tell Daria.

"Well, look at that." Helen regarded. Finn returned to his tea.

"Can I bring the VCR?" Finn asked.

"The VCR? Why?"

"Well, I wanna review some of the games the team played this year." Finn replied. "Study up, see what I gotta work on come summer. And we're losing a number of people to graduation, so I'm going to have to compensate that in planning."

"Oh, well, that's...certainly industrious of you, Finn." Helen remarked.

"_Again, it's all about football." _Helen sighed, but only to herself. Helen herself could never get into the game, and only knew enough to engage at the firm's Super Bowl party.

"Coach Gibson has copies of the tapes, he'll let me borrow them."

"Well, I suppose that's all right." Helen remarked.

"Thanks." Finn replied politely, but without emotion.

"You know, Finn, these two weeks away would be a great time to spend together as a family."

"Didn't we already try that at the retreat?" Finn asked, reminding his mother of what went down there. Helen tried to ignore it.

"I'm just saying that we'll all be in the same place. It would be nice if we spent this time together as a family. We should bond." Helen tried earnestly.

"Mom, you don't have to pretend to like me. It's okay, I get it." Finn's tone was slightly annoyed, but it didn't carry the bitter venom it did at the retreat.

"Finn, I'm not pretending. I can only apologize so many times about what happened."

"This isn't about apologizing, Mom, I just don't see the point in either of us spending pointless time together when all we do is drive each other crazy. Just...go be happy with Daria. I know that's what you want."

"Finn, and what do you want?" Helen asked.

"It's clear to me that what I want doesn't matter to you." Finn returned as he went left towards the living room. Helen didn't hear him taking apart the VCR, so he must have went back to his room."

"_Finn." _Helen moped. She truly had her work cut out for her.

"_Is that...what you want? To just tolerate each other until you head off to college, and then we only see each other when you visit? You don't want to ever see me again? That that...doesn't make you sad?" _

It may not have for Finn, but it certainly did for Helen. She maintained her composure for as long as she could.

* * *

The insurance adjuster was over in the early morning, so the family was packed and in the car by early afternoon.

"This might not be so bad." Finn remarked pleasantly to his father.

"Yeah! I'll be helping the hotel at the hotel, so you can't beat the commute, golf courses, pool, no cleaning."

"Jake, like you clean the house." Helen commented while rolling her eyes.

"Dammit, Helen, can't you look at the positives for once." Jake returned.

"I've been up since one, dealing with first a fire then an insurance adjuster. I just know our premiums are going to go up because of this." Finn ignored their fighting. He had other things on his mind. The house being on fire was distressing enough, Finn didn't want to think about the bad that was constantly there.

Finn had never been to _Le Grand Hotel _before. It's not as if he needed a hotel in Lawndale. But one look at it immediately made Finn glad his father had the clever thought. It was quite large, and extravagant.

"Now, remember, we're on a per-diem. If you kids do anything that make us go over, you're paying for it." Helen remarked. "That means no mini-bar."

"Awww..." Finn remarked.

"We're already getting our meals compensated." Helen explained. "Eat your fill there." The family exited the car.

"Welcome to Le Grand Hotel." The bellboy responded as he assisted the family with the luggage carrier.

Finn left his parents to handle the check-in details, and took a seat on the plush chairs in the lobby.

"_This could have ended up a lot worse." _Finn thought with a smile. This place had a fully equipped workout center, pool, and sauna. He could invite his buddies over, and, unlike that boy's night he had planned before, this might actually go over well.

"Alright, then." Helen returned to the family. "Daria, your room is 505, and Finn, yours is 507. And we're in 502 right down the hall."

"Separated from the rest of the family. Okay, now I'm starting to see the cheery side of this." Daria commented.

"Go ahead and unpack, you two. Dinner will be at 6 in the restaurant." Helen remarked. Finn grabbed his suitcases and made his way up to his room. Once inside, he surveyed his new digs. With a large screen TV, giant bed, many dressers, and more, Finn certainly wasn't going to be hating his surroundings for the next two weeks.

Although Finn was tired, he decided against taking a nap at the moment. If that workout room was as luxurious as his room, he would have something else to praise his father about.

* * *

The next day, Sunday, was quite relaxing. Daria planned on spending the day with Jane. While Daria's accommodations were not uncomfortable, there was little to do at the hotel itself that matched her interests.

Of course, Daria wouldn't be able to head over to Jane's until the afternoon. But eventually, she made her way there around 1.

Jane was still bleary-eyed when Daria arrived, and yawned as she brought Daria into the house.

"You want some breakfast?" Jane asked.

"Breakfast kinda loses it's purpose in the PM."

"Good, there's nothing to eat in the house anyway. You called las night, what's up?" Jane asked. Daria explained the story of what happened the previous night.

"So after the destruction of my cherished childhood home..."

"Daria, you moved here nearly two years ago." Jane corrected.

"...We got shipped off to a glamourous hotel."

"And you choose to spend it with me? I'm touched. Or is this the part where I slap you for throwing away something cool?"

"There's nothing to do there."

"In a luxury hotel? I bet _Sick, Sad, World_ is better on those TV's. And you can watch it while in bed only a few feet away."

"I can do that anywhere. I'd rather hang out with you."

"Well, Tom's about to come over in a few minutes. Hey, Daria, what do you think of him?"

"Tom? He's all right. We discussed the Great Leap Forward for about an hour and a half one time."

"When was this?" Jane asked.

"When we were waiting for you to get ready to go out for pizza."

"Oh, right. I think I fell asleep." Jane remarked. Daria stared at her.

"Anyway, why do you ask?" Daria posed.

"It's just...things have been weird lately." Jane posed. "Tom's been pretty distant. Ever since that fight we had about the gummi bears, and the one about the webcam."

"I saw that." Daria still blushed when she thought of that one. Jane had set up a webcam to showcase her life to the world, not telling anyone else about it. Tom happened to be playing air guitar one time in her room, shaking his butt exactly where he shouldn't have.

"So you had a little fight. I've never known Tom to get so huffy about such things."

"You've never known Tom like that?" Jane raised her eyebrow and placed emphasis on the last word.

"So he's not a jerk. We get along. It had to happen eventually. Or maybe I lost sight and he got past the blast shields." Daria commented. There was a knock at the door. Jane went to answer it, and, sure enough, she returned with Tom.

"Hey, Daria, how's it going." Tom commented pleasantly.

"Hey." Daria averted her gaze a little. Perhaps it was just the fact that Tom, unlike practically everyone at Lawndale, had a brain and was unafraid to use it, Daria found him rather fascinating. If only he wasn't Finn's friend.

"_I suppose there's no accounting for taste." _Daria thought.

"Daria?" Tom posed. Daria didn't realize she was staring.

"Sorry." Daria posed.

"She's just distracted. After all, her house burned down and now she's staying in a luxury hotel, and somehow she thinks it's better to come here." Jane teased her.

"The house didn't burn down, it just had some smoke damage." Daria returned, somewhat sourly.

"I know, Finn already called and told me about it yesterday night." Tom returned. "He said he tried to reach you too, Jane."

"So did I." Daria commented.

"Sorry, Trent had a gig." Jane returned.

"That's a nice hotel." Tom smiled at Daria. "It's a nice place to stay for two weeks."

"If you say so." Daria tried to be brusque to draw attention away from her staring at Tom.

"Then I'll switch with you. You stay here and I'll sleep at the hotel." Jane remarked.

"I don't think that my mother will appreciate it."

"It's per diem, she's not spending any more money." Jane remarked. "Besides, I'll stomach a mother-daughter bonding day with Helen if it means I stay there for two weeks."

"This show of eagerness for the hotel wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the thought of getting free food out of this?"

"You did say there were free meals." Jane remarked.

"Why don't we go there anyway?" Tom chimed in. "Finn's already invited me."

"New plans of the day." Jane eagerly agreed. "We're going to _Le Grand Hotel." _

"Works for me. My parents are throwing a fancy dinner, and I'm expected." Tom commented. "Of course, I heard about it this morning."

"Kay should really write a book on the surprise parental ambush. Helen would buy the first copy." Jane remarked of Tom and Daria's mother.

"Or we could do something fun." Daria tried to sway the two into thinking her way.

"Like what?" Tom asked.

"Well, there's a Fellini film festival. We can get a good price on a mantinee show." Daria remarked.

"Tempting, but I'm expected to show up to this dinner." Tom reminded.

"You'd make it with plenty of time to spare."

"That's the point. I'm supposed to show up. They never said I had to be on time." Daria smiled at Tom's evil plan.

"If you don't want to come, Daria, you don't have to. I mean, I'm sure we can..." Jane started.

"Nonsense, Jane." Tom insisted. "I'm sure we can manipulate Finn to let you stay for the compensated meals."

"He'd do it if we asked him."

"Asking is a form of manipulation. So, Daria, you coming?" Tom offered.

Daria sighed.

"I might as well."

* * *

Finn was waiting in the lobby when Daria, Jane, and Tom arrived back at the hotel.

"Hey, there you all are!" Finn called out pleasantly.

"Afternoon, Finn." Tom greeted pleasantly.

"Swanky place." Jane commented.

"Careful, she's hungry." Daria commented snidely.

"Well, I was about to head to the pool. Mom and Dad are already there, they wanted us to do family time. So, of course, when Tom told me he was coming, I came here to wait."

"Actually, I'm thinking we could stop by the pool." Jane remarked. "It gives me an idea for a painting."

"Well, if that's what you want to do, Jane. I'm sure there's some pool furniture I can nap on." Tom shrugged. "It's not like I have trunks anyway."

"Tom, I can lend you a pair if you need." Finn offered.

"That's okay..."

"No, no biggie. Come on, dude, let's go to the pool and act like children."

"I insist." Jane cocked her head at Tom in a slightly suggestive fashion. "I'll need to change anyway. Daria, where are you at?" The entire group went up towards the elevator. Daria and Jane stopped off at her room, while Finn escorted Tom into his.

Finn rummaged through his drawers and handed Tom a pair of trunks.

"Thanks." Tom headed into the bathroom. Finn had already changed, so he flipped through the channels as he waited.

"_Heh." _Finn thought as he saw channel after channel of nothing. "_And I thought I wouldn't need rescuing from Jane and Tom anymore. I guess there's going to be no avoiding her for a while at least. Why she persists in this farce of a family is beyond me." _Finn thought sadly of his mother, down at the pool already. What was her angle? What was she after? Nothing jumped out at Finn.

"_It can't be work, it can't be Daria. Why does she insist on still pretending to like me. I mean, no one's judging her here. After all, that's all she does, search for praise. Can't be anything else. She can't actually feel bad. She would never have been that way if she wasn't." _

"Finn, is everything all right?" A voice jarred Finn from his deep thoughts. He turned up to see that Tom had changed into trunks and a T-shirt.

"Oh, nothing. I was just waiting."

"I've been ready for half a minute now. Is something wrong?" Tom asked pleasantly.

"It's...it's nothing."

"Finn, you've been really moody ever since you got back from that weekend retreat thing. And I know something happened there." Tom challenged. Finn's eyes went wide.

"How did..."

"Daria mentioned something about it. And I asked about it after you wouldn't tell me, so don't shoot your block off at her."

"Well, yeah. She's not lying." Finn admitted.

"Everything okay?" Tom asked. Finn didn't reply.

"If you don't want to talk about it, fine. But I know some of the details, and I've been over your house since it happened. You're really not doing yourself any favors sitting around hating her for it."

"There's no other way to think about it." Finn returned. "I'm not angry."

"But you are bitter."

"Wouldn't you?"

"Perhaps. But you know, you don't have to be." Tom offered. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but my advice is to try and work things out."

"Tom, I really don't care to discuss this. Come on, let's hit the pool." Finn remarked. But Finn couldn't get Tom's words out of his head as he went downstairs.

* * *

Jane had changed into a halter top and brought her sketch pad with her out to the pool with Daria. Once she found a suitable place to lay down, she started scanning around the pool while drawing something with a pencil. Daria could not see what it was, but she likely believed it to have nothing to do with what was going on at the pool. Jane did not draw such...peaceful things. Not often, at least.

"You know, Daria, I'm a little surprised that you came out and joined me." Jane remarked.

"And miss out on family bonding time? I'm still tabulating the results of the last time. But there's no such thing as too much ammo. There's only having the wrong gun."

"I guess." Jane remarked. Daria had only told her a few details regarding the weekend spa trip, just that her mother and Finn blew up at each other. Finn wouldn't comment on any of it to her, and refused to indulge her.

It bothered Jane more than she'd admit to her best friend. While the relationship between Finn and Daria seemed to have calmed down since she first met them, there was still a little tension, some sniping. Old habits never die, it seemed.

But talking to Daria about such things would not help matters. And besides, Finn and Tom went over to join the rest of them.

"Hello, strangers." Jane remarked pleasantly.

"What'cha drawing?" Finn asked.

"You know better than to ask." Jane returned.

"Worth asking."

"Eventually, he'll try theft." Tom remarked. "I have a betting pool on when."

"Put me in, I'm good for it." Jane continued to tease.

"Hey, not funny. Come on, let's hit the water, Tom." Finn put down his bag of stuff and removed his T-shirt and sandals.

"You ladies won't be joining us?" Tom asked politely.

"I don't do water." Jane remarked. "Besides, good secret drawing."

"In the pool? You are aware there are other people in that pool? And also children. Sorry, I'm just not brave enough." Daria commented flatly.

"Suit yourself." Tom pulled his T-shirt off, and went over to the diving well to join Finn.

"Ah, those two ridiculous guys." Jane took her eyes of her sketch to take in the view of the two of them.

"Some say it's impolite to stare." Daria remarked.

"But which one am I staring at?" Jane returned.

"It better be your boyfriend. Otherwise, I'll be required to trepan your skull."

"And just who are you staring at?" Jane remarked as she followed Daria's gaze.

"I was just seeing what all the fuss is. And trying to get myself to throw up." Daria returned to looking at Jane, and then reverted to laying back down on the lounge chair. But Jane did not look away from Daria for a moment.

"_You wouldn't be looking at Finn, that could only mean...No, it couldn't be. This sun is playing tricks on my head. Could it? I mean, Daria did warm up to him...and Tom's over a lot to see Finn without me knowing. What is it I'm missing?" _

_

* * *

_

After about an hour's worth of fun in the sun, all the while ignoring his mother, Finn and Tom finished their game of Marco Polo with a pair of rather hot slightly-older twin girls. Finn never caught their names, but maybe he'd see them again some other time. There was something about twins that was always so fascinating.

After the game was complete, Finn and Tom headed back to his room.

"Hey, can I borrow a shower. My parents will probably wonder why my hair smells like chlorine if I head off now. Besides, I can only blame so much lateness on traffic alone."

"Sure, dude, go ahead. You can just leave those wet trunks on the bathtub." Finn offered. Once Tom was safely tucked away in the shower and the water flared up, Finn changed into a pair of workout shorts and started doing elevated pushups. He didn't want to leave the room, that would be such bad form. Such a workout was not difficult, and Finn's thoughts started to wander as he did so.

"_Work things out?" _Finn thought about what Tom had said. Such a thing was fruitless. There was nothing to work out. Mom wanted Daria, not him. Choosing one over the other was not a necessity, Finn knew. But whether Helen viewed it as a such a choice, or merely despised him did not matter. His mother would not choose him over Daria were it relevant.

"Hey, Tom!" Finn knocked on the shower door. "I'm getting a soda and some ice. You want?" Tom called back a polite refusal, and Finn grabbed his card key and exited the room. Finn knew that his buddy meant well, but it didn't do to have someone like him comment on such things. He did not know Helen. He didn't see everything he had gone through.

* * *

While Finn and Tom left to change, Daria and Jane made their way into Daria's room. Daria had already asked her mother if Jane could stick around for dinner, and Helen agreed.

Daria wondered if Tom would blow off his prior commitment and join them as well. He certainly did not seem to want to go, and, knowing Tom, knew that he only did such things for his family's benefit on small occasions. He could choose to blow off his family at a moment's notice. Daria did that too.

"Hey, Daria?" Jane posed.

"Huh?" Daria was distracted a moment. Jane had already changed back into her normal clothes.

"Daria? I got a question."

"You don't need to be formal, ask whatever." Daria shrugged.

"Daria, about Tom..." Jane started.

"You're kind of obsessing." Daria teased, but paused.

"When you..." Jane trailed off, and she looked quite uncomfortable.

"What about Tom?" Daria asked.

"Oh, never mind. It's nothing. Hey, you guys brought your VCR?" Jane remarked, gesturing to the VCR sitting on top of Daria's dresser. She hadn't bothered to set it up yet.

"Yeah, I saw it in my dad's room and I asked if I could borrow it. Figure a rented movie might be useful if I find myself stuck here. Maybe get an old flick after dinner?"

"Hmmm...Actually, I think I'll pass. I need to whip something up in Barch's class anyway."

"Shame."

"Or maybe Tom and I will head out on a date." Jane remarked.

"Hey, if you want." Daria was not interested. She turned her eyes towards Jane and noticed her peering strangely. As if Daria was a painting that one couldn't exactly figure out the meaning of.

"_I should charge you for that_." Daria shrugged. After she finished speaking, there was a knock at the door.

Jane, standing closer to the door, opened it up to find Helen standing in the doorway.

"Hello, Jane!" Helen greeted warmly. "And Daria...ah, there you are."

"Hey, Mom." Daria acknowledged her mother.

"I just came to get the two of you." Helen informed. "Jake's going to be working later, so I figured since he's not due in just yet, we'd all have dinner first."

"Do I have to fake being Daria's fraternal twin. Wonder if I can dye my hair red real quick." Jane teased.

"Jane, I doubt that will be necessary." Helen remarked. "We just submit the bill, and if anyone asks..."

"She stiffs me." Daria interrupted.

"It can be worked out. There is nothing unusual with having a guest for dinner." Helen commented smartly. "Sometimes I think you...Daria, is that the VCR?" Helen's eyes settled on Daria's dresser.

"Yeah. Dad said to go ahead and take it."

"Oh! I promised Finn he could use it."

"I didn't." Daria shrugged.

"And you're not using it now." Helen didn't miss a step. "Put it in his room."

"Mom, I was planning on..."

"Now, Daria." Helen insisted. She fished in her purse and pulled out a card key with the letter "F" written on it in a black marker. That mother of hers always kept the spare keys. She never trusted her children with them.

"Go ahead and do that now, Daria." Helen instructed. "Jane and I will head for dinner." And without another word, Helen walked out the door with Jane in tow.

* * *

Tom shut the water off, stepped out of the tub, and started drying himself off. He had taken a nice, long shower. Anything to shave off those unnecessary minutes with his pathetic family.

"_And speaking of family." _Tom was glum as he thought of the other occupant in the room. Finn's relationship with his mother was perhaps one of the worst relationships Tom had ever seen. Worse than any of his, that was for sure. The details he knew about it were slim, but Tom knew it was hurting Finn. When Tom had finished changing, he noticed Finn starting glumly at the TV, and, just like at the boy's night he was at before the retreat, Finn was not the peppy, picture-perfect smiling child he was when other people were around.

When Tom had finished drying himself off, he hung the borrowed wet pair of swim trunks on the bathtub as Finn requested, then he turned around, trying to find his normal, dry clothes. They were nowhere to be found.

"_Okay, where did they go." _Tom wondered. He had gone into the bathroom, changed into the trunks.

"_And then I folded them and put them on the bed. And I didn't think to bring them in here why?" _Tom chastised himself. He cracked open the bathroom door a little.

"Finn." Tom called, tying the towel he used around his waist. Finn could bring them in for him. But there was silence in the room.

"Finn!" Tom called again, a little more forcefully. Finn did say he was getting a soda and ice. Was he searching around the hotel for the right soda? Or did the hotel's luxurious surroundings betray him, and the hotel's ice machine not dispense what was required of it.

"_Oh well." _Tom thought. What could he do? He went out into the room, and sure enough, the room was empty. And there were his clothes, still very neatly folded and sitting on the bed.

"_Heh, I talk all that stuff about not being like my family, and I still know how to fold my clothes like that." _Tom chuckled to himself as he removed his towel and started to change.

* * *

Daria grumbled as she grabbed the card key her mother left for her and started to get the VCR.

"_And why would you need this thing?" _Daria criticized her brother. "_And why didn't Dad just say Finn needed it?" _Perhaps he merely didn't know, or forgot. Their father was spending all day hitting the golf course, as well as copious amounts of napping by the pool. According to their mother, he was helping the hotel with some ads tonight.

"_It is kind of cool that you do this for us, Dad. Now, if only I could get you to do this brute donkey work of hauling the VCR." _Daria thought. While the thing wasn't heavy, it still had it's cords and such. Daria thought about knocking on the door, but she had a key anyway, and didn't want to stand around carrying the thing in the hallway. She quickly pushed the keycard into the door and pushed it open without a word.

Of all the things Daria expected to see in the room, what she saw there was not it. Finn did not seem to be in the room at all. Tom, however, still was in the room. And he wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing.

* * *

"Eep!" Daria wasn't sure if the sound came from her mouth or Tom's as she regarded the scene in front of her. Tom was frozen in a dead panic for a moment, but quickly seemed to regain his composure enough to dive out of sight.

"No one ever taught you to knock?" Tom called from out of sight.

"No one ever taught you to keep your shorts on?" Daria returned the sniping. There was silence for a moment, only rustling was heard, and Daria presumed Tom was making himself decent. A moment later, he returned. While he would only have had to put on his boxers to be decent, Tom dressed fully, even wearing his thick sweater in the warm weather. By the red in his face, he was clearly as unhappy as she was about the whole situation.

"You mind telling me what exactly you were doing?" Daria asked.

"I was getting dressed." Tom noted. "I must have left my clothes out here, I called for Finn and he wasn't there, I thought I could get dressed real quick. Apparently, I was wrong. Now why were you barging into your brother's room?"

"I was dropping off a VCR." Daria was still quite flustered over the whole thing. Tom had been completely naked when she opened the door, and thus, she saw everything. She might have teased Tom about it if it wasn't so shocking.

But there would be time for that later.

"Are you...uhhh...heading out?" Daria swallowed and started to feel nervous.

"I will be. I was going to wait for Finn to get back, although now I'm just thinking about ducking out."

"What'll he care? You're dressed now, he'd never know."

"That's not the point, and by the way, thanks for staring." Tom remarked.

"What?"

"Well, you weren't exactly looking at my face once you noticed what happened."

"I was just surprised." Daria protested. "It wasn't my choice to get a face full of..."

"You could have turned around."

"Look, let's just drop this." Daria delivered. "You'll just head back to that dinner your family was throwing, and I'll head to dinner with my family and try to think of something more pleasant. Like starving cripped orphans."

"Wow, you really are a lot of fun at parties." Tom tried to return to teasing her. Daria appreciated it: She knew he was trying to make her forget the whole sordid affair. But, unfortunately for her, she was trying not to think about it herself, which meant all she could do was think about it more.

"I'm gonna..." Tom grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

"I'll see you, Daria. Tell Finn sorry I couldn't stick around." He called before the door shut.

"Yeah..." Daria said, even though she knew Tom couldn't hear her. "It was..." Daria was nearly paralyzed for a few minutes. When she had opened the door, Tom was standing far enough away that she saw his whole body. And she meant his whole body.

"_Great, as if things couldn't get more awkward between the two of you." _Daria criticized herself, even though she knew she wouldn't have reacted any differently. Tom was a lot different than most other men Daria knew, and it was pretty fascinating. She wasn't very polite to him when she first met him, and Tom was actually a pretty good guy about it. He reached out his hand, just to make things less awkward for Jane. And when Daria considered that, that her hatred of Tom made things weird for Jane, she backed off. That was the last thing she wanted to do.

"_Okay, so Tom's pretty nice." _Daria put the VCR on Finn's bed. She'd let him set the damn thing up.

"_You get along, he's a friendly guy, there's nothing wrong with that. And he's Jane's boyfriend. Sure, Jane's been acting weird about him paranoid as all hell, but both Jane and Tom are friends. Only friends. It was just an accident when you walked in here and saw Tom in all his glory. So, drop the thought. Think about something else? Why can't you stop thinking about it?" _

Daria wasn't going to stick around in Finn's room to get chewed out by him for coming in without his permission, so Daria headed back to her room. She was thankful that her mother had already scooped up Jane and the room was empty: Daria needed to splash water on her face.

Once she felt her heart beating again, Daria decided to head down to the restaurant. She never talked much at dinner anyway, but she'd make sure that no one would steer the conversation to her. She'd stomach Finn's asinine football talk if it meant all eyes could be on him.

* * *

Dinner with the Morgendorffer family often involved magazines, Jane remembered from the last time she spent an extended period of time at the Morgendorffer house. However, when the entire family assembled in the restaurant, Jane saw nothing of the sort, and wondered if free food wasn't going to be worth the terrifying thought of Helen's bonding attempts. It seemed that was the purpose of magazines and newspapers: to deflect the mother.

Finn arrived last at the table, and took a seat next to his father and Jane. Once the family placed their orders, Jake immediately started talking about some plans he was thinking of for the hotel's marketing campaign. Jane didn't understand any of it, but this hotel did not market to people like her; it went for people like Jake. Perhaps it would make sense.

Helen, just as Jane expected, attempted to talk to the rest of the family. Or rather, she devoted her attention onto Finn. Jane had been at the Morgendorffer house many a time, and this was the first time she had ever seen Helen take such an interest in Finn. That must have been the underlying cause at that retreat. Finn, however, wasn't having any of it.

"So, Finn, have you made any plans for the summer break?" Helen asked pleasantly.

"No." Finn replied tersely. Jane knew that was a lie: Finn would always line something up like that. Helen liked to have her children do some sort of summer activity. Daria had already informed Jane of horror stories about some of the things she had to do. Like summer camp.

"How are your friends in school?" Helen eagerly asked.

"Got lots of friends." Finn sighed, not answering Helen's question. Jane saw Helen's pleasant smile diminish with each of his brusque answers. And the fact that he didn't look at his mother wasn't making her feel better. Eventually, the food came. Jane had ordered appetizers, an entree, and dessert.

"Stocking up for the long haul." Jane smiled.

"I don't think it works like that." Finn regarded Jane with more pleasantness than he showed his mother throughout the entire dinner.

"You'd be surprised. People can live for three weeks without food, and the more you store up..." Jane had no idea whether or not that was true or false. It made no difference to her.

"Well, that was a lovely meal." Helen remarked, even though Jane knew that was a lie. And everyone else there probably knew it too.

"Dad, how late you gonna be working?" Finn asked politely.

"I don't know son. You ride those genius waves when they...uhhh...what was that word the surfer used." Jake started to rack his brain, and Jane heard the sound of gears turning.

"Daria, you dropped the VCR off, right?" Helen asked.

"Yes." Daria answered politely, but quickly. Jane might have been suspicious of that, but dismissed it, for there was nothing to be suspicious of.

"Good, I only took one video we me last Friday, but it's a big one." Finn remarked.

"You're going to be reviewing the tape tonight?" Helen asked.

"I did my homework, don't worry." Finn returned to his terse attitude. "And yeah. I'll get a new video from him on Monday. No need to worry about it." Finn did not stick around once th meal had finished, and darted out of the dining room one he wiped his mouth with his napkin. Helen sighed just a little, but Jane heard it. Daria said nothing, and Jake wasn't even paying attention. He was scribbling something on a napkin, possibly something he had just thought of for this marketing campaign.

"So, Jane, what do you wanna do now?" Daria asked. The two of them waited a little longer, and then walked out of the dining room together.

"What are your plans? I might just head back. I'm worried Wind or two of Summer's little monsters might have shown up at the house."

"Isn't Trent there?"

"That's why I'm checking." Jane remarked. "It's a protection gig?"

"For him, or one of them?"

"You pick." Jane answered.

"Okay." Daria noted. "I'm actually going to borrow the car and head to the library. I need to take a book back anyway."

"See ya." Jane remarked. She waited until Daria had gone back into the restaurant to talk to her mother. Then, she quickly went up the elevator. There was no need to head back home now. Jane didn't like the idea of telling a lie, but nothing else would serve at the moment. She pushed the button to head up to the fifth floor, strode down the hallway towards Daria's room, but instead, she knocked on door 507. There was some rustling, and then Finn opened the door. He had changed into a pair of workout shorts and a T-shirt, so it looked like he was about to hit the gym. Did he always work out after he ate?

"Jane!" Finn seemed surprised to see her.

"Surprised?" She might as well have asked.

"Pleasantly." Finn covered. "If my mom or Daria finds out you're here alone at my room, there's gonna kill me."

"I can be discrete. Can I come in? I wanted to talk to you."

* * *

Finn invited Jane into the room.

"Dare to cross into the dark side?" Finn replied with a slight chuckle. Jane wondered how he could be so cheerful when he was so blunt with his mother. Only about his mother did he ever get so blunt.

"Yeah. Hey, can I talk to you for a bit?"

"Of course. I've got the time." Finn sat on his bed.

"Hey, listen, can I ask you something. About Tom?" Jane asked. She knew she was stalling in asking him what she really wanted, but she was still a little scared to ask him such a question.

"Tom?" Finn puzzled.

"Yeah, he hangs over a lot at your place, right?"

"Sure. Sometimes he helps me with O'Neill's crappy-ass literature assignments, or with Barch. You know she's itching to fail me. The thought of it keeps her warm at night."

"And that's all that happens? You two do schoolwork?"

"No. We bull around, play cards, that sort of...Jane, are you asking if I'm stealing..."

"No!" Jane interrupted. "It's just...well...Tom and I...things are weird. And I'm...I'm kinda wondering if he and Daria...well..."

"Daria! With Tom!" Finn started to laugh uncontrollably.

"It's not funny!" Jane protested.

"Yes, actually, it kinda is. Seriously, with Daria? Tom's got way more class than that. And no one in their right mind would ever think of doing anything with Daria."

"What about Upchuck?"

"I did say right mind. I could wear a dress and a wig and he'd try to pick me up."

"I'd pay to see that." Jane teased.

"Only if it was a very pretty dress." Finn chuckled. "But no. When Tom comes over, he and Daria might say two words to each other. And, to my knowledge, Tom's never come over to see her. I know the two went and got pizza a few times, but seriously, nothing's going on. Trust me."

"If...you say so. I guess...well...I don't know."

"Should I talk to Tom?" Finn asked with a genuine concern.

"No." Jane answered after considering it. The last thing she wanted was for Tom to think Jane had her doubts. Distant though he might have been, Jane still liked Tom. They did have fun together. It just seemed to be less and less fun each time.

"Okay, so crisis averted." Finn smiled. "I don't see anything between Daria and Tom."

"Thanks." Jane smiled. There was silence between the two of them.

"That's all you wanted? To talk about Tom?" Finn's eyebrow cocked. That was odd, Jane acknowledged. But in truth, Tom was not what she wanted to talk about.

"No. I...I wanted to ask you about you."

"Me?" Finn puzzled.

"Finn, I wasn't born yesterday." Jane remarked. "You've been acting weird lately, and I think I know why? It's about your mom, isn't it?" Finn huffed at Jane's response.

"You too?" Finn asked.

"Huh?"

"Tom asked me this earlier today."

"Well, I've never known Tom to be insensible. If he says there's a problem..."

"Jane, you thought Tom and Daria were hooking up behind your back." Finn pointed out.

"Don't change the subject."

"What's there to talk about? You know my mom and me don't get along."

"Finn, I never thought of your mother as a jerk or anything." Jane remarked. "Maybe a little work-obsessed..."

"Work isn't the only thing she obsesses over." Finn commented off-handedly.

"So, what's the problem?"

"She doesn't like me. That simple."

"Finn, don't you think you're being a little..." Jane started.

"No, I'm not overreacting. All my mom cares about is her job. Dad cares, he shows up for things without me asking. Even this whole retreat thing. All Mom cared about was everyone smiling like little dolls so she could pretend like she was Supermom and Superwife, and still a great partner. She never cared about the real problems we all have." Finn started to get angry.

"Problems?"

"Oh, come on, like you haven't noticed. My mom has the hugest issues with everything I do. Do better at school, Finn. Football is stupid. Why don't you do something constructive with your time? God, she just wants everything to reflect on her wonderful mothering skills. Some mother."

"You know, Finn, I get the sense that your mom does feel badly about all this." Jane stated.

"She doesn't. If she..." Finn swallowed, pausing his sentence. "If she didn't want to do that, she wouldn't have. It was bad enough that every night I was scared to go to sleep, worrying that Dad would leave again and I'd never see him again. But Mom hated me. Mom thought I was a failure. I did my best to make Dad happy and Mom..." Finn hugged his knees to his chest. His eyes started to mist. Jane wondered if this was really out of her league. Did Finn even know she was here now?

"Is that why you do all the things you do?" Jane asked.

"Huh?" Finn was shocked for a moment.

"The football, the boxing, the social butterfly thing. Because you think it makes your dad happy?"

"No." Finn remarked. "Well, a little. I mean, there's things that make my dad happy I don't like. Like golf. I don't do golf anymore. But I was good at these things and they made me happy. It made Dad happy to. I couldn't see the problem."

"Finn, why don't you do that with your mom?"

"What?" Finn was confused.

"I mean, you devoted all your effort to keep your dad from leaving, you never thought to do those things with your mom?"

"But that's what I was doing!" Finn shouted. "I wanted everyone to stay together, so I tried to be a good boy! But Mom kept yelling, she kept lecturing me. And then she'd come and rescue Daria whenever she had a problem. Not me. I just stopped caring. I wasn't Daria; I could never make her happy."

"Finn, I always got the sense that when you blew her off on mother-son bonding day to hang out with me, she was upset."

"Of course. She can't show off being perfect Supermom if I'm not in public dancing for her." Finn commented sarcastically.

"Finn, I'm only going to say this once, and you can take from it whatever you want. But you should really think about giving your mom a chance. You're not the only one hurting from this. "

"I'm not hurt." Finn returned.

"Bull." Jane replied. "Have you even looked at yourself since this whole retreat thing happened. I went to your last game, and it was pathetic."

"Hey, we don't always win." Finn shrugged.

"This isn't about winning, dammit." Jane started to get forceful. "This was about you. You couldn't concentrate or throw right. And you haven't been sleeping well."

"Jane, I sleep just..."

"Finn, if there is one thing I do know, it's sleep. And you have not been. This is hurting you, even if you don't want to admit it. I care about you, Finn, I really do. And I don't like that this is eating away at you. So, and I know you might hate me for this, but you should really think about trying to make a real effort."

"Effort?" Finn scoffed. "All Mom ever..."

"An effort on your end. Don't smack her away like you do. Cause all I see is some bitter kid running away with his fingers in his ears. And that's not you. I'd never be friends with someone like that. Now I'm going to go. Night." Jane stood up and walked out the door. She didn't look back. Finn stared at the door.

"_And now you too, Jane." _Finn thought. Both Tom and Jane were not meddlers by nature. The former knew his boundaries, the latter was lazy as all hell. Not bad traits. And now both of the non-meddlers were giving him advice.

"_They weren't there." _Finn thought to himself. "_They weren't there were Mom crusaded in to rescue Daria from the horrible boss who told her Daria wouldn't smile at customers and would rather give them free food than do so. They didn't hear all the belittling, the anger. They never saw any of that." _

But Finn's righteous rage quelled a little. Both Tom and Jane's opinions were ones he listened to, and that didn't happen often. Tom was brilliant, Jane was very decisive, and the few moments she acted to do something was done with purpose. Both of their purposes now being to tell Finn to give his mother a chance.

"_A chance. Really." _Finn was still incredulous. Finn knew where he stood with his mother: last place. He was deadset to give her the same level of courtesy.

* * *

After his workout, Finn went back to his room. After hooking the VCR up. Finn grabbed a notebook and started the video of the game Coach Gibson had taped. As Finn watched it, he rewound, fast forwarded, and paused many key points, jotting down strategy notes. It was taking quite a bit of time, and after an hour passed, there was a knock at the door.

"Dad?" Finn called. His father may have been finished now. There would be time for this later. Finn opened the door, and his heart sank in his chest when his mother was the knocker.

"Yes?" Finn asked.

"Good evening, Finn." Helen remarked.

"What is it?" Finn asked bluntly. He was past the point of friendly greetings.

"I just thought I'd come to check on you."

"I'm well." Finn noted. "I was watching the video."

"Finn, might I watch with you?" Helen asked.

"It's football, Mom. You wouldn't be interested." Finn shrugged.

"All the same." Helen pushed her way into the room.

"Fine, whatever." Finn could ignore his mother and focus on his task. And that's exactly what he did.

"Oh, you play right after a touchdown?" Helen asked.

"It's called a two-point conversion." Finn replied without looking at her.

"I thought touchdowns were seven points."

"No, that's the extra point kick. You can either go for the kick for one or a play for two."

"Do you get the whole four tries?"

"Downs, Mom. They're called downs. And no. If they did, everyone would do conversions." Finn tried to ignore her as he fast-forwarded the tape.

"That man that received the ball. That's not you." Helen commented again.

"No, that's Robert, he's the running back."

"I thought the quarterback always receives the ball."

"No, he doesn't have to. In fact the wildcat offense...Mom, what are you doing?" Finn posed.

"Asking you a question." Helen answered.

"Why? You don't care about this stuff."

"But I do care about you, and this is who you are." Helen corrected.

"Sure," Finn scoffed.

"Finn, I do care. I truly do. I never..."

"Mom, just...just drop it." Finn interrupted. His voice did not sound annoyed. Instead, it sounded like a plea.

"Drop it?"

"There's nothing I can do to make you happy, short of some magic potion that will change me into Daria. Or me getting in some horrible accident." Finn returned to his tape. Helen was cautious for a moment, she didn't know how to proceed. Her initial thought was to protest that Finn being hurt or killed would be the most horrific thing she could ever think of, but she bit her tongue. She would argue, Finn would counter, and he'd hate her. He'd seen enough of her argumentative side.

"Finn, you made me happy every time I saw you wake up in the morning. I was happy every time I saw you sleeping warm in your bed. I was happy every time you smiled, every time you laughed, and every time you were safe and sound." Helen spoke from her heart, and she saw Finn's face mellow out a bit.

Part of Helen thought she should quit while she was ahead. Another part told her to keep going and don't brake for anything. But her common sense prevailed, and she did not move, and allowed Finn to process this for a moment.

"Finn, I know you've felt your whole life that you've struggled just to remain afloat. I know you've felt like you had to do everything yourself, and that I never cared. I did care, Finn. You never failed me, Finn. I just failed you. I committed the worst sin a mother could commit, and made you feel unwanted. I never encouraged you like I should have." Helen thought, and then she realized something else, another horrible sin she committed, and that was repeating the sins of her mother. Helen's mother never encouraged her either, and so much of her, even now, resented her mother, as well as Rita, who was the object of such praise.

"I want to do better, Finn. I can never have the relationship you have with your father; I realize that now. But all I want is to use what time I have left and do right by you. But if you don't think I can, or you think this is just one of my games of pride, just tell me to go. At least once, I want to do what makes you happy." Finn started to shiver, and Helen bet it wasn't because he cranked up the air conditioning. He didn't order her to leave.

Helen took a chance.

"So, what's this wildcat...thing?" She referred to the tape.

"It's like it looks like. The running back receives the snap." Finn answered. Helen continued to ask stupid questions, which still didn't make much sense to her. But Finn answered them, and while he neither smiled nor laughed, his tone turned into his normal light-hearted tone. Helen excused herself after almost an hour. Finn shut the TV off soon after, dressed for bed, and went to lay down.

"_Give her a chance?" _Finn thought about the words of his two close friends. Perhaps he'd need to consider them more fully after a good night's sleep.

And Finn fell asleep soon after without any difficulty at all.


	30. Parental Discretion Advised

"_I suppose the only downside to vacation time is boredom." _Helen thought as she lie by the pool of _Le Grande Hotel. _It had already been a week since the painting started at the house, and part of Helen was anxious to get back to work.

"_But this has it's advantages too." _Helen thought. This time away from work gave her the focus she needed to concentrate on what was important now. Namely, spending time with Finn. While Helen did not fall into the same trap and neglect Daria, she really wanted to spend this time re-establishing a connection, bonding with her son. Helen decided not to lament Finn's past any longer. She could only move forward.

Finn himself was resisting quite a bit, not that Helen didn't expect or understand it. But when it came down to it, Finn and Helen did not have much in common. Helen did make an effort to understand all the sports he played, but football still eluded her. Boxing eluded her. All of those things just confused her immensely. And it annoyed Finn to have to explain it. That was just hindering things.

Helen glanced over towards Jake, who was snoring on his own chaise.

"_All that time doing nothing must really be tiring." _Helen teased him silently. He understood it; he was into those things as much as Finn was. But Helen had tried that before: to ask Jake about it. Finn's explanation was better than his, and Finn's still didn't make sense.

Helen reached into her pool bag beside her to get out the sunscreen. Jake's chest was starting to look a little red.

"_And whenever you need something, it always seems to fall to the bottom." _Helen had to sit up straight to fish for it, knocking over the bag, knocking out a few things.

"Jake." She elbowed her husband awake and instructed him to put more sunscreen on. Once he was doing so, she turned over to the bag to put the fallen items back inside. As she did so, she noticed a stray piece of paper.

"_What is..." _Helen wondered as she started to read it. It was a calendar, printed directly from a website.

"_Oh, it's a calendar of events at the school. I think I had Marianne print this out before I went on vacation." _Helen thought to herself as she read it. She had it printed this out to see when Finn was playing football so she could be prepared for someone to pick him up and take him home. He couldn't walk to the hotel.

Today was Friday, so Finn was playing today. Jake had already made the arrangements to pick him up. Helen did want to be the one to do it, but Jake insisted, and Helen relented. It wouldn't do to hog Finn's time constantly. He'd just get mad.

"_Hmmm..." _Helen continued to read the schedule.

"_Mother-child fashion show?" _Helen read through the scheduled events that were happening the next week.

"_They did that last year." _Helen remembered. They had a mother-daughter fashion show last year, raising money for women with osteoporosis. Helen didn't participate then: Aside from the fact that parading ones-self in a dress was stupid, Daria would have never done it. No chance in hell.

"_It says mother-child when it used to be mother-daughter. Did they change that?" _Helen thought. Finn had never mentioned anything about it. But perhaps he didn't know, or more likely, didn't bring it up.

Helen picked up her cellular in her pool bag and called Marianne.

"Helen?" Marianne was a little confused that she would be calling on vacation.

"Marianne, I'm not near a computer right now. Could you possibly look up something for me, please?"

"Umm...okay. What is it?"

"Go to Lawndale High's website, and check their calendar of events." Helen instructed. She paused for a moment to let Marianne catch up.

"There's a fashion show of some kind next Thursday." Helen instructed. "Could you pull up details for me?"

"Okay, let's see." Marianne trailed off for a second. "Second annual Lawndale High mother and child Fashion Show to raise money for women with osteoporosis. It says that it used to be a mother-daughter fashion show, but they changed it to include the male students."

"Probably to bring in more mothers to model. I mean, seriously, what self-respecting mother wants to wear some ridiculous dress and parade herself like a hunk of meat on a runway."

"Helen? Are you planning on suing them?" Marianne asked.

"What? Oh, no." Helen quickly countered.

"You're planning on asking Finn?" Marianne read her mind.

"Well, I suppose I could test his interest. You know, Finn was approached by a modeling agency in the fall of last year."

"I know, he told me about it." Marianne responded. "But didn't Finn tell them no?"

"Finn was...well...his objection wasn't to doing runway work." Helen stumbled, but manage to correct her secretary. Helen did remember about that time the Amazon Modeling Agency, and that pretentious director, Ramonica, came to town. Finn was uncomfortable being touched when he practiced doing poses with some of his female friends, and ultimately decided to reject a contract with them.

But Finn did do very well at modeling. Helen only saw what they were doing briefly, and never saw him strut down a catwalk. But he did well enough for them to extend the position to him.

Football may have been foreign to her, but fashion was not. She didn't let it control her, but she did know how to put herself together no matter the occasion: Lawyers needed to look sharp.

"_And every little girl wants to walk down a runway at least once. No matter how much the 70's changed us, I think we all have some desires like that. Who knows what the men still think?" _

Finn was still at his game, and wouldn't be back until after dinner. Helen would have to time and do this right. If she could get him to agree to the show, and they did it well, that would be bonding. A book she read once claimed that males bonded through shared activities, while Helen tried to know her son through understanding his feelings. Perhaps a change of tactics might give Helen a better angle on things.

* * *

Finn arrived back far too late to eat in the dining room, so his mother offered to get a pizza.

"_Heh, Jane." _Finn thought of his friend, and what she had told him when he had arrived here. Both her and Tom had encouraged him to work things out with his mother, but Jane especially, seemed to push the idea.

Finn didn't understand why: Jane and her mother went months on end without seeing each other. Finn had seen Tom and his mother, Kay, interact with each other, and their relationship was good, so Finn supposed. She fussed over him, but it was playful, more of a concern he was wearing his scuffed sneakers he always wore instead of his nice black shoes, or that he didn't wash his hair that day. She wasn't considering it sacrilegious, but Finn had never seen them getting ready for those formal affairs Kay always planned.

But Jane had known Finn longer than Tom, and, more to the point, had seen more of his mother than Tom did. Finn still thought, for the most part, that Jane spent far too long in the sun, or perhaps she didn't know just what it was like to be seen as the other child. Amanda Lane might have barely paid attention to Jane, but she did that with all of her children.

There was a knock on the door, and the person on the other side was his mother, pizza in hand.

"Thanks." Finn remarked, taking it from her to put on the desk. Helen did not excuse herself.

"Did you need something" Finn asked.

"How was the game?" Helen posed. Her voice was pleasant, but Finn knew she did not attend. Football bored her. Everything about him bored her.

"We won. Did better than two weeks ago. That game sucked." Finn chuckled, and wondered what his mother's plan was.

"Finn, last year, your school did an event, a charity fashion show?" Helen asked. Finn shut his eyes and tried to remember it.

"Oh yeah, I remember that. They held it earlier in the year, though. It was before Jane's birthday." Finn answered. Jane's birthday was last month in March, while May was just starting now. Finn's own birthday would be in two weeks.

"You remember it?"

"Yeah. Well, it's not like I was participating or anything." Finn answered. "But Stacy and I made it a business, since Sandi and Tiffany were in the show and Stacy wasn't. We were a consultation service. Or rather, I was the consultation service. I tried to get Stacy to chime in, but she kept beating herself up." Finn clarified, and Helen remembered that meek friend of his, the one he tried to get away from Sandi Griffin. Finn had accomplished that task days before his birthday, so she still would have been that crybaby girl.. And Finn was still using his masterful talents in speechcraft and his looks to get those types of girls to buy him sports equipment, clothes, whatever he could think of. He probably made a mint using those talents with the mothers.

"_Figures. You put two mothers together, they'll compete about their children. It was a subtle war, but always present. But a bunch of mothers on a catwalk where looks are everything? You certainly answer when opportunity comes around, don't you, Finn. And you changed that about yourself, and didn't do such things for your greed anymore. Good boy." _

"Anyway, Finn, the reason I'm asking is that they changed it this year."

"Yeah, I know, it's next week."

"I mean that they changed it to the mother-child fashion show. They want the boys to participate too."

"I can see why Ms. Li would do that. More people doing it, more money, the more Ms. Li can syphon out for 'security purposes', whatever that means. But would many of them actually do it? My buddies sure won't."

"What I mean, Finn, is that I'm asking if we should do it ourselves." Helen delivered. Finn's eyes went wide.

"Are you serious?" Finn remarked. "I won't be able to do my business ventures. They'll think I'm upstaging the competition."

"Finn, it's not a contest." Helen remarked.

"Officially, no. But, come on, you know better, don't you?" Finn noted. Helen knew it was true.

"Finn, I'm on vacation this week, and it might be a good activity we can do together. You did well enough with Amazon to know the ropes, and I've been known to be a fast learner."

"Mom. I..."

"There isn't going to be any touching or anything. It's just runway." Helen destroyed Finn's avenue of escape. Perhaps it was a little heavy-handed, but there would be no fleeing from him, unless he had a really good reason. And he didn't have a game that night.

"Well, why don't I think about it." Finn stated. "But I thought you hated this crap."

"It's not degrading if it's done voluntarily. And it's all evening wear, is it not?"

"Yeah."

"So it's not like it's going to be vulgar. But more importantly, Finn, I want to do this because we'd be doing it together. You know, bonding. Well, go ahead and eat your pizza before it gets cold." Helen excused herself.

* * *

Finn sat down at the desk to eat his pizza straight from the box.

"_A fashion show, seriously?" _Finn thought. It was true that, in a mother-child fashion show, Finn would be the best child for the job. Without question. Daria would positively suck at it, if she didn't bomb it on purpose.

Finn wanted to just write it off. His mother was not a model, and Finn was only able to impress Amazon partly because he watched Fashion Week constantly, and, in truth, Amazon was looking for raw talent, not an existing model.

Then again, this was an amateur show as well. And, the touching aside, Finn did like the idea of modeling. The touching was just that bad.

But with his mother? Jane and Tom said to bond, and Finn knew bonding meant to do things together. He did it with his dad all the time. But with Mom?

But Tom did encourage him to work at it. And Jane did say not doing it was hurting him. Finn's football games had been awful since the retreat, and only now, after he made the effort to do at least something with his Mom, did he sleep better, and it stopped distracting him on the field, which only got him sacked.

"_Maybe I need to think on this some more." _

_

* * *

_

The next day, Finn decided he was going to head to Lawndale and visit Jane. Jane and Tom were going to be heading out, and Finn decided that he wanted to accompany them. In truth, he didn't plan on staying long at Jane's. He just wanted her advice on the whole sordid matter. While Jane could care less about a fashion show, she was right about his sleeping: He performed better after he did what he did with his mother. And, although Finn wouldn't admit it, he did feel a little better. In the interests of succeeding at the game, he wanted to ask her.

Tom did not object when Finn called and asked to be picked up. Finn decided ultimately not to reveal this to Tom just yet. Jane was the person who had been pressing it. Not to Finn's surprise, Tom did not even talk about the issue. The ride to Jane's was filled with the normal pleasantries; Tom asked Finn what he wanted for his birthday, Finn learned Tom's birthday was in October, so he didn't miss his. There was no discussion of his mother at all.

"Hey, you guys!" Jane smiled as the two came in. "I'm glad you guys are here. I think Trent is about to wake up."

"Even he has to wake up to eat." Tom commented.

"One of these days, I'm going to have to test that theory." Jane noted. "So, what's new with you guys."

"Well, we're about to see _Screecher II, _aren't we?" Finn asked. "How did you convince Tom to go along with that one?"

"He lost a bet." Jane noted quickly.

"I chose to lose." Tom corrected.

"So he says." Jane remarked. The three bulled around for a moment before they headed off to the movie theatre.

* * *

"Alright, so now we've wasted one hundred and six minutes of our lives watching blood-bursting eyeballs." Tom yawned once the movie was done.

"And we would have had so much of an enjoyable time watching _La Dolce Vita _instead." Finn rolled his eyes sarcastically. While Finn and Tom shared a number of interests, they didn't share quite a bit. Tom was a brainiac, and he watched those supposedly insightful movies about farmers in some poor European nation or where ever.

"_That's for books. Movies are mindless fun." _Finn affirmed a mantra to himself. The group headed for pizza.

"Well, I should probably get back before Mom releases the hounds." Finn glanced at Jane very slightly.

"I'll take you back." Jane offered. "I don't wanna head back home just yet. Who knows what unholy terrors Trent has been doing."

"I'm sure he's sensible enough to do it in his room."

"I strongly doubt Trent's ever brought anyone into that mess." Jane remarked. "Anyway, I wanted to chat with Daria a bit. I'll see you later, handsome." Jane kissed Tom.

"Well, okay." Tom seemed a bit dejected, but ultimately accepted Jane's wishes. "I need to head back home to order a gift anyway."

"Mine?" Finn asked. Tom chuckled a bit, but stood up and left the pizza parlor.

* * *

"So, Finn." Jane asked once Tom had dropped the two of them off at Casa Lane. "What is it you've been beating around the bush all day about?"

"I feel kinda bad blowing Tom off like that." Finn remarked.

"Oh, relax. He was bored anyway. I'll be spending the day with him tomorrow. What's up?"

"Anyway, there's a charity fashion show next week."

"I think I heard about that, although I was dozing off. Didn't you do like image consulting?"

"That's not the point. Anyway, Mom found out about it and wants to do it with me." Finn revealed. Jane coughed to cover up her surprise.

"Of all the things you could have said, that was not it." Jane remarked. "So what are you going to do?"

"I have no idea, that's why I asked." Finn answered. "I mean, I know how to do it and all, but it's Mom and me. On a stage, in front of everyone."

"So? Everyone knows she's your mom."

"That's not what I meant. I mean doing things with Mom. The only thing Mom and I did together are those stupid bonding days. You remember those."

"I remember your callsign to bail you out of those. It was 'I'm trapped in my tower.'"

"Hey, you're the one who said I had a hero complex. I liked it when you or Tom rescued me from that."

"Anyway, I don't see what the problem is." Jane remarked. "Go ahead and do it."

"Huh?"

"Finn, you never went on your mother's bonding day things why?"

"Cause they were always on her terms." Finn answered quickly.

"Isn't this problem solved? It's neutral ground. Ms. Li's set everything."

"I guess. But still, it's Mom."

"Finn, you can't keep avoiding you Mom because it's your Mom. There's no exchanges or refunds, you might as well give it a shot. And hey, this is something you're good at, right?'

"Well, Amazon liked me, at least."

"So this is like, a godsend. Here's something your mother offers to do that you're great at. Something she gets to see you do. I'm willing to bet you're better at all this stuff than she is. Power dynamic has totally changed."

"I...I don't follow."

"You get to show her what you're good at. You're in your element, not in your mom's. I'm not saying it's going to happen, but maybe that'll stop your Mom from harping on you all the time like she does. I mean, she complains all the time about you playing football, but she never actually said you're bad at it, didn't she?"

"Well, that would be a lie." Finn returned. "And I think I understand now. It's not like she can complain about spending time on appearance or anything because that's the Fashion Show. And Sandi and her mom will probably be doing it too."

"That's..." Jane asked with a raised voice.

"Sandi's mom and my mom compete at everything. But Mom gets so frustrated easily. Linda's a subtle person. Don't like her or Sandi."

"Then give that a shot." Jane encouraged. "Be the best, or however it works. Let your mom see that. She'll come around."

"Thanks. You know, things are so much easier when I talk to you."

"I pay attention to things sometimes." Jane remarked. "Come on, I'll take you back to the hotel."

* * *

The ride to the hotel was very quiet. Jane seemed very satisfied with herself as she pulled into the parking lot.

"I'm gonna go find Daria." Jane noted once she and Finn separated upon reaching the fifth floor.

"Okay." Finn's heart started to accelerate faster as he reached his mother's room. This was actually quite unnerving. To ask his mother to do something like this was weird. But this was her idea, and listening to Jane usually ended up being right about things like this. And Finn knew if he asked Tom about this, Tom would have much the same advice for him.

He knocked on the door. His mother answered the door.

"Come in, Finn!" His mother asked pleasantly. "Your father is off writing jingles with the owner of the hotel. A catchy tune might be helpful, but that man's...anyway, what is it?"

"Umm...about that whole fashion show thing? I...uhhh...I'll do it. If you still want to."

"Well, sure thing, honey." His mother remarked. "How about on Monday we had to Cashman's to get the right ensemble."

"What about tomorrow?"

"We'll need that time to practice, won't we? I have never done runway walking, but since I'm going to do it, why not do it right?"

"Well, a man's walk and a woman's are different." Finn answered, recalling Sandi's confident strut. If there was one thing that girl did have, it was confidence.

"But...I'll be happy to show you how to do it."

* * *

Being on vacation meant not having a schedule, so it was easy for Helen to clear her Sunday schedule. Jake would be busy with the hotel working on some more marketing anyway, and Daria, presumably, would be spending the day with Jane. While an outfit would have to be selected on Monday, today would be spent figuring out the best look for this show.

"No coffee." Finn instructed as the two sat at breakfast.

"Finn, it's..."

"Coffee means improper sleeping, and it makes those dark circles." Finn ordered. "That is one of the worst things to touch up." Helen never expected her son to be so...business.

"_Well, at least he's taking it seriously and knows how to make an effort." _Helen took the victory.

"I thought of a few looks last night. We're supposed to match, which actually isn't very hard for me since I can wear anything. Of course we can't wear the same thing, but I'm thinking black, of course. Don't you have a little black dress?"

"Of course I do."

"Still, I'll need to look at it. Need to get it cleaned too."

"Finn, you're taking this very seriously." Helen remarked.

"Aren't you? I mean, we're supposed to do this right, aren't we?"

"Finn, it's all right to apply yourself at your tasks, but we don't need to go overboard."

"You want Linda Griffin to upstage us?" Finn posed. Helen grumbled a little under her breath. Linda always thought she could look good in anything she wore. At the Annual Lawndale Businesswomen's Christmas Gala, she had the nerve to tell Helen she had wrinkles.

"Finn, we're going to be picking new clothes anyway, aren't we?"

"I guess." Finn shrugged. "You might need them. Anyway, you need to schedule a spa session. Maybe some tanning. Seriously, Mom, you've been out by the pool for a week now and you're all white. You have ghost DNA or something?"

"You're not going to do it too?"

"What do I need it for? I don't get manicures, and I don't need to sit under a steam dryer. Come on, Mom, I thought you did all the planning stuff." Finn shrugged.

* * *

After breakfast, the two went back upstairs. Jake had already awoken and was not in the room, probably working. That man did keep some weird hours sometimes.

"All right, now we're going to need to know how to walk." Finn instructed. "Now, mine's going to be a lot different from yours. But the important thing to remember is straight ahead. You don't look at anyone. Then you wait at the end, work the outfit a little, then you turn around. That's it. It's that simple. I mean, that's how I did it for Amazon."

Helen attempted to follow her son's instructions.

"This feels silly." Helen remarked.

"Keep working!" Finn remarked. He rather enjoyed the idea of bossing his mother around. He tried to suppress his smile as best he could.

His mother was learning fast, but until he knew what she would be wearing, Finn decided to work on just the walk. The next day, Helen drove by the school to pick up Finn immediately after. They went straight to Cashman's.

Finn leafed through dress after dress, seemingly not liking any of them.

"Finn, we don't need to..."

"Try this." Finn handed her an outfit. Helen looked like she was about to say something, but didn't as she went into the changing room. She took a long time in the changing room. Certainly longer than the Fashion Club.

"_Mom, why exactly did you want to do this?" _Finn wondered to himself as he leaned against the wall waiting. The irony that this was what he normally did on his despised mother-son bonding days was not lost on him.

* * *

Finn knew he was only doing this because of what Jane had told him too. It was still making his stomach churn a bit.

"Alright. I'm ready." Helen stepped out of the dressing room. Although her hair, make-up, and jewelry still needed to be selected, the dress itself was a great choice.

"I can totally pick it." Finn chuckled.

"Helen?" A male voice called. Both mother and son turned to the voice's caller, and saw the last person Finn wanted to see, even more than Sandi and Linda Griffin. Eric Schrecter, shopping bag in hand, accompanied the two.

"Eric!" Helen's voice registered genuine surprise. "I thought you were at the office!"

"Need to get Mindy a little something. She's still mad that I slept at the office these past two days. Helen, we're dying without you, partner!" Eric turned to Helen and ignored Finn. Finn had only been to the office a few times, and met Eric only once. He was not eager to pursue the relationship further. Eric was a very strange man, and, while excitable and friendly, always had his own agenda in mind.

"Hey, Helen, we're starting a new case. Think you can cut this vacation of yours short?" Eric asked.

"Eric, I did request this time off." Helen reminded.

"It's a case that's right up your alley. There's a urologist who..." Eric started going into technical details. Finn couldn't be less interested. Helen, though, seemed to take an interest, and started to talk with Eric.

"_I thought we were spending time together." _Finn thought bitterly, and he glared at his mother.

"So, what are you doing here?" Eric asked.

"I'm shopping, Eric. I'm going to be Finn's mother in a fashion show." Helen answered.

"A fashion show?" Eric posed.

"It's a charity event for osteoporosis." Helen clarified.

"Great! The firm could really use that PR!" Eric started cheering before he said goodbye and moved over to the dresses.

"Well, isn't that lovely." Finn commented sourly once the two were alone.

"Finn?"

"Mom, I thought we were doing this? You're the one who wanted to. Is this just, what did he call it, PR for the firm?" Finn seemed annoyed, almost on the verge of rage.

"No, Finn." Helen entered calmly. "That was just Eric."

"You certainly seemed interested in what he said." Finn started to calm down a bit when he realized that, in truth, it wasn't his mother's decision to do such a thing.

"We were just chatting. We know each other." Helen remarked.

"Al...alright." Finn wasn't particularly convinced. His mother was the master of the double motive. But he stayed calm and said nothing as they went to the jewelry store to pick out a golden necklace with an opal pendant for Helen to wear with the outfit.

* * *

The two reached the hotel in time enough to meet Jake for lunch. He seemed very enthusiastic of the idea. Whether or not Jake was just excited about what Finn did, as he was excited about everything he did, or whether he wanted mother and son to spend time together, was something Helen did not know.

"It's too bad you can't do something like this with me, Dad."

"It's okay, son. I come to all your football games! Let your Mom have a shot." Jake encouraged, and Helen was amazed at his suggestion. When Jake said it right, he really hit the sweet spot.

"It's all about confidence." Helen noted. "The audience will look at us and the entire school will see that these are the Morgendorffers. Isn't that right, Finn?" Finn nodded, but said nothing. His mouth was full of food, but it seemed as though Eric was still on his mind. Helen didn't see what the problem was: Eric caught her totally by surprise, and she certainly wasn't about to use this Fashion Show as good PR for the firm. The trophy case was already stacked with more impressive feats anyway. She'd have to talk with him about it later.

* * *

After lunch, Finn went upstairs to work on his walk. He knew what his mother would be wearing, and he needed to decide just what it was she would do at the end of the catwalk, and what he needed to do while he was doing that.

There were also a few last minute things to decide. Jacket buttoned or open. What color shirt underneath. Would black and white have too much contrast? Was there room for such a change?

Finn liked the idea of his mind racing like this. He put together his outfit to practice his walk. He could hammer the points down as he watched himself in the mirror to see what looked better.

Finn started to practice his own walk. He knew how to do it. He still remembered it from that time Amazon wanted him.

"_Heh. I can do this. I can look great. I'm going to raise the most money for that disease thing. The entire school will see me from the runway. And Mom. They'll see Mom. See her walk beside me. They'll know she's my mom."_

Finn nearly lost his balance, but tried to focus. His brow was starting to sweat. Odd, since he had the air cranked up. Taking a deep breath, Finn resumed practicing his own walk. He held his breath as he continued to practice. But the floor seemed to wobble under his feet. That couldn't be possible; there was no earthquake or anything.

"_There's no way...why are my legs shaking? I can't be nervous. No way. I caught Amazon's eye. What the hell am I so nervous about." _

Finn sat down for a moment to calm his nerves. A minute later, he dashed to the bathroom to throw up.

* * *

Finn knew that Jane was coming over to the hotel Tuesday to work on a short project with Daria. He surely expected her to stop by and visit him, particularly since he had called her and told her about doing the fashion show with his mother.

So Finn expected the knock on his door a little before 6. However, it was not Jane on the other side of the door. Instead, it was Stacy.

"Oh!" Finn was surprised to see her. Although he had told her of the fire at the houseand that he'd be at _Le Grand Hotel _for the two weeks, they never made an arrangement for her to visit. After all, it would really be just the two of them, and people would gossip about the fact that Stacy and Finn were alone in a hotel room. And people would find out; they always found out.

"Hi, Finn!" Stacy remarked warmly. Finn invited her in, and the two started to chat for a moment. Finn always liked talking with Stacy. She was always polite, and pleasant, and things never denigrated into an ego trip like it did with the rest of the Fashion Club.

"So, Finn, I understand you're doing the charity show on Thursday?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah." Finn remarked. He hadn't told her, but ultimately, it didn't matter how she found out.

"That's great, Finn." Stacy smiled. "I wish my mom would do things like that."

"Stacy, your mom scares me." Finn remarked. Mrs. Rowe was someone Finn had only met on occasion, but she gave Joey's mom a run for her money in the shouting department.

"Why aren't you excited?" Stacy asked. If there was one thing that Finn couldn't say no to, it was Stacy's innocent questions.

"Well, it's like, the first thing my mom and I have done together. Ever. And I'm almost sixteen."

"Oh." Stacy didn't appear to get it. Finn wasn't about to press the issue. There was another knock on the door, and the door opened immediately following. Finn reasoned it could only be his mother, with a spare key to the room.

If Helen was surprised or angry about Stacy being in the room, she certainly didn't show it.

"Hello." Helen remarked pleasantly.

"Hi, Mrs. Morgendorffer, it's me, Stacy." Stacy introduced pleasantly.

"So nice to see you again." Helen remarked. "Finn, I was about to tell you dinner's in a half-hour."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Finn." Stacy remarked.

"For what? You had no idea." Finn clarified.

"I'm going to head out." Stacy stood up.

"I'm headed down to the lobby anyway, Stacy. Why don't I walk you out?" Helen offered.

"Thanks!" Stacy remarked as both women left. Finn shrugged as he went to get a quick pre-dinner shower.

* * *

Helen knew very little of Stacy, aside from the fact that she was Finn's friend, and she was the one that was being held back by Sandi. Finn had tried, around this time last year, to get her to stand up on her own. It seemed to have worked: Helen often heard Finn talking on the phone with the girl about their dates. Unpopular girls did not serial-date.

"It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Morgendorffer." Stacy was so sweet, Helen worried she'd get diabetes, but smiled back at the girl. Finn put a lot of effort and energy making that girl's life truly for the better.

"Indeed." Helen remarked. "Did Finn tell you about the fashion show in two days?"

"Well someone else told me first, but yeah. I think it's great. Finn's, like, perfect at this."

"Is that so?" Helen remarked.

"Oh yeah! I mean, everything I do now I owe to Finn." Stacy gushed.

"Oh, Stacy, you act like you've fallen in love." Helen couldn't help but blush a little. Teenage love was truly a silly thing, but it was still sweet.

"I mean it, I mean really. Whenever I worry that someone is taking advantage of me, I just hold up my head and stand up for what I believe in. That's what Finn taught me to do. I just wish it didn't take so long for my stupid thick head to realize it." Stacy remarked, and Helen was silent. This wasn't love, it was worship. To Stacy, Finn was an ideal, a perfection to strive for.

"Well, thanks for walking me out!" Stacy smiled as she went out the front doors and into the parking lot. Helen was lost in thought for a moment. Helen saw many of her son's flaws, things she wanted desperately for him to overcome. His superficiality, his disdain of academics, and more. But Stacy, and Jake, and countless others saw him as a god come to life. Was she just too used to criticizing him? Or did the world think nothing more of him?

Both were wrong things, and Helen was determined to correct them.

* * *

After a quick shower, there was another knock at the door. Once he was decent, he opened the door to find both Jane and Tom.

"Hey, guys. I don't have a lot of time before dinner..." Finn remarked.

"We weren't gonna stay long." Tom answered. "Just wanted to hear it from you. You're really doing a charity fashion show for your mom?"

"Well, that's the plan." Finn answered.

"There's that word, plan. What's up?" Tom quickly posed.

"It's nothing. I mean, you know, weird stuff can happen. It's on Thursday after school."

"Damn, wish you had told us earlier." Tom sighed. "Jane and I already bought tickets to a..."

"Tom, we can go to that any time." Jane interrupted. "Why don't we go?"

"Jane! That expo is only this week!" Tom was surprised.

"Hey, don't blow off your plans for me." Finn remarked. "It's okay."

"We'll argue about this later." Jane grabbed her boyfriend by the arm. "See you, Finn." Jane quickly exited the room.

* * *

After dinner, Finn was going to make more time for he and his mother to practice. Helen decided to come to his room, since they wouldn't have to worry about Jake.

"That Stacy seems quite taken with you." Helen noted.

"It's Stacy. We have fun." Finn shrugged. "Keep your head level when you walk. Modeling is business, treat it as one. Don't smile. I really wish you would have watched Fashion Week." Finn tried to show an example of the strut he wanted to use.

"Finn, they'll look at us and think we're the greatest team ever." Helen praised. When she finished talking, Finn toppled over.

"Damn not-level floor." Finn complained.

"Finn, there's nothing wrong with the floor." Helen remarked. "Just stay calm."

"I am calm." Finn dusted himself off and started again on his walk. He tried again, but this time, he stumbled in the middle.

"Finn, deep breaths." Helen tried to calm him.

"I am breathing!" Finn started to get frustrated.

"Finn, your legs are shaking." Helen remarked.

"I'm fine. I'm just antsy. Haven't worked out, get stringy."

"And your face is all white." Helen remarked. "Are you all right?"

"I am fine." Finn brushed her off.

"There's no need to be nervous."

"I'm not nervous!" Finn protested.

"Finn, it's not shameful." Helen soothed. "You did just fine for Amazon."

"Doing it in tandem is not the same."

"But Finn, you're practicing on your own."

"I still have to move like you're next to me. Standing there, in front of all those people. Right beside you." Finn's voice started to slow.

"Isn't it lovely?" Helen asked.

"I think I'm going to hurl."

* * *

Tom waited until he and Jane returned to Casa Lane to argue about what Jane had decided to do regarding their Thursday plans.

While Tom did think that Finn and his mother spending time together would only be beneficial to his friend, such behavior did not require the presence of Jane or Tom. Further, Tom believed their presence would serve the opposite effect.

But Jane did not, and Tom could never get an idea out of Jane's head when she set her mind to it. No matter how much the non-refundable tickets cost.

"_Which I paid for." _Tom was quick to think. He was pretty pissed off once the fight ended, and he drove back home in silence. Once he reached the Sloane manor, he went into his room. Now he had a useless ticket. Tom briefly thought of calling his friends, but decided against it. While Tom liked going out with his groups of friends, he didn't like the idea of picking just one to pick up Jane's ticket with. Further, he didn't want to admit to them that his girlfriend blew him off to watch a charity fashion show.

But then Tom had an idea. Daria would certainly be free, and she and Jane had similar interests. Why not give her a ring and find out. It certainly beat letting the ticket go to waste.

Tom picked up the phone to call. He was a little surprised at himself that his relationship with Daria had grown from her abject hostility to such closeness. It was certainly foreign to her, that was for sure.

"Hey, Daria. It's Tom."

* * *

"Umm...good evening." Daria answered pleasantly.

"How are you?" Tom asked.

"I'm fine." Daria shrugged. Why, exactly, was Tom calling her? He was a nice enough guy, to be sure, but he was Jane's boyfriend and Finn's friend. She wasn't high on his priority list. And, after that embarrassing incident last week, Daria had been trying to avoid him. Every time she thought of Tom, she flashed back to that incident where she walked in on him stark naked. It was inappropriate to think of her best friend's boyfriend naked, at the very least. But it was too shocking to ignore.

"Hey, listen, I was wondering if you wanted to head to an art expo this Thursday."

"Weren't you going there with Jane?" Daria asked. She had heard Tom mention that earlier last week.

"I was, but Jane blew me off to go see Finn at that fashion show he's doing with your mom." Tom answered. Daria's eyes bulged a bit, and she was glad Tom could not see her over the phone. While Daria was certainly aware of this show, as her mother had mentioned it, she had no intention of going. And Jane would hardly be interested in fashion, of all things. What was going on with her best friend.

But she could handle that later. Tom was still on the phone.

"Ummm...well, I guess I could. It'll give me an excuse not to go to the show." Daria mentioned.

"Awesome. I'll pick you up at five?"

"Sounds great." Daria noted. "Later." She hung up the phone for a moment, and flipped on _Sick, Sad World. _Only once she started hearing about "Stealth Supernovas" did she just realize she accepted what could possibly be construed as a date. If anyone saw her and Tom together, it would be just as bad as that time at the parade, where a photographer took a picture of the two of them as a yearbook couple. Thank God it never made it in.

Daria considered cancelling, but she decided not to. Who cared what the school thought? Jane knew better, and that was what mattered.

"_Although, since Jane's going to see Finn at a fashion show, maybe better judgment is not something I should assume she has right now." _

_

* * *

_

The fashion show was held after school on Thursday. Finn saw no point in leaving the school, and just like clockwork, his mother was on time in front of the school, holding two garment bags with the outfits mother and son would be wearing.

"_It figures. The one time she actually shows up to something is the time I'm about ten seconds away from bolting into the woods screaming." _Finn thought.

"Are you ready, Finn?" Helen asked politely.

"Well, we need to change and stuff." Finn answered.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Better? I've been fine all day." Finn lied. In truth, he felt fine until he thought about doing the fashion show itself. It made his stomach turn in knots and he couldn't eat at lunch. He was starving, and Finn found it hard to focus on an empty stomach.

"Well, shall we go?" Helen offered. Finn led the way towards the back of the stage. He dropped his mother off at the women's changing room. There weren't that many boys doing the show, so Finn simply changed his clothes in the bathroom. Once he was done, he looked in the mirror. He did look good, that was for sure. Hair looked good, outfit all organized.

"_Nothing could possibly go wrong!" _Finn thought. "_It's just a fashion show. On stage, where everyone can see my mother. And me, my mother's son." _After that thought, Finn paused only slightly before he went to the toilet and threw up.

Finn rinsed his mouth out before leaving the bathroom. His mother was taking longer to change than he did. Once she stepped out though, Finn was surprised. He had given her ideas on what to do with her hair and makeup, and, while she didn't follow his instructions implicitly, it was clear she listened to him.

"_She paid attention. That she did that is weird, to say the least." _Finn thought.

"Finn, your face...it's all white." Helen remarked.

"Thanks." Finn shrugged. Just like with DeMartino, he felt weird when he wasn't being chewed out.

"We're not until later." Finn informed her. "The mother-daughters go first."

"Finn!" A voice called over.

"Oh, Stacy!" Finn immediately recognized the voice.

"Oh, you look so handsome!" Stacy gushed.

"Thanks." Finn smiled.

"Oh, you're going to be the best. And your mom is so pretty, Finn. You two are going to light up the stage together!" As soon as Stacy finished, Finn's ankle gave out, and he fell to the floor.

* * *

The art expo wasn't anything spectacular. Daria wasn't as interested in art as Jane was, but, for the sake of her friend, Daria looked at some paintings and could remember names, dates, and styles. Although Daria knew Tom's family ran an art gallery, Tom never attended any of their social gatherings. Odd, since Jane would probably pounce on such a venture. But fund-raisers were not museums. Jane probably learned that the hard way.

"Thanks for coming." Tom pondered a picture.

"Hey, free ticket is free ticket. And I don't have to go to the fashion show. It was win-win."

"I'm surprised. I would have thought you'd put itching powder in his shorts."

"And touch his shorts?" Daria cracked. Tom simply eyed her.

"Don't go Doctor Freud on my relationship with Finn." Daria ordered. "It's not productive."

"I'm not." Tom answered.

"I wonder why Jane blew you off like this." Daria remarked.

"It doesn't matter." Tom answered. He answered too quickly, and Daria could tell, despite his calm facade, that he was pissed about it. This wasn't about wasted money; this was about Jane shrugging him off at the last minute like he was little more than meat.

Not that Daria could fault him. Jane had the habit of brushing Daria off for Tom when the two started dating. Jane was a creature of whims, that was for sure.

"_I thought we did better than that." _Daria thought. That was the crap those stupid girls pulled, gave the rest of the XX"s a bad name.

"So, wanna get pizza when we're done?" Tom offered.

"I am a little famished. Do they feed you better slop at your prep school?"

"Oh yes, the good slop. It destroys your intestinal lining something fierce, but you still feel like 'Please, sir, I want some more.'"

"Nice." Daria praised. That was perhaps the single most enjoyable thing about Tom, that she couldn't share with Jane, and Tom certainly couldn't share with Finn. Daria and Tom were both incredibly well-read, and understood the finer points of such conversations.

Daria smiled, and surprised herself by how much of a good time she was having.

* * *

Finn removed his shoe and sock to look at his ankle. He didn't break anything. Didn't even sprain it. But it definitely hurt like a mother.

"Finn, are you alright?" Helen asked. Finn managed to shoo Stacy away, but his mother continued to hover. Finn hated it when people hovered over him when he was hurt.

"I'm fine, don't touch it." Finn remarked.

"Will you still be able to perform?" Helen asked. Finn thought about that for a moment. Finn could still walk, although it would be difficult to focus between his empty stomach and now the pain in his foot. And he'd still be on stage with his mother. That thought still distracted Finn.

"I...don't know. We're not on until after the women anyway." Finn answered.

"Well, just sit down." Helen instructed. "I think I have some painkillers in the car." Helen strode down the hallway towards the front door. On the way, she ran into Stacy.

"Mrs. Morgendorffer! How is Finn?" Stacy asked.

"He's fine." Helen answered.

"Did something happen with Finn?" A voice Helen knew somewhat asked. From down the hall stepped Jodie Landon. She was not dressed in a formal gown like the rest of the students.

"Hello, Jodie!" Helen remarked. "Are you participating in the show too?'

"I can't. My mother wasn't going to participate, so I'm just handling ticketing and tabulations. But what happened to Finn?"

"He just tripped." Helen shrugged.

"Finn? Tripped?" Jodie seemed incredulous. "I've never seen him trip. What is he, nervous?"

"_Nervous? That's what I said." _Helen thought. What would Finn be so nervous about? He had done this with Amazon and shown no fear. He walked on the stage, posed with his friends. The only thing that was different...

"_...Is me." _Helen thought to herself. He was nervous because of her. Doing something with her was causing him to falter. Was that a good sign, to get through his defenses like that? For all his outgoing personality, Finn was more infinitely more heavily shielded than Daria was.

"_What's the problem?" _Helen thought. She was doing things with Finn; things that he was interested in. Why didn't he get the hint, that she was interested in him as a person, and not just as the offspring she was obligated to care for.

"Anyway, I'm going back to Finn." Helen remarked.

"Weren't you going for some painkillers?" Stacy asked.

"I have some in my purse." Helen lied. Maybe there were, maybe there weren't. But Finn's nerves were stopping him from doing well as something he wanted to do well in, and those nerves were being caused by his mother. Helen claimed no responsibility for it, but she was in a position to do something about it. And Helen Morgendorffer did not shy away from the things she wanted to do.

* * *

Finn was still seated in the chair.

"Finn, you feeling better?" Helen asked. Finn didn't answer. He was wincing a little, but he did not appear to be in any serious pain.

"Finn, you've been nervous all week. Are you all right?"

"I'm not made of glass, Mom." Finn huffed.

"Finn, you're nervous. It's all right."

"I am not nervous." Finn delivered. Helen knew he was lying through his teeth.

"Finn, you're nervous because I'm with you, aren't you?" Helen posed.

"W...what." Finn was caught off-guard, perhaps due to being distracted because of his ankle. He didn't have time to prepare his defenses.

"Finn, the audience here, they want to see you. You know that, right? If you bail out now, you'll be disappointing them." Helen pulled a bluff. She didn't know how many people would be looking for Finn specifically, but he was worshipped by people more than Stacy. Helen knew this for a fact. Finn may have toned down his mercenary tactics for gift-getting, but Finn dated four times a week minimum, and girls still made strides to gain his affections.

"I'll disappoint them walking on a bad foot." Finn returned.

"Finn, you have more skill than all of the students here put together." Helen praised. Finn's eyes went wide at her praise. Was it truly so foreign to him

"I mean it, Finn." Helen continued. "You could wear a burlap sack and knee-high white socks and still make the people in the audience want to buy it."

"Ummm...thanks."

"I know it sounds strange, and I'm not saying things to try and make up for everything that happened with you growing up. But Finn, you are an amazingly talented young man who knows how to work his assets to their best features. And you've used those talents of yours to do great things for other people. I remember around this time last year, when Stacy was all scared and panicky, and you, all by yourself, managed to get her to realize her own spine. And you did it without expecting a reward of any kind. And you can work it here, raise money to donate it to raise awareness and treatment for a serious condition. But you won't as long as you let your nerves get the better of you. It doesn't matter what causes them, you're the only one who can beat them. Come on, Finn, stand up. You'll be fine. I believe in you." Finn was quiet for a time, and Helen could see the conflict in his face.

Then he stood up, and put his sock and shoe on.

"The show must go on."

* * *

Finn didn't let the pain in his foot show as he took to the stage with his mother. He ignored everything around him. He strutted to the from of the stage, right beside his mother. They posed, the people bid. Finn didn't pay attention to them. He no longer felt his nerves once he started, and he forgot about his foot two steps in. He heard Upchuck, the master of ceremonies, announcing mother and son as they took to the stage. Finn wanted to punch him when he made a comment about his mother and cougars, and it surprised him that he'd want to defend his mother's honor like that. And then he strode back and out of sight. There was no hurrying, no fear. It was only after the show was done when Finn felt the pain in his foot, but even that paled to the encouragement his mother had given him.

She actually told him he was successful. She wasn't just blasting him like she always did. It was still weird, but fuzzy.

"Hey, stranger." A voice jarred Finn from his thoughts. It was Jane. She came to the show? Without Tom? She really did blow him off?

"Hello." Finn was in too good a mood to press the issue.

"Good job. I slept through the mother-daughter part, but you did awesome."

"We made the most, I think. Sandi and her mom didn't come close. Ha ha." Finn alughed.

"And with your mom." Jane noted. "See what happens when you get over yourself."

"And here I thought you were on my side."

"I am. Sometimes, though, you're not." Jane remarked. Finn might have found that insightful, if he didn't have so many thoughts going on in his head.

"Anyway, I gotta head home. Mystik Spiral's coming over and I need to make sure one or more of them doesn't think my paint is some kind of jelly. Max almost did that once."

"That's...quite a terrifying thought." Finn noted. "Make sure you call Tom about blowing him off."

"Thanks for spoiling the mood." Jane was harsh, but not critical. She disappeared into the throng of people.

"Finn!" Helen called over to him.

"Yes?" Finn remarked.

"Are you ready to leave."

"Yeah. I wanna get off my ankle."

"Finn, it's not even hurt." Helen remarked.

"But I still play ball, and force like that will make any injury. And I always use my legs. But...but thanks. Doing this...was a good thing to do."

And Helen felt a wave of contentment she hadn't felt in quite a long time.

* * *

Once back at the hotel, Finn changed into slightly less-nicer clothes for a late dinner with his father. Helen had to wake up early the next day, so she couldn't eat so late. Finn waited in the lobby for his dad, but before the man showed up, Tom's beat-up Pinto was seen pulling up to the front doors.

"_Tom? Did he go over Jane's yet? Or did he think Jane was here?" _Finn wondered. He stood up to greet the man. But he didn't get out of his car. Instead, the front door opened, and out, to Finn's surprise, stepped Daria. No one else was in Tom's car, and the two bantered for a moment while Daria talked to Tom while standing just outside.

"_You and Tom, Daria....were you on a..." _Finn couldn't finish the thought. No way, no chance. Tom would never date Daria, and even Daria wasn't that stupid to make out with Tom or date him behind Jane's back or anything.

But Daria seemed happy with Tom, and Finn couldn't dismiss the evil thoughts. He needed to figure that out quick on Tom's end. Finn could tell there was a lot of strain between Jane and Tom, and their relationship was looking bad. Jane and Tom were both his friends, but Tom was getting increasingly more and more frustrated with Jane's behavior, and Jane was suspicious of Tom and Daria together already.

Who was to blame for things going like this? Finn couldn't just say it was Daria, must as he wanted to. But ultimately, Finn wanted to know how he could help his two friends fix this problem of theirs, just like Finn helped Stacy fix hers.

But Finn didn't know, and it bothered him. It was right in front of him and Finn didn't know what to do.


	31. Artist, Boyfriend, Bitch, Brother

Finn chuckled for a moment as he walked down the street to Jane's house. It had been two weeks since the family moved back into the house following the paint job. While Finn missed the hotel, he didn't miss the drives to and from there that had to be made. Finn was fine with driving, but he hated being a passenger in a car. Everyone just seemed to drive too slowly.

Finn still wasn't exactly certain why Jane had called him, and did not ask to speak to Daria once he was done with the phone. She just asked him to come over so she could show him something. It made Finn laugh: Only Jane, and perhaps Stacy, could do such things for him.

Finn knocked on the Lane door, but when no one answered he pushed his way inside. That was the rule of the Lane household: Knock and unlocked, come right in. Finn maneuvered his way towards Jane's room, and saw the door was open somewhat. Finn knocked on it, but the force of his fist pushed the door open further. Jane was inside, with Tom. The two were making out. At the sound of Finn's knock, Jane broke it off.

"Yikes!" Jane noted, but did not appear offended.

"Don't let me stop you." Finn chuckled.

"Hey, Finn, nice to see you." Tom greeted. Finn returned it.

"So anyway, Jane, what is it you wanted to show me?" Finn asked politely.

"You'll love it." Tom noted before Jane turned the canvas standing next to her around, so that the art was facing Finn.

Jane had painted a self-portrait of herself, with a background painted like jungle leaves. Jane's picture though, had one major difference from the Jane in real life. Her hair was striped her normal black with a light yellow.

"It reminds me of a tiger." Finn remarked.

"Then it was done correctly." Jane answered. "This is going to be my new look."

"New look? You mean with, like, hair dye?" Finn asked.

"That's exactly what I mean." Jane answered.

"It's quite original, Jane." Tom commented. "I'd kiss you more if Finn wasn't watching."

"Thanks for that." Finn chuckled. "I think it's great, but you know, though, dyeing your hair like that is going to be complicated. You can't even do it yourself if it was just a straight dye. That's going to take a steady hand."

"Yeah, Jane, I was thinking that." Tom agreed. "Who's going to help you do your hair?"

"Well, I think I'll just ask Daria." Jane remarked. Finn snickered.

"What?" Jane asked the quarterback.

"I mean, it's Daria, with beauty tips. I'm sorry, it's just...I mean..." Finn started to laugh uncontrollably.

"Well, you two lugs here probably wouldn't do a better job." Jane remarked.

"Ouch. Hurt my man-feelings with that one." Tom noted.

"All one of them." Finn quickly added. "Anyway, there are other people besides Daria who would do a better job."

"They test cosmetics on pigs. We could use one of those." Tom and Finn started to have playful sniping with Jane.

"Yo, padres? I still need someone to do my hair." Jane brought their game to an end.

"Okay, listen. You're talking to someone who knows everyone at Lawndale and can get that right person to do the job. Hold off on asking Daria, and leave it to Finn."

"Wow. You're taking this seriously." Tom noted.

"What's wrong with looking good?" Finn returned.

"When your parents keep telling you to wear what they want you to wear to be presentable." Tom answered. Finn had forgotten that Kay Sloane was pretty big on stuff like that.

"Yeah. Sorry. That was insensitive." Finn apologized remorsefully.

"No big deal." Tom remarked.

"No matter how many times I see it, I'm still amazed you guys make up that quickly." Jane answered.

"Hey, no one's perfect. I know Finn didn't mean anything by it." Tom answered.

"Thanks." Finn answered. "Anyway, I better get started on finding out whose gonna get that hair done. I'll make a few calls tonight, swing by after school tomorrow?"

"Perfect." Jane answered. "Later."

Finn laughed to himself as he headed on his way home. Jane wanted to dye her hair? It was certainly unusual. Jane was much like Daria in that she didn't care about appearances, she just cared a bit more. Enough to wear lipstick, at least.

Finn had already thought of the perfect hair specialist to do the job. Someone who wouldn't talk too much and make Jane want to shove something down her throat. And Tom was being very supportive about things too.

Finn still remembered that time, back at the hotel, when Daria had gone out with Tom that night Jane blew him off. While Finn still criticized Jane for her rude behavior, it had been Tom Finn had been eyeing strangely. He actually chose to do something with Daria? And Daria accepted? It seemed innocent at first: Tom had a free ticket, and needed a partner; Daria was just bored. Nothing wrong with that. Innocent fun.

But Finn's thoughts were not dispelled, but from Daria's end. Daria did not treat people with human decency. The fact that she did so with Tom was strange. Perhaps Daria actually started to wise up, but that couldn't be possible. She still treated the rest of the people at school, like Brittany and Kevin, with mocking disdain. There may not have been anything praiseworthy about those two, but they weren't malicious. They didn't deserve her insults.

Finn had wanted to talk to Tom about that night the two had when Finn was at the fashion show, but he never got the chance to. Tom was spending more time with Jane, doing that mushy romantic stuff; something Finn found odd since Tom was never the one to put on airs. And Finn would not force this issue in front of Jane. Finn had been around Jane long enough to know she freaked out a lot about stuff like this.

Finn didn't suspect anything, but he wanted to be sure. He wanted to hear it from Tom. But Finn pushed the thoughts out of his head as he made a phone call.

* * *

Jane was pacing anxiously after school the next day. Finn had told her to leave everything to him, and she believed him. And, as she started to think about it, perhaps Finn would have been the better Morgendorffer to ask. Daria had never painted anything before, and cared nothing for fashion. She might make a careless blunder. On purpose, Jane didn't think so, but the possibility was there.

While Finn styled his hair frequently, Jane had never known him to dye it. But he had his feelers out there. Jane could only eagerly await.

Finn had been on Jane's mind more and more lately. Most of it was a concern for him. A lot had happened with him in the past few months, and it was good to see that some of the advice Jane had given to him was fruitful. It made Jane feel both smart and necessary. Her report card usually dispelled notions of the former, and her own life made the latter a little less.

And Jane knew what it was that made her feel this way: Her relationship with Tom. Tom was putting a lot of effort into the relationship, but she knew there were problems. The two of them still fought a lot. Jane did like Tom, but the whole relationship thing was starting to get a little forced. Jane and Tom had never slept together, but they did more than just go to the movies together. The physical relationship wasn't bad, but when it came down to it, Tom was very cerebral, and Jane knew that she was not. Tom loved his intelligent talks about...whatever that stuff was that Jane couldn't even figure out. He could only do those with Daria.

"Daria." Jane always found herself eyeing Tom and Daria suspiciously. Tom was over at the Morgendorffer house a lot, seeing as how he was close friends with Finn, but Daria was right down the hall. Whose to say they didn't continue their talks there?

Finn had said there was nothing there, but did he really know? It wasn't as if Daria and Finn were close siblings and could share things like Jane could with Trent. Perhaps there wasn't, but Jane wasn't convinced. The not knowing was what was bothering her.

There was a knock on the door, and Jane went to answer it. Finn was standing outside, and beside him was a short Asian girl. Jane didn't know her name, but she knew she was one of the mindless Fashion Club drones.

"Hey, Jane." Finn smiled.

"Hey." Jane remarked.

"This is Tiffany." Finn gestured to the Asian girl.

"We have...a lot of work. We should...start...with a..." Tiffany started.

"Tiffany, we already know what we need. We just need you to do it."

"What are...we doing?" Tiffany asked.

"I'll show you. I like it, and I know you will to!" Finn cracked a smile and struck a manly pose. Jane blushed a little bit.

"Of course...Anything...for you...Finn." All three went inside the house.

* * *

Finn showed Tiffany the picture in Jane's room. It was easy to get Tiffany to agree to dye Jane's hair in exchange for a date. Finn reasoned that this wasn't a reversion to his former habits, as Jane was the one receiving the profit, not Finn. Plus, he was on the worse end of the deal anyway. Being around Tiffany was brain-numbing enough. To date her? Finn tried to dismiss the thought for now.

"Okay, so you see what it needs to look like." Finn instructed. Tiffany seemed puzzled as she looked at it.

"I really like it." Finn remarked, and Tiffany immediately started to move, looking at the paint Jane used as well as her own hair in order to choose the right color. She'd do anything he said, Finn chuckled to himself. Maybe there would be a way to get out of the payment after all.

"I know...what we need to do." Tiffany remarked. "I just need...to use...the bathroom...Then...we can get...the dye." Finn directed her, and Tiffany left.

"You know, I can probably get her to pay for the dye too..." Finn laughed.

"That's okay. This is my re-invention and I should front the bill. Still, that's some chick."

"Her work on hair is solid. I can't say anything else is." Finn remarked. This was Tiffany's use, and that was all Finn ever used her for. Even back when he was getting gifts, Tiffany's gifts revolved around herself. One time, she send him a large poster of herself with brown hair she had said used to hang on her wall. Of what use was that?

"What did you do to get her help?"

"The most horrific thing known to man."

"Sleep with her?" Jane's eyes widened.

"Oh God, it does get worse!" Finn had never even remotely considered the possibility of sex with Tiffany. He wasn't even sure she was a real teenaged girl. Finn just assumed she was some sort of sentient mirror who walked around admiring herself.

"No, just a date." Finn remarked. "I might need to use the old callsigns."

"You haven't used them with your mom." Jane remarked.

"I haven't needed them. You can double-check with Tom if you don't believe me." Finn answered. His mother had not called a mother-son bonding day since before the retreat.

"Things are...a lot less tense." Finn answered honestly. While part of him still really hated his mother for everything he did, Finn knew that nothing he could do would change the past, and his mother's efforts, they were earnest. Earnest enough that Finn would give things a shot. And it did seem to work out. He couldn't forgive her neglect, but if she wanted to try and make amends, Finn could allow that. She was making the effort to truly bond, and that meant just as much as the activity itself.

"I'm ready." Tiffany exited the bathroom.

* * *

Picking the hair dye was a simple enough task, and once back at Casa Lane, Tiffany started to mix the dye together. Jane sat at the table with a towel on her shoulders, Finn leaned against the wall to give the girls space.

"How's Tom?" Finn asked.

"You would know, he's your friend. We're thinking of heading out tonight." Jane answered.

"Cool. You guys spend a lot more time together." Finn answered.

"We date. Gotta spend time together dating." Jane remarked. In truth, she wasn't happy for it. It really only meant she could see how not-very-alike the two of them were. Jane wasn't outdoorsy, and she knew she wasn't book-smart. That was Tom. Finn and Tom had a very close friendship because they both loved the outdoors. Once winter ended and the weather got warmer, those two went out hiking together. They were even discussing camping over the summer.

And book-smarts? Daria had that. Daria had lots of that. And she and Tom could have these little conversations neither Jane nor Finn could follow. It was like they were speaking in a foreign language, and it made Jane wonder whether they were talking about her or not. She doubted it, but if Jane could see the tension in her relationship, Tom certainly could.

"Now...we begin...app...app...app..." Tiffany stuttered in her slow tone. It grated on Jane's nerves a lot.

"Application." Finn quickly finished.

"Thanks, Finn." Tiffany smiled at him. Puppy love, Jane chastised the girl mentally. Or puppy lust. Finn would eat an idiot like her alive. Jane would pay to see a show like that.

* * *

Tiffany started to paint Jane's hair. For all her slow speech, she certainly worked fast with the hair. Her work was methodical, and Finn couldn't help but wonder if she just carefully considered everything she said. And then he recalled his other encounters with her, and knew that it was just because her head was full of nothing.

"_Heh, wonder if we could make her fly in the sky like a balloon_." Finn pictured the thought in his head, but kept his mouth shut.

"All...finished!" Tiffany remarked. "I...did...it."

"Thanks, Tiffany." Finn remarked. Tiffany delicately covered Jane's head with a shower cap.

"Now, let's talk sometime next week about payment. " Finn started to walk her to the door. Anything to get her far away from him. It was easier than he thought: Tiffany would do anything Finn wanted.

Once she was gone, Finn returned to Jane.

"All right, so we keep the cap on for...how long did it say? Oh well, no matter. I'll stick around. I want to be the first to see when it's done."

The time passed rather slowly. Finn insisted Jane keep her head as still as possible. But eventually, Jane was able to get her shower cap off. Finn was quite impressed with Tiffany's work. It had gone impeccably. Jane's hair had the tiger stripes she dreamed off.

"It's fantastic!" Finn exclaimed as he shoved Jane in front of a mirror.

"Wow!" Jane was impressed. "I must insist you take that date with that Tiffany girl out of principle."

"Not dating Tiffany is another principle." Finn answered. "But we gotta show this off!"

"Huh?"

"I mean we need to go out and flaunt you."

"Well, I was planning to reveal it at school tomorrow." Jane answered.

"Don't be such a nerd. Oh...oh wait, you were going out with Tom today, weren't you. He'll like it, but I'm not going to interrupt your date. Forget I brought it up."

"I can date Tom anytime. You're right, we should get people to worship me." Jane laughed.

"We really shouldn't." Finn chuckled initially, but changed his tune rather quickly.

"Tom won't mind."

"Jane, you keep blowing him off. It's really not a good habit."

"For every night I blow off, I take another. He could use a break anyway. Come on, we need to get pizza!" Jane dragged Finn out the door.

* * *

Jane and Finn went out to Pizza Palace, and then to a dance club. Jane had never been to a dance club before, but they were certainly interesting. In small doses. Lots of people spoke to her while at the club. They thought she was a new girl. Of course, they thought that because of her hair, she was a lot wilder than she was, and Finn needed to step in once they suggested something about the backseat of a car. When the man suggested that Finn could watch, he decked the bastard.

"_Quite gallant_." Jane thought to herself. She and Finn danced a bit, but Jane wasn't really into dancing, and she knew she wasn't that good. It wouldn't serve for Finn to be seen with an embarrassing partner. Finn insisted it wasn't the case, but noticed she was clearly out of her element.

"Maybe I should have thought of a better thing." Finn mentioned.

"How could you know?" Jane remarked. "It's okay." There was a bit of silence as Jane drove, and as she caught Finn out of the corner of his eye, she could tell he was nervous. He was sweating, she could hear him gulping, and his breathing was shallow. Finn was a master at making people believe things when he set his mind to it, but when he wasn't, he was an open book.

Of course, what it could be was anyone's guess.

Jane pulled up to the Morgendorffer house.

"Hey, Jane. Thanks." Finn remarked. "I...I hope you had fun."

"Somewhat. Thanks for helping me celebrate my new do."

"Not many people from our school, though." Finn remarked. "Looks like that's where you'll be showing off."

"Gotta do what we gotta do." Jane chuckled. Finn laughed too. Jane could still hear his nervousness.

"I...I should get going. Lots of homework to do. Big...big!" Finn stuttered as he poured himself out of the car.

"But...but thanks. Your...your hair is lovely." Finn noted before he practically sprinted back to the door.

"_What was he so nervous about?_" Jane thought. She tried to dismiss it from her mind as she headed back home to Casa Lane. It was very quiet in the house when she got home. Trent must have still been asleep.

Jane headed back up to her room and started to resume work on her painting, still thinking about Finn's nervous reaction to her. It was not long after that there was a knock on the door. Jane descended the stairs, wondering if it was Finn. Perhaps he had another idea? It wasn't that late.

But it wasn't Finn. It was Tom. And he did not look pleased.

* * *

"Hey." Jane greeted her boyfriend civilly, but he was scowling at her. Every time it happened, though, Jane knew the reason why. He was angry about something.

"I...I guess I sorta blew you off, didn't I?" Jane shrugged.

"Without calling." Tom added. "I stopped by here and no one was around. I stopped by Daria's and you weren't there either."

"You went to Daria's?" Jane asked.

"To look for you. Daria hadn't seen you and Finn was out. Since your hair is done, I assume it wasn't that."

"Well, no." Jane admitted. She already knew this was going to be painful. Was she so desperate to resort to honesty?

"I went out to celebrate my hair." Jane answered.

"Wasn't that what we were going to do?" Tom remarked.

"No, we were going to the 'cinema'" Jane emphasized Tom's pronunciation. Jane only called the movie theater a "cinema" when they were going to see those foreign or symbolic movies that completely went over Jane's head.

"You weren't celebrating alone. Who were you with?" Tom asked. Although Jane was certain he already knew the answer.

"I went with Finn." Jane answered honestly. "He made sure the girl that did my hair didn't go. Probably would have killed her if she did.

"You blew me off to go out with Finn? That's not exactly something a boyfriend likes hearing." Tom scowled even further.

"Look, Tom, we did my hair, I was all excited, and we went out. Finn told me I shouldn't, but I did."

"Thanks, Jane. That makes me feel a lot better." Tom remarked sarcastically.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay. It's still light out. You wanna go get..."

"Forget it." Tom turned around and walked out the door.

"Tom!" Jane called, but he pulled into his car and drove off.

"_Dammit!_" Jane cursed to herself. She thought about calling, but Tom would not do something so obvious as go home. She needed to let him seethe for a while.

* * *

Tom knew where he was going: the Morgendorffer household. There were no cars in the driveway, but, considering what he knew about Helen and Jake, the parents Morgendorffer, that was not surprising. He rang the doorbell. A minute later, Finn opened the door.

"Hey, Tom!" Finn answered innocently and pleasantly. How the hell could he keep such a straight face?

"Evening. Listen, can I talk to you. In private?" Tom remarked. Finn's eyes widened, but he led him up to his room.

"What is it?" Finn asked.

"I was just over at Jane's." Tom clarified.

"From your tone, I take it this isn't about her hair." Finn answered. There was a brief silence.

"Hey, I told her not to blow you off."

"And I believe you. I know Jane, and I know you. That's a move she'd pull."

"Aren't you being...well, I guess with things as they are, I have no right to criticize." Finn shrugged. "So what brings you here?"

"I want to know something. What's the story between you and Jane?"

"Me and...there's nothing between us. We're just friends. We've never done anything short of friendly hugs."

"Is that so?" Tom remarked.

"Dude, Jane is your girlfriend. If there are two things I don't do, it's mack on another guy's girl, or stab my buddy in the back." Finn answered sincerely. Tom leaned against the wall, shut his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Would you date Jane if I wasn't around?"

"I...No, of course not. Daria knows where I sleep." Finn protested. "What's the matter with you?"

"It's just...Jane blows me off all the time for you."

"I don't ask her to." Finn quickly countered.

"It's frustrating. So you do have never...done anything?"

"Of course not, I don't do that touchy-feely crap anyway." Finn answered.

"Okay. That's really all I needed. I'm going to head back to Jane's now. Later." Tom answered. "Thanks for putting my mind somewhat at ease." Tom excused himself soon afterwards.

* * *

Finn sighed deeply after Tom left. He had no idea things were so bad between him and Jane. He wondered if, maybe, he should talk with Jane about how she had been treating Tom. As much as he got along with Jane, she should have been better than that.

But Finn dismissed that thought. That was a private discussion he had with Tom, and he'd have to reveal it if he did. Not to mention spending private time around Jane like that made Finn a lot more nervous. He knew he was flirty with Jane. Always had been, even before Tom. But if that was making Tom uncomfortable, perhaps he'd better lay low for a while. No sense making things awkward for perhaps the best friend he ever had.

Jane wasn't in school the next day. Finn tried the pay phones, but she wasn't answering. When Daria questioned him, Finn replied that he knew nothing.

"I know you two went out last night." Daria pointed out.

"And nothing happened. She was fine when she dropped me off." Finn answered. He certainly was not about to tell her Tom's doubts. He did say he went back to Jane's after he left the house. Perhaps things did not end well? Perhaps Tom was the person Finn should have been using his change to call.

"Argue all you want, Daria, nothing happened." Finn growled at her. He stormed off before she could make a retort.

* * *

Tom had gone back to Jane's house following his conversation with Finn, but he didn't do anything there. He pulled the car a bit away and sat in the dark for a moment, silently piecing together the fragments in his relationship with Jane. He did this for a long time, and didn't reach the Sloane manor until very late. And he didn't sleep well, either.

Tom was tempted to skip school, but ultimately decided against it. Distressed though he was, it would cause an unnecessary headache later on. Tom was nothing if not careful.

After school, though, he immediately headed over to Jane's. She answered the door.

"Hey." She remarked to him.

"Jane, I think we should talk. About you. And Finn." Tom remarked.

"Do we really have to? We just argued yesterday, and I'm taking a mental health day."

"I want to know how you feel about Finn. Because you keep blowing me off for him, and I can't just believe it's just you two being friends."

"Why not?" Jane challenged. "You go out with your friends. You go out with Daria."

"I only go out with Daria after you blow me off." Tom corrected. He started to lose his composure quickly.

"And don't change the subject." Tom corrected.

"Finn and I are friends. He's done a lot for me, and never asked me for anything back. He's a good friend. That's all." Jane insisted.

"Daria's a good friend, and I don't see you blowing me off for her." Tom remarked.

"Daria's not into that stuff. I mean, we date and we don't have the same interests. Finn takes me fun places sometimes; he's the only one that will. That's all it is."

"And you have to blow me off for it?"

"Okay, so it's not all that. I...I worry about Finn sometimes. He and his mom, well, you know how bad it was. I wanted to help him out."

"You know, Jane, you can do these things without constantly blowing me off, you know. I tried to help out too."

"Jeez, Tom, it's always about you."

"No, Jane, it's about us. Although I'm not sure how long that's going to last." Tom huffed.

"What's that supposed to mean? You want to break up?"

"It's clear you're bored, and I'm sick of being a third wheel in my own relationship. We were breaking up anyway. Might as well be official." Tom delivered. Jane, to his surprise, actually seemed heartbroken. There was silence for a moment. Tom didn't know how Jane would react.

"I'm leaving." Tom broke the awkwardness.

"Wait!" Jane called.

"For what?"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay."

"You're always sorry. Then you do it again. I still like you, Jane, you're still pretty cool. But there's no point in us dating anymore." Tom turned around and walked out the door so Jane wouldn't see the heartbreak in his own face. Sometimes, the necessary things were the most painful.

It had taken longer than Tom realized when he left Jane's house. It was already close to 6. He briefly considered his next step. Perhaps he would stop over at the Morgendorffer's and inform Finn?

"No." Tom dismissed. That revelation would depress him. Tom knew Finn well enough to know that. But he knew he had to do it eventually. Tom had to drive by the house anyway. It may well have been to check on Finn.

There were no cars in the Morgendorffer driveway again, but Daria was walking home in the opposite direction. Finished reading at the library, perhaps?

"Hey!" Tom called over to her.

"Oh, hey." Daria was pleasant. Did she not know of the breakup? Of course she wouldn't; it just happened.

"What's up?" Daria asked. "You look kinda, well, gloomy.

"Well...it's a long story. If you want to hear about it, come on in." Tom offered. Daria deliberated, and then opened the passenger side.

"Short version: Jane and I broke up." Tom delivered.

"Oh!" Daria remarked with genuine surprise. "What...happened?"

"A lot of stuff. I was hoping to see your brother."

"He's at practice." Daria remarked.

"Oh. Good."

"I thought you were looking for him." Daria remarked. Tom ignored it, she wouldn't get it.

"Hey, listen, there's something I wanted to ask you about Jane..."

"Tom, it's hard enough dealing with all of Jane's freaky accusations."

"Freaky accusations?" Tom puzzled.

"About me liking you." Daria remarked. Of everything Tom expected her to say, that was not it.

"That's what she thought? I guess that explains some of her behavior."

"No, it doesn't. I don't want to date you." Daria protested, forcefully and fearfully.

"I certainly wouldn't ruin your friendship." Tom remarked.

"And you're my brother's friend. That's just too weird." Daria didn't look at Tom as she spoke. She was blushing, Tom noticed.

"No weirder than both you two being friends with Jane."

"I mean, no matter what feelings I have for you, there's nothing going to happen."

"No matter what feelings?" Tom puzzled her words.

"I mean whatever she might...dammit! You enjoy teasing me?" Daria started to get angry.

"I'm not teasing you, it's just weird."

"There's nothing between us." Daria remarked. Tom knew she was lying. She had been lying for a long time. They had a connection, common interests. Nothing he had with Jane. And she certainly couldn't keep her eyes off him when she caught him changing his clothes.

Tom started getting frustrated, and his mind started to swim. He couldn't even think straight. What should he do.

"Daria..." Tom started, but his mind was muddled. He could barely speak. He was feeling an attraction he hadn't felt before, not even with Jane.

Tom leaned forward, and kissed Daria right on the lips. She responded with full force.

* * *

The events in the car did not go further than making out. No clothes were shed, mouths stayed on the lips, and hands remained on the back of either the head or torso. Tom did not cop a feel even though he could have.

Once it ended, there was some slightly heavy breathing.

"I can't believe we just did that." Daria was surprised.

"I..." Tom stammered. For all his forwardness initiating the kiss, he turned into a nervous little boy very quickly.

"I...should go." Daria fumbled for the car door. She couldn't even get it open.

"Is this locked?" She asked

"It doesn't lock." Tom answered. Daria fumbled with the door for a minute, finally got the damn thing open, and stepped out of the car.

"I'll...I'll call you back." Daria stuttered out before practically running back to the house.

* * *

Finn was still at practice, so Daria was alone in the house, but she still retreated to the safety of her room. Once there, she shut and locked her door, even though there was absolutely no purpose to that at the moment.

"_Did I...just kiss Tom Sloane? Jane's apparently now ex-boyfriend_?" Daria thought. Jane had not mentioned that she had broken up with Tom. In fact, she saw the two of them together yesterday. Did that just happen recently? As in did he just break up, and then make out with her?

"_Even I think that's pretty tasteless. Still, it's not like you were stopping, Morgendorffer_." Daria chastised herself. She felt funny in many different ways. She had never actually made out with anyone before. She wasn't even sure she was doing it right. Tom wasn't complaining; she took that as a good sign.

Daria wasn't exactly sure how to feel. Alarmed, to be sure. Flattered, without a doubt. Surprised, both at Tom and herself. Even a little disgusted. Is that what it was like? It's not like Daria had asked the other, more sociable, members of her family that question.

"_You're in such a good mood, you could throw up." Daria _thought to herself. As soon as the adrenaline started to wear down, Daria realized something extremely important. She had just kissed her best friend's ex. Wasn't that taboo? Or offensive?

She needed to talk to someone about this. As if responding to her, the front door opened. But Daria could tell from the swaggering footsteps that Finn had returned from practice. He was not the person to talk to. Serial dater though he was, he certainly would take offense to this action, even if Tom completely initiated the procedure.

But subtlety could work. Subtlety was lost on Finn, so Daria reasoned. She had gotten away with it before. She went downstairs and found him at the kitchen counter making himself a sandwich. She got herself a soda, and sat down at the table. Finn took his seat opposite her, and quietly ate his makeshift dinner. This sort of silence served the family well, and Daria couldn't help but wonder if Jane and Trent were much like this while growing up. Doubtful though. Such an act required food in the house.

"Finn, do you know where Mom is?" Daria asked.

"Work." Finn answered brusquely, as he always did with her. Daria supposed she was thankful that things were this tame between them. Ever since their father's heart attack almost a year ago, Finn's hostility at the table had reached an all-time low. The two siblings shared little, and their relationship hadn't graduated beyond the mercenary relationship it had always been, but there was teasing where there was out and out hostility. In truth, Daria never thought she'd see that.

"Do you know when she'll be back?" Daria posed.

"No. Probably not until we're asleep. Marianne told me she's been a brutal taskmaster. So goes the new partner." Finn ambivalently returned to his sandwich. He would not question what Daria wanted their mother for. It mattered not to him. Sure enough, he didn't even say another word.

"Finn..." Daria started, but she hesitated. What, exactly, would she ask him. Was dating your best friend's ex a crime against society's laws? Jane didn't care for that bull, and Finn would easily piece together what happened.

"What?" He shrugged.

"What's that friend of yours on the football team?"

"I'm friends with all the football team." Finn returned.

"I mean those ones you're always around. Not Kevin or Mack." Daria delivered, Finn looked at her as if she had grown a third head.

"Okay. Well, there's Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie."

"That's them." Daria answered. "If one of them dated a girl and broke up with her, would you date her if she was good-looking and bought you all the right things?" Finn looked at her with even more surprise.

"Of course not. Jesus, Daria, what the hell kind of question is that. If any one of those guys dumped a girl, there's a reason for it. And that's reason enough to stay away."

"And what if she did the dumping?"

"Then I'd take revenge on the little bitch. You screw with one member of the team, you screw with them all. And I have a good memory. What's with the obvious questions?"

"It's...it's for a story I'm writing. I gotta go finish it." Finn's indirect condemnation was actually starting to worry Daria. While she wasn't certain she made a mistake, she wasn't exactly certain she'd come through this unscathed.

* * *

The next day was a school day, and Daria was dreading seeing Jane. She did not wait for her at her house to walk, like she normally did. Instead, Daria went to school on her own, and hung around in the hallways.

But it would truly be of no use. She and Jane had multiple classes together. Choosing them this way made class more bearable.

But Jane caught up to Daria before classes even started. She looked...positively normal.

"Hair dye?" Daria asked, trying to keep the topic not about her ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend she shouldn't know about. The one that kissed her. Daria held her breath to stop from hyperventilating.

"I couldn't look at it anymore, so I dyed it back. Trent helped me." Jane answered.

"That's...too bad." Daria tried to sound sympathetic, but her mind wasn't about Jane's hair.

"Tom and I...he dumped me." Jane remarked sadly. She then looked at Daria.

"You're taking this pretty well." Jane remarked to Daria's flat expression.

"You know I don't do emotions. Court order." Daria answered. There was an awkward silence between the two of them.

"Wow, you're really sympathetic today." Jane remarked sarcastically. Daria couldn't even feed into it. Much as she wanted to.

"I know you broke up already." Daria answered. Jane's eyes widened.

"How?"

"Tom told me."

"Why the hell would Tom tell you?" Jane asked.

"He came over last night looking for Finn."

"Oh yeah, Finn was at practice. So, he didn't find Finn and he told you?"

"No. I asked him what was bothering him and then he told me. And then I kissed him." Daria admitted. The color drained from Jane's face. Her eyes widened in shock. She didn't even twitch.

"I didn't mean to." Daria noted. That wasn't a lie: She only reciprocated.

"You...kissed...Tom. My..."

"I had known you were broken up." Daria covered.

"That's some excuse!" Jane got angry. "He was my boyfriend, dammit!"

"Former boyfriend."

"When is former ever okay to date?" Jane challenged.

"Gee, I wasn't even aware he was your boyfriend."

"Excuse me?" Jane remarked.

"Come on, Jane. It's pretty clear you didn't care about him."

"Hey, watch it, Morgendorffer." Jane cautioned, but Daria continued.

"First you blow me off for Tom, and then you throw him off for Finn. Seriously, Jane. Are you aware Tom spent seventy-five bucks to get you into that art expo, and you blew him off at the last minute?"

"What does that have to do with you..."

"Everything!" Daria accused. "Look, Jane, I've always been your friend, but that doesn't mean I agree with everything you do. Tom went to great pains to treat you to something he didn't like, and you didn't even give a crap!" Jane was stunned at Daria's attack. Her eyes widened, and actually got a little misty. What, exactly did it mean? Was she surprised and hurt by the accusation, or by Daria herself?

Instead, Jane ran off. She didn't hear sobbing, and the crowd of students, drawn by the raised voices, started gossiping about what happened? Did they hear? Did they know? Now these rumors would circulate the school.

Finn had left the house earlier than Daria did, which could mean only one thing. He was skipping school today. Daria never thought anything of it before: She never had evidence of him doing it to use against him. But, for the first time, she was glad he did.

* * *

Jane drove straight over to Tom's house, only going halfway there before realizing that it was before nine, and Tom would be at school. The rest of the day passed slowly, and, when the afternoon came, and Jane knew Tom would be at home, she rang his doorbell. He answered the door, and scowled a bit when he saw her.

"What is it?" Tom was still seething, it seemed. It was rare that he would do such a thing. He must have been really hurt by all that happened. By the breakup? By what caused it, the whole blowing him off? Or was it kissing Daria?

Jane wasn't sure whether to confront him directly, go in with fists flying, or curl up in a ball around a fenced of barbed wire.

"You kissed Daria last night." Jane said as steadily as she could, trying not to let the fear in her voice show.

Tom was quite stunned by what Jane had said. She was not challenging him. It was merely a statement of fact.

"Yes." Tom admitted. What was the point of lying about it.

"I assume you'll want to come in and talk." Tom remarked. Jane shot him a look that answered in the affirmative.

Tom had no desire to handle this in the house, with his sister home. So the two went into the backyard and sat on his old swingset. He hadn't used this in years, and the thing was in quite a state of disrepair.

"I'm not proud of it." Tom admitted first. It was the truth, of course. While he wasn't actually cheating on Jane by kissing Daria, it was pretty tasteless given that things happened so quickly.

"And this was the first time it happened." Tom answered. Jane nodded as if she believed him. Did she believe him?

"But still, Tom, how long did you wait?" Jane asked.

"It was a lot of things." Tom admitted. "There was a lot on my mind. I meant what I said about you."

"That we had no business being in a relationship?" Jane remarked.

"That I actually liked you. You are cool. But..."

"You're still upset about me blowing you off." Jane admitted. In truth, she realized she had no one to blame for her relationship being over but herself. As few interests as she and Tom shared, he did make an effort. He did go see Screecher II with her.

"Yeah." Tom admitted. "You blew me off. For Finn." Tom's voice trailed off rather sadly.

"Hey, Jane, have you ever..." Tom started.

"No." Jane answered quickly. "Finn and I have never even kissed." Finn had said much the same thing.

"Tom..." Jane trailed off. What was she about to say now?

"Look, I admit, kissing Daria was pretty tactless."

"That's for damn sure." Jane was not accusatory in her tone, although she did seem very upset. About the breakup? Or about the kiss?

"We had a good run, and I had some fun. But really, it's time to move on." Tom remarked.

"Yeah. I guess I was just too scared to admit it." Jane answered. "But you know, someone's going to have to tell Finn about this." Tom's eyed widened a bit as Jane revealed this.

"Tell Finn I kissed Daria? I assume that means you want me to do it."

"If I need to, I will. But he should hear it from you." Jane remarked.

"You know that it's quite possible Finn could deliver his response to the bridge of my nose."

"Give him credit, he won't do that." Jane answered. There was silence between the two.

"And...enjoy yourself dating Daria." Jane commented somewhat sourly.

"I never said I was going to date her. She doesn't like to date, and she is Finn's sister. That would be rather awkward considering he despises her."

"You think this is bad? You should have seen them when they first moved here."

"Finn's never mentioned that to me." Tom remarked.

"I doubt he'd talk about it."

"So, Jane, I might as well ask? You do or don't hate me?"

"I'm mighty pissed off, to tell the truth. But mostly I'm just depressed. I don't hate you. I think."

"Depressed?"

"For a lot of reasons. Nothing I'm getting into. It's not like I can call you out for cheating."

"What happens now?" Jane asked after a long moment of silence.

"I wish I knew. God, I should have never kissed her."

"You know, I thought hearing that would make me feel better. It doesn't." Jane remarked. She stood up.

"I'm going to head home. I want to lay down. You should think about heading over to Finn's."

"He's got practice." Tom noted. "And I need to pick up a mouth-guard."

* * *

It cost Daria several dollars and some time to get a bus downtown. She left school not long after Jane did, the first time she had ever cut school. Would the class even notice she was gone?

Daria made her way to her mother's law firm. She had been there only three times before. She knew where the office was, but never associated with anyone there. Once inside the firm, she signed in with the receptionist, and then walked towards her mother's office. As she neared the door, Daria heard her mother ranting about her e-mail address, office stationary, and other random diatribes. The door was slightly open, and when Daria peaked, she saw there was no one in her office at all. She was talking to the space.

Daria opened the door. Her mother responded to the creaks. Her face was flushed and she looked about ready to shout at the interruption. However, her mother's voice faltered and she remarked with surprise.

"Daria?" Helen remarked. She immediately shut the door.

"What brings you here?" She asked.

"I need to talk to you." Daria's voice sounded so small it almost sounded like a plea. She never did that. She always stood up and stood strong.

Helen immediately took her daughter to a nearby restaurant called the Settlement. An appropriate name, given it's proximity to four legal offices and the courthouse. Most of their clients were lawyers.

Daria had just finished telling her the story of what happened. How Tom and Jane had broken up, and she had made out with him in his car.

"Daria, I can't say this is a situation that's pleasant to be in. In many ways."

"Thanks for that." Daria sighed.

"Daria, I'm not trying to insult you. This is not pleasant for anyone involved, least of all Jane."

"Jane?"

"Dumped by Tom for you?" Helen posed. "It's not a happy place for her."

"But Jane..."

"Listen, Daria, I can't comment on what Jane did or didn't do, but even if she did treated Tom in such a way, that doesn't make her a villain."

"I know that." Daria snapped.

"Daria, no one hear tried to hurt anyone. Jane wasn't meaning to hurt Tom, Tom wasn't kissing you for revenge, and you weren't trying to hurt Jane." Helen reassured. "No two sets of friends ever don't get on each others nerves."

"Jane and I only got on each other's nerves when Finn came into the picture."

"Daria, you disagreed with Jane about Tom. It wouldn't have mattered if it was Finn or whoever." Helen corrected. "Other people will never always agree with you."

"That's pretty lame."

"It's life, Daria." Helen answered. "And it's human nature. In all it's crazy, beautiful glory. The point is, you should really think about what you want to do with both of them. Consider both of their feelings, things will work out."

"Isn't that the pallatives people say when they get terminal cancer?"

"You wanted honest parental advice, didn't you? I say that because you won't accept anything else. Daria, you can't live an isolated life forever. I don't know how things will work out, but they will if you work hard enough at it." There was no talking for a moment as the two ordered. Helen saw no point in criticizing her daughter for clearly skipping school. This could be dealt with another time.

But another thought came to Helen's mind. She had talked to Daria about Jane, Tom, and herself. But there was one other person who would be affected by this. Finn. Tom's best friend, Jane's friend, Daria's eternal nemesis. He was bound to find out about this sooner or later. And he would react explosively. Helen may not have understood much about her son, but she understood that.

But what, exactly could she say to him. He never listened when he was mad to anyone, and she had a hard enough time talking to him at it was. He was always on the offense when it came to Daria, and anything remotely supportive was supporting her, and not supporting him. It was always good or evil with him. And Helen knew that neither word was accurate here.

* * *

"_What a great practice!_" Finn thought. It was truly a great segue into his upcoming birthday in a few days. This Saturday, he would turn sixteen. And things would be great. People would come out, presents would be had, everyone would enjoy themselves and be merry. Truly, that was all Finn wanted the most on this birthday. The happiness of his closest friends.

Finn was laughing as he took a shower, then headed back to his room. He needed to finish this bogus schoolwork now so that it didn't need to be done later. But that would wait, for there was a knock at the front door. Finn descended the stairs and opened the door to find Tom.

"Hey!" Finn cheered warmly. He hadn't seen Tom in a while, and it was always nice to see him alone. Tom and Jane, much as Finn hated to admit it, were under a lot of strain in the dating department. Finn had seen enough dating to know this was true.

"Can I come in?" Tom asked. He didn't respond to Finn's greeting, which was weird. He was also very serious. While Tom, as a whole, was more serious than Finn was, to be so straight-laced was odd.

"Of course, buddy." Finn escorted the man to his room.

"Is something wrong?" Finn asked innocently.

"Jane and I are over." Tom remarked. Finn's eyes widened. While, in truth, this was something he expected, he still felt bad. Finn invited Tom to take a seat. He didn't.

"Buddy..." Finn started.

"That's not what I came here to tell you." Tom interrupted. Finn's eyes widened even further. He just revealed he broke up, and that wasn't the reason he stopped by? Something even worse happened?

"What? " Finn asked, although in truth, he was a little scared to hear it.

"I came over here to talk to you about it. And...I...kissed your sister." Tom got out slowly. The gears in Finn's head shuddered to a halt.

"Why?" Finn asked. Tom didn't answer.

"You...broke up with Jane...for Daria?" Finn processed the thought. By the expression on his face, he considered the concept heresy.

"No. I didn't break up with Jane to get with Daria..." Tom started. Finn, however, was having a very difficult time thinking. His entire body was quaking in anger. His face darkened with rage.

"It's all my fault." Tom started. Finn didn't answer.

"I know you're angry."

"Damn straight!" Finn remarked. "You break up with Jane and two seconds later you're with Daria? I mean, tact aside, it's freaking Daria! I mean, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm not proud of what happened." Tom returned.

"Okay, you and Jane called it quits. No big deal. But seriously, Daria? Please tell me you were just experimenting or you were drunk or something remotely feasible. You can't...actually..."

"I haven't decided on what I want to do." Tom answered.

"I could understand if you kissed Stacy or someone." Finn rattled off a name Tom didn't recognize. "But Daria? The single most despicable human being in existence? Worse than Sandi and Tiffany put together? The bitch who says the time I had to get stitches was the happiest moment of her life?"

"Finn, I..." Tom started.

"Get out!" Finn ordered.

"Finn!" Tom protested.

"Tom, I am fighting every urge in my body to flatten the living hell out of you."

"Finn, I still want..."

"To be friends?" Finn interrupted. "We were friends. I looked up to you! I thought you were cool, and you were closer to me than anyone! You were the big brother I always wanted! Now I can't even look you in the eye. Get out of my house!" Tom saw the futility in trying further, at least for the moment.

"Goodbye." Tom said sadly as he walked out the door. As he exited the house, Tom sat quietly in his car, and realized what he regretted the most about kissing Daria.

Finn did not stay still long after Tom left. He was antsy, and he knew what he needed to do, he just couldn't do it yet.

He had to wait. Wait until Daria came home, wait until she was alone. Not as hard as he thought. A last-minute conference had come up for their father, and he'd be out of town for the next few days. And Mom was at work. Still there.

Daria arrived home a minute later. He waited until she got into her room, and then he exited his own room, and knocked on her door.

She answered a moment later. And Finn cursed her with all the effort he could put into his voice

"Whore!"

* * *

Daria did not respond to Finn's accusation.

"You back-stabbing bitch! I should have known you'd pull something like this!" Finn shouted.

"Get the hell out of my face!" Daria returned.

"Nothing to say?"

"Not to you. I don't need to justify myself to you."

"Please. You kiss my best friend..."

"He kissed me. I'll emphasize that for you." Daria answered.

"Oh, and I suppose it was one-sided, was it?" Finn returned. He didn't care who initiated. If she was telling the truth, she certainly reciprocated.

"No, it wasn't." Daria admitted. "What the hell do you care."

"Daria, Tom is my friend. All this bitching from you about how I'm going to steal Jane from you, and look what happens. You lock lips with Tom! My best friend!"

"This isn't about you, asshole." Daria challenged. "Who I kiss is my business, not yours."

"You do not kiss my friends. You do not stab my friends in the back."

"I've already spoken to Jane. You're not part of it."

"Like hell I'm not part of it! You kiss my best friend the second he breaks up with your best friend. Jesus, Daria, I used to wonder how you could never have friends. And now I know. You're the single worst person in existence!"

"Your insults don't mean anything to me. I'm not here for your approval."

"This isn't about approval, bitch."

"Finn, I could be Mother Theresa and you'd still blast me."

"Some morals." Finn remarked. "You walk around like you're so great, and you're so moral, and everyone else, like me, is so beneath you. No one can ever tell you you're wrong, cause you're so smart." Finn's sarcasm got stronger and stronger as he continued.

"And when you pull something that's a hundred times worse, all of a sudden, you don't have to listen when people tell you you're wrong. You don't have to explain yourself."

"I don't have to explain myself to someone like you." Daria accused. "You pulled crap like this all the time."

"I never, not even once, stabbed a friend in the back like that. I never did something so cruel to Jane. But you don't make mistakes, do you? I guess it helps when you have no one around to criticize you. Go live in your cell. The world is a lot better without you in it!" Finn stormed off, and into his room. The door clicked a second later.

* * *

"_Asshole_." Daria thought. She was certain Finn was seething in his room. Daria returned to her room. Finn's words cut into her more than she'd admit, and certainly not to Finn, who never had the right to criticize her after all the hell he put her through their whole lives.

She was not a whore. Tom and Jane were broken up. While she did feel bad about Jane, particularly after she had spoken to her mother, Finn still had no right to criticize.

"_He's just an asshole_." Daria dismissed. He'd criticize her anytime, anyplace. Finn was a creature without any ethics.

"_But you don't believe that_." Daria criticized herself. Jane, of all people, proved to her that this wasn't the case. After all, Jane still hung around Finn, and she wouldn't if he was a jerk. Looks aside, Jane wouldn't be distracted as long as this was.

And Finn did have his own ethics. He did that thing in Fremont, after all to get Jane's money back. He had made two hundred and fifty extra after Jane's money was returned, and Daria's own morals wouldn't allow her to keep it. She didn't earn it.

"_So much for me not having morals_." Daria criticized. She had morals. And she supposed he had morals too.

"_I'm still better_." Daria thought. What she did here was wrong, but she would make things better on her terms. She needed to be a good friend to Jane for Jane's sake. Not for Finn's.

"_Where does that leave Tom_?" Daria lay back in her bed, lost in thought.

* * *

When Helen arrived home, the entire house was quiet. Jake had called her about a marketing conference, but the children should have been home.

Helen wondered if Finn knew yet what had happened with Daria. Daria certainly would not tell him herself, but he was friends with both Jane and Tom. One of them might have told him.

Helen hoped that, if he did find out, he did not confront Daria with things. Neither of those two would back down from each other or admit they were wrong.

She knocked on Finn's door. His muffled response told her to come in.

Finn was seated at his desk, looking very frustrated. Helen was willing to believe it wasn't about the work he was doing.

"Good evening, Finn." Helen started calmly.

"Hello." Finn's response was casual.

"How was your day?" Helen asked.

"I just found out Tom and Jane broke up." Finn remarked. Daria had mentioned that, but did Finn know the rest.

"That's awful." Helen remarked.

"That's not the best part." Finn returned, and Helen knew the rest of it.

"I know about that." Helen stopped Finn from ranting. "Daria came to me this afternoon."

"Fantastic." Finn remarked, and Helen was worried he would get angry before she said anything. But he was silent.

"It's not a great situation to be in." Helen noted. Finn, again, had no reply. Helen was nervous.

"Have you spoken to Jane?" Helen asked.

"Huh? No. I tried to but she wasn't home." Finn answered.

"So Tom was the one that told you?" Helen continued. Finn nodded.

"I take it things did not go well between you two?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Finn, you know, we all make mistakes." Helen sat down on the bed. "I don't think Tom meant to hurt Jane with what he did." The words seemed to register, but this wasn't dealing with Daria yet. Helen wondered if maybe she should let him simmer for a few days first, but one look in her son's confused, frustrated, and angry face told her otherwise.

"And what about Daria?" Helen asked. Finn made only a low guttural growl.

"I certainly can't approve of what happened." Helen started.

"That's for damn sure." Finn spat out. "I mean, seriously, that..." Finn was probably going to use stronger language, but he stopped himself.

"But Finn, what I said is true for everyone. No one here is the villain. And that includes Daria."

"What!" Finn was incredulous. "How can she not be? She stabs her best friend in the back."

"A stupid move. Not an evil one." Helen clarified. "You know, Finn, she does feel bad about this."

"No she doesn't, she's all on her moral high horse saying she doesn't need to justify herself."

"Finn, Daria..." Helen started.

"You're on her side." Finn accused coldly, his eyes widening.

"This isn't a matter of sides, Finn." Helen started.

"I knew it. She stabs Jane in the back, and you're okay with it!"

"Finn, would me going into Daria's room and yelling at her make you feel better?" Helen asked rhetorically.

"How about not justifying everything she does. It's bad enough she thinks she's so great. You're always there feeding into it, with your whole "world is against smart girls like her" bull crap."

"I'm not justifying it. I'm just saying that it's not black and white. Daria is not just the villain here."

"Sure she is! She doesn't feel bad. Daria never feels bad. And you're not about to let her. Go coddle her and tell her she's so wonderful and turn me into the bad guy. What else is new." Finn turned around at his desk, ignoring his mother. Helen felt defeated.

"Dammit! I knew this would happen, and I did it anyway." She lamented. But she wasn't going to leave the room. She took a deep breath.

"Finn." She started.

"What?" Finn didn't look at his mother.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Well, let's see, my sister proved she's more of a selfish bitch than ever before, a good friend of mine is hurting so bad and I can't reach out to her, and I may have lost the best friend I ever had. All in all, I'm freaking peachy!" Finn snapped at her.

"Can I help you, Finn?" Helen asked earnestly. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"No." Finn replied after a period of silence. "You've done enough."

"Finn." Helen insisted.

"What?"

"I'm not on Daria's side."

"Coulda fooled me." Finn replied briefly.

"I'm not." Helen insisted. "Daria's attitude about the whole matter is certainly a problem. I am going to be having a word with her about it."

"Well jeez, if you wanted to blow up her bubble, you should have just said so from the beginning. I would have lent you a grenade."

"But Finn, you should really think more on what happened. This isn't just Daria's fault." Helen delivered her words of wisdom, and headed down the hall towards Daria's room. Finn decided against listening in. If Helen was telling the truth, then Daria would feel bad about what she did, and that was good enough. If she wasn't, Finn didn't need anymore heartache.

* * *

The next two days felt almost zombie-like for Finn. He barely ate, slept even less. Jane did not respond to his calls, nor did she come over. Tom too, was nowhere to be found, although Finn didn't call him. At least he wasn't around with Daria. What that meant, Finn did not know.

He didn't go on any dates, refused to go out with his buddies. He could barely muster the effort to work out. He could only do something stressful to take his mind off of things, lifting really heavy weights. Finn didn't like that: he preferred to have his body perfectly toned and sculpted rather than just add mass.

The entire house was empty one night as Finn sat at the table, drinking coffee that he was Irishing up. He wasn't expecting anything when he heard a knock at the door. Finn opened the door to discover someone he wasn't expecting: Trent.

"Hey, Trent." Finn remarked. He had spent very little time with Trent. Finn knew nothing about music to offer suggestions about Mystik Spiral, the only thing Trent really got into. And Trent cared about football less than Jane did.

"Hey man." Trent remarked calmly.

"If you're looking for Daria, she's not here." Finn answered.

"I wasn't looking for Daria." Trent answered. "I was just walking back from practice."

"You don't have your guitar." Finn remarked.

"They put everything in the Tank. I wasn't going to ride in there because Jessie hasn't taken a bath in two weeks." Trent sniffed the air. "Hey, is that coffee?"

"With an extra Bailey's boost." Finn remarked.

"Cool. Can I scam a mug?" Trent asked.

"I...I guess." Finn remarked. This was almost as weird as Daria kissing Tom. Most of the dialogue Finn and Tom exchanged regarded female anatomy. Finn escorted Trent into the kitchen and got out a mug.

"You want normal coffee or Irish Coffee?" Finn offered.

"Just regular, thanks. It's not decaf, is it?"

"No."

"Good. Decaf coffee is so pointless." Trent sipped his coffee.

"You heard about Janey and Tom, right?" Trent asked.

"Yeah, and the after-effects." Finn commented sourly.

"Was that you whose been calling the house?" Trent asked.

"Well, I have been calling. Don't know if they were all me. You didn't answer?"

"I never get to the phone fast enough." Trent commented, and Finn laughed inside, for he knew it was true. Trent was actually cheering him up.

"I'm surprised you're not mad at Tom."

"I don't get mad." Trent answered. "It's not good for my music. But I guess it had to happen. Janey kept blowing Tom off. To hang with you."

"I never asked her to do that." Finn protested.

"I never said that." Trent took a long sip of his coffee, and Finn felt his heart lurch in his chest.

"But it still happened. No one stopped it." Trent finished. Finn thought of a knee-jerk protest, but such things never worked on Trent. Finn's own throat started to get tight, and he nearly choked on his coffee.

"I need to get going. If you want to see Janey, just use that door that doesn't lock right. She's around. Not tonight." Trent stood up and slaggered out the door. Finn let him out. Once he was gone, Finn started to feel tired, so he headed upstairs, undressed, and lay in bed. He still couldn't sleep, but he wasn't thinking about Daria and Tom's kiss.

"_I never did stop Jane from going with me when she blew off Tom_." Finn admitted painfully to himself.

"It would have been so easy to say go with Tom. She insisted and I said yes. Finn, what the hell is wrong with you." Finn thought as his eyes started to mist up. He fell asleep believing that Tom dumped Jane because of him.


	32. It Happened One Summer

Finn smiled for all his friends the day he turned sixteen, but in truth, he didn't feel like smiling. It had only been a few days since the whole Tom incident, and the school year couldn't end soon enough. Finn was happy that his birthday came so close to the end of the year, but that was all he could find to smile about at Pizza Palace, surrounded by his football buddies, Stacy, and other close acquaintances. Finn couldn't even get pleasure opening his gifts, even though they were things he wanted from people he cared about.

But Finn knew how to smile, and laugh, and put on one hell of a show. He'd been doing it for years with his mother. He had years of practice. He said the right things, smiled appropriately. All the while feeling like he was going to throw up.

Ever since Trent had talked to Finn, he had spent his entire life disjointed. In truth, Finn knew that Trent was not trying to be cruel to him. Trent deemed it necessary to tell him what he told him, and, in truth, Finn couldn't really blame him. While Finn was completely innocent in the matter of Daria and her backstabbing, he was not innocent in the part of Jane and Tom's breakup. He did allow Jane to blow Tom off like that. And, dialogue between Finn and Jane was anything if not charged. They teased each other constantly, even when Tom was around.

"_Stupid, stupid thing to do."_ Finn cursed himself. He couldn't help but feel he let Tom down. While Finn certainly couldn't excuse making out with Daria, the breakup was a different event with different circumstances.

"_It's all my fault."_ Finn sighed as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake.

* * *

Stacy offered to go out with Finn on a personal birthday date after the party, but Finn declined. Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey offered to party until the sun came up, but again, Finn declined. He was in a horrible mood, and, after what Trent said to him, he was deathly afraid to talk to Jane. Did she feel the same way? Was she angry at Finn for causing these problems. Jane was responsible for her own mess, but that didn't mean Finn was making things easy for her. She hadn't been returning his calls. True, Jane would probably not come to the house to avoid Daria, but to not stop him? To not show up the party?

Neither Tom nor Jane had made their presence known at the birthday party. Finn didn't uninvite them: There'd be no reason to do so to Jane anyway. It could only be because Jane hated Finn for his own actions.

And that depressed Finn even more as he went home. He collapsed on his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He lay there, looking at the closet, for what felt like an eternity.

There was a knock at his door, and Finn wondered whether it was his mother.

"Door's open." Finn sat up to put forth another round of perfect smiles for his mother. The door pushed open, and in the doorway was Tom. Finn was a little surprised. He took the initiative to come here? Ballsy move, to tell the truth. Finn was slightly impressed.

"I think you're in the wrong room." Finn commented. "Daria's room is down the hall. So is the pisser."

"I came here to give you your birthday present." Tom's voice was not defensive. He was holding a rectangular package wrapped in paper with a bow. It could only be a book.

"Oh." Finn was surprised only at first. It had only been a week since he and Tom fought. Of course Tom had done his shopping before then. But Tom still wished to give it to him?

Finn stood up and walked over to Tom, taking the package from his hand.

"You don't look well. Eat too much?" Tom asked.

"I'm fine." Finn shrugged. Tom didn't answer, but from the look on his face, Finn knew that his lie was not believed.

"You wanna maybe..."

"Tom, aren't you here for Daria?" Finn interrupted Tom.

"I hadn't made plans today. I was supposed to come to your birthday party."

"You didn't, though."

"And cause a scene?" Tom remarked. Finn silently acknowledged Tom's valid point, Who knew how Finn would have reacted in front of everyone. Finn didn't know if the rumor of Jane's breakup and Daria's make-out session circulated. The two girls weren't popular, and those stories tended to elude him.

There was silence between the two men. Tom did not answer Finn's question about Daria. Were the two dating? Finn had been throwing himself too much into busy activities to notice.

"So aren't you and Daria going on a date?" Finn asked. "She's in her room. I'm sure she'd love to see you. Or she'd hate to see you around me."

"Finn, I already admitted I screwed up. What more do you want?" Tom asked.

"I don't know." Finn returned. "It's just...did you become my friend just to get close to Daria?"

"Finn, are you completely insane?" Tom asked incredulously.

"Just incredibly stupid." Finn noted.

"You're not stupid." Tom remarked.

"You don't need to play dumb. I know you hate me for breaking you two up." Finn silently condemned himself.

"No. Finn." Tom answered his question. "I did not get close to you just to get to Daria. The worst thing about this whole affair I did was hurt you in the process."

"So, you're not dating Daria?" Finn asked.

"I don't know." Tom answered.

"Hmmm..."

"Finn, you know we still made plans to go camping after school ends. They're still good."

"I can't." Finn answered, truly a painful admission. "I can't do it. It's too weird."

"Okay. See you." Tom was dejected as he exited Finn's room. Finn sat on his bed for a moment before realizing he hadn't opened Tom's present yet. He didn't want to at first, but he sat at his desk and carefully tore the paper.

The present was a book on each Super Bowl played, from the very beginning. There was some pictures of the half-time shows, but mostly the book was a play-by-play. It detailed effective strategies and tactics. It was a very detailed and impressive book, and truly, it was something Finn could use.

It was just like Tom, to get a gift like that. And now he was gone, and Finn couldn't thank him. He cursed his own cowardice.

* * *

When the last day of school arrived, Mr. O'Neill was handing back the results of the PSTAT. With all that had gone on, Finn had forgotten he took that early in the spring.

"I've got 890," Jamie read his results.

"940." Jeffy answered.

"Dammit, 915." Joey continued. Finn looked at his results. 975. He and the guys had all done like that.

"Dude, you think these will be enough to get us in to Keystone State?" Joey asked. Finn thought for a minute. Keystone State was the dream of dreams as far as colleges went. It had the best college ball team in perhaps the whole country, and many of it's best players were drafted into the NFL. And it's party scene, according to rumors, wasn't bad at all.

"Well, I'll ask O'Neill after class ends." Finn noted, but his thoughts quickly dwelled on earlier events. Once class ended, though, he walked over to Mr. O'Neill.

"Hey, Mr. O'Neill?" Finn asked. "Can I ask you a college question?"

"Of course, Finn!" Mr. O'Neill's enthusiasm was adding to Finn's knotting stomach. "What college were you looking at?"

"Keystone State."

"Oh." Mr. O'Neill seemed disappointed. "I would have thought someone of your natural...anyway, Keystone State University. It's known for it's football team. I'm sure you can bring the Lawndale..."

"Can I get into the college with a 975?" Finn interrupted forcefully.

"Oh, your scores were..." Mr. O'Neill seemed disappointed, but looked in his book.

"Unfortunately, Finn, you need to have a B average and a score of at least a thousand and fifty."

"Dammit!" Finn exclaimed.

"Finn, that's a very close score..." Mr. O'Neill started.

"Close isn't good enough!" Finn remarked sharply. O'Neill eeped in terror.

" I gotta get to class." Finn remarked quickly.

Now Finn had more problems to worry about. But this one Finn could figure out right now. How to get his grades up a bit to get into the football dynasty school.

Asking a teacher would be the best bet, but the only teacher Finn could think of asking was Anthony DiMartino. Finn had respect for the man's desire to teach, and history was the only class Finn put forth effort in, as a courtesy to the man.

"Mr. D?" Finn posed when the bell rang and the students were gone.

"Yes?" The teacher responded.

"How can I get my grades and PSTAT's up?" Finn asked.

"It's the last day of school, son." Mr. DiMartino noted. "It's a little late for that."

"I mean for next year. I mean I heard this thing that colleges and stuff look at the junior year the most."

"They do." DiMartino replied. "Well, aside from the obvious parts of studying and applying yourself in all of your classes..."

"Even Barch?" Finn asked.

"That castrating she-bitch still can't fight the numbers." DiMartino remarked.

"You know, my mom said she wanted to get Barch fired."

"She won't do it talking about it. Anyway, back to more realistic concerns. Perhaps you should consider the heretical thought of hiring a tutor."

"A tutor?" Finn didn't entertain that possibility. A tutor created problems on many scales in the social dynamics. But during the summer, they wouldn't see it. Finn would only be seen on dates. And tutors didn't come on dates.

"But still, if I'm seen. This was so much easier when Tom was helping me. But that's not possible now." Finn thought sadly.

"Thanks, Mr. D." Finn remarked.

"Do consider that carefully." Mr. DiMartino called as Finn left the class.

* * *

Finn walked down the hall lost in thought. Perhaps a tutor would be the best bet. Mr. D wouldn't tell him that just to screw with him, would he? Mr. D, frantic attitude aside, liked it when people did well in class.

He was so lost in thought he didn't even realize that someone was tailing him, and didn't even recognize it further until the figure tugged on his arm. Finn span around to see the person he had been scared of, yet desperately seeking, for an entire week.

"Finn, I've been looking for you." Jane looked very tired, but she managed a smile when their eyes locked.

"Finn!" Jane called. Finn quaked in his sneakers. She was speaking to him? What did this mean.

"Hello." Finn's voice cracked a bit.

"I wanted to say I felt like an ass for not showing up at your birthday. I just had a lot of stuff on my mind." Jane answered. Her bluntness calmed Finn down just a little bit.

"Oh, well, if you weren't feeling up to it, I certainly wasn't going to force you to come." Finn answered.

"I wanted to paint you something, but everything I painted ended up being too depressing even for me." Jane remarked.

"Jane, you've painted pictures of people drowning in tidal waves." Finn pointed out.

"That's what I said." Jane remarked. "I was going to tell you that I got accepted to an art colony's summer program. I leave this weekend."

"Trent's going to be all right by himself?" Finn asked.

"You'd be surprised what you can scrounge if you're that hungry. Still, I'll consider vaccinations before I go home." There was silence between the two of them.

"How's Tom?" Jane asked.

"We've barely spoken. I saw him on my birthday and that was it. He and Daria...well, I don't know what they're doing."

"You've been avoiding Daria?" Jane asked.

"Haven't you?"

"Not as completely as you. She's been following me around."

"Little bitch." Finn spat out. To his surprise, Jane did not chastise his language. It was rare, if ever, when he spoke of Daria to Jane, as he knew it would make her uncomfortable.

"I'm looking forward to the art colony. Two months doing nothing but living my dream."

"Crammed into a wooden cabin with people who have poor hygiene. Aren't these camps just, like, sex ed?"

"Jealous, Finn?" Jane teased, and Finn found himself uncomfortable. This was that flirting that drove Tom to Daria. The body language, the suggestive words. All of it was there. And Finn realized he had not spoken to Jane about the breakup. But she did ask him about Tom. What did that mean?

"Well, I'm glad you're doing something you're enjoying." Finn replied earnestly. "I like seeing you happy."

"I should call in favors from my mom's commune friends more often. Here." Jane handed Finn a folded piece of paper.

"I wrote down the address of the place." Jane explained. "So, if you want, you can come for a visit. I can always use a visit from a friend."

"I'll keep that in mind. But I've got summer plans too. I'm thinking of, well, a tutor."

"A tutor?" Jane remarked with disbelief.

"Keep it down!" Finn hushed her. "If this got out..."

"Sorry." Jane apologized. "Well, if you want one, go for it. What brought this about?"

"College. They look at the junior year, supposedly."

"Wish I had known that." Jane remarked.

"What college are you looking at?"

"Art schools." Jane answered. "Hopefully I can get some good stuff here."

"Jane Lane, ambition?" Finn teased.

"Drop it." She replied in a low, but playful voice.

"_And there's that flirting again_." Finn thought.

* * *

"Hey, Finn!" A familiar voice called over to him. Finn turned around to see Mack walking over, Jodie in tow.

"Hey, dude, what's up?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"Yearbooks." Mack handed him two yearbooks, presumably his and Jodie's.

"No prob." Finn smiled. "What are you guys doing for the summer?" Finn asked pleasantly. Jodie rambled off a list of things as Finn worked on signing her yearbook. Volunteer work, two internships, golf lessons, and the list went on.

"That's a lot of ammo." Finn commented. "Golf lessons?"

"My parents are trying to get into Winged Tree Country Club." Jodie volunteered.

"Oh, I know that place, Tom's mom is on the board." Finn blurted out.

"Tom Sloane? Jane's boyfriend?" Jodie asked. Finn realized that Jodie wouldn't have known of the whole sordid affair. He kept his mouth shut about it.

"What about you, Mack?" Finn asked, desperate to change the topic.

"Driving an ice-cream truck?" Mack delivered flatly.

"Dude." Finn replied sympathetically. That had to be pretty humiliating.

"I owe my dad some money, so I'm paying him back."

"That shows some killer integrity, man." Finn praised.

"I am proud that you're doing that." Jodie agreed.

"Yo!" Familiar voices called over to Finn again. His buddies all came over, yearbooks in hand.

"I should have brought a table." Finn chuckled to himself.

"So, Finn, what are you planning this summer?" Mack asked.

"Not a whole lot." Finn answered. "Stay on my workout, ball with the guys. Get a tutor." Finn said in a hushed tone the last part of the sentence.

"Really?" Jamie remarked with as much disbelief as Jane.

"That's a good idea, Finn." Mack remarked.

"I know someone. Would you like me to give her your number?" Jodie asked.

"No thanks." Finn remarked. "I'll find one on my own. How hard could it be?" Finn remarked.

"Well, call me if you want to change it. Just leave a message if I don't answer." Jodie remarked.

The rest of the guys seemed to be puzzling what Finn had mentioned, and said nothing else.

"Well, I should get going. Enjoy yourselves, call me if you want to go out and have fun." Finn handed yearbooks back to their respective people, and darted off.

* * *

With court wrapping up much earlier than she thought, Helen headed home earlier than she usually would. In truth, she was glad for it. With what had been going on between her two children, she wanted to be around in case they needed her. She knew that Finn, for the longest time, had always felt isolated and apart from his mother, but the lesson she learned at the retreat wasn't to just spend time with Finn, but not to assume her position as mother granted her the unilateral love and respect from her children.

After her conversation with Finn, she had told Daria that both of her excuses were not very legitimate. Jane's treatment of Tom may truly have been deplorable, but that had nothing to do with Daria. And Finn, well, there was even less excuse there. Daria was always too willing to blame Finn for her problems.

When Helen arrived home, she found Finn in the kitchen, looking through the phone book.

"Good afternoon, Finn." Helen greeted warmly.

"Hi." Finn did not look up from the phone book. He appeared to be frustrated, so he clearly wasn't finding what he was looking for.

"Finn, what are you looking for?" Helen asked pleasantly. Helen did want to ask her children what their plans were for the summer. There was no way they were going to sit around and do nothing.

"I'm looking for a tutor. I can't find any in here!" Finn commented.

"A tutor?" Helen remarked. Of all the things she expected her son to say, that was not one of them.

"Oh!" Finn looked just as surprised as Helen was.

"Finn, that's a wonderful idea."

"Thanks." Finn replied sourly.

"What's so bad about it?" Helen asked. Finn didn't answer.

"I'm just doing this to get me into Keystone State. This isn't about becoming a brain. I'm not turning into Daria." Finn answered. Keystone State was a school that Helen knew. It was about it's football team, first and foremost. Finn could get a decent job there, but it wasn't a school like Crestmoore or Bromwell. It was better than Middletown, but not by much.

Helen thought of lecturing her son about getting a better school, but let it slide for now. Let him get the tutor first and get his grades up. Better grades meant more options would be feasible, and it would be more prudent to deal with it then.

"Why are you looking in the phone book for a tutor?" Helen asked.

"Where else would I look? It's not like I looked for a tutor before. If you want to find something, you look in the phone book."

"Finn, a tutor is not a pizza." Helen remarked. "Why don't you let me find one for you? Jasmine has been seeing a tutor, why don't see if he's available?"

"Well, alright." Finn sighed. "I need a nap." Finn shut the phone book and put it away. Helen didn't even have time to speak to him about Tom and Jane. Helen could feel his bleeding-raw bitterness over the whole ordeal, but there was something different in addition. Finn was really depressed over the whole ordeal, and Helen didn't know why. She did know that Finn would never answer her if she asked him about it. She had to figure out just what was wrong.

* * *

School ended on a Wednesday, so while the children were sleeping in, Helen was still headed to work bright and early. She didn't miss summer break, she was always so bored with it, but it must have been nice at that age.

Helen looked over a few depositions, but found her mind drifting back to her children. This whole kiss incident was pretty tough on them, and Helen worried she wasn't there for them as much as she could.

"_I suppose all parents feel this way_." Helen thought. A blessing and a curse.

Helen sighed as she picked up the depositions and started to head towards Eric's office. She had to pass through the reception area to reach it. Helen found that the receptionist was gone, and, waiting in the front office was a young girl.

She was slightly older than her children, maybe nineteen or twenty. Thin girl, rather pretty. She wore glasses and had long blonde hair. She looked at Helen, but did not speak. The expression on her face told Helen that the girl was expecting someone else.

"_Where did the receptionist go?_" Helen thought to herself.

"Have you been helped?" Helen asked pleasantly. No reason to ever show a client, even a young one, bad manners.

"I'm here for my uncle...sorry, I'm here for Gregory Riordan." The woman answered directly. Greg Riordan was a senior partner at the firm, and was probably even more capable than Eric was when it came to workplace issues such as discrimination. Every time someone didn't get a promotion, it always turned into a race or gender thing, and Greg stopped those predatory opportunists every time.

But Helen hadn't worked very much with him. Did he have a niece? He did have a younger brother with a family, but Greg had no children of his own.

"I don't know if he is in." Helen remarked. "Your name is?"

"Sierra." The girl answered. "Sierra Riordan."

"I'm Helen Morgendorffer." Helen dispensed pleasantly.

"Oh, I've heard your name from Uncle Greg. The new partner, right?"

"Newest. I've been partner for a few months now. I'm sorry I don't know more about you."

"It's okay." Sierra replied. "If you spoke to my uncle, he'd just tell you I play the violin. Never mind that I've been Dean's List four semesters straight and counting. He just loves that..."

"Dean's List?" Helen questioned. "That's quite impressive."

"Thanks." Sierra remarked.

"What brings you here?" Helen asked.

"I was hoping to get a summer job." Sierra answered. "College has been out for a month now and all the places around here do the whole minimum wage crap. I got books to buy."

"Hmmm..." Helen started to think. Sierra was certainly an outspoken woman, and Dean's List? She certainly was bright.

"What college are you in?" Helen asked.

"I go to Pacific, up in New York."

"That's a good school." Helen praised.

"I wanted Crestmoore, but they wait-listed me. I kept trying, but I think I'd like Pacific better."

"_And smart too._" Helen thought. She was going to talk to Eric about David Sorensen, the tutor that was working with Jasmine. But this pretty, smart girl? Finn would respond very well to such a tutor.

"You know, Sierra, my son is looking for a tutor, and you're a bright girl. How would you like to make some extra money."

"Money talks." Sierra remarked. "Tell me more."

* * *

Finn was seated at the table late that evening when the doorbell rang. He stood up to answer it. However, his parents were already seated in the living room, and they opened the door first. Tom was standing there.

"Hello, Tom." Helen engaged pleasantly. Finn ducked into the kitchen

"_Oh, God, don't let him be over here for me." _Finnthought. He had treated Tom so cruelly, both when he first found out about Daria, and during his birthday. While Finn was right to be furious at Tom for kissing Daria not an hour after dumping Jane, Finn knew he could no longer be innocent in the sordid affair. How could he look Tom in the eye after treating him so horribly?

But it seemed as though Tom was here for Daria. Were they actually dating? Finn didn't know if he should be angry about that or not. The two of them did make out. Why not go all the way.

The revelation of that really hit home for Finn. The Jane and Tom Romance Hour was over.

"_Over because of me." _Finn took in a deep breath to prevent himself from making noise and being discovered. But, Helen kept talking to Tom, and kept the conversation steered. Not for Finn's sake, she was just doing the mother thing that all parents did when their daughters went out dating. Not that Finn got any of that. Of course, he never brought his dates to the house on his own insistence, so he couldn't fault her.

Finn did not peek outside into the living room, but he heard Daria descend the stairs a moment later. There was some shuffling, and then the door shut. Daria and Tom would be gone. Finn walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Finn!" Jake said cheerfully. Finn, perhaps the first time in his life, did not acknowledge his father.

"Finn?" Jake called.

"Huh?" Finn shook his head. "Oh, sorry, Dad. I'm just a little sleepy. Turning in early." Finn bounded up the stairs to his room.

Helen sighed as she took a seat back down on the couch.

"Something wrong, honey?" Jake asked. As if he needed to, although Helen wondered if Jake, like most times, was truly oblivious as to what was happening in this house. He had a difficult enough time accepting the fact that Daria was dating Tom, someone he knew was Finn's friend. He didn't know anything of the intrigue behind it. And there was a lot of intrigue.

Finn would never have told his father. He would have preferred to suffer alone then ever let his father feel sad. Daria, certainly, wouldn't have mentioned it either. Helen wondered if this was going to be all up to her. Should she tell Jake about it? Would he just freak out? Helen's mind was torn in many different ways. Jake was a bungler and scared of stepping up, but he did surprise her when she least expected it. But ultimately, she decided not to at the moment. Time healed many wounds, or at least soothed them. Perhaps that was her own problem, she took charge at the first sign.

* * *

Daria went out with Tom to Pizza Palace, but it didn't take long for her to be accosted by people that she knew.

"Hey, Daria!" Kevin came over to greet her.

"Hi!" Brittany eagerly squeaked beside him. "Hi, Tom."

"Hi." Tom returned.

"Daria, why are you with Tom? Isn't he Jane's boyfriend."

"Jane is at an art camp." Daria remarked, a statement she quickly realized wasn't the best to say with those two idiots.

"So while Jane's away...Daria!" Brittany comments slyly, exactly what Daria realized a second after she said it.

"Brittany, I..." Daria started.

"Does Finn know? I mean, you and he are friends, aren't you?"

"Jane and I aren't dating anymore." Tom remarked.

"Oh." Kevin seemed to understand, and Daria was thankful that he didn't have the higher brain function to see past that one thought. It was one of the few things that was remotely tolerable.

"Daria, you vixen." Brittany, however, possessed the marginally more intellect to continue the thought. She wasn't criticizing her. In fact, Brittany seemed amused by her whole idea.

"Brittany, we just came back from Cashman's. They're having intermediate markdowns." Daria delivered a classic line she remembered Finn use to escape from the Fashion Club.

"What? But Cashman's closes in...Kevvy, we have to go!" And any thought about Tom and Jane were dispelled immediately.

"But babe..." Kevin was dragged off by his girlfriend straight out of the pizza parlor.

"That was effective." Tom remarked. "I wish there was a way to tailor that to family outings."

"I can think of a few things, but they're too tasteless even for me. Do this feel weird?" Daria asked.

"Does what feel weird?'

"Us. Going out."

"You mean dating?" Tom asked.

"You had to use foul language?"

"What's the big deal? I called you up, asked if you wanted to go for pizza, and you said yes. It's been four times since then."

"It's just weird, that's all." Daria remarked. Tom leaned over and kissed her.

"Did that help?"

"A little." Daria smiled. "But still, having people walk in that know who I am, and can see this..."

"Want to head to my parent's club? Who would know you there?" Tom offered. Daria sighed. While she was actually enjoying herself, part of her was two steps away from bolting out the door. And another was wondering if Finn was using this time to set a lethal trap in her room.

* * *

On Saturday, there was a knock at the door around lunchtime. Finn wasn't expecting anyone, but he went to the door anyway to answer it. Standing outside was someone Finn had never seen before. She was a rather pretty woman with blonde hair.

"Well, hello." Finn smiled at her.

"You must be Finn." The girl replied aloofly. "Is Helen Morgendorffer here?"

"Yeah. Come on in." Finn offered. Finn led the girl inside. As if responding to her name, Helen descended the stairs.

"Sierra!" Helen called warmly. "I'm so glad you found the house."

"Thank you, Mrs. Morgendorffer." This girl, Sierra, replied.

"Finn, this is Sierra Riordan. I hired her to be your tutor."

"Oh?" Finn's eyebrows raised. "Alright." The two young ones went into the kitchen while Helen excused herself.

"Why don't we start with English." Sierra offered.

"Ummm...okay. You're the tutor. Whatever you think is best."

"What books did you read this year?"

"Okay, let me think a minute. We did that one book about the guy who drove...Farewell to Arms, that was it."

"Ah, that one was wonderful." Sierra remarked. "The imagery of the priest, classic Hemingway."

"Um...I just remember the baby was dead at the end." Finn answered. Sierra frowned, and made a note in her book.

"Okay, so you've took European history last year, and American history is next year. I suppose we won't need to revisit the French Revolution."

"That was when they used the guillotine, right?

"Yes, but there's a lot more to the French Revolution than beheading." Sierra looked at Finn very curiously.

"Hey, I got the answer right."

"History's not just about right answers. And now, we move on to biology."

"Oh God, I'm really bad there."

"And what about economics."

"I'm okay there. I mean, I know how to spend money, and you buy things that are cheap and sell them when they're not." Finn answered cheerfully.

"_This is not going to be easy_." Sierra sighed to herself.

* * *

Finn started the lesson with cell biology. He hated this subject, and he didn't even see the point of studying during class. Barch would fail him anyway, so he reasoned.

"Now, there are four base pairs of DNA. Adenine will always pair with thymine, and cytosine will always pair with guanine." Sierra had already discussed cell structure, and was now moving on.

"Isn't DNA, like, the stuff that determines everything about a person?" Finn asked.

"It depends on the scientist you ask. Some might say all things can be determined by that. Others say it's only physical traits, and some more say it's a mix." Sierra answered.

"That's stupid." Finn remarked. "I choose who I want to date, some base pair thing doesn't do that."

"And whose to say such a defiant attitude isn't another base pair?" Sierra asked. Finn paused.

"Still, that's kind of lame. No decision making at all? Every bad choice you make is scripted?"

"We're starting to veer off topic. Let's stick to the actual physical DNA strand. Now, DNA's structure includes..." Sierra started. The lesson continued.

"Now, DNA's structure is called a double..."

"Are we still on DNA? It's been, like, an hour."

"This is one of the most important factors of life and evolution." Sierra replied. "It's not just a simple read. But we are out of time right now."

"It's been three hours already?" Finn asked. His brain hurt from all the learning.

"I'll see you next week." Sierra packed up her notebooks. "I've complied a list of things to work on by yourself. Do yourself a favor and do it. It'll make next week less stressful." And Sierra slung her backpack over her shoulder, and walked out the door.

Finn sat in the kitchen for a moment. His brain felt like it was on fire. This Sierra Riordan was a strange girl. She wasn't like the girls at Lawndale; she bucked him. The second he complained about something, she shut him up. She asked interesting questions.

Finn started to sweat a little, and get into the same nervous reaction he had around Jane.

"_To Sierra_?" Finn thought. This didn't make any sense. Sierra was an egghead, a brain. According to her, she made Dean's List, which was list the smart thing in college, Finn didn't know what it was.

Finn did not like brains. They were egotistical. They were stuck-up. They liked high-brow insults. They were Daria. Even Jodie Landon, another egghead, was, although more tolerable than Daria, was still very elitist in her own way.

Sierra was a bit different, although that may have been that Finn didn't care about her brains since he needed them for the tutoring. But that had nothing to do with attraction, did it?

But Finn's shallow breathing, sweaty palms, and hard-on told him otherwise.

* * *

Finn barely paid attention to the list of work Sierra had given him. He looked at it a little bit, just so he would know about it. But Finn spent his time practicing his pick-up lines. Sierra didn't mention a boyfriend, so there was no rule against flirting, testing the field.

Finn still found it a little odd that he was feeling Sierra like he did, but reason or not, Finn knew what he liked, and he liked Sierra. He did not like other brains, just her. She was attractive, not like other brains, but that couldn't have been it.

"_Or maybe it is. Who cares_." Finn thought. The work Sierra had assigned was random subjects. Study more on the structure of DNA, read Pride and Prejudice, which Finn put down after five pages, and some pages on the Reign of Terror. It sounded interesting at first, but it was all politics and nonsense. Finn could barely stomach it. Why was all this learning crap so boring? Football wasn't boring, and that took brains. Finn knew enough to know that.

But he found himself cheering up when he practiced his lines in the mirror. Perhaps he wasn't the brainiac, but he could learn enough to get to Keystone State.

"_Besides, there's things more important. Those who spend all their time learning about life miss the chance to make it on their own. Hey, that's pretty good, Finn_." Finn cheered himself as he practiced more smooth pick-up lines.

Sierra arrived on Saturday. She was always so prompt, and Finn liked that in a girlfriend. Girls who did the girl thing of running late never got second dates. It was a rule.

"Hey, there." Finn smiled warmly. He wore his tightest shirt and a pair of shorts that day, flaunting the best parts of his body while still being completely covered. A tactics that served him well.

"Good afternoon." Sierra looked directly at Finn's face, and did not acknowledge any other parts. "I hope that you have studied."

"Of course." Finn smiled. "Are you hungry or thirsty?'

"No, thanks." Sierra replied politely, but briefly. "I eat before I come."

"Still, try to be a good host." Finn chuckled a bit. His charms were working in overdrive, but Sierra seemed...aloof, and disinterested.

"_That couldn't be. Perhaps she's just doing the stupid hard-to-get thing girls think they can try and pull._" Finn reasoned.

"Shall we begin?" Sierra remarked. "We'll start with Pride and Prejudice."

"Ugh, that book was pretty lame. I could think of about three hundred more interesting things."

"I can't say I was a fan of it either, but it's a classic." Sierra, still the cold fish, replied. "But we still need to read it. You're studying British literature, and it's a staple."

"Staple of boring, maybe."

"England's not all Shakespeare."

"Even Shakespeare's dull." Finn moaned.

"It may be dull, but I was hired to teach these things to you."

"I'm sure there's more interesting stuff. And I'm sure you know them. Come on, let's learn about a more fun topic."

"Kid, why the hell are you wasting my time. I mean, I'm here for the money, what the hell do you want?' Sierra scowled at Finn.

"Aren't we supposed to learn stuff?" Finn asked.

"How do you propose to learn stuff when you give up after six seconds?" Sierra accused. "I mean, you treat everything here like it's some sort of game. This is your life. Not everything is sunshine and bunnies."

"I know that!" Finn protested.

"Kid, you're probably somewhat bright, but it really doesn't matter. You're acting like a hotshot, when you're about as interesting as a colony of mold on three-week old cheese."

"Hey!" Finn became irate at the insult. "I 'm the most popular kid in school."

"That's only because you're the quarterback and you're attractive. I admit it, you're one handsome man. But high school ends, and soon you'll be doing nothing with your life, drifting from boring, stupid jobs to make ends meet. Your looks, they aren't going to last. And recruiters aren't going to get you on your skill at football alone."

"But that's why I want to learn, so I can get into those schools."

"You only want to go to college so you can get into a good football school?" Sierra continued to criticize. "That is one of the stupidest reasons ever to go to college. Do you even want to learn?"

"I don't want to be a brain. Brains are elitist snobs."

"No, elitist snobs are elitist snobs. Some just use their brains to be elitist snobs. You don't need brains to have a crappy attitude. I should know, there's one right in front of me."

"Hey!" Finn was really angry now. He had never, not even once, ever been talked too like that by anyone. Except for Daria, of course, but she didn't count.

"Kid, quit wasting my time." Sierra started putting things away in her backpack. "There's no reason to stick around. Money isn't worth this."

"Hey, don't go, I need to learn stuff." Finn protested.

"You aren't going to learn anything if you only put forth the most minimal amount of effort."

"Sierra." Finn looked down at the table. "I did bad on my PSTAT's."

"I'm not surprised. So what?"

"So they're bad. I did the best of all my friends, but they were bad. But it's not like they were so bad that I can't get them up the extra few points."

"Banking on the minimum is not a good strategy." Sierra remarked. "But anyway, the only way your scores are going to get better is if you stop acting like such a whiny kid, buckle down, and apply yourself. Maybe it's not fun, but it's necessary. But you don't want that. Later." Sierra slung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Please stop." Finn called. Sierra paused, but said nothing.

"I...I do think I can do better." Finn stated. Sierra was still silent.

"I...I want to do better. I don't want to be like Daria, but I do want to do better." Sierra paused for a moment. Finn continued to look at the table. Finally, she put her backpack on the floor.

"Daria? I think I heard that name mentioned..." Sierra trailed off.

"She's my sister." Finn answered. "She's an egghead, and she's a bitch." There was silence for a moment.

"If I assign you Pride and Prejudice, would you read it this week?"

"Y...yeah." Finn sighed. "I wish it wasn't so awful, but I'll do it."

"Hmmm...don't read that one. Even I think that was cruel. But I will expect you to finish reading all the work on cell biology by next week."

"Yeah...all right."

"Then I'll see you next week. And wear something appropriate, for the love of God." Sierra instructed before leaving.

* * *

For the whole week, Finn sat upstairs at his desk, reading everything on Sierra's check-sheet. He focused on cell biology like she said, but he also did his history and trigonometry work. She was right; it wasn't easy. But Finn sat down and focused, even drawing the blinds so he wouldn't see what good football weather it was.

"_Okay, this stuff is starting to make more sense_." Finn thought by Tuesday. By Thursday, he really started to get it. It still wasn't interesting, by any means. But he could still comprehend it.

When Sierra came around the next Saturday, Finn tried to recall the things he had learned. He discussed with his tutor RNA synthesis, and while Sierra had to correct his pronunciation a few times, last week's unpleasantness was behind them.

Sierra also discussed American History with him, as that was what Finn would be taking in Mr. D's class.

"After the defeat of the Continental Army in New York forcing their retreat, General Washington devised a plan to raise American morale."

"That was when he crossed the Delaware River?" Finn asked.

"You did read. Yes, they crossed the treacherous, icy river in the middle of the night." Sierra remarked. Finn chuckled a little.

"And then they fought that battle on Christmas in...where was it...Trenton! The Battle of Trenton!"

"It was a decisive moral victory." Sierra added. "It helped bolster the number of re-enlistments."

"That's like football." Finn commented. "You don't do good if you think you're going to lose."

"You can think of it that way, if it helps. As long as you remember we're dealing with history and wars." Sierra affirmed. "Well, it seems as though you're applying yourself somewhat. But there's still a long way to go. You're going to have to work a lot harder."

"It's...it's okay." Finn smiled. But in truth, he was trying to hide the knot in his stomach.

After Sierra left, Finn calmed himself down. He really did try to apply himself with the studying thing, but every time things got quiet, he thought back to Daria and her kissing Tom, and losing his best friend.

It was driving him crazy. Finn was still scared to look Tom in the face, having ruined his relationship. And there was no way in hell Finn was talking to Daria about this. He had calmed down a bit over her being such a whore, but that didn't mean she was anything less than the immoral creature she was.

There was only other one person to talk to, and t hat was Jane. He dialed the art colony on the phone, and, to his surprise, Jane took him up on his offer to visit.

* * *

Finn planned for the visit to be on a Thursday. There were no classes to attend, but there were speakers and lecturers and whatever weird art stuff happened there. Jane informed him that it would be the best day.

Jake allowed his son to use the car, and when Thursday morning rolled around, Finn was off as soon as he woke up. He desperately needed to speak to her, scared as he was.

When he reached the colony, Jane greeted him warmly.

"It's been a month." Finn chuckled to Jane.

"But it's still good to see you." Jane remarked. There was very awkward silence, and Jane looked like she wanted to say something more.

"How's Daria?" Jane asked.

"Haven't talked to her, but I overheard Mom say she got a job at a summer camp for emotionally distraught kids taught by O'Neill."

"Did she attempt a bribe?"

"Mom's really weird about summer activities. I got away with it for tutoring, but Daria..."

"Tutoring?" Jane asked.

"Yeah." Finn admitted. "I did mention that, I think."

"Hey, you want to do it, go ahead." Jane remarked. Not exactly the advice Finn was hoping for on the matter.

"And how's Tom?" Jane asked.

"Haven't spoken to him, either." Finn answered. "He's still dating Daria, not that I know how it's going. Not that I care."

Jane, to Finn's surprise, did not seem angry about the whole matter. Or perhaps she was just better at hiding it.

"Come on, show me around." Finn offered.

"It's not as fun as you'd think." Jane replied.

"Still, give me the tour."

* * *

After a tour of the camp, which consisted of hot spots where Jane liked to create, the two found themselves on Jane's loft.

"Artists are weird folk. Present company exempt." Finn remarked once he was certain they were alone.

"I am weird, it's okay." Jane laughed.

"Seriously, if one more person asks me to pose nude for something, I'm going to light this place on fire."

"This place goes up in flames, or you drop your shorts. I can't see the bad side." Jane laughed again. The artist camp was much taken with Finn's good looks. Not that she blamed them. Artists had an observing eye, and liked beauty. And Finn was beautiful.

"Glad you're so amused. Painting and sculpting I can get, but I swear that last chick was just making stuff up." Finn sighed.

"No, that's real. It's called macrame. It's real art. It's textile making using knots, in a nutshell."

"Why the hell would I need to be naked for that?" Finn remarked.

"Inspiration. Comes in many forms."

"So anyway, how have you been. I wanted to ask you that question once we were alone." Finn asked politely.

"This camp sucks." Jane remarked. "Pretentious artists. But at least I did make a friend."

"Oh?"

"Her name's Allison. You'd like her, she's inspiring. She's making her way as a real artist."

"Maybe I'll meet her later. Oh my God, is it hot. Don't you artists believe in air conditioning?" Finn remarked as he adjusted the collar of his shirt.

"It's supposed to stoke the coals of the heat of inspiration." Jane remarked.

"What?"

"I was trying to sound like O'Neill. No, they're just too cheap to get AC."

"Jeez, I'm drowning in my own sweat." Finn remarked. "Jane, you mind if I..." He tugged on his shirt.

"Go ahead." Jane answered.

"Thanks." Finn pulled his shirt off and used it to wipe the sweat off his chest and underarms. He was right, he was sweating a lot.

"Anyway, you never told me about tutoring." Jane couldn't keep her eyes off Finn. True, whenever he was shirtless, her eyes tended to be locked, but now there was something else, something she couldn't put her finger on. Ever since shortly after her breakup with Tom, Finn had been very sad. What was it?

In truth, Jane wouldn't have minded if Finn and Tom stayed friends. Her breakup had nothing to do with them, and Tom and Finn had a good time around each other. Finn was a close friend and deserved happiness, and Jane, all things considered, couldn't really hate Tom that much.

"Anyway, Sierra's a good tutor. I think I'm learning stuff." Finn talked.

"Is she pretty?" Jane asked.

"I suppose." Finn affirmed. "Not like you, Jane." He flirted with her, as he always did.

Jane's mind started to race about Finn. He had truly been on her mind ever since the breakup. She knew Finn's flirty attitude was just who he was, but a part of her, a secret part of her that she shared with no one, wanted to believe the flirting was real. Finn was always so awkward when the two were alone, that was all it could be.

And after Tom, Jane had been so frustrated. She felt awful that she drove Tom away for constantly treating him like trash. Being dumped was not fun: It made Jane feel like less of a woman.

Finn continued to talk, but Jane's ears no longer functioned. She saw her chance, and she took it.

Finn had been discussing tutoring, just rambling off the details for Jane, when something unexpected happened. Jane grabbed Finn by the arms, leaned forward on top of him, and kissed him as hard as she could. He was so surprised he wouldn't have been able to stop her, even if he wanted to.

And he didn't want to.

* * *

Finn still wasn't exactly sure what happened after Jane broke off the kiss with him. His eyes widened, he was in complete shock. Did Jane Lane, Daria's best friend, recently dumped by Tom Sloane, just kiss him?

It was rare for girls to initiate kisses with Finn. He always had to take the lead. For a minute, there was absolutely no movement. Jane on top of Finn, his look of surprise, her nervous breathing.

"Oh God." Jane just realized what she had done. "I'm...I'm sorry." Finn was about to tell her a reassurance, but the words would not form in his throat. But Jane's distressed face hurt him greatly, and he knew how to make that stop. In one gracious move, he flipped himself and Jane, so that he was on top of her, and he kissed her. Hard, just as she did to him. Once Finn had to come up for air, Jane seemed a lot less distressed.

"I can't believe we just did that." Finn remarked. He looked around for his shirt, but it must have fallen to the floor, he couldn't see it.

"Yeah, I know." Jane remarked. "That's not like you." Finn didn't answer her.

"I should...probably get going." Finn returned. "It's getting kinda late, I need to get back. Long drive."

"Yeah, I shouldn't keep you." Jane admitted. Finn dug around for his shirt, and put it on. His entire body shook for a minute.

"It was...good to see you." Finn smiled. Jane could sense that he was nervous, but intimacy always did that to him.

"I know." Jane remarked. And then, Finn left. There were no more kisses. Finn knew where he had parked. There was silence just after Finn left. And once Jane was alone with her thoughts, she started to go back over the moments in her head.

But she didn't have a lot of time to do so, for shortly afterwards, Allison strode up the stairs.

"Hey." Allison remarked. "You all right? You look kinda starstruck."

"I just kissed my best friend's hot brother. Buy me dinner, I'll tell you all about it."

"Sure." Allison smiled.

* * *

Jane and Allison had pasta and wine. Pasta was one of Allison's favorite dishes: it was very filling, gave lots of energy, and it was cheap compared to most other foods. Jane had told her the entire story of what happened between Daria, Tom, Finn, and herself, from the breakup forward.

"Wow. No one can say you don't lack for excitement." Allison teased.

"Not helping." Jane remarked.

"Finn was the guy you were with at the camp today?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"He certainly was hot, I won't deny that." Allison chuckled. "I'd be doing more than making out."

"You wouldn't get very far. He's not into that sort of stuff."

"So why'd you kiss him? You weren't dating."

"I...I don't know. It's just been a long month. My boyfriend dumped me for my best friend, and, believe it or not, my boyfriend was Finn's best friend."

"I asked why you kissed him."

"It...it just sorta happened. We were up in my loft, and we were talking, then he took his shirt off, and I swear to God, there were rose petals streaming off him when he did it."

"You watch too many movies." Allison chuckled. "So you don't want to date him?"

"I don't know. First off, Daria would be furious, she and Finn hate each other. And Finn's got the entire school dancing for his favor. He could have any girl he wants."

"Didn't he come here to see you? Lawndale's kinda far from here." Allison asked. "If you ask me, he likes you. But if you're not interested in him..."

"I don't know. I mean, I really like him and he's a great guy, no matter what Daria says. But..."

"Your boyfriend dumped you, and you're worried that Finn's going to get hurt?" Allison filled in the blanks.

"Yeah."

"There's a lot of reasons you could be feeling that way is how I see it. Could be your best friend, could be you still care about your ex. Could be exactly what you described. Even others."

"Damn it, relationships are so complicated, and this so-called good artists around here aren't making things easier. At least I've got someone like you, Allison." Jane remarked pleasantly.

"Yeah." Allison lowered her voice and chuckled a bit. "You've got me."

* * *

Finn drove quietly home in his father's Lexus back to Lawndale. He was driving slower than he normally did, and he was grateful that the road to Lawndale was, although long, it was mostly striaght. He turned the radio off, and drove in silence. He had too much to think about to sing along.

He just kissed Jane. Jane may have done it first, but he didn't stop her when she did. And he kissed her back. Finn Morgendorffer, who prided himself in his integrity, made out with the ex his best friend had dumped.

"_Was this how you were feeling, Tom_?" Finn asked. True, Tom did not have Finn's confused feelings regarding Sierra and tutoring. But Sierra, no matter Finn's attraction to her, was really far away in his mind. Tom had frustrations, all people did. And breaking up with Jane was certainly frustrating, even if Tom was the one who dumped her.

"_Now who am I to criticize_?" Finn chastised himself. "_God, Finn, you are such an asshole. You give this huge damn speech about not stabbing people in the back, and here you are making out with Jane. On her bed. And you were shirtless. Jesus, what the hell is the matter with you. It's bad enough you broke Tom and Jane up in the first place. Now you're macking on Jane_._ You suck!_" Finn continued to berate himself, glad there were no other cars on the road.

Finn reached the house just before sunset.

"Hey, Finn!" Jake called once he entered the house. Finn tossed the car keys to his father, but didn't return his greeting.

"How was your trip?" Jake asked. Finn went upstairs to his room.

"Finn?" Jake called.

Once inside his room, Finn started punching his pillows. He wanted to punch something harder, but this wouldn't make much noise. While he did so, he continued to berate himself. He was an asshole, slut, all sorts of horrible words. Then he looked inside the mirror, that full-length mirror he always looked in several times a day.

The creature reflected within looked like a handsome man. Great hair, strong and defined features, body like a Greek statue.

"_And all it's brought me is this_." Finn cursed the creature, he cursed his looks for the first time ever. All it gave him was the attentions and affections of the idiot girls he didn't even care about. There were rare girls who Finn actually cared about, but his looks didn't matter to them.

"_You're nothing. Sierra was right. You're just some good-looking guy who is awash in the affections of the idiots just because you're good-looking. That's all they care about. You may be good-looking, and you might be good with the pigskin, but that's it. You do nothing but cause misery to everyone around you. You make Sierra upset when you flirt with her, you freaking slut. You break Tom and Jane up, and you sure as hell don't stop them. You didn't stop them because you liked it. Jane was cool, and you revelled in the fact that she liked you, no matter what it did to Tom. You're horrible, you're awful_." Finn continued to address the mirror.

"_You're no better than Daria_."


	33. Independence

Finn had absolutely no desire to wake up the next day, and when he did, he continued to lay in bed, staring a hole at his wall.

Finn had always thought he was, at the very least, better than Daria. And it was easy to feel that way. Daria was cruel to everyone, and Finn was not. He said good things to his buddies, and tried to be supportive. He participated on a team, and gave of himself so that the team might succeed, even if he got hurt in the attempt. And there was more.

But Finn wasn't sure he could feel that way anymore. He was a narcissist, or whatever that word was that meant people loved attention and would do anything to get it. He strung along Jane because, secretly, he liked the fact that Jane preferred him to Tom.

"_How could you be so horrible?_" Finn chastised. This was the crap Daria pulled. She saw all the hell she was causing everyone growing up, and that just made her want to do it more.

"_And here you are, asshole_." Finn continued to berate himself. He eventually got out of bed, got dressed, and sat down at his desk.

Things were so much simpler before Sierra walked into his life. He was on top of the world, Lawndale's big man on campus. He had buddies, worshippers, and even female friends like Stacy. They were rare, of course. Stacy was an exception to the mindless praise. But he no longer felt worthy of their devotions.

Finn grabbed the football laying on his floor. He desperately wanted to go back. Back to the world before the summer. Sure, it wasn't all perfect, but none of the bad stuff was his fault. Daria caused all the problems in childhood. Daria was the whore who made out with Tom in spite of how Jane would feel. Finn good, Daria bad.

But it could never be true anymore, and Finn sobbed softly into his desk.

It wasn't until later that night that Finn reviewed the necessary information for tutoring tomorrow. The sun would rise again, and Sierra would be back over for more work. Finn couldn't hate her, what was the point? Sierra had not told Finn those things about himself: He did himself. It was harder to concentrate, but, just maybe, if Finn could concentrate on this tutoring work she assigned, and he did well at it, she'd be impressed. He could get the girl without his looks. Maybe instill a state of back to normality in this crazy life of his.

Finn's bad mood did not dissipate, but it lightened.

* * *

For the next two weeks, Sierra and Finn did their lessons. Finn still had a long way to go, but he had come a long way, and Sierra found herself impressed.

Because Finn was studying British literature, Sierra had assigned to him The Picture of Dorian Grey, figuring the Irish Wilde was close enough, and there was a parallel in this story she was hoping Finn would see. When Finn took an interest, Sierra allowed him to focus on this until the Fourth of July.

Finn criticized Dorian strongly, and at first he seemed to ignore the motives behind aestheticism and the double life, as Wilde intended. He seemed to understand it at first.

"So, how come when Dorian's all nice and stuff, the picture doesn't change back?" Finn asked.

"That's a very scholarly question, interpret that on your own. What do you think?" Sierra offered.

"Ummm...Actually, do you think it's because Dorian's all bad and no matter what he does, he's always going to be awful?" Finn asked, with an almost pathetic eagerness. Sierra did not think her plan would work this well, but she had no problems with being wrong about it.

"I don't think so." Sierra remarked. "Dorian's mercy wasn't true mercy. He didn't look at himself and want to be changed. He was just curious about being good."

"Oh." Finn remarked.

"Anyway, you seem to have read the book very well. Enjoy the Fourth of July, we'll pick up again next week." Sierra remarked as she picked up her things and left.

Finn was going to be spending the Fourth of July at Jodie Landon's bash, but Finn was only going because Mack and his buddies were going. He hadn't heard hide nor hair from Jodie all summer, and Andrew Landon, Jodie's father, was probably the most insufferable ass Finn had ever met. He was obsessed with name-dropping, and had an ego as large as the day was long. Finn supposed that inventing a foldable coffee cup gave him some well-deserved kudos, but that man was so full of himself it made Finn want to puke.

But at least the party had good nosh, Finn thought as he got himself a plate of food.

"Nice to see everyone." Finn clustered around his buddies. They were chatting about everything they had been doing over the summer. It didn't amount to much: mostly boring stuff like catching some movies, a few funny stories.

"What have you been doing, Finn?" Joey asked. Finn tried to deflect the question. What would he tell them, that he made out with Jane? That he learned he was a attention-starved asshole who ruined people's lives, just like his sister?

Luckily, the question didn't need to be answered, for Jodie and Mack came over to join him.

"What's up, guys?" Mack asked pleasantly.

"Hey, Mack." Finn eagerly joined in deflecting attention from himself. "How are you?"

"I'm not driving that wretched ice-cream truck today." Mack gave the answer.

"That bad, huh?" Finn asked.

"At least you get to be outside wearing your nice white suit." Jodie remarked. "All I've just been shredding articles of corruption exposed in our Congress."

"That's not funny." Finn remarked. "Mack's paying back his dad, there's no need to patronize him for it."

"I'm not trying to patronize him." Jodie answered. By the look in Mack's face, however, Finn thought there was something else that Mack didn't believe his girlfriend. Finn was not about to break another couple up.

"How has tutoring been going, Finn?" Jodie asked.

"Well, I don't get grades or anything, so I couldn't give you a progress report. But I think it's going better. I mean, I did learn some stuff."

"You...actually got the tutor?" Jeffy puzzled.

"Didn't I say I would?" Finn returned. He was eager to keep the topic on Sierra and his tutoring.

"That doesn't mean you did." Jamie pointed out.

"True, but I did. Her name is Sierra, my mom found her. I don't know the specifics behind that. Why, what's up?"

"It's...actually...kinda cool, that you actually did it." Jamie continued.

"Huh?" Finn answered. Of all the things he expected his buddies to say about tutoring, that was not it.

"I had been thinking about it. You know, ever since you told me you were doing it." Jeffy admitted.

"Me too!" Joey remarked. "I mean, Finn, you're doing it, and you're cool. That doesn't mean it's dumb. It's just doing better."

"Umm...yeah." Finn shrugged. "I was just doing it to get my PSTAT's up."

"It doesn't have to be just about those, and for what it's worth, I think it's a fantastic idea." Mack praised. "I'm glad to hear you're doing well with it."

"Well, like I said, I don't get grades. But I read this book, The Picture of Dorian Grey."

"I read that." Jodie offered. "I wish I had more time for reading books like that. You said you finished it?"

"Yeah, that was much better than the other one I read, Pride and Prejudice, or something."

"Well, I liked that one, but I suppose you're not me."

"I hated it." Mack returned. "Finn, maybe I could tell you a few more books you'd like?"

"Ummm...I guess. I can run them by Sierra, see if she's okay with it. But we gotta do other stuff too." Finn, Mack, and Jodie continued to talk, while his buddies sat silently.

"Hey, Finn, do you think...do you think I could get your tutor's number?" Jeffy asked.

"I...I guess. She might say no, but if you want to ask..." Finn looked around, grabbed a napkin, and wrote the number down.

"Thanks!" Jeffy remarked.

"Hey, don't hog it, I wanna call her too!" Joey nearly snatched the napkin out of her hand.

"Guys, don't rip it." Mack suggested. He then looked at Finn while the boys wrestled and fought.

"Hey, Finn, do you remember what I told you when you took over QB?"

"Uhhh...there were a lot of things."

"That you should be a leader more often." Mack recited.

"Was this what you meant?"

"Mostly." Mack answered. "But stick with the tutoring. You'll understand later. Now, I think Jodie and I need to make rounds with her father." Mack grimaced at the last part of the sentence.

"I know he can be a little heavy-handed." Jodie noted. "But he's not a jerk."

"You haven't heard him talk about the ice-cream truck. Speaking of that..." The two of them went off to argue, leaving Finn with more to think about.

* * *

In another section of the party, Daria had arrived with Tom. Most of her had absolutely no desire to go to this party, and she was almost certain Jodie merely invited her in a show of good manners. Further, Finn would be at the party. Finn went to every party. He would never pass up free party food and his flirtatious games. But Tom insisted. He needed an alibi in the event that his mother decided to check-in and see if he wasn't ditching out at Fourth of July fireworks at "The Cove", some private beach resort owned by a wealthy member of Tom's family.

"_They certainly are upper-crust. Screw that, they're the glaze on top of the pie_." Daria thought. While it didn't bother her that much, it seemed to matter to everyone else. Her parents acted weird around it when they found out.

"Hello!" Jodie saw Daria, and eagerly maneuvered her way through some guests to greet her.

"Hi, Jodie." Daria remarked. She was willing to play pleased guest to the hostess, but the social graces ended there. This party was boring as all-hell. It wasn't Jodie's fault: Parties were full of people with nothing better to do than ego inflation, and with Andrew Landon, Jodie's pretentious father, around, there was no shortage of hot air. Daria still seethed when she recalled Andrew's attitude the few times she met him. Cold to her, mocking to her father, and relentless to Jodie, the guy wasn't as important as he thought himself to be.

"Hey, Daria. And Tom Sloane, right?" Jodie addressed the man. "You're Jane's boyfriend."

"Oh, so Finn hasn't told you?" Daria asked.

"Finn hasn't told me what? I know Jane's at an art camp this summer, so it's not like she could bring him."

"Jane and I are just friends now." Tom remarked.

"Oh." Jodie seemed a bit dismayed. "You two were a cute couple. So, why didn't you come with Finn. You two are friends, aren't you?"

"Jodie, Tom is my boyfriend." Daria delivered, sensing Tom's discomfort on the topic of Finn. Those two guys still hadn't spoken to each other since Finn's birthday, and, according to Tom, that wasn't anything. Tom gave his birthday present and Finn thanked him. That was all.

It baffled Daria that Tom was still beaten up about it. Tom couldn't be so stupid as to fall under Finn's sway. He had legendary powers of persuasion, but anyone with half a brain could see through him.

"Tom is...he and Jane...and you..." Jodie was in shock. Daria might have considered it an accomplishment if the topic wasn't making her nervous.

"Well...it's good to see you two again." Jodie covered.

"_When in doubt, fall on good manners_." Daria teased Jodie silently.

"Help yourselves to refreshments. Tom, Finn's up on the deck if you were looking for him." Jodie remarked. Daria turned to face her boyfriend, and saw a bit of conflict in his face, as if he was deciding on what to do.

"No, that's okay." Tom answered. "I'll speak to him later. He appears occupied." Tom remarked. Daria couldn't see the deck, but Tom was taller, he probably could make out Finn's head above the railing.

"Well, please excuse me." Jodie ducked back into the crowd.

"Alright, we've played good guest for the hostess. Time to bail." Daria noted once the two were alone.

"Daria, we came all this way. We should stay a while. Or at least eat something." Tom shrugged.

"I'd rather go." Daria remarked, and she turned around and walked out of the Landon backyard.

* * *

Tom tailed his girlfriend as she went back to his car.

"What's wrong?" Tom asked.

"You don't find it odd?" Daria posed.

"What?"

"The fact that Jodie, Miss Prim and Proper Manners, was stunned to find out I was..."

"Dating me?" Tom finished.

"Didn't I warn you about foul language?"

"Daria, what's the big deal?"

"You try it, for once. First it was with Brittany, and now it was with Jodie. Thank God Kevin was too stupid to figure it out." Daria delivered.

"Figure what out?"

"That I'm dating my best friend's ex. Everyone thinks I'm a man-stealer. And I'm not."

"Daria, no one thinks that, and if they do, screw them. You know better and so do I. You don't care about what they think."

"I don't like being thought of as someone who ruined Jane's relationship."

"You didn't ruin Jane's relationship with me. We've been over this."

"Jane thinks it. She hasn't spoken to me. I've tried calling her at the camp."

"Have you tried visiting her?" Tom offered. "I mean, if it's bothering you that badly..."

'I don't know where the camp is." Daria admitted. "The only people who do know are Trent, maybe, and I'm amazed to say it, but Finn."

"Finn knows?"

"So I gathered. I heard him mention it a few weeks ago to Dad when he asked to borrow his car." Daria answered.

"So ask him." Tom noted. "How hard could it be."

"You ask him."

"Because I'm not the one who's going to see her." Tom answered.

"Dammit." Daria remarked. "Why is this so hard?"

"Why is what so hard?" Tom did not seem to take kindly to her comment.

"This dating thing. God, Finn made it look like it was as easy as blowing your nose."

"Finn's idea of dating is different even with different girls. You should seem him date that girl...what was her name, the one he actually liked..."

"I don't keep track of Finn's dates." Daria remarked.

"Anyway, why don't we do something totally effortless. Trent's got a gig tonight, why don't we go and see?"

"I guess." Daria shrugged. "Maybe I can get him to spill Jane's secret militia base, I mean, art camp."

"Go ahead, but I doubt it will work." Tom noted. He and Daria got into the car and drove off towards her house. They drove in silence.

"_Is this my relationship_?" Tom thought as he kept his eyes on the road. With his beat-up old car, he didn't like to talk while driving. But now he wanted the quiet. Daria had been acting weirdly ever since the relationship started. Between their kiss in the first place, the hurt reactions of Jane and Finn, and Daria's own awkwardness, Tom started to wonder if he had made a dreadful mistake.

* * *

The Saturday after the Fourth of July, Sierra arrived again for tutoring. Sierra seemed to like all this learning stuff, so Finn reasoned that if he continued as he was going, Sierra would warm up to him. She did say he was handsome, after all.

But Sierra still seemed focused on the tutoring. Finn reasoned that was understandable: this was what she was paid to do. However, he also needed to test the waves a little.

"Italy was the center of the Renaissance. Specifically, the cities of Florence and Tuscany." Sierra explained. "It was for many reasons."

"The, uh, de Medici family was a big part of that, right?"

"Not solely, but yes." Sierra remarked. "But the Renaissance dealt with many pieces of the classic period. The Ancient Greeks and such. Because of the fall of the Byzantine Empire and it's capital, Constantinople, many texts and thinkers came to the area."

"Italy was so broken up then." Finn remarked. "I mean, there were all these tiny little parts."

"This was also part of the reason why Italy was at the heart of the Renaissance." Sierra explained. "These cities were urbanized and modern when compared to the rest of Europe. Finn, why do you think that these city-state's positions would allow the Renaissance to happen here?"

The gears in Finn's head started to turn.

"Well, they were, like, trading capitals, right?" Finn asked.

"They were." Sierra remarked.

"So, if it was a trading capital, lots of people would be around. People from many different places, like, ummm, China, and that weird word...what was it...Levant?"

"The Levant." Sierra corrected. "You still haven't answered the question."

"I'm getting to it. Since, you know, all those people are there from different areas, there's lots of different people thinking. So people had different ideas on how to do things. People are curious, and that's what made it."

"Not bad." Sierra praised. "That is one correct answer, but there are a lot more reasons. For next week, I want you to think on that. Give me two other reasons why the smaller city-states of Italy allowed for the Renaissance to flourish."

"Okay." Finn remarked. "You know, I know this great Italian restaurant nearby. And since my dad does marketing for them, we get all our meals there half off. We're studying Italian history, so maybe we should go there sometime. "

"Nice offer, but I'll pass. I don't eat when I study." Sierra remarked. "And I'd like to ask you something now."

"_Eep_!" Finn thought. Was she going to call him out, like she did before.

"I received a call from some boys who said they know you a few days ago."

"Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey?" Finn asked. "They said they were looking for tutors too, and you were the only one I knew." Finn was telling the truth. Sierra looked at him quizzically.

"Are you going to do it?" Finn asked.

"Might as well. They've offered to pay my fee, after all. In addition to the Renaissance, I also want you to review the circulatory system. Alright, see ya." Sierra was pleasant, but all business. Finn smiled at her until he heard the door shut, and then he sighed into the table.

"_Dammit, what's wrong with me. Why can't I get this done right_?"

* * *

Daria and Tom sat in the Sloane house watching Sick, Sad World. Tom was focused on the program, which unnerved Daria more than she'd care to admit out loud. Tom was never silent. Sick, Sad World was full of things for Tom to rip on or provide witty banter too.

"Tom?" Daria asked.

"Hmm?" Tom returned.

"Never mind." Daria remarked. The front door opened, and footsteps sounded through the house.

"That's Mom." Tom remarked before the footsteps became visible. Sure enough, Katherine Sloane walked into the room a moment later.

"Hello, Tom. And good to see you again, Daria." Mrs. Sloane greeted the two teenagers.

"Hi." Daria replied.

"How was fireworks at the cove?" Tom asked politely.

"Oh, spectacular, dear. I wish you could have come, Daria. But I suppose you agreed to see that friend of yours first."

"Um, yeah. Sorry." Daria remarked. She had never agreed to go see Jodie at the party, it was just a scapegoat that Tom picked up on to avoid going with his family.

"Well, I do hope you two will attend the gala I'm throwing at the end of the month." Mrs. Sloane remarked.

"I don't know anything about it." Daria noted.

"Oh, I didn't tell you? The board is having a garden party." Katherine answered.

"All the wine we can't drink and grass stains on your favorite pants." Tom teased.

"Tom." Kay did not snap harshly, but she did seem to silently caution him. "It's an affair we've thrown for many of the new prospective members. I understand that Andrew Landon has a daughter named Jodie that goes to your school."

"She does." Daria remarked.

"Unfortunately, Daria and I already made plans." Tom remarked. "If only you'd told us earlier." Daria silently seethed at Tom. They had no such plans. Daria didn't even know what tomorrow's plans would bring. But Tom would not allow her to say yes, that was for damn sure.

"Well, why don't I check?" Daria returned, with a silent dare to Tom. "What was the day?"

"The 29th." Katherine answered. "It's that Friday."

"Thanks." Daria answered. "I'll let you know the next time I see you."

"Oh, that would be lovely. It's too bad that your parents couldn't attend the Starry Night Ball. This one's members and prospects only, unfortunately."

"It's okay. Others will come." Daria, in truth, was not enthusiastic about spending time with the rest of the Sloane's elitist circle. Mrs. Sloane was not unpleasant, but she was a blue-blood trust fund type and seemed to think the world was the same.

But Daria despised more the fact that she was never given the opportunity to decline. And she knew who to blame for that.

* * *

On Tuesday, Finn was working out in his room when the last person he expected came to his door. The door was halfway open, as it always was during his workouts, so the person came in by knocking and pushing the door open.

Finn was in shock, for Daria was at the doorway.

"What?" Finn's reply was curt, but not rude. As awful as Finn felt about his part in Jane and Tom's relationship, Daria's part was still Daria's part. She was still a bitch for doing what she did to Jane.

"Finn, I need to ask you something." Daria remarked.

"You know the price." Finn remarked. Daria shut his music off.

"It's about Tom." Daria clarified. Finn's eyes widened a little, but he did his best not to show it.

"Tom? You mean Tom Sloane, your boyfriend with whom you made out with six seconds after he dumped Jane?" Finn was short with Daria.

"Finn, I already told you..." Daria started.

"What is your question?" Finn continued, ignoring her protests.

"Did you meet Tom's family?"

"His immediate family? Only a few times." Finn remarked. This was a very odd question. What did it mean?

"Are they always like that?"

"Always like what?"

"Elitist high-brows." Daria clarified.

"Well, I only ever met Tom's mom more than once. Mr. Sloane's fairly nice, but he's big into work, like Mom, and I don't know anything about that stuff. Mrs. Sloane is really nice, but she's weird. Like, she thinks a hundred is pocket change. Elsie's unpleasant, lazy, miserable, and a real bitch." Finn answered Daria's question to the best of his abilities.

"_Remind you of anyone? Like you_?" Finn thought to himself.

"So yeah, they're elitist high-brows. Not jerks, but elitist." Finn finished.

"Did they ever invite you to weird family events?" Daria asked. Finn puzzled that one.

"No. But I wouldn't have gone if they did. Those things are stuffy." Finn remarked. There was silence for a moment.

"Why?" He asked.

"Nothing." Daria answered. She turned to leave.

"Wait a minute!" Finn called. Daria paused.

"You got to ask your weird questions, now it's my turn." Finn posed. Daria looked at Finn strangely, but did not leave the room.

"What do you think of Sierra?" Finn asked.

"Your tutor? I haven't spoken more than a hello to her." Daria returned.

"Do you think she's cute?"

"I don't look at women that way. But I guess. She is pretty."

"Okay." Finn paused, now more lost than before. "Ummm...thanks."

"Yeah." No one moved for a moment.

"How's Tom?" Finn finally broke down and asked.

"Constantly dodging family events no matter how he does it. Or who he doesn't invite." Daria remarked. She showed no sign of victory that Finn cracked and asked about his former friend first.

"Heh, that sounds like Tom." Finn chuckled. There was more silence.

"How's Jane?" Daria asked.

"Huh?'

"You went and saw her. I heard you talk to Dad about it."

"Oh. Well, no point in playing dumb. She seems okay." Finn wasn't about to tell her of what happened at the art camp between him and Jane. Daria would go ballistic, and Finn wouldn't have the effort to stop her. He felt awful doing exactly what he condemned Daria about.

"Well, goodbye." Daria turned out of the room, leaving Finn to simmer in depression. And he couldn't see it, but just outside, Daria wasn't feeling any better.

* * *

Sierra sat in the White family kitchen, with her newest pupil, Jamie White. The kid was very polite and offered her refreshment. He had a legal pad with him, but no books.

"_First session, Sierra. Of course he wouldn't have a book_." She reminded herself.

"Ummm...how do we start?" Jamie asked her.

"Well, what are your best subjects?" Sierra asked.

"I don't have best subjects. I kinda do the same in all of them."

"What is your grade point average, then?"

"Ummm...I have a D average." Jamie remarked. Sierra sighed. This would be even harder than tutoring Finn.

"It looks like we have a lot of work to do." Sierra remarked as she sat down. "Since we don't have any materials today, I'll simply start you off with some basics." Sierra wrote down a few books for the boy. A step lower than Finn, but something that should challenge him. Jamie, to her surprise, ate it up, and attacked his first few lessons.

It was nothing to be impressed about, but he did seem to have some spark within him.

"Tell me something, Jamie." Sierra asked. "If you want to learn things like this, why do you have a D average?"

"Uhhh..." Jamie stared blankly at her for a moment. "I don't follow."

"Why did you ask me to tutor you?" Sierra asked in a pleasant manner. Jamie was a stereotypical high school boy: Good-hearted, but a little doofy. His eyes slipped to her cleavage a little too often, but he wasn't staring. That he would have a sudden change like this was...rather strange.

"Well...uhhh...what was it that Finn said..." Jamie started to trail off.

"Finn told you to hire me?" Sierra asked.

"No." Jamie protested. "It was more like he said he was gonna get one, and then he actually did, and, you know, my grades are kinda low, so maybe I should have gotten one too." Sierra stared at Jamie for a moment. He didn't seem uncomfortable, but Sierra was not checking him out.

"_That is just plain strange._" Sierra thought. Finn certainly had an influence over his friend. And, considering that his friends were always spoken of collectively, Sierra reasoned that when she went to visit the others ones, she'd receive more surprises like this.

* * *

Daria lay in her room, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't stop thinking about Tom.

"_Okay, I've never really had a boyfriend before, so I guess I really can't compare it to anything. But I'm pretty sure this isn't how it works._" Daria thought. She and Tom did go out to places: pizza, the movies, and such. Tom was forthcoming enough to invite her to his house, but she never met his family. Her first meeting of them was by total chance, and Tom clearly was not happy with the matter. Why not? He had never told them about her. He said he never did, was that even true? Did Jane know them? She knew his mother, she had mentioned her name on occasion.

She heard the phone ring, and she picked it up. Tom was on the other line.

"Hey, Daria." Tom was pleasant.

"Hey." Daria herself was flat.

"I was just calling, wondering if you wanted to go out to a movie tonight. They're playing a Croatian..." Tom started to arrange another date.

"I'll pass. I've got a headache." Daria remarked.

"Oh?" There was real concern in his voice. "Would you like me to bring you some soup?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Daria remarked.

"Okay." Tom seemed a little depressed. "Call me if you feel better."

"Yeah." Daria replied a bit tersely before hanging up. Once she was alone, she sighed again. What did all of this mean? Finn would hardly be forthcoming to a direct interrogation, and Jane...Daria didn't even know if Jane would speak to her again. Besides, she didn't know where the art camp was. Finn would certainly not tell her, and Trent may have been cautioned by Jane. As much as Trent seemed to really like Daria, he would never betray Jane for her.

"_Why can't things be simple_?" Daria thought.

* * *

Sierra's next pupil was one Joey Nelson. He decided to meet her at a library. Sierra never liked libraries, too quiet, but the boy insisted they could not use his house, and Sierra had to accept that.

Unlike with Mr. White, Joey was able to find some books, probably because of conversations with Finn. The books he picked up were pretty advanced, definitely from the library. He probably didn't know the right ones.

But Sierra started her lesson.

"The quadratic equation is calculated as ax squared plus bx plus c is equal to zero. A, B, and C are all constant numbers."

"Constant...that means it doesn't have the x, right?" Joey asked.

"Correct. On a graph, this equation will form a parabola. Think of it as a curve." Sierra explained. Joey scribbled furiously.

"Wow, you're taking this seriously. Good man."

"Thanks." Joey smiled. "Finn says this has been going really well for him. And it sounded like a good idea."

"Finn didn't ask you to hire me?"

"No, not at all." Joey confirmed Sierra's own doubts regarding what Jamie had told her. "Mack said getting a tutor was a good idea, but Finn was the one who thought of the idea." Joey eagerly volunteered information. Sierra was completely mystified even further.

* * *

Two weeks past, and Tom tried to arrange date after date with Daria. At first, he called every three days, than every other day, and by the end, Tom was so frustrated he was ready to go over the house himself.

But that presented it's own sort of problems, a problem called Finn. Tom knew Finn well enough to know he was still furious with him. Finn would probably not react well to Tom's unwanted and uninvited presence.

He sighed. Daria was such a pleasant person when they talked while dating Jane, but now it seemed like that spark was gone. Daria was a cold fish whenever the two went out, and was always so awkward. He couldn't even talk to her anymore, she just clammed up. It felt like darting a brick wall.

Finally, he groaned, and came over to the Morgendorffer house on an impulse. Helen Morgendorffer was home. She talked about the Starry Night Ball, an event his mother was throwing soon, an invitation that Tom had rejected long ago.

"It's all right." Tom remarked.

"Daria, Tom's here!" Helen called upstairs. Daria descended a moment later.

"Oh!" She was surprised. Daria knew that Tom would not pull such a trick as ducking out at the last minute, not in front of her mother.

"Excuse me." Helen went into the kitchen as Daria and Tom went outside.

"Nice to see you again." Tom remarked. Daria shrugged.

"Pizza?" Tom offered.

"Already ate." Daria remarked.

"Daria, what's the problem. I've been begging you to come out for two weeks now, and I had to pull a trick like this just to see you."

"What about that event your mom is throwing at the end of the month?" Daria asked.

"You actually want to go to a garden party?"

"No, but it would have been nice to decline it myself." Daria remarked. "And the fireworks at the cove, and the museum fund-raisers, and all that other crap you didn't want to be shown with a peon like me."

"Peon? Daria, I hate those events. You would hate them too. It's not a sophisticated world of stimulating intellectual conversation, it's all talks about bad servants this, and vacationing that. All that leisure time those idiots have, they could do something worthwhile."

"Well, it should have been my decision. I feel like those debutantes whose mothers are trying to marry them off to some banker's son because he's got money and his parents are important."

"This is what I was trying to avoid, Daria. Besides, you're uncomfortable enough when we do things you actually do enjoy."

"Excuse me?" Daria posed.

"You think I haven't noticed. We go out for pizza, and you don't even say two words. We used to have such great talks, Daria. Now I'm lucky enough to even get to see you."

"It's weird." Daria admitted. "Weird that you'll date me yet I'm not good enough for your family."

"You're not...Daria, what's gotten into you? If I didn't think you were great, I wouldn't date you. That simple." Tom noted. Daria did not smile at the compliment.

"So what's with the family treatment? My family knew about you."

"That's because of Finn."

"Even without Finn, I still told them of you." Daria corrected.

"Daria, my family's a lot different from yours. If it were up to me, I would associate with them even less than I do now."

"Yeah, can't write off all the perks of being loaded."

"Is that was this is about? You're upset that my family is rich?" Tom cocked an eyebrow.

"No, it's that your highbrow elitist world can only include me in private."

"Elitist? My world? Daria, I've explained a billion times that I'm not from that world. Even before I dated you. Ask Jane, or Finn, or anyone. But why don't we just stop pussyfooting around and talk about what's really the problem. You're scared, Daria. You're scared that you're just going to get hurt, so you'll hurt me before I get the chance. Just like you do with everyone you met."

"You..."

"You've admitted this to me about yourself." Tom cut her off. "Don't call me cruel for remembering it. And even worse, you're scared that you might actually care about someone, How someone else feels might actually matter. What a horrible sin." Daria opened her mouth in protest, but her eyes widened in shock. Tom knew that he was right, and he knew that Daria knew he was right.

Daria looked to the ground, defeated.

"Look, maybe we should hold off on dating." Daria remarked. "It's just...not working."

"If you don't think this is working, Daria, don't lay the blame at my feet." Tom remarked.

"_Not entirely_." Tom thought to himself. Daria looked like she was about to cry. Tom felt really bad about this. Who knew that being right could be so hurtful.

Daria was silent.

"So, what now?" Tom asked. Daria was mute.

"I'm not going to beg, Daria."

"Fine, forget it. See ya." Tom got into his car and drove off. He wasn't about to let her see just how much this hurt him.

* * *

Daria did not feel good as she lay upstairs in her room.

"_Of course this is for the best._" Daria recited to herself. In truth, she knew that Tom was factually correct about not inviting her. Ever since she and Tom had started dating, his mother had brought up a few functions. Something called the Starry Night Ball, a fireworks display, a few galas for the art gallery she worked for. All pretentious nonsense, and all things Daria would never dream of attending.

Further, she also reasoned that Tom would know enough about her to know she despised these sorts of things. It wasn't as if she tried to hide it.

But still, to make the decision himself...Daria wasn't exactly sure what to call it. Insensitive? Did she actually want Tom to waste his time asking her to something she would just say no to? Did that make her insensitive?

"_God, relationships are complicated._" She thought. Tom and Jane never seemed to have this sort of problem. Of course, they had other problems, though. How Jane kept blowing Tom off to hang with Finn instead came to mind.

"_So now what?_" Daria thought. She had broken it off with Tom now. Was this for good, then. Did that make-out session a few months ago end up being just some random flirtation. A slip-up? Everyone made mistakes, Daria supposed. And this one cost her friendship with Jane, trading her friendship with Tom for some weird dateship thing, and gave Finn some choice ammunition of his own to use.

Then Daria's mind drifted onto what Tom had said. Were things awkward between them?

"_You try dating your best friend's ex._" Daria thought a bit smugly. How awkward could that be, for all of the people she knew to see her parade her best friend's ex around. Did she truly have no shame?

Tom said that the two of them never talked as they did, or enjoyed themselves with pizza, and, looking back on it, Daria could reason this to be true. Not that it was remotely any excuse, but perhaps Tom could look at such a situation and see it as things getting worse once they started dating.

Breaking up with Tom did not make Daria happy, and she couldn't even rationalize it in her head as being necessary.

"_Was I scared of getting close? Did I just want to break it off and this whole family affair was my lousy excuse_?" Daria considered it seriously. She rarely considered anything other people told her, but Tom was one of the few exceptions.

Daria desperately wanted to contact Jane and tell her of the whole sordid affair. She also wanted to apologize for being harsh to Jane following their conversation about Tom. Daria may have been right, but merely being truthful did not excuse being cruel. There were ways to do both.

But only Trent and Finn knew where Jane was. Neither man would side with her. She would never let Trent betray his sister, and Finn would never do anything remotely helpful.

Daria turned on her side, and stared at the wall, as well as the empty space between her and it. She had been by herself, many times, by choice most of the time, for much of her life. But never before did she feel so alone.

* * *

Sierra finished her lesson with Jeffy Mercer, the last of the three boys that Finn had volunteered to have her tutor. Although he was the brightest of the three, Finn was superior to all of them in his studies.

"The Norman conquest of England in the 11th century led to a transformation of the English language." Sierra remarked.

"Is that why a lot of French words are used in English?"

"That's part of it." Sierra remarked. "And also, you are to study the structures of plant and animal cells, and compare and contrast them."

"Okay. I'm still a little iffy with that. Is it okay if Finn helps me?"

"I'd really prefer you do it yourself, but Finn has known you longer than I have. Perhaps he could relate it differently."

"Thanks. He knows this stuff. Better than me, though I'd never admit it." Jeffy cheered, Sierra laughed a little.

"I've tutored all three of you, and you have decent heads on your shoulders." Sierra praised.

"Thanks. Finn's smarter than all of us though. Ever since he came around, he's always been the go-to guy.

"That's...strange." Sierra remarked. "Is he the captain of the team?"

"What? Oh no. Finn acted all weird when that came up once. But when he says something, we all listen. He told us about a tutor, than he told us about you. And I think I'm making progress, thanks to him." Jeffy was rather cheerful.

"Tell me something, Jeffy, is that the reason why you got a tutor?" Sierra had asked this question of the other two, and they responded in the opposite of what they thought.

"Nope. He just did it. That's all." Jeffy answered.

"_Three times_." Sierra thought. "_And it was the same answer. It must be true. That kid does something and people do it. They follow. `Tis powerful indeed." _

It was mystifying. It hadn't been that long since high school, but to command respect, just like that? Did they even know that this kid practically begged her to help him get smarter? That he was practically in pain when he admitted he cared.

"_Of course, he did mention that sister...but this is really none of my business_." Sierra reasoned as she excused herself from the Mercer house.

Each of those three boys was different, but they all followed the leader. The leader was Finn. Did Finn even realize this?

* * *

Daria still couldn't believe she was doing this as she exited her bedroom. Staring at the wall for a week after breaking up with Tom gave her no answers.

"_Why, the hell, did I think it would?_" Daria thought. She wanted to talk to someone about it, she needed the opinion of someone. But there was still no way to reach Jane, Tom was the topic, so she couldn't ask him. Trent wasn't answering the phone, and Jodie was off doing the next great resume-builder.

She knocked on her mother's door.

"Come in." The voice called. Daria saw her mother, dressed for bed, reading some files.

"Oh, hello, Daria." Helen noted warmly.

"Where's Dad?"

"He should be home in an hour. Did you need your father?"

"No, I wanted...to talk to you."

"Oh?" Helen seemed surprised, but did not object. "What about?"

"Tom."

"Oh. Well, Daria, remember that you two have just started dating and if you start to feel..."

"It's not about sex." Daria interrupted.

"Phew." Helen breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, what is it?" Daria relayed the story of their breakup.

"Oh. Well, Daria, what you really need to first ask yourself is what do you want?"

"I want this damn problem to be fixed." Daria remarked sourly.

"I mean in regards to Tom. Did you like dating him?"

"Ummm...it was all right." Daria mentioned. "It's just...with what happened to Jane and all."

"Daria, that relationship did not break up because you two made out in a car." Helen reminded. Daria was silent.

"You feel like you're betraying Jane by dating him?" Helen took the words out of Daria's head.

"I know I shouldn't."

"Daria, if you recall, Tom broke up with her. She must still feel something for him if he ended the relationship."

"Turn knife counterclockwise." Daria remarked. Helen did not back down.

"Daria, do you wish you had never kissed Tom?" Helen posed. Daria considered it.

"No." Daria admitted. "I liked spending time with Tom. Until things got awkward."

"Whose fault was that?"

"Both of ours." Daria was powerless before her mother's onslaught. She didn't like it, but she did come to her mother for that exact reason. Helen Morgendorffer was smart, and Daria knew she knew how to extract things from people and ask leading questions. Came with the lawyer territory.

"Tom was very wrong not to ask you to do those things. The correct answer isn't always the right one, Daria." Helen lectured. "And you're aware that Tom was not doing this to make you feel uncomfortable. He did genuinely believe he was doing these things for your benefit, it seems."

"Yeah. Part of me knew that."

"Give yourself some time, Daria. Don't look for an answer, sort out your thoughts. Then talk to Jane, hear what she has to say. After that, though, decide what you want to do with Tom. Date him, be friends, or never see him again. I'll freely support anything you decide, Daria." Helen was warm, and Daria remembered the reason why, despite her mother spending an inordinate amount of time at the office, she lucked out having Helen Morgendorffer as a mother.

* * *

"And the rebellion lead by Boudica was put down at the Battle of Watling Street. The Romans won because of superior tactics and equipment over the massive numbers of the...umm..."

"Iceni." Sierra filled in. "And I'm very impressed, Finn. You have a lot to be proud of."

"Thanks. I'm...I'm doing good?"

"You've done very well. Still a little things that need to be worked on, but you should be very pleased of everything you've accomplished."

"How about...the other guys? Did they do good?" Finn asked hopefully.

"Sorry, I can't comment on them. Breach of trust."

"Yeah, sorry. Should've have asked." Finn smiled. "I...I really enjoyed spending time with you, Sierra."

"Hey, I enjoyed it too. At first it was just about the money, but then you battened down and starting applying yourself. It was rewarding." Sierra was blunt, and Finn started to get a bit nervous.

"Sierra, you're so awesome, and you have a great attitude."

"That's what my roomie says. No wonder I've roomed with her since college started. Part of the reason I didn't go to Crestmoore was because I'd have to leave her behind. Anyway, I wrote down my dorm phone number. Drop me a line when school starts off. I know you'll be fine, but it would be nice to hear it from you."

"I...I really like you, Sierra." Finn could barely think anymore. He could only go for broke.

"You...oh." Sierra seemed dismayed.

"I know, it's weird. I mean, you're not like any girl I've ever dated. Not that it's a bad thing, it's a really good thing. Most girls I know aren't very nice and they're all glamor queens and wear too much makeup and you don't do that, and you're so natural and you barely wear any and you look like those statues of those goddesses we learned about when we did European history. Not that you look like a statue, I mean..." Finn rambled. His head felt like it was on fire, he blushed. His heart pounded so hard he felt like it would jump out of his chest.

"Listen, Finn. It's very flattering, but...I'm into other types of men."

"But we'd look very good together. And you said I'm handsome and you're actually really pretty. We could get in a few dates before you have to head back to campus."

"Finn, your mind still goes right to looks. I'm into men who value brains."

"I value your brains."

"I meant their own brains" Sierra remarked. "Finn, why did you even want to learn? You wanted to get into Keystone State, a ridiculously simple school, just to play football."

"Uh..." Finn was starting to get confused.

"Finn, I'm flattered. I truly am. When I was in hig h school, I probably would have been dancing in my room if the quarterback asked me out. But I'm older now, and I learned that there's more to life than those. You're starting to realize that you have the potential to be more than you are. If we dated, it would be an insult to the girl I used to be, and all the things you were realizing. Keep studying, work hard, and I hope you'll think long and hard about yourself. Goodbye." Sierra departed out the door, and when Finn was finally able to react, he realized he, truly, would probably never see her again.

Finn headed upstairs, into his room. He pushed the door, but it didn't close all the way. Finn looked at himself in the mirror. The same reflection, at it always showed.

Finn tried to smile, and see the reflection's smile as well. He laughed, but the corners of his mouth dropped as soon as it was finished, and the laugh was so fake it gave Finn a stomach cramp.

"So...so what." Finn addressed the sad reflection. "It's okay. It wasn't worth it anyway. It's just been a weird summer, cause of Jane and Tom and all. That's all." Finn's pep talk wasn't cheering up his reflection.

"She was old." Finn started to speak disparagingly of his tutor. "Yeah, older chicks aren't cool. And an egghead, a brain. Come on. Brains are no go. It was just hormones, you know. Happens. Right. That's all. I don't care at all. Uh-uh, no way. Not me, no sir, not how." Finn's legs started to quake, and his eyes started to water.

"I. Do. Not." Finn started to recite a mantra, but the despair and devastation started to fill his words.

"Care." By the time Finn finished, his eyes were completely watered over, his voice was soft and pathetic, and he was two steps away from sinking to his knees.

"Aaah!" Finn hit the mirror with his palm. It didn't break, but it toppled over backward to the carpet. Finn sniffed, and sank to the floor.

Outside her brother's bedroom, Daria watched him break. She didn't know exactly what happened, but, from the context, Daria gathered Finn just had his heart broken. Some girl trounced him, and completely and totally devastated him.

"_This is hilarious_." Daria thought. She never thought she'd see the day. The second she thought those words, however, she knew they were hollow.

"_This should be hilarious. I didn't think it possible, but here it is. A completely distraught, destroyed Finn. This was so much more exciting in my head. Why isn't this hilarious?_"

* * *

It was Daria's intention to ask Finn for the address to the art camp that Jane was heading to over the summer. Convincing Trent to betray his sister was not an option, and Finn could be easily tricked into blurting it out.

But Daria paused. A distressed Finn was significantly more difficult to speak to, as he was more likely to just ignore her, or throw her out. As much as Daria wanted to see Jane, she knew she would have only one shot at getting the information out of Finn.

As much as Daria regretted it, she would have to wait. Alone, with her thoughts. It was depressing her more than she'd admit. But this issue deserved to be treated carefully.

* * *

There was to be no more tutoring for Finn. After all, there were only three weeks left before school started. It was truly amazing how time just flew. But now it seemed to slow down. An hour had passed since Sierra had left, and Finn felt like it had been an eternity. It was a good thing his mirror was on the floor, she was probably greying his hair already.

Sierra's rejection of Finn was total. There was no way around it. She claimed that Finn did not value his brain. He had heard girls sometimes whine that their boyfriends didn't respect her brain, but for her to say she won't date a man that doesn't respect his? That...wasn't exactly the answer Finn was expecting.

He groaned as he lay staring at the ceiling. Time started to pass. Finn did not move. He was hungry, tired, and a host of other things, but he had no desire to move.

"_I'm so stupid!_" When Finn finally got the effort to do something, he cursed himself. He continued to berate himself for a while, not that it made him feel any better. He didn't know what to do now. He thought he was doing good with everything: The guys were cool with him tutoring, and, while Finn didn't know the specifics behind how they were doing, they had, on occasion, spoken to him about it over the summer. They seemed to be taking it seriously.

Not only that, but Captain Mack seemed to approve. Aside from the whole unpleasantness with Daria and the breakup, this was turning into one of the best summer's ever. It wasn't what he expected, but it wasn't unwelcome.

"_I wish Jane was here_." Finn thought. "_I wish Tom was here._" When Finn lost his friendship with Tom, and when Jane showed her attraction, the tutoring, the applying himself for Sierra's sake, was all that was keeping him together. And now, he had nothing. Sierra didn't think anything of him. He was just some good-looking guy with nothing else. Like that Dorian Grey guy from the book.

And now he didn't know what to do.

"_What was the point of all this freaking tutoring?_" Finn moaned. "_Why were you such a fool. You knew better, Finn. You always never let the girls get close. I mean, would you let Sandi have that much power over you? This is how they treat guys like chumps. This is your own damn fault._"

"I know." Finn sighed. His mother was right, he really was dumb.

It was a painful and lengthy two days before Daria realized that she couldn't wait any longer. She just couldn't. She needed to see Jane. School would be starting soon, and she would be stuck around her classmates. Damn truancy keeping everyone in school. For the sake of her sanity, Daria knocked on the door to Finn's room.

"It's open." She heard Finn's voice call. She opened the door. Finn was lying on his bed, a pillow over his face. There was a suitcase lying right beside the bed, neatly packed and ready.

"Going somewhere?" Daria asked.

"I think I might visit Aunt Rita for a few days." Finn remarked. While Finn and Aunt Rita were close, visiting her was a rare occurrence for him, Daria knew. Aunt Rita preferred to visit him.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you where that art colony was Jane was staying all summer."

"Eh?" Finn pulled the pillow over his face.

"I already know you know, don't play dumb."

"Who's playing?" Finn replied dejectedly.

"_Now this is odd_." Daria thought. Brains may not be something he flaunted, but he never belittled himself in front of her. Never. To do so was to admit to being inferior, and he would never do that. Daria wouldn't either.

"Anyway, the art camp?" Daria insisted.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"Do you really think Jane needs you now?" Finn dared. Daria nearly became indignant, but she kept her cool. She wasn't leaving without it.

"I've broken up with Tom." Daria remarked. Finn sat straight up in his bed.

"Why?" Finn reacted with genuine disbelief.

"You sound surprised. Almost as much as me."

"Daria, why would you break up with Tom? Even I could figure out you two had a lot in common."

"A lot in...Finn, you met his family." Daria protested.

"And? It's not like you were making out with Elsie. Oh my god, horrible mental image!"

"I would have thought you'd be pleased. You two can be friends again."

"Daria, jeez, you don't get anything, do you." Finn declared. "I'm mad that he hurt Jane more than anything."

"Dating Tom...was awkward. He would never invite me to any of those family gatherings."

"Daria, he hates those." Finn pointed out.

"He still should have asked me."

"Didn't he invite you to other places?"

"We just got pizza, went to the movies." Daria sighed.

"Those are dates. I mean, they're not _Chez Pierre_ or anything but yeah, they're dates. I mean, if he didn't want to date you or something, he wouldn't."

Daria huffed.

"I know." She painfully admitted to herself. "But still, it would have been nice to refuse it. I felt like..."

"They were those rich assholes in The House of Mirth?" Finn asked. Daria's eyes widened.

"You read that?" Finn had completely the wrong impression, but Daria was amazed that he would read such a complicated book.

"Yeah. It was an assignment for tutoring. It was bad, but I read it."

"Well, it wasn't like that. Not entirely. It's just I thought Tom didn't feel comfortable around me and his family."

"Daria, Tom's never comfortable around his family. Believe me, I've been over there more than you have. He spent time with you, so he clearly wants to."

"Oh." Daria became even more dejected. Now she remembered what her mother said. Tom may have been correct in assuming Daria had no desire to attend those events, but he was still wrong. But Tom still wanted to be around her, doing things that she liked. They saw Fellini movies, debated on political structures and history.

"Daria, I know you don't want to hear this, but you should really reconsider just dropping Tom like that. He's not a bad guy. Even stupid Finn can figure that out."

"_There he goes again_." Daria thought

"Finn, who called you stupid?" Daria's curiosity was peaked. Finn would never care if someone insulted him. Ever. He'd just crush them under his heel.

"Sierra." Finn remarked. He stared at the floor.

"Your tutor called you stupid?"

"She said she only dates men that value their brains."

"But tutoring isn't...wait, you asked your tutor out? And she said no?" Daria asked. Now she understood why Finn was so sad a while back. Finn would have never stuck with the tutoring unless there was something he liked.

"_I suppose that's why he asked me if she was pretty_." Daria thought. She looked at Finn and saw he was completely and totally devastated. Just like before, it wasn't as funny as she thought it would be.

"You're...you're not as stupid as you think." Consoling words to Finn sounded foreign in Daria's mouth, but she choked through them.

"_It's for Jane's sake_." Daria thought. The goal was to get to Jane. Anything else would be permitted if this was accomplished.

"Finn, why did you even want to date her?" Daria asked.

"Why not? She's pretty, and engaging, and we'd have a lot of fun. Besides, this is what people do. I'm a man, she's a woman. I mean, come on, Daria, we're not cousins or anything."

"You don't just have to date someone, Finn. There's other ways to show someone you care."

"Huh?"

"Sierra gave you a chance. She was going to walk out on you, you begged her to stay, and she gave you a chance. And then you learned some stuff and realized that no, you don't have to be stupid. It clearly bothered you for some reason."

"Well, yeah." Finn admitted.

"Finn, you really liked her, didn't you?"

"Mm-hmm." Finn's voice was soft.

"Liking her doesn't mean dating her. Another way to show that she was important is to take her words to heart, and follow her example."

"Isn't that like that co-dependent crap?"

"No." Daria admitted. "That's only when you fall apart without them. It's just listening to good advice from someone to whom your success mattered to her." Finn sat silently for a moment. Then he stood up and handed Daria a few pages of notebook paper.

"What are these?" Daria asked.

"Directions. To Ashfield Community for the Arts. And don't bitch about my handwriting, I'm not re-writing it for you."

"Thanks." Daria stood up and started to leave. Finn sat down at his desk and opened up his desk organizer.

"Hey, Finn?" Daria posed.

"Yes?"

"The Age of Innocence was better. You might like it more."

"Umm...okay. I still got practice with the guys later, and a...few other things. But...I'll see if I can put it in before school starts."

Daria nodded, and left the room. As she stepped outside, she witnessed her mother standing nearby, eavesdropping on the entire thing.

"Miss Manners might have a word or two about that." Daria remarked. "Can I..."

"Tomorrow you can." Helen took the words out of Daria's mouth.

"I think Finn was looking for you." Daria headed downstairs to get herself a soda, and looked outside the window. She had told herself that this was only to get Finn to give her Jane's location. But the fact that Finn had cheered up did not make Daria sad.

"_I'm getting soft_." Daria thought. Cheering Finn up, and having Finn, to her surprise, cheer her up too, made Daria believe for a moment that she could have done a lot worse when it came to having a brother.

* * *

The next day, Daria awoke around noon. She re-copied Finn's instructions so she could better read them on the fly, and she headed out the door soon after dressing, brushing her teeth, and eating a quick breakfast.

Ashfield Community for the Arts was pretty far away, and it took over two hours to reach it. Once there, Daria wondered, if, perhaps, she should have called first. But she remembered that Jane did not offer the number to the place to her. Perhaps Finn knew it, but he had not shared it with her, and Daria, once she had the directions, had forgotten to press him about it.

She received directions to the female cabin, and knocked on the door. To her surprise, Jane answered.

"Hey." Jane replied without a look of surprise.

"Either you saw me walking up or you have the best damn poker face I've ever seen." Daria noted.

"Finn called me last night, told me you were coming."

"A warning?" Daria remarked.

"Preparation."

"Did he tell you anything else?"

"Only that if I did kill you, to come over and clean all your crap out. He wants to turn your room into a home gym. Says he'll make sure your father does the necessary exercises he was supposed to do after the heart attack." Jane shrugged.

"Underneath that cruel exterior, he's got a heart of solid stone." Daria remarked. "So, he didn't inform you of any social events."

"We didn't talk long. Why, something I should know?" Jane asked.

"I'd rather hear how you have been first."

"Curious now." Jane remarked. "But I'm alright. I'm learning a valuable lesson about the way the art world, and artists, really work. Suffice it to say, I'm buying a chastity belt." Daria stared at Jane.

"Sounds like you had a thoroughly awful time. I wish you had told me. I would have brought some extra gasoline."

"With my luck, it would just arouse them. Anyway, what was the thing you wanted to tell me?"

"Tom and I broke up." Daria sighed. Jane's expression was as blank as one of her canvases.

"You seem to be taking this rather well. Or is it a form of expressionism?"

"Daria, you're asking me for sympathy when your boyfriend dumped me and than made out with you two seconds later." Jame reminded

"Haven't we been over this?" Daria asked.

"Not enough, apparently."

"Hey, if you recall, Tom dumped you because you kept blowing him off to spend time with my brother, his best friend. What was he supposed to think?"

"I don't admit to being perfect, Daria, and I know I'm responsible for what happened to my relationship. But Daria, seriously!"

"Seriously what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Apparently, yes. Jane, I was the luckiest person in the world to get you as a friend, and now this came along and screwed everything up, and I just want to deal with it and stop the problem so we can be friends again." Daria exasperated. Jane's eyes widened.

"You really feel that way?" Jane noted.

"You think I didn't want to be friends with you. Look, I'm not sure if I said it before, but I'm sorry I made you feel like that."

"Like what?"

"That your boyfriend dumped you for me." Daria remarked. "I've...I've had a crappy summer, and I really missed you."

"Well, I guess I did come down kinda hard on you." Jane remarked. Daria got the sense there was something Jane was not telling her, but decided not to press it at the moment. Jane, however, seemed to cheer up. Was she feeling bad about not seeing Daria too? Daria supposed she was flattered.

"I wish I came to see you earlier." Daria remarked.

"Yeah. How's Finn?" Jane asked.

"Finn...had a rough summer too."

"He and Tom haven't patched things up?"

"No." Daria answered. "But that's not the reason why. I don't think." Daria told Jane the story of Finn and his tutor.

"Wow." Jane remarked. "Poor guy."

"Let's not discuss Finn." Daria noted. "So, do you hate me?"

"You know, Tom asked me that same question." Jane noted. "No, Daria. I don't hate you, This time away crap just made it worse. I'm glad you came here."

"Oh." Daria was taken aback by the praise. "Well, thanks. I'm glad I came too. To think, this was all it took. I should have asked Finn for it earlier."

"My damn ego would never have let us do it." Jane remarked. "Anyway, now that this is over with, let's get pizza. I'm eager to eat with another human being."

"You didn't make any friends here?" Daria stated with disbelief.

"Well, when Finn came around, there was a girl named Allison who was kinda cool, but then things got weird."

"How do things get weird."

"Remember what I told you about the way the art world works?" Jane asked.

"Y...yeah." Daria wasn't sure she wanted to her this part.

"Let's just say she likes all thirty-one flavors at Baskin Robbins." Jane commented.

* * *

With Daria gone, Helen knocked on the door to Finn's room. She wanted some private time with her son. She had heard Daria and Finn talk the previous night, but there was more Finn needed than simply this.

"It's open." Helen opened the door. Finn appeared to be in the middle of his workout. Even with all the tutoring, he still never neglected his own training. Helen wondered if he would schedule his tutoring with the same vigor.

"Yes?" Finn did not stop his workout, but he looked at his mother while he did squats.

"Finn, now that your tutoring is over, I wanted to ask you about it."

"Didn't you talk with Sierra about it?"

"Sierra wouldn't tell me. She said her work is only with the pupil."

"That sounds like her." Finn, noticing the conversation would be long, stopped doing his squats. "Anyway, my notebooks are on the table. Feel free to look through them."

"Finn, I'm asking you." Helen remarked.

"Oh? Well, it went alright. Without new PSTAT's I really couldn't tell you how well. I'm no good at that measuring crap."

"Finn, I always knew you could do it."

"Eh, thanks." Finn brushed off the praise.

"I mean it, Finn. It was never a matter of can or can not, it was always about effort.'

"If you say so." There was quiet between the two of them for a moment.

"I get the feeling you didn't come in here to talk to me about tutoring." Finn asked.

"Not quite. I did want to ask, but that wasn't all." Helen answered.

"And?"

"About the whole Daria and Tom thing." Helen remarked. "Your sister was very beaten up about it."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Finn posed. "I'm not going to not call her out for it."

"I'm not talking about that, Finn. I wanted to know how it made you feel." Helen answered. Finn's eyes widened.

"Well...I don't really wanna talk about it." Finn shrugged.

"Finn, don't pretend like it doesn't bother you."

"You don't know the half of it."

"So tell me." Helen directed.

"You're sure persistent. I already said I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because...because I messed up. It's all my fault. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No, Finn." Helen remarked. "Why would you think this is your fault?"

"Mom, there's...there's..."

"Finn, you've been sitting on this all summer, and you're miserable." Helen said soothingly. "And you haven't found the answer."

"That's...kinda why I was going to ask you. I wanted to visit Aunt Rita." Finn remarked.

"_There he goes, running off to Rita again._" Helen thought. Perhaps Rita could help him with the problem. She did have a certain way with him, not that Helen could approve of her influence on him when he wasn't in a crisis.

"Finn, I'm right here." Helen remarked. "I was able to..." She was about to mention that she did help Daria out with some advice, but decided against it. She learned her lesson comparing her two children in any way, shape, of form.

"It's...it's complicated." Finn remarked sadly. "It's complicated." Helen never minded complicated. She hated things that were simple. But she kept that fact to herself, lest Finn get the wrong impression.

"Start from the beginning, then." Helen ordered. She took a seat.

* * *

Helen never realized that Finn, in actuality, had blamed himself for breaking up Jane and Tom. She did, however, get the sense there was even more to the story than Finn was letting on. But, she could deal with that later.

"Finn, you're being too hard on yourself." Helen remarked.

"I mean, I still blame Daria and Tom for that whole kiss thing, but..."

"Finn, I don't think Trent was trying to guilt you in feeling bad. I think you should have realized things just as he said, but, Finn, Jane made the conscious decisions. She did what she did."

"Oh." Finn remarked. "God, just being offended by Daria and Tom was so much easier."

"Possibly, but wasn't it very lonely not to have your friend around?" Helen asked. Finn hugged his knees to his chest and looked dismayed. All the answer Helen needed.

"Finn, if you're asking my advice, you should really make peace with Tom."

"But I'm such an asshole, and Tom blames me for it, I just know it."

"Finn, I said before you're blaming yourself for all this. Besides, I think Tom could use a friendly face." Finn was silent for a moment.

"You will feel better, I'm sure of it." Helen sat closer to her son. "And what about Jane?"

"What about Jane?" Finn got a little defensive.

"How do you feel about Jane?"

"I...I don't know. She's awesome, there's no denying that. But..."

"Finn, I don't believe she blames you for it either."

"It's not that. It's just...I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. I just want...I just want...I want this whole awful affair to be over so I can get on with other stuff."

"Jane will be back when she gets back. In the meantime, Finn, I suggest you..." Helen started, but she could see Finn thinking. She knew what he would do.

"Finn, I'm very proud that you stuck with your tutoring, and that you've learned more than just the book work. And so is your father. He started talking about All-American this and that, and things I don't really get."

"Really?" Finn remarked.

"This next year, Finn, will be one of the greatest years of your life. I just know it. Now, get back to your workout." Helen left the room with a smile on her face. She knew she could face the world head held high tomorrow, for she had helped both of her children when they needed it most.

* * *

Jake Morgendorffer was back from a consulting job not an hour later. Finn greeted him with a smile and eager conversation. He wanted to borrow the car, but he also wanted to speak to his father. His father only confirmed what his mother told him about the tutoring.

"I always knew you could do it, Finn. You're so much brighter than your old man."

"Dad, don't..." Finn started, but stopped. Even if Finn was much better at properly delivering it, Jake Morgendorffer did not do well with praise.

After borrowing the Lexus, Finn knew where he was going. He drove just a little out of town to the more country areas. The place was quite lovely in summer, with lots of trees and fields of crops. But even further than that were the wooded acres of Lawndale's social elite. Tom made his way towards Stately Sloane Manor, his teasing name for Tom's house. Finn rang the doorbell, and Kay Sloane answered.

"Oh? Finn, how are you. Oh, dear, I must look a fright, I wasn't expecting any visitors."

"It's all right, Mrs. Sloane." Finn answered politely. "With your hair down like that, it shaves at least five years off."

"Oh." Kay chuckled, as all older women did when told they looked younger. "Shall I summon Tom?" Did she not know of their rocky relationship?

"_Of course not, Tom tells his mother nothing_."

"I'll go up." Finn offered. "I know the way." Finn strode up the steps, past Elsie's room, and towards Tom's, where Finn knocked. Tom answered the door holding a book in his hand. Finn couldn't catch the title, but it seemed to be a history book.

"Hey." Finn remarked. Tom's was taken by surprise.

"Pizza?" Finn offered.

"You're offering?" Tom seemed surprised.

"Don't be an ass. Come on, let's go."

* * *

Tom and Finn did not go for pizza, and in truth, Finn was not hungry enough to eat. Instead, the two of them found their way outside. The Sloanes countryside manor was something impressive. It wasn't large enough to get lost in the wooded acres, but it was easy to have privacy and be out of sight.

Tom, too, was more comfortable outdoors. Tom lead Finn towards a very large tree. It looked like, at one point, it held a little treehouse. But now it just had wide, large branches. Tom climbed into it and sat on the thick branch. Finn just leaned against the trunk.

"How have you been?" Finn asked.

"It's been a long summer." Tom remarked.

"I understand you and Daria..." Finn started, but he stopped. He wasn't here to talk about Daria.

"You look well." Tom remarked. Was their relationship so cold?

"Did I break you and Jane up?" Finn asked. He looked at Tom as he asked, and the rich boy's eyes widened. He repositioned himself on the branch, worried about falling.

"Of all the things I was expecting you to say, that was not one of them. Why would you think that?" Tom remarked.

"The whole flirting she and I did, Jane blowing you off. The fact that I didn't stop Jane from blowing you off."

"Order Jane around? You're not that powerful." Tom remarked.

"I mean, I really could have put my foot down about it. I should have."

"Maybe." Tom remarked. "But no, Finn. I'm pretty pissed that that is what happened, but you didn't break us up for not stopping it."

There was silence between the two men.

"Was that why you never stopped by? Because you thought that?" Tom asked.

"Not all of it." Finn admitted. "I'm still pretty pissed you kissed Daria."

"What more do you want, Finn?" Tom remarked.

"The only thing I want is to know what possessed you to think that some girl was worth destroying such an important friendship." Finn looked at the ground. There was silence.

"You know, I didn't kiss Daria wanting us to not be friends anymore." Tom remarked. "I like having you as a friend, Finn. You said before you wanted a big brother just like me, well, I wanted a little brother too. Nothing's better for your ego than having a little brother look up to you."

Finn laughed a little.

"Ass. This is serious." Finn chastised through his laugh.

"Look, I know I was a real idiot." Tom remarked. "And yeah, I was pretty ticked off that Jane kept blowing me off, and some of that may have translated over to you. But you're putting an inordinate amount of blame on yourself. Forgive yourself, just as I have. Don't worry about it."

Finn was silent, and Tom jumped down from the tree. He extended his hand for a handshake.

"I am...I'm still kinda angry. But..." Finn took Tom's hand.

"I'm working on it. I'm...I'm working on it."

"So." Tom changed the topic. "How did tutoring go?"

"That's a long story."

"Well, we still have a camping trip to plan."

"Let's pick a weekend after school starts. First one. There's a few things that I need to take care off first. Making sure that tutoring paid off is only the first."

"Sure." Tom smiled. The two did not move for a moment, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"Finn?" Tom asked.

"Yes?"

"If I was considering getting back with Daria, what would you say?" Tom asked.

"I'd say that's between you and her. I'm hardly the person to ask for an opinion."

* * *

The weeks before school started passed a lot more swiftly, but there was one thing that Finn needed to do before he left. The evening of the day before school started, he knocked on the door of Casa Lane. Trent, to Finn's surprise answered the door.

"Hey, man." The musician greeted pleasantly.

"Hey, Trent. Got a present for you." Finn handled Trent a bottle. He opened the cork and took a sniff.

"It's vodka." Finn remarked. "Figured I owed you after all you've helped me with."

"Huh?" Trent remarked. Finn laughed to himself. That was Trent in a nutshell, who acted precisely when he meant to and never anytime else.

"Is Jane around?"

"I think she's in her room. I'm gonna go polish this." Trent started drinking from the bottle as Finn headed upstairs to Jane's room. He knocked, she answered. She seemed surprised to see him, and invited him in. The two took a seat on the bed.

"How was the rest of the camp?" Finn asked pleasantly.

"A living nightmare." Jane answered bluntly. "How was tutoring?"

"Enlightening. Is that the word?"

"If it did what Daria seems to think it did."

"You talked about it?"

"I asked." Jane clarified. "I'm glad...you did well."

"Sierra...she wasn't my tutor, she was my mentor." Finn noted with a bit of reverence. Truly, Sierra Riordan had done more for Finn than he could have anticipated. After the camping trip with Tom, he would call her. Finn so rarely called other girls unless he needed something. But Sierra was different.

"So, what happens now?" Jane asked. "About...what happened at the camp?"

"I was kind of hoping you'd know." Finn remarked.

"I'm sorry." Jane remarked.

"Don't be. It wasn't like you offended me. Damn, though, you're a good kisser." Finn praised.

"That's what Tom said." Jane joked.

"Okay, now that was awkward."

"But it's okay." Finn soothed. "I'm not angry, and I'm not sorry. I do like you, Jane, I do. It's...it's just."

"Daria will castrate you with a pair of rusty gardening shears." Jane finished.

"Need you be so graphic? Now I'm going to have to check every morning. But...but yeah. I care about you, Jane, I really do. You've done more than you realize for me, and I'm truly, truly grateful. But I don't think dating is the right thing for us to do, not now, at least."

"You know, a part of me did know that." Jane admitted. "You couldn't get through an art museum without being bored, and I don't like football. We don't have a whole lot in common. I...I guess I just liked the thought that you liked me. Mr. Big Man on Campus interested in little old me? Made me feel special. And hey, doing stuff around you made high school more bearable."

"But we're friends, we are. More than friends." Finn admitted. "I don't know where exactly it'll go from here, but I'd do a lot of things for you. I just hope it's half as important as what you've done for me."

"I'm glad...I'm glad that you and Tom patched things up." Jane remarked. "You look...you look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

"You and Daria...you two fixed yourselves up too." Finn remarked.

"How'd you know that? Tom told me about you guys, but...'

"I learned I don't have to be dumb if I don't want to. Besides, where do you think Daria got the directions to your camp from?"

"Heh." Jane remarked. Then, Finn brought her into an embrace and kissed her. Not as forcefully as he did at the camp, but certainly more gracefully and with more passion. It was infinitely more intimate.

"Well." Finn stood up. "I've got some things to fix up for tomorrow. See you later?"

"Yeah." Jane smiled. Finn left the room. And, that last night of the summer, even though Finn would have to awaken early for school, was the most restful night he ever had.

* * *

Finn's new 1st period was with Anthony DeMartino. Such an unusual teacher to have first thing in the morning, but Finn reasoned that it was probably for the best that a teacher he respected was to be seen first.

"And, so, which of you brain-atrophied adolescents wants to give me the definition of Manifest Destiny?" The teacher addressed the crowd. He must have had a freshman homeroom, for there was a lot of venom dripping already.

For a second, Finn hesitated. His classmates were, for the most part, the exact same as they always were. They spoke of the exact same things, worshiped the same gods of shallowness and narcissism, and Tiffany was already doing her nails.

But Finn, despite his heart pounding a little hard, rose his hand.

"Yes, Mister Morgendorffer?" Mr. DeMartino asked. "Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Manifest Destiny is a term used to tell Americans that it was God's will to expand west to reach the Pacific Ocean. After all, what's America if you can't have Pam Anderson bouncing in slo-mo on the sources of Malibu?"

"Well now, Finn, that's very good. Now, does anyone know the war that Manifest Destiny played a huge part in." DeMartino asked the rest of the class. Finn knew the answer, but he kept his mouth shut. A moment after DeMartino asked his question, Jamie answered.

"Yes, Mister White?"

"It was the Mexico-America War." He answered.

"Mostly correct. You use the adjective forms, son, not the noun." Mr. DeMartino remarked. Finn could see that, even though Jamie got that part wrong, the fact that he knew the correct answer, and was willing to state it, seemed to override a simple grammatical problem.

"Wasn't there also a big problem in Oregon about Manifest Destiny?" Jeffy asked.

"In...indeed." Mr. D was shocked that another student actually volunteered a legitimate question.

"Why was that?" Joey asked. "I thought it was about getting all of it. The Fifty-Four Forty or Bust thing, right?"

"It was "Or Fight", Mr. Nelson, but you did get the numbers right. There's a number of reasons..." The teacher continued. "The Mexican-American War, for one."

"Wasn't there a thing during World War I about how if Mexico would declare war against the US, Germany would get them all that territory back they lost in that war?" Jeffy asked.

"The Zimmermann Telegram." Finn answered it.

"Correct, Mister Morgendorffer. But let's stick to the topic at hand." Mr. DeMartino eyes bulged, but not in his usual frustration. As the teacher calmed the four football players down, he locked eyes with Finn, whom he could figure was the leader or not.

"_Do you approve_?" Finn asked the teacher wordlessly.

"Thank you, students." The teacher addressed Finn's silent question to the four players. "For making my day rewarding."

* * *

There was a lot of waves being made by Finn during classes. The students talked, but no one talked to Finn about it, and no one called him any names. After all, Finn was still the varsity quarterback and the school's most popular guy. He didn't seem ashamed.

Mack shot Finn an approving glance, but the only person who talked to him was Stacy, who walked with him to art class with Ms. Defoe.

"So I take it the tutoring went well?" Stacy asked him pleasantly.

"I wish I had seen you at Jodie's party. I would have given you the number."

"I didn't go." Stacy remarked. "I had to work over the summer. But maybe you could help me with a few things."

"Well, I don't know how good I'd be at that. But if we do it'll have to be later on. I've got plans tonight and this weekend already."

"Oh. Well, okay, Finn. Just let me know. Jack Davenport's waiting by my locker, oh, I've got to go, I'll see you." Stacy darted off to meet a suitor of hers. Finn continued to stride down the hall with his head held high.

Finn didn't have football practice the last day of school. And he never dated the first week in, although he still got the usual requests. He had made his own special sort of plans tonight.

* * *

After school ended, he drove out to the boxing ring owned by Coach Stevenson, where Finn did all his practicing. Normally, Finn went there alone, or with the coach. The school's boxing team was not that big. But now, he was with a friend, an amateur.

"I'm still not sure why you convinced me to do this." Tom remarked. Both he and Finn were dressed in just boxing trunks, and stood on opposite edges of the ring.

"It's therapeutic." Finn returned.

"You said that, but I've never done it before."

"Then why don't you trust me. I've settled grudges this way."

"Hey, I said I forgave you." Tom noted.

"Forgiving is one thing, not being angry is another. Part of you is still angry, don't even deny it." Finn answered.

"So you're really okay with me and Daria trying again?" Tom asked, dropping the topic when he knew Finn was right. It seemed Finn knew why Tom was late in getting to the ring.

"Like I said." Finn noted. "None of my business." There were no more words to be said. Both men put in their mouth-guards, and put on their boxing gloves. Somewhere in their minds, they heard a bell ring.

Tom had never fought in a ring like this before, Finn knew that much. But Tom was no slouch. His left jab came out quicker than Finn anticipated. But Finn knew how to handle that, and adapted his own strategy. An hour passed. Tom punched Finn, and Finn punched Tom. By the time the two of them were finished, they were both out of breath, bleeding, and scuffed up. A good uppercut by Finn knocked Tom's jaw a little out of place. But all of their angry dissipated with the blows, and at the end, there was nothing left but brotherhood.


	34. A Few Cans of Soda

Sierra's lectures proved to be fruitful for Finn. While the schoolwork wasn't any more interesting his junior year than it was his sophomore year, it was easier to perform, and Finn's own marks reflected that. While he did have to repurpose some of his dating time, his football schedule could remain the exact same as it was beforehand.

It was just as well that Finn couldn't date as much. After the whole thing with Jane, dating was less on Finn's mind than it was before. And, to his surprise, Finn didn't care much about it. He preferred to spend his time around other people he enjoyed more.

Finn tried to pay attention in Barch's class, but it was difficult. For all of Finn's changes over the summer, Barch was the same rabid bitch she always was. She seemed to take offense at the fact that Finn and his buddies were succeeded and answering questions properly. She didn't have any recourse: Cytosine bonded to guanine and there was no way Barch could mark that wrong on a test, but her attitude was still insufferable.

Barch had what was supposed to be a cross-section of the human eye to show all of it's parts. Finn tried to ignore the "rovving male eye" comments and focus on the actual work, but something about it was difficult.

"_It's the figure._" Finn reasoned. The cross-section of the eye was a Styrofoam ball cut in half with parts drawn in marker. It could have been made by an elementary school student.

"Ask her about it." Finn nudged Stacy as quietly as he could. No reason for Barch to be offended by an XY calling her out, and getting a severe punishment.

Stacy nodded, and rose her hand.

"Yes, Miss Rowe?" Barch asked.

"It's hard to make out anything with that eye. Where is the retina again?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Rowe." Barch was not sarcastic with Stacy, she would never be to a female asking a question.

"Thanks to the lousy budget cuts, I have to make all of the learning aides myself. Damn Li and her damn budget. You know a man drew that one up." She derided. Finn ignored her.

* * *

During lunch, Finn's buddies chatted about the lack of quality supplies in their other classes as well.

"DeMartino's class is pretty hard to understand when the maps still call it the Soviet Union." Finn commented.

"It's no better in O'Neill's." Jeffy returned. "I couldn't read anything."

"What the hell is Li doing with the school's budget anyway? And what about Mrs. Bennett? She knows economics." Joey answered. Ever since Finn returned to school, he had gained a newfound respect for Mrs. Bennett. She wasn't DeMartino or DeFoe, but Finn could respect her high aptitude for numbers. And her board diagrams were a lot like football strategy.

"I hope this doesn't affect the team." Jamie remarked. Finn could understand. If the class ever started to suck, like Barch's did, he could always take his positively ancient textbook home and use it there. Football, there was no such luck.

"Well, considering the football team puts the trophies in the case, I don't think we have anything to worry about." Finn tried to cheer his buddy up. But Finn looked at his tray of school food, noticed it's abhorrent awfulness, even worse than usual, and couldn't believe his own words.

* * *

During practice that day, the face mask on Jamie's helmet finally gave up the ghost and broke off. It had always been a bit wobbly, but the coach had mentioned that if it was still working, there was no need to fix it.

"_I wonder who won the bet for that one_." Finn chuckled as Jamie picked up his broken face mask and walked towards Coach Gibson.

"Finally broke, did it?" Coach Gibson remarked.

"Where are the other helmets?" Jamie asked politely.

"Sorry, Jamie, don't have any. The budget cuts forced me to scrimp on, well, everything." Coach Gibson lamented.

"What happens now?" Finn asked. Jamie just couldn't play, he couldn't. His ability as a tight end was top-grade.

"Don't worry, I'm going to set Li straight as soon as this practice is over. For now, take five. I'll sub you in later." Coach Gibson remarked. With a sigh, Jamie walked off towards the bleachers. Finn took a look over at his buddy to see that Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill were sitting right above him. Finn was too far away to make out any words, but it seemed Ms. Li was not pleased to see Jamie benched like that. He had held up his face mask for Ms. Li, and she stood up in a rage.

"_Well, perhaps it won't be necessary for Coach after all._" Finn thought as he returned to throwing passes.

* * *

Nothing happened immediately after the practice ended, but according to the school gossip, there had been a strange man coming in and out of Ms. Li's office.

"_Heh, a secret lover? Wouldn't know who in their right minds would hit that, but some guys are desperate_." Finn chuckled to himself. He couldn't waste any time on it, though. Super Bowl Sunday was coming up, and Finn was all ready to throw a party. His mother would be at the office's Super Bowl Party, of course, and his father would be forced to go to it. Not that Finn necessarily blamed his father, a Super Bowl meant a party, and Jake would be out of place at a party Finn threw. Of course, since Finn's parties often involved underage drinking, adults would be a bad sign, even if it was Jake.

Daria would, of course, be with Jane. Jane only showed up at the football games for Finn's sake, she had no interest in the sport herself. Finn was a loud football watcher, and Finn knew Daria would never stick around the house and listen to his shouts. So she's be gone. There would be a house to himself.

"_I'd be stupid not to throw one_." Finn already invited most of the football team, as well as Tom. The thoughts of the party occupied his thoughts, so he barely paid attention when Ms. Li had a very soft announcement made at the end of the school.

"_Did she say something about a school review meeting? On Super Bowl Sunday? That's gotta be some kind of crime_." Finn thought to himself. Finn already made plans, but even if he didn't, who in their right mind would attend something that useless on Super Bowl Sunday and miss the kickoff?

* * *

Daria, apparently, for she brought up the topic that night at dinner. Finn kept quiet regarding his Super Bowl plans. His parents would know that he was going to a party to watch the game. They just didn't know it would be in the Morgendorffer house.

"Ms. Li's trying to pull something." Daria remarked as she informed her parents about the meeting. "No one's going to be there, she has free reign. I smell a trap."

"Didn't Woodrow Wilson do something like that?" Finn asked.

"You know that? Forget Ms. Li, the insanity has spread."

"You do know that it's the day of the Super Bowl, right?"

"Precisely why someone should go." Daria remarked.

"So go, if you're that worked up."

"Why should I go?"

"You won't be watching the game." Finn answered. "Jeez, Daria, you complain all the time about this sort of crap and you never do anything about it. If you feel that strongly, you do it."

"I agree." Helen chimed in. "I'm so glad that you're taking an interest, Daria. But if you think it's a problem, then your civic duty is to ascertain the problem for yourself."

Daria sighed and ate her lasagna.

* * *

There was something very different about Lawndale High when Finn came into the school after the weekend's end. The school was still in poor condition, so whatever that school review meeting was about, it didn't seem to produce the desired results.

Unless, of course, those desires included Ultra-Cola. There were banners, posters, and quite a number of machines for Finn's favorite soda plastered all over the hallway.

"_This is what you spent your money on?_" Finn thought derisively. While it would be cool to get a soda between classes, it certainly didn't need to go to this extent. And the posters just looked tacky.

"_With that shade of green, what would you expect_?" Finn thought as he walked down the hall, coming up to Kevin and Brittany.

"Hi, Finn!" Brittany remarked pleasantly. She and Kevin both had sodas.

"Good morning. There's a lot of soda machines here." Finn returned.

"Isn't it great!" Kevin cheered. "Now we can get soda anytime we want. And Ms. Li said as long as it's these, we won't get in trouble for drinking them during class!"

"_That seems unnecessary_." Finn thought. "There were two in the cafeteria already. Are they, like, testing a new taste or something?" He addressed.

"Huh?" Brittany squeaked.

"Never mind." Finn went to the machine and got his own soda. He tasted it, and it tasted like any other Ultra-Cola he had ever drank.

"_Okay, that's not it._" Finn remarked to himself. "Anyway, did they explain all the unnecessary posters? I mean, we already know it's Ultra-Cola."

"Who cares." Kevin remarked. "All we have to do is drink soda."

"Didn't Daria also say you had to do something with our first child?" Brittany remarked. Finn's eyes widened.

"I won't even ask." Finn walked away from them. As he turned from the entrance atrium to the English wing, he saw even more posters and signs for Ultra-Cola. He threw his mostly full soda in the trash, losing his taste for it already.

* * *

There wasn't any soda machines in the classroom, thank goodness, but things really started to change when Finn hit practice. There were brand new helmets for each of the students.

"Great!" Jamie smiled as he put his new helmet on.

"And the towels they gave us are actually halfway-decent." Finn answered. Normally, the towels supplied to the students smelled like the bad end of a pig covered in mud.

"And the scoreboard, did you check that out?" Joey said amazedly.

"I saw Coach Gibson playing with it when I sat outside at study hall." Jeffy answered. "He was like a big kid."

"Where do you think they got all the money for all this? Li's cheap as balls. Except when it comes to those bomb-sniffing dogs. Aren't the police the only ones who are supposed to own them." Finn pondered.

"Does it matter?" Joey asked.

"Do you think it's from those soda machines?" Finn asked.

"Probably." Jeffy remarked.

"Don't you find those posters, like, really tacky. Cause I do. I mean, if Ultra-Cola's all they got here, why bother with those. You want a soda, you get Ultra-Cola."

"Wouldn't that, like, make it pointless? So it doesn't matter if they're there or not, right? If it gets us all those things, let `em do whatever they want. I mean, it's not like we have to drink it or anything." Joey remarked. Finn could not think of a response to that.

"I am kinda thirsty. I'm gonna grab one as soon as practice ends." Jamie noted. Finn sighed.

* * *

Practice ended the same time as always, and Finn headed home. Once he walked back home, he saw Tom walking into his car.

"_He and Daria, still dating, huh_." Tom and Daria kept their own affairs private, Daria never announced her dates. Finn and Tom chatted for a bit outside, but Tom had an errand to run, so it wasn't long before he climbed into the car and drove off. Finn entered the house to see Daria seated on the couch, watching that stupid TV show she always watched. Her fascination with Sick, Sad World mystified Finn. It just made him not want to eat his favorite foods.

Finn went to the kitchen to grab himself a soda. There were a few Ultra-Colas in the bottom bin, but after seeing them all at school today, he decided against it and grabbed a different brand. He walked back into the living room.

"No Ultra-Cola? Ms. Li's going to have an aneurysm." Daria quipped.

"We're not that lucky." Finn commented. "So you noticed all that stuff."

"I'm not blind." Daria remarked. "Do you think it's sleazy?"

"You're asking me?"

"Everyone else seems to love all that money that's coming in. They're okay with it."

"Tell me something new. Even Mr. D seemed happy to have new maps." Finn noted.

"Someone should do something about it."

"How, exactly, would you do that? It's not like you can cart all the machines away."

"Jodie mentioned that the superintendent would be the person to talk too." Daria explained.

"Cartwright?" Finn answered.

"You know him?"

"No, but I've heard Coach Gibson mention his name. He comes to the really big football games from time to time. Everyone just loves prestige, don't they?"

"That's perfect, then. I'll even cover for you if Mom wonders where you are."

"Huh?" Finn questioned.

"If you want directions to his office, just punch his name and title into the computer..."

"That's not what I meant." Finn protested. "You want me to do it?"

"Who else?"

"Uh, you."

"Me?" Daria was surprised.

"Seriously. The guys are really happy with all the new stuff coming in. Besides, it's just soda machines."

"There's more to it than that." Daria explained. "It's the advertising, the posters. They're treating our high school as a marketing demographic."

"Still, I can't ruin everything for them. And even you can't deny the advantages of having a map that doesn't separate into East and West Germany." Finn returned.

"At the expense of advertising inside the school."

"Daria, you drink soda."

"What the hell does that matter?" Daria shouted.

"I don't have a problem with the soda machines, and I think all the posters and stuff are tacky and stupid, but I don't really see the problem. We're not forced to drink it, we're not forced to spend our money on it. We don't want one, we walk on by. Not like they got rid of the water fountains."

"Finn, our school is endorsing a soda. Everywhere a student turns, they're going to see Ultra-Cola. And when they get thirsty, it's all they have to drink. You don't see the problem with it?"

"Hey, if it bothers you that much, you go to the Superintendent's office and complain."

"I don't get involved." Daria remarked.

"And why not?" Finn criticized. "You want something done, you do it."

"Well, let's see. I'm already a malcontent and a misfit, and this would just cement the deal."

"Jeez, Daria, you really don't care, do you. Not enough to do something about it." Finn continued to criticize.

"I do care. Unlike you, I don't think it's right for our school to become a shill."

"So do something about it. The only people who get to bitch are the people who do something." And Finn headed upstairs to his room, before realizing that, while it may not have been as severe as Daria's, he was bitching about it too.

"_Now what_?" Finn thought.

* * *

"_I still can't believe I am doing this_." Finn moaned aloud as he pulled his dad's Lexus into the parking lot. To his surprise, it was very easy to convince Jake to allow his children to go down to the Superintendent's office. Finn was certain that his father didn't exactly understand what was going on, but he would always do something like this for them.

"I'm still not sure why I'm supposed to come." Daria remarked.

"You're the one whose all upset about it." Finn pointed out.

"So then why are you here?"

"Quarterback support? Is there a word for that? Besides, who else would come with you?" That seemed to shut Daria up. Finn wasn't about to mention his own problems with this. She dealt with the receptionist while Finn thought in his head what exactly he was supposed to say. Finn had never met Superintendent Cartwright before, and he wasn't sure how exactly to approach him.

"_I'm no good at these serious talking things._" Finn thought as he waited in the lobby.

"Just go as soon as you're called. I'll wait in the car." Daria started. Finn grabbed her hand to stop her.

"You're not going anywhere." Finn replied. "You're not getting out of this." Daria sighed, and sat back down.

After quite a long time, Daria and Finn were called into the office.

"Hello, children." Superintendent Cartwright was an elderly man in a tuxedo. Finn might have commented on his fashion sense, but now was not the time for such a thing.

Daria explained the situation regarding the advertising. It was much better than Finn could do. Not that he'd admit that out loud.

"You're Finn Morgendorffer, Lawndale's quarterback? I almost didn't recognize you outside of your uniform."

"That's what they all say." Finn chuckled.

"Back to the topic..." Daria steered.

"Do you two children feel that strongly about some soda machines? Ms. Morgendorffer, I understand that you're lacking in extracurricular activities."

"I don't care about the soda machines." Daria returned. "I care about all the advertisements."

"And you, Mister Morgendorffer. I've noticed your impressive athletic record, but your academics are...lacking. I can help but wonder, Daria, is this just something to round out your college applications?"

"Huh?" Finn remarked.

"You've spoken very little, Mister Morgendorffer." Cartwright replied to Finn. "Is this an issue that you feel strongly against?"

"Of...of course." Finn remarked. "We shouldn't be sold things like this. It's a school, not a mall. All those posters and stuff? Completely unnecessary."

"You two, don't you drink soda?"

"Mr. Cartwright, it's completely ridiculous. You can't take two steps without a stupid Ultra-Cola posters staring you in the face."

"Surely the increase in budget has contributed positively to the school, hasn't it?" Cartwright asked. Finn could not disagree.

"Not in the way it needs to. Sure, I like having up-to-date maps in my history class. I like that I can highlight or dog-ear the pages my own copy of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. And that new scoreboard is kick-ass. But all the posters and advertisements have made things worse."

"How so, Mister Morgendorffer."

"You mean aside from being unsightly?" Finn remarked. "Well, I don't think the students should be treated as wallets with legs."

"That's not what's going on." Cartwright replied. "It's just about giving and getting a little. Lawndale is now running a surplus."

"Aren't the students fronting the bill for this?" Daria remarked. "What happens when no one buys any Ultra-Cola? You can't expect the company to simply front more money."

"I'll consider coming down to Lawndale High and seeing this supposedly garish design for myself. Good day, you two." Cartwright stood up, and Finn knew further discussion was pointless.

* * *

"Well, that went well." Daria noted sarcastically as Finn drove the Lexus. Finn did not like to talk and drive; eyes on the road was far too important.

"I hope you're not blaming me for this." Finn still managed to say, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Well, maybe you could have planned out what you were going to say."

"Daria, you were the one who objected to this. I just thought it was garish."

"So then, why did you even come in."

"Because you weren't going to. You didn't want to participate if you had to go by yourself. If word gets around, I'll be ruined. So until Cartwright gets off his ass, you keep your mouth shut that we did this."

"I've already forgotten." Daria remarked. Finn knew that she didn't want to be isolated out too, and he was grateful for it.

* * *

A month passed, and there was no hearing from Cartwright or anyone else about it. And when Finn walked into the classroom, and saw even more Ultra-Cola logos than before, he saw how futile his pressuring was. The school was a lot cleaner than before, and it seemed many busted things were fixed. Or maybe they were just covered up with the Ultra-Cola posters. Even the floor was painted the the logo.

"_Nothing good can come from this_." Finn thought as his buddies walked over to greet him.

"Good morning." Finn remarked. "I see the school got a makeover."

"Not just that, they got us those new digital tackling dummies!" Joey remarked excitedly. He had two Ultra-Colas, one in each hand, and he was double-fisting them.

"Digital tackling..." Finn started, but trailed off, for he saw Kevin in the hallways, wearing a new sort of uniform. Covered in the green squiggly pattern on the Ultra-Cola cans.

"Please tell me that's some sort of bizarre fashion statement." Finn gestured to the former quarterback.

"They got us new uniforms too!" Jamie remarked.

"Oh, you've got to be...they're not even yellow and blue. What the hell is the point of a uniform if they don't have the school colors." Finn groaned.

"Finn?" Joey asked.

"This is so...I can't believe this." Finn moaned. "Don't you guys see we're being used as mobile advertisements for a stupid soda company?" All three of his friends stared quizzically at him.

"Let me try it this way. What does Ultra-Cola have to do with our school?" Finn asked. Again, he was met with blank stares.

"_This must be how DeMartino feels._" Finn thought.

"I mean, I get that the whole logo thing is pointless, but didn't they pay for it? Doesn't that mean they get to choose how they look?" Joey remarked. His buddy had a legitimate point.

"It's not like the scoreboard says Ultra-Cola on it. Unless it does that thing it does during half-time." Jeffy continued. "Besides, all this stuff is good for the team."

"_Dammit, trapped by my own ethics_." Finn moaned to himself.

* * *

After seeing Mr. DeMartino attempt to teach with a globe shaped like a soda can, Finn was two steps away from skipping school. But first, he needed to speak with someone who could help him fix the problem. Finn knew that Daria would have already tried talking to Jodie, so she was out. Finn even skipped a class to speak to Mack in the lunchroom, but the Captain had no ideas. Apparently, he felt the same way as Jodie: The advertisements were sleazy as hell, but the money coming in was doing good for the school.

After school, there was a practice, where Ms. Li was addressing the football team.

"So, students, tell me? Do you like the new uniforms? The new scoreboard, and all the new things we've done for you?" Ms. Li was acting pleasant, and Finn was frightened.

"Ms. Li, if we call the Asian-American Women in Education Caucus too many times, they're going to get suspicious. And we probably should change the form letter." Finn tried to calm her. She was twitching as she stood, probably from having too much caffeine.

"I'm talking about the soda!" Ms. Li shouted. "Why are you ungrateful bastards not drinking your soda!"

"Because Ultra-Cola tastes like crap and turns your piss this weird color." Finn remarked. "I'm pretty sure it's not healthy."

"We can't have that, Mister Morgendorffer. We can't have you worried about some non-existent safety hazards."

"So glad you care that much." Finn asided, but Ms. Li continued as if she never heard him.

"Okay, all of you, listen up. Who here on the team has an average below C?" She addressed. Most of the team rose their hands.

"Oh, this is going to be easy..." Ms. Li rubbed her hands together.

"Umm...we can hear you talking, Ms. Li." Mack pointed out. She continued on, ignoring the captain.

"Who here has an average above C?" She asked. Mack and Finn were the only two to raise their hands.

"Alright then, for those of you who are below. If you drink 20 cans of Ultra Cola, I'll increase your average by a whole point."

"All right, easy A's!" A team member Finn couldn't remember noted.

"That's the way, boys. Go ahead and do it right now." Ms. Li dismissed the boys that rose their hands.

"Um...Ms. Li?" Finn remarked.

"Oh right, Mister Morgendorffer, Mister MacKenzie. You two...hmmm...how can I get you two to drink more Ultra-Cola..."

"We can still hear you." Finn echoed. "And don't you think it's unethical to change someone's grades on how much soda they drink. You're not supposed to buy an education."

"Mister Morgendorffer!" Ms. Li was indignant. "In fact, I have the perfect assignment for you. If you don't match what Kevin Thompson drinks, Lawndale's going to have a new star quarterback on the field." She delivered threateningly.

"Excuse me?" Finn remarked.

"Better get drinking, that kid's got a belly of lead." Ms. Li taunted. Finn didn't budge.

"Ms. Li, listen to yourself!"

"I don't have time to listen. I need to move some damn product!" Ms. Li shouted. "Let's see...Mister Mackenzie, I'll deal with you tomorrow. I'll think of something for you, but if you drink as much Ultra-Cola as you can tonight, it just might be easier tomorrow. And there's also that football scholarship you've been working for. Some participation might go a long way towards a principal's recommendation."

"Umm..." Mack started. Ms. Li's continued to pace, and her eyes finally settled on Jamie, Joey, and Jeffy, who had not left the bleachers.

"What are you three still doing here? Why aren't you with the rest of the team?"

"Umm...Ms Li?" Jeffy asked.

"What, Mister Mercer?"

"You know how you said that was for the kids who are below C, and then you asked who was above C? Well, I have a C." Jeffy was a little intimidated, not that Finn blamed him. Ms. Li was scary when she drank coffee. Drinking as much Ultra Cola as she did made her officially insane.

"Yeah, I have a C too!" Joey remarked. Jamie nodded. Ms. Li paused for a minute, as if considering what the boys had said. But she was quiet only for a second.

"Drink the soda, you assholes!"

* * *

After seeing Kevin in the cafeteria with the rest of the failing members of the football team, Finn opted to, silently, call Ms. Li's bluff. Kevin was drinking more Ultra-Cola than the rest of the team, and Finn knew he couldn't match that.

"_Of course, you drink that much soda, you're gonna barf. Right before a game, too. Heh, play my cards right_..." Finn thought. But Finn had little time for Kevin, he had to put a stop to Ms. Li. There was no way in hell Finn was going to let that caffeine-addled superbitch run free. As soon as the game was over, he needed a plan. Or rather, he needed to work out just what it was he needed to tell Cartwright once Finn made it to his office. He had already botched his first attempt with the man, not that Daria was of much help either.

"_Hmmm...Dammit, I don't have proof_." Finn cursed to himself. Ms. Li's blackmail was just spoken to him, it could too easily be denied. And with all the caffeine that chick was on, it could just be considered heat of the moment.

"_Although...I have an idea_." Finn darted down the hallway back towards Mr. D's classroom, hoping that the teacher would still be there. The door was open, but the teacher was no where to be found. Finn glanced around the classroom. It seemed that more "learning aides" had been placed since Finn saw Mr. D's class first period.

"Now I need a camera." Finn thought. But he didn't. Finn took a deep breath, sat down at his desk, shut his eyes, and tried to think, rolling through the words in his mouth of what he would say.

"Mister Morgendorffer?" Mr. D's voice jarred Finn from his thoughts.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Mister D." Finn remarked.

"Did you need something?"

"Ummm...well, I guess I can ask you...All these Ultra-Cola promotions and learning aides and all this..."

"Sycophantic bull!" Mr. D finished Finn's sentence expertly, although Finn wasn't sure if the teacher was trying to do so or merely venting his frustration. Either would be correct.

"How can we get rid of it?" Finn asked.

"If I knew, I would have done it already. I've already been discussing this with the other teachers."

"Even Barch?"

"Yes, I can understand how strange it might seem, but even Barch and I see eye to eye on this."

"I'm thinking about going to Superintendent Cartwright." Finn commented. "But I tried that already and it didn't work. He thought I didn't care about it, and that I wanted something academic to put on a college app."

Mister DeMartino did not say anything for a moment. He sat there, staring at his Ultra-Cola-shaped globe. Then he stood up, went into the back closet, and returned with an open cardboard box that appeared to be empty.

"Mister D?" Finn remarked, but he simply grumbled some muttered curses as he put the globe and a few other Ultra-Cola-related objects, that made even less sense than the globe, into the box.

"I'll pick up a few things for you. Pick it up tomorrow." Mister D instructed.

"Thanks!" Finn shouted. "But won't Ms. Li get mad not using the aides?"

"It's a matter of public safety. If I don't get rid of that stupid globe, I'm going to shove it so far up Angela's dress..."

"No need for a visual, I got it!" Finn interrupted.

"In the meantime, son, I suggest you practice what it is you want to say to the superintendent." Mister DeMartino offered before throwing more things in the box.

* * *

Finn had to hurry to make it to the field on time in time for the game, but once he made it there, he realized he wasn't the only tardy guy on the field. Mack was the only other Lawndale Lion in attendance.

"For a minute, I was worried about you." Mack remarked. "I thought you might have tried to take Ms. Li up on her offer."

"I saw what Kevin was drinking. I think I probably would have been green and bloated if I tried to do that." Finn returned. "Where's the team? They're not still drinking that soda, are they?"

"I don't think so. But if I remember correctly, Kevin was lying on one of the lunch tables groaning and holding his stomach."

"That's...why would he feel that way?" Finn remarked. Mack shot him a "why do you think" glare.

"Are they gonna be all right?"

"Probably, once they all barf." Mack remarked. "But Oakwood's not going to beat itself. And we're only two guys."

"Good as we are, we can't beat them." Finn agreed. "What now?" Finn stopped talking, for he heard Upchuck in the booth, who was apparently on the phone with Kevin.

"We have...tummy aches." Kevin's voice sounded over the speaker. Upchuck must have had him on the phone.

"_Tummy-ache? Could he sound less manly_?" Finn tried to tease, but Mack was still a little upset. Finn didn't blame him.

"This is ridiculous." Finn remarked to the crowd's boos.

"_Thanks again, Ms. Li._" Finn cursed.

* * *

That evening, Finn sat at his desk, trying to prepare the speech he would deliver to Superintendent Cartwright. He had never done this before, and the initial prospect of it was much more daunting than he thought.

There was a knock at his door, and Finn called for the person to enter before quickly returning to his work.

"Hey." Tom's voice called to Finn.

"Yo." Finn smiled.

"What's going on?"

"Writing a speech." Finn answered.

"Oh?" Tom noted. "This wouldn't have to do with Lawndale's forfeit, would it?"

"Not really. There's a lot more to it than that."

"The Ultra-Cola thing?" Tom asked.

"You...oh, Daria must have told you. That's it, yeah. I want to go back to the superintendent's office and show that guy this supposed good thing Ultra-Cola's done to our school."

"What's your plan of attack? All Daria told me was that your first attempt was met with failure."

"And I'm sure she blames me for that." Finn remarked sourly. "Anyway, Mister D's going to give me all the 'learning aides' Ultra-Cola gave us. Ms. Li also thought to increase the team's grades by having them drink the soda. I can't prove it, though, so I'm going to start with the learning aides and go from there. Hopefully, I can get the dumbass to listen enough to come down to the school and see it for himself." Tom silently processed all that Finn had told him.

"Is this the wrong thing to do?" Finn asked.

"Apparently not." Tom returned. "Your school and it's students are being used by soulless corporate suits to promote a brand of fizzy sugar water. Of course you should try and stop it."

"Thanks."

"Were you thinking that you were doing the wrong thing?" Tom asked.

"Well, not at first. When it was just the posters and stuff, it was honestly not worth getting my boxers in a bunch over. But now, the lessons and stuff are suffering. The Earth is not shaped like a soda can, dammit!"

"Well, if you want, I can look over your speech." Tom offered.

"You're not blowing off Daria, are you?"

"No, I was going to throw one impromptu, so there's no plans to ditch." Tom remarked. "Read it to me." He offered as he took a seat on the bed.

Finn smiled as he span around in his swivel chair. He was so glad that he patched things up with Tom.

* * *

The next day, Finn only stopped by the school to pick up the box of supplies Mister DeMartino had gotten for him. He had the soda-can globe, some model of the solar system, which reminded Finn of one of those things that span above a baby's crib, and some canvases from DeFoe. Apparently, one of the required learning exercises was to design a new design for the Ultra-Cola can.

As soon as the box was in hand, Finn grabbed it and headed off. Jeffy had lent Finn the use of his car; Finn had to remember to pick up a thank-you gift for him later.

Finn reached Cartwright's office by ten, and tried to wrestle an interview. He set up an appointment with the secretary, but Cartwright himself emerged from the door about ten minutes afterwards.

"Mr. Cartwright." Finn remarked respectfully.

"Oh?" The man was surprised. "Mister... Morgendorffer, it was. You've returned?"

"Yes, Mr. Cartwright, I wanted to talk to you more about the whole Ultra-Cola thing."

"Mister Morgendorffer, I can appreciate this renewed zeal, but I've already decided to have Leonard Lamm right a proposal for all of our schools."

"Mister Cartwright, have you even seen what Lawndale is like now?" Finn was starting to move into his speech, but Finn was worried he was sounding more impertinent than he should.

"Mister Morgendorffer..." The elderly man started. Finn stampeded over him.

"This isn't about a few tacky posters or more soda machines. Have you seen how Ultra-Cola took their promotions to the next level to get more sales?" Finn used language Tom helped him with.

"Take a look at these things." Finn offered the man the box of merchandise.

"That globe is what was used to teach history. That stupid thing of cans? That's supposed to be planets and their relative distance from the sun." Finn delivered his points.

"Mister Morgendorffer, I can appreciate you putting forth the effort you're putting into this, but I've got a number of meetings today. And you should be in school."

"Fine, suspend me, do whatever it is happens in this case." Finn returned. "But before you consider this proposal, you need to see what your pioneer school is doing. I know that it's a lot of money, however much the soda company gives, but it's not worth it. Not like this."

Superintendent Cartwright paused.

"Young man, I believe you need to get to school." He responded. Finn felt his heart sink.

"But, you do raise a valid point. I should at least see what this school has been doing before such a proposal becomes universal."

"Great!" Finn smiled. "I brought my car, we can go right now." While it was Jeffy's car, that detail was unnecessary now.

"Very...very well." The elderly man agreed.

* * *

Finn did not want to get chewed out for breaking the speed limits, so he drove slowly to Lawndale. He pulled into Jeffy's parking space, hoping the man didn't have some sort of encyclopedic knowledge of parking spaces, and would know who it really belonged to.

"Get ready." Finn told the man before opening the double doors leading into the school.

Finn was almost expecting the school's hallways to be normal, as if the whole thing was some sick joke being played on him. But the Ultra-Cola merchandise was still there. However, the bedlam seen before Finn was not something he could have anticipated. Students were in the hallways, crowded around Ultra-Cola machines, which were busted in the front. Soda cans were splayed out all over the floor.

Ms. Li was standing at the machine closest to the door. She had an axe in her hands and she was attacking the soda machine.

Finn looked towards Superintendent Cartwright, who was surprised and aghast at what happened.

"This didn't happen before." Finn clarified for the man.

"_But it sure as hell got the point across. Just don't ask me to stop that_." Finn thought with a satisfied smile.

* * *

The next day was declared off for the students, but the day after, Finn returned to a bare hallway. No more of that Ultra-Cola crap anywhere to be scene, except for the two machines in the cafeteria.

"_Ah, sweet victory_." Finn remarked. He walked down the hallway, and came across Jane.

"Hey." She noted with a smile.

"How are ya?" Finn asked.

"Better now that all that Ultra-Cola crap is done. I take it that was your doing?"

"Why would you say that?"

"I saw you come in with that guy in the tuxedo. Daria told me he was the superintendent." Jane answered.

"Relax." She quickly covered. "Daria and I were the only ones who saw. Everyone else was getting free soda."

"Good." Finn remarked. "People might get mad. Still, at least they fixed the building up. They can't take that back unless they damaged it. Then, vandalism."

"Still, I'm happy. The posters and crap are gone, we're back to our uniforms and I don't need to drink five gallons of soda to play football. Only downside is they released Ms. Li from the hospital."

"There's no justice in this world." Jane remarked. "But you know, I'm glad you stuck your neck out."

"Tom said that too. And Mister D. You know, I think I'm starting to get the hang of this stuff."

"What stuff?" Jane asked.

"You know. Looking around and seeing something bad, then trying to stop it. I mean, it might not look like it's hurting someone, but things can spiral out of control real bad. Like that crazy bitch with an axe."

"Initiative a creepy drug, Morgendorffer. But I'm glad things worked for you. For the record, I'm glad you did it too." Finn smiled, Jane smiled. And then they both blushed a bit before Jane gave Finn a quick peck on the cheek before darting off down to class.

Finn stumbled a bit, catching himself on the locker. He could barely feel his heart going a-flutter. He took in deep breaths. Did Jane just kiss him in public?

It didn't bother him at all.


	35. That Fat Chick

"Anything you want, Stacy." Finn spoke sweetly to his close friend as she very closely examined the bottle of perfume and fragrance. It wasn't Stacy's birthday, or some sort of anniversary. Stacy hadn't even gotten Finn a remarkable gift or anything. The two of them had made plans to do some shopping this day, and as they passed by the makeup counters, Finn decided to get Stacy a gift. That was all.

"Wow, thank you Finn." Stacy knew Finn enough to know when he meant something. Of course, he would never say such a thing unless he did mean it. Stacy bent down at the glass counter to carefully make her selection.

"Is there something I might help with?" The elderly sales lady asked.

"_It is such a shame Cashman's doesn't hire people my age._" Finn thought. A job like this would be perfect for Stacy. To work at a counter, her personality overflowing. Helping people bring out best features, or minimize their worst. It was something she knew. And, for the most part, she had the confidence to actually speak and give the advice.

"We're good, thanks." Finn remarked. Stacy picked out a fairly nice, but economical, bottle of perfume.

"_And yet another reason why I like shopping with you_." Most girls at Lawndale, were they given carte blanche to pick what they want, would pick the most expensive thing on the menu. As if it was payment for the "privilege" of being allowed to accompany her. But not Stacy. She accepted the use of another's generosity, but she did not abuse it.

"That's a good scent." The sales lady remarked as she rang up the sale.

"Thank you." Stacy smiled. Purchase in hand, Stacy and Finn exited Cashman's in order to make their way to the food court. The lunch rush was over, and now the two could get decent seats without having to worry about settling one with crumbs and leftover napkins on it.

* * *

As Finn and Stacy left Cashman's, they encountered a group of people they knew far too well. The Fashion Club strode up to meet them, all three of them. Brooke had a pleasant smile on her face, as she always did. Tiffany was walking and doing her eyelashes at the same time, and Sandi, who was every bit as alpha bitch as she was when Finn first met her, strode confidently towards the two of them.

"Take a look girls, it's Stacy." Sandi noted derisively.

"Congratulations, you're not blind. Despite all evidence to the contrary. By which I mean your outfit." Finn noted sourly. Whenever Sandi spoke, trouble would only follow. It would serve Finn to steer the conversation.

"What brings you girls here?" Stacy was extremely pleasant. While she and Sandi were not friends by any stretch of the imagination, Stacy always seemed to make it a point to treat Sandi with politeness. Why was something that mystified Finn to no end, but it existed.

"We are shopping." Tiffany remarked blankly at Finn. Finn always marveled at the fact that, despite Sandi's class A bitch cruelty, Finn was still able to get Tiffany and Brooke to do whatever it was he wanted. After all, Tiffany dyed Jane's hair last year merely on Finn's request. He had said he would date her, but Tiffany was late for it, as she spent too much time on her makeup. Finn never tolerated that, and cancelled it right then and there.

"Wonderful. I guess you'll need a new outfit, won't you, Sandi?" Finn asked. Tiffany and Brooke left Stacy alone, and Finn gave them the same courtesy. But Sandi, the scorned woman, as it were, always tried to make Stacy look bad. Either through calling out a fashion faux-pas she had made an eternity ago or spreading some nasty rumor. It seemed Sandi wanted nothing more than to totally and irrevocably crush Stacy and regain her status as Lawndale's Queen Bee.

"_Not a chance_." Finn thought. "_Not if I have anything to say about it._" Finn always found it odd that Sandi never went after him like she did to Stacy. While Finn had never expressly stated that he was the one who broke Stacy from Sandi's clutches, she must have suspected.

Finn was the one who insisted that Stacy never reveal that he helped her like he did. It was Stacy herself who stood up to Sandi: Finn just gave her a makeover and a figurative slap across the face.

"_Or maybe you don't know. You are pretty brainless_." Finn thought. He had no desire to show Sandi any kindness.

"Gee, Stacy, what an interesting selection of perfume you have purchased today." Sandi remarked, looking at the bag Stacy was holding.

"It's almost as if you don't care it's a knock-off of a more noteworthy French brand." Sandi always knew how to craft insults. It was quite the talent.

"I'm sorry, Sandi, but I'm afraid you're mistaken." Stacy was polite, but firm, in her denial of Sandi. "This brand is a French designer that's up-and-coming. It reminds me so much of the legendary Joy, but it much more suitable for a younger person. You should try it."

"Gee, Stacy, why would I want to wear such a cheap scent?" Sandi remarked, looking to her two sycophants for backup. Finn shot Brooke a small, subtle, smile.

"It's a lovely smell, Stacy." Brooke remarked. "I don't need any perfume now, but I'll think about it next time."

"It's...quite...what was that...word the guy used?" Tiffany showed her slow, plodding support.

"Pastoral?" Finn remarked, not caring if Tiffany was wrong or right.

"Sure!" Tiffany chimed. "Come on...we need...shoes." Tiffany and Brooke began to walk towards Cashman's. Sandi was silent for a moment, her eyes narrowed at Stacy. Finn's eyes narrowed back, although she wasn't focused on him. Eventually, the bitch walked away.

* * *

The two said nothing until the two were seated with their food at the food court.

"I don't know how you can be so polite to her." Finn noted.

"It's what Miss Manners says." Stacy answered pleasantly.

"Heh, if you say so. Sorry, but I don't see any point in being nice to that."

"Finn!" Stacy was a bit shocked.

"Stacy, it's okay to be nice to almost everyone. But seriously, all that girl has ever done is belittle and berate you, since I've moved here, and probably a lot before that."

"That doesn't mean we should be nasty." Stacy clarified.

"I'd be more than happy to ignore her if she'd just go someplace far, far away. Come on, Stacy, you can't just repress things like that. I know she makes you mad."

"She doesn't." Stacy remarked. Finn knew she was lying.

"Look, I'm not trying to goad you or anything, but seriously. That girl is nothing but trouble, and that's all she'll ever be. Karma's bound to smack her upside the head any day now."

"Finn, we shouldn't talk about that. Talking bad things like that just makes bad luck look our way."

"Okay, sorry. Forget I said anything." Finn returned to his burger and they ate while exchanging mild pleasantries.

"That was refreshing." Stacy delicately stacked her garbage on top of Finn's empty plate, while he grabbed it to throw out. Once lunch was done, the two toured a few more shops, where Stacy assisted Finn in picking a gift for his mother's birthday. They finally got smoothies before heading out towards Stacy's car.

On their way out, they met the Fashion Club again, all with their own Cashman's boxes.

"Well now, look who we see again today. What a lovely box of chocolates, Stacy. I do hope you'll indulge yourself responsibly. After all, we wouldn't want you to get fat, would we?"

"Oh no, not you." Tiffany remarked flatly. It was truly amazing how Tiffany just sided with whomever seemed to be in charge at the time. It was almost pathetic. At least Brooke kept her mouth shut.

"They're not for me." Stacy remarked. "It's for Finn's mother. Her birthday is coming."

"Oh, for Mrs. Morgendorffer. I suppose she doesn't have to worry about that sort of thing. After all, you can't fall off the train tracks if you are not on them."

"Sandi, that's quite enough." Stacy kept her composure. "Mrs. Morgendorffer has a great figure for being a woman near fifty with two children."

"Well, I suppose. It's just, well, I helped my own mother choose a new bathing suit, and even with three children she's had..."

"Sandi, we have to leave." Stacy was starting to get upset. She pushed right past the rude bitch.

"Wow, you're kinda pissed." Finn remarked. "It's kinda cool."

"I'm sorry, Finn. I just get mad when she talks bad about your mother like that." Stacy took deep breaths as the two walked to Stacy's mom's car.

"Don't be. My mom can take care of herself."

"No, I mean...I try my best to be nice and turn the other cheek and stuff and be a good person, but she talks bad about your mom, who's always been so nice to me, and I...I...I just wish Sandi woke up one day and something really bad happened to her! Like she gets a really bad zit she can't pop or she, she breaks her leg!" Stacy started breathing heavily for a moment. Then, she gasped.

"It's okay." Finn soothed. "Vent a little. You'll feel better."

"I mean, I shouldn't say things like that. Talking about bad things invites it to happen."

"Who said that?" Finn remarked. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. Stuff like that just doesn't happen. If it did, well, the world would probably have a lot more tragedies. Come on, let's get you home."

* * *

Sandi was not in school the next day. A day without Sandi always seemed to be a bit better. The day seemed to go by a little faster, Barch seemed a little less insufferable Just every little thing seemed to be better. After not noticing her in DeMartino's class, Finn completely blotted her out of her memory, and continued to concentrate on his day.

This good mood continued until just before lunch. Finn had stopped by his locker, but wasn't able to open it before he heard Stacy coming up to him. She was breathing rather heavily and seemed rather distraught.

"Stacy?" Finn wondered innocently. "Is something okay?"

"No!" Stacy cried. She wasn't shedding tears, but she looked like she was about to.

"What...what happened? Take a deep breath and..."

"It's Sandi!" Stacy interrupted.

"Yeah, she's not here today." Finn remarked. That was not a bad thing, persay.

"No, I mean she's not here because of her leg. I heard from Rebecca who heard from Abby who heard from Brooke that Sandi broke it yesterday night." Stacy stuttered out.

"Oh, wow." Finn remarked. He was pretty sure that the hype had built up before the news reached Stacy, and maybe Sandi just hurt herself badly. Or maybe she did actually break her leg.

Finn didn't feel happy hearing that news, but he wasn't exactly sad either. He couldn't see the downside to her not being in school for several days. Nothing bad about that.

"So...why exactly are you so upset? You went out to the movies and coffee with Chad Stentson after we finished at the mall. You didn't cause it."

"But Finn, remember what I said in the parking lot?"

"You said you...Stacy, things like that don't happen when you say them. That's just an old wives's tale." Finn tried to reassure, even though he was sure Stacy did not believe him.

"Oh God, you're so awful, Stacy!" The girl belittled herself.

"Stacy!" Finn rose his voice, at it was the only way to get her to shut up. True enough, it worked.

"Listen, Sandi will be fine. Just calm down. You didn't cause anything. It was just an accident." Finn tried to make his voice as gentle as possible, and he could hear Stacy's hyperventilating calm down.

"Ummm...do you think we should go over to the Griffin house and see how she is?" Stacy asked.

"Not now." Finn remarked. "We don't even know what the damage is. Besides, if her leg is broken, she might still be in the hospital. Give her some time until we find out what actually happened first."

"_And by then, I'll have thought of a better excuse_." Finn thought.

* * *

A week passed, and there was still no sign of Sandi. He was able to get an assessment of the damage from Brooke. She'd have a cast on for a month, and she wasn't able to attend any Fashion Club meetings in person, and dictated through speakerphone.

"_Wow, I mean wow. You get a chance to run meetings without her, and you take pains to get her to stay. Jeez, Brooke, what has Sandi ever done for you_?" Finn cursed. It was truly mystifying to Finn how Sandi retained her popularity for so long. She wasn't bad to look at by a long shot, but her mouth was cruel. She used men for own advantages, and belittled women to make her feel better about her imperfections. How could people tolerate that?

Luckily for Finn, his own popularity surpassed hers, and Sandi would know better than to mess with him. Lawndale's football team determined the popularity of the town. Stacy once told a horror story of having to use the unpopular girl's fitting room once when the team had lost a big game.

Sandi may have been a slew of horrible things, but she was certainly shrewd, and she would never do something that could backfire on her like that.

"_Wait, Finn, you do know why._" Finn's own inner voice turned on him in his head.

"_All she's got going is being pretty? Cruel and manipulative,. Treats the opposite sex like a talking cash machine? Remind you of anyone? Oh yeah, you remember. Lawndale's first freshman varsity center, the shining star whom everyone loved the moment they met? Just for his looks, too_?"

"_I am not Sandi_!" Finn argued with his thoughts.

"_Freshman to junior, and she's still the same as she always was. Do you hate her, Finn, or are you jealous? Jealous that everyone at school will feed the beast, as long as it's a pretty beast._"

Finn went to the bathroom and closed himself in a stall. He was hyperventilating as bad as Stacy was. He tried to calm himself, but all he kept thinking about were his freshman conquests. That trick with Tanya Crawford and the new boots, manipulating Mr. D for a bonus assignment by playing on his infatuation with Ms. Defoe, and the list went on.

Finn pushed the thoughts out of his head as he went into the hallway. There, he quickly ran into Stacy.

"Hey." He called to her, eager to take his mind out of his thoughts.

"Oh, hey Finn!" Stacy turned around to greet him warmly. Finn started to speak pleasantries with her to calm himself down. Stacy engaged him for a moment, but started to look past him shortly into it.

"Stacy?" Finn questioned. He turned around to notice just what had captivated her attention so. And once he turned around, he knew the reason why.

Sandi Griffin, with crutches, was hobbling her way down the hallway. Neither the crutches nor the cast surprised Finn any. They couldn't compare to what else had changed about Sandi in the time between her accident and now.

Finn rubbed his eyes at first in disbelief, and then ascertained that it wasn't a trick with the light. Sandi Griffin had returned to school.

"Sandi?" Stacy wondered. "You're..." Her voice trailed off as the Fashion Club president wobbled closer. Finn finished her sentence while trying to wonder whether this was more surprising or funny.

"...Fat."

* * *

Both Finn and Stacy were surprised at the spectacle before them.

"Sandi?" Stacy asked.

"Please, Stacy, by all means, keep staring." Sandi noted sarcastically.

"I wasn't staring. I'm just...surprised to see you back." Stacy tried to recover quickly, but she never was that good at thinking on her feet. Finn knew that from experience.

Finn decided to keep his mouth shut. He was concentrating on not erupting into side-splitting laughter. Not that he cared how it would make Sandi feel, but Stacy would get upset, and Finn didn't want that.

"Well, I'll have to go find Tiffany and Brooke." Stacy offered sweetly and sincerely. "Come on, Finn, let's..."

"Sandi's getting away." Finn finally opened his mouth and pointed. For as soon as Stacy had turned her back to speak to Finn, Sandi hobbled as fast as she could in the other direction, towards the doors outside. Stacy started to move after her, but Finn firmly grabbed her wrist and allowed Sandi to scuttle away.

"Oh, poor Sandi!" Stacy remarked sadly once the two found a corner. Finn, no longer able to hold it in, started to laugh hysterically.

"Finn!" Stacy was horrified at his behavior.

"Ha, ha. I'm sorry, it's just...it's just so funny." Finn wiped a tear from his eye and choked out a sentence between his chuckles.

"Finn, this is horrible for her!"

"Stacy, you are aware that we're talking about Sandi here. Sandi, Sandi Griffin. The person who crushed you under her heel every time you remotely tried to stand up for yourself. The girl who made you her doormat."

"I know she did, Finn, I know. It's just...I always felt so bad for her." Stacy remarked. "I've known her for a long time, and she always...she always seemed so lonely and sad."

"Honey, Sandi is the last person I'd start feeling sorry for. After the way she treats you and everyone else."

"She treated you nicely." Stacy reminded.

"Stacy, Sandi treated me nicely only because she wanted to be more popular by being attached to me. She didn't actually care like you did." Finn reminded.

"Well, I'm not giving up! This is my fault and I'm going to fix it."

"Stacy, you were nowhere near Sandi when whatever happened happened. Further, Sandi got fat. She did that to herself. Probably couldn't put down the damn chocolates." Finn tried to explain everything factually to Stacy, even though he was certain that it wouldn't matter.

"Finn, you don't understand. I wished for this. I wished it with all my heart and it came true."

"Stacy, I wished with all my heart for a new sister and I didn't get one for sixteen years."

"We should go over her house." Stacy affirmed. "We should go over and see how she's doing, make her feel better."

"How do you propose do to that, let her insult you? Besides, this is Sandi we're talking about. Sandi. She's not going to be happy as long as she's fat. Fat chicks and dating..."

"That's it!" Stacy exclaimed excitedly. "Finn, that's perfect. We can help make her skinny again!"

"Until she gets her cast off, that's going to be a challenge. And Stacy, I'm not saying this to be mean or anything, but power yoga can't do all of that. She's going to need some serious coaching, and I'm not sure that's your area of expertise. Anyway, just forget about it. You didn't cause any problems, this isn't remotely your fault. Let's just get back to our normal lives and forget all about it." Finn soothed as he walked Stacy to the next class that they shared together.

"_And I'll try to stop laughing. But just on the outside_." Finn kept to himself.

Sandi did not come to school the following days, and it just made Stacy feel worse and worse. According to the rumor mill, the reason Sandi wasn't coming was because it hurt too much to walk in her cast.

"_But isn't that what the crutches are for?_" Stacy thought. There was an elevator in the school for use for people in Sandi's condition, after all. She would be able to reach top-floor classes.

But whatever reason Sandi wasn't coming to school, Stacy knew it couldn't hide the guilt in her heart. Sure it may have seemed silly to some what had happened, but wishing something bad on someone, and then having it happen, was not a pleasant concept.

But Stacy knew she had a goal, and that restoring Sandi to how she was before the accident would be a good thing. Every good act Stacy did, she knew she would receive. That was the way of things, after all. It was such a shame that Finn and her did not see eye to eye on that.

* * *

At the Griffin house, Sandi seethed silently as she lay in her bed. There was little else that she could do with her leg in a cast, and she knew that this...horrible disfigurement of her body weightwise was because she could do nothing to get rid of it. How did one exercise in a cast like this. Whether it was yoga or stretching or whatever, the best Sandi could do was wave her arms around, and that certainly didn't burn the necessary calories.

There was a knock at her door. It opened to reveal her father.

"Yes, father?" Sandi replied a little indignantly. Her father, Tom Griffin, was an accountant, and he worked very long hours. When Sandi was very young, he worked a lot less than he did, and spent a lot of time with her. But he stopped doing so, began working more, and her mother began to occupy more of her time.

Sandi wasn't ungrateful. Her mother taught her many things: How to smile properly, and how to keep a level voice no matter what, the truth of men, and more. And her father cast her off to work. And deal with Sam and Chris, Sandi's two little brats of brothers.

"How are you feeling, precious? Is your leg still in pain?" He asked sincerely. He was holding a book in his hands.

"I am still in a cast, father, and I'm horribly disfigured. I am not feeling well." Sandi had no patience for this man. He was little more than a shadow in man's skin when compared to his wife, her mother.

"Sandi, you are not disfigured, you're always beautiful." Her father said sweetly, and Sandi's face mellowed just a little. It was a sweet thing to say, and it did make her feel a bit better.

"Tom, what are you doing?" A voice came from the doorway, a voice both Griffins knew belonged to the matriarch, Linda.

"Hello, Linda. I'm just checking up on Sandi." Sandi's father remarked.

"I see. Well, off with you. Let me have some time with her." Her mother rebuked.

"Linda, I just got here and I wanted to..." The man started to protest, but then he locked gaze with his wife and the sheer iron in her eyes caused him to break.

"Pardon me." The man excused himself.

"Well, Sandi, are you still eating those chocolates? I'm sure they're tasty, but we must be careful. We wouldn't want to put on any more weight, now, would we?" Linda gently, but firmly, took away the box of chocolates sitting on the bedside.

"Yes, of course, Mother." Sandi remarked.

"You might be in a cast, but we mustn't neglect ourselves. A light dinner for you tonight, starting to get a little soft now."

"I understand, mother." Sandi remarked. Her mother stood for a moment, than left the room. There was silence for a while. After a quiet minute, her father returned in the open doorway holding a book.

"Yes?" Sandi asked.

"Precious, I didn't get a chance to give you this earlier, but I thought with you being in a cast, but still able to move your arms, I found a copy of..." Her father started, but his voice was quickly interrupted by a shill voice calling from downstairs.

"Tom, you lazy man!" Linda Griffin's voice had a habit of soaring through the house when she was angry. "Didn't you go to the store and pick up some carrots and lettuce? I almost think you want me to gain weight!"

"Coming dear." Tom Griffin huffed.

"I'll be back shortly, precious." Her father kissed her on the forehead before heading out the door. Sandi didn't even pay attention to the book he left sitting beside her bed. He wouldn't be back anytime soon to tell her what it was.

* * *

There was no talk of Sandi for weeks. Or rather, Stacy would propose discussion, and Finn would silence it. No one else would bring it up. It did not surprise Finn that no one talked about Sandi Griffin. The word had already spread of her weight gain, and, like all ugly people, no one cared about her.

"_Heh, the way it should be. She's ugly on the outside as she is on the inside, She's not as unpopular as Daria, but now she's a laughing stock. That's good enough for me." Finn _thought with a silent cheer.

It seemed that Stacy was the only one who cared. Tiffany and Brooke continued the Fashion Club without her, although Finn wasn't certain how that would be possible unless Brooke was steering everything, but Tiffany would never allow that. Or perhaps Brooke merely distracted Tiffany with a mirror. That was always an effective tactic.

The days continued much as they normally did. Finn didn't associate with Sandi much, if at all, following what he did for Stacy, and even less so after that dance party where Finn told off all the girls who were just too cruel. Finn practiced, hung out with Jane or Tom, did all his normal things.

It wasn't until a rather overcast Thursday that anything changed. The day started out normally, but while Finn was at home, there was a knock at the door. He was not expecting anyone, and Daria and Tom had gone out on a date, so it couldn't be anyone for her.

"_Jane_?' Finn wondered. He headed down the stairs. But it wasn't Jane at the door, it was Stacy.

"Finn, I'm so glad you're here." Stacy was excitable, as she always was.

"Something the matter?" Finn asked innocently.

"Matter? No, but Sandi got her cast off today." Stacy noted.

"O...K..." Finn answered slowly.

"_I have this sudden feeling where a great period in my life has just come to an end, and I never really enjoyed it." Finn _thought to himself.

"Okay, so Sandi's got her cast off." Finn did not speak his thoughts. "I guess she's still fat though. Can't lose it that fast without lipo. She didn't get lipo did she?"

"I...I don't think so. Anyway, Finn, remember that thing we talked about?"

"Ummm...we were making plans to go to the..."

"I mean with Sandi." Stacy insisted. "Remember what I said?"

"Stacy, I..." Finn started.

"Her cast is off, and now she's ready to get back into shape! That's the only thing that's still there from the accident, her weight."

"Stacy, isn't this sort of thing best left to like, what was that fancy word they used...dietitian? I think that was it."

"Finn, all Sandi needs to do is lose weight and get in shape. We both know how to do that."

"And Stacy, you're going to do that?" Finn was confused. "Okay, I know you know how to keep yourself in shape, but you can do that for someone else."

"She just needs some coaching." Stacy explained.

"And...you're going to do that? Stacy, have you ever been a coach?"

"Umm...well...no." Stacy admitted. "Hmm, I guess this is going to be harder than I thought."

"Hey, no harm, no foul, Stacy. But hey, since you're here, why don't we go to that place you like? The one that makes the really good paninis?"

"Oh, that sounds great!" Stacy smiled.

* * *

Finn and Stacy went to the bistro to order their meal. Stacy waited at the counter for the meals to be prepared while Finn went to go fill up their sodas. With things quiet, Stacy started to think about Sandi and her weight.

Stacy was right in that the weight was the only thing Sandi had to lose. As much as she wanted too, Stacy could not unmake the accident or her wish. The best she could do was make it so that it never happened. That would help her guilt.

And working out was the way to get Sandi back to herself again. Of course, this was some serious work, so Sandi would need someone who was really fit, someone who knew how to tone up. Someone who could always get the job done.

"Here we are." Finn remarked, holding the two sodas. Shortly after, the food came up, and the two of them took their seats.

The two were silent for a moment while they started to eat.

"Don't tell me you're still thinking about helping Sandi, are you?" Finn asked.

"I didn't say..." Stacy started.

"It's written all over your face." Finn pointed out. "Look, Stacy, I get that you want to help, it's nice of you. But do you know someone who could coach her like she needs?" Finn started to munch on his panini. Stacy was quiet for a moment, before she got a stroke of brilliance.

"_You always pull through for me just when I need it!_" She silently thanked her brain.

"There is someone!" Stacy exclaimed, briefly forgetting that they were in a restaurant.

"Huh?" Finn remarked.

"Sorry! I mean there is someone I know who can do the job."

"Really?"

"He's strong, and in great shape, and really knows how to take care of himself."

"Sounds like a pretty nice guy." Finn sipped his soda.

"It's you, Finn." Stacy stated. Finn's eyes bulged at the revelation

"Excuse me?" Finn managed to get out between sputters. "You want me to coach Sandi?"

"Why not? You know how to stay in shape, and you're such a great teacher."

"Sandi and I don't get along." Finn quickly pointed out. "We never really did."

"But she really needs the help, Finn." Stacy remarked. "Please?"

"No way." Finn delivered flatly. "I can see nothing but problems coming from this."

"Finn, this is serious." Stacy remarked.

"Are you still thinking this is all your fault? Listen ,Stacy, this wasn't..." Finn started.

"You owe me." Stacy remarked. "Remember that time The mother-son days I bailed you out of, calling to get you out of really bad dates. That time I picked your dad up when his car broke down at the restaurant."

"How he still managed to get that client is something I will never figure out." Finn remarked. "Okay, yeah, Stacy. If I was doing something like this for anyone, it would be you. But Sandi will never..."

"I'll pay you." Stacy remarked.

"You...you really feel that guilty?" Finn seemed surprised.

"Fine." He shrugged. "We'll go over there and offer it. But if she says no, no fighting, no arguing. We just go. Got it."

"Fine." Stacy agreed quickly. The two finished their meal and headed out to Stacy's car. She was singing with the radio as she carefully drove towards Sandi's house. She didn't even notice that Finn wasn't singing along.

* * *

Finn had been to the Griffin house before, but not in a long while. It didn't look like they had done any major renovations with the place. Stacy eagerly rang the doorbell.

"Remember, Stacy. We don't need to explain anything, we just make the offer." Finn remarked.

"No is no. Don't push it. She doesn't want help, we don't force it." Finn continued to speak. He prayed Sandi would say no, or Stacy would chicken out. While Finn was certain he was up to the task of coaching Sandi and doing weight-loss exercises, he had absolutely no desire to do so. He wasn't certain if Sandi would commit, he and Sandi didn't get along, and part of Finn actually enjoyed the fact that Sandi was unsightly. The only reason Sandi had as much as she had before was because she was pretty, and now, she had nothing.

A man in a business suit answered the door. Finn remembered him. This was Tom Griffin, Sandi's father. While he seemed to know the parents Morgendorffer, Finn had never spoken to the man very much. Whenever he tried to, Linda Griffin would always push her way into the conversation.

"_That woman. Can't be outdone. Like Mom on crack_." Finn thought.

"Hello...ummm...you're Stacy, and you're...Finn, right?" The man was pleasant, and was soft-spoken. "What brings you here?"

"We wanted to see Sandi. See how she was." Finn delivered expertly.

"Oh, how lovely." Tom Griffin smiled. "Well, head on up. If you'll excuse me." The man let the two inside, then darted away towards the back door. Finn thought he heard shouting, which was probably the other two Griffin brats, Sam and Chris, out in the back.

Stacy led the way to Sandi's room. She was lying on the bed, eating a number of chocolates.

"Father, I was express in stating..." Sandi was still scowling as she turned her head.

"Oh!" She paused when she noticed the guests in her doorway.

"Hi, Sandi." Stacy greeted warmly, as she always did.

"Well, hello, Stacy." Sandi was dismissive in her tone, as she always was.

"Are you feeling better now that your cast is off?"

"I suppose that you come to laugh." Sandi growled. Stacy did not seem daunted. Finn, however, continued to look at Sandi. He could swear she repressed a sniffle just after she spoke.

"We're not here to laugh at you. We want to help you." Stacy remarked sincerely.

"And how do you propose to do that?" Sandi asked.

"We want to get you back in shape. Finn's offered to be your coach."

"So why are you here?" Sandi asked. Finn was surprised, that was a very legitimate question, one he had never considered.

"I'm...I'm going to be right there with you. Whatever you have to do, I'm going to do it with you. That way, you won't be alone in doing all the hard work."

"Stacy, are you...sure about that?" Finn interjected. "I'm not known for being easy."

"It's okay, Finn." Stacy returned. "You'll do what needs to be done, I'll be moral support."

"_Moral support_?" Finn thought.

"But Sandi, if you don't want to, you don't have to." Finn remarked. "This is just an offer."

"What's the use? I'm horribly obese. My life is over." Sandi remarked.

"So that's a no..." Finn started to turn, but Stacy firmly grabbed his wrist.

"You're not obese or disfigured. You just couldn't do anything with that cast. Now you can. And I want to help." Sandi seemed to seriously mull over Stacy's words. Finn silently willed the word "no" in his head repeatedly.

"Very well. If you want to do it that badly."

* * *

Coaching started the next day with simple workouts. Slimming down workouts were not the same as the bulking up the linebackers did, but Finn knew enough to know what to do.

"We're going to..." Finn started as Sandi and Stacy took their positions while Finn fiddled with Sandi's CD player.

"Sandi, you might want to change into something more appropriate." Finn remarked.

"I may be ghastly, but that is no excuse to be unfashionable." Sandi returned. The clothes she was wearing were appropriate for her weight gain, but not for working out.

"Sandi, we're on the second floor with the curtains drawn, no one is going to see you." Finn pointed out.

"I can still be seen. Who knows what stalkers are around. Of course, if they saw what you are wearing, Stacy, they'd probably forget all about me. How did that saying go, everyone loves a tragedy?"

"Sandi..." Stacy started just a bit. Finn could feel her repressing a whimper. Stacy may have evolved and gotten a lot more confident since she had left Sandi's clutches, but old habits died very hard.

Finn turned on some workout music and began the routine he had planned. High reps, high impact, calorie burning and definition both. The workout continued in silence for a time, and Finn was happy that, at the very least, Sandi was applying herself to this. Not that it surprised him: Sandi would want to be thin.

Once the workout was finished, Finn started to explain some eating habits and light workouts Sandi could do on her own when Finn was not around.

"You are so considerate, Finn." Sandi remarked, and Finn was on his guard. Such compliments were Sandi's way of trying to either guilt o r exploit. It never worked on Finn, but that never stopped her from trying.

"Sandi, you're doing well." Stacy remarked pleasantly. "You'll be back to yourself in no time."

"Gee, Stacy, it seems your time away from me hasn't done much for your manners." Sandi chided, and Finn felt like he was back in freshman year.

"Finn wasn't speaking." Stacy pointed out.

"We should get going." Finn immediately cut in, preventing a fight with the women.

"Workout by yourself tomorrow, I'll see you the day after for more coaching." Finn remarked.

"But, Finn, can't we..." Stacy started.

"Stacy, I've already made plans tomorrow. Can't cancel `em." Finn noted. In truth, he was only going for a celebratory pizza with the football team following their victory over Gregory Bishop, but Stacy didn't need to know how short his plans were. Just that they existed. Without another word, Finn excused the both of them, and quickly left the Griffin house before any more fights could happen.

* * *

After Finn and Stacy had left, Sandi silently looked over the workouts. Nothing overly complicated, exercises she knew, just more frequent and more intense. If that was what it took to be beautiful again, there wouldn't be many problems.

There was another knock at the door, and in stepped her father.

"Yes?" Sandi asked, her tone taking a harsh tone again. She had no idea why her father kept coming in like this.

"Hello, precious. I just wanted to know how the first workout went?"

"It went well. It's not rocket science." Sandi's gaze softened just a little bit. Sandi couldn't remember much of life before her brothers were born, as she was five when Sam came around. But what she did remember was mostly her father and her, and all the things they did together. The first time they went to the beach, treating the bumps and bruises all children seemed to get, and other memories that Sandi cherished and shared with no one, for they were far too personal.

But things changed, and now he was the accountant, not the dad.

"Is there anything you need, precious? I looked up a few recipes on the Internet that would help." The man offered pleasantly.

"Mother is on top of it." Sandi delivered. Her father seemed disappointed.

"I'm happy you have such friends, Sandi, who came to help you. It's good to see you with other people."

"Father, I'm hideous, I don't want people to see me. And they're not friends, it's just Stacy."

"Stacy is..." Tom Griffin started, but then Sandi's door creaked open more and Sandi's mother stepped into the room.

"Linda?" Tom remarked with surprise. "I did not hear you come in."

"Tom, aren't you getting dinner started? And didn't you mow the lawn, take out the trash, and feed the cat? Dear God, man, you're completely useless. Now, shoo! Go!" The woman looked ready to throw her husband out. Without protest, the man sighed and left the room.

"Sandi, I understand you've been attempting to lose the weight you gained. Good for you. A Griffin woman must always be at her most beautiful at all times."

"Thank you, mother."

"Who was it that came here again?"

"Finn Morgendorffer is coaching me." Sandi answered.

"Ah, the quarterback. Popular boy. Quite handsome too. Gets that from his father since his mother is so...But I thought I heard a woman's voice, too."

"Of course, Mother." Sandi answered. "I wouldn't dream of bringing a man alone into my room with some sort of chaperone. Stacy Rowe." Sandi remarked on one of her mother's rules.

"Oh, that girl. Well, I suppose she does have a pair of functioning eyes to do that with. That's all she's really good for though. Well, I'm certain you'll keep up with the workouts. After all, we wouldn't want Sandi Griffin to be seen as someone who isn't beautiful, would we?"

"Of course not, Mother."

"That's good. There is much opportunity to come from this."

"Pardon?" Sandi asked confused.

"Sandi, the quarterback is taking his time to spend with you." Linda answered. "And, if I remember, you said that Stacy girl was the one who used to be part of your Fashion Club?"

"Correct. What do you mean, Mother?" Sandi was enticed.

"Sandi, that girl dared to stand against you, and said she didn't need you anymore. And now, she's here. You have the opportunity. Crush her, break her. Show her what a fool she was for ever thinking she was superior to you. Who deserves to be the queen of Lawndale High?"

"Me." Sandi smiled cruelly.

"And the queen deserves a king, does she not. Once you crush Stacy, you'll be free to move onto Finn. He's a popular and fashionable boy, and friends with Lawndale's wealthy elite. There is much to be gained from him. And must to be lost from his mother."

"Oh, I see." Sandi understood. All men were the same anyway, a resource to be exploited. Finn had money and social status that begged to be used by the person who knew how. And Stacy? Sandi always wanted to crush her. How dare she, that moron, think she was the superior fashionable girl of Lawndale. She deserved to be nothing more than to be of the unwashed.

"What should I do, Mother?" Sandi asked. Linda took a deep breath and started to deliver advice. And Sandi no longer wondered where her father was.

* * *

Training continued for a few weeks, and while Sandi wasn't finished, there was definitely progress being made. Once Sandi had made somewhat of a recovery, Finn deemed she was alright to go out into public and workout at the Lawndale Health Spa. Sandi was resistant at first, but when Finn assured her that people there did that sort of thing, she seemed to relax.

Sandi and Stacy both were swimming laps in the pool. Finn, with a whistle and a progress chart, watched them.

"Well done, Sandi." Stacy praised. Stacy was the only one praising her, for Finn found himself unable. She was sticking to this regimen, because if she wasn't, Finn would have bolted immediately.

"Finn, will you not be joining us?" Sandi offered.

"No thanks. I'm supposed to be watching your progress. Besides, no trunks." Finn returned.

"I do not mind. It would probably be more motivational. It is hard to concentrate on working out when you have Stacy's horrible bikini to look at."

"But Sandi..." Stacy started.

"Sandi." Finn's voice took a cautionary tone, but Sandi ignored it.

"Yes, Stacy, it had to be said. Your choice of swimwear is not flattering. It makes your hips bulge, and you don't have the butt or the breasts for it. It is perhaps the most horrid choice ever made."

"But Sandi, this was made for me. One of the new freshman is studying to be a fashion designer and he made this just for me, it's beautiful."

"Beautifully hideous." Sandi corrected. "It's technically well-done, but on you it's just horrible."

"Sandi." Finn continued.

"It seems you haven't learned anything in our time apart." Sandi berated her. "Every time I've seen you, I'm reminded of why it was I started the Fashion Club in the first place, to help those who choose wrongly in the ways of style, make-up and accessories. Oh, Finn, she may no longer be my subordinate, but I truly feel I must apologize for her..."

"That. Is. Enough!" Finn shouted. "I have been listening to you criticize and blast the nicest person in existence for far too long! You wanna know something, Sandi? You're hideous. Ugly, unsightly. You have some good looks and you knew how to work it, but when it came down to it, but the second you lost it, no one gave a crap about you. Stacy was the only person who wanted to help you, she was the only person who cared enough to give you what you wanted. And she endured all your abuse because she wanted to help. I sure didn't. I wanted to bolt every time you opened your awful mouth."

Stacy was aghast, and would not dare speak.

"The day I saw you hideous, I laughed so hard I nearly cracked a rib. Because finally, justice was served. You were as hideous on the outside as you were on the inside. You have nothing, and you spit on the one person who ever showed you kindness. You're nothing but a first-class, four-star, insecure ultra-bitch, and I'm not going to put up with you. I'm not paid enough to deal with little bitches like you. Do the world a favor and march your fat ass into oncoming traffic. I'm done!" Finn threw his clipboard into the pool and stormed off.

"Finn, Finn! Wait!" Stacy pulled herself out of the pool to chase after him, not even drying off. And the door slammed, and Sandi was all alone. It was surprising just how quiet things were here.

Until Sandi's low wail started to pierce it.

* * *

Sandi waited in the pool for a little longer. The water was quite effective at wiping her tears away. Then she went into the locker room, changed to her normal clothes, and headed back home. Finn had insisted they all walk to the spa from Sandi's house, not that it was very far from either the Rowe or Griffin residence. Not a whole lot of time had elapsed since Finn had left her at the spa, but it felt a lot longer.

Sandi was never used to that sort of behavior before. Some people had sad some nasty things to her before: Happened to everyone, she supposed. But those were all unpopular people. Ugly chicks, guys without cars, the poor. People who did not matter. Finn was none of those things. He was popular, good-looking, and incredible. But truly, it was what Finn said that really drove things home. Finn had mentioned that no one had cared about Sandi. And, ever since that day where she made her appearance in school, no one had called upon her to check on her. The Fashion Club had still worked with Sandi's absence over the speakerphone, but once it happened, Tiffany and Brooke had mentioned that, due to the Fashion Club bylaws about it's member's weight, Sandi could no longer participate.

It was only fair, but even without that, the two girls simply carried on the meetings as if Sandi never existed. They didn't call on her in a non-Fashion Club related concern to see how she was, or even as a non-affiliated consultant, like Sandi sometimes used for Tori Jericho.

And it wasn't just limited to the Fashion Club. Phone calls came to the house from some of the girls at school. Sympathy and get-well cards from suitors, other boys, and a few Fashion Club hopefuls would come in the mail. Sandi received no visitors, but gifts were accepted, and receiving some flowers or a teddy bear was common for one who was injured.

It all changed when she was revealed to have gained weight. The calls and cards stopped. The house was quiet. Sandi liked the fact that no one was staring at her deformity, but the loss of love from out of sight was distressing. To put it mildly. Sandi would still not have gone out in public with someone, date or otherwise, but a suitor could still call and leave his interest once things were better, or perhaps a motivational present. Roses and chocolates were standards for a reason, but some new dumbbells would not have been turned away.

In truth, the only people who had expressed their interest were Finn and Stacy. Sandi's thought regarding the whole ordeal was that it was Finn's idea to coach her to lose weight. Exercise was something he knew well, after all. Stacy would have only be leeching onto him in a show of mock support, for a date or something. That was all Stacy was after all: A follower, a leech. She had a fairly good idea regarding an outfit one day during freshman year and thought it made her superior. And everything went downhill from there. Boys flocked to Stacy, not to Sandi.

But now, according to Finn, it was Stacy who wanted Sandi to get thing. Stacy was the one who cared, and Finn was just around for the money. And, as Sandi reviewed things in her mind, things started to make more sense from that direction. It certainly explained Stacy's participation, as getting a date from Finn would not require that much physical exertion. And it explained why Finn was focused solely on business. If he wanted to help, there would be some flirting, after all.

Sandi was uncertain if she could do the rest of the job herself. She remembered the routines and she had her own motivation, but without Finn to coach her, make sure she was doing it properly, Sandi couldn't say.

She sat on the bed in despair, and looked at the box of chocolates sitting on her bedside table. They looked tempting, and soothing. Chocolate had magical powers.

"Precious?" Her father's voice called from the door.

"Are you alright?" He asked her pleasantly. "You seem upset."

"Of course I am upset, father. I fired my...I found there was no..." Sandi tried to instigate a lie that said she was the one who terminated Finn's services, but it wouldn't be true. She was still fat, and Finn never left jobs unfinished.

"Sweetie, what's the matter?" Her father sat on the bed, and put his arm around her.

"It's...it's so lonely in here!" Sandi sobbed. "No one comes to call, no one cares. I can't even wear my favorite burgundy blouse and I want it all back!"

"Sweetie, you always have me." Her father said.

"That's not what I meant. I want friends again, I want the suitors lining up. And now my coach left me!"

"That Finn boy? What happened?" Her father asked. Sandi sniffed. She hadn't thought of a lie, and who knew what rumors Finn would be spreading around. Rumors that people would believe. The more popular you were, the more you told the truth. It was basic physics.

So Sandi told her father the truth. What else could she do?

"Precious..." Her father trailed off.

"And now I have to do it all myself!"

"Precious, why did you insult that other girl?" Her father asked. "Clearly, your coach took offense."

"Umm...well..." Sandi didn't tell her father what her mother told her. She made that mistake once as a child and her mom never let her make it again. Besides, he was a boy. The Y chromosomes just didn't understand the relationship between two girls. It was complicated.

"Precious, what have I told you about getting what you give? It seems to me like you made more than one mistake."

"Mistake?" Sandi questioned.

"We all make mistakes. We're not perfect. Clearly it was, since you're upset with everything that happened. Now, it shouldn't be too hard to keep you on your workout and lose the rest of your weight, but once you're back at school, you should be able to learn from your mistakes, and improve yourself."

"Huh?"

"What happened with you with all your other friends was awful, and clearly you're upset. You couldn't prevent the accident, but you can prevent the abandonment. If you want to have friends, don't think about revenge or anything. Think about what you can do to get real friends to stand by you no matter what happens. Show them that, and you get it back. Tenfold."

"Father..." Sandi's voice trailed off. Everything he told her flew in the face of what her mother had told her. Her mother's lessons were that people were just resources to be mined. Boys were idiots who could be dazzled by a well-placed smile. Girls responded to someone in charge. Crush anyone who dared oppose you. Mistakes by others deserved to be exposed.

"Sweetie, you have a lot to think about. I'm going to get dinner started. And dear?" Tom Griffin started for the door, but turned at that last minute.

"Yes?"

"Don't tell your mother about this."

* * *

A few weeks passed, and while the results weren't as fast as they were with Finn, she was down to a weight where she could be seen in public. Sandi took advantage of this to hit the mall for the first time. She needed to take a look in Cashman's anyway to see what new fashions came about in her absence. Magazines and store racks were just not the same thing.

While she browsed the markdowns, she started to think about her father. What she had told him was foreign, but Finn's ways of dealing with other people were so much different than her own, and he was still popular. Perhaps there was truly more than one way to have popularity.

Stacy tried to recall if there was a time, like her accident, where Finn had been unsightly. How did he recover from something like that. She couldn't think of anything. Nothing like this. People were aghast when they found out his sister was the very unpopular Daria Morgendorffer, but even that wasn't so bad. Daria was Daria, Finn was Finn, was what he said. And it worked.

And Stacy? Stacy didn't possess the gumption for the intrigue game. She found it abhorrent to spread rumors. And yet, she did popularity. When one challenged her, she reversed it. One said her breasts were too small, she remarked that it was all about proportion, and too-large breasts were circus freaks or obviously fake. And she only responded when provoked. If one did not challenge her, she, at worst, left one alone.

Sandi shook her thoughts from her head. This was tiring. She decided to head over to the fragrance counter to clear her head. As she was at the counter, Sandi noticed, right next to her at the makeup counter, there was a woman sitting alone in a chair. Sandi knew those chairs. That was where people sat when the women behind the counter helped them with makeup that would make them look good.

"_And she's alone_?" Sandi wondered. Perhaps the makeup lady needed to use the restroom. The woman turned to face Sandi.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you were the clerk." The woman remarked.

"I am not." Sandi returned. Her initial thought was to just dismiss this girl. She was not very pretty, and it made sense why she was at a makeup counter. There was a lot she needed.

At the same time, this was another person, and Sandi was desperate for companionship at the moment.

"So, you are getting a makeover?" Sandi asked.

"That's my plan." The woman at the desk was older than Sandi, maybe around thirty. "But I swear, it's like the counter lady is a total idiot! I look like a freak!"

"Well, the job isn't finished yet." Sandi remarked.

"What would you do?" The woman asked.

"You're asking me?"

"Well, you do have nice skin." The woman remarked. If that wasn't an invitation for conversation, Sandi didn't know what was. Sandi pulled up another of the chairs and faced the woman.

"How do you normally wear makeup?" Sandi asked. The woman produced a picture from her purse. No wonder she was so ugly. The way she wore her makeup and clothes made her look like a cross between a teenager who refused to grow up and one of those hideous goth vampire chicks, with a unhealthy mix of ghetto trash mixed in.

There were so many insults swimming in Sandi's head it wasn't even funny. It was shooting ducks in a barrel, the insults would be that easy.

But Sandi paused and remembered her father's words. She forced Finn and Stacy, the only people who came to her, to leave for insulting Stacy.

"Do not wear light lipstick and dark lip-liner. Stick with one." Sandi started. "Your face needs a bit more color, so I would go for a darker..." Sandi started to give tips, although she did not administer any of the woman's makeup herself.

"You should also get some appropriate outfits." Sandi finished. "I don't understand why you wouldn't wear navy. Anyone who told you that chartreuse was your color should be ashamed to call themselves your consultant." The woman took notes.

"Thanks so much! You saved me some time. Wow, you're really nice."

"Huh?" Sandi remarked.

"I mean, you could have so just ignored me or been like, ugh, whatever, who is this chick. I'm here all the time, and there's this girl who kinda looks like you, I see her in the Junior 5 section. Little skinnier, but total bitch. I mean, seriously, she gives us chicks a bad name. Not you, you're so helpful. You made my day." The woman casually insulted, and Sandi reasoned that the one person she could have been talking about was herself, before the accident. Sandi had never met this woman before, she thought, but she didn't remember ugly people.

"Well, I have to go. I'll...I'll buy you a pretzel or a smoothie or something, if you like." The woman offered. Sandi politely declined, and the woman headed out.

And Sandi felt a warm feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. And all she did was what the Fashion Club always did, in much nicer language. It felt very nice. Was that how Stacy did it? Was that how Finn did it?

And Sandi realized her father was right. His advice had made her happier like she never thought possible. And she didn't want it to go away.

So kindness didn't inherently mean "use me" as her mother believed. Her father was right. Her father was right there wanting to help her and Sandi ignored him, or her mother rebuked him.

"_And that's...another mistake_." Sandi thought to herself. She was sick of making mistakes. But at least now she knew where the mistakes lie.

* * *

Another week passed, and Sandi was back to her regular weight by sticking with the regimen. She could scarcely believe herself when she looked in the mirror.

"You look wonderful, precious. Here, I got you something." Her father was holding a Cashman's box. Sandi elegantly opened it.

"Burgundy, I had one like this, but I love how it looks on me. I love the embroidery on the sleeves Thank you, Father." Sandi kissed her father on the cheek.

"You mentioned it when we were talking, remember? How are you feeling?" Her father asked.

"A lot better. Such a shame it is Saturday, else I would be happy to go to school."

"Well, I'm glad." Tom Griffin smiled.

"Ummm, Father? I have been thinking. I had an idea..." Sandi started, but her mother soon entered the room.

"Sandi, you look back to your old self." Linda remarked.

"New and improved." Sandi returned. Linda chuckled a bit, but from her laugh it was clear the statement went over her head.

"Actually, you are both here, I wanted to ask you something." Sandi remarked.

"What is it?" Her father asked pleasantly.

"Sandi, time is money." Her mother was impatient. How did Sandi not notice the difference between the two of them?

"I was thinking of obtaining a part-time job. I saw at Mooncalf's that they were hiring personal shoppers, and they would allow a minor to work, not like Cashman's."

"A personal shopper?" Tom asked.

"I would help people pick appropriate outfits, do makeup if necessary. Coordinate for that person their wardrobe for an event or for the season, depends on who they are." Sandi clarified.

"That's...actually pretty appropriate." Her father praised. "I mean, you study fashion and you do it all the time. Why not help someone out like that? You could probably get some good tips from that job, too."

"It does suit your talents, Sandi, but serve the public?" Linda was aghast at the suggestion. "Out of the question. You are a Griffin woman, not some fetch-and-carry."

"Linda, they aren't maids either." Tom started.

"Tom, don't tell me you're encouraging this foolishness. You want our daughter to spend her days in service to someone else? She should..."

"Mother, Father has a point. It does fit my talents, and there is something I was wanting to buy that was rather expensive."

"And what would that be."

"It is a secret." Sandi remarked. She had the perfect idea for her father's birthday present. Normally she just went to the doodad store and picked up the first thing she saw. But not anymore. Her father had always been there for her, and it was time to get him something he wanted. Sandi knew his secret passion was always the ocean, but their mother hated the sea, and refused to allow any trip there. He resorted to faking business trips. She would get a real gift for him with money she earned herself.

"Sandi, there are other ways to raise money. Just get cash instead of gifts from your..." The woman continued to talk, and Sandi looked to her father with an expression she had never used in some time. "_Please stop her_."

"Linda, shut up!" Tom was forceful, and took the wind out of her sails.

"You're doing nothing but making our little girl miserable! All you ever talk about is the men who wanted to date you, or how superior you are to Helen Morgendorffer, or that damn story about interviewing Rosealynn Carter for the billionth time. Why can't you think about Sandi for once!" The woman was aghast.

"Sandi, if you want to be a personal shopper, go ahead. I'll look over your application if you want. Will you excuse us? Your mother and I need to have a word in the garage." And her parents stormed out. Sandi sat quietly for a moment, and then hugged the burgundy blouse to her chest. It suited her, and she would wear it when she was interviewed. Once again, her father came to her rescue.

Sandi's job as a personal shopper started rather quickly. Perhaps the store was desperate for hires, or perhaps they just liked her. But Sandi took to her job very well. Competition was rather fierce among the girls working there, as everyone wanted to be the ones who got the best tips or the richest customer or whoever. Sandi ignored them all, and their games. She focused on her job and the customer. She found a great joy in work, in using her talents to best tailor the customer. Such an attitude carried over to Lawndale High. Sandi ignored the other girls and focused on herself. She abandoned the game of insults. She only retaliated when provoked, she never initiated an assault. And when it happened, people would side with Sandi, even if the other girl was more popular. Popularity was returning to her quickly. Dates were calling, events were planned, and Sandi felt like the accident's only flaw was that she couldn't give herself a pedicure.

* * *

Mooncalf's catered to mostly an older clientele, so Sandi didn't see anyone she knew in the store until Finn Morgendorffer came in a few days after her hire.

"I had to see it for myself." Finn remarked. "You're working as a personal shopper?"

"It is a long story, and I am on the clock." Sandi answered politely.

"And a polite refusal. I must be out of it." Finn jibbed in a manner Sandi knew was not an insult.

"So, your leg has healed completely and you're back to your regular weight." Finn remarked.

"Fortunately, the fashion world hasn't changed much. I needed very little in the way of new clothes." Sandi noted.

"So, I've noticed you back around school. You've been acting differently."

"How so?" Sandi replied with faux innocence.

"No insults, no put-downs. You don't wanna date someone, you just tell `em no thanks. Not like you used to be."

"I may do as I please."

"But I approve." Finn remarked, and Sandi felt her legs quake just a bit. That was the first time Finn had given her a sincere compliment. Finn was the master of the cheap palliative: One had to be in the games of high school politics, but it was easy to know when he meant something."

"I did this for me."

"Isn't that what I said." Finn returned, and silent subtext was picked up upon by both. Sandi could hardly look at him. She wanted to tell him that she was glad he yelled at her, for it helped her realize what she had been missing all this time: People who truly liked, appreciated, and admired her.

"Finn?" Sandi's voice was meek.

"It's okay." Finn said in a soothing voice, and gently put his hand under her chin to force her eyes up to meet his sparkling smile.

"No more questions." Finn smiled, and Sandi nearly lost it. He drew her into a hug, the first real show of affection she had from the quarterback. In a way, Sandi knew that this was as far as she would get with Finn, and some other girl, maybe even Stacy, would have him to herself.

But it was no longer important. The relationship between Finn and Sandi remained between the two. That was hers, and all she need care about.


End file.
